KEYWORDS: lord, life, time, things, love, will

Issues, Part 12

Karen Zerby

By MariaMaria #625 CM 3418 7/02

Pleasure seekers or frontline soldiers?2

Choosing to be in the center of
God's will … and loving it!6

How much are you willing to give?11

Whatever the price…12

Taking off the mask12

The pain passes, but the beauty

Water nymph vs. landlubber19

What does that sword mean to you?21

Not a joking matter23

Pleasure seekers or frontline soldiers?


1. This first message was received shortly after Feast 2002, and in it the Lord explains how He is preparing us for greater things ahead. As you read it, please examine your heart and attitudes, so that when the time comes, you'll be ready. May our dear Husband help us all to be prepared!


2. I call you to war! I am transforming the children of David, My full-time disciples, from reserve units to My frontline soldiers! This is a battle cry! He that has ears to hear, let him hear! Let him awake to the sound of the trumpet and go forth for God and country to conquer!

3. You now know of the promises I have given, and you have received the gift of heavenly thought power. These are for a purpose much greater than yourself. I have empowered you from on high for a reason, and it's not just so you can grow spiritually and feel closer to Me. That's a byproduct of these changes, and you will be more aware of My presence, but I call you to fight, to die to yourself, to sacrifice, to go to war!

4. I've blessed you with many blessings. You've had your needs supplied abundantly. You have faced rough times, but you've also been spoiled with My love and goodness, with many of your wants and desires given to you freely. You've felt you were fully occupied with your calling of serving Me. But now I call out you who would give more or sacrifice more. I'm calling you to be as the great men and women of accomplishment who have gone before you. For they gave until there was nothing left of themselves, they worked at all hours when necessary, they toiled when they were exhausted—all because they were driven with a vision‚ a goal, something greater and bigger than their immediate concerns.

5. You've seen many such examples in movies and have read the life stories of some of these people. I know they've inspired you, and you walked away with a feeling of great admiration and respect for the determination and dedication of such people who went down in history as great inventors, pioneers, missionaries, generals, teachers, athletes, soldiers. Those who made a difference in the world had some things in common, regardless of what their quest was. There were qualities in their character that motivated them, that compelled them to greatness.

6. They all had a vision that they readily believed was possible. Not only did they feel it was possible, but to them it was worth everything. They were willing to make whatever sacrifice to attain the goal. They were passionate in their labors, not casual. They didn't listen to those who said it couldn't be done. They labored even when they didn't feel like it‚ knowing the shortness of time. Their personal desires and needs took second place to their work. They didn't concern themselves with the opinions of others, peer pressure, or the status quo.

7. They endured many failures and defeats before they eventually succeeded. They had enemies as well as supporters and friends. There were times when they doubted themselves, when they fell into discouragement, but they rose again. Many of them were disappointed or betrayed in some way by those they loved. They gave up a lot in order to accomplish something great. They didn't live lives of comfort; there was physical sacrifice, pain, and exhaustion. They had some kind of divine inspiration that gave them power. Many sought Me, privately or publicly.

8. If you were to study the lives of great men and women who bucked the tide and accomplished great things in their fields, you would see that they led lives of sacrifice. Theirs were not easy lives. They narrowed their activities and judiciously guarded their time in order to preserve their strength and energy for that which really mattered. They didn't "play" at their mission. They didn't fiddle around and take it easy, entertaining a come-what-may attitude. They were consumed with achieving the goals before them, and most of their waking hours were spent thinking, experimenting, training, teaching, pushing, working and doing whatever they could to succeed.

9. Think of some of these individuals and ponder their sacrifices. Florence Nightingale is remembered for her wonderful work to improve the plight of injured soldiers. She's pictured in white, as a nurse, sometimes with a dove of peace on her shoulder. But that is only part of the reality that she lived on a daily basis. Most of the time she was exhausted, sweaty, needed a bath, and wished she could just get a couple of hours sleep! She was usually on the verge of sickness herself, and yet she pushed herself to serve others, to clean, to comfort some dying man, to read to a person in pain, to train new recruits, to smooth over quarrels between the other women in training. She gave up her youth, her beauty, her hope for romance and marriage in order to serve others. She sacrificed. It was hard. There was much more plain hard work than glory or recognition. The unseen labors far outnumbered the glory.

10. General Douglas MacArthur is remembered as one of the greatest American generals—a brilliant warrior and an inspired leader of troops. He was decorated‚ admired‚ and lifted up as a national hero. But his life was much more about pain, sacrifice, and suffering than anyone now remembers. He was maligned, lied about, attacked, and even unjustly accused. But his determination won out, and the harder he was pushed to quit, the harder he hung on! This strengthened his resolve, and also taught him compassion and respect for each individual. He knew what it was to suffer, to hurt, to cry. He was broken, but it made him great.

11. Even in his later years, the victories he won were clouded by personal losses‚ by the tears of others, by the deaths he had witnessed. He was responsible‚ and the pain was crushing. He spent many hours in labored prayer. At times he spent night after night in sleepless agonizing, checking and rechecking the plans of battle. He was a driven man, lonely, one who gave his life to further the cause of freedom. No one knows the cost‚ for man usually sees only the shallow victories‚ not looking deeper to see the scars of battle, the scars on the heart.

12. Let's bring the illustrations up to date! Take Michael Jordan. He's a superstar! He makes basketball look like a choreographed dance. He's almost superhuman. Man looks on him as a miracle worker, poised, rich; practically everything he touches turns to gold. But what you don't see are the hurts and disappointments, the years of dedication, the injuries and pain of recovery, the fears, the long hours and many nights away from his wife and children and home. He's a role model for young people all over the world‚ and yet they don't realize he was once weak‚ insecure, confused, and at times felt like giving up. It was pure determination and a gut-wrenching will to not quit that got him where he is today.

13. Or what about Erin Brockovich, who you saw portrayed in a powerful, moving, entertaining movie? Julia Roberts makes her look like a feisty, witty‚ hard-working fireball, which she is. She portrays her natural charm with people, men especially. She had a keen sense of right and wrong, and she was innovative and a powerhouse to be reckoned with. This is a true picture, but it's only part of it. There is the other side—the long nights when she was up studying, the days when she went to work dead tired and then had to come home to the kids, the times she didn't have money for the children's school needs and medicine, the times when she wished she could just have a date and some good sex. She was driven by the needs of those she saw hurting and taken advantage of, but sometimes her own needs cried out for attention too. There was no relaxation‚ no nights off, no weekends away for fun. There was no entertainment or partying. All that had to go.

14. Some of the characters in the movie Men of Honor are fictional, but Navy diver Carl Brashear is a real character and a sample of a man with guts, stamina, determination and fight! Though Hollywood's version of the film alters some of the details of his private life and ignores others, this film accurately portrays Brashear's fight and determination to rise above insurmountable obstacles in order to reach his goal of being both the Navy's first black diver and first amputee diver, and later he reached the rank of master diver. Cuba Gooding Jr. gives a moving performance as he portrays the reality of a man who had to face cruel discrimination and racism‚ yet he stood strong and overcame. But there was more to Carl's struggle and fight than is shown in this short account of his life.

15. The reality of the accident on the Navy ship that befell him during his heroic act of recovering the bomb was far worse than the film delves into. Suffering massive blood loss‚ delay in getting to the hospital, and consequently terrible gangrene that set in, nearly took his life. He lingered between life and death; his leg was so badly infected it required two laborious operations to amputate. With his leg cut off, it was a long and painful haul to recovery. The sleepless nights seemed endless; days filled with anxiety threatened him; alcoholism tempted him. It took long, painstaking hours to learn to walk and function again. It took fight, it took resolve‚ it took willpower, it took holding on and the will to do or die, it took repeatedly pushing way beyond his limits to reach his goal.

16. Take a look at Muhammad Ali, a man who ranks as one of the most famous athletes in the world. Acclaimed by many through the years, he brought skill and speed and professionalism to the rigorous sport of boxing. As an athlete, the world calls him truly great. But if you'll take a closer look at what's behind the man, you'll find it was not the sport that drove Ali to greatness.

17. As a young boy he watched his fellow black men being shut out of restaurants; he saw them humiliated, oppressed and abused. It was then that he determined in his mind and heart he was going to fight to help his people. He didn't just fight for sport, he spoke out against evil, stood up for civil rights, refused to fight in a senseless war [Vietnam]‚ and he paid a price for such demonstration of his convictions. But being stripped of his title and banned from the ring didn't hold him down. He persevered, he withstood, and he rose again to victory!

18. Boxing and becoming famous was only a means to an end for Ali—a means to spread a message of healing for the human spirit, a message of loving one another. He put his faith into action, both during his athletic career and afterwards, as he reached out to others, giving his time and money to charitable and humanitarian causes. He hasn't been afraid to stand up for his faith and convictions. His faith and his deep desire to change the world motivated him and continued to drive him after his athletic years passed. He risked his health and shed his blood‚ sweat, and tears for what he believed.

