KEYWORDS: lord, prayer, things, pride, life, spirit

United Prayer Power! (Combined Version)

Karen Zerby

By MariaMaria #617 CM/FM 3404 11/01

Dearest Family,

1. United prayer is such a powerful weapon; it's no wonder the Enemy fights so hard to keep us from asking for it!

2. I want to share with you a few of the requests and prayers of some of the members of WS, and also some of the prayers that our dear COs prayed at the summit when they had the opportunity to ask for united prayer. I didn't pick these because they're better or more outstanding than any others. I just took the most recent ones from our Home and other units, from those who asked for prayer in the weeks before I prepared this GN for you, and the ones that the COs prayed. I tried to pick a variety, but each prayer was beautiful, heartfelt, and outstanding in its own way!

3. Each of the dear ones who came before the body with their requests humbled themselves to share these intimate details with all those present. I'm sure they'd also be willing to share their lessons with you with their names on them, but to keep things simple, I've chosen to publish them without names. Please concentrate on asking the Lord to speak to you through these prayers and messages, rather than trying to figure out who it is, or trying to figure out the personal details, or allowing the Enemy to come in with critical thoughts.

4. It would be easy for the Enemy to try to convince you that, seeing how human and fallible those in WS and your COs are, maybe you shouldn't really trust them or pour your heart out to them. He'll tell you that maybe you should be more careful or scrutinize their motives more. The Enemy would love to attack the Word and tell you that maybe the prophecies in the GNs are tainted because those who receive them aren't perfect.

5. If you get hit with thoughts like that, recognize them for what they are—an attack on the Word and your leadership. Of course your shepherds make mistakes! Of course the ones in WS make mistakes too! They need help and prayer and shepherding and Word time and all the rest—just like you do. If anything, hearing their beautiful, honest and open confessions and prayers should make you love and admire and pray for them all the more, knowing that they don't just accept problems in their life‚ but they're desperate and humble enough to confess them and get prayer, and they're on the attack to change! So please don't allow the Enemy to come in and detract from the beautiful sample and benefit that this can be to you personally by making you critical or self-righteous about the mistakes and weaknesses of others. Instead, admire them and respect them for having the humility and desperation to ask for prayer, and thus be delivered and strengthened!

6. If you haven't had united prayer in a while, it might be good to pray personally and ask the Lord what areas you need to be strengthened in, and then request prayer for them from your Home. Our folks often ask the Lord to give their prayer request in prophecy, and then they just read it before all, sometimes with added explanation. That makes it real easy. (For more encouragement about asking for prayer, and the promises and benefits of united prayer, please see "Freedom Through United Prayer," ML #3172, GN 776; "New Year's Prayers and Goals," ML #3177, GN 782; "Leaping the Hurdles‚ Part 2," ML #3341:98-108, 132–135, GN 935.)

7. Whenever someone asks for united prayer, we try to take time right then to hear from the Lord for them, for their encouragement. Usually one or two people will give their messages publicly, and if others also receive something, they'll type it up later and send it to the person. In some cases I've included those messages for you here. It's always wonderful to hear the Lord's confirmation that the victory has been won, and He always has something special to encourage the dear one who asked for prayer. Often He'll give promises, or specific instruction and counsel for the future. You might find it helpful to take time to hear from the Lord unitedly for those who ask for prayer in your Home as well.

8. Here now are the most recent prayer requests from folks in WS‚ followed by some of the prayers of your COs while at the summit. [Note: These prayer requests were all given within about a two-month period‚ in the first months of 2001, and that is when we originally prepared this GN for you. We weren't able to get this to you sooner due to all the other important material that we needed to send you, but we pray it's still a blessing to you.] Please note that at the time most of these requests were given, we weren't yet using the keys and calling on their power, which is why they aren't mentioned very much in these requests. Please do remember to call on the power of the keys for deliverance and change in your personal life! Our wonderful Husband has granted you the power of the keys‚ which can help you to change when nothing else can! Praise the Lord!

Prayer Against Pride

(One of our young computer programmers‚ who is very gifted in his ministry:)

9. I'd like to come before everyone and ask for prayer against pride. Before you say, "Yeah, right‚ everyone has pride," let me explain. This is a lot different, because about a year and a half ago, my pride almost took me out of the Family. The Lord has helped me to make changes in my life, but it's an ongoing struggle, and each time it's a big fight. So that's why I want to humble myself and ask for united prayer.

10. My pride is manifested in wanting to take the credit for things that I do or accomplish, or different things that I'm capable of. I really do know in my heart that it's not me; it's all the Lord, and the Lord has told me so many times that it's all Him. The Lord said that He hasn't even made me naturally capable of doing this work or given me the physical gifts to do it, but He gave me the connection with Him that allows me to pray about and get answers and the spirit helpers to help with what I need, and every little detail is just the Lord. And it's so true! I definitely know it‚ because if I try to do something without first getting really desperate with the Lord or really asking for His help, it just doesn't work.

11. It's not like I have to be convinced that it's the Lord, but the Enemy attacks me at every given opportunity because I was so deeply entrenched in pride before. He tries to get me to think, "Hey, you're pretty cool." For me it's kind of a paradox, actually, because I'm a very negative person about myself and I have been for a long time. I guess I try to prove to others that there's actually something that I can do well, and the Enemy likes to play on that.

12. I also compare a lot with others because I'm not as witty or charming, or I don't have a wonderful personality—there are hundreds of things. I'm very clumsy both mentally and physically. It's actually incredible that I can do the stuff I do. When it comes to other things, I just sort of flop around when I try to figure things out. So I try to compensate by showing that, "Hey, I can do such–and-such," and I try to take credit for things.

13. So I'd like to ask for prayer against wanting to take the credit and wanting to compare myself with others; that I will fight very actively to give the Lord the credit, and actively fight to humble myself. There are always choices that come up, and I always have a choice in each little instance to do the proud thing or the humble thing. It's so difficult for me sometimes‚ incredibly difficult. That's why I need prayer, so that I can make the right choices, because each of those little things sort of map out your climb and your descent.

14. I'd also like to ask for prayer against negativity—to not worry about what others think of me‚ but to just be what the Lord wants me to be.

15. Another prayer request, and another way that I need to humble myself‚ is that a lot of times I really get into my work on a rush program or whatever, and switch into a different mindset and everything becomes distant. It's very difficult for me to reach out to others when I'm like that, but the Lord said that it's part of my humbling and I have to humble myself to be outgoing and to reach out to others and not be self-centered, especially during times when I'm like that. So that's a prayer request, to humble myself. I have a prayer that I'd like to pray:

16. (Prays:) Dear Jesus, my dearest Sweetheart, I love You. I need You. Without You I'd be nothing, nothing at all. I know I can't make it without You. You're marvelous and incredible. Thank You for Your many gifts. Thank You for Your gift of change, and thank You for the power that You give us through united prayer. Thank You for making a fighter out of me and giving me this honored place of service. I'm humbled by all that You pour out on me and how You bless me.

17. I know the battle is too difficult for me. I know that I'd fall under the strain. The Enemy's attacks are relentless‚ and without You I'd barely be crawling along; I'd collapse with every blow. But I know I don't need to fight this alone. I have You by my side‚ as well as spirit helpers and a host of angels who can fight alongside me. I just have to yield and give my all to You and do my part, and You'll do the rest.

18. I ask that I won't tire in this battle against pride. The Enemy won't tire. He won't give up‚ and he's going to keep hammering his advantage. So help me to do the same. I have an incredible advantage in You. Help me to use it.

19. Help me to actively seek to do things that would humble me. Each time I do, it strikes such a blow at the Enemy's plans and schemes. The Devil comes around and tempts me to take the credit, to get into myself. Help me not just to resist it, but to actively take concrete steps to blow him out of the water.

20. Specifically I need You to help me to find ways to give credit to You and others, to humble myself before others and to glorify You rather than this old shell. I also want to reach out more, no matter how difficult or humbling it is, or how much I don't feel like it at any particular instant. (End of prayer.)

(Prophecy received after the Home prayed for him:)

21. (Jesus speaking:) I will honor him who honors Me. As you have humbled yourself in My sight, so will I lift you up, My dear love, and grant you the desires of your heart because you are delighting yourself in Me. You have put your will on My side. You have submitted yourself to Me. You have yielded your all, so I will not fail you, but will give you the strength and the power. As you continue to humble yourself in My sight, I will continue to honor you and grant you the requests that you have asked of Me.

22. My precious son, there is nothing that delights Me more than when you humble yourself before Me, for in humility there is great power. Humility is the power of My love, and it brings about change, just as pride is not of Me and doesn't bring change but destruction. You have taken the right step and you're on the right path, and I am well pleased. I will not fail to grant you your requests. (End of message from Jesus.)

Prayer for a Doctor Visit

(One of our FGA members who suffers from many afflictions and who helps to shepherd our Home shared this prayer request: )

23. I learned an important lesson through my recent chest pains, which the Lord asked me to share with you. I hadn't really been praying and asking the Lord enough about the pains I've been experiencing. I hadn't even asked the Lord if what I had was something serious or not, or if I should see a doctor. I basically just assumed, "Oh, it's just another affliction. I'll get over it. I'm asking for prayer and doing my part‚ so the Lord will take these pains away like He always does." Even when it felt like I was having a heart attack‚ I basically just let it pass, and figured that what I'm experiencing is just gas.

24. The Lord pretty much pushed me into going to see a doctor, and I ended up getting an appointment before I had even been willing to ask Him about it. Lord help me. Once I already had the appointment and I saw how seriously the clinic was taking my symptoms‚ that they wanted to see me right away‚ then I realized I'd better stop and take things more seriously, and (duuuuh!) ask the Lord to speak to me about it. The Lord gave me a good correction about my attitude, which I'll share excerpts of here:

25. (Jesus speaking:) I've allowed you to be touched with the feelings of infirmity and weaknesses of the flesh once again, and I would like to speak to you about how you can be a better sample.

26. It's nothing new to you to have a few aches and pains and afflictions, so you don't tend to be as concerned about it as someone else might be if they were in your shoes. In fact, you find it hard to even be concerned enough about it to come to Me as often as you should. … In some ways, you've become so familiar with having one physical battle after another that you don't come to Me as soon as you should, asking Me to speak to you about it or to give you My counsel. This isn't good.

27. Please don't become so familiar with your physical state that it keeps you from staying desperate and coming to Me about what you're feeling. One of the great blessings of problems, suffering, and pain is that they help to get people desperate and more stirred up in prayer. At least that's normally the case. But if you've become so accustomed to having afflictions that you fail to get stirred up about them, then you're missing out on much of the blessings that are meant to be coming your way through those afflictions.

28. I don't allow afflictions just for the sake of afflicting. It's not that I have any pleasure in seeing My children suffer. I only allow suffering and problems because I know that they will accomplish many things in your life as you draw closer to Me and become more desperate in prayer.

29. If you're not getting desperate in prayer when I allow you to suffer or be afflicted, then, as I said, you're really missing out, and a lot of what you're going through will be in vain, because it won't be accomplishing all that it could be accomplishing in your life and spirit. I don't want you to worry or fear or fret, but I do expect you to come to Me regularly about your afflictions and to hear from Me about them. So please remember that. If you don't get stirred up about these kinds of things, and fervent in prayer about them‚ then I might have to let them become more serious so that you will take things more seriously.…

30. When something is potentially serious, it's not good to keep putting things off. That's not a sample of faith or dependence on Me, and that's not the sample I would have you to be. It's a sample of negligence, not of faith. There's a big difference.

