KEYWORDS: lord, time

I Was Sick--And Ye Visited Me!

David Berg

—Mt.25:36—MODO No.698May 24, 1978

—The Story of Techi.—By Father David.

1. I THINK THIS ILLNESS I've been through these past few weeks was to help humble me and remind me that it's all only God, only the Lord. I'm much better now, but don't stop praying, I haven't quite made it yet. As Paul said,

2. "I COUNT NOT MYSELF TO HAVE ATTAINED." Did you know that Paul never did make it?—Till he died! You haven't made it until the Lord relieves you of this life. When I was so sick I was telling the Lord, "Well, Lord, I think I've made it‚ I've done enough now‚ I'm tired and I want to go home," and I thought I'd made it.

3. BUT IT'S OBVIOUS THE LORD HAD MORE LESSONS FOR ME TO LEARN, I haven't made it yet. So, praise the Lord! I've never really known anything like that. I was never on drugs for years or that sort of thing. I've drunk wine for quite a few years and had a few benders.

4. BUT I DON'T THINK I'VE EVER BEEN AS SEVERELY ILL AS THIS, and I'm sure it wouldn't have happened if I hadn't gotten discouraged. I wouldn't say I got my eyes entirely off the Lord, but I was certainly spending time looking at the waves.

5. IT WAS LIKE I WAS JUST TIRED OF LIVING AND FIGHTING. When you're my age then maybe you'll understand what I mean. I thought, "Lord, haven't I done enough, isn't this enough? I'm grooming others to take over, can't they do it now?"

6. BUT I GUESS THE LORD KNEW IT WASN'T ENOUGH. I had a few more lessons to learn so I could teach them to some other people. I was never able to understand or help drunks or bums or people like that much, I just didn't very understand them, I'd never been there.

7. BUT AFTER THAT DISCOURAGING PERIOD I've been through, I think maybe I'll understand almost anybody and I'll have more sympathy and be able to be more understanding with a lot of people I really couldn't understand before.

8. AT LEAST WE'VE GOTTEN SEVERAL LETTERS OUT OF IT already‚ but it was quite a price to pay for a MO Letter! PTL! I think that lesson on fasting the Lord gave us was one of the most valuable of all the things that the Lord has taught us.

9. I WAS NEVER MUCH FOR FASTING before. I sort of pooh-poohed fasting, but now you can see what it does.—How good it's been for me, and it did you good too, didn't it? Didn't it help you too? I have a feeling it's helped the family all around the world.

10. I NEVER WANTED TO BE AN INVALID and have people have to take care of me. Sometimes you know, the very thing we don't want is what God puts us through, because it's our pride. When I come to think of it now and I analyse it, why didn't I want to be an invalid?

11. MY FATHER HAD A STROKE when he was about 80-something, and after all, that's about time to start wearing out and getting ready to go. But he had a stroke and he was partly paralysed so he had to be helped in and out of bed and helped to the toilet and helped to dress and undress and could hardly speak except with great difficulty.

12. MY MOTHER AND A HELPER AND LITTLE 12-YEAR-OLD HO HELPED TO TAKE CARE OF HIM. Ho helped to take care of him for nearly a year or more along with a male nurse. But Ho was so cheerful about it, and would shave him and help him dress and help him get to his chair in the daytime.

13. DAD COULDN'T WALK OR TALK VERY MUCH, just barely, and Ho'd get him all settled in his chair in front of the television. My father's mind apparently was still fairly clear, but his speech was blurred and we had a very difficult time understanding him.

14. I COULD HAVE BEEN WORSE, girls, I could have been worse, and I almost was! I've never seen such love in my whole life as I have seen with these girls since I have been sick! I knew they loved me, but I have never ever seen such love manifested so beautifully!

15. WELL, I WAS A LITTLE ASHAMED OF MY FATHER, Lord forgive me, for having that stroke and being in such pitiful condition in the last few years of his life. But who knows, maybe he needed it to humble him like I think I needed this experience to humble me.

16. BUT ANYHOW, AFTER SEEING MY FATHER I THOUGHT, O GOD, DON'T EVER LET ME GET LIKE THAT, I never want to be helpless like that! I don't ever want to be ashamed or people to be ashamed of me, I'd just rather go real quick. Well, why?

