Taking appreciation a step further

48. (Mama: ) Most of us don't have too much trouble appreciating those we live with for the physical things they do. Although we could do better in this, and we certainly should, the point I'm making is that appreciating things we see people do is often easier than appreciating them for the deeper things, the spiritual things. It's not too difficult to remember to thank the cook for the meal they prepared, and to appreciate them and tell them how yummy it was. (Although I'd venture to say that some of you could definitely stand to improve in the area of simple appreciation of this kind, because you often forget to verbalize your appreciation in this way.)

49. But in this next message the Lord talks about going deeper with our appreciation. There are things that we can appreciate others for, over and above the jobs they do or the ministries they take care of in the Home. We can show appreciation for physical things, of course—the way they look, something they're wearing‚ or the fact that they smell pleasant. And we can also appreciate others for spiritual things, and make note of the things we notice that they're strong in, as well as the sacrifices and good choices and decisions we see them make.

50. There's so much that we can appreciate others for, but it takes effort on our parts. We have to get closer to people, talk to them more, find out about their preferences, likes, dislikes‚ history, things they're going through, etc. We need to try and expand our "appreciation horizons‚" and not stick to appreciating others for what we've always appreciated them for, or just the things that are simple and noticeable. It means so much to people when someone takes an interest in them, notices unique and special things about them, and takes appreciation to a deeper level.

51. (Jesus:) Most people can expend the effort needed in appreciating a person on a more "surface" or superficial level for the job they do and what they contribute to a Home. Feeling fulfilled in your ministry or job and knowing that you contribute in a worthwhile way to the running of your Home is part of feeling appreciated, but I want to address something a little different here.

52. I need you to learn a deeper, more heartfelt appreciation for each person, and not just for what they do. Deep, heartfelt, sincere appreciation and love is the real glue in forming "families" of winning teams. It goes deeper than just once in a while verbally appreciating what a person does, although that's a part of appreciation.

53. The kind of appreciation and love I'm majoring on here is founded on the spirit, on forming deep bonds of love, trust‚ respect and mutual admiration and appreciation, regardless of what a person does.—Brotherly love, in other words, which is what the weapon of brotherhood is all about.

54. This means you must get to know each person. That takes effort. It takes work, and most of all it takes a sincere desire and awareness that this is an essential part of forming a winning team. You have to want to understand them, to want to look into each person's soul and spirit with genuine interest, and then love and accept them for who and what they are—unconditionally.

55. After all, isn't that what true brothers and sisters within a flesh family do? No matter what, that tie that binds you—the flesh, in the case of a flesh family—will never be broken. You'll always be family. Ideally, I want the tie that binds flesh brothers and sisters strongly together within our Family to be translated to the greater Family. It is possible to have that same degree of love for your greater Family that you have for your flesh family, because I saw that love and that bond alive and real within My disciples and My early followers.—The kind of love in which one would truly lay down his life for others if need be.

56. "By this shall all men know that you are My disciples, if you have love one toward another" (John 13:35). That's why you're creating winning teams: to win the lost. And an important first ingredient is having love and appreciation one toward another. That's the beacon that will win others and draw them to Me.

57. This is not just about the "airy, fairy" kind of love that has no practical applications. I want to encourage you that there are practical pointers, tips, and aids in helping you to manifest more love and appreciation for your brothers and sisters. As you seek Me, you'll no doubt come up with many of your own ideas and initiatives, but one of the first and most important ways to get started is in making a point to get to know your brothers and sisters.

58. Get to know their likes and dislikes, what means a lot to them and what they appreciate the most, even in the little things. When you're aware of what things matter to people—even little things—you're then better able to make it easy for others to be good, to make allowances for their weaknesses or struggles, and in turn, build on and use their strengths. This goes a long way toward helping that person to feel you really care about them. After all, you've taken the time and trouble needed to get to know them.

59. Once you're aware of these personal things‚ then if I open the door and the opportunity arises, you'll be able to do something for that person that really matters to them, something they really enjoy, or give them something they particularly like‚ or include them in some activity or outing or fellowship, so that they truly feel part of the "family." There are all sorts of ways and opportunities to help someone feel loved, needed, and an important part of your Home's "family" unit.

60. More often than not, it's the little ways—those day-by–day little ways—that go a long way in sending the strong signal that you care. It shows that you've taken the time to connect with the person and to get to know what that person appreciates and needs in order to feel part of you and your life—part of a real "family."

Don't use appreciation as just a precursor to instruction

61. (Mama: ) A problem that some people have is that they only appreciate or encourage someone before they're going to say something negative to them or give them some instruction. It's always good to encourage and appreciate others, especially if you're pointing out something that they did that bugged you, or hurt you, or that you noticed was a little "off," but that shouldn't be the only time you appreciate other people. If that's the case, then any time you appreciate someone, they'll know it's a precursor to some instruction you're going to give them, and the appreciation doesn't make them look forward to it.

62. I'm not saying you shouldn't appreciate others before or during times when you're talking about a problem, but if that's the only time you express appreciation, that's definitely wrong. You should appreciate others as often as you can, with no strings attached. Appreciate always. Then if you ever do appreciate someone in connection with other communication, it will be much more easily accepted, because they'll know you're sincere, since you appreciate them regularly at other times.

63. (Dad: ) A problem that sometimes comes up is that some people only convey appreciation when they have to correct another member of the Home, and that often gives people the wrong perspective on appreciation, making it a preliminary to correction or instruction. That's not how it should be at all; appreciation should be a backbone element of your Home.

64. Having faith and trust in people‚ showing appreciation, commending individuals for the work they do‚ and being much quicker to appreciate than to correct—all of these things are like the oil that keeps the engine of your Home running smoothly. When you take time to extol another's virtues, it softens their heart toward you; it makes them more open to receive other input you may have for them later.