31. Next time something like this happens, something that feels like you could be having a heart attack, don't lean on your own understanding. If your condition doesn't change soon, you should ask Me whether it's serious or not. If I encourage you that everything is okay and that it's nothing serious‚ and that you should just keep asking for prayer and trusting Me to deliver you, then share that with the Home. That's a good sample.

32. If I instruct you that because it could be serious, you should get it checked and get the advice of a doctor, as I'm doing in this case, then share that explanation with those who are praying for you. That's a sample of dependence on Me and following the path I lead. In that way‚ you will be a better sample, the right sample.

33. So, please, next time something like this happens, don't put it off for such a long time. Don't expect that it's just going to go away by itself. In this case‚ I didn't let it go away by itself, in spite of all the prayers that were prayed for you, because I want you to learn this lesson. Take these things more seriously—not by worrying, not by fearing or running off to a doctor every time something is wrong, but by taking the steps I've explained to you here.

34. Having said all that, yes, it is My will, as I've already shown you, to see this doctor, and it was I who opened the door for him to see you today. I'm not saying that your condition is anything serious. No‚ you don't have anything to worry about. But I do want you to show that you're willing to stop and hear from Me about it and to follow My counsel and guidance, regardless of what I ask you to do‚ even if to you it seems like it will be a bother and take up your precious time.

35. Explain this to the Home and ask for prayer, and I will anoint your visit and help him to give you good, sound advice. (End of message from Jesus)

36. (Mama: ) You'll be happy to hear that, as the Lord said, it wasn't anything life-threatening, and he wasn't experiencing a heart attack. The pains were a result of gas getting trapped around his heart, as he had originally suspected. Although he had been experiencing severe chest pains for over a month, once he stopped to hear specifically from the Lord about it and followed the Lord's counsel by going to the doctor, the Lord delivered him and took away the pains‚ even though the doctors themselves couldn't necessarily do anything to help him.

Prayer Against an Eating Disorder and Seeking Perfection

(One of our young pubs workers: )

37. I decided to write everything down, so in case I completely lost it in front of everyone I could at least read everything I wanted to say. This is a rather difficult request to ask prayer for, as it's been one of those dark‚ hidden secrets that I haven't told anyone about since the onset of it several years ago. The Enemy has been fighting me quite intensely over the past week, since my decision to come before the Home and ask for prayer. Least of all have been my headaches, and I've also had nausea, stomachaches, dizziness, fatigue, and difficulty breathing at times.

38. To put it plainly, I've been fighting off and on with a kind of eating disorder for the last three years. It's hard to know exactly where to begin this confession, as it's been one of those problems that I've tried so hard to cover up, that to suddenly have to start digging in the recesses of my heart in order to find the root of this problem—which the Lord says has been a spirit of pride in wanting perfection (I'll explain that further), as well as unyieldedness in my life—has been a real struggle for me.

39. To give a little history, over a year before I came to WS‚ I lived in a field Home with several bulimics, one who was in fact a very close friend of mine. At the time I was going through many personal struggles and difficulties that made me quite weak, and I can't say that I was doing everything I could to be strengthened again. So although I didn't fall prey to bulimia completely, the spirit of it definitely latched onto me. I began struggling with many mind battles, hearing horribly negative voices in my head and extreme criticism of self, so much so that I hated everything about myself.

40. The actual manifestations of this in my eating habits have varied. At certain times I was eating compulsively and excessive amounts, and at other times going to the opposite extreme and not eating at all. In a lot of ways I was like a bulimic in the sense that I would overeat at times, and then counter it with a bout of undereating. There have been times as well when I've had to fight the urge to go the full extent of bulimia.

41. Sometimes I've done very well and it's been almost normal, but whenever I battled intensely, the first thing to take the hit was usually my eating‚ resulting in me skipping meals‚ serving myself a plate and going off to eat somewhere else, but not really eating and throwing my food away instead. Or I may eat a large amount of food for one meal, and then skip the next couple of meals in order to "balance it out." It's hard to fully describe this, but everything isn't normal with me‚ that's for sure!

42. Since I've come here my eating problems have worsened. I'm sure many of you have noticed that I wasn't showing up for meals; I was probably skipping more meals than I was eating. There have been stretches where it hurt me to eat food of any kind, and so I wouldn't eat. Naturally this weakened me and I started feeling very fatigued. My sleep lessened, my headaches increased‚ and my coordination was noticeably worse by the day; but I never really told anyone about it unless it got very bad.

43. As you all know, I don't sleep well, sometimes existing on 3–4 hours of sleep a night for weeks at a time. This is in fact something I've only battled with for the last three years. The times when I did try to sleep longer often resulted in me waking up to very bad headaches. But no matter how bad I felt physically or how little I slept, the voices in my head said that I had to keep working harder; that if I didn't work till I nearly dropped dead‚ that I was not doing my job properly. So that's exactly what I did. I pushed myself harder and forced myself to make every living hour a work endeavor.

44. For these last three years I've lived with a constant feeling of guilt about everything good that has ever taken place. I've felt so worthless at times that I've come to believe that I don't deserve friends, and have shied away from many friendships. Things that have not turned out right over these years have often served to convince me that I'm being punished, reiterating my contempt and hate of self. Through this I've become obsessed with working to the point that it has cancelled out a lot of my time with others, and more importantly my Word time, because as I saw it I never had the "time" to fit it in.

45. When we had our meeting the other night to pray for Kristen, I felt like a war had begun inside of me. After the meeting‚ Mama asked that I write up a reaction, seeing as I'd be going to the Home where Kristen is. I nearly panicked. That began the confession of a problem that I've tried so hard to hide. Mama was the first person I ever told about it, and though there was liberation in finally telling someone, it's hasn't been without its struggles.

46. Because of the way that this makes me feel, I've been willing to go to whatever length to cover it up, even lying or not being completely honest when people have broached the subject. When I last had prayer a couple of months ago, I mentioned that I had been struggling to eat, but I didn't bother to go further into it, because I wasn't prepared to do anything about it at the time. Not only that‚ but over time I've convinced myself that I don't really have a problem, that I can stop it whenever I feel like it. But these last months have started to make me realize that as much as I'd like to believe that, it's not the case.

47. Because I haven't really been honest, it's been very difficult for me to make progress in my life. This has been standing in my way, and stops me from going forward. In one prophecy the Lord said that up until now I've only dabbled in the eating problem, but that my mind has been facing constant battles because of this weakness, and that if I don't do something about it now, I'm at risk of not only getting weaker myself but endangering other people as well.

48. This last week has been a constant struggle for me‚ and my one salvation has been the numerous personal P&P assignments I've been given‚ because each time the Lord said that if I was prepared to fight, then the victory could be mine.

49. Here are a few excerpts from personal prophecies that help to further explain my need to be rid of this problem.

Acknowledge the problem and fight for victory

50. (Jesus speaking:) It is time to uproot what has been laid to rest and bring it out in the light. It is time to display what you have refused to acknowledge in your life. You've come to a standstill for some time. You make little steps of progress, but never ones that are big enough to leave your old man behind and become a new vessel. Things of the past hold you down. Battles that you face but you never tell about are as balls and chains about your feet; no matter how strong you are, they will hold you back and limit your progress.

51. I wish to remove those chains that bind you and watch you spread the wings of freedom that I have given you‚ so that you may soar high above the battles that restrict you. But if you will not have this victory‚ if you don't want with all your heart to be released from those chains, then there's little in My power to do; I can only wait and hope that in time you will allow Me to rescue you.

52. It is because you ignore this battle, in the hope that it will go away, or rather that it does not exist at all, that you grow weaker.

53. You live in the battle of your mind, but you refuse to acknowledge the power that it has over you. You don't want it to exist, therefore you refuse to believe that it's there. You can't get the victory, My love, unless you're willing to first acknowledge that all is not well within you, and second, desire to do something about it.

54. You're as a little child who, when she doesn't want to hear the words another is saying‚ will plug her ears and refuse to acknowledge that she is being addressed. You do that exact thing when you put aside the urge to fight this very obvious battle that rages in you. You've tried to mute it with work, and with keeping yourself so busy that nothing else is allowed entrance‚ but that doesn't cause the battle to cease. Doing that is like putting a blanket over a fire; it may seem to extinguish the light and heat, but before long the flames lick through the blanket, and the very thing you tried to use to cover up the fire becomes fuel to the fire‚ and it blazes hotter and fiercer than it did before!

55. You have been on the borderline for so long now, crossing over a little more to My side for a time, but then without noticing it, you slip back to the borderline, where you tiptoe ever so carefully on it. That is not a safe place to be, no matter how much balance and self-control you feel you have. The longer you stay on that borderline, the less aware you become of the danger, and the greater target you are.

56. For now it's only a battle within you, but if you're not prepared to take the stand now, to fight this unseen foe—or rather this foe that you have refused to face—then you will grow weaker and weaker.

57. I call you to stand up and fight, to counter this lax attitude that has crept into your life. I want you to lift your eyes to the realities of the battle that you're surrounded by. I plead with you to stop shrugging off the urgency of fighting this battle.

58. Don't let the Enemy take control of your mind. Already he has skillfully found his way in, in some areas, but this is only because you've refused to admit that his haunting presence was there; you refused to admit your need for help. And if you place your hands over your eyes or plug your ears, then the Enemy doesn't have to fight you to enter, he's in a sense invited. Don't let it be said that your usefulness came to an end because you refused to take note of the Enemy's attacks. (End of message from Jesus.)

Your destiny is in your hands

59. In another prophecy the Lord said:

60. (Jesus speaking:) It is a war over your mind and your heart‚ your usefulness and your destiny. I'm prepared to fight for you. If you desire this victory and take a determined stand, I will call in My warriors to stand guard over your mind and heart. They will war against the minions of Satan on your behalf; they're prepared to give their all to ensure your spiritual survival.

61. The choice now rests with you; your destiny is in your hands. The time has come when you must decide the course you will take. Will you take My side, or will you allow the Enemy to continue his game of control in your life? (End of message from Jesus.)

Pride manifested in wanting perfection

62. When I asked the Lord what the root of the problem was, this is what He said:

63. (Jesus speaking:) The core of this problem has been pride all along—pride in wanting perfection. Not just perfection in physical appearance, but perfection in everything you've put your hands to do. Perfection that has pushed you to the point where, if failure of any sort came about because of an imperfection on your part, you started severely berating and degrading yourself. You find it hard to accept mistakes no matter how big or small. It makes you so angry inside to fail in any way—kicking the whole cycle of self-hate into motion. It has been perfection to the point of despising My handiwork in how I created you.

64. It all started with pride in feeling that you were strong enough, that you were capable on your own. Pride in this one area of wanting perfection has flourished. You had come to know it as an identification as to who you were. (End of message from Jesus)

You are what you think

65. In a message someone else got for me, Dad gave the following explanation as well:

66. (Dad speaking:) You see, it all comes down to yieldedness. [This dear girl] has yielded her thoughts to these negative thoughts. Whatever you yield your thoughts to is what you are. You are what you think. What you think has power over your spirit. …

67. I'll bet if you ask her how much time she spends feeding on the Word‚ memorizing the Word, studying the Word, you will find that it's not that much in comparison to all the other things she does. She may do a lot of helpful and good works, but your works aren't going to save you. It's only the Word. (End of message from Dad.)

It's time to be freed

68. Because so much of this is a result of pride‚ the Lord said that a good place to begin fighting this problem is through united prayer.