19. You may or may not recognize the name Edson Arantes do Nascimiento, but his nickname, Pelé‚ is known the world over. Awarded the title Athlete of the [20th] Century by the national Olympic committees, Pelé is a living legend. I gifted Pelé with physical attributes and extraordinary talents, but these alone did not make him "the king" of soccer. He had to work hard to hone his gifts. What is behind this man who is revered as master of the "beautiful sport," as he called football [soccer]? Though his would seem a charmed life, one filled with great love and admiration from the cheering crowds, the thrill of the game, the fame, the fortune—behind the bright lights he leads a life of uncompromising discipline and resolve.

20. What did it take to reach his goals? It took all his time‚ all his focus, and all his energy to perfect his soccer skills. It took vision. It took setting goals and strict self–discipline to reach those goals. It took denial of other pursuits in life. After he dropped out of school in the fourth grade, there was no time to go back and acquire a formal education. It took hours and hours, years on end of drill work. It took the courage to endure rigorous training. It took enduring pain. It took hard work and toil. It took rising above obstacle after obstacle, both physically and as he faced corruption within the sports world. It took bucking the tide, drive, and stick-to–itiveness.

21. Men of such stamina are made‚ not born. It took sticking to his convictions, as is still evident in his latter years as he has continued to lead the fight against corruption in the sports world‚ and as he continues to live as he always did, showing generosity and kindness to all he meets.

22. Everyone who has ever done anything great has had to give up something great. There are no easy paths to greatness. There is no simple, casual, risk-free way to unusual accomplishment. Everything in life that is really worth something is going to cost you—a lot! If these men and women of the world were able to make such sacrifices and were rewarded with such victory through perseverance, think of what could be accomplished by you who have the goal of eternal salvation of all mankind, were you to take on the same qualities and determination!

23. I advise you to take a look at the great lives and stories you hear about and see in documentaries or movies, or read about in the news. When you're taken aback by someone's depth of character‚ drive, unselfishness, determination, and perseverance in the face of difficulty, take time to see past the brilliance and beauty before you. Know that behind that great accomplishment there is plenty of blood, sweat, and tears. There's so much more work, fight, sacrifice and pain than meets the eye.

24. This is a message that each of you of My children of David would do well to take to heart. There are many of you, My brides, who are dedicated and who have given much. But with "the good life" of My abundant supply there has also crept in a type of self-indulgence and a feeling that you deserve a certain amount of comfort and independence. While I am good to My children and I do supply even many blessings beyond mere needs, I would hope that My full-time disciples would keep these things in perspective so they don't take too great a position in their lives.

25. As time passes, I want you to know that things will be less comfortable. I will ask you to sacrifice more. You are warriors called to the battlefield, and life is difficult there.

26. It's not that I expect you to wear yourself out with endless labor, with no rest, neglecting time with Me. I will give you the rest and time of reflection you need. But know that with time there will be less and less time for partying and "fun," as you will need to be redeeming the time diligently and using any minutes you are not in hand-to-hand combat to prepare and be strengthened for the next battle.

27. I have called you to be one of those truly great people, someone who accomplishes something extraordinary. But like those I've mentioned, and like thousands of other heroes who went down in history and are remembered today, it won't come easy. Meditate on the sacrifices some of My great missionaries of old endured. See how they gave their health, the lives of their mates and children, their ties to loved ones at home, even their lives for the lost. By comparison, the children of David have given little‚ but that will change with time. Prepare yourself.

28. The circumstances will eventually be such that you will be driven, you will push and give and die daily! You will be overwhelmed with the need. That time is coming, because I have called you to the front lines, and whether you're face-to-face with the enemy or whether you're in the war room, the ante is upped and things will never be the same. Prepare to give your life. Prepare to live a hero's life‚ which is martyrdom.

29. Remember, you are warriors, and I call you to the front line! Things will never be the same! (End of message from Jesus.)


30. After receiving this message, we asked the Lord: What about all those who are workaholics already? There are some COs and others who work so hard that they're about to collapse! You've been emphasizing over and over about resting, taking more time with You, and not having unrealistic expectations. This message seems contrary, or at least there is room for confusion in knowing how to apply it. Do You have anything to say on this?


31. When I talk about working tirelessly‚ sacrificing‚ and being driven, I don't mean that it should be a work of the flesh, with you killing yourselves physically and wearing yourselves out to the point of collapse! I'm talking more about the time-wasting, shallow, worldly activities that some of the children of David have become addicted to.

32. There are many in the ranks who feel these pastimes and luxuries are a "right" they have, and if anyone or anything infringes on their free time or off-hour activities, they feel they're being mistreated, abused‚ and that it's not fair. This is what I want to change.

33. I have only begun to purge the world and its ways from the children of David; there is more to come. Not that I expect you to work day and night without relief, but your priorities‚ desires‚ and how you spend your time will change. The children of David will become less like pleasure-seekers and more like soldiers on the front lines. Like soldiers‚ you will still have your time of leave, because I do not expect you to forgo recreation, fun, parties, or times of relaxation. But much depends on your frame of mind and what you do with the rest of your time.

34. When you've given your all to Me and you're fully dedicated, serious-minded, and redeeming the time unselfishly, then I'm happy to give you extra blessings and treats. But what needs to change are those who spend a good deal of their time in frivolous, pointless endeavors and pastimes. Many have an imbalance, and that will not do. That is why I ask you to focus on examples of other great men and women and what it has cost them. That would be a good movie-viewing theme, since many people are so influenced and affected by movies. Watch true-life stories of real people and learn from their examples. (End of message from Jesus.)

Choosing to be in the center of God's will … and loving it!


35. The following message was received for one of the young men in our Home. He's a very talented individual and we're very thankful for him. And we're thankful that he's willing to share this priceless instruction with all of you, because the Lord has confirmed that there are many of you who need this message. So when you read it‚ please apply it to yourself. Don't think about the person that it was given for‚ because he has accepted the challenge and moved forward in the spirit, and now the Lord is talking to you.

36. Whether it's frivolous pastimes or wrong attitudes and mindsets, the message is the same: It's time for discipleship. It's time to put away childish things. The Lord needs professionals! Why go halfway when you can go all the way and really make your mark for the Lord?


37. I'm proud to see that you're willing to buckle down and go to work on some of these things that are hindering your progress for Jesus. I want you to know that I'm praying for you, and that I'm doing my best to help you—along with a lot of others Here who are on your side and fighting for you!

38. I'd like to share with you something that could be a help. I know the Lord has been talking to you recently about your tendency to mouth off and voice your pet doctrines and opinions to the wrong people, and at the wrong place and time. That's an important lesson to learn, and one I'm praying you'll really get down. I'm glad you're willing to open your heart to our dear Love's counsel like that, and keep working on something that you probably feel is almost an impossibility on your part.

39. You've been fighting to overcome this weakness of yours for a long time, but you should be encouraged to know that although you've let down your guard at times and fallen into some of your old habits, you're generally doing a lot better. We're all proud of you Here, and so are Mama and Peter and your other shepherds. You did really well by going to the Lord and asking Him to speak to you about some of the things that have been coming up in your life, and He has given you some very good counsel. He's been speaking to you about the importance of praying before you open your mouth, and He's asked you to restrain yourself from jumping into conversations about certain topics when you know your attitudes might be a little off.

40. But now the Lord has asked me to step in and speak to you, because He wants you to take things a little further. Instead of just asking Him to help you get the victory over your tendency to mouth off and voice your personal theories and opinions to others, it's time for you to ask the Lord to help you get the victory over your wrong opinions themselves, and to have more godly opinions which uphold and are in line with the standard of the Word and the teachings of the Family.

41. The Bible says, "Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh." That can be good, but sometimes it can also be bad, depending on what's in your heart and whether or not it's edifying. For you, it can be pretty bad at times, because some of the things you have in your heart aren't necessarily according to the Word, and in fact, just aren't so.—Especially, like the Lord explained to you, if you haven't been living in the Word as much as you should.

42. The discussion that came up recently concerning the health food standard is just one example of the kind of situations and debates you get yourself into, where you tend to be, more often than not, on the wrong side of the fence, preaching and promoting values and attitudes that are contrary to much of the counsel the Lord has given. As was pointed out to you, those kind of comments‚ especially coming from someone like you—so persuasive and sounding like you know what you're talking about—actually tear down other people's faith and confidence in the Word‚ and pull in the opposite direction of how our Commander in Chief is leading the Family and your Home.

43. No matter what your natural, carnal reactions and feelings are concerning certain things, if you've chosen to disregard the counsel of the Lord on any issue and have decided that you and your viewpoint are right, instead of Him and His; if you've chosen to have a cafeteria-style obedience and acceptance of what the Lord has said about any of these things, then don't tell your shepherds that you want to keep growing and progressing, because you don't! If that's the kind of disciple you've settled on being, then we'll never be able to trust you with the kind of responsibility the Lord is wanting to grow you into, or count on you to be the kind of sample that will lead others to a higher level of discipleship. And that's really what being in the Family is all about.

44. Everybody lets down their guard at times. Everybody has moments when their attitudes are off and need adjusting by the Holy Spirit and the Word. But if it seems that what's in your heart and what's coming out of your mouth are pretty regularly more off than on, more unedifying than uplifting, and generally negative, divisive‚ or against what's been taught in the Word, then it's time to get down to business with the Lord and find out why!