Secondhand appreciation

65. (Mama:) We need to make more of a point to tell people the good things that we hear others say about them behind their backs, because it can mean so much to them. I've found that people often think the appreciation is more sincere, too, if it's been said behind their back—not that they should think this way‚ but they very often do.

66. For example‚ if there's a girl in your Home who doesn't think she's pretty at all, and you say to her personally, "I think you're so pretty, Mary‚" there's a good chance she might take what you say with a grain of salt, or even disregard it completely—she shouldn't, but unfortunately that's often the case. But then if you were to go up to that same girl and recount something you had heard‚ such as, "You know, Mary, the other day when I was talking with Jane, she was mentioning how beautiful she thinks you are," you'd probably have much more success. Mary might actually believe that someone thinks she's pretty. It would have a much bigger impact on her.

67. Let's make it a habit to pass on the sweet things that people say about others behind their back, shall we?

68. (Jesus:) There's something extra special about finding out that someone was appreciating you, talking kindly about you, or complimenting you behind your back. Has that ever happened to you? If it has, you know exactly what I'm talking about. When you hear via someone else that another person was speaking well of you, it does wonders for your self-esteem; it gives you a boost that not many other things can.

69. Sometimes, being human as you are‚ it's a temptation to think that if someone appreciates you or compliments you to your face, maybe they're just trying to make you feel good, or they're just being "loving" but not completely honest, or they're exaggerating a bit, or they have ulterior motives. I'm not saying this is a good way to react, but the Enemy can sometimes tempt you to draw wrong conclusions like this, especially if you have a weakness with negativity.

70. But when you hear appreciation secondhand, it's nearly impossible to brush it off. You know the person wouldn't have had ulterior motives; they said what they said knowing that you would probably never hear it or know about it. They weren't just trying to make you feel good; they were stating something that they believe to others. The Enemy has a lot less leeway to try and discredit the sincerity of the compliment or appreciation.

71. When someone speaks badly and gossips about you behind your back, there's almost nothing worse. It hurts; it discourages; it is destructive. But when someone speaks kindly about you‚ appreciates you, and has complimentary things to say about you behind your back, there's almost nothing better. It makes you feel good; it encourages you; it builds up your spirit and makes you feel loved. Everyone wants to know and feel that those they live and work with think well of them, and words fitly spoken behind someone else's back are like "apples of gold in pictures of silver"—in other words, priceless (Pro.25:11).

72. So, if you're ever in a conversation and you hear someone say something kind about someone else, make it a point to tell that person what you heard. Write it down if you have to, so you won't forget. That little morsel of encouragement and appreciation might be just what that person needs to brighten their day or to help them through a rough time in their life. Remember it and pass it on.

Practical tips for appreciating others

73. (Mama: ) After studying the preceding counsel, you should be raring to go! I pray that you're eager to make appreciation more a part of your personal life and your Home. To help you along, here are some more practical tips from Dad to get you started.

74. (Dad: ) How do you make appreciation more a part of your Home? It's not as hard as you think, but it does require shedding some pride. That might make you squirm a little‚ but letting go of a little pride never hurt anyone for too long! Ha!

75. Here are some simple practical tips to help you to learn the art of appreciation and make it more of a habit:

76. —Greet people in your Home, especially in the morning when you first see them. Even if it's just a simple, "Good morning, Phil" or "Hi‚ Tammy! Did you sleep well?"—a greeting like that sends the message that you notice the person and you pay attention to them.

77. —Affection is another form of appreciation, whether it's a hug, a pat on the back, a touch, or a stroke. Affection conveys a message of warmth and love, a feeling of comfort around each other.

78. —If someone does something well, openly commend them for it. Give the Lord the credit at the same time, but don't fail to praise the person too, appreciating them for their gifts and talents and how they contribute to the Home.

79. —Show appreciation for the little things‚ such as thanking someone for washing the dishes, putting the children to bed‚ making dinner, cleaning the bathroom or living room, etc. If they do a good job, emphasize that: "Jan, you do such a good job of keeping the living room clean and neat."

80. —Appreciate everyone, adults, teens, and children alike. Children need praise and recognition as much as adults and teens do, and vice versa.

81. —Have Home activities that focus on strengthening your bonds of brotherhood; take time to appreciate and praise each other. Pick names out of a hat, and thank the Lord for something specific about that person, whether it's a talent or gift; comment on a physical attribute that makes them stand out or be attractive; highlight a spiritual contribution that they make to the Home, and the positive effect it has; appreciate them for their ministry in the Home and what you'd lack if they weren't a part of the Home. And don't stop there!

82. —Get to know people. When you don't really know someone, as in knowing more about the person inside, you don't always have the love and respect for them that they deserve. So get to know each other. Talk together, have get-togethers where you share things about yourselves. It doesn't always have to be deep secrets; even generic topics about your family and background‚ or personal likes and dislikes, help you get to know a person better. You learn more about them, and your respect and love for them usually grows. You could exercise with someone, and as you're walking or jogging‚ use the chance to get to know them better.

83. —Praise the Lord for others. Praise is a formula for positiveness. When you're praising the Lord, it's a lot harder to notice flaws and so much easier to see the good, so praise the Lord for those you live and work with.

The cycle of love and appreciation

84. (Mama:) No matter what has held you back from dishing out sincere and regular appreciation in the past, you can change. You can begin today to enhance and aid others to achieve topnotch service to the Lord through simple acts and words of love and appreciation. When you think about it, it's amazing that something as simple as appreciation, which we're all very capable of‚ can have such major positive repercussions.