69. (Jesus speaking: ) Going before the Home with this confession is the last thing you feel like doing. In a sense it evokes all those horrible things you feel about yourself and brings them to the fore. But those are just the Enemy's attempts at having you not make the changes you desperately need in your life right now.

70. So even if you feel ready to quit, and you don't think you have the fight in you to take the next step, take that step regardless. Even if it's just a little step‚ it's a step forward. Asking for prayer is the best thing you can do right now, because you are countering the spirit of pride that has taken hold on you by choosing to do the humble thing through this prayer request. You're yielding to My will in your life. You're saying yes to Me. You're turning over an area of your life that you've tenaciously held onto these past years.

71. The time has now come to be freed from this sickness‚ this horrible oppression of the Enemy that has taken away your joy of living and your happiness of service. It has stolen so much from you. You don't need to suffer any longer. I want to heal you, and I will heal you if you will let Me. (End of message from Jesus.)

72. So that's my confession and my prayer request as well, that I can be rid of this spirit of pride in wanting perfection. I don't want to continue on in this way. I've tried it for long enough and I know it hasn't served to make my life any better; in fact, every day that I've had to deal with it has become harder and harder. The voices in my head get louder each time, and each sleepless night becomes a torment to my body and my spirit. I don't want these things anymore.

A prayer to claim the victory

73. I asked the Lord for a prayer to pray, as at this point I don't even have the words to say, I feel so helpless and so lost. I really do appreciate you all taking your time to pray for me. I don't feel that I deserve it‚ so thank you all the more for it.

74. (Prayer:) My dearest Jesus, I come before You now to ask for Your help in my life. At this point I don't feel worthy of asking for Your help, but I know that I can't fight this battle on my own. I can't win this battle without Your help, Jesus.

75. At this time the Enemy is telling me that I cannot change; that I cannot have victory. But at the same time You are here holding me in Your arms and telling me that if I will just keep fighting, I will gain the victory.

76. I've tried countless times on my own, but each time I've landed with my face in the mud. I now realize how futile these self-attempts have been. I am nothing without You‚ Jesus, nothing at all.

77. I have come to the end of myself; I don't want to attempt this battle on my own anymore. I'm tired of being disillusioned. I'm tired of the lies that I have come to believe; I hate the way in which they've been able to control me. I'm tired of the mental torment that has been plaguing me for so long. I'm tired of the voices in my head—the voices that right now tell me I'm not worthy of this victory and that I shouldn't even attempt it.

78. But You are also there telling me of the victory that I can have. You say that I can be made perfectly whole, that I no longer have to believe these voices, that I can find freedom once again.

79. I want freedom so badly! I'm so desperate for a change in my life that I'm willing to do whatever it takes to gain that victory. Whatever it is that You have to do, Jesus‚ in order for me to be rid of these constant attacks of the Enemy‚ have Your way. Do whatever it takes in order for me to gain this victory.

80. Remove this pride of perfection that has stood in my way for so long. Help me not to fear doing the humble thing. This pride has stood in the way for long enough; I don't want it anymore. I want to be free from its clutches. I want to know the simplicity of Your Spirit again. I don't want my life to be gauged any more by this pride of perfection. I don't want it to have any place in my life, in my mind, or in my heart. I want it out of my life completely, never to return again. Whatever You deem necessary to bring that to pass‚ so be it. I want it out for good.

81. Please help me to stand strong‚ even though I know the Enemy will fight to get me to revert to this weakness, to again be a victim of this trap he's had me in. But I'm saying yes to You now. I'm prepared to go the distance no matter where it takes me or what it requires of me. No matter what the cost, I want this victory; I must have it!

82. Help me to keep my eyes focused on You—to know that You will be there to see me through every step of this battle. You promised me victory, so I'm standing on that promise. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to secure that victory, and so I pray that You will do whatever it takes as well.

83. Thank You for the promise of victory, dear Love. Help me now as I step forward to claim it. I want it, and by Your grace I will have it. Amen. (End of prayer.)

(Prophecies received after the Home prayed for her: )

Bearing each other's burdens and battles

84. (Jesus speaking: ) Oh, how the angels rejoice! How they of the spirit world clap their hands and sing for joy for this one's liberty. She has been bound. She has been fighting. She has been struggling for so long in this destruction of the Enemy, this dark hole that the Enemy has fought to keep her in.

85. She has been battling and at times has climbed back out, but has been pulled back in. Now it is time for deliverance. I have come and saved her. I have delivered her out of this plague, and I have set her upon a rock. I have given her the grace to stand against the Enemy. I have given her strong brothers and sisters to bear the battle with her. I've taken this battle from her hands and delivered her.

86. It will be a fight. Every moment of the day will be a fight for her, but you, her brothers and sisters, My mates, My lovers‚ stand beside her, bearing her before Me, lifting up her hands before Me, asking when she is too weak to ask, defending when she is too weak to stand, protecting her from the Enemy's attacks. You have now become her wall and her shield. As she struggles to gain these victories, as she begins to stand on her feet again‚ you will be there to help her. She has nothing to fear, for she can rely on those around her to hold her up before Me.

87. And for you, dear, I love you so much. I take you now into My arms and I embrace you. I kiss away these hurts. I stroke your hair and tell you that it's going to be okay, that things will work out, that this victory can be obtained‚ that there is nothing to fear‚ that though this has been painful and though it has been difficult for you to come before the body to explain these battles, I will now stand on your behalf, I will give you victory. This will not be a small victory. It will be a great victory, a steppingstone in your life for Me.

88. You will look back on these days and hardly recognize the person that sits here today, because I will change you so much. So you are not alone in this battle. Know that there are many now that do pray for you and they are your intercessors‚ those who plead before Me for your healing. The victory is yours. (End of message from Jesus.)

Removing the cover-ups

89. (Jesus speaking:) Do you know what I see when I look at you now? I see the woman I love, the bride of My heart‚ bare and stripped of all that once lay between us. What a beautiful sight is before Me! You had tried to hide yourself in wraps and robes and shawls—so many layers of clothing—to cover up what you felt was the ugliness within. But My love, the ugliness was in fact caused by all these cover-ups—all these things that you had let come between you and Me.

90. You felt unworthy of My love and tried to hide yourself from the powerful light of My Spirit that would reveal all that was within you, leaving nothing hidden. Yet the only unworthiness in you was through that very act of hiding, of running, of shielding yourself from the light that would have freed you. Now you have let it in. Now you are a free woman. Now I can look at you and enjoy your beauty. Now your eyes need not lower and pull away from Me when I want you, but can look up to My face with joy and expectation, knowing that I want you, that I enjoy you!

91. I want you, just you. I don't want your good deeds, your overtime hours, your technical perfection, your self-denial‚ your excellence at your job or your multiple talents and capabilities. These things have their place and their use, but their place is not in our bed of love. Some things are sacred, hallowed, destined to be set apart and above all else. Such is our love. How it brings My heart joy to see you understanding this‚ reaching for this, desiring this.

92. I know, My love, that it is not easy. I know the temptation to fear that what I speak of, what I promise‚ cannot be reality. I also know the discomfort of new and different surroundings and lifestyle. I know the cravings that will come to revert to the old, to retreat into the protective shell that you had carved out for yourself, to lapse back into patterns of striving and pushing and pursuing in your own strength. The Enemy is out to deceive you, to cause you to look back on these things you have forsaken and feel a sense of loss, to feel as if you have left behind good things that you need, that you want, that do you and others good. So arm yourself to fight him, My love. Arm yourself with understanding and awareness‚ with belief and faith in the things that I show you.

93. Brainwash yourself with the truth of My Word and the light of My love. Tell yourself and let Me tell you over and over and over again what it is that I really want from you. Fight to make My priorities your priorities. Fight to stay within the stream of light that I shine down upon you. I know you feel exposed and naked within this light, and I know that the comfort of the shadows is appealing, and there will be times when you will want nothing more than to retreat to the shadows of wrong habits and attitudes, to want to hide within the cave of your mind or wrap yourself in a blanket of busy-ness and hide yourself from Me. But please, My love, don't ever hide from Me again. Don't run away from Me. I'm not a threat to you. I would never do anything to hurt you. All I want to do is help you, love you, fulfill you and satisfy you.

94. Don't misunderstand. I'm not saying I want you to enter into a life of rest and meditation, of introspection or ongoing self-improvement. No, My service is active and alive, and I love how you have a passion for life and want to live it to the full and fit all you can into it. Yet the only way to completely fulfill this desire is to do it My way. If you will move at My pace, you will find more movement, excitement, thrills and passion in your life than ever. This will not be the mere passion of the flesh, nor even the deeper passions of the mind. This will be the complete passion of the heart, the spirit, the center of your very self and soul. This will be the overwhelming love that causes you to rise in the morning with joy at the thought of experiencing another day filled with this love.

95. This is the joy of your salvation. This is what I mean to restore to you now in full. This is the victory that I promise you. This is the reward for your fighting, for your yielding‚ for your willingness to forsake that which I ask you to forsake, and to embrace that which I ask you to embrace. Embrace Me above all, and all My goodness‚ fullness, richness, blessing and bounty will embrace you. Above all, My arms of love will embrace you, causing you to rise to new heights‚ and causing each chamber of your heart to be filled with a light and a freshness, a purpose, a contentment, that will make every moment of your life truly worth the living. (End of message from Jesus)

Jesus the medic

96. (Vision:) I had two pictures. In one, she was a soldier in battle. She was heavily armed, carrying a big, heavy machine gun. She had on soldier gear, a helmet, and green fatigues. It was a war scene, a battle scene. She was kind of plodding through mud and grime and swamp and having to really struggle to make each step. She was being fired at from all sides, and the Enemy was actually able to hit and wound her. That was the first scene.

97. In the next scene she was in a field hospital on a cot and next to her was the medic, and the medic was Jesus. He had a big smile and wore a doctor's outfit. He was healing up her wounds while she was lying there at peace and at rest, protected. She wore a big smile‚ was so happy‚ and she was looking in the doctor's eyes. She was obviously really in love with the doctor and happy to be there in His presence.

A new garment of light

98. (Vision:) I also saw a picture while she was giving her prayer requests. I saw her in a very tight black dress. She was fighting to get it off. It was almost like a dress that the Enemy had put on her, but she didn't really want it‚ so she was trying to take it off to be free.

99. She couldn't get the dress off, but as soon as she had given her prayer requests, there was Jesus. There was a hidden zipper in the back, and He just zipped it right down and she was free. Then He put this new, gorgeous, beautiful white dress on her. It really showed the contrast, like a new robe of light, a new garment.

Prayer for Priorities, Prayerful Speech, Word Time and Humility

(Our SGA network manager/computer technician:)

100. I'm basically going to read my prayer request, because that's what everyone else has been doing recently. This first part is excerpts of some messages the Lord gave for me, and then it goes into my prayer requests. There are only four. They're really general—my whole spiritual life!

101. (Jesus speaking:) It is a time of purging and strengthening for many, as I prepare to do new and wonderful things in WS, and it is your time of strengthening too. In order to strengthen, I must sometimes purge.

102. You need to hear the truth, My love, so we're laying all the cards out on the table. The bottom line is this: I need and want more of you. I want to be your priority. Because that's not the case right now; you're not being the strength to the Home that you can be and that I need you to be. I know you often brush that off‚ feeling that it would be better for others to carry the responsibility. But, no, I'm calling you. And if you don't accept that responsibility, you will not grow in the ways that you need to in order to be complete in your happiness and fruitfulness for Me. Right now you're being a negative influence in the Home because you're not being a positive influence.