45. Why can't you agree with God on some of these things? If you're in the CM Family, then the GNs and the Family standard are God's will for you—across the board. You should be able to say‚ "I believe they're His will for me‚ and I agree with them. I agree with what my Husband has said and what He's asking me to do. I agree with the Charter and the Family standard. I agree with it all, even if I don't understand it all."

46. You should be able to agree in your heart and really desire to be in line with what the Word teaches, even if you don't understand every point or have a complete handle on why some things are important. If the Lord has given His counsel about something‚ then it is important, and you should be willing to accept it and receive it and let it become part of you, so that you'll be fully on board with it and obedient from the heart, and able to put it into practice in your life—without any Huddersfields and compromises that will eventually end up weakening you and your sample.

47. I've had a lot to say over the years about the importance of little things. It's the little things that make this Kingdom stand. It's the little foxes that eat the vines. It's the little compromises that eat away at the Family's sample and witness. It's the little disobediences that destroy the work and men of God. And you're no exception. "He that is faithful in that which is least is faithful also in much: and he that is unjust in the least is unjust also in much" (Luke 16:10).

48. If you sincerely want to grow spiritually, then you've got to be willing to let go of all your pet doctrines and any personal theories that don't coincide with and support your Family's teachings.

49. Part of the problem is that you look at some of these things as if they were just someone's personal, private interpretation of how to apply the Word, or their personal opinion of what the standard should be. But if you find that you're at odds with something that's being established as a Home policy or something that's being brought up as the Family standard, before you start murmuring and voicing your own opinions or personal preferences, you should first of all be willing to go to the Word and see exactly what it has to say on the subject. Ask the Lord to give you an open heart and mind, and do an in-depth study concerning everything the Lord and Mama and I have given on that topic.

50. Make the Word your reference point, and then if things still aren't clear to you‚ ask the Lord to speak to you personally and give you His thoughts about it, and He will. He's promised to do that. If you will choose to let go of your own preconceived ideas and ask Him to open your heart to His Words‚ He will help you to understand and to see why He gave the counsel He did.

51. The point I'm trying to make is if you want to grow and keep progressing, then something important has to happen in your heart and spirit. If you find that you're often struggling with a mind and spirit that's contrary, critical, and skeptical, then you need to ask yourself why. Why do you so often slip and fall into preaching the wrong things?

52. Don't tell me the victory is just in keeping your mouth shut and not saying anything about how you feel. That's no victory! Whatever's in your heart will eventually come out one way or another—either in your speech or through your actions, or even just in your spirit. If you don't agree with something that's a well-established Family standard, there's no way you can keep it to yourself. It's going to come out in your sample, and you'll always, sooner or later, end up verbalizing it and even trying to win others to your cause, and trying to prove that you're right and the Family standard is stupid and wrong.

53. I'm not saying you have to go around preaching the virtues of whole-wheat flour, for example. And I'm not saying you have to be a perfect little mindless robot. That's not what I'm talking about. But if the Lord or Mama and I have spoken on a subject, and you want to be one of our representatives, you have to be willing to let go of your own carnal thoughts, forsake your personal opinions‚ and instead accept the Lord's mind and teachings on the subject, and ask Him to help you get behind it wholeheartedly. If you're not willing to do that; if you're not willing to let go of your pet doctrines and theories that are contrary to the Word and admit that you're the one who's wrong, and confess your faults and weaknesses, and ask for prayer to be able to change, then how will we ever be able to trust you with the kind of responsibility the Lord is grooming you for in the days to come?

54. In the privileged place of full-time service that you've been given‚ you can't continue on with cafeteria-style obedience and discipleship. That's not going to be enough.

55. I expect more of you than that. I expect you to become the kind of man who chooses to be in the very center of God's will, and loves it there. I expect you to be the kind of disciple who doesn't just shrug his shoulders and resign himself to, "Whatever!"—But the kind of disciple who continually seeks the Lord for His very best and highest will, who chooses to follow the closest he can and do the very best he can in every area of his life.

56. If you're having a hard time accepting the Lord's best concerning some issues, or doing what He's asking of you because you have certain weaknesses, or because you've developed a perverted appetite or perverted tastes for something that's contrary to the standard in the Word, then what you really should do is confess those weaknesses and ask for prayer. Our Husband can help you and change you. He can even help you to appreciate and enjoy some of the things you felt you could never stomach before, if you'll just be willing to let Him correct you and change your wrong attitudes and your heart.

57. Instead of going the high road of being willing to hear from Him about these things and admitting that some of your attitudes have been a little off, you've chosen instead to go the low road of pooh-poohing what the Family teaches‚ disagreeing with its importance, and putting it down, through your sample and comments.

58. As I said before, there might be some things you don't fully understand, but if the Lord feels that it's important enough to give His counsel about something, then you have to be willing to accept that it is important, whether you understand it or not.

59. I'm not saying that you can never enjoy doing or eating something that might not be the absolute best or the healthiest. As the Charter has made clear, those kinds of things are okay for special and appropriate occasions, or when they're unavoidable. But you shouldn't be regularly eating foods with refined or bleached white starches or sugar‚ or drinking unhealthy soft drinks. The way you and others crave some of these things—soft drinks and lots of sugary sweets or salty junk food or white bread—not just on rare occasions, as the Charter allows‚ but whenever you can get away with it, wanting them all the time, and even preaching them and promoting them through your actions and words, that's what needs to change. By doing these things, you're breaking not only the spirit of the Charter but the actual rules of the Charter. And this food issue is just an example in the physical of a spiritual attitude which needs to change.

60. You're probably wondering what the big deal is and why I'm making such a fuss about something that, to you, seems so silly and insignificant. Well, if you haven't gotten the point yet, it's because there's a much bigger issue at stake—that of your full obedience and faith. Read through the books of the old prophets and you'll be amazed to see what kinds of things the Lord required of them, and how important every little thing turned out to be in the end. Those dear, faithful followers were asked to believe and accept and preach some pretty far-out stuff sometimes. And they were usually willing to do it, no matter how crazy or insignificant it might have seemed. When they didn't obey, when they leaned to their own understanding about things and compromised‚ even just on one little point, they ended up getting themselves into an awful lot of trouble—like Saul did, and like Jonah, and like the young prophet who ended up getting slain by a lion!

61. I challenge you, son! I lay before you a higher calling than what you've been willing to follow until now. I ask you to choose to accept and stand behind the standard of the Word, across the board, and to live it in every area of your life. Will you accept the challenge? You've got to find out where your faith lies, son, what you believe in, and then follow it. As good ol' Job once proclaimed when he was in the middle of his time of testing, "Neither have I gone back from the commandment of His lips; I have esteemed the Words of His mouth more than my necessary food" (Job 23:12). Do you esteem the Words of the Lord more than some of these other things which have up until now been so important to you? If you believe in the Family and all that we teach and stand for, then get behind it and preach it and live it.

62. I know that what I'm throwing out to you right now might seem much more difficult than just learning how to control what you say and what you don't say. In fact‚ you probably feel that I'm asking you to do the impossible. But it's not impossible. If you want it, it's yours. It's yours through the power of the keys‚ if you'll just yield and let go of your carnal mind and reasoning and pride and your personal tastes, and reach out for it by faith.

63. God has given you many gifts, son, but whether or not you use them for His glory is going to be up to you. Your biggest weakness isn't that you have a tendency to mouth off; it's that you don't mouth off enough or loud enough about the right things. You mouth off about many of the wrong things; and that's a real problem and a weakness—one that will continue to plague you and haunt you and hinder you from growing, until you finally say "uncle" and yield, and ask the Lord to take away everything that isn't of Him and replace it with everything that is.

64. If you're willing to do that, then you'll never have to worry about your mouth again, because instead of it getting you into trouble for the wrong things, you'll be using it for God's glory, and to bring others to Him. If you're yielded and obedient, then there'll be no limit to what you can accomplish for Him.

65. They that believe will turn many to righteousness. What about you? Will you turn many to righteousness? Are you willing to stand up for the truth? Before God can really use you to your full potential, you've got to get some things straightened out with Him. Find out why you're disagreeing with Him so much. Don't just think it's enough to accept the fundamental beliefs of the Family. You need to get to the bottom of why some of your attitudes are off, and why they're contrary to the Family standard and all that the Lord has said on some of these subjects.

66. God can't use your mouth for good unless your heart and mind are yielded to Him—not only on this one little issue, but on other things as well. If He's trying to lead the Family or those in your Home to go one way, but you're continually pulling in the other direction, then you're going to find yourself in a tug of war with God. If the Lord is saying, "This is the standard and the way I want it to be; walk ye in it!" but instead, you keep arguing and spouting off all the reasons why it's not right or that important—what do you think that's going to do? That's not only going to weaken you, but others as well, and their faith in the Word. It will divide. It will weaken. It will hurt the Family and your place in it.

67. There are thousands of wonderful Family members who are knocking themselves out to do the Lord's bidding—not because they feel forced to, and not because they can't find anything better to do, but because they want to. The CM Family is called to believe and to live the doctrine, one hundred percent—whether it's loving Jesus‚ the Law of Love, the Family health standard, the power of the keys, the Activated ministry—whatever! All of it!