85. If we all make an effort and take small steps together, being more appreciative will become more a part of our nature. It will also fill our Homes, enhancing the power of our love and unity, making us a better sample to the world and more effective witnessers. More appreciation within our Homes translates into more love, and love is the most powerful force in the world!

86. (Jesus:) Think "enlarge" and "expand" when it comes to truly loving and appreciating others. That means enlarging the borders of your personal tent—which includes your own immediate family—to include others. Of course, you need quality time with your spouse and children, or your friends or those you're closer to, but this time should never be to the neglect and exclusion of others on a regular basis.

87. All this will require stretching. Depending on how much you've already been exercising these muscles of including and appreciating others in a true "family" spirit, it may hurt. But I promise you that all the love, appreciation‚ and "expending" you personally do toward building a strong family spirit within your Home will come back to you.

88. Learning to be more appreciative will require stretching, but with that stretching you will in turn reap great love and great benefits. You will be fulfilling the prophecy I gave in which each of you, as you pour faithfully and unselfishly into others' love cups, will in turn find your own love cup full to the brim and running over! (See ML #2985:33-34, Lifelines 22.) It's a wonderful cycle of love and true brotherly appreciation, which will reap great, great rewards—here and now!

89. That's the kind of brotherly love that forms winning teams. And in turn those winning teams will stand out in the midst of a darkening world, winning many to Me!

Talk About It: Optional discussion questions

• Brainstorm new, cool, and different ways to admire or appreciate others' strengths, abilities, ministries, talents, gifts, etc., without using age-old sayings like, "You're such a good …" or "You're so good at…" Think about new phrases that you can use to kick off appreciation, such as, "It's so awesome when you…" or "I wish I was more like you‚ because you…"—and you'll probably think of many more.

• Pick a name of someone in the Home from a hat, and have as many people as possible in the room fill in the blanks of the following sentence (then continue with the rest of the Home members): "If ____ [name of any person in Home] were my brother/sister/husband/wife/daughter/son [whichever is most applicable to the person], I would probably include them in ____ [list whatever activities/projects/anything that you would consider doing with them if they were in your immediate family]." This helps you to realize situations and occasions in which you should be inviting others more into your life and time, because you are all one Family, One Wife.

• Pick a name of someone in the Home from a hat, and have as many people as possible in the room fill in the blanks of the following sentence (then continue picking names out of the hat until everyone has had a chance to be appreciated): "If _____ [name of any person in Home] left our Home tomorrow and we had no replacement for him/her, what wouldn't get done, how would that affect me personally, how would that affect our Home overall, what would I miss the most about him/her?" All these things are things you should already be appreciating and thanking that person for. This is a good check to see if you have been faithful with your appreciation.

• Talk about what type of appreciation you value the most and why. For example‚ do you prefer compliments and appreciation about your appearance, or a personality trait, or your work, or an accomplishment, or a talent‚ or a spiritual gift?

• Discuss what makes it difficult for you to give appreciation to others, and have prayer to overcome the hindrance.

Praise Ideas: Optional praise ideas

• "In his shoes" praise: Put everyone's name in a hat or bowl. Pass it around and each person picks a name. Each person will begin by saying whose name they picked‚ and then putting on one piece of that person's clothes, accessories or jewelry. For example, say Jane picks Peter's name. She will put on one item of his clothing—it can be his shoes, his hat, his sweater‚ his shirt, his vest‚ his pants‚ or whatever Peter is willing to take off. Then, with Jane in Peter's "shoes‚" she will praise the Lord for something she really admires, appreciates, or loves about Peter. Then the next person will do the same. (Each person can return the borrowed item after they complete their praise, so that they don't have to wear it for the entire duration of the praise time.)

• "As if" praise: Everyone can pick a Home member's name from a hat, and keep it a secret who they picked. Then someone will begin by praising the Lord for something about the person whose name they drew, as if they were that person. For example, John picks Mary's name. John wants to praise the Lord for her ability to take care of kids, but will praise as if he is Mary. He'd say something like, "Thank You‚ Jesus, for the gift You've given me of caring for the children and training them!" And everyone can try to guess whose name he picked. Then it will go on to the next person, and the next. (Note: It may be a little odd to praise the Lord for something like Mary's humility, as if you were her‚ as that would come out like, "Thank You, Jesus, that You've made me so humble!"—Ha! Or, if you're a male and you're praising the Lord for how pretty Mary is, that might also come out a bit wrong. So think through your praise before speaking, to avoid embarrassment.)

• First letter appreciation: Go around the room and call out each person's name, and then praise the Lord in popcorn style for a few things that "fit" that person‚ but that also start with the same letter as their name. For example, for "Christopher" you could say things like "crazy faith‚" "caring," and "calm spirit." This is not as easy as it might seem‚ so leave the floor open for at least a minute or so, for people to be able to come up with more than just a couple of the most obvious ones. (Note: If someone in the group has a name that starts with a less common letter of the alphabet, and you have a hard time coming up with praises that start with that letter, then just move to the second letter of their name, or even use the end letter of their name if that's easier.)

"Do" the Word: Optional practical ways to be "doers of the Word"

• Each day, pray about and secretly choose one person in the Home whom you want to sincerely appreciate. Then it's your duty to find genuine qualities or things they've done that day which you appreciate, and to tell them so. You can do this until you've dedicated one day to each person in your Home, and then pray and ask the Lord for a new idea to keep up the progress you're making.

• You shouldn't let a day go by that you haven't appreciated at least one person in your Home. Your Home can make a united push on it, to provide more of an incentive. You can each pick a name of a Home member, and then each day of the week, write down one thing for the day that you genuinely appreciated about the person whose name you picked. You can either give them this write-up at the end of each day, or you can compile your list and give it to the person at the end of the week. This will greatly encourage each of you to know that others do notice you and appreciate the part you play in the Home.