103. Yes, you need to start moving forward. Your spiritual life needs to be strengthened. You need to be more desperate with Me, more willing to do the right thing, more unselfish, more humble. You need to regain the joy of your salvation. All these things that you love to do so much—playing sports, staying up with technical advances, and excelling in your work—are not bad, but right now they're taking My place. They take up the majority of your thoughts and focus, to the point where there's very little room left for Me, very little room left for the spirit. This is manifested in your actions, your conversations, your words, and your reactions.

104. Those other things are not the problem; in their place‚ they're fine. Even your comments and actions are not what I'm most concerned about. Everyone slips up; everyone has some wrong attitudes. The problem is that those things are taking over your life, because you're not staying full of Me and full of My Spirit. Your spirit is not desirous of My Spirit, so there is very little of My Spirit in your life.

105. You are privileged to live in the center of the production of My Word. Because of this, your actions affect others, which in chain reaction has an effect on the work which is done here, the Words which are processed and sent out. Because of this, I can only afford to have those here who are willing to dedicate themselves to the spirit. That doesn't mean becoming so spiritual that you no longer live on Earth and enjoy the things of Earth, but it means putting the spiritual first‚ having your priorities straight, and consequently having enough of My Spirit in your life that you stay on track, that your actions and words and conversations reflect that.

106. There are other changes that you will need to make on the outside too—such as being more positive in your speech and conversation, watching what you talk about, encouraging others‚ learning to counsel and check in with your shepherds, etc. But the change I'm most concerned about is the change in your priorities, getting back to the basics of loving Me. This is a change that you will have to be desperate for, but I'm ready to give it to you, if you want it.

107. You don't see how you can change; you think it's just the way you are. But I know you better than anyone, and if I say you can change‚ it's because I know you can. And in this case, I not only know you can change, but I believe you want to change, and that you will change, because I know how much you love Me. All you have to do is get back to loving Me, putting Me first, and letting Me help you and change you, and I will. Then you'll find the great happiness and fruitfulness that you seek. (End of excerpt.)

108. The things I would like to ask prayer for are:

109. 1) That the Lord can help me to get my priorities straight. As the prophecy above said, right now the things of the spirit are not the priority in my life that they should be. And since I'm not very spiritual by nature, it's a fight for me to keep things in their proper place. I tend to also be extreme in things I get into, so something will end up taking all my thoughts and time. I need to learn to balance things better, but most of all put the Lord, the Word, and things of the spirit above the things of the flesh.

110. 2) That I can be more wise and prayerful about what I say; that I can learn to say things at the right time to the right people, and not just argue issues for no reason. I have a tendency to take opposite sides of issues that are being discussed even if it's not something I personally believe or think. At times it is, but mostly I just do it because I like to debate or argue about things. I also say a lot of things in public that I either shouldn't say at all or should say to the right people. For example, if something gets announced that I don't really agree with, I'll say something right then contradicting it, rather than going to the shepherds afterwards. Or if I don't say something right then, a lot of times I'll say things to others later about how I don't like the idea or don't agree, which is even worse. Here is an excerpt of a message Dad gave on this issue.

111. (Dad speaking: ) This habit of bringing up the opposing side or opinion to whatever is being discussed is a serious habit that he needs to break. You know why? It causes dissension‚ and dissension is one of the seven abominations that the Lord hates. (Proverbs 6:16-19).

112. Dissension relates to discord, but in a way it's worse. Dissension is defined as having a disagreement or difference of opinion that can lead to open conflict. Discord is when you don't agree with people or things or situations. Either way, the Lord hates it. That's pretty strong language when you think about it. And that's a pretty strong reason to be sure you avoid doing any of the seven things the Lord lists as an abomination in His sight.

113. He may not intend to be doing any harm by bringing up the other side, but what he needs to realize is that that doesn't justify his behavior. You can judge whether something is good or harmful by its fruit. Jesus said, "Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them." What kind of fruit does his bringing up the opposing view bear? Unity? Love? Peace? Joy? Longsuffering? Gentleness? Meekness? Temperance? Faith? (End of excerpt.)

114. I would like to take this time to apologize to anyone and everyone who has either heard me saying something publicly that I don't agree with or who I have debated or argued with, especially if the side I was taking was promoting something non-Word-based, which I know I've done a lot.

115. 3) To be fed more by the Word and that I can use all the new weapons more often, including being more of a prayer warrior. This is a constant struggle for me. Sometimes I do better than others, but it's not something that comes naturally. I really have to fight to get fed from my Word time and to get my P&Ps, etc. Mama has helped me with the P&P part by assigning me two P&Ps a day that I send to her, so that in time should help the P&P situation to get easier—at least I hope so. I've been doing better at taking my Word time daily, but I still really need to work on getting fed by it and letting it change me, because that's really the key to everything. I want to actively live the Word and keep that as a priority in my life‚ to be following the New Wine and majoring on whatever the Lord is showing us. I want to stay stirred up and continue making spiritual progress and learn to use the keys to the Kingdom. Here's an excerpt from a P&P on the subject:

116. (Jesus speaking:) What you need to understand is that I want and need your love above all. Above your work, above your accomplishments, above anything else‚ I want and need your love. When you're distracted from our loving, when you're preoccupied by the things of the world, when you neglect Me, not only does your spiritual life suffer, but our communication breaks down, I'm not able to help you, and I'm not able to use you. It's as simple as that. (End of excerpt.)

117. 4) That I can do the humble thing, and against my pride. I guess asking for prayer like this is a good start, but normally when the opportunities arise, I rarely do the humble thing. I'm proud in nature, so that's always my first reaction. But the Lord has promised that as long as I yield, He can change me. Even if I don't have the faith for total change now, all I have to do is yield step by step to His plan for me. I'm going to be praying about what practical things I can do to actively do the humble thing, and I'd like to pray that the Lord will help me to follow through on whatever He shows me.

118. Here is a prayer the Lord gave me:

119. Dear sweet Jesus, thank You so much for the privilege of being here, and the job You've given me. Thank You for all my sweet mates who are so wonderful, and for this time I can come before the body and ask for prayer. You have promised that prayer can do mighty things‚ and that's what I need, so I thank You, sweet Love, for this opportunity.

120. I want to pray that You can help me to get my priorities straight, that I can put You‚ Your Word, and the things of the Spirit in first place in my life. Please help me to put aside anything that would take me away from You, and give me a desire for the things of the Spirit. Please help me to have a better balance in my life, and to be able to keep things in check that start crowding out my time with You, as I know that without that there is no hope whatsoever.

121. Please forgive me for all the times when I publicly voiced an opinion opposite to what You were showing our shepherds or leading us to do, or when I debated with others, bringing up an opposite side to something in the Word. Please help me to be able to put a watch over my mouth. Help me to ask You before I say things so that I will be speaking things that You want me to say and not my own thoughts. Please help me in this, as I can't do it on my own. I'm too much of a mess and totally incapable, so it will have to be You. Please, Jesus, help me to be open to Your Words and to be a clear channel so You can help check me in these things.

122. Please help me to put Your Word into action in my life. Help me to not just read it and let it pass over me. Please help me to be willing to let it fill me totally‚ to let it change me and make me a new creature.

123. You said that if we're yielded and willing, You could totally change us. Even things that are completely natural to us and have become a part of the way we are‚ You can change in us. So I pray that You help me to be yielded. Help me to be willing to give up whatever is standing in the way of the changes I need. Help me not to yield to pride, which is the enemy of everything that I want, but so hard to get rid of. Help me to do the humble thing when given the opportunity. Help me to reach out to others and not give in to pride.

124. Please help me to hang on to this change that You've promised, and not let it slip away through getting lethargic in spirit or by giving up. Help me to start each day by reminding myself of the commitment I made to let You change the way I am, and help me to be yielded to that change. Help me to be open to my shepherds and peers when they point out things that I should or shouldn't be doing. And most of all, help me to hear Your voice that will check me and help me.

125. I thank You for the victory that You've promised if I will yield, and for always being there for us and helping us through these times in our lives. Thank You for all these here who are willing to pray for me and help me, and for this wonderful Family that I have the privilege of being a part of. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else in the world, so I thank You for letting me serve You here. I love You so much.

Relating to each other in a new way

126. (Home shepherd:) One last prayer request. You know when we're taking steps to grow and change our habits and the things we say and do, it's really tough. Even when the Lord does the miracle of changing our spirits, those habits are hard to change. One thing that makes it really hard is when you're surrounded by a bunch of people who are used to you reacting a certain way.

127. We often set the stage for people to react in a certain way, because when we're with each other we all have familiarity, and sometimes some bad habits or attitudes that aren't really Word-based. So when someone is striving to change, to be a new person, to not react like they formerly reacted, it helps if all of us have prayer at the same time that the Lord helps us to help that person and to change our attitudes and speech habits.

128. So could we have prayer for ourselves too—that we'll all be able to grow, and not just [the person who asked for prayer]? It will be really tough for him if he's trying to do his part and we don't help him by also growing and changing.

129. (Staff member prays:) Lord, please help us all to strive in the area of letting You take over more of our lives and to seek to have more of Your Spirit in our lives in order to get away from the carnal things that are hindering us. Help us all to make strides, just like [this dear one] is trying to make‚ to put away the things that are keeping us from You and to allow You to come more into our lives. Please help us to do that. Help us to want to do that. Help us to desire to do that‚ Jesus. And please do come in, and wipe out anything that is keeping us from You.

130. (Staff member prays:) Lord, we ask that You help each of us to choose to do the humble thing every time we're faced with a decision. We ask that You help us to choose Your way rather than our old habits or proud ways.

131. (Staff member prays:) Jesus, please help us to guard the words that come out of our mouths, to realize that out of the abundance of the heart we speak, and to take that seriously. Help us to be on guard to support each other in the spirit—not speaking things even in jest that are ungodly, that promote the System and worldly attitudes‚ or that are unedifying spiritually. Please help us to realize that our words can either lift up or cast down, but they always have an effect in some way.

(Prophecies received after the Home prayed for him:)

Clearing away the things of the world

132. (Jesus speaking:) To be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. Thank you, My children‚ for allowing My Spirit to clear away the rubble and the chaff and the ways of this world that I might replace it with the things of My Spirit. I wish to give you clear channels that are not cumbered about with things that hinder My voice or My connection with you. To do this, you must allow My Spirit to work in your hearts and lives, to discern what is of Me and what is not of Me, and to allow Me to move so that I might create a clear channel that is open and receptive to My love and My Spirit and My seeds.

133. Thank you, My son‚ for your humility and your honesty. I will bless you with the desires of your heart and the desires of your spirit because you have come before Me and before the body in humility‚ desiring the things of My Spirit. You will see signs of rising above if you continue to allow Me to wipe away the former things that I might give you a new heart and a new spirit. You will become a more effective vessel and tool in My hands, and be the person I want you to be. (End of message from Jesus)

He fills the hungry with good things

134. (Jesus speaking:) Behold the beauty of the Lord in the land of the living! The beauty of My love and your gift of love to Me is a broken and a contrite heart, and with such I am well pleased. I love you‚ My beloved son, and I am well pleased with your choice to come before the body and to walk the humble road. When you walk in humility, it gives you power and strength to overcome as you gain momentum and move forward!

135. As you hunger and thirst after righteousness, I will fill your hunger with good things and will give you the very best. You will be glad that you fought the good fight and that you've yielded, for I will continue to establish you in the house of the Lord.