68. So if you're having trouble with the Family standard, you need to get desperate in prayer and ask the Lord to show you why, what's behind it, what the root causes are, and what you're supposed to do to get over the hump and go on for Him.

69. "Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in Thy sight, O Lord‚ my strength, and my redeemer" (Psalm 19:14). If the heart is right, the work will be right, the words of your mouth will be right. If you're having trouble yielding, find out what attitudes in your heart are off, and do something about it! Is it just a bad habit? A bad attitude? A bad spirit? A case of pride? Whatever it is, God has the answers and solutions for you.

70. Some people just have to have the last say. That's pride. Some people tend to just spout off without even thinking about what they're saying. That's foolishness, and a bad habit. Some people just can't seem to avoid spouting off, even when they've thought about it and tried not to. That can sometimes be a bad spirit. Some people actually agree with the teachings deep down in their hearts, but if they've somehow allowed sin and compromise to cloud their perspective, then all kinds of wrong attitudes will gradually creep in.

71. Truth resisted loses its power over the mind. Is that what's happened to you? Have you, in your own carnal thinking and reasoning, resisted some of these things for so long that they've lost power over your mind, and you can't be convinced no matter what the Lord says?

72. I know you love Jesus and the Family. I know you're loyal and dedicated to Mama and Peter. You belong to the Lord, and that's why He's working on you. He's not mad at you, and neither is He looking down at you or condemning you for your weaknesses. But because He loves you and because He wants to use you and the gifts that He's given you, He's got to grind down that pride of yours until you're willing to let go of your own ideas and plans, and do and say whatever He asks you to. I should know! He had to work on me for years. But because I was willing to let Him, He was able to use me to do a lot of good.

73. If you really want to find out what God's will is for you and what He wants to do with you, just dedicate yourself to Him, holding nothing back. Be open to Him in everything, in every way, in every area of your life. Stop preaching the Enemy's propaganda, and instead be the Lord's mouthpiece. You can't say, "Okay‚ God‚ I'll do this for You‚ but not that. I'll agree with this, but not that." He's asking you to give your all to Him‚ and let Him do with you as He pleases, to sign an empty sheet of paper and let Him fill in the blanks.

74. Are you willing to let Him change you? Are you willing to be and do and say anything for Jesus? Even if it's something you feel you can't do, are you still willing to say yes and give it a try? "Not my will, but Thine be done."

75. Jesus went to the cross for you. He agreed to do whatever it took, to pay any price, and because of that, His Father was able to use Him for His most important mission. He'll do the same with you, if you'll just put your will on His side. Are you willing to do that for Him? (End of message from Dad.)

How much are you willing to give?


76. Sometimes how you look at things comes down to a matter of how much you're willing to give all, to serve, to have no reservations left for yourself at all, to truly be a slave of whatever I ask you to do without hanging on to any personal desires of your own. That's really what a love slave is. When you give your life to Me, that's what you're doing‚ and that's really what I'm looking for—those disciples who are so in love with Me that they are willing to completely surrender their personal agenda; all they want to do is whatever I ask, no matter what‚ with no questions asked.

77. There are slaves and servants in the world today who do this for their worldly masters—day in and day out. If their master says "do this," they do it; if they say "do that," they do it.

78. And really, that's what a true disciple of Mine does. Of course, because they are My disciple and My love slave, I'm a lot more understanding and generous than worldly masters, and I allow a great deal of freedom. Being a love slave for Me isn't the same as being a slave for those in the world. In fact, I am so liberal, sometimes people hardly know they're love slaves. And because I have given people free will, they can be loosed from being My love slave whenever they wish. Those who are My love slaves are slaves of their own choosing.

79. But those who are My love slaves and continue to be My slaves, giving their all, are those who remain the happiest. Those who continue to say, "I want no will of my own; what do You want me to do today? I'll do whatever You want, I don't care what it is. Please just let me serve You, I beg You. I'm unworthy to do anything and I'm so thankful to do anything for You!"—they are the ones who are the happiest. Total bondage to Me brings total freedom and happiness. Total yieldedness is total fulfillment.

80. When My love slaves who at one time had forsaken everything and had no agenda except doing whatever it was that I asked, begin to put restrictions and limitations on what I ask, they begin to run into problems. When they begin to say, "I prefer to do this" or "I prefer to do that," then they begin to feel unchallenged and discontent. Whenever I have called someone to be a 100 percent follower, but they begin to want their own way‚ then they begin to lose the happiness they had when they completely abandoned their life and will to Me. The more they try to do what they want to do, or think they want to do, or think they should do or deserve to do, the more unhappy they become.

81. I have a place for each person‚ and only as you fulfill that place will you find true and lasting happiness. Actually, you don't have to find happiness; you don't have to look for it. Happiness is the fruit and byproduct, the natural result and state of mind that follows when you come to Me and you say, "Jesus, please help me. I love You and I want You. Thank You for saving me. What can I do for You today? What do You want me to do? I'll do anything, I don't care what it is. Just let me be Your love slave. I only want to do what You want me to do and I have no plans or will of my own."

82. Are you still doing that? Are you giving your will 100 percent to Me, or do you have plans of your own? Are you still forsaking all every day? Or do you have work or things you like or want to do above Mine? No matter how long you serve Me, the secret and the formula is always constant‚ it never changes: "Not my will but Thine be done." In total abandonment and total slavery to Me is complete happiness, contentment, and fulfillment. (End of message from Jesus)

Whatever the price…


83. The real key is desire—a desire above all else, which draws you to Me. This is what I meant when I told the parable of the pearl of great price. There was something the man wanted above all else, for he knew how precious it was and how greatly he would rejoice if he possessed it. So he put all his efforts into obtaining it. When he did, he marveled, he rejoiced at what a great treasure he had!

84. Hearing from Me and getting My counsel, receiving My seeds from My Words, is that pearl of great price. It must be obtained at all costs. You must be willing to give up whatever it takes in order to get it. If it means giving up your sleep, giving up free time, giving up an extra hour of work, giving up going to bed early, giving up reading other material, giving up watching television, listening to the news, playing games‚ or whatever it is—that's what it takes! That's what you have to do. You have to go out there and search for it and obtain it with everything that is within you. When you do that, you will cherish it all the more because of what you gave up to get it. (End of message from Jesus.)

Taking off the mask

(Excerpts of a letter to Mama from an SGA: )

85. I spoke with [my shepherd] yesterday, and some things came out in our conversation that scared me and made me wonder how extensively I've compromised in my life. I wondered why I had the views I did and why I continued to hold on to them. So this morning I took some time to pray about these things, and the Lord gave me a very heavy message about the extent of my surrender to the Enemy in my life. It's very convicting, and I have a long list of questions to take to the Lord for further instruction and help. I also feel I need to ask for prayer and for help to climb back up to where the Lord wants me to be.

86. I've included my prayer because it described some of the attitudes I have and why I think that way. If this can be a blessing to others, I don't mind it being shared.

87. Here's my prayer and the Lord's answers:

88. (Prayer:) Jesus, the lies and confusion of the Enemy are really difficult to see through. Every time I start thinking about changing or tightening up in my personal life, I get hit with this open-minded trip. I don't know what questions to ask to get the answers I need. Please give me the questions to ask You. Please cement things in my mind. Help me to see things as You see them. Please‚ Jesus, I don't want to be extreme in my actions, but I also want to do whatever is necessary to get back to where You want my convictions to be. I want to dispel the lies of the Enemy. I want to hear Your voice clearly. Please speak to me. Please open my mind to Your spirit. Rebuke the lies of the Enemy that try to come in and make things seem too fanatical, too radical‚ too extreme, even "cultish."

89. Jesus, the fact of the matter is that right now I feel good about how the Family has opened up and become more tolerant. I don't really agree with the extremism that we've had before in the Family. That's my point of view; I'm not saying it's right, but that's how I see things. But I don't want to just swallow a lie of the Enemy, and if this attitude or parts of this attitude are wrong, please show me. Please help me to be yielded and to be willing to accept Your Words no matter how radical or extreme they might seem. Please speak to me. Give me an open heart, an open spirit, a yielded, humble heart that wants to hear Your Words. Please, dear Love, there is nothing more important right now!

90. You've asked the Family to tighten up their convictions and obey the Words of David. Here's another lie of the Enemy that attacks me whenever I think about this: I often think that many of the things that Dad did were because of his personality, because of his being an Aquarian and their extreme moods. Sometimes I feel he went too far in his extremes. Maybe it's just familiarity. I don't feel this way about Mama, because she is in general much more balanced in how she presents things. But I do have this lie of the Enemy attacking me frequently, so please cut through that and help me to be willing to see past it and receive Your message clearly. In Jesus' name, I ask. Please, I need Your Words to set me straight. Amen.

91. (Jesus speaking:) You have fallen prey to the attacks of the Enemy, the more subtle attacks of, "Let's be more normal, let's be more rational and not so extreme, let's be more accepted and not so outcast." These are traps of the Enemy that you have fallen into because you've wanted to be accepted and well thought of. You've wanted to be proud of what you do and not looked down on like you're weird or strange. You've wanted to be respected, to be a part of something that people look up to and admire.