• Pick one person, or a couple of people, whom you want to include during your free day and do something together with. Try to pick someone you don't usually hang out with or know that well, someone whom you may even have a hard time getting close to. Draw them into your circle of friendship and enjoy their fellowship. Then thank them for spending that time with you, and this will do wonders for your unity, your interactions with that person, and your love and appreciation for them, as well as theirs for you.

• Try some of these appreciation questions during a Home meeting or activity:

— Name a Letter or GN that made you feel encouraged or appreciated, and explain why.

— If you were with _____ [fill in with name of a Home member] in a dangerous and scary situation [such as in prison, or lost in a forest at night], what is something you'd appreciate about him or her that would specifically help you?

— Which fruit of the Spirit do you feel that _____ [fill in with name of a Home member] manifests most obviously, and why?

— What's something about _______ [fill in with name of a Home member] that would make him/her a good husband/wife (even if they're not presently a husband or wife)? [For example, "I think that Sam would make a good husband because he's an excellent cook, and that would add spice to a marriage."]

— In what way does _________ [fill in with name of a Home member] encourage you?

• Have some "personnel" parties over a period of time. Cater the party to people who hold a certain ministry in your Home. There could be a dinner they like and some kind of appreciation time afterwards that would be specifically related to what they do. It wouldn't need to be a big thing, but it would remind everyone that their Home might not work as well without the specific ministries that "so-and-so" and "so-and-so" have a part in. It would also help people to value their ministry when they see that others appreciate and recognize what an important part of the Home it is.

• Organize specific appreciations for the various age groups. For example: To appreciate the children, organize a special outing or a nice snack; the young people can organize a special evening in the FGAs' honor, and vice versa; appreciate your teens by organizing a movie out for them; appreciate the teachers by giving them an extra day off. There are a huge variety of ways you could do this‚ but the idea is that doing special things to show appreciation to a specific group of people in the Home is encouraging to the individuals, and it engenders unity as each one appreciates the other for all that they contribute.

Anecdote

One day the letters of the alphabet got together and decided to vote someone off the keyboard.

"It's too crowded here," said A, who was quite sure of his place, being a major vowel. "I suggest we kick some of these rarely used letters off and things will be more spacious for all of us, not to mention that it will be easier for people to learn to type because there will be fewer of us to learn."

"Let's start with Z," said P, happy to shift the focus down to the opposite end. "He could easily be replaced by S for everything he needs to do."

So they gave Z the boot and tried it. It went fine at first, but no one knew what to make of "soo" or "quis," and "jass" just wasn't the same. Plus S got more work and his key started to stick a little. He, in fact‚ asked if they could bring back Z, which they all agreed to do.

Undaunted, however, they tried replacing C with K, but words like "khew" just didn't work, and they had no better luck ditching Q. True, Q was not as busy as the rest of them, but she filled a niche with her friend U (who left in anger when Q left) and made words like "queen" that "keen" just couldn't make up for.

Even haughty A took his blows when they turned on him in frustration, trying to substitute o for him. Maybe "opple" could pass‚ but when "that" turned to "thot," there was a lot of confusion.

No one knows for sure who solved the conflict‚ but it's rumored that Spacebar was the first to suggest that they were all practically indispensable. Sure, some carried more of a load than others, but each had his place‚ and to try to make do without anyone only increased their work, as holes were left that none could adequately fill.

However it happened, they agreed to leave the keyboard intact—much to the relief of Backspace and Spellcheck.

Hot Key: ESP

90. (Jesus:) Call on the key of ESP and My extrasensory perception power will help you to perceive My anointing upon others. As you claim the ESP key, your spiritual and physical sight will be opened to see others' qualities and skills. Their training will come to light; their abilities to do the job; their talents that fill in for your lacks. You'll not only see with extrasensory sight, but you'll learn to appreciate your teammates and you will become more aware that you can't do the job without their help.

Prayer Boost

91. (Prayer: ) Thank You that we are so richly blessed. We not only have so much to praise and thank You for—all of the many blessings You daily bestow upon us—but we also have so much to thank and appreciate others for. We have brothers and sisters who we can trust, count on, and grow to be better disciples with. We live with people who we know are sincere, who love You, and who we know won't cheat us or con us. We're so blessed, unlike those in the world who hardly know who to trust.

92. Our brothers and sisters are loving and kind‚ sacrificial and giving, faithful and loyal, hard-working and dedicated, and so much more. Within our Family we have excellent cooks, professional teachers and caregivers‚ anointed drivers‚ skilled handymen, efficient office workers, amazing shepherds, outgoing witnessers, smart businessmen and women, artistic interior decorators, and so much more! We have so much to appreciate in each other, so please help us to do that more, dearest Jesus.

93. Give us a keen eye for the good qualities in those we live with. Help us to focus more on the positive than the negative. Help us to see past the surface and to look deeper. And when we notice things, help us not to be too proud or lazy to say something, to appreciate, to show our thankfulness and gratitude. Help us to overcome whatever is holding us back from giving generous amounts of sincere appreciation to those we live and work with.

94. We call on the key of ESP, which You promised will give us extrasensory perception power to help us to see the good in others and learn to appreciate them more. We call on any spirit helpers that You can give to aid us in this area. Send the Elixir of Love to give us an outgoing love and concern for others, and the desire to express the good we see in our teammates every day. We rebuke Pride, or Lethargy, and anything else that would hold us back from being active appreciators.

95. We claim through the power of the keys that our Home will begin to overflow with a spirit of appreciation. We want our Home to be filled with love and kind thoughts and words and actions. So please change each of us so that we can be new creatures, so that we can do our part to have an appreciation revolution.