136. Your adversary fights you‚ but the battle works for you to make you stronger. So use the fight to strengthen your muscles of the spirit and you will continue to rise above the natural. You will learn to find pleasure as you discover this beauty!

137. I love you and am thankful for your show of love and for declaring plainly before your mates that you desire a better country, that is an heavenly; wherefore God is not ashamed to be called your God, for He is preparing great things for you! Keep on believing and acting on your newfound freedom and faith! I love you and I am pleased and touched with your love and surrender. (End of message from Jesus)

Vision of the Heavenly H's!

138. (Vision:) I saw a picture of three young female spirits in a circle around him. They were dancing around him, hand in hand, very happy, very beautiful‚ laughing and twirling in a playful circle around him. I got that they were the Lord's heavenly "H" spirits—the spirits of Humility, Hunger, and Help—and that they are now assigned to be around him in answer to his prayers. They are sent to help him, and through their working together hand in hand in his life and spirit, keeping that circular boundary around him, they will keep him from straying and help him to grow.

139. As the picture faded, I saw these same three beautiful spirits, almost as their "final act‚" lie down on top of this huge "H" that was now in the midst of the circle where he had been standing. This big "H" in the middle of the circle stood for Habits—bad habits. Each of these beautiful heavenly "H" spirits lay down on top of this huge Habit "H." As they did so, their forms melted into each other and caused the huge "H" of bad habits to completely disappear! Thank You Jesus! (End of vision.)

Grab the water—ask for prayer!

140. (Mama:) This dear young man who asked for prayer then went to the Lord personally to ask Him about how it went. I think you'll find the Lord's answer motivating and convicting!

141. (Question: ) Did my prayer go okay this morning? Did it come across okay? Is there anything You want to tell me about it?

142. (Jesus speaking:) It went well‚ My son. Thank you for stepping out by faith and doing the humble thing. You put time into writing it all up and pulling the P&P excerpts and getting your prayer from Me. It took you quite a bit of time, but you stuck with it‚ so I was able to give you all you needed for it to come out well.

143. It was a good sample and will help others have faith to also step out. Just like the others who asked for prayer helped you to have faith, so will yours help others.

144. Asking for prayer shouldn't necessarily be looked on as a big thing. It is a big deal sometimes, but the more people do it and the more people step out, the more people will see it's simply another way to help each other.

145. There is great power that can be unleashed because of united prayer. Why would you not want to get the help that you can from united prayer? If you were running a marathon race and were on your last leg after many miles and no water, and someone handed you something to drink that could mean the difference between winning the race or not even making it to the finish line, wouldn't you take it?

146. But if in your pride you thought you could "make it on your own," you could "fight through" by yourself, and you didn't think you needed the help‚ a mile or two more and you'd collapse from dehydration! Then you'd wish you'd taken the water when you could. It was just a matter of reaching out, grabbing, and drinking. But now you're lying on the ground, and no matter how much you want to finish the race, the ambulances have to come and carry you off for more intensive recovery.

147. In that scenario, you will recover, but it would have been so much easier to humble yourself and grab the opportunity for help when you could have. It's the same with united prayer. It's not a huge, big deal even though you may think it is; it's like grabbing that water from a friend as you round a corner in your marathon of life. Your "friend" is all your mates, and what they're offering is to pray for you, and with it you can finish and win the race. (End of message from Jesus.)

Prayer Against Pride, Self-Confidence and More

(From one of our SGA secretaries:)

(Note: Because many of the prophecies refer to this person by name, we've chosen to use an initial as a substitute. We'll use the letter D.)

148. Thank you so much for taking the time to come together and unite in prayer for me. I really need and appreciate your prayers. About united prayer the Lord has said, "Your asking for prayer before the body will be the catalyst to your victory. It will be the prayer that releases the forces of Heaven to come fight for you. … As you come before the body in humility and in openness, I'll answer your every request." ("Freedom Through United Prayer," ML #3171:93, 96, GN 776.) That's a real incentive to have united prayer no matter how humbling it is, isn't it? It's a wonderful promise which I'd like to claim.

149. As some of you may know‚ I recently received a letter from Mama and Peter in which the Lord and they had some pretty strong and hard–hitting correction for me, which I really needed and am thankful for. Getting correction is of course never fun and is often difficult, not to mention extremely humbling, especially if you're really proud and not used to getting much of it. But if we receive it and yield to it, by getting desperate with the Lord and doing the things He asks of us, then the Lord is able to give us wonderful victory and deliverance from the things that hold us back and stand in the way of us doing what He's asking of us and being all that He wants us to be. That is what I want and what I need your prayers for.

150. First I thought I'd give a little background and explanation as to how all this came about. Because of the changes taking place in WS, the Lord laid it on Mama and Peter's heart to pray about me, as they have about others‚ asking Him to show them anything they needed to know about my situation or spiritual condition. As you will see, the picture the Lord gave was pretty alarming and was the catalyst that encouraged Mama to take the time to write me. I'll share portions of that message with you here.

Tightrope vision

151. (Vision:) I see D. walking a tightrope. The scene is similar to that of a circus. I see a big, round circus tent, and inside I see D. She's way up there, very, very high up walking on a tightrope. All is dark inside the tent. I don't see crowds or faces of people in the stands; all I see is a spotlight, and it's shining right on D. You can hear a pin drop, it's so silent in this tent. I get the impression the stands are full of people, and they're all watching, only I can't see their faces because all is dark except for the spotlight that's shining on D. The impression I get is that all eyes are on her, as she's way up high walking the tightrope.

152. Sometimes in the circus, there are different levels, or different heights at which the performers do their thing—either walking the tightrope, or swinging back and forth on the trapeze and doing other tricks that they perform. But this time, D. is up about as high as you can get, and she's walking the tightrope.

153. It's a tense moment for two reasons: One‚ because she is so high up and there is no safety net under her, and two, because you can see her legs are shaky. She's walking the tightrope and it's a little odd, because the look on her face seems very confident. She has a proud look, but you can see that her legs are shaky and unstable, yet she continues out on the rope. She could remain standing on the side and could climb down the ladder to safety, or she could call for the safety net to be raised so that if she falls it will catch her, but she doesn't. No one is making her walk this rope, but she seems to insist on walking across the tightrope, even though her legs are so shaky and there's no safety net under her. (End of vision.)

Walking a dangerous line

154. (Jesus speaking:) D. is walking a fine line. She is as one who walks the tightrope, high, high above the crowds. The rope is raised to the highest notch—high, high up under the big top. She walks without a safety net‚ her legs tremble in instability, and thus it's all the more dangerous. Should she fall, it will be a long‚ long, long way down.

155. In her pride, she is blinded to the reality of it all. Her pride keeps her from realizing just how precarious her footing is upon the rope. Pride keeps her from confessing her weaknesses and calling for help. In her pride, she steps out on the tightrope, blinded to the reality of the danger she faces. Pride grips her, and thus self-confidence; this is why she doesn't care to call for the safety net to be raised. She doesn't walk circumspectly, in fear of Me, but her own pride leads her, her own thoughts and ideas, her own self-confidence.

156. D. is walking a dangerous line. She's in a dangerous state—that of being more led by her pride and self-confidence than she is by Me.

157. She has listened to many doubts from many sources—from the friends she has lived and worked with in the past, and from her loved ones, friends, and relatives who have gone back. She's listened and has not been sufficiently cleansed on a daily basis; therefore, she is weakened.

158. She has sought to be everyone's friend, more than making Me her best friend and listening to Me first, foremost, and above all. This has weakened her. The doubts have come‚ and because she has thought she is stronger than she is, they have taken a toll on her‚ worn grooves in her mind and heart, and fostered wrong attitudes and ideas.

159. She has not used the safety net I provide, and this has put her in great danger. She has not used the safety net of My Word. She has not used the safety net of the new weapons I have made available, but has trusted more in her own natural gifts and talents, in her own arm; thus she has grown weaker instead of stronger.

160. She has not been thoroughly cleansed by My Word each time doubts and worldliness have come knocking at her door. Therefore, this has festered in her, but she sees it not, for pride and self-confidence have blinded her eyes.

161. Pride is the root of the matter, and pride will be her downfall unless she is willing to call out to Me; unless she is willing to throw herself on Me; unless she is willing to cast off her outer garments of pride and self-confidence, of thinking she knows best, of her own ideas, of the doubts that linger around her‚ of thinking she can walk the middle road; unless she is willing to be stripped naked before Me, to come to My bed of love and allow Me to clean her up, to cleanse her, to free her from pride's grip, from thinking she knows best; unless she is willing to put Me and Me alone in first place in her life, she will fall.

162. She tries to walk a middle road, thinking she can maintain friendships with those who have gone out from you, with her loved ones and others. In her case, she cannot, for she is not strong enough to stand up for the truth; therefore, compromise sets in. In her pride, she doesn't want to appear in the eyes of others to be a robot for Me, one who is willing to stand for the truth‚ for My radical doctrines, for the straight and narrow path I lead you down. She thinks she can please both sides. She tends to compromise in order to look good in the eyes of others, for this feeds her pride. She wants to look good in the eyes of others. She doesn't want to be considered weak in the eyes of others, a mere follower of the truth, a robot for Me.

163. She's more concerned about how she looks to others than she is about pleasing Me. She lacks a healthy fear of Me.

164. She has not been washed clean regularly and thoroughly by My Word. She has not regularly used the safety net I provide, therefore all these other things have worn her down and caused her to be in this weakened state. She has not been guarded sufficiently. She has not been using the safeguards that I provide, thus she has left herself open to little or sometimes no protection in the spirit world. She has been influenced by the doubts of others‚ by worldly influences—movies, Internet information, music, and advertising—and thus wrong attitudes have crept in regarding love and relationships, regarding the need to be strong rather than weak, regarding intellect and trusting in her own intelligence, regarding being confident in herself rather than completely dependent on Me.

165. But her pride blinds her to where she is not able to see how her knees tremble and how shaky her footing is, how dangerous the fine line is that she walks.

166. She is talented, yet for these talents to be fully used by Me, she must be willing to let Me control her. I want to have first place in her life, her mind, and her heart. She needs washing. She needs cleansing. She needs reviving. She needs yieldedness. She needs to strip off all her outer garments, to stand before Me, sans cover-ups‚ sans her own ideas, sans her own self-confidence, sans her own intellect.

167. If she will cry out to Me to wash her clean, I will. If she will humble herself before Me and before her mates, I am able to free her from her pride. I am able to raise the safety net under her and help her to walk the road of My choosing.

168. Now is the time to give her this opportunity. Now you must spell it out, give her the opportunity to be cleansed, and see which way she will go. (End of message from Jesus.)

169. (D: ) I must admit that this came as quite a surprise to me, and was pretty humbling. Not only was what the Lord had to say about me, my spiritual state, my heart‚ my nature, the way I am and what I was doing, etc., very humbling and difficult‚ but also because I've thought that I had a fairly close connection with the Lord, it was difficult for me that the Lord hadn't showed me these things earlier, especially since it is so serious and not just a "little word or two of instruction." At first I even felt a little hurt and wondered why the Lord hadn't checked me about this sooner before it became such a big deal‚ but the truth, as it turns out, is that He did, but I was blinded to the seriousness of it by my pride and wasn't desperate enough to fully receive and believe all His counsel and to change.

