Are You a Delinquent Parent?

ML #3388, GN 984

1. (Mama:) The serious state of our undisciplined children and the negative effect they're having on others was highlighted in "Keep Fighting!—Conviction vs. Compromise, Part 6." (See ML #3366, GN 969.) Parents having different disciplinary standards is the cause of much disunity. Well-behaved children are being corrupted in spirit by undisciplined kids, some of whom are so rebellious and worldly that they've become rotten apples, spoiling many others.

2. I want to address these issues more in depth. While I will talk somewhat about our children‚ the counsel the Lord has is mostly about and to you parents.

3. This GN clearly defines why parents being lenient or overindulgent is a problem. It will also clarify some "absolutes" on child-rearing. Also, some common erroneous mindsets are exposed and the right ones are confirmed.

Do Not Accept The Enemy's Condemnation!

4. "Problem parents" is not an easy subject to address, because there is the very strong possibility that you parents who have had children leave the Family will fall under the condemnation of the Enemy. You'll blame yourself and attribute your children's decisions to leave the Lord's service in the Family to your own failures as parents—your lack of consistent discipline, being too lenient, being too self-righteous, not spending enough time with them, not understanding them, not praying for them enough, allowing them to fall in with bad company, or not motivating them to get out witnessing and thereby learn what being a missionary is all about. I'm sure the list is nearly endless of possible "failures" and reasons why you parents will feel justified in blaming yourselves for your children's decisions that make you sad.

5. Whenever one of your kids leaves the Family, there's heartbreak. If they leave because they don't like the lifestyle‚ you wonder what you could have done to help them like it. If they leave because they want a boyfriend or girlfriend‚ higher education, a regular paying job, their own car, etc., then you wonder how you failed in passing on the Lord's values and messages about what's truly important in life—or more accurately‚ in the life beyond. If they're not interested in witnessing or are more into sports or fashion or whatever, you wonder if their apparent shallowness is a reflection of you. As a parent, you want them to be happy—although you wish they could be happy in the Family. But you also wonder how they could have so completely turned against your lifestyle, your values, the Letters, a love for the lost, and everything you brought them up to hold dear.

6. Earlier GNs explain in detail when you parents are or are not responsible for your children leaving the Family. The Letter "The Silver Lining" (ML #3166, GN 762-763/Lifelines 24) provides a good review on the subject. I suggest you reread that.

7. Another point to keep in mind is that good training and parenting of your children is not just for the purpose or goal of keeping them in the Family. They are better prepared to meet life—no matter what decisions they make—if they have a foundation in self–discipline, unselfishness and obedience. Once they come of age, they have to decide what they're going to do with their lives, so I don't want you parents with kids who have left the Family falling into the trap of the Enemy's condemnation‚ concluding across the board that it's because you failed as parents.

8. In spite of the risk that some people might misinterpret this counsel, I still need to highlight some serious problems with the present mentality of many parents. The Lord makes it very clear that some of you parents are failing your children by refusing to give them the discipline they need. These messages are strong and hard-hitting, and they don't offer much comfort for those of you who have already suffered by seeing your children leave the Family. In order to help you parents who have children out of the Family read this GN in the right frame of mind, I want to share a message that I pray will help you to dispel the Enemy's condemnation.

9. Remember, it is wrong to accept the condemnation of the Enemy! Condemnation is never of the Lord. No matter what the circumstances, and no matter how bad you might feel about your children's state or the decisions they've made or what you feel are your own failures in the matter, it's not right for you to take upon yourself the condemnation of the Enemy! It's one thing to be motivated to pray, communicate, and do better with your children. That's good. But to accept the condemnation of the Enemy that makes you want to give up, that takes away your faith that the Lord loves you and wants to bless you, and that gives you that hopeless sick feeling in your heart and spirit is wrong!

10. I pray that this first message will help you go into the reading of the rest of this GN series in the right attitude. But please promise me that if you feel the Enemy's sickening, heavy blanket of condemnation creeping over you, you'll stop right then and rebuke him in the power of the keys! Do not accept it! Entertaining the Devil's condemnation is not going to help anyone or anything!

11. If you have questions about the upbringing of your children, the decisions some of them have made, or what your lacks or failures were in the big picture, please ask the Lord. But only do so as a learning experience, so you can do better today, and so you can right any possible wrongs with your kids and renew the fellowship‚ trust and love between you.

12. The thrust of this GN is how to help the children you parents are still raising, those you still have in your daily care now. We're not talking about those who have left the Family, whom you have little influence over, except through your prayers and occasional contact. Of course we know you want to help them too and provide whatever support and assistance you can. Some are doing well and some aren't, just like many kids who are still in the Family. But our focus in this Letter is on the children that you are presently raising, the ones you're teaching and training daily. There is real potential in this arena for lives to be changed and turned around. Even problem kids can be helped and salvaged. Those are the ones we want to focus our attention on right now.

13. But to do that‚ I have to talk about some evil trends and attitudes that have taken root in the Family. It's very easy to take this counsel and apply it across the board, including to past situations, and that's why you parents whose children have left the Family are likely to really get hit with feeling sad and extremely discouraged. This is a tender topic, and I know there's potential for some parents to misinterpret this counsel. I don't want that to happen.

14. So we brought the following questions to the Lord: If a parent is or has been delinquent, if their child leaves the Lord's service in the Family, will He hold the parent responsible? How much is the child, if he is of age‚ held responsible for his own decisions, regardless of the lacks in his upbringing and training? What about that concept that rotten-apple kids are the fruit of delinquent parents? What about parents who seem to be faithful and diligent, and yet some or many of their kids are either really naughty and rebellious, or they have left the Family for one reason or another, perhaps because they felt they weren't cut out for it?

15. (Jesus speaking:) There is not a just man upon the Earth that does good and sins not. For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God, and even a just man often falls. There is none righteous, no, not one. Nobody is perfect, and so in some ways your life may seem to be a string of mistakes. There is not one parent who can raise his kids perfectly, simply because man is what I made him: imperfect without Me. This is so that man's righteousness cannot get the credit, but rather so that I can get the glory; otherwise man would take the credit to himself and would not need Me.

16. So there is no parent that is perfect or that has raised his children perfectly. But there are delinquent parents who‚ when they should have learned from their mistakes and made progress, took a different stand. For My Word says, "Chasten your son while there is hope, and let not your soul spare for his crying." This means that there is a definite time when the parent should chasten even if the child is crying. Parents who have taken a stand or operated outside of this precept have simply been delinquent in using the full counsel of the Word in their children's upbringing.

17. It doesn't mean to be angry, harsh, or to actually harm your children, of course; it simply means to correct with firmness, appropriate firmness, enough to correct the problem. If parents haven't applied enough firmness to correct the problem and thus the problem persists year after year, age after age‚ child after child‚ then they are delinquent in administering My counsel. They have chosen another way—often because they don't want to go through the pain they feel in their hearts when they have to discipline their children. This is delinquency.

18. "He that spares the rod spoils the child." If the child is delinquent and is showing attitudes that are not of Me, such as anger, hatred, extreme pride, unloving behavior, stubbornness, whatever the problem is that is born in the heart of a child—if the parents don't take measures to correct these problems, then they are simply being delinquent, having chosen to operate and handle their children in their own ways, which will not bear the fruit I intended.

19. So in some ways‚ the way the child grows has to do with the training, correction and discipline that are administered during the growing stages. Now as I've said, no parent is perfect and all have fallen short, but it is one thing to "fall short" and another to be "delinquent." Delinquency is when the parents have decided not to follow My counsel, and it is usually a result of choosing to be lenient in times when firmness would bring forth the proper fruit.

20. But there comes a time in every child's life that, regardless of whether he had delinquent training or not, he becomes responsible for his choices. A parent cannot force a child to obey. A parent can lead, discipline consistently, set boundaries‚ show understanding, compassion, and love, but eventually that child grows up and comes to a point where he is going to make decisions for himself. A child may find it easier to make the decision to follow Me if he has had better training and better samples, better role models. But even the children of some of the best role models have decided not to follow Me, and, conversely, the children of not-so-good role models have decided to follow Me. Why is that? It's because I have given man free choice—absolutely free choice—and there is a point where every person makes a decision or a series of decisions on which way he is going with his life.

21. The fact is that even if the parents have been delinquent, the children have still been exposed to the Family, they basically know what it is all about and what it stands for, they have been exposed to lots of My Word, they have seen many samples or know of or have heard of samples of Family missionaries. So even if they grew up stubborn or coddled and without the benefit of "tough love" when it was needed, they have still been shown the door to full–time discipleship, and whether they walk through that door is up to them.

22. There is a point where the parents can no longer be held responsible. The parents are simply responsible to provide the best training they can, to show the best sample they can, but then the child is completely free to make his or her choice. And that choice is not the responsibility of the parents, regardless of whether they were delinquent.

23. A delinquent parent may simply make it harder in the long run for his child, because the child‚ as a result of the delinquent training, has further to bend, more to yield to Me to follow in My footsteps. He has a longer way to go. Yet he has still seen the way and it is still very possible for him to make the choice to follow. Remember, I accept a man not according to that which he has not, but rather that which he has. And if a man has a willing heart‚ I will get him over absolutely any obstacle.