Pithy Proverbs

Appreciation is like coffee. It refreshes, inspires, and spurs you into action.

If you want to be a motivator, you must first be an appreciator.

Just as there is no substitute for oxygen, there is no substitute for a kind word.

Appreciation is like breathing—a necessity.

If you want to draw others into your life, you must first extend the invitation: appreciation.

If you want the "flower" of your Home to blossom, be generous with the "water" of appreciation you pour upon it.

Never allow yourself to grow familiar with the awesome uniqueness of the people around you. It is in cherishing their individual traits and talents‚ and helping them to make the best use of them, that you enrich your own life.

There's a saying‚ "Tell her she's beautiful and she'll be beautiful." Well, apply it!

Appreciation not only benefits the recipient; it also magnifies the giver.

Make appreciation like the beat of your heart—automatic.

VARIETY

The Brief

96. (Mama:) Winning teams know that having a variety of people within a Home is not a handicap but an asset. They see the variety in personalities, ages, marital status, nationalities, likes and dislikes, and all the things that make each person unique as a blessing, not a burden. They realize that the Lord has created their Home with variety for a reason‚ and they know that it aids them in being winners. The Family is made up of the younger and the older, the weaker and the stronger, but we're all in the same boat together.

97. Members of winning Homes embrace the differences in others, knowing that it's those differences that make their Home fun, balanced, and one of a kind. They realize what a blessing it is to live with disciples who are different than they are, because life would be boring if everyone were the same. They try to work together well, appreciate the uniqueness of every individual, and dovetail to create a strong team that Jesus can use to the full.

Pointers for Winning Teams

Variety makes a well-rounded team

98. It's important for winning teams to consist of a variety of different personalities, with different gifts and talents. It makes for a well-rounded team. It's a good thing, not a bad thing.

99. We need to get away from looking at differences—in personality‚ age, background, marital status, etc.—as handicaps. We need to see these differences as the wonderful blessing they are. Just as a tapestry is not made up of all the same color strands, neither is a well-balanced Home made up of all of the same type of people. You need all types to make a beautiful picture.

100. The best Homes are those that are filled with variety, and that includes young people, older people, children‚ married people, single people, males and females. When you give the Lord a lot of variety to work with, He can create a masterpiece of your Home.

101. (Jesus:) A lot of people who accomplished great things in the world, and great things for Me, didn't necessarily think they had great personalities, and neither did those around them. In fact‚ many of the greats were considered a bit odd, eccentric, too young or too old or too radical. They often didn't fit the mold, but they were talented‚ skilled, and accomplished what they set out to accomplish.

102. I created all the personalities in the world‚ and I use all kinds of people to do My will. Some are odd characters, and some may not be your favorite type of personality. Maybe they're too bold or too shy, too corny or too serious‚ but because they love Me and have dedicated their lives to Me, I will use them greatly.

103. Don't base your decision on who you will work with on their personality; that would be a very poor way to judge who I choose to anoint. Personality is not that important when it comes to a person's ability to be prayerful, to be wise and spirit-led, to be committed and to uphold the standard. Look beyond personality and see My anointing upon them; see their potential to be a good Home member.

104. Remember that some of the oddest characters in history were the people I chose and anointed to do great things. If you pass someone up based purely on their personality, you could be losing out on a very valuable member of your Home. Then another Home will get the benefit and the blessing of their contribution. Everyone has something to offer, even if it's not something obviously "great," like the great men and women I mentioned. It doesn't always mean you have to do great things to be great and to be in the center of My will.

105. So don't evaluate people by what you think they should be like or how you think they should act. Each person is unique; I made them that way, quirks and all. And remember, you have quirks, too, that everyone else in your Home has to live with. Personality differences are for a good reason‚ and that is to provide variety, different ideas or outlooks on situations, varied approaches to problems, different interests, and different talents in order to do all of the jobs.

106. If everyone in the Home was exactly the same and had the same personality, it would be very samey. It would border on being boring, without the spice and variety and newness that each personality brings to the Home. Sometimes the oddest characters are the people who make the biggest difference in other people's lives. They leave the most lasting impression of My love, because they know they are nothing without Me, and they lean on Me and give Me all the glory.

107. Don't limit your Home to only young people because you think they are the ones who can get the most done, because then you will miss out on the wisdom and maturity of the older generation. Don't limit your team to only go–getter types because you think they're the only ones bold enough to reach the top, to witness and raise funds, because then you'll miss out on the quality, in-depth ideas of the shier types.

108. You need variety in age and personalities to make a well–rounded team. You need those who will contribute the talents and skills peculiar to them. So when choosing someone to join your Home, look at their heart, their love and dedication, their willingness to learn and work together with others.

Don't judge value by contributions

109. (Mama: ) Whatever you do, dear Family, don't judge the value of a Home member by their contributions. For example, there are a lot of Family members who are getting older and can't carry as heavy a load as they used to. And there are single parents who, to the carnal way of looking at things, bring more work than help to the Home, especially if they have a number of children. And then there are the children themselves, who create more work than they carry.

110. If you're looking at things through the eyes of the flesh, you won't want to invite anyone to your Home who isn't fit as a fiddle and able to carry a heavy load. But that's definitely not the Lord's way. He wants you to look deeper, to see the wonderful benefits you will gain if you open your arms to receive that single parent, or that large family, or that FGA who is battling with afflictions.

111. He wants you to look further than what that person contributes in the physical, to see things in the spirit—the strength or balance that person will bring to your Home, the maturity and prayerfulness of that FGA, the life and fun and spark that those children will bless your lives and Home with, or perhaps the extra blessings your Home will receive for putting the needs of others before your own.