17. BUT DAD'S ILLNESS BROUGHT OUT THE MOST BEAUTIFUL LOVE IN HO of anything I've ever seen!—A love and a sacrifice and a cheerfulness. He did it like it was pleasure, it was a joy!

18. JUST LIKE SOME OF THESE GIRLS have acted since I've been sick‚ like they loved it‚ they enjoyed waiting on me hand and foot and leading me to the bathroom‚ sitting me down on the toilet, one sitting beside me and the other sitting in front of me so I wouldn't fall off. Isn't that a pitiful sight?

19. WELL I'LL TELL YOU, IT'S ENOUGH TO HUMBLE YOU! Why didn't I want to be an invalid? Why? Because a it's very very humbling thing. I never realised before how strong I have been, not until this sickness.

20. I HAD NEVER REALISED HOW STRONG I WAS! I never thought I was very strong. But I now realise I have been a pretty strong man! Abrahim said one time‚ "Your father is very strong!"

21. I NEVER DREAMED I WAS SO STRONG UNTIL I WAS SO WEAK. As I've often said‚ you never appreciate health until you've been sick. Well, I've been sick a little bit off and on, but I don't ever remember a day I never got out of bed.

22. I REALLY THOUGHT THAT PEOPLE WHO LOVED AND TRUSTED THE LORD AND BELIEVED IN HEALING SHOULDN'T BE SICK, or at least not much. Certainly I didn't see much excuse for them being invalids. So I thought, Lord‚ how could You ever let me be an invalid?

23. I WANT YOU TO TAKE ME WHEN THE TIME COMES‚ probably a heart attack or something. I'll know it, and I'll just call the kids around and we'll say goodbye and whhsst, no problems. I never pictured myself one day ever having to have somebody help me go to the toilet, not one day!

24. I WOULD HAVE BEEN ASHAMED. Well, that's pride, right? It's really pride, to be ashamed—except sometimes when you need to be ashamed. I said to the girls one day recently when I began to feel a little bit better, I said,

25. "THE MOST FAMOUS QUOTATION to come out of this whole thing which you're probably going to remember more than anything else is: 'I gotta burp!'"—Because I'd always have to sit up quickly to burp to try to get the gas off or I would throw up.

26. THEY HAD TO HELP ME BURP, help me vomit, help me spit, just practically every little thing. It is amazing how many little tiny operations there are in just living one day. How many things you have to do.

27. IN THE MORNING, SOMETIMES DURING THE NIGHT, not only did you have to help me burp or spit or vomit, but also to get out of bed. You had to put my slippers on me, put my robe on me, and help me into the bathroom to the toilet, sit there and hold my head. I wasn't that far gone‚ girls, I remember.

28. I WILL NEVER FORGET! Anyhow, I never wanted to be an invalid, but I know what it's like now. That was the last straw. I managed to keep wiping myself at least until finally I started getting chest cramps from reaching back there and wiping.

29. I HAVEN'T HAD ANYBODY WIPE ME SINCE I WAS A BABY or a little kid, and Maria had to start wiping me—I'm just telling you all the gory details so you'll understand the lessons I've really had to learn, I think humbling lessons, humiliating lessons.

30. I THINK THAT WAS ALMOST THE LAST STRAW when Maria started having to wipe me! I think I could have boo-hooed, and I almost did. I thought, my God, how much more are You going to humiliate me? I mean even if we'd been alone it would have been alright, but right in front of all these women she's having to wipe me like a baby!

31. WELL, I'LL TELL YOU, IT WAS A HUMILIATING EXPERIENCE, but I think it was good for me. It must have been—"all thing work together for good to them that love the Lord" (Rom.8:28). And I guess I had plenty of pride left. I didn't realise I had any pride left, I think, until this happened.

32. BUT WHEN YOU BEGIN TO BE ASHAMED, the kind of shame because you're proud, then you realise you've got some pride left, when you're humiliated and ashamed because of pride. Well, I must have had plenty of pride left, because the Lord sure knocked me for a loop, or let me knock myself for a loop!

33. AND THEN HAVE TO HELP ME GET UP AND STAGGER BACK TO BED and get my robe off, my slippers off, back in bed again. I think about the only thing I never let them do, I don't know whether they did or not, is blow my nose, probably only because I don't think they could.