24. Look at yourselves! Haven't you all overcome many great obstacles in your lives? What about your training? Most FGAs were brought up in the System, and most were far from My training. And yet you came to a point where you were able to make the complete 180-degree turnaround, the revolution in your lives that it took to forsake all that you knew and to pick up your cross and follow Me. It's no different with your children. The decision to follow Me is a decision to sacrifice yourself, and that decision belongs to the child. If the child has not been trained to sacrifice himself, then he will not be used to giving Me his life, and when the point of decision comes, he may find it harder to yield himself up to Me.

25. The concept that rotten-apple kids are the fruit of delinquent parents has some truth to it, for he that spares the rod, spoils or makes rotten the child. But that doesn't mean that the child still doesn't have a big head start over children brought up outside of the Family. That child is still without excuse deep in his heart. Do you think that when that child stands before Me that he will have any more excuse for not following Me than you have? Of course not! If anything, he will have much less of an excuse than you, having been brought up in the midst of the sanctuary of My presence, in the midst of My missionaries.

26. So though delinquent parents might produce rotten-apple kids to a certain extent, still the ultimate responsibility rests on the child himself for his ultimate decisions. The child cannot really in all truth lay the blame at the parents' feet. If anything, the child should lay the credit at the parents' feet for whatever they were able to do with him.

27. "Taking the blame" is one of the hardest things to do, and when a person passes from childhood to adulthood‚ at that point in time he must accept the responsibility for his decisions‚ regardless of the circumstances. That is part of what adulthood is all about, and in fact, that is one of the measures of adulthood—how much a person takes the responsibility for his own life. If a person lays the blame on his parents for his state in life‚ he has remained a child to a certain extent, or at least has not grown into full adulthood regardless of age, for full adulthood also means full responsibility. One who does not take this responsibility for his life simply does not take on full adulthood. He continues to blame others; he has not humbled himself to accept responsibility for his own life.

28. So once a person starts making his own choices in life, he cannot really, in truth, blame his parents anymore. He is making the choices. Regardless of whether his parents brought him up well or were somewhat negligent, the child still has the full ability to reach out to Me for My help. My hands are always extended and ready to get you over any hurdle. But if a person does not reach out to Me, I can't help much‚ for it must be his choice. I have the power that is needed in any situation, but if the person doesn't reach out to Me to grasp that power, that help, he simply is not availing himself of all that he could. That is his responsibility, and that is his choice.

29. There are two types of parents to look at in this scenario that we are talking about. There are those parents who try to discipline consistently and try to uphold My standard and My Word, and though they make mistakes and sometimes fail, they are going in the direction of upholding My standard. Then there are those who are not trying to uphold the full counsel, who have made exceptions to the full standard. This is how you tell whether a parent is delinquent or not. Both fall short‚ but one is trying to uphold the standard even in his imperfection, while the other has simply let the standard fall to the ground. But in either case, the child eventually comes to a point of decision himself. And though the parent may want to take the blame or feel he has to take the blame for the child's choices, nevertheless, in the long run it is the child whom I hold responsible for his choices.

30. So if you as a parent have tried to uphold the standard and My full counsel, though you have made mistakes, and maybe at times have even dropped the standard, but then have picked it back up and enforced it again, I would not call you delinquent parents. And if your children have left, you should not take the blame. You have done what you could. Even perhaps if you couldn't do as much as you would have liked or couldn't give your children the time you feel you should have given them because of your work for Me, still, though you may want to take some blame for this, the bottom line is that your children have had some of the best samples in their lives of any children in the world. No, you are not responsible. They have seen the message, and the ultimate responsibility is theirs. They also know that no man or woman is perfect, and to demand a certain amount of perfection from you is simply an attempt to relieve themselves from their responsibility for their own lives.

31. You who have dropped the standard, who have not believed the standard was best for whatever reason, still, your kids have come of age just as you did in the past‚ yet with much more on their side than you had as far as making the decision to follow Me or not. Though you may have dropped the standard, it is not My will for you to condemn yourselves. It is never My will for you to condemn yourselves. There is none perfect, and even without perfection I can do miracles if there is a willing heart.

32. Your children have tasted of the Family, and whether you brought them up "right" or not, they have still had such an opportunity to follow Me that the blame cannot truly be laid at your feet. "He is of age, let him decide." Sure, other children of other parents may have had it easier to decide because of their training, yet still some of them chose not to follow, so you cannot put the full blame on the training or lack thereof. The ultimate responsibility is the child's. And any person who cannot take full responsibility for his life regardless of his circumstances simply has not taken on full adulthood. Taking the blame, taking responsibility, is adulthood.

33. Any thought that threatens your service for Me is simply not of Me, and it is not My will for you to be dragged down or hindered in your service to Me by thoughts of remorse or failure. For once a person is remorseful, once he has recognized his possible failure and is sorry, I immediately come to him and forgive, and I take his hand and say‚ "Come, let's walk together into the light of a brighter day." I do not hold your sins and failures, or even shortcomings, against you. But you know who does? Yes, the Enemy of your soul who does not want you to walk on. I am the lover of your soul, I ask you to forgive and forget. He asks you to remember and to blame yourself.

34. So in either case‚ those parents who have done well, yet their children left, or those who have not followed the standard fully and whose children have left, I ask you all to come, follow Me. Leave your children's choices in their hands, for the responsibility is now theirs. "Only one life, 'twill soon be past." Give Me what you can of the rest of your life, for in the end, I am able to bring victory out of seeming defeat, beauty out of ashes, and to make all things work together for your good. And I will. (End of message from Jesus.)

35. (Mama:) I hope the Lord's perspective will be a comfort and I pray it will dispel the Enemy's condemnation once and for all. There are also two key points of instruction that we need to concentrate on.

36. First, note the definition of a delinquent parent. The Lord is not looking for perfection. That's impossible. Delinquent parents are those who have deliberately chosen another standard of child training and discipline than what is put forth in God's Word. Delinquent parents are those who haven't disciplined their children with proper firmness, often because they can't stand the pain they feel when they have to discipline their children. Delinquent parents are lenient and overly permissive.

37. The second point, and this is extremely important: While all of our children will eventually have to take responsibility for their own decisions, regardless of how diligent their parents have or have not been, and all our children have the advantage of having seen the sample of the overall Family, those who receive proper discipline and training will have an easier time making the decision to serve the Lord full–time as His dropped-out disciple.

38. By improving the disciplinary standard in the Family‚ we are not only working to keep our Family children and young people from being contaminated by kids who have gone astray spiritually and are possibly even entertaining evil spirits‚ but we also want to make it as easy as possible for our children to decide to serve the Lord full-time when they come of age. You parents can't make their decisions for them, and you can't force them to serve the Lord, but you can give them the advantage of good training and a disciplined life. You can help them along their way.

39. Dad said in "Keep Fighting!—Conviction vs. Compromise, Part 6" that sadly some kids are already too far gone to be salvaged, but that many can still be helped! (ML #3366:79-80). Let's remember that! Many can still be helped! That's what this series is all about, salvaging those kids who have problems and are not growing spiritually as they should, but who can be won and helped. While we as parents will not be blamed for the decisions our kids make when they come of age, that doesn't mean that we can just abdicate our responsibilities as parents. That doesn't mean that what we do as parents doesn't matter. That doesn't mean that we won't be blessed according to our faithfulness with our kids. The Lord still wants us to do everything we can to be the sample we need to be‚ to give our kids the foundation in the Word that they need, to protect them from the evils of the world, to help them be a good influence on others, etc. In order to do that, many of you parents need to make some big changes in your personal lives and attitudes.

40. This is an important follow-up to the "Conviction versus Compromise" series, because often your own compromises and sins are what cause you to lose the faith to expect what you should from your children. You feel like a hypocrite expecting adherence to the Word and Charter from them if you're compromising and disobedient yourself!

41. Peter and I pray desperately that the counsel in this series helps to shine the Lord's spotlight of conviction and truth in your hearts, and that you'll have the courage and humility to admit where you've gotten off track and to cry out to the Lord desperately, in the power of the keys, for victories.

What Is the Root of the Problem?

42. Now we'll go on to the Lord's insight on parents who aren't disciplining their children. I want to make it clear that when we talk about discipline of children, it is according to the standards and guidelines in the "Family Discipline Guidelines" Letter (ML #2919, Lifelines 21) and the Charter. I'm not by any stretch of the imagination promoting harsh, unloving treatment of children. That is wrong! Peter and I do not agree with or promote unkind, mean, angry, erratic‚ hurtful, or forceful discipline of children or young people! I do not want to see a backlash in which you parents or other adults "get tough" in anger and frustration, which would only make your children more rebellious and possibly even fearful and bitter. What we need is consistent, loving discipline, according to the wise counsel already given in the Word. We're not changing the standard; we're just asking that you parents uphold it.

43. To begin to see where you might be off track, it's important to be aware of the main disobediences or sins that have caused so many parents to become delinquent parents. We were aware of specific bad habits and wrong attitudes that many parents have, but I felt there must surely be some spiritual cause or root behind this very widespread problem. Here is the Lord's insight on this.

Compromise and Lethargy

44. (Jesus speaking: ) Essentially, the root of the problem is compromise and lethargy. And unfortunately, just as compromise has seeped into many areas of people's spiritual lives and walk with Me, so it has been the hole in the dike which allowed the Enemy's lies, worldly attitudes and mindsets to seep into the very important area of rearing and raising children within My Endtime Family.