112. (Jesus: ) I want to take this opportunity to talk about something that brings grief to My heart. Oftentimes, Home personnel are judged or labeled by how much they can contribute to the Home, or the support they can bring in. Instead of looking on people as those who love Me and want to serve Me‚ they are looked upon as a commodity and judged by how much they can help bring in financially.

113. This is especially true in the case of FGAs who are older and slowing down, those who have a chronic illness, single parents, large families, or a family with a handicapped child, etc. These people are often looked upon as liabilities instead of assets, because for various reasons they are not going to be able to physically contribute as much as someone who is healthy or young or single, or as much as a young couple with few children. However, My loves, the Family is not made of only singles, or couples with few children.

114. There is a place for all My brides to serve Me in the capacity they wish, but it is going to mean sacrifice on the part of others in order for it to work. I have told you many times in My Word and in many ways that I bless sacrifice. When you sacrifice for another‚ you both benefit. Maybe that person who is ill and needs extra care can't go out on the streets every day getting out Activated and raising support, but they can be a prayer warrior, make provisioning calls, and minister to the sheep through the mail.

115. Maybe that single mom with kids has to stay at home to teach and train her young ones, but she is making an investment in them and in the future, so that they in turn will grow up to be disciples for Me. That single mom may not be able to get out every day witnessing or raising support, but her children's friendly smiles and warm hugs can win over your sheep and cause them to want to give to and support the work. Maybe that FGA has to get extra rest and eat special foods, but he or she has years of wisdom and knowledge from serving Me and is a good counselor and guide in decision making.

116. As well, having those in your Home who need a little extra care, or who can't pull a full load as well as someone else, teaches you to have compassion‚ understanding‚ mercy, love, unselfishness, and to go the extra mile. It also gives Me an avenue to do the miracles needed to either compensate for that person not being able to carry a full load, or to supply their special needs. It causes others to have to carry a bit of an extra load, but with that sacrifice I am well pleased, and it causes Me to shower even more blessings upon them and upon their Home.

117. Everyone has something to contribute, and My brides need to stop judging their mates by how much they can do for the Home physically or materially, and start looking at some of the other contributions they can make, especially spiritually, as assets as well. A Home cannot always be judged by how well they are doing in the physical. You may have a nice, big house‚ many sheep, Activated shiners, lots of provisioning contacts‚ and a one-month financial buffer. But if you are snubbing those who are weaker or need extra care, help or attention, or refuse to share your abundance with those who are in need, or have the room but don't want to take in someone who needs extra care and attention, then you are no better than the priest and the Levite who passed by the poor man on the road to Jericho (Luke 10:30-37).

118. Each one in My Family is valuable to Me, each one is needed, but unfortunately many have been left feeling discouraged, frustrated‚ and forsaken because they have not been able to find people who are willing to work with them. A "winning team" is not a team only made up of strong, able-bodied, energetic, problem-free people. A winning team comprises those who work together‚ who are loving, giving, yielded, compassionate, kind, tender-hearted, unselfish and sacrificial. I look on the heart, My loves, and not on the outward appearance.

119. Are you following Me and My will as you put your team together, hearing from Me step by step and being willing to give and sacrifice to form the team I want you to have? Or are you only interested in money and stats and comfort and convenience? What will it be? The choice is yours!

Variety is fun

120. (Mama:) There are definitely obstacles to overcome in a Home with all kinds of different personalities. You need to learn to get to know one another‚ to understand what makes each other tick, to learn how to work with others, and sometimes there can be friction along the way as you iron out the kinks. But setting the problems aside, which are pretty insignificant in the big picture, having variety can be a lot of fun!

121. It can be a blast to promote an atmosphere of individuality and variety in your Home, within godly bounds, of course. If you're fighting against the fact that everyone is different by trying to make those you live with think like you, do things like you, or agree with you on everything, then that's a big bummer. But if you embrace the uniqueness of everyone in the Home‚ realize that everyone is different, thinks differently, and likes different things, then you'll be able to enjoy yourselves together and have a whole world of fun.

122. Don't squelch the fire‚ ideas, or inspirations of those in your Home, even if they seem wacky. It's part of the Lord's plan for Homes to have such variety, within His will. And the best part about having such variety in your Home, and enjoying it, is that when individuals feel free to be themselves and not be conformed to a mold, they're happier. Thus your whole Home will be happier.

123. (Jesus:) Everyone has their differences‚ their oddities, although some may be more pronounced than others. The goal is not to get everyone to be the same‚ to put everyone in the same little mold or box. Rather, the goal is to learn to love and accept each other the way you are, while progressing and moving forward in the spirit‚ and find ways to join together to accomplish the plan I have for you. Of course, I'm not referring to serious spiritual problems‚ unyieldedness, and attacks of the Enemy, but other personality traits that merit love and acceptance.

124. Think of each person on your team, yourself included, as a piece of a beautiful puzzle. If the puzzle is joined together correctly‚ with the proper pieces interlocking at the proper junctions and in the right way, then a complete picture is formed.

Dealing with differences

125. (Mama:) After reading the preceding messages, you should be convinced of the need to have variety in your Home‚ and know that it's a good thing. But maybe you're wondering about that person (or few people) in your Home who rubs you the wrong way. Maybe your personalities don't jibe, or they're much older or younger than you and you don't understand them, or they're a member of the opposite sex and their ways puzzle you, or they're a different nationality or speak a different language than you do, and this is difficult for you, or you find them a little odd for any number of reasons—and, who knows, they may feel the same way about you!