92. For these reasons you've compromised and let numerous little seeds of compromise be planted in your heart and life, and they've grown. Seeds of compromise grow quickly because it is so logical‚ so normal, and so understandable. Seeds like this creep in slowly, but once they start to grow‚ they spread quickly throughout your system and begin to choke the life out of you.

93. You've been ashamed to be too radical. You've been embarrassed to be called out completely from this world. You've longed for some measure of acceptance, some common ground, which you can tell your relatives and friends that you have and that you're not so weird. This has been your first mistake. You lost your desire to be called out. You lost your desire to be different, and instead embraced every opportunity to hold ideas similar to the world, to embrace movies which are popular, to resist control and be rebellious. You've opened your life up like an open book to have all sorts of compromises written therein, in order to assure the reader that you're not such a radical piece of literature and that you can be accepted and read and not burned and outlawed.

94. I began to write in your pages. I was the One Who wrote the texts of your life, but you as a manuscript refused to record some of My more radical doctrines for fear of rejection. You were afraid that should I continue recording My messages in their most radical form, you would be shunned by readers, that people would look at you and call you weird or strange or just plain outlandish. So you refused to keep letting Me write My dropped-out doctrines in your book‚ and opened it instead to others to write their opinions and views on My Words, to "balance things out," as you put it.

95. But the reality is that what started out as a neatly written story of My inspiration has turned out to be a tawdry tale of compromises! There is very little that is now interesting in your book‚ because you hold similar views to other books which have been written by others who are compromised and who are also rejecting My radical views. You've taken the good and turned it into a gray smudge of confusion, so that the truth is masked by a series of gray strokes across the page that have obscured My Words in your heart.

96. This is an important book—a book I wanted to use to show the world a sample of My face—but now I am ashamed to be seen as the author of such confusion. I'm ashamed of you, My love, for you have been ashamed of Me. You've hidden your light under a bushel and have hidden My face from those around you, and have instead placed a featureless mask on your face—a mask which has no form, no color, no features. It is a white and gray mask of delusion. You've tried to show a plain face to the rest of the world and to those around you. You've tried to show a face that was as similar as you could be without being black and grimy. You put on a mask to try to match others who wear these masks to hide their real selves and the real beliefs behind their mask in order to be one with all.

97. This "open-minded" nonsense has suffused every feature of your face. You've been afraid to have eyes, for fear that someone would say they're the wrong color or too small or too big. You've been afraid to have a mouth, for fear that it would say something that would reveal your true nature. Instead you've painted for yourself an eyeless, mouthless, featureless mask‚ a white sheet of nothingness, so that none can see what you stand for, so that none can determine where you're coming from‚ so that none can see that you are Mine.

98. This is the fruit of compromise in your life. You've worn this mask almost continually in recent months as you've slipped further and further into the notion that it's not good or "normal" to be so called-out and dedicated, but that it's more acceptable to be featureless and formless. You've let yourself sink deep into the sleepy dream world of nothingness, where there are no convictions, where no sharp and distinguishable features jut out from your mask to show who you really are.

99. Are you content to be in limbo? Are you content to be in this state? Do you long to be nothing more than a blank mask, which will not be remembered nor affect anyone for good? Instead of being a good influence, will you become a negative one? I tell you now that while your mask may seem featureless for the moment, it will not remain this way should you continue down this path of compromise. You will begin to show features, but they will not be Mine; they will be dark and ugly as you fall deeper into the traps of the Evil One who seeks to imprint his face upon your blank mask.

100. Whose face do you want imprinted on your mask—Mine, or that of the god of this world? The god of this world does not have a featureless mask; his mask is morbid, dark, and ugly! It bears the shape of his contorted and perverted face. Is that the face you would have painted onto your mask? Or would you turn toward Me and reflect My face? Would you even let go of your mask altogether? This would be the greater sacrifice for you, for it would not be holding up a mask; it would be having My Spirit imprinted on your spirit so that you no longer have an independent spirit but you have My Spirit in yours. You would no longer hold up a form of godliness in an attempt to be a sample of My Spirit, while behind that mask you remain undecided and featureless. You would have no mask‚ no cover–up. You would have the truth displayed on your face—the truth of My face.

101. Are you willing to drop the mask? Are you willing to turn to Me and forsake the notion of being "normal," and instead pick up the banner of being radical and dropped out? Are you willing to forsake your own ideas of how your life should be and let Me change your face to look like Mine, so you don't look like you, but you look like Me, and the face you show is not your own but rather Mine?

102. This is a decision you must carefully consider. Right now you are in need of tearing out some of the pages that have been written in your life and having your mind rewired. Are you willing to go through this? Are you willing to become an open book for others to see what I have written there? Or will you remain closed to Me and open instead to the "rational" views of this world?

103. Let me reveal to you a secret: What appears to be normal and rational is only the start; it's a false front that the Enemy uses to gain access to your pages. Once he has that access, his writings will become consistently darker and more filthy. They will become radically opposed to My writings in your book. They will begin to contradict and lie against and speak ill of all that I have said in this book. You will begin to despise My Words and you will take on the radically opposing ideas of Satan.

104. Is that your intent? For if this is, Nothing, Void, and Confusion will write, and your pages will be darkened by the hand that writes through them. Today they may seem to be mild and normal, but tomorrow they will be a little darker, and progressively darker, until no longer is their ink gray and lightly written, but dark, and your pages scored and creased with their pens. This is the face of Darkness. These are the influences that wish to leave their story on your page. Will you let them write, or will you shun them and close your book at their attempts to tell their tale? You have this decision now within your hand. This is the choice you must make.

105. But I tell you this: Whichever decision you make will cause drastic change within your life. If you remain undecided‚ that's the same as refusing Me. And if you refuse Me, the darkness will begin to write more quickly than ever before, and you will rapidly make downward progress till you no longer seek after the light, but after the darkness and the evils of this world.

106. I lay before you a decision. There is a blank page facing this page which bears the scribbles of Satan along with the writings of My hand. It bears reinterpretations, misinterpretations, and countering comments next to each of My statements. But beside this page lays an open page, a blank page. Who will your writer be? (End of message from Jesus)

107. (Prayer:) Jesus, it's true, I've gotten many heavy warnings from You, but I haven't done much about them. I'm also very hesitant to pray the "whatever it takes" prayer because I'm afraid of what You will do. I know I need Your help, I need help to make this progress. I've been battling at it so long that it seems that I'm just not capable of making it any more. Every time You ask me to pull up my socks or to do what You've asked me to do in order to be what You want me to be‚ it's a very big struggle for me and I don't really do it.

108. I try to minimize the things You've asked me to forsake‚ and I try to follow to some extent, but I never really go all the way or decide to fully follow. I decide to start in that direction, to throw off a little baggage here or there, but never really dropping everything and humbling myself fully before You in order to make the grade.

109. I'm hesitant to even say the words; I'm wary‚ afraid, and scared of what You'll do. But, Jesus‚ I know I need to do it. If You can teach me these lessons and put me in a position where I have to hold on to You and I have to grow and overcome my laid-back attitude, then please do it. Please, Jesus, do whatever it takes to wake me up and to help me make permanent progress!

110. Jesus, those words, "Do whatever it takes," really, really scare me! I don't know why, but I'm afraid You're going to do something really big that will hurt someone, or I'll have some big accident. Please give me faith to trust You. I don't feel able to hold on long enough through a battle. I don't feel I have the strength to do what You want me to do. I feel it's all too much for me, that I'd rather not take on the mantle You want to give me, and that You'll just be wasting Your time. But I recognize that as a lie of the Enemy. I know You can help me make it, You can help me overcome, You can help me make the changes and the victories in my life—even if it means that I need extra shepherding, even if it means daily talk times, daily counsel sessions to help me see where I'm going wrong.

111. Jesus, do whatever it takes! I open my life to Your hand. And while I fear for what these words will initiate, I know You are a loving God and You will do whatever You know is best for me and what will help me the most. Please do what You need to. Please give me the faith to say yes and to yield to Your hand. I don't want to continue failing You, but if You don't help me, I will keep failing You and I will fail right on out of the Family.

112. Jesus, help me through this time! Help me to do as You have asked me to do. Help me to take the standard of Your Word to heart, and help me to learn to love it.

113. (Jesus speaking:) My love, My darling, don't think that I want to hurt you, nor the work. Don't worry that this will be more than you can bear, for though it will be tough, it will be what you need. I will open the doors for you to receive greater shepherding‚ and‚ yes, some mistakes will help you get there. But I will give you all the support and help you need to make these changes so you can be what I'm asking you to be.

114. It won't be easy; it will take time, and it will take sacrifices—in some cases great sacrifice—but if you truly want to be what I want you to be, you will take hold of these experiences and I will help you and break you and remold you. I will give you the words you need, and the friendship and support of those who can help you the most. I will bring you to your knees so you will be able to have the right perspective on things. I will help you to make this progress if you will but give Me the go-ahead. If you say yes to the question I'm asking you, then I will kick into full gear to help you make this change, and I will help you make it. Okay?