34. THEY DID ABOUT EVERYTHING ELSE.—Even tried to spoon feed me, but I think I still insisted on drinking it out of a cup at least. Well, I'm just saying all that to say this, that it's been good for my pride for one thing, and He's taught me a few lessons, and maybe a few I can teach others.

35. BUT I'LL TELL YOU, I think if it taught me anything in this world above all else, what do you think that it was?—That of course, above all, it's only the Lord. But of the things which happened upstairs in the bedroom, I think the thing that I learned the most was how much love these boys and girls have for me.

36. I DON'T THINK I EVER SAW SO MUCH LOVE as theirs, and their patience, their endurance and faith. I thought, my God, soon they'll get tried of this, bored, disgusted, fed up and figure, why not just go off and let this old geezer croak! But they never seemed to get tired of it.

37. THEY ACTED LIKE THEY ALMOST ENJOYED IT! The last couple days when I haven't had anybody have to help me to the toilet, their faces fell like they were really disappointed!

38. BUT I STILL NEED YOUR PRAYERS. My strength is growing day by day, thank the Lord, "As thy days, so shall thy strength be" (De.33:25)‚ amen? At least you've seen this old guy pull out of it, if nothing else.—I mean the Lord pulling me out of it‚ not me, I never could have made it.—I'd say you and the Lord.

39. I NEVER COULD HAVE MADE WITHOUT THE WAY THESE GIRLS TOOK CARE OF ME. Nobody ever had lovelier bodyguards‚ one sleeping one each side, and one at my feet on the floor. I felt like Boaz with Ruth sleeping at my feet.—And the boys helping me up and down and sleeping outside my door, on call night after night.

40. SO THANK THE LORD I'M STILL HERE‚ MUCH TO THE DISAPPOINTMENT OF THE ENEMY! I've been through some spiritual attacks during this time, direct demonic attacks such as I think I have never ever known in my whole life‚ which I may have to tell you some day, although some of you who have been on drugs and had bad trips know what they're like. But besides a lot of horrors I went through‚ which I don't like to dwell on‚

41. I ALSO HAD SOME OF THE SWEETEST AND MOST PRECIOUS EXPERIENCES OF MY LIFE. One of the sweetest occurred when I was just almost in the depths of it and thought I was really about finished.

42. IT WAS AT THAT TIME THAT I FELT A LITTLE HAND PATTING ME. Sometimes it patted me on the shoulder, sometimes it would pat me on the head, and I thought it was one of you sweet girls and I would startle and open my eyes quick and look around, but you'd all be sleeping soundly. It would sometimes pat my leg just a little bit, so sweet and soft.

43. THIS HAPPENED OFF AND ON FOR ABOUT THREE DAYS AND NIGHTS when I'd about hit bottom trying to pull out of it and I needed a lot of extra encouragement, mostly during the night when the girls were sleeping. My Lord, they couldn't stay awake all the time!

44. I'M TALKING ABOUT SOMETHING THAT I FELT, I didn't imagine, I wasn't dreaming‚ I was wide-awake! But every time I'd shut my eyes I'd start drifting a little bit like I was really going to maybe drift away and not come back. Sometimes you have that sinking feeling.

45. IT WAS ALMOST LIKE SHE WANTED TO REMIND ME, "STAY HERE, NOW DON'T WORRY." And when I would feel like I was all alone and they were all asleep and I was having to fight it out by myself, this little hand would pat me. Just when I needed it most, when I felt the most alone in the dark of the night.

46. SOME OF THOSE NIGHTS I FELT LIKE THE OLD SONG, "OH GOD, YOU MADE THE NIGHTS TOO LONG!" (Weeps) He didn't, don't misunderstand me, but that's the way I felt. I thought some of those nights would never end. If you've ever heard any invalid testify at all, that's what most of them say.

47. PEOPLE CAN'T STAY AWAKE WITH YOU FOREVER, and there are bound to be times in the night when you feel alone. I knew the Lord was there, but I really felt this time, one of the few times in my life, that He was there as an angry Father chastising His errant child, and I really didn't feel like I was getting much sympathy from the Lord, and I didn't deserve it.