126. Every person is different, with backgrounds, personalities, and even idiosyncrasies and other things that make them unique, and even difficult to get along with at times. But the key in relating to and working with people is to ask the Lord how you should look at things. Ask Him: "How should I look at the specific personality traits or idiosyncrasies that this person has?" Sometimes it's something that the Lord has given a person as a specific weakness that will always keep them humble before Him and others. Sometimes it's to keep you humble, because you're not just loving those who are easy for you to love; reaching out to others in love is humbling. Sometimes it's to teach you lessons of patience and understanding.

127. Our Husband loves each of us, His brides, in spite of the weaknesses He has given us to balance out our strengths, or even the things that are a part of our nature. So it's important to praise Him for that person in your Home who has weaknesses or idiosyncrasies that bother you—whether it's because they're older or younger than you‚ or for whatever other reasons—because if they were perfect, they'd be much more difficult for you to live with. Also, realize that they're also putting up with you and may find you just as difficult to live with because you're different than they are.

128. Learn to see others the way the Lord does‚ with the same love, understanding, and patience that He has for them, knowing that there's a good chance that they—or others—are manifesting a lot of love and understanding and patience by living with you and putting up with all your eccentricities, problems and differences. And thank the Lord that He also uses the situation to keep you close to Him, able to relate to others, and flexible.

129. There will be times when you'll live with someone you consider odd, or whose personality is as far from yours as night is from day‚ or who you just don't understand or like. But you still need to learn to love and accept them. They're a part of your winning team, and their contributions to the Home make it what it is. The Lord loves them and accepts them, and so should you. When you have an attitude of acceptance and understanding of those you live with, an attitude that acknowledges their personality and differences‚ and yet is tolerant and willing to love them regardless, then you are becoming more like Jesus.

130. (Jesus:) It helps to keep in mind that everyone is different—even you. Some people might seem more different to you than others, or their personality or history or age or background make it more of a challenge for you to get along, and while this may test your patience and you might wish they would be easier to understand and work with, remember that those people also help to keep you humble and lowly in your own eyes. Those who you have a hard time living or working with humble you because they remind you that you need Me and My love. You don't have enough love within yourself; your own love falls short.

131. If you have someone in your Home whom you find eccentric and odd, simply because they're different than the way you are, remember the type of people I personally chose to work with when I was on Earth. Peter was impetuous and eccentric; James and John, "the sons of thunder," were rash and sometimes angry; Mary Magdalene was in the flesh; Thomas had a skeptical streak; Judas was materialistic; and many of the prophets that My Father called for important purposes were considered eccentric and odd.

132. If I've put someone in your Home who you can't figure out or understand because of their personality traits, or because they're different than you are and you feel you can't relate to them as well as you can to others, remember that I understand them perfectly. They love Me and are dedicated to My will and My calling for them, just as you are. They are motivated by love for Me, and this is what keeps them going through the good times and the tough times. Their desire to please Me is what keeps them inspired and causes them to work hard.

133. Remember that just because you consider someone's personality a bit odd, that doesn't mean they don't have to fight the same battles you do‚ the same battles everyone else does. They still have to get desperate in prayer before Me and call on their spirit helpers and the power of the keys to help them to fight their battles. They have spiritual battles and are under attack by the Enemy every day of their lives, and in some cases, the battles are even more intense and difficult for them because they think you consider them odd or different, or they think you don't like them—people can sense it, you know. Many times they not only have to fight the Enemy's typical attacks‚ but they have to fight their own private battles because you have made them feel ostracized.

134. Love and understanding aren't just for the people that you like or whom you work well with. It's not reserved only for the people you choose to be loving and understanding toward. The keys of love and understanding are even more important for those you don't particularly like or understand. If someone in your Home has a personality trait that rubs you the wrong way, don't try to ignore it or brush it off; seek Me for the key to your working relationship with that person. Don't let a wall be built between you that will hinder your working relationship and the fruitfulness of your Home. Personality traits are not impossible to understand—age, sex, backgrounds, and other barriers are not insurmountable—and if you seek Me for the love and understanding you need, I will give it to you.

135. Come to Me for step–by-step counsel and I will show you exactly how to interact with people. I will give you the specific communication tips you need that will help you to understand each other. Talk with your Home shepherds for additional input and counsel. Resist the temptation to look at someone as a thorn in your flesh. Don't allow yourself to think that "if they only weren't in our Home, everything would be okay." Resist the Enemy's spin on things that makes you feel that certain people are a burden and a weight. Remember that I allow these situations and these very people to help teach and train you to become what I want you to be.

136. All of those in your Home are My brides. Even if you feel that they are odd in some ways, their sacrifices and battle wounds and their love for Me are very precious in My sight. Ask Me for the love you need. Call on the power of the keys for the anointing, understanding, and whatever you need to help you to see those you have a difficult time getting along with through eyes of faith. Call on the keys of positiveness to help you to appreciate their gifts and talents to the full, and to be thankful for them. Resist the Enemy's negative spin that will only drain you of your faith and the blessings that come from walking in a spirit of faith and treating others with the respect, love, and understanding that each person deserves.

The purpose of strengths and weaknesses

137. (Mama:) It's very important, as the Lord said above‚ to "resist the Enemy's spin on things that makes you feel that certain people are a burden and a weight." Sometimes we think certain people might be a burden or weight because of their weaknesses. But it's important to remember that your Home would not be as effective if everyone had the same strengths. Creating a Home of people with similar strengths and weaknesses will do more harm than good in the long run.

138. (Jesus:) Having a well–balanced Home is not achieved by gathering a group of individuals who all think alike, who have the same strengths and weaknesses‚ or who react similarly. You might feel like you have an effective Home, with a reasonable amount of unity, because there might be fewer clashes or problems. But just because the members of your team tend to be alike in many ways, you won't necessarily have a balanced Home, and you could miss out on the deep kind of unity that is forged through living and working with a variety of individuals.