170. When I prayed about it the Lord also told me that I needed the humbling, the shock treatment, the breaking. That was a little encouraging for me; to know that I wasn't so far gone that the Lord couldn't even speak to me about these things, but that the way it came about, the humbling, etc., was part of His plan. That's not to say that the Lord couldn't have done it differently, less painfully‚ etc., if I was more desperate with Him and walking in a greater fear of Him‚ because I'm sure He could've if I'd been more attentive and open to Him and the checks of the Spirit.

171. I was amazed at the insight the Lord gave into my heart and life in that prophecy—things that I hadn't and probably would never have talked about, unless the Lord did something like this, of course.

Weakened spiritually during a relative visit

172. As you all know, I recently went on a relative visit, which, for the most part, was a fun blessing for me. Sadly, however, due to pride and disobedience, and because I didn't put the Lord first or keep my guard up spiritually, I became vulnerable to the Enemy's lies, doubts, and confusion. While away I spent a lot of time with disgruntled ex-Family members who were actively and aggressively trying to get me to leave the Family and to stay with them. I listened to a lot of criticism‚ doubts and lies, which was very weakening spiritually. In my pride, I didn't fully realize, or rather I didn't want to fully realize, the precariousness of the situation I willfully and deliberately put myself in.

173. I wanted to show my friends and my family who are not in the Family that I, unlike others, had accepted them and their decision and that I had unconditional love for them. But because of my pride I was weak in spirit, which led to my compromising in many ways, especially by listening to them so much and not putting my foot down about things more. In my pride and desire to "be a good friend," I didn't stand up to them and for the Lord as much as I know I could and should have. Like the Lord said, I didn't want to seem like one of His "robots"—I was more interested in them seeing that I had made my decision to be in the Family knowledgeably and that I was a "smart girl," that I do think about things, don't just take everything that is "fed" to me, and that I wasn't just "scared to leave," which is what they accused me of, of being "weak," etc.

174. Lord forgive me, I put my pride and the opinions of man before His opinion of me. I really failed on that score and I'm ashamed of that. I should've been more desperate and I should've seen that I was being affected by these things. I did, but in my carnal-mindedness I thought, "I never get to see anyone so I just want to be with people as much as I possibly can‚ and then when I get back I'll make it up to You, Lord, and will work toward getting cleansed of all this stuff."

175. In my pride and self-confidence I thought I could walk the middle road, even though I knew it was dangerous and very risky. But I thought I could take it, that I was capable of walking that road, that these things wouldn't really affect me long–term because I had already made my decision to be in the Family. I thought that I could always just run back under the Lord's tower of protection and be all safe again, like nothing ever happened. Boy‚ was I wrong.

176. To make matters worse, I was disobedient to the counsel the Lord gave me before I left by neglecting to spend quality time with Him, listening to Him, loving Him, and reading His Word. I knew that I was taking in a lot of garbage and that I should've been extremely desperate with the Lord to be cleansed on a daily basis. But I didn't heed the Lord's strong checks‚ and therefore I was, like the Lord said, very weakened in spirit and open to the lies, doubts, and confusion of the Enemy. I was affected by the doubts and the things they were saying‚ and my way of looking at a lot of things began to change. I became much more skeptical, had many doubts, and there was a lot of confusion.

177. When I came back home, I knew I was very weak spiritually, that I was much further from the Lord and had changed in my way of thinking and looking at a lot of things. But I wasn't as desperate as I should've been to get cleaned up and back on track, or I would've called for help and for the "safety net" to be raised.

178. There are many reasons I didn't talk with anyone about my trials and doubts, but like the Lord said, it was mainly due to my pride and not wanting to appear weak or like these things affected me as much as they had, because that would ring the alarm bells, which I didn't want because of my pride. I thought it was really bad timing for me to be going through this stuff when so much else was going on. I didn't want to be seen or looked upon as a problem case, especially not right now‚ so that's probably the main reason I didn't ask for help and prayer, and I wanted to just fix things on my own—my pride. I thought I could slip under the radar for now, promising the Lord that I would work on things and get back closer to the Pillar and where He wanted me to be.

179. Plus‚ because of my pride, I didn't think it was such a big deal or that I was in such a bad state spiritually. I really did think that I could get back on the straight and narrow on my own. I thought that just surviving everything, coming back and determining to stay in the Lord's will for me, though difficult at times, and wanting to change and get back on track was the biggest part, and that the rest would be easy in comparison.

180. Also, by nature I am a very private, independent person‚ so I thought that I could, and even should, deal with these things on my own. I thought that I should be able to just fall back in line and keep marching, and then slowly work toward getting back to the basics on the side‚ reading the Word and finding out what the real truth actually was.

181. Because I'm proud and self-confident, like the Lord said, I often feel like I should be able to handle things on my own, that I've grown up in the Family all my life and know the Word, and I therefore should be strong enough to deal with things and get the victory. Also, and again because of my pride, I usually like to be able to get victories and work my personal problems out with the Lord without too much involvement from others or "the drama," because it's less humbling. Because when you take care of it on your own, often people aren't even aware of what you're going through and how bad and weak you are. So proud!

182. So‚ as you can see, I really need united desperate prayer against pride! That's my main prayer request.

183. Since Mama was going to be writing me to share the above prophecy with me‚ she then asked the Lord more questions to receive more details about my work attitudes and relationships with others. I'd like to share some excerpts of those prophecies as well, because I'm also going to need prayer on those fronts.

Work attitude and style

184. (Jesus speaking:) D. is very talented and I could use her greatly. She feels she is already being used greatly, but it's nothing compared to how much I want to use her in the future. But she must become a team player. She is presently very independent, and this also is a result of her pride and self-confidence. Her successes feed her pride.

185. There is much for D. to learn. While she does have gifts and good ideas and she gets a lot of work done, and she's willing to put in the hours and produce, there is more to the commitment to excellence than that. We are not a System company where the worker is evaluated solely on his productivity and ability to meet deadlines. In our line of work there is the other side—the spiritual side, the relations–with-people side, the humility side.

186. I winked at D.'s arrogance and independence‚ but I will no longer do so. She must see that there's a very big difference in living and working in WS [or in the Family], and working anywhere else in the world. There is much more required in the spirit. While there might be similar schedules, work hours, projects, etc., there is more required of each person in the areas of prayerfulness, humility, communication, openness and honesty, being on guard, listening to others, working with others, sharing the glory, sharing the authority, delegation, etc.

187. Each member must be completely on board. When I say completely on board, it goes far beyond the realm of work, talents in your calling, and productivity in your work. Equally as important, or even more important‚ is each one's personal relationship with Me. That means each one's personal conviction and obedience‚ their spirituality, their ability to hear from Me and receive complete prophecies, their desire for the Word and spiritual input (including guidance and correction), and their willingness to minimize ungodly influences and to be cleansed of the lies‚ doubts, and misconceptions of the Enemy.

188. Without a strong spiritual connection with Me, the Word, the king and queen, and their mates, any member becomes limited in their usefulness. A person is not trusted because of their accomplishments or their great time management skills or computer knowledge, not even because of their willingness to work hard and put in long hours. Real trust is earned by faithful diligence and consistency in obeying the Word, using the new weapons, being prayerful, being loving, considering others before yourself, being open and honest. These are a few of the qualifications that spell greatness and "job security."

189. D. has much to learn in many of these areas, and some to learn in all of them. She is immature in many ways. While she thinks of herself as being very mature and grown up, she is childlike in many ways, especially in the ways of love, sacrificial giving, shepherding, and being a strong sample/pillar in the spirit. Because she has had authority in the work, she feels she's a leader in other ways‚ that she understands and has a handle on problematic or controversial subjects, that she's got good insight, that she's pretty cool, and that those who she graces with her attention and friendship are cool by association.

190. She's got a lot to learn. She will have to have her eyes opened to where she is off and how these things are not true. This will be painful for her, and very, very humbling.

191. This is a double or triple whammy situation where she's in trouble in many ways. She's extremely off in her perception of the Law of Love, her work style and expectations are wrong, and her relationship with Me is very weak. So put all this together and you have a real bomb! Just pray she'll be able to withstand the blast! Only by coming to Me and throwing all that pride, self–righteousness‚ self-confidence, independence, bitterness, competition, and selfishness at My feet will she be able to make it through the initial fire and the fallout afterwards. I can and will protect her, if she seeks her High Tower; otherwise it will be too much for her. Pray for her choices and for a miracle of humility and honesty. (End of message from Jesus)

192. (D:) Hearing what the Lord had to say about my work and work style was very difficult for me and quite discouraging, but I know that it's true‚ and even the things I don't understand or see fully now, I'm sure I will more and more as time goes on.

193. I'd like to apologize to you all, and particularly to the guys I work with, because I know I've failed in a lot of ways, especially in being a loving friend and having more than a business relationship with you. I know it's just my pride and selfishness that I haven't reached out more to you and tried to befriend and get to know you better.

194. I've been very selfish with my time, in my own little world and work, not wanting to "waste it" with taking too much time to talk and fellowship with people, particularly the guys I work with, thinking that I was too busy and had very little in common with you. The Lord has spoken to me a lot about this and I've tried to change many times‚ but not enough. Finding the right balance has also been difficult for me.

195. I want to change in that. I want to be more sacrificial‚ caring, loving, compassionate and understanding, more humble. So that is one of my prayer requests.

196. I was thankful to hear the Lord say that my standard and expectations are wrong, because I've often wondered about that. I usually judge and make decisions by the standard of what's most efficient, rather than looking at people's needs, preferences, and by a standard of love and compassion.

197. My standard has been too high and I haven't been as sensitive or caring as I know the Lord was expecting and trusting me to be. My priorities have been wrong. My standard for myself and others has been off‚ and because of this I'm sure some people have wondered if I even really liked them as a person or cared about them, Lord forgive me. I see now that a lot of it had to do with my pride in wanting to meet deadlines, not be late, or get things wrong.

198. I've been proud in my dealings and interactions with others. I haven't been willing to show myself weak or like I wasn't together and on top of everything all the time. It's often difficult for me when others have good ideas and come up with things that I didn't think about or realize, which is really proud, just the fact that it's a trial and uncomfortable.

199. I don't personally feel super talented or exceptional in any area. I know some about a number of things, I guess, but I'm not really specialized, so I haven't felt like I had much to be proud about personally since I'm not the best at anything. I do feel weak and like I don't have everything together all the time, and I don't see myself as being very smart or talented at all. I've found it interesting to hear other people's impressions of me, because they're not at all the way I see myself. But I think that one way my pride has been manifested is in my lack of being humble by showing myself weak in front of others‚ because I do like to be thought of as together and very smart, even though I don't really feel that that's the way I necessarily am.

200. I do want to become more of a team player. And I want to be freed of my pride. I don't want some of these things to be such a big deal to me. So I need prayer for that.


201. There is also a lot of progress and change needed in this area of my life. The Lord said that my main problems with relationships are due to extreme pride and selfishness, so I'm also going to need prayer against pride manifested in extreme selfishness. Below are some of my specific prayer requests on this subject:

202. • Against pride in the form of selfishness and possessiveness. That the Lord will change me and give me freedom from selfishness. I am by nature a very proud, selfish person, but the Lord said that He wants to change my very nature if I will just ask Him to change me and will yield to Him and others. So I want to pray that I will be able to do that.

203. • That I will not only be yielded to give, but to be a "cheerful giver" and be happy to share even if it's to my own hurt or loss. Against selfishness and jealousy.