45. Many Family members have allowed their minds, eyes and ears to be infected with the Enemy's propaganda‚ attitudes and mindsets when it comes to raising children. Many parents have looked more to current worldly leanings, writings‚ theories, teachings and philosophies on raising children than to My Word, teachings and standard. They've listened more to worldly counselors, and even System relatives and parents, than to My voice, My written Word, My elders and My veteran parents‚ from whom they could learn much.

46. The evil demon of lethargy has lulled many into a sleepy stupor when it comes to child training, causing them to be short-sighted in vision; weak‚ indecisive‚ wishy-washy, lacking the strength to train the children aright, and specifically to discipline their children when needed. Because of lethargy, many lack the strength and the perseverance to follow through when it comes to discipline.

47. Raising children requires hard work, much sacrifice, unconditional love, long hours, prayer, seeking Me, talking and reasoning with children‚ explaining My principles and values to them, and pouring into them. A key factor in training and raising children is consistency of training and discipline in order for your efforts to be rewarded. Lethargy and its companion, laziness, have stolen the strength of consistency in discipline from many parents. Their desire and vision to follow through with consistent discipline has slowly ebbed away.

48. Because the parents' sample has been weakened and watered down through compromise—and they know it—they lack the faith to be firm with their own children. Little disobediences are the by-product of compromise and lethargy‚ and have become the "cigars" in the way of the parents' connection with Me. [See ML #604:1-3.] These "cigars" of disobedience have caused the parents to waver and lack faith to uphold My standard when it comes time to discipline their own children, for they know they're not hitting the mark in many areas of their own lives.

49. They haven't looked to Me for the answers, nor to the written Word on the subject of child training, but they've looked more readily to the standard of the world and the many unhealthy worldly attitudes on raising children, which the Enemy fosters and feeds the masses.

50. No longer have they separated themselves in this way from the world, but have allowed their minds and hearts to be swayed in the wrong direction—toward leniency and a fuzzy‚ undefined form of discipline and standard. They've chosen to walk down the broad road the world has paved for child-rearing; the road that has no clearly defined borders or boundaries; the road that leads away from godliness and Christian behavior, and instead toward waywardness‚ "anything goes," the "let kids be kids" mindset, "let them be, they'll learn eventually," unruliness, lack of self-control, unhappiness‚ and eventual destruction. This is the road the Devil is paving very carefully for the children of the world, for slowly he seeks to secure them soundly as his—children who have no morals and no standards, and whose parents have no control, power or authority over them.

51. The Enemy has duped the world into believing that discipline—and especially any form of physical discipline like moderate reasonable spanking or even swatting—is detrimental and harmful in every way to the child's mental and emotional growth. This is a very powerful damaging lie, which has now become firmly entrenched in the world, and unfortunately‚ many of the young parents within the Family have also fallen for this lie. The Enemy has made the parents of the world afraid to discipline their children. They don't want to alienate their kids, nor do they want to suffer some trumped-up charges down the road, due to misunderstandings or false reports. Since they don't know what else to do, they have chosen to do nothing, but to simply hope for the best as they let their children go their own way.

52. You know, however, that a child left to himself brings his mother and father shame. What might look like the easy, non-confrontational path eventually becomes a bitter road full of heartbreak and regret. You, the children of David, have much more understanding and insight than the poor floundering parents in the world. You are without excuse. For you know the wise and loving boundaries of discipline, and you have at your disposal godly counsel on how to teach your children to obey, without breaking their spirits or driving them away in rebellion.

53. Unfortunately‚ however‚ many of you parents have not taken advantage of the wisdom and insight available, but you have allowed compromise and lethargy to pull you away from the godly standard, and you have become more and more like the lost, confused, wavering parents of the world. As a result‚ many of the children of the Family are looking more and more like children of the world. (End of message from Jesus.)

54. (Mama:) I doubt that this message is a surprise to many of you. Here again we see one of the many sad fruits of lethargy and compromise; it has stolen the strength of consistency in discipline from many of you parents. But that didn't happen from one day to the next. The Lord says it has "slowly ebbed away." Little by little you got off track.

55. I know you want to do what's right. Of course you love your children. But this lethargic, lazy parenting that you've now become so accustomed to that you hardly even recognize it, crept in slowly‚ one little compromise at a time. This is something worthy of serious reflection and prayer. Think back. Do you remember the times when the Lord's still, small voice was trying to get through to you, trying to motivate you to spend the time necessary to correct a problem, right a wrong attitude, or teach a lesson to your kids? But you blew it off‚ convinced yourself that it wasn't important, or that you could do it tomorrow, and gradually you didn't hear those checks anymore. That's what the Lord means when He says your desire and vision to follow through with consistent discipline has slowly ebbed away.

56. Another very key point that I know is hard for you moms and dads to hear is that part of your lack of faith to be firm with your kids is because your own lives are so compromised. You know how much kids hate hypocrisy, so you have felt you couldn't uphold the standard with your kids when you are guilty of many of the same sins. Are you allowing too much worldly influence in your life in the form of TV, sports, books, alcohol, Internet browsing, etc.? Have you become too lazy to get out witnessing like you know you should? Have you quit getting your daily Word time? Do you fail to exercise your gift of prophecy or take your prayer vigils? Do you eat a lot of junk food, and not exercise? If that describes your lifestyle, then it's no wonder you don't have the faith and conviction to expect your kids to uphold the standard in the Word.

57. If you're not deep in the Word‚ really close to the Lord yourselves, but instead have become deeply entrenched in the System, then you can be sure you're getting a lot of ungodly input on child–rearing. The System is full of propaganda that screams, "Don't discipline your kids." That's the way of the world—total independence, no boundaries, just let kids have their way. Unless you've actively fought to put on the Lord's mind in this area, to keep your attitudes in line with the Word, you can be sure you have strayed and been weakened by the world! You can't just passively sit back and expect that you'll have the right reactions. You have to fight to be right with the Lord and cleansed from the System. You have to be aggressive and take initiative to be doers of the Word! You have to work to be in the world but not of it! And if you haven't actively, aggressively, determinedly, seriously and desperately kept your mind clean through the Word‚ then the chances are very great that you're polluted by System propaganda.

58. The Devil is on the attack! He's not sitting around, passively letting things develop on their own. He has gone to war to destroy the youth of today, and he is especially interested in our kids! He wants to make you afraid to discipline your kids. He wants you to think it's a thing of the past to expect obedience, respect and adherence to the boundaries you and your Home set. Don't you see? He wants you to be just like all the hopeless, lost, mixed-up parents of the world! That's exactly what he's doing! And in many cases, he's succeeding!

59. If you haven't recognized his attacks and taken definite steps to fight back, then at this point in time you're losing the battle, whether you realize it or not! Quit being dead in the spirit and oblivious to the Enemy's plan. Wake up! I know you love your kids, but do you act like it? Don't let the evil spirit of lethargy blind you to the spiritual warfare. Fight back! Get serious with the Lord! Get rid of the compromises in your own life, put on the Lord's mind, and be a doer of the Word, so you can expect your children to obey and respect you and do the right things.

60. Here is more insight on the root of our parenting problems.

Lack of faith in the Word, lack of obedience, and laziness

61. (Jesus speaking: ) Problem parents suffer from a variety of problems, which can be attributed to the spirit of lethargy and its influence, although there is also more to it than that.

62. One major problem is that some have harbored doubts and have not believed My Words of instruction—My Words in the Bible, My Words through David, and My Words through recent prophecies regarding the training of your children and the importance of discipline. Some have given My Word and My standard mental acceptance, but haven't really followed through on living and behaving as I have instructed. Others, who are further astray, have made conscious decisions that they would not discipline their children‚ or at least not in such-and-such a manner‚ or that they wouldn't be as strict as their parents were, or as others who they disagreed with were. Some parents do claim to believe in discipline‚ but their idea of what constitutes discipline is amiss, and also, they may or may not really believe that the bad fruits of not disciplining are as serious as they've been made out to be.

63. This is a serious foundation problem—a problem of disbelief, of lack of faith in My Word, and lack of obedience to it. This is a problem that is very difficult to correct—although, of course, possible—because it requires a complete change in mindset and attitude on the part of the parents. It requires them to mentally and physically accept something that they've been resisting, struggling with, simply ignoring, or actually rejecting for many years—My standard and viewpoint on discipline. Many have distorted or incorrect ideas of what discipline means, or of what the right standard is, and when you start off on a misguided foundation, everything goes downhill from there.

64. The other major factor that has affected many is laziness, leading to self-indulgence‚ as well as indulgence toward their children. It takes a lot of diligent effort and faithful follow-up to discipline and train children properly, and that's a lot of work, as any parent or anyone who has cared for children knows! It's so much easier, or so it seems, to start to let things slide, to not ride herd on the kids, to ease up, to slack off, and sadly, many have taken this "easier" route.