139. It's similar to a marriage. I seldom if ever put together a man and woman who are so alike. In fact, I frequently put together couples who are opposites in many ways. I do this so that the husband and wife can lend each other their strengths. If the wife has a stronger gift of prophecy than the husband‚ I will use the wife to encourage the husband in his gift. If the husband is more soft-spoken and less pushy than the wife, then I will use his strength of humility to help the wife to grow and change and progress.

140. It's the same in a Home. I allow—and even encourage—you to work together with those who have different strengths and weaknesses. I do this so that each person can use their strengths to benefit their teammates. The goal is that the one who is stronger in an area will humbly and lovingly encourage his teammates to grow in that way—not in a pushy, forceful way, but in My Spirit.

141. When you have a strength in a certain area, you're not to lord it over others, but to humbly lift them up and be the support they need. You need to see your abilities and strengths as tools for encouraging another's faith to step out and grow. And when you see strengths in others, you should learn and benefit from them, rather than resent them because you're not as strong in that area. Learn to tap into the strengths of others to enhance your life.

142. Weak areas or inadequacies that people have are not weights and burdens. Weak areas are potentially strong areas; they should be seen as challenges. So don't dismiss someone from your Home, or not even consider bringing them into your winning team, because of the weaknesses you see in them. Those weaknesses might be turned into their greatest strengths in time, as they receive loving shepherding, and as you live and work together in love and humility, helping to lift one another up instead of putting each other down.

143. Everybody has weaknesses. Everybody has strengths. But I did not give you your strengths so that you could glory in them, so that you could lift yourself up—and put down others who don't have that same strength. I gave you your strengths so that you could humbly and lovingly support others. I want your strengths to lift others up, not to make them feel incompetent or inadequate.

144. Every strength that you possess is for the purpose of benefiting others, benefiting your team. And every weakness can be turned into a strength as you depend on Me and My powerful keys, and tap into the support and help of others.

Don't impose your preferences on others

145. (Mama: ) It's very important to the happiness of Home members to be able to exercise their individuality, within the guidelines of the Word, and it's equally important that everyone is able to operate according to their own faith in personal matters. But imposing your personal likes, dislikes, preferences, and ways of doing things on others is not the way to go, and will only bring division, discontentment, and unhappiness to your Home.

146. For example‚ this often happens with recreational preferences. Of course, everyone has different likes when it comes to what they do for recreation. Some people like to spend time in the great outdoors. Others like to sleep. Others like to cook and eat. Others like to fellowship and "chill." Others like to watch movies or read a book. And just because you might happen to like to go hiking when you have time off doesn't mean that you should try to convert everyone in the Home to your preference, or condemn the guy who likes to sleep for being lazy.

147. Or don't put down the fact that someone in the Home likes to play a computer game when they take time off, just because you don't. If they're operating within the guidelines of the Word, then it is okay that they engage in this kind of variety in preferences. Don't pooh-pooh someone else's preferences or likes or dislikes or ways of doing things because it's not your personal cup of tea. People's likes and dislikes vary considerably in a number of areas—including entertainment, food, fun, dress styles, etc.—and as long as what they're doing is according to the Word and within the standards and guidelines you have agreed on as a Home, then it's fine.

148. Don't try to put people in your "box." It won't go over well and will just create problems and a lack of unity. Accept others for the way they are and the things they like, without trying to push your program on them.

149. (Jesus:) I give you a huge amount of leeway when it comes to things like preferences, ways of doing things, ways of dressing, and things you like to do for fun. I don't force people into a mold, so don't you be guilty of it either. I have given you your preferences and the things you like and the way you like to do things, and I have given others preferences and things they like and ways they like to do things. It's a part of the way I made you—different!

150. Don't self-righteously think that what you like is the best‚ or the way you do things is the best way, or the things you choose to do for fun are more wholesome than what someone else chooses to do. Maybe what you do is best for you, but might not be best for the other person. So trust that I have given them their desires, and that I'm speaking to them about the things they do, and unless something is against the Word or the Charter, then just zip your lip. Embrace the differences! Be happy about them. Support your fellow Home members in the things they like, even if you don't feel the same personally.

151. Expand your horizons a bit. Realize that there's a whole world of things that others enjoy that maybe you aren't keen on. But that's the fun of life—that everyone is different, that no two people are the same. I take pleasure in the variety, and I would like you to do the same. Appreciate the uniqueness of others. Praise Me for the similarities and the differences. But whatever you do, don't impose your preferences—or the way you think things ought to be—on others. Trust Me, it's not My will and it won't make anyone happy.

More on variety

152. (Mama: ) For the last message on this topic, and for a bit more variety, here's a short and interesting message from our Husband on variety. Ha! Thank You, Jesus, for variety and all its benefits!

153. (Jesus:) There's so much variety in life that makes living interesting. There's variety in the colors of a rainbow. There's variety in seasons. There's variety in the types of fruits and vegetables I've created. There's variety in skin color, eye color‚ and hair color. There's variety in nationalities. There's variety in countries and climates. There's variety in many of the things that you enjoy and that make you happy.

154. Variety makes you happy. Variety is a fact of life. Variety is cool. Variety keeps things from getting dull, boring, or routine. Variety shakes up the applecart. Variety keeps you from getting old and rigid; it keeps you young in spirit. Variety keeps you revolutionary. Variety is a human need. Variety is something that I created for a reason.

155. Variety will help to make your Home better‚ happier, and more balanced. So embrace variety in all its forms—variety in personnel, in preferences, in ages, in nationalities, in spiritual qualities, in talents and gifts, and so much more. Then your Home will be colorful, lively‚ fun, happening, out–of-the-ordinary, and most importantly, it will be more fruitful and successful in My service.