204. • That I will fully receive, believe, embrace and live the spirit of the Law of Love, which is sacrificial love, giving, and sharing. That I'll be able to see the Law of Love as a beautiful and precious gift from the Lord‚ something to be happy about and want.

205. • The Lord said that the foundation of my expectations, demands, and interactions with others is flawed. So I'd like to pray that the Lord will rewire me, my way of thinking and acting‚ and that I can live more in the Spirit and see things the way the Lord sees them, through the eyes of true love.

206. • The Lord said, "Seek to give, to love, to share, to be selfless in the things you say and do, in the decisions you make. Seek not your own, but seek to give, and so shall you be blessed." So I want to pray that I can do that.

207. • The Lord said to pray for the gifts of His Spirit, the gift of sacrificial love, His love. He said, "Seek after‚ hunger for, and desire My Spirit of Love, and so shall it be given you, that you might have the strength to do My will, to be and do what I want you to do. You cannot do it on your own; therefore pray, ask‚ and you will receive the strength and wherewithal to be and do all that I want you to do." So I'd like to pray that I will do that—that I will seek after, hunger for, and desire His Spirit of Love. And also for His strength so that I can do all that He's asking me to do.

208. • I'd also like to pray for a refilling of the Holy Spirit and for the fruits of the Spirit, which are love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance.

209. • For more maturity and sacrificial love in my relationships with others.

210. • That my motives will be pure; that I will be motivated by sacrificial love.

211. • That I can be more affectionate with people and show a greater interest in people's lives, hearts, and personal interests. I'm not a very affectionate person by nature, but the Lord said that this is something He wants to change about me.

212. • That I will be more loving, more compassionate, more accepting.

213. • That I will be more of a servant, more humble and loving in spirit‚ more selfless and sacrificial.

214. • That I will be more faithful to praise and show recognition, appreciation‚ and thankfulness to people.

Other prayer requests:

215. • The Lord said, "Only by coming to Me and throwing all that pride, self-righteousness, self-confidence, independence, bitterness, competition, and selfishness at My feet will she be able to make it through the initial fire and the fallout afterwards." I want to pray that I will throw myself wholly on the Lord and throw aside all the things the Lord mentions above (pride, self-righteousness, self-confidence, independence, bitterness, competition, and selfishness), so that I can make it through this time and make all the changes needed. I need desperate prayer against pride in all its forms, and that I will be more humble.

216. • The Lord said, "She needs washing. She needs cleansing. She needs reviving. She needs yieldedness. She needs to strip off all her outer garments, to stand before Me‚ sans cover-ups, sans her own ideas, sans her own self-confidence, sans her own intellect." He said that if I will cry out to Him to wash me clean, He will. And that if I will humble myself before Him and you, my mates, He is able to free me from my pride and raise the safety net under me and help me to walk the road of His choosing. So I want to pray desperately for that‚ that I will do all that He is asking me to do so that He can cleanse me completely and do the miracle I need in order to be able to walk the road of His choosing.

217. • That I will surrender to the Lord completely.

218. • That I will faithfully walk the humble road the Lord has for me, no matter how difficult or humbling it may be.

219. • Against spiritual blindness caused by pride.

220. • The Lord said that the biggest step I could take toward becoming a more humble person is by being committed to do the humble thing at every turn, in each decision, in all my actions and the things I say—and that in order to do that, I need to be more prayerful and in tune with His checks so that I will know when He's calling me to do the humble thing. So I'd like to pray that I will walk in a more prayerful, humble spirit, asking Him about everything, and that once I know what He wants me to do, I will yield to doing it, no matter how difficult, humbling‚ or uncomfortable it is; that I will make doing the humble thing a good, solid habit in my life.

221. • The Lord said I need to make progress in the area of asking Him everything. He also said that I need to involve Him more in every area of my life and in the decisions I make, to ask Him more questions and to seek Him diligently for His counsel—not just for His "stamp of approval" at the end‚ but throughout the entire process. So I want to pray that I can be faithful to do that more. I want to make asking Him everything a good, solid habit in my life so that it is just a natural part of my lifestyle and way of operating.

222. • I also need to be more faithful to actively solicit the counsel and input of others and to ask for help from my shepherds, etc. Please pray for that.

223. • That I will be more honest. The Lord and Mama have said that my life is now an "open book." That's a big change for me, not only because I'm not used to it‚ but because I am by nature a very private‚ closed person. But the Lord said that He can and wants to change my very nature if I let Him. I want to pray that I will let Him make whatever changes in my life He wants to and whatever He feels is needed.

224. • That I can make it a habit to show myself weak and incapable in front of others, thereby letting the Lord's strength be more greatly manifested in my weakness, and thus giving Him all the glory.

225. • That I will be faithful to lift the Lord up in the things I say and do—and others as well, and give Him and others the credit for anything good that's accomplished.

226. • That I will become more of a team player.

227. • For flexibility in spirit, in attitude, in every part of my life.

228. • That I won't worry so much about the opinions of men, but only about the Lord and whether I'm pleasing Him and doing what He asks and wants me to do.

229. • That I will be faithful to acknowledge and confess mistakes, and not just try to fix them real quick and hope that no one notices. It's human nature to want to look good and together in the eyes of others, but the Lord said that He wants to change me and make me more like Him, more humble.

230. • Against pride manifested in fear—particularly fear of the future and fear of failure.

231. • Against bitterness.

232. • That I will be faithful to go to the Lord when I have questions‚ doubts, or don't understand something; that I won't just reason them out in my mind. Against carnal–mindedness.

233. • Also for a clear, unobstructed channel. For an enhanced gift of faith and receptivity.

234. • Against spiritual lethargy and complacency.

235. • The Lord said that in order for my talents to be fully used by Him, I must be willing to let Him control me. So I want to pray for complete yieldedness to the Lord in every area of my life. I'd like to pray the "whatever it takes" prayer—that the Lord will do "whatever it takes" to change me and make me what He wants me to be.

236. • The Lord said, "I want to have first place in her life, her mind, and her heart." He said, "Make Me your First Love. Seek to please Me, to love Me‚ to serve Me, and to make Me happy through your love and desire to please Me. Put Me first in all things—in all your activities, in your conversation, in your actions and decisions. I must be at the center of it all. I want to be the most important thing in your life. I must have first place. Stay close to Me, My love. I want you to stay by Me at all times, that you never leave My side. My desire is to be one with you, for you are My bride and I will not let you go. In My love and care for you, I will not let you wander far but I will pull you back close to Me. The 'pulling' may not always be easy and it may hurt a bit‚ just as this breaking has, but remember that I do it in love for you. Remember also that this 'pulling' can be avoided if you will stay close and not wander off on your own." Please pray that I will keep the Lord in first place at all times.—That He will be my First Love and be the most important thing in my life, and that I won't wander off on my own.

237. • And finally, I'd like prayer against discouragement and the feeling that I'm fighting a losing battle, or that I may as well quit and save everyone the trouble. For faith.

D's prayer

(A couple of people pray for D., and then she prays:)

238. Dearest Love, thank You for Your love. Thank You for loving me, for wanting me‚ for being with me. Thank You that even though I fail, make mistakes‚ stumble and fall—or even willfully disobey You—You love and want me still. You don't hold our mistakes and problems against us; it doesn't make a difference to You. It doesn't lessen Your desire for us. It doesn't change Your love for us. Your love is ever constant, all-encompassing and never-failing. Such beautiful love, so rich, so full, so unconditional—endless love. Thank You for Your love‚ Jesus.

239. I know that this chastening, this correction, this humbling is also part of Your great love and care for me, and I thank You for it. Even though it's difficult and it hurts, I know that it's for my good and that You do it in love. Thank You‚ Jesus, for this breaking. Thank You for the humbling. Thank You for showing me up. Thank You for all the mileage and victories that You will get through this, as I yield to You and obey all that You ask me to do.

240. I want to yield to You, Lord. I want to change, I want to do Your will, I want to please You. I don't want to have anything in my heart and life that comes in the way of my being able to be as close to You as possible. I do want to walk the road You've called me to walk, no matter how difficult or humbling it may be. I do want that crown. I don't want to fail You, Jesus, and I don't want to live a life of compromise or do things halfway; I don't want to walk the middle road. I don't want to be unyielded in any area of my life; I want it all to be yielded to You, Jesus.

241. I give You my life, my heart, my mind‚ my everything. I don't want to hold anything back. I don't want to keep anything reserved from You; I want You to have it all. Do with it what You will‚ Jesus. Take me, break me, remake me. Do whatever You want, Lord, whatever seems best to You. Just don't throw me away‚ Jesus.

242. Cleanse me, Lord, of anything and everything that is not of You. Cleanse me of my pride, selfishness, false fronts, independence, carnal–mindedness—anything that would come in the way of my being close to You, Jesus. I don't want anything that is not of You, that is not in line with Your Word and Your Spirit. Take anything away that would come in the way of my being able to hear Your voice clearly, of my being able to obey and do Your will. I want to please You and to do what's right in Your sight. I want to be cleansed by You and Your Words, I want to do Your will, so please, please do help me; please do whatever it takes.

243. I know You have already done a lot to humble me and to bring me back closer to You and Your will for me, and it's been hard and humbling, but I am thankful and I want You to know that I want You to continue to work on me and to humble me as much as You feel is necessary and good for me. I know I need it, and I want it.

244. Create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me. Please wash and cleanse my heart and spirit—not so that I will be all clean again and "lovely" to others, but because I want to be with You, to be near You, because I want and need You.

245. I know that You are nigh unto those who are of a broken heart and save those that are of a contrite, humble spirit. Help me to be that way toward You and others. Help me to be humble, meek, and lowly so that Your Spirit can rest upon me, dwell with me, and so that I can follow You more closely, please You, and do Your will.

246. Take anything away that would hinder or distract me from being close to You‚ hearing from You, following You, and being what You want me to be—a humble servant, a yielded bride, and dedicated wife to You. Even if I seem simple or stupid to others, or even to myself, I'd rather that than miss the privilege of being as close to You as possible and as obedient and submitted to You as You want me to be.

247. Forgive me, Jesus, for failing You in so many ways. Please forgive me for not following You more closely, for not heeding Your checks, for not obeying You and doing Your will. Forgive me for neglecting You and for not giving You first place in my heart and life. Please forgive me for holding back, for being selfish, for not doing Your will. Forgive me for all the mistakes I made in pride and selfishness. Please change me, Jesus. Make me into what You want me to be; not what I am, but what You want and need me to be.

248. Help me to be yielded to You. Help me not to hold anything back. I know that in myself I can't make the changes You're asking me to make. It's impossible for me to make these changes on my own. But nothing is impossible to You‚ Jesus. Nothing is too hard; there is nothing that You can't do.

249. Jesus, You said that You do want to change me, that this is Your will, so please do that. I give you full sway in my life to do whatever You want. Whatever it takes, Lord, whatever You need to do in order to change me and to make me into what You want me to be, please do it. That's what I want most of all; that is the desire of my heart. Thank You for Your promise that as we ask we will receive; I claim that, Jesus.

250. Thank You for the victory that is mine by faith through You. Thank You for Your promise to make it through me, and thank You that You will be by my side each step of the way helping me to change as I faithfully say yes to You and to doing the humble thing.

251. Thank You for the victory You will give me through united prayer. You said, "Confess your faults one to another and pray one for another that you may be healed." Thank You for healing me, for changing me, for answering my prayer. Thank You so much. I love and need You so much, darling Love. I am nothing and can do nothing without You, Jesus, but I thank You that through You and in Your strength I can do anything. I love and want You, dearest Love. (End of prayer.)