115. I love you and I'm not going to hurt you—I'm going to help you! Sometimes the bush needs trimming so it can grow back straight again. I have trimmed you before, but you've insisted on growing in whatever fashion you have chosen; you don't see how I can ask you to grow this way or that way, so you rebel and grow your own way.

116. You'll need to yield in every area of your life. You'll need to let the shepherds know that you're in need of help‚ and you'll need to open your heart up for change, direction, and help. You'll need to humble yourself and forsake your own pride and ask Me to help you start to overcome and become what I want you to be. You'll need to be willing to open the doors of your heart so that My love can shine through.

117. It's not going to be easy‚ and I'm going to ask you to give up what you love the most—your independence—and that, My love, will break you. That will cause you to grow in love and will break down the walls that have grown up between you and others and My will in your heart.

118. You want to be special. You want to be different. You don't want to have to follow all the rules. Well, now is the time to forsake that notion and be just like everyone else, and follow the rules that I've set out for both you and the Family. It's time to obey in your movie watching and not watch unrecommended movies. It's time to forsake the computer games that have crept back into your life and your heart. And, yes, it's time to open your heart and life up to My shepherding and the shepherding of those who can help you.

119. I'm also going to ask you to do more around the house‚ to help more with the humble tasks and with being a blessing in the Home with the kids, the cooking‚ and the menial chores. These are things I'm going to ask of you and things that you'll need to be prepared to accept in your life if you wish to grow.

120. I will not take from you My love for you‚ nor our connection. Our connection will remain strong, and will grow stronger as the time passes and you come to love Me more. I will give you what you need during this time and I will take from you those things which you don't need, or that are a distraction to the purpose of re–creating you. You will have to willingly let these things go, and you will have to surrender your pride and individuality into My hand. I will give you blessings, but I will also give you battles so that you might see the balanced shepherding of My hand.

121. So take heart now. Take time to love Me, and know that I will do all things right. I will do as much as you let Me do. If you give Me all, I will in return give you all; if you only surrender half, then I'll only give you half. But if you give everything, the rewards and the remaking will be great, and you will be so much happier on the other side of this mountain which you will face!

122. Take heart in the knowledge that I will never leave you nor forsake you. I will always be with you even in the darkest moments of trying. I will be there for you through everything and anything. You will always have Me to hang onto and to bring you through. I love you that much. (End of message from Jesus.)

The pain passes, but the beauty remains!


123. I want to share with you a beautiful open-heart prayer that one of our young members of WS recently prayed. She had been going through a time of lesson learning and getting back to her First Love, and in conjunction with that the Lord had asked her to forsake a love relationship. He made it clear that He wanted her full attention and that she needed a time of being undistracted in order to be strengthened spiritually. While she knew it was the Lord and wanted to do it, she understandably had a hard time leaving it behind. This prayer she prayed was a milestone and brought a breakthrough in the spirit for her.

124. I'm sharing it with you not because I'm promoting leaving behind love relationships, or saying that there's anything wrong with them when they're within the Lord's highest will. But there have been and will continue to be times in each of our lives when the things the Lord asks us to forsake, or the changes He asks us to make, come with a significant personal sacrifice. This is something that the Lord does with all His children who are dedicated to Him and want His very best. Everyone who really loves and serves the Lord will at some time in their life be asked to give up something very precious to them. The Lord does this as a test; He does it to see if we love Him enough to make a big sacrifice for Him; He does it to draw us closer to Him and help us put Him first; and there are also usually reasons specific to the situation why He asks it of us. Putting the Lord and His work first is one of our foundation principles, something we still believe in and practice out of love for our wonderful Husband. It's never easy at the time, but the Lord really blesses and honors it, and once you've come through to the other side, you realize that not only was it worth it, but that in fact it was necessary to bring you back to the place of complete yieldedness and humility and being clay in the Potter's hand once again.

125. The Lord hinges a lot on the decisions we make for Him—whether or not we choose to yield and give something completely to Him often determines future rewards‚ blessings, fruitfulness‚ anointing, happiness, etc. He can't give us those blessings and rewards in full measure when we have held something back from Him. And by the same token, He is able to pour them out more abundantly than ever when we freely and wholeheartedly give Him whatever it is He's asking of us. Sometimes it's so difficult, you can wonder if you'll even live through it and ever be happy again. But I guarantee you that the Lord's way is best, and the quicker and sooner you yield completely, the sooner deep happiness and satisfaction and the many blessings and rewards of obedience find you. I know that sounds callous and unfeeling if you're really experiencing a difficult forsake-all or change. But it's the truth, and it's been tried and proven many times. There's just no way around giving it all up, and then letting the Lord replace it with whatever He knows is best.

126. In this dear girl's case, while she had tried to give up this love relationship like the Lord was asking her to, she was still hanging on to it in her heart. She realized that she was giving it up conditionally—in other words, telling the Lord that she would give it to Him if He promised to give it back to her in the future. Because of her indecision and lack of full commitment, the emotional battles she was constantly going through began taking a toll on her body, and her health began suffering as well. It was a tremendous relief to her when she got to the point where she saw clearly how she had not given it up completely‚ and was able to pray this prayer in full yieldedness. It brought about an instant change in her emotional and physical health, and while she still had battles from time to time, there was a marked improvement, there was a victory!

127. I pray this prayer is an encouragement and a strength to any of you who might be going through something like this. After praying this prayer, this woman received beautiful promises and reassurances from the Lord, and continued to hear from Him daily on her path to victory. Her channel to her Husband was her salvation through this time, and gave her the strength day by day. I wanted to share her prayer with you as it's a beautiful example of yieldedness, and I'm confident that the Lord will speak to you with beautiful, complete and specific promises for your situation as well, if you ask Him. Dear Husband, help us all to be willing to give You freely whatever You ask. Whatever You do‚ You do it in love—and in the end, even if it's terribly difficult, we'll find that it was worth it all—and not just worth it, but things will be better than ever!

(Note: Because she refers to the person she was in a relationship with, we've given him the initial C.)

128. (Prayer:) I don't know where to begin this prayer, Jesus, except that I'm tired of taking steps backward rather than forward. I'm tired of fighting for what I think I deserve, need, and want, as opposed to completely accepting what You're doing in my life and what You want of me. I've been stubborn and self–centered‚ and I've not been doing everything You've asked me to.

129. Yes, I've wanted to follow what You've said‚ but I've made it so contingent on what the end result would be. I realize now that that's the approach I've been taking all along: "I'll do this for You, if You'll do that for me." Oh, Jesus, I'm so sorry; I've been so wrong.

130. I look now at what this stubbornness has done to me, where I've ended up for trying to push things my way, and it's a sad and pitiful state. My spirit feels defeated‚ my body is all but collapsing, and I've even allowed myself to believe that there's no reason to move forward any longer.

131. Your plan was not to see me suffer unnecessarily, but rather to grant me the victories I've long desired. So if I feel I'm suffering now, the question that I really must ask is what am I doing wrong?

132. The truth is, I have been so wrong!—Wrong in the anger I've felt, wrong in the way I've wanted to find something or someone to blame this all on, wrong in the way I've tried to hold on and salvage what I could of C's and my relationship. I've been wrong in the unfair feeling I've been harboring‚ wrong in the way I've given in and allowed my body to take the toll of my emotions, wrong in not fighting like I should. And mostly wrong in not believing and standing on Your Words and promises like I should've been‚ but trying to find a reason to make them be what I wanted them to be all along.

133. I've caused enough ruin in my life and I've placed enough blame elsewhere; I have to move forward now. I'm fighting for my life—both spiritual and physical—and I will do everything I can to not surrender to the Enemy my usefulness to You that he's been trying to steal away for so long.

134. You called me to serve You, Jesus, and I answered that call; I said that I would serve You no matter what. I've wanted to go the distance for You, but I've also allowed myself to be tied down and limited. I've attached myself to C and have refused to go forward unless You guaranteed that I would have him back. This has only hurt me more, because You wanted me free—free from all ties—free of my attachment to C.

135. I've wanted C as a proof that You loved me enough to give me someone who would love me in the physical, someone to share my life with. But C's love for me was as nothing compared to Your love for me. Your love doesn't fade, it's not altered by time or circumstance; it's constant, enduring, and unconditional. Yours is the only love I really need.

136. When it really comes down to it, I value my service to You, my love for You, my place in this Family, and my life, far above my love for C and above my friendship with him. So right now I choose to despise my love for C‚ what he and I shared, and all the dreams I had, in order to do Your will. I count it as nothing compared to what I have in You.

137. This is my stand‚ Jesus; this is what my heart wants—to follow You completely. I asked before that You would ease the emotions that I had for him, but now I ask that You remove everything from my heart and mind that is causing me to hold on to him. I don't want it any longer. I don't want to feel hurt, emotions, questions, emotional love, attachment, or anything like that toward him. I want it gone!!

138. When I look at him, I don't want the memories of what we shared to haunt me; I want to look at him and see another brother in the Home. I don't want to worry myself or care about whether or not he and I will even be friends, or what he chooses in life. I want him to no longer have a gauge on my life. I release him. I don't want there to be any more "me and him"; I am only Yours‚ Jesus. C can no longer be a part of my life like he was before.