65. You could compare it to the way many in the Family have looked at follow–up in witnessing: It has been promoted in the Word for years as a good thing, an important thing, even an essential thing, but look at how many people have not given it the time and attention it needed! It's taken months, or rather years now, of giving the call, promoting the tools, pushing the vision, and now it's happening in most places‚ but for many it was a big change of mindset. Was it because nobody knew follow-up was important? No. Was it because nobody wanted to do the right thing? No. It was mainly because it just seemed like so much work, so much trouble, and if it wasn't absolutely essential to the immediate day-to-day running of a Home and work, many opted to just not do it‚ or rather, to not really fully dive into it and immerse themselves in it, but to do as little as possible.

66. That's the way many people have gone about disciplining their children too. They know they have to have some standard‚ and will correct their kids on the majors or if they get way out of hand, but they're not really building a proper foundation; they're not giving the solid, Word-based training and consistent oversight and shepherding that is needed.

67. There are other related major problems too, such as parents who do discipline their children, but don't teach them self-control and self-discipline, and don't give them enough godly background and insight into what's right and wrong. These are children or teens who will behave themselves if with a strict adult, but when left to themselves or placed in a new situation will run riot and wreak havoc, because they're only obeying to please that adult‚ or out of fear of punishment, rather than out of love for Me or fear of Me. This fear of Me, which goes hand in hand with a personal relationship with Me, is an essential building block and foundation stone of good training and discipline that‚ sadly, many Family parents have neglected to train their children in.

68. It comes down to parents not including Me enough in their lives and in the lives of their children. If they were as close to Me as they should be, as filled with My Word as they should be, as believing of My Words as they should be, as full of faith and conviction as they should be, putting on My mind as they should be, then they would pass this on to their children through their teaching, and even through their very spirits and attitudes and daily lifestyles.

69. Another problem which is fairly widespread is parents who are not investing the time with their children to teach and train them and love them and give them the attention that they need, and so of course they lack the conviction to discipline their children, because they know they're not meeting their needs. Children need consistent love‚ teaching, training, input and care. Discipline is only one aspect of that. So those parents who are not making their children one of their primary focal points, who aren't willing to sacrifice and work hard to invest the time in teaching and giving their children the attention and quality time that they need, are generally very weak and compromised in the area of discipline as well. (End of message from Jesus.)

70. (Mama:) Many parents don't discipline their kids because they don't believe in the standard put forth in the Word—the Bible and the Letters. Some parents say they believe, and they don't actively or consciously reject the Word‚ but they don't follow through, they don't live the Word, so that makes the Word of little effect. A mental acceptance or passive belief isn't enough if there isn't obedience to the Word. Others have made conscious decisions to not do what the Word says‚ primarily because they don't necessarily believe the counsel in the Word is the best way, and they want to do things differently. I'm sure it's no surprise to you that this is a common practice of many second-generation parents. They openly declare, "I will never discipline my child the way my parents (or teachers) disciplined me."

71. I'm not going to say that all you SGAs were disciplined well. Maybe some of your parents, teachers or shepherds were terrible disciplinarians. Maybe they were harsh and unrealistic. Some probably had problems with anger or they lost control. That is wrong.

72. But that's not what we're talking about here. Peter and I don't expect today's parents to follow bad samples of the past. That would be ridiculous. But to reject the godly counsel of the Word just because some people didn't apply it right is also ridiculous.

73. I'm not asking you SGA moms and dads to be harsh or unloving in your discipline. Maybe some of you were raised in that way and you've vowed you'd never be that way with your kids. But what you may not realize is that in trying so hard to not be like your parents or like Auntie so-and-so or Uncle so-and–so, you're becoming like the System! You've gone too far in your quest to do it your way; you've not only turned your back on past child discipline methods that you feel were wrong, which very well might have been wrong, but you've turned your back on the Word. You've thrown the proverbial baby out with the bathwater. So now your indulgent, too lenient‚ inconsistent approach to child-rearing lacks absolutes and solid boundaries. I'm sorry to say this, but if you keep that up, you'll eventually see the fruit of it in sad‚ rebellious, incorrigible children.

74. I ask you to please count the cost. Look ahead, into the future. Think of your kids when they're teenagers. The little fits and tantrums that you're ignoring today will turn into arguments‚ hatred, and even crime. Remember what the previous message said, because that's where you're headed: "…down the broad road the world has paved for child-rearing; the road that has no clearly defined borders or boundaries; the road that leads away from godliness and Christian behavior, and instead toward waywardness‚ 'anything goes,' the 'let kids be kids' mindset, 'let them be, they'll learn eventually,’ unruliness, lack of self-control, unhappiness, and eventual destruction. This is the road the Devil is paving very carefully for the children of the world‚ for slowly he seeks to secure them soundly as his—children who have no morals and no standards, and whose parents have no control, power or authority over them."

Give Your Kids a Grounding In the Word!

75. Another problem the Lord has highlighted, which contributes to the lack of discipline and the poor spiritual state of many of our children, is that they're not receiving a good grounding in the Word, and instead have an inordinate desire for movies, computer games, and the things of the world. Dad explains some of why this is and what you can do to counter it in the next message.

76. Of course, this is not a problem that can be solved overnight‚ and you'll have to seek the Lord about how to bring about the changes in your personal home and family in a way that will not turn the kids off or make them resentful or rebellious, but rather inspire them to go even further in their personal dedication and desire for the things of the spirit.

77. (Dad speaking:) A revolution is needed in getting back to the Word and back to the basics with our children! The world has changed, and so what kids born in the last 10–15 years have come to expect is also different from what the SGAs expected when they were young. It's a world of multimedia, entertainment handed to you on a silver platter, and everywhere you look there are commercials and ads and symptoms of materialism. Even in the poor, third world countries there are signs of materialistic invasion and allure everywhere.

78. So it's understandable that the kids of today expect more, in a way. But with that comes the danger of dissatisfaction with the Word, with the simple things of life, with godly, unselfish, unmaterialistic living—and, sad to say‚ many of you parents haven't really sought the Lord as to how to counter that. You've been sucked in yourselves and have let your children get swept away‚ to the point where now it will require a real effort in the spirit to get things back to where they should be.

79. Whether you're with your kids full-time or they get much of their education and daily life instruction from teachers or others, you're still responsible for their training and grounding in the Word. What are the activities you do together with your children based around? Is your activity of choice for Family time or free day watching a movie or playing a computer game? Or is it doing something fun and inspirational together based around the spirit?—Such as reading through a Heaven's Library book together, playing a Word–based game, going witnessing or on follow-up, provisioning a meal out and witnessing to the manager, learning graphic design and using computer time to work on the mail ministry or a local publication for your sheep, or having an evening with one of your contacts and their children, where your children can witness and pour out to the children of your friend and give some of what they have received!

80. If your kids roll their eyes or whine at those sorts of ideas, then something's wrong! Because our children have a huge future in front of them‚ and if they're going to be prepared for it, they need a good‚ solid foundation in the Word, in the basics of witnessing and our life for the Lord, and in the ways of the spirit.

81. But this won't happen if you parents aren't hooked on the Word and ready to live it! Kids can sense hypocrisy, and they don't like it. You parents should be willing to make the sacrifices needed to live the Word, to make it a living testimony to your kids, and if you take time to ask the Lord and are willing to invest time in teaching your children the Word and all there is to know about feeding the sheep and shepherding others, the possibilities are endless as to the fun activities and ideas that you can do together, to replace the extensive System input and mindless activities that some of our children spend so much time on these days.

82. That's not to say that you can never watch a movie with your kids or play a computer game with them. But the point is that right now way too much of that is going on, and our kids are missing out on the fun and excitement of the spirit that could be happening. It takes a lot more work, more planning and preparation and effort in the spirit, to pull off an activity or a witnessing adventure as opposed to putting on a video, but the effect on their spirits is beyond price, because it's affecting their perspective on things, it's preparing them for the future, and it's going to stick with them for years to come. (End of message from Dad.)

Important Counsel For Young Parents

83. (Mama: ) To expose the wrong attitudes among some of you SGA parents is not a popular subject, and you're probably not liking this very much. But it's serious, and as much as I don't want to upset or embarrass you, it's my responsibility to show you the error of your ways. I suppose it looks like I'm picking on you, when you probably know of many FGA parents who are also delinquent. Yes, that's true. I know of many too. I would venture to say, however‚ that much of the FGA problem is rooted in laziness, the second major problem the Lord brought out in the message you read earlier. It's not that they have necessarily rejected the Word. Well, some probably have, but it's not nearly as widespread with the FGAs as the SGAs. A majority of FGAs know the Word‚ both the Letters and the Bible, and they do believe, but they have become weary in well doing, especially those who have had many children.

84. I have heard that many FGA parents look more like grandparents now—indulgent and spoiling their children. They operate very differently than when their first kids were little. But as I said, I believe this is largely due to laziness, or because they're afraid that if they discipline their teenagers or set a strict standard of behavior for them, they will be unhappy and will decide to leave the Family. This too is a serious problem, and the result is the same—undisciplined, bratty, spoiled kids, sometimes rotten apples! But it's much easier to correct these problems than a lack of faith in the foundation of the Word, because when you have rejected the Word, as the Lord pointed out, you have to have a complete change in mindset and attitude. You have to accept something that you've been resisting, struggling with, ignoring or actually rejecting—the Lord's standard on discipline.