48. I FELT LIKE HE WAS REALLY ANGRY WITH ME, like a lot of people feel about God all the time. That He was sternly watching me suffering like, "Son, you're getting just what you deserve, now just take it, take it."

49. I KEPT THINKING, "LORD, HOW LONG? How come? How long? I can't take it much longer!" I just didn't realise, a lot of the time I just thought I couldn't make it, but I guess the Lord knew I could or He would help me through.

50. I'LL TELL YOU, THOSE NIGHTS! I NEVER EVER FELT ANYTHING SO ALONE!—In spite of all these girls help and lots of encouragement. They were really a blessing and I would have died without them. If I'd even bat my eyes‚ they'd wake right up to see what I needed.

51. BUT YOU CAN'T HOLD YOUR EYES OPEN ALL THE TIME to keep them awake. I'd turn and roll and toss and try to sleep sometimes. And those times when I felt the need of the most encouragement‚ when I was lowest and the most lonely, I felt this little pat to encourage me, like‚

52. "COME ON, PULL OUT OF IT‚ YOU CAN MAKE IT!" I mean who could disappoint a little child? That really gave me inspiration. I didn't want to disappoint you either‚ of course‚ but you know it's especially difficult to disappoint a little child.

53. THAT'S ONE REASON YOU'VE GOT A REVOLUTION, I DIDN'T WANT TO DISAPPOINT THIS LITTLE CHILD MARIA. It's the truth! So finally I desperately prayed‚ "Lord, please let me know who it is!"—And this time I felt a little pat on my foot down at the foot of the bed and I opened my eyes and—

54. RIGHT AT THE CORNER OF THE BED WAS THIS LITTLE GIRL (David weeps) in a pretty white dress, this cute little white pinafore, typical little girl dress, standing there smiling at me!

55. SHE WAS ABOUT SEVEN YEARS OF AGE, and though not a word was said, I had the distinct impression that it was Techi, the same child who came to me before when I was sick in Madrid, the little girl the Lord has promised to Maria, Davidito's little sister.

56. I FIRST MET HER IN THE MADRID APARTMENT when I was so sick there. I kept hearing her mother reading her the story of Davidito in the next room‚ but when I'd open my eyes Maria was sound asleep beside me! When I'd close them again the reading would resume!

57. FINALLY I ASKED THE LORD, "WHAT IS THIS?"—And suddenly this cute little girl walked in from the next room and up to my bed and smiled and said, "My name is Techi! I'm five years old! I'm Davidito's little sister!"—And she smiled again and walked out!

58. SHE WAS JUST AS CLEAR AS YOU ARE!—And I could hear her mother resume reading Davidito's story to her in the next room!—Although Maria was still sound asleep by my side! How the Lord does it I don't know! She isn't even born yet!

59. HOW CAN GOD DO THAT IF SHE'S NOT EVEN CONCEIVED OR BORN YET? Of course you know, in eternity there is no time, and how even in science they talk about time warps and time overlaps and déjà vu, and this sort of thing.

60. WELL, AFTER ALL, WHEN THE PROPHETS WERE TAKEN UP INTO THE HEAVENS AND SAW THE FUTURE, IT HADN'T HAPPENED YET! But they saw it just like it was happening, and it was just like I was seeing her. And that was the sweetest thing, just like the Lord had let her come to comfort me, and that little pat was so reassuring.

61. IT MUST HAVE HAPPENED SCORES AND SCORES OF TIMES. You talk about the Lord doing miracles to try to encourage you, it made me really know the Lord was with me and made me want to come back and made me decide I had to pull through. So here I am, praise the Lord!—Thanks to the Lord and thanks to you!

62. SUCH LITTLE THINGS YOU DO, LORD, THAT'RE PLENTY BIG ENOUGH FOR US! It may have been a small thing for You to do to send her to comfort me and to pat me every now and then and stand around my bed and encourage me. But in the darkest hours of the night, Lord, when even others were asleep, and I felt so alone, she helped me to know that I wasn't alone, someone cared and loved me. TYJ!

63. LORD, SURELY ALL OF THESE HAVE SHOWN ME THAT THEY CARE AND LOVE ME, and they never left me alone, not once, Lord, but they couldn't stay awake every minute. But just to show, Lord, Your love and Your precious comforting Spirit, and Your faithfulness, Lord, she was Your love and she was Your faithfulness and she was Your comfort to me‚ as well as all of these, Lord.