139. I want a new start on all of this. I want to give C back to You completely this time, no looking back. Help me now as I make this commitment. I call on the power of the keys to be there for me, to give me the grace and faith to fight on‚ and mostly the peace that comes from doing Your will alone. Amen. (End of prayer.)

Water Nymph vs. Landlubber


140. This message was received by one of our dear SGAs in WS. The pull of the world that the Lord speaks to her about was the knowledge to be had in higher education, and wanting acclaim as a writer. But please ask the Lord to help you apply it to whatever might be pulling on you or tempting to draw you away.

141. (Prayer: ) Lord‚ You told me You wanted me to give the entire rest of the year to You, putting aside the distractions of trying to add to my experience and training as a writer. You said You had a word picture to give me.


142. That's right. I need all of you this year—A-L-L. If you truly want to know how you can best serve Me, how you can best please Me, how you can best put yourself in a position to be propelled down the very center of the path of My will, this is the only way. You have to forsake all, every day, every week, and every month. You have to continually remind yourself of your goals and your commitments, and renew your loyalties to Me.

143. Picture the path of My will as a great flowing river. It's strong and ever moving. It's wide because people can choose to swim down any part of it they choose—the very center, where the current is fastest, either side of center where the current is slower, or right near the embankment, where they are more likely to run into rocks and other obstructions in the shallows that impede their progress.

144. You don't just stay in one part of the river—the center, the sides, or by the riverbanks—all your life. Your position in the ever-flowing river of My will changes from day to day, depending upon your choices. When you're in the habit of saying yes to Me, no matter what‚ this places you in the center, and you're hurtled along at a great and wonderful speed, because you've told Me that I can do whatever I want with you.

145. At this time in your life‚ you need to evaluate your place in the river. I know that once you realize that you've been spending some time in the slow currents, even some time in the shallows, you will be eager to get back into the very center.

146. Sometimes people drift toward the shallows of the river of My will simply because they lack a vision and a solid purpose in their service for Me. They're not impressed with the urgency of the job, or the importance of drinking in and acting upon My Word and the new moves of My Spirit. You, however, are one who has drifted toward the shallows because of distractions on the riverbank. You've been lured from the fastest currents of My will by the temptation of worldly knowledge, worldly professions, and the worldly pursuit of fame and fortune.

147. There are lovely lilies on the riverbank, representing these distractions. Sometimes you think that you could just hop out of the river real quick, smell one of those lilies, then jump back in the river before I even missed you. But now what you're finding is that the lilies are growing higher up the steep embankment. They seem close until you crawl out of the river and try to reach for them. Then you find that you have to crawl quite a ways up, and that in the process you're getting muddy, you're getting cut by sharp rocks in your little journey, and now that you're out of the river, you're left confused and wondering if you could spend part of your journey on the riverbank and part in the river.

148. There are seemingly reasonable excuses or reasons why this would seem okay: You would learn more about the wide world around you; you would learn how the non-river-dwellers survive and live their lives; you might even get a bit of recognition out in the open on the riverbank, as opposed to your anonymity in the river where nobody sees you and you sometimes feel you're like a mindless bit of straw flowing along the fast current.

149. But this is where you're forgetting how you even got this far along in the journey of life. How far along would you be if you had just walked along the riverbank‚ living a secular life, striving for fame and fortune and to please and satisfy only yourself? You would be far, far back. As it is, because you've given your life to Me so far‚ I've been able to propel you along the river of life, the river of My will, at an incredibly fast rate.

150. At an age in life when your peers are still floundering around wondering what they are going to do and how they're going to make enough money to fund their dreams of the next twenty years, you are living many of your dreams already. At those times when your peers were sweating away on the riverbank to get an official education, you were hurtling along the river of My will, learning skills as you went, and gaining a rich education through your travels. Now, as your peers on the riverbank are busy hooking themselves up to the great mill of a life of conformity, striving to accumulate wealth, and hoping that the long, hard journey of survival won't kill their youthful dreams entirely, you are free, free‚ free to do My will!

151. Yes, your freedom comes with a price—but whoever shall lose his life for My sake shall find it! Haven't you discovered that? It's all a matter of what your priorities in life are. If you try to run around finding happiness and fulfillment for yourself, it will elude you. But if instead you go through life trying your best to serve Me and make others happy‚ happiness and fulfillment will chase and catch up with you. It's the great paradox of life, and so many people on the riverbank haven't discovered the answer to this apparent contradiction.

152. But you know; you've seen My wonderful paradox in action for years! And now I'm not about to let you become a landlubber without putting up a fight to keep you! Oh, I know you've never intended to become a landlubber permanently, but your few forages for lilies of knowledge on the riverbank have planted seeds in your heart. You wonder what it would be like, how successful you would be.

153. The river is so spacious, because so few choose to submit themselves entirely to My will, trusting Me for the speed with which they travel and the places the river might take them. Even though the landlubber's fate is such a difficult one, filled with tears and hard labor, people would rather choose a journey in which they can control the pace—even if it is a very slow one—and in which they can wander anywhere and pick any flower of self-indulgent distraction they please. And then they wonder why they aren't happier and more fulfilled.

154. Having come so far in the spirit—within the center of the river of My will—do not now seek to become complete in the flesh, as a landlubber on the riverbank. I have so much in store for you‚ and you can trust that whatever you accomplish within the center of My will, will give you lasting satisfaction. You will never regret giving to others, serving Me‚ and laying up treasures in Heaven.

155. I could let you go without saying anything, but you've come so far in the difficult decisions of surrender and yieldedness, which are what you need to be truly at home in the center of My will. There is so much to do and so few who are able and willing to do it. And I promise, you will learn much more and at a faster rate staying in the center of the fast current of My will than you could ever learn from browsing the lilies of distraction on the riverbank.

156. Those lilies wilt and die very quickly once you pick them, just as the worldly knowledge of today grows old very quickly, and in order to stay ahead and earn money and be successful‚ you have to constantly inform yourself of the System's ways of the flesh.

157. Haven't I taken good care of you so far? Aren't you happy? I know you are! I know you love what you do‚ that you count yourself so blessed that I've put you in a place where you can use your gifts and talents. This will only become truer as time goes on. You'll never regret giving the remainder of this year to Me, or the next, or the next.

158. Just decide at the beginning of each year that you'll give all of yourself to Me, no holds barred, for that year. First evaluate what I've done with your life in the previous year. Look back and count your blessings, and see how far the river of My will has brought you in the space of a year. And if you see that I've kept My promise to give you the challenge and the fulfillment and the happiness you desire—and I will keep My promises—then you can turn to the new year with great resolution to resist the lilies of distraction once again.

159. Each year those lilies will take on a different form‚ but the principle will always remain the same. There's nothing you can gain from the knowledge in the landlubber's world that I can't give you Myself. I've already proved that through the fact that you, having never gone to university or taken extensive writing courses, have received and written an entire book from the spiritual realm! Now you're on your next one. But to be honest, you can never finish this one as a landlubber. You have to see things in the spirit if you truly want to write great things—things that are different, books that stand out from the millions that are written from a landlubber's perspective.

160. Sure, you might not be able to write like famous landlubber so-and-so, but you can just remind yourself that you want to be different‚ you want to see things that no one else has seen and no one else has thought of. And the way you can do this is by reveling in the cool, all-encompassing, swiftly moving, refreshing, mysterious, and awe-inspiring current of the river of God.

161. Be a total water nymph! Reject the chorus of landlubbers who, in all the advice they so freely dispense in their writings‚ are simply saying, "Be like us!" You belong in the river; never forget that. You were born in the river‚ raised in the river, and even though you've spent your whole life in the river‚ I promise there will always be new challenges, new thrills, and new places the river will take you. (End of message from Jesus)

What does that sword mean to you?


162. This next message was received by someone who was asking the Lord about the trend that some young people are into of decorating their room with swords or knives. The Lord's answer is very interesting, and before you close yourself off, convinced that it's something you don't want to hear, ask the Lord to help you be open-minded to His truth, because it seems to be something of significance that could have a big effect on your spiritual life.


163. There's an ever-increasing spirit of violence and disregard for life—personal life and that of others—in the world today, and this spirit is gaining more and more control throughout the Earth. The Enemy's primary intention is to destroy‚ and this spirit and attitude will become progressively stronger as the world steadily approaches the end of all time when life will have come to the point of least respect, and where the attitude and outlook of especially the more violent, dominant nations and peoples of the world will only be that of survival of the fittest.

164. It's the pinnacle of so-called evolution, killing each other off or dominating and controlling with the strongest armies, the greatest prowess, the biggest weapons‚ and the sharpest swords—the seeming conquerors believing it's designed for them to live, while the weak or nonaligned are only to be trodden upon, killed off, or left to die.

165. The world is getting continually bolder and more outspoken in its pursuit of strength and power to the hurt and neglect of the need of others. It's the exaltation of pride and self. It's saying, "I'm fit. I'm strong. I'm able. I am worthy to live and to be, whereas you are not. You shouldn't be. You can't be, especially if you're in the way of what I want to do and be."