85. Because this takes such a huge step of faith‚ I asked the Lord for more on this. Faith cometh by hearing the Word. I didn't figure one little prophecy would be enough to convince you of the need to think and act differently, especially if you're one of the many people who have a great respect for the teachers, lecturers and gurus of the world. If you've been taking in their doctrines and studying their methods‚ then it will take some definite effort to be washed with the Word and to put on the Lord's mind on this matter.

86. It's up to you if you choose to believe what the Lord has to say. I can't make you believe it and change. But I want to warn you through the next two prophecies of what problems you will likely face in the future if you continue to refuse to give your children the consistent‚ loving, firm discipline they need.

87. These messages are directed to you younger parents. Please call on the keys for openness to this counsel, and know that I'm sharing these things with you because I love you and your children. Later there are more messages that apply equally to the FGAs, and the principles of these messages can be applied to all parents, regardless of age.

The minutes are ticking by …

88. (Jesus speaking:) The Enemy has come into the SGA ranks of My Family with a great deception and trickery‚ and that is in the area of raising and disciplining their children. He has gone to great lengths to parade the mistakes, failings, and shortcomings of their parents in their minds. He has taken care to blow up the negative and to flaunt in the SGAs' minds the fears and worries that they have about their children‚ under the guise of advising them to raise their children differently than their parents did. He has woven this together with their own battles as children and young teenagers, and has brought to mind the times when they felt hurt, mistreated, or overlooked. He has spun a very subtle and gentle yarn of untruth and distortion, which has swayed many SGAs toward a lenient, laid-back, overly tolerant viewpoint concerning the discipline of their children.

89. I look upon this leniency and this attitude with great sadness. My sadness comes from knowing that the path these SGAs are choosing to walk down in the training and discipline of their children will result in their children being unhappy, discontent, and difficult to satisfy and please. The SGA parents, in turn‚ will also find themselves at the destination of frustration, impatience, and sadness for not having trained their children aright. They will have to stand by and watch their children make their own choices without having a firm foundation to base their decisions on. They will not have the ability to guide their children, because their children will have lost respect for them and for their counsel. As they grow up‚ they will be determined to have things their own way, to be independent, to place themselves above the counsel of others, the good of the work and others, and most importantly‚ above My will and leading in their lives.

90. I'm not concerned with whether you SGAs choose to train and discipline your children like your parents did—that is not the point. The first generation as a whole did the best they could with their children. They poured the love, time, care, and attention they had into you SGAs and older teens. They also gave you all the Word and spiritual training they could. They gave their all for you, and though there were some lacks, they loved you. You can't deny that. They made mistakes; they failed in some areas. But you should know that every parent fails in some area, and I'm sorry to tell you that you SGAs who are parents are also failing in some areas. You're failing your children in not giving them the boundaries and the true love that they need in the form of discipline.

91. When children are young, it's the most important time to teach and train them. At the same time, however, when they are so young and still so influenced by normal young, childish behavior‚ it's also the most difficult time to see the consequences of lack of discipline. It's easy to excuse bad behavior by saying your child is just having a hard day, or is tired or grumpy, or is just being foolish and is unable to get full control of him or her self.

92. Young parents, the minutes are ticking by. Your children are being molded every day. The moldable clay of their little lives is hardening, and pretty soon you won't be able to change it. Sure, you will be able to bend a little here, and move an arm or leg this way or that way‚ but the overall character of your child and his or her foundation is now being set in the stone of their life. Once that is set, it's quite difficult to change. As a parent, your duty is to shape the clay of your child's heart, mind, and life, and show them how to dedicate themselves to Me and others. You are meant to show them how to live a godly life, how to discipline themselves, how to walk circumspectly.

93. I know that you don't like to be put in a box and told to conform to the way your parents did it. That's not what I'm telling you. My instruction to you is that you must get desperate to raise and train your children with love and godly discipline as I instruct you to in the Word. Forget about any mistakes your parents may have made. Can you trust Me? Can you trust your children to Me? I'm the One Who gave them to you in the first place. I'm the One you need to receive your instructions from. I'm the One you should be following when it comes to modeling your parenting and discipline skills.

94. How much have you sought Me about your children and their behavior problems? How much have you asked for My counsel? Have you been open to Me pointing out the weak areas in your parenting and discipline standard? Many of you have closed yourself off to outside help from the FGAs and other parents because you don't want to submit to someone else's idea of how you should train and raise your children. Well, it's leading you down the wrong path, and your children that you love so dearly are the primary ones who are going to suffer throughout their lives because of your decision to do it your way.

95. The instruction, counsel‚ and standard are all in the Word. You don't have to hear it from someone else if you'd just take the time to pick up the GNs and the older Word and study it. Then hear from Me about how to apply it to your own kids, and what tailor-made instruction and application they need, and then you'd be set! But right now many of you are shunning the Word on the subject, lumping it all together with the FGAs and the older parents who want to give you some counsel on how to train your kids. You figure that they're your kids, so you should be able to make the decisions that concern their lives and training‚ and you don't want anyone else to meddle or get involved, because they might mess things up and screw up your kids!

96. Well, I have news for you—they are My kids, and they're on loan to you! So if you plan to raise them as Christians, in the fear of Me and with godly admonition, then please listen to Me and heed My counsel and instruction about how to do it—which at times includes heeding the counsel of shepherds and other wise counselors who are My voice to you.

97. There is no perfect parent in the world, and while I know that you have the best of intentions, you will be missing the mark if you continue down the path of leniency and over-tolerance. If you aren't willing to discipline your children, then you're heading down the wrong road. And I'm not talking about harsh discipline—I'm talking about godly instruction and correction.

98. Will you think about it, please? Check your heart to see how much of My instruction and counsel to you about disciplining and training your children you have pushed aside and neglected or even rejected altogether. Please let go of the Enemy's ploy that's causing you to weaken your convictions and compromise in this area of raising your children to be solid Christians, disciples, and witnesses. Let go of how your parents raised you. Stop dwelling on the mistakes they made. Determine and decide today that you're going to raise your children the way I want you to.

99. Can you give not only your own life to Me‚ but also your children's lives and training? They are the hope of the future, and the only way they will become that hope is if they are trained aright, according to My Word, My counsel, My standard. (End of message from Jesus.)

100. (Mama:) Please note where the Lord says that the most important time to train your kids is when they're young. You might excuse their problems now or think you'll tune into them later, when things "get serious," but it doesn't work that way. They're developing habits, personalities, and character now! They're building their relationship with the Lord now! Please don't let foolishness‚ shallowness, laziness or lethargy cause you to miss taking advantage of this most important time in your children's lives.

Discipline is part of love!

101. (Jesus speaking:) It saddens Me to hear of the second generation adopting this attitude of not wanting to raise their children the way their parents raised them. And then to use it as an excuse for not disciplining their kids is even more disheartening. I'm actually proud of the way your parents raised you SGAs! Granted, there were mistakes made. No one is perfect‚ and your parents are no exception. But they did their best to impart to you My love and a foundation in My Word and godly principles. This is one of the foundation stones of your faith, and one of the main reasons that you're here today, storing up rewards in Heaven, and doing the most important and well-paying job in the world!

102. I'm also proud of each one of you of the second generation who are still here and serving Me. You have hung on through a lot, and you have received a wealth of training and wisdom that is beyond your years. So when I look at you, I see success! And a good part of that success is attributed to your parents and the way they raised you. They raised you according to My Biblical principles and in My nurture and admonition. They raised you according to My teachings—the Word, the standard.

103. Not only is this sort of attitude a direct hit at your parents and all the hard work, time, love, and sacrifice they poured into raising you, but it's a direct hit at My Word, My godly principles, and David's teachings.—Not to mention all the written Word the Family has received over the years on the subject of childcare and raising children in My nurture and admonition. It hurts Me when I hear this. It's a slap in My face and in the face of all My first-generation parents, many of whom gave up much and sacrificed much to raise you, sometimes in adverse conditions on poor mission fields.

104. Granted, some parents were stricter than others‚ but they did the best they could, knowing they were raising disciples, and for the most part did their best to pour into you the training and Word that had been poured into them. Training and discipline were part of their lives, and they knew from the standard of My Word and Biblical principles that it was part of their duty to train you, My gifts to them, in the way that you should go.

105. Now the following may come as a shock to some of you—especially those of you who have decided to embrace the worldly attitudes of leniency and very little discipline—but it's better to err on the side of being too strict than not strict enough. Many people of all ages testify to this—that even if they felt their parents were too strict with them and it was hard on them in some ways, still, they acknowledge the long-term fruit it has borne in their lives as opposed to leniency and indulgence.

106. The repercussions of being too lenient and indulgent are far more hazardous to your children's spiritual and emotional development than being too strict‚ especially nowadays when the line between right and wrong behavior is slowly becoming hazier and more undefined with each passing year. This is all part of the Enemy's plan to pull the next generations into the gray zone of muddied and confused morals‚ values, and behavior, to draw them away from Me, away from light, away from the truth.

107. Correction and discipline are part of My love to all My children—young and old. Those I love, I rebuke and chasten. Those who are My children I purge, strengthen, guide‚ and instruct. If I do this in your lives to draw you closer to Me, to strengthen you, to purge you, to make you more fruitful, should you do any less with your children? Should you extend them any less love and care than I extend to you? Do you place yourselves and your carnal wisdom and reasoning above Me and My ways and what I know to be the best for you and your children, whom I have created?