64. BUT STILL LORD, SURELY WE COULDN'T GIVE HER AS MUCH CREDIT AS THESE WHO HAVE STOOD BY ME ALL DAY AND ALL NIGHT‚ gone with me to the toilet and fed me and done everything they could for me. We thank Thee for these most of all‚ who have been so sacrificial and so loving and so cheerful about it‚ Lord, such cheerful givers.

65. "THE LORD LOVETH A CHEERFUL GIVER" (2Cor.9:7)‚ and they have given and given and given so cheerfully. Thank You Jesus! Praise You Lord! Hallelujah! So we thank You‚ Lord, for Your miracle-working power, thank You for Your greatness, Lord, that is far surpassing anything any of us have.

66. ONCE AGAIN YOU'RE SHOWING, LORD, THAT WE'RE NOTHING AND YOU'RE EVERYTHING‚ that we're just mere lumps, clods of clay, just flesh, and we merely "have this treasure in earthen vessels that the excellency of the power may be of God and not of us" (2Cor.4:7). You have certainly demonstrated this to the Family, Lord!

67. WHAT A CLOD OF CLAY I AM AND HOW NOTHING I AM! You've proven to them, Lord, that it's only You that has done everything that has been done, and proven again mostly Lord to me that it's only been You and to show me what a clod of clay I am! Praise You Jesus! Thank You Lord!

68. HELP THEM TO KEEP THEIR EYES ON YOU‚ JESUS, AND NOT ON ME. Hallelujah! Thank You Jesus! Praise You Lord! We used to have an old song, "Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face, and the things of Earth shall grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace." Hallelujah! Thank You Jesus!

69. LORD, AS ONCE AGAIN WE PRAY THIS PRAYER which has so much in it, Lord, which shows it's all You, the prayer that You taught us to pray. (Prays together the Lord's prayer.)

70. HIS IS ALL THE POWER AND ALL THE GLORY, AMEN? Amen, when things like this happen to you, you sure feel like forgiving others more for their sins, amen?

71. SOMETIMES THE FAMILY'S BEEN PRETTY HARD ON BACKSLIDERS, hard on those who've slipped and fallen. They've smoked a little grass or they've gone back a little bit on this or that and the Family's been so hard!

72. LORD HELP US TO BE MORE LOVING, MORE FORGIVING. My Lord, if they can forgive me for this, surely they can forgive anybody! Help us to be more loving, more forgiving, more patient, more kind to each other, in Jesus' name we ask for Thy glory.

73. BLESS AND KEEP THESE LITTLE ONES. Thank You for how You've marvelously kept them through this ordeal!—Loyal, faithful, loving, they didn't get disgusted and desert me, Lord, but they stayed by my side and saw me through. Even the boys, Lord, stayed faithful and kept things going. Thank You Jesus! Bless them all for it, Lord.

74. NOW MAY WE ALL HAVE LEARNED A LESSON and be better for it, Lord, be more humble, more patient, more loving, more kind‚ more forgiving‚ more longsuffering‚ with each other, Lord, in Jesus' name we ask for Thy glory. Amen.

75. I'M SORRY, I DIDN'T MEAN TO TELL YOU SUCH A LONG STORY, and I didn't meant to emphasise so much about Techi, but the supernatural and miraculous always of course impresses so much.

76. REALLY, MORE SUPERNATURAL‚ MORE MIRACULOUS WAS THE LOVE THAT YOU HAVE HAD FOR ME while I've been so sick. PTL? I'm back! I hope! For awhile at least! TYJ! Hallelujah! So they don't even have to help me get up anymore, help me put my stuff on anymore. ... They keep trying but I don't need it anymore. PTL! Hallelujah!

77. THANKS FOR YOUR PRAYERS!—THEY WORKED! I'm alive again! I feel like the Prodigal Son in Luk.15:24: "For this my son was dead and is alive again!" PTL!—And I certainly felt like a prodigal! I suffered for my sins! But praise God He forgave me and restored me again!—Thanks to your prayers! ILY! I'm yours—and His!