166. The question here is how this attitude may be affecting those of you who are called to be separate and different from the world, My loving, gentle, giving children, examples of Me on Earth. Here is the extreme answer: Those who are not as strong or well versed in their conviction concerning the ways of love and the real power of spiritual strength are more easily fascinated by this spirit. Some are more susceptible than others. This fascination for violence and the spirit of pride is sometimes manifested in the fascination for guns, swords and weaponry of the world.

167. There are many evil spirits in the world today, and in the flood of iniquity they are rampant, trying to seduce any who will heed the cry of their sirens enticing them to "be strong, be powerful‚ dominate." The natural heart of man wants to be seen as strong and able, as being in charge of himself and his destiny. It doesn't come naturally to realize that My way to strength and power is so different than man's. It's easy to succumb to the attitude of the world, failing to realize that the keys I've given to My people unlock a power far beyond carnal comprehension or understanding. The physical at its extremely developed best‚ its most developed state, is absolutely nothing in comparison.

168. Family members are human, of course, but the difference between them and others is they have been handed the keys to the Kingdom—keys of help and care, light and happiness—but also keys of strength, power, and protection, and this is what I would have them concentrate on building and developing. This is what I would that you learn and become adept at using. Almost everyone has an attraction or weakness for some sort of evil; it's bound in the natural heart of man. But it's also something they need to recognize and bring to Me for My help to resist and fight against. I can then make anyone into a new person.

169. The worldly spirit of violence often manifests itself in a fascination for knives or swords, guns or weapons. It's not that guns and knives are bad in themselves‚ but there is a difference between those that are used for the purpose of fulfilling a useful role in life‚ as tools‚ and those that range from the gruesome, designed for killing, gutting or maiming, to the massively destructive. These have a spirit to them that at first may be a simple interest, but if unbridled grows in time to an alluring evil fascination, and finally into an uncontrollable obsession. Most people don't realize what kind of fire they're playing with when they toy with these things and just how great is the darkness they're taking on that comes with them.

170. Many who are interested in knives and swords, like the samurai swords or decorative blades‚ look at them as a decoration or as an art form of sorts, and they can be. Some are well made and have a decorative style; but with many there is a macabre spirit to them. Whether knives designed for street fighting or the beautifully decorative samurai sword, both are designed to kill, to maim, and to hurt. And as beautiful as they look in their nicely designed and decorative cases, their spirit and purpose is the same—to kill, to hurt, to maim, and to destroy. A dangerous beauty is wondrous to behold, but those who desire possession should beware.

171. In the fascination of the workmanship and design, or the inner desire for the ability and prowess to wield it, what most don't fully realize is it's a no-win situation. It's easy to imagine power and prowess‚ to be stronger or braver‚ as the shining knight fighting for good and right; but there usually isn't a real grasp on the reality of what a violent act like that does—not only to the one maimed or killed, but to you and your spirit as well. Those who live by the sword, truly do die by the sword.

172. I have given young people strength and life and vigor, and for many, along with that comes a natural feeling of invincibility, with no ends or limits. If this is amplified through a fascination for weapons and the fighting that goes along with them, it can bring on a hardness and a callousness, an insensitivity to others, especially to the weaker‚ the more needy, or to those who need help‚ encouragement, and attention.

173. Now, there are exceptions when someone displays a decorative sword because it reminds them of the sword of the spirit, and the warfare that you fight against the Enemy of your souls, and the power that My Word and My love have in such a battle. There are cases where that is truly the person's intent and thoughts when they look at the sword, and the fruit of it in their lives is love, humility, gentleness, and submission to Me. But I will say quite honestly that those cases are rare. And it's not enough for someone who has a fascination for swords and weapons in general to now justify it by saying that it reminds them of the weapons of Heaven. Those who wish to be pure in spirit and learn to wield the keys and swords of Heaven with skill will take heed, and will seek Me about what is necessary to cleanse their hearts and spirits and take on My mind and My love and My perspective on these matters.

174. My question to those who have or are fascinated with knives or guns is what do they do to you—or for you? How do they affect your attitude and feelings? If you aren't sure, ask Me and I'll show you. Do they help you feel stronger and more in control?—Or do they help you understand others and desire to help or encourage? Ask yourself these questions and open your heart to let Me speak to you to know how I see it. Ask Me how I see this in your life, what I see it doing to your heart, and where it may ultimately be leading you.

175. Little by little and day by day there may not seem to be much of an effect or much difference, but is the Enemy slowly using that as a chink in your armor to seep in the poison of his lies? Are the scales of pride slowly forming over your eyes and heart, filtering all that you see, all that you feel? Is this how the violence in the world around you is affecting you, manifesting itself in you? Is it slowly pulling you away from the strength of weakness‚ the loveliness of compassion‚ the power of love and ultimate faith in Me and My power in you? My strength and power and the weapons in the spirit are the ones that live on for eternity; others are here today, gone tomorrow. That which you are fascinated by will in time consume you if you allow it; it will eventually turn back upon you.

176. I want to encourage you not to confuse spiritual strength and power and My war against evil with physical strength and power. When your heart is right‚ when you can love your enemies and do good to them that despitefully use and persecute you, when you can turn the other cheek and walk the extra mile‚ when you can give a helping hand and share of your time and abundance with those in need, when you have enough love to give your life for the sake of others—when your love and faith are that strong, you can ask Me to do anything for you and I will do it, as you then hold within your hand the keys to the Kingdom and the power that rules and runs the universe! In time of need, for the protection and safety of others in righteous indignation, righteous anger against evil—My Spirit‚ and not that of yourselves—will rise up within you to conquer!

177. Now is the time to learn not the art of war‚ but the art of love, the art of the strength of weakness and the art of tenderness of heart. Learn the art of stalwartness against evil and all its attempted incursions into your life. Learn to have conviction and determination and an unswerving vision for truth and righteousness, a strength that brandishes a soft heart, an open spirit, and a desire to help, to strengthen‚ to support.

178. Give of these things and they will be given back to you. If you give love, you receive love. If you give hardness, you receive hardness in return. If you let pride rule in your life, pride will also rule you. If you let love rule in your life, love will rule you—and real love is what rules the universe. (End of message from Jesus)

Not a joking matter


179. Recently it came to our attention that some of our young people were making light comments and jokes that were pretty unedifying, and in fact damaging spiritually. One of them was convicted to ask the Lord about it in their personal time of hearing from Him, and He gave a very good message.

180. We're the Lord's brides, we're His witness to the world, and we're commissioned to let our lights shine. There's been a lot said in the Letters already about our words and speech, and the Bible is just full of warnings about foolish talk and jesting. Each of you are in the Family because you love the Lord, and you want to do your part to bring the Lord's love to the world. So let's help each other by not voicing things that don't glorify Him, whether by making these kinds of jokes or others which are not edifying—including anything with foul language or cussing‚ etc.

181. As you'll see, the message the Lord gave deals specifically with jokes that have a homosexual twist or tone, but there are probably many other types of humor and commentary which the Lord would have something similar to say about. (This also includes‚ of course, not only the jokes that are shared during conversations, but also the kinds of jokes you share by e-mail with your friends.) Let's do all we can to minimize these incursions into our lives which weaken our defenses. Let's go all out to put on the Lord's mind, and not entertain anything which is not in line with the way He's leading.


182. The curse of sodomy lives on in this world. It is a further sign of the End. There's a trend toward those things which have been banned in My Words. It's rebellion against My will. It's a perversion, an evil feminine spirit which has attacked and continues to attack many.

183. There are legions of Satanic "femmes fatales" out there, spirits who are in Satan's service who seduce men into the evils of this perversion. It's a part of the Devil's plan to get the world to accept the unnatural and ungodly forms of lustful and vile affections, and I am against it! It is not of My Spirit. No matter how much the world tries to say it's normal and natural—it's a perversion‚ plain and simple. It's against My Word, against My natural laws, against everything I have said and done. It's from the Devil.

184. That's why your joking about it is wrong. You shouldn't joke about vices and afflictions of the Devil‚ because that lowers your resistance to these things by desensitizing you to them. You may think that you're just making an innocent comment, a comical quip about it, but by doing so you're tearing down the strong conviction you've grown up with. It is wrong and evil, and the tearing down of your convictions about this is compromise. It's accepting the views of the world.

185. I'm not talking about the poor victims of this vice; I'm talking about the evil spirits that are behind this sin. The act is perverse and abominable in My sight, and those who practice it need deliverance. I'm not saying you should start a gay-bashing trend. The sinners are not the ones I hate; I hate the sin. You should too. So let this ungodly influence be washed from your conversations, and let not your spirits accept this thing that is so vile to Me.

186. Rebuke it and resist the urge to say something about it. The only things you should be saying are things that help to build up your resistance against it, lest the continual dropping wear away the stone. The Enemy will use anything, even seemingly harmless jokes, to wear away at your convictions—and it may frighten you to see how far astray such comments can lead you or some other weaker soul.

187. Are you fighting with Me or against Me? Are you building up My defenses, or are you tearing them down? Are your comments fighting against the evils of this world, or are you embracing them? Your words are real things, and they will have an effect whether you believe it or not. Do you want to be responsible for another stumbling? You will be if you make comments that tear down the fabric of your defenses. Whose side are you on? (End of message from Jesus.)

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