108. Just as it is a manifestation of My love and care in your life that I correct you and provide you with clear boundaries, clear do's and don'ts, so I expect you to do the same with your little ones. You're failing Me if you don't‚ and you're failing your children if you don't supply them with this very important side of love—correction and discipline. They need the security of knowing their boundaries, for a child left to his own devices will bring his parents shame.

109. So to you, My second-generation parents, and to parents of all ages, I say, "I expect it of you!" If I guide and instruct you in the way you should go, how much more should you do the same for your children, who know not the way on their own?

110. I ask you, where did this attitude of leniency and not giving children the discipline they need come from? It certainly didn't come from My Word‚ and it didn't come from David's teachings. You have allowed the Enemy to seduce you into believing more in the vain babblings and wisdom of the current clime of the world and man than in Me and My godly standards and teachings.

111. If you continue to cleave to the worldly standards and teachings on raising children and fail to give your children the discipline and training they need, then I promise you that your sorrow, troubles, and problems will be many. You will not see your children stand beside you as part of My Endtime army. You will have lost them to the world. Lost, because you failed to show them the way. Lost, because you failed to give them the loving discipline they needed.

112. How many of you will weep in latter years for what you failed to give your children in this way, all because the teachings of the world appealed to you more, because they cost you less, they required less of you as a parent. But, oh, the sad path it set the feet of your children upon. (End of message from Jesus.)

113. (Mama: ) These messages are very straightforward. I know you young people don't need me to spoon-feed this to you by pointing out the important warnings and explanations. The choice is up to you. You can choose to receive this Word, believe that it's of the Lord, and change‚ or you can choose to reject it and continue on as you are. This is a personal decision between you and the Lord.

114. But I do urge you to please study this and ponder what the Lord is saying. Really think about it. Look at your children and think about their future. What do you want for them? What kind of teenagers and young adults do you want them to become? What kind of future do you hope they'll have? Do your children respect you? Will they continue to respect you? When your children look at you, what do they see? Will you have to watch your children make their choices later in life without having a firm foundation in the Word, in yieldedness and the fear of the Lord? What is the moldable clay of your little children's character becoming, minute by minute? Will your children suffer because of your sins?

115. This is a question of your own obedience to the Lord and the Word. You, as Christians, will be held accountable by the Lord for the way you discipline your children, and you won't be able to blame anyone else. It's up to you.

116. This isn't about your parents, or some mean auntie or uncle of the past, or the problems with past Victor Camps, or anything else that has caused you to turn against the Word. This is about your personal obedience to the Lord and the Word. Later down the road, if your children are unhappy, discontent‚ and difficult to satisfy, if they don't respect you, if they always want things their own way, and they place themselves above the Lord's will and leading in their lives, then it won't be your parents' fault or some FGA's fault. You will be held accountable for your lacks, for your disobedience to the Lord.

117. While your children will eventually be held responsible for the decisions they make when they reach the age of adult accountability, you are responsible to prepare them for that time, to make it as easy as possible for them to give their lives to the Lord in full surrender by giving them the training and discipline they need and deserve, and by being the right sample to them of having the Lord first in your lives, putting on the Lord's mind, and being doers of the Word. While parents are not held responsible for the decisions their adult children make, that doesn't mean you have no responsibility to train your children up until that point. Of course you parents are responsible, and the Lord holds you responsible for your part of the child-training process. Then when your children reach adulthood, the full responsibility of the child's decisions passes to his or her shoulders. But until that time, the Lord holds you parents responsible.

118. The Lord says that the Enemy has spun a very subtle and gentle yarn of untruth and distortion. You might not even recognize such a web, or it might seem perfectly legitimate to you. But I beg you to call on the power of the keys and pray desperately that you can put on the Lord's mind on this matter by letting the Word establish your thoughts. Rebuke the evil spirit of Pan that might be influencing your thoughts and deceiving you. Do this even if you think you're right‚ even if you don't believe what the Lord said in these messages. Still‚ have the love and conviction to at least go to the Lord in desperation and openness‚ and let Him speak to you.

Symptoms of Delinquent Parents

119. When you're very close to the situation with your kids, it might be hard to discern if you've become delinquent. You parents are likely to be quite familiar with your kids, and you've undoubtedly developed a routine and certain expectations. You've got distinct and probably deeply ingrained habits in your interaction with your kids, and you probably have some kind of pattern of discipline (or lack of discipline) established. You're used to the way things are. Because of all that, it's often hard to know how you're doing. You might need some kind of outside opinion or evaluation to shed some light on your parenting techniques. Also, some specifics from the Lord and Dad on the general weaknesses of delinquent parents could possibly check you about some problem areas in your own lives.

120. I believe you parents will sincerely want to know how you're doing and how you need to improve. Therefore, I asked the Lord to tell us, practically speaking, how can you know if you're a delinquent parent? How can a parent know if he/she is overindulgent? What are some of the telltale signs and common weaknesses in the parenting of delinquent parents? These next messages shed some light on these and other questions.

121. (Dad speaking:) Delinquent parents are usually lazy and lethargic. In some cases, they've been raising and training children for years—as is the case when they have a large family and have been parenting for years—so over the years they've grown lazy. In other cases the parents are younger, from the second generation, and they often don't know where to start or how to go about raising their children in the right way, mainly because they're too lazy to study the Word and do what it says. So one of the main telltale signs of delinquent parents is that they're often spiritually lazy or lethargic in some way—either by nature or because they've grown weary of the fight.

122. Another way to discern whether a parent is delinquent is how faithfully they apply the Word to their own life. If a parent is very faithful to read and study the New Wine and you see them implementing it in their life‚ there is a high chance that they do the same for their children. These types of parents who are studiers and doers of the Word will also do the same with the Word that's been put forth on the subject of child-rearing and child discipline. If they're following the Word closely themselves‚ they're most likely going to be following the Word to the best of their ability when it comes to the care of their children.

123. If you find a parent who doesn't really dig into the Word, who doesn't have a real hunger for the Word, who isn't implementing the new moves of the spirit in his/her life, then you can almost be certain that they're not digging into the childcare Word and implementing that in their children's lives. How can they expect a certain standard of their children when they don't expect it of themselves? They can't. It's hypocritical. So, as I said before, in excusing their children, they're excusing themselves. A love for the Word, a hunger for the Word—or a lack of it—can be indicators of whether parents are delinquent.

124. Those who have allowed System influences into their lives can become delinquent parents. Some parents allow themselves too much freedom in the areas of worldly input, and so they also lower their standard for their children in this area. If a parent is walking the fine line in the spirit, so to speak, then they're probably going to allow their children to walk the fine line. The kind of parents who allow negative influences into their own lives—either through the Internet‚ through ungodly movies, through too much worldly knowledge, through System music, etc.—are also not as on guard about the negative worldly influences their children receive. These are delinquent parents.

125. Some parents have allowed the System's standards of child-rearing to influence their thoughts and decisions. Some parents accept the word of worldly authorities over what the Lord says in the Word. A faithful parent will study the Word and believe the Lord's Words. A delinquent parent will question the Word, yet at the same time take the word of the System's so-called child–rearing authorities as gospel truth. They have an imbalance in their views and accept the word of the System above the Lord's Words. The way the parents of the world operate and how they treat their children or what they allow their children to do starts to seep into their lives and influences what they allow or don't allow with their children.

126. This is one of the biggest problems with many of our Family parents. They look at the world and how the world operates and think that it's not so bad. Many have lost a perfect hatred for the System and its ungodly standards. Many look at something that is accepted in the System in regards to child training and care and think that it's working fine for all of the rest of the world, so why should we in the Family have this rule and that rule or be so "strict" with our kids?

127. Some even think that the Family makes too big a deal about things in the System—the dangers of the System, the dangers of leaving children to their own devices, etc. They start to doubt and question why we have so many rules and guidelines for the discipline of our children. This is a result of believing the System's word above the Lord's Word—of letting your mind become so clouded with the ways of the world, that they tend to begin to look just as good‚ if not better, than our ways.

128. Well, I'm sorry, but the world is headed in the wrong direction! More and more they're going the way of "to each his own," or "do your own thing and be independent," or allowing their children to find their own way in life. It may not be proving to be so problematic at the moment—or at least the problems may not be that apparent to those who don't have their eyes open to see them—but it's where it leads to that is disastrous. It's where the kids in the world are going to be when they grow up that is scary.

129. Most System parents have lost sight of the most important aspects of child training. They don't focus on training their kids spiritually, emotionally or morally. They don't want to discipline them; they just want them to be happy and have whatever it is they think they need to be happy. This kind of ethic breeds children who are willing to go to any lengths to achieve so–called happiness—even stepping on others‚ hurting others, knocking others down, and even at times doing physical harm to others. It also breeds children who don't have patience, who don't know how to do without something, who don't know how to handle disappointment, and have many other serious flaws in their character.

130. Of course, our children have so much more right from the start! They have the Lord‚ and they have a whole lot of Word at their fingertips if their parents will be faithful to feed them. From birth our kids have a head start on the world. But it's sad when our parents abdicate their responsibility and turn into lazy or lethargic parents—just like the System. It's not that there are no guidelines. It's not that the parents aren't informed or haven't been told what to do. It's just that some are not willing to make the sacrifices it takes to be a parent to a disciple. It's a lot of hard work, and so many have gotten lazy and abdicated their responsibility.

131. There are many reasons for delinquent parents‚ but the main reason is the spirit of laziness and lethargy and the influence of the world. In the Family we're supposed to be training disciples, children who are going to shine for Jesus today and in the future. We're not in the business of raising children who are just like other children out in the System. If you want that for your children, then the Family is not the place for you. If you want your kids to go to System school and get the same experiences as their peers in the System, not to have to live a frugal faith life, then maybe you should reconsider your place.

132. The Family is where we're raising the rulers of tomorrow, and in order for our children to be what the Lord needs them to be, you parents have to be the rulers of your house today. You've got to stay true to your responsibility as Family parents. (End of message from Dad.)

133. (Jesus speaking: ) Discipline is training; it's part of the love parents show and have for their children. It's something that you, My children, have heard many times: "Train up a child in the way that he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it." How do you think your children are going to get the training they need? They need to be shown the way, they need to be trained‚ they need to be disciplined. I know you parents want to see your children grow up into strong disciples for Me; you want to see them turn out right. Well, if you're going to see that fulfillment in their lives you're going to have to train them, and that means discipline—loving, caring and consistent discipline.

134. It's not easy training a child, and it's even harder when you have many children to train. It takes work, but the rewards are so great! Each one of your kids is precious in My sight, and your rewards as parents are great! I know your hearts‚ and when I look at them I see great love for your kids. But I also see that in some of you the spirit of lethargy has entered in and deceived you by blinding you to the fact that what you think is just letting your kids "grow and experience life in their own way, on their own terms" is actually delinquency in your training of them, which is hurting them. It's stunting their growth as mature and dedicated disciples for Me.

135. Why do you think the world is such a mess? Well, for one, it's the Endtime and the days are growing darker, but part of that darkness has been caused because parents in this modern day have refused to discipline their kids. In refusing to discipline them, they have refused to show them right from wrong‚ and thus the world, especially the western world, is sinking further into darkness by the day.

136. The spirit of lethargy has completely engulfed many of those that dwell on the Earth and has caused them to abdicate their responsibility to their kids. They have shunned My Word, which admonishes parents to discipline their children, and have believed the Deceiver's lies that tell them that the way to love their children is to let them find their own path through life without the guidance of discipline. Unfortunately, this same spirit has entered into My Family to some degree‚ and is trying to corrupt parents in the Family into adopting the same thought patterns.

137. Imagine sending your children out into a wild and dangerous jungle without a map and without the survival skills for such a journey. You couldn't expect them to learn everything on their own. Do you think you'd have the attitude of "just let them find their own way and learn how to make it on their own"? No loving parent in his or her right mind would do such a thing. Yet many parents who truly love their children prepare them for life in this manner—by sending them into the jungle of this world without the map of My Word and proper preparation of "survival skills." Such parents think they're doing their kids a service by being so overindulgent‚ or they just don't see the fact that they're raising them with a lack of discipline in their lives. Either way it's being a delinquent parent, and the sad thing is that in the years to come both the parents and their children will suffer because of it.

138. There are many ways in which parents are delinquent with their children. Each situation is different, and you parents must seek Me and ask Me if there are areas in which you're falling short in the training of your children. Human nature makes it difficult to be able to see your own shortcomings or the shortcomings of your loved ones. It's difficult to see and be confronted with where you're wrong or what your children's weaknesses are. Parents need the help of others as well in seeing these things. However, many times these things are not black and white. It's difficult for others to help when they don't feel they have a handle on what the problem is or it's a matter of "your opinion versus mine" when talking with the parents about their child–rearing. That's why you must seek Me, ask Me‚ hear from Me.

139. If others in the Home feel that in some areas there is a delinquency on the part of the parents with their child-rearing, then there is a very good chance that there are some problems. Many parents don't like to acknowledge the fact that their "darling angels" may have problems and that the cause of some of those problems may be a lack of discipline in their lives.

140. Not having a disciplinary standard that is followed consistently is one of the main paths leading to delinquent parenthood‚ and if it is not rectified, will result in delinquent parents and delinquent children. There are many reasons parents don't have a disciplinary standard for their children. In some cases it's because the parents are so busy with other things they haven't taken the time to think and pray and seek Me about how to discipline and raise their children. They just manage day to day, but don't really invest in the training of their children's future by having a specific clear standard by which they will raise their children.

141. I know that you parents are busy, yet I do have the solutions for you if you come to Me and seek Me. While child training and discipline do take time, it takes a lot more time to fix the problems created by overindulgence and lack of discipline. You busy parents need to look at things that way.

142. In other cases, parents have been deceived by the spirit of lethargy into feeling that to have a whole disciplinary standard is too strict and structured and they just need to "let things flow" and take each situation as it comes without having any standard to follow. This is a trick that the Enemy has used with many good Christians in the world today, and the spirits of lethargy and Pan both work hard to corrupt the minds of those who will listen to their twisted views.

143. Some parents are lost when it comes to having a disciplinary standard; they don't know where to start or what is the best way to raise their kids or solve the problems they face with their children. These parents need help, yet they don't want help from others. In their pride, they think they have to be the "all in all" for their kids. They think that they have to have all the answers and all the solutions. But because they don't have the answers, they become delinquent because they won't accept the help of others.

144. Thinking that one or two parents have to have all the answers for their kids is simply not true. In fact, it couldn't be further from the truth! Why do you think I have given you the blessing of communal living? So you can share all things—and that includes sharing the responsibility of training your children. No one parent or set of parents has all the answers; everyone needs help from someone else.

145. I certainly have given parents great insight into their children and the way that they think and why they act the way they do. This is part of parenthood and something that I give to each parent to some degree or another. Yet the help of others is something that I have blessed you in My Family with. Others in the Home may not see as much as the parents or have as great an insight into the children as their parents do, yet they can also see things that the parents can't see because of that "blind love" that I have given the parents for their children. An open exchange of thoughts regarding the children and their training is vital.

146. Inconsistent discipline is another way to know whether you are being a delinquent parent. There is nothing that hurts your child more in regards to child-rearing than inconsistent discipline. Inconsistent discipline is a result of having no set standard, and thus at times you can be strict with your child and at other times you can be overly lax. It's that fluctuation in your child's training that confuses him or her and causes your child to rebel against your authority. Letting things go with your kids and then having to get upset in order to regain control of their behavior is not what is going to raise happy and secure children.

147. A delinquent parent can swing from being overly lax to being overly strict and back again. The training and raising of your children must be done with a balanced and even hand‚ not straying too far to one extreme or the other.

148. Not being willing to listen to others' suggestions or observations about their children is another sign of delinquent parents. Many delinquent parents think that they know best when it comes to raising their children and that they don't need to listen to others. They feel that because they love their children so much, they're the only ones qualified to raise their children. They think that they're good parents and their kids are doing fine, when what has really happened in many cases is that pride has blinded their eyes to the truth and they won't believe it or accept it.

149. Yes, parents love their kids. And yes, overall the parents are ultimately responsible for their kids and generally have a greater insight into their children's hearts and minds. But to turn a blind eye and refuse to listen to others or see the bad behavior of their children is bad parenting and is going to hurt the kids in the long run‚ and parents who refuse to listen to others in their Home in regards to their children and their children's behavior are delinquent parents.

150. Making excuses for their children's bad behavior and refusing to let others be involved in the disciplining of their children are other signs that parents are being overindulgent and lax in their children's training. Many parents think that this is not delinquency but "understanding" their children. It's important to understand and give love to your children; that's the most important thing you can give them, but not at the expense of letting them get away with bad behavior and making excuses for them. They will learn if you teach them, and a big part of teaching your children My ways is through loving discipline.

151. While the raising of children‚ which includes discipline, is the responsibility of the parents, because of the communal lifestyle that I have asked you to live, you are "one wife"; thus the children of one couple or parent, though still the main responsibility of these ones, are also the responsibility of all. The Home should discuss together its discipline standard so that those in the Home other than the parents are aware of how to discipline the children in accordance with the guidelines set. To refuse anyone but yourself the right to correct your children is being a delinquent parent, and as I have said before‚ delinquency in parenthood will not bear good fruit. (End of message from Jesus)

Summary of specific symptoms

152. (Mama: ) As you can see, there are several main weaknesses of delinquent parents: lethargy, laziness, excessive influence of the world, and not believing the Word.

153. Under the umbrella of these main weaknesses there are many more specific "symptoms." I'll list them for you here, to make it easier for you to assess your own parenting, or to ask someone else to do so. Delinquent parents are often:

 •too lazy to research the Word.

 •too lazy to do what the Word says.

 •weary with parenting, especially true of those who have many children.

 •not studying and applying the Word to their own lives, not having a hunger for the Word, and also not digging into the childcare Word and implementing it in their children's lives.

 •taking in too much System influence (worldly input) in their lives‚ and allowing their children to do the same.

 •believing System advice and standards over the Lord's Word.

 •being skeptical about the Word, but taking the counsel of worldly authorities as the "gospel truth."

 •accepting that the way it's done in the System is okay, and wondering why we have to have so many rules and be so "strict" in the Family.

 •playing down the dangers of the System.

 •giving children whatever the children think they need or want to "be happy."

 •letting kids find their own path and experience life on their own terms‚ with no boundaries or discipline.

 •not having a specific clear disciplinary standard or not following it.

 •caught up in the immediate day-to-day work of raising kids, but without a defined standard.

 •influenced by the evil spirits of lethargy and Pan.

 •not accepting the help of others, wanting to be the "all in all" for their kids.

 •disciplining inconsistently—sometimes being too strict, other times being too lax; letting things go and then getting upset to regain control.

 •unwilling to listen to others' suggestions and observations about their kids.

 •making excuses for their children's bad behavior.

 •not letting others be involved in the disciplining of their children.

 •refusing anyone but yourself the right to correct your children.

154. As the Lord pointed out and as we know, it's sometimes hard to see your own shortcomings or the shortcomings of your loved ones. The natural reaction is to get defensive and upset if someone talks to you about your kids' problems or your weaknesses in raising your kids. Most people immediately justify themselves. This is not right.

155. I know you parents love your kids‚ and if you're really serious about training them right, giving them the best head start and foundation for their future decisions, and you truly want to put on the Lord's mind regarding child training‚ listen to others. Be open-minded. Search the Word. Ask the Lord about not only the points in this GN, but anything others might want to bring to your attention. Seek out the opinions of others as safeguards, and pray desperately in the power of the keys for humility and a willingness to obey and be a doer of the Word.

156. Peter and I will be praying very desperately for you all, parents, children and helpers. We all need each other. The task is much too big for our human hands, but with each other's help and through calling on the keys of the Kingdom‚ putting on the Lord's mind, and being doers of the Word, we will accomplish His will! Praise our awesome Husband, the Keeper of the Keys!

Much love and prayers,

Mama

Additional Reading

I Have Set You in Tribes

157. (Jesus speaking:) Parenthood is a high calling, one that I give to those whom I know are capable of handling the job. When I give a child to a man and woman, it's because I know that not only does that child need you, the parents, but also that that child is going to be an instrument in your lives, just as much as you will be in his or hers. The child needs the parents, and the parents likewise need the child. I use that child to teach the parents invaluable lessons; that child has the ability to mold and make the parents as much as the parents do to mold and make the child.

158. The things I am able to teach a man and woman through parenting a child or children are limitless, if they are in tune with Me‚ close to Me, and constantly seeking Me for guidance. Parenthood is a great task. Not only is it a monumental responsibility to teach and train a young life, but it is also an awesome responsibility that I give to parents to learn all they can from the experience of parenting.

159. For you, My called and chosen brides‚ I do not intend for parenting to be a venture in which parents choose to go so far and no further. When I give you a child, I expect not only that you will care for and nurture that child‚ but also that you will take this high calling, this blessed responsibility, and learn all that I have for you through it.

160. To derive maximum benefit from the calling of parenthood, you must walk close by My side every moment. To benefit the most from your parenting responsibilities, you must seek the counsel, advice and safeguarding of your brethren. When all these things come into play‚ there are no limits to what you are able to learn and to your growth and progress.

161. In the world, the means and methods by which parents raise their children are more often than not contrary to My ways. I did not create parents to raise their offspring alone. I set the solitary in families; I planned for My people to live together in unity and harmony, loving and helping one another.

162. My plan for child-rearing is not according to that of modern man and modern society. I never intended for one set of parents to go it alone in raising their children. This method of child-rearing is an invention of modern man, inspired by Satan to weaken and tear down. Satan knows the strength of unity, and in this modern age, he has fought with all his strength to break down, hinder and destroy My plan for successful child-rearing.

163. In the days of yore I set My people in tribes, in families—that is, in large families, not merely a mother and father and children—for I intended child-rearing to be a family affair. My plan was that through the togetherness of parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, brothers, sisters, and cousins‚ all might live in unity, serving Me to the best of their ability, and likewise that all might unite to give the children of the tribe the very best care.

164. It is the same for you today. I have set you apart, in tribes, giving you a greater family, so that together you can work in love and harmony, helping one another to accomplish My will—whether it is reaching the lost of the world with My Word, or teaching and training your young ones in My Word and ways. My will is that you help one another, trust one another, bear one another's burdens, and demonstrate the unity of My Spirit to your children.

165. When it comes to raising your children, My plan is that you will work together in love‚ harmony, and unity of spirit. My plan is that you will join in ideas‚ vision and goals regarding your child-rearing. I call you to be unified in every way, including in the raising of your children. In My Family, though parents do bear the ultimate responsibility for their children, I lighten their load by spreading the blessing of child-rearing on many shoulders. You have caregivers, friends, aunts, uncles‚ many shoulders on which to lean, for all must take a part in, and, in fact, do have a part in the children's instruction and care.

166. This is, however, a big responsibility for all concerned. It must be a two-way street, one of open and honest communication, of yieldedness, of willingness to listen and learn from one another, of giving and taking, of safeguarding one another. If any party in this equation is not doing his or her part, or is failing to live up to the correct standard that I have given in My Word‚ the plan will not work as successfully as it is meant to. Everyone must learn to listen, must feel the responsibility‚ must give and take, and must accept the safeguarding of others.

167. This is often especially difficult for the flesh parents of children, since they feel they have the final say, the most important say. This is true; however, wise parents realize they need all the input they can get. Wise parents realize that in leaning on the safeguarding and strength of their co-workers‚ they will then be able to give their children the very best care and training.

168. Parents of all ages, this is where you can do better. I know your hearts, I know your deep desire to give your children the very best care, and I also see you try to do your best, yet in My love and great care for you, I ask you to consider this: What is the best you can give your children? The very best is to lean on Me‚ and on the strength of unity that I bless you with when you are united in obedience to Me. This is obedience to My will, as well as obedience to the tribal plan I give to you in living My One Wife vision.

169. If you are to do your best in child-rearing, if you are to give your children the very best of care, if you are to walk in full obedience to the express plan I have given the children of David—your best is to lean on the strength of unity in child-rearing that I make available to you.

170. My plan for you is to live in unity, in harmony, speaking the same thing, joined in unity for the care of your children. Anything short of this is not in complete obedience to My will. I give you parents many others—shepherds, caregivers, helpers—who all have a part in helping you raise your children. All must be united in visions and goals. This includes supporting and backing up one another when it comes to the children's care, especially in front of the children themselves. It takes great love, faith, and humility to accept the safeguarding of others. It takes admitting you're wrong when necessary. It takes forsaking your own inclinations and ideas at times, when My Spirit is guiding differently.

171. You parents have the most important role in seeking the unity of spirit with your brethren. This is because ultimately you have the final say over your children's lives. This responsibility, however, is not to make you lord over others; in reality it makes you more their servants. It means that as parents you must take on more the role of going the extra mile, seeking counsel, and striving for great unity in spirit. It takes faith‚ trust, yielding to one another, and being willing to listen to the safeguarding of others, for without this faith and trust and yielding to others, you will create in your children's lives a "build up with one hand, tear down with another" effect. When this happens, a great breach is opened in spirit.

172. You who help and counsel and teamwork with the parents in the training of their children also have a great responsibility, to make sure you are acting in humility and not falling prey to a spirit of self-righteousness. Even if the parents obviously need help, it is not your place to become self-righteous or critical. If you do, it will not bear the fruit of My Spirit‚ and any counsel that you offer will not come across in the helpful way that I intend it to. All involved must pray for My spirit of humility and understanding and a wise balance, so that you may be a strong, united team together, to fight for our children and to train them in My ways. (See also "Keep Fighting," ML #3366:51-56; 64; 72; 102-107, GN 969.)

173. One of the greatest devices the Enemy seeks to use against you is to blind you to the great importance of this unity I wish for you to have. When I speak of great unity‚ I speak especially of the unity of spirit. I speak of uniting in prayer, in hearing from Me, in making decisions concerning the children's care together, and in sticking to and carrying out those decisions together.

174. Remember, children are often more sensitive to the spirit than most adults. If any of you, therefore, say one thing out of lip service, yet in your heart you think or feel a different way‚ or behind closed doors you express other opinions, your children will pick this up in spirit. They will sense the disunity, for it is a spiritual thing, and when this happens it causes great confusion in their young minds. When this happens you will begin to see signs cropping up, various manifestations of wrong behavior, disobediences, rebellion, murmurings, unruliness and discontentment.

175. These attitudes of spirit are highly contagious and cannot be hidden. Therefore the unity of spirit must begin with the adults of the Home. If you are obeying My Word one hundred percent when it comes to child-rearing, you parents above all must seek the unity of spirit with those you live with, who all have a very important part in helping to shape, care for and train your young ones.

176. Remember, I have set you in tribes. I have called you to unite together, to fight together, to do all things together‚ including your child-rearing.

177. This unity of spirit must be manifest in genuine action. If you are truly seeking to be united and acting upon it, it will show in your fruits. You will be united in your actions, in your handling of the children, in backing up one another in love and prayer, in forming a united front in your discipline standard, and in demonstrating to the children your oneness and unity.

178. As you strive to be united in spirit around My standard‚ all else will then fall into place. Then, together and united, as you seek Me for your children's care, I will lead and guide with more specifics, geared to each situation as it arises‚ and your children will benefit, grow, learn and prosper. Then and only then will they be truly happy and secure in My love and care. (End of message from Jesus.)