Riverbed vision

252. (Channel:) I started getting this picture when everyone was giving their prophecies after we prayed for D. This is what I saw.

253. (Vision:) I see what seems to be an old, nearly dry riverbed. The sides of this riverbed are very high, and it seems a little odd‚ because the river that should be running through it is nothing more than a piddling stream. The interesting thing about this riverbed is that there are all these obstructions in it, things like huge barrels lying in it‚ bits of rubble, broken pieces of wood, concrete blocks, and even rubbish.

254. What should be a river is instead this pathetic trickle that is muddy and murky, anything but clear. Rather than the pure, flowing water that it should be‚ it's almost thick and mud–like. As this "river" is wending its way down the riverbed, it is constantly being redirected by the obstructions in the riverbed. It cannot flow freely through the riverbed; it must constantly move around this barrel‚ or around that piece of concrete. Sometimes its only route is through a pile of rubbish, and when it makes it past the rubbish, there is even less water and it seems thicker and muddier.

255. Suddenly from somewhere, an absolute flood of water, like a tidal wave, totally engulfs this riverbed. The power of the water pushes all the barrels, the other obstructions, and the rubbish downstream, and it all vanishes altogether.

256. (Jesus speaking: ) I pour the cleansing spirit of humility on your life, that it may wash away the filth and rubble that has cluttered your heart and mind. The refreshing and life-giving waters can now flow freely in your life, for all else has been removed. The barriers of pride that held back My Spirit of humility from flowing freely in your life have been pushed aside. They no longer obstruct Me or My Spirit. I am now able to pour it on you freely and without obstruction.

257. That nearly parched riverbed with its mountains of obstructions is what your life has been like for so long. You looked at it and saw the little trickle, and everything that dotted the bed of your heart, and you saw little wrong with it. Once there had been a flowing and alive river, but over time the force and power of that river had been limited and held back, till all that was allowed to flow was a tiny trickle, and even that was constantly being redirected due to the many obstructions of pride in your life.

258. Pride has stood as the barrier holding back the flow of My Spirit in your life—My Spirit of love, humility, selflessness, freedom, happiness and joy. But I have shown you now that there is something much more beautiful and better than the way things have been in your life. Through your humility in confessing your faults and kneeling before all and crying out to Me that you may be cleansed, the barriers of pride have been washed away. All that stood in the way of My Spirit flowing freely in your life I can now remove with the powerful flow of My Spirit made manifest in your life.

259. This sudden outburst of My Spirit may seem almost overwhelming to you. You may wonder if it is truly as wonderful as I say it is, for it seems rough and wild at times‚ pushing the obstructions aside and rushing over you. My love, do not question the flow of My Spirit as it washes over you to cleanse the impurities of pride in your life! Let it flow! Let Me wash over you and clean away the hindrances that have stood in the path of humility for so long. All that is washed away are the things that were not meant to be there in the first place. The things you clung to, that you took as geographic features of your riverbed‚ have in fact been the very things that held back the spirit of humility and love from flowing freely.

260. Do not question the power of this mighty wave of My Spirit which I have now released on your life. It may seem overwhelming and even uncomely to you, but rejoice, for the force of it is what removes all that has stood in its path for so long. As it rushes over you, your heart is made clean. Though it hurts, it is simply the purification of a heart that has been tarnished through pride.

261. I have given you freedom in humility. I have poured My Spirit with such power upon you now that it may wash away all that has stood in its way. For I long to make you completely anew.

262. Rather than a clay pitcher that hides all that goes inside of it and restricts the flow of what enters by placing a lid on it, I have now asked that you become as a glass pitcher, without the restriction of a lid or covering. As you stand there, allow My Spirit, My love, My humility, My ability to be poured into you till it overflows. Because you are as glass, all are able to see the beauty of My Spirit as it is poured into you and overflows, for there are no restrictions placed on the intake of My Spirit. It is given utter liberty to wash through your life and keep it fresh and clean.

263. This is how I want your life to be—as a glass pitcher, an open book. Though it may have shown the stagnant waters of pride and self before‚ I have poured My Spirit into you with such a great force, and because you received the humbling and allowed Me to remove the restrictions that would seek to contain the contents of the pitcher of your heart and life, My Spirit is able to push the stagnant water out. It may seem that the stagnant waters are still prevalent, but as you allow My Spirit to continually flow without restriction‚ the stagnant waters are diluted by the constant downpour of the waters of My Spirit, until before long it will be My Spirit alone flowing through you. This is My goal—to have you entirely full of Me, overflowing and abundant.

264. Rejoice in this new infilling of My Spirit! Rejoice, I say, for it is the transformation of a life made murky and muddy by pride‚ into one that rejoices in the pure flow of My Spirit in her. (End of message from Jesus.)

Prayer to Become a Doer of the Word

(A YA who helps with the children: )

265. The Lord told me recently that I need to ask for prayer, both for some spiritual things as well as for healing. He said they go together, and He wants to use this time when I'm very weak and have to rest a lot to help me get desperate with Him and be willing to do whatever it takes to make the kind of spiritual progress He wants me to make. So they kind of depend on each other. My main prayer request in short is to become a doer of the Word. I'll read some excerpts from a recent personal prophecy that explains a bit about it.

266. (Jesus speaking:) You read My Words‚ you sometimes even pray about how to apply them, and you have a genuine desire to obey and follow. But then you get lazy. As a little time passes, the conviction lessens, and you figure it's too much work, too difficult, and go back to continuing with business as usual.

267. In some ways it's almost like "truth rejected loses its power over the mind." That sounds terrible, I know, and it's not like you consciously reject My Words, but by not following, you've built very bad habits in this area to where you're hardly concerned about it at all. You barely realize it; it's just such a part of your nature. You figure you want to change it, you've tried to change it, but it's pretty much so close to hopeless that it'd be way too much work to really completely change. It becomes discouraging, very discouraging, and you don't want to be discouraged and depressed all the time anymore, so you harden yourself to it, and try to ignore it. [Note: I recently had prayer against depression, and the Lord really delivered me. It was a wonderful overnight difference, which I'm so thankful for.]

268. If you had obeyed‚ and done everything I told you, you'd be a very different person today. I don't say that because I think you're bad or haven't made progress; I say that because I want you to realize that it really is a serious issue. Take "Ask Me Everything," for example. After two years, how are you really doing with it? Praise Time? Doing the humble thing? Following My health rules?

269. What started out as conscious rebellion against certain things for the express purpose of bothering certain adults you didn't like (this was a long time ago, before I came to WS), has become a dullness in spirit. You don't feel like you really need to obey, you feel like it's not that important, and you've lost a good part of your conscience and fear of Me. If you continue down this road of doing your own thing, you'll end up exactly where you don't want to be—out of My service‚ out of My will. Your faith is very weak. You're buffeted by the lies of the Enemy when he tells you maybe it isn't worth serving Me and isn't worth the trouble and sacrifice.

270. Why is your faith weak? Why have you not seen My Spirit and the workings of it? Because you're weak in the Word—partly because you're not always faithful to read it, and partly because you're not making the effort you should to follow it.

271. If you read all the wonderful promises I give and then don't see them fulfilled in your life, you should stop and ask Me why. Instead of concluding I'm not keeping My Word‚ maybe you should be asking yourself if you've obeyed and followed through on your part, thus freeing Me to be able to bless you the way I'd like to.

272. What about prayer vigil? How often do you feel convicted and even get My counsel on how to make it more a daily part of your life? Have you done what I showed you? Have you followed through? You should be afraid of not obeying, and motivated enough to do what I'm asking you to do regardless of what you feel like.

273. You're still a bit spoiled in many ways. You feel you have leeway to do your own thing by not seeking Me and not following through with the counsel I give you. If you went back and read all the personal prophecies you've gotten, how much progress have you made in following through with My instructions? You're so discouraged about battling the same things for so long, when really it's largely your own fault for not doing the things you need to do and taking the steps you know need to be taken in order to gain victory.

274. This is a wake-up call to you. It's not like a conscious wrong thing you're doing on purpose, therefore you don't really realize it. You've been desperately asking Me to help you, to do whatever it takes in your life to help you make complete and long-lasting changes in a lot of areas, so now you have to look at things from My perspective. Everything that is happening right now in your life (battles and trials, sickness)‚ are all in answer to prayer. All these things make you desperate, and in a sense force you to come to Me‚ and to be willing to do whatever it takes to grab hold of the victories you know I have in store for you.

275. You need to review some of the basics of Christianity. You've heard them all your life and have become so familiar with them, they hardly mean anything to you anymore. You've got to ask Me to "open my eyes that I may behold wondrous things out of Thy law." In many ways you've thrown out a lot of the sound principles of My Word along with "the way things were in the '80s," and this has weakened your foundation. You need to go back to the basics of My Word and simply be willing to follow as a little child, letting go completely of your pride, your own ideas, and being obedient to the way I'm leading.

276. You've often wondered how pride is the root of all sin—well, if you trace each of these things back, you'll end up at pride in every case. I don't condemn you for having these weaknesses and problems, but now is the time to change. Now is the time to completely give your all, and I mean everything to Me, to lay it all on the altar and say, "Not my will, but Thine be done." Now is the day to forget the past and move on, to be willing to do whatever it takes to become a completely new creature, for that is what I would have you be.

277. You need to ask for prayer again—for your spirit as well as your body. It's a terrifying step in your book, but it's the only way to get the boost of the power of My Spirit you so desperately need. You know deep in your heart that it works, and you also know that trying to change in your own strength is impossible. It's not your works and efforts to do good that are gonna save you, it's only My Spirit. Call on the power of My Spirit. Call on the power of the keys to help you, and you will see victories you didn't think were possible—the kind that will boost your faith and show you that I truly can do anything. Claim My promises and My power and fight like never before. (End of message from Jesus)

278. So, my prayer requests are:

  1. Obedience to the Word and the specific things the Lord shows me to do in prophecy.
  2. Against laziness.
  3. Against pride (since it's the root of all evil‚ and diminishing it is good all the way around).
  4. For faith and a believing heart—to trust the Lord for things that happen, and realize and accept that He is in control and taking care of everything.
  5. To regain whatever conscience and fear of the Lord I've lost.

(Several people pray for her, and then those present ask if the Lord has any word of encouragement for her.)

279. (Jesus speaking:) I promise to make you a new creature in Me. I promise to give you new life, a new love, and a new start. I promise to make everything new, to change everything!

280. Each one of My promises is true, but each promise has its conditions that you too must fulfill‚ and that you are doing now, My love. You are coming to Me and wanting to be that new person, wanting that new life, and that new start that I promise to give you. So as you stepped out and have taken this step and done your part, as you've asked Me to give you that new start, the new life and the changes that you need, then I assure you that I will do My part to make you a new creature in Christ Jesus. That I am doing. I will heal your spirit and make all things new.

281. It's a step-by-step process sometimes, and you must continually come to Me each and every day, asking Me to take away the things of the old man and give you the new life. As you see more and more and I open your eyes more and more to the things of My Spirit and the wonderful truths of My Word‚ as you grab hold of each one of these truths, I will give you more and more of that new life and the new power that is in Me and in My Word.

282. As you come to despise the old man and long for the new man in Christ Jesus, that I will give you, that I will do, and that I am doing. Thank you for seeing the need and wanting it, desiring it, longing for it‚ and asking for it—for taking this step of humility and asking for it in front of your mates and with your mates. As you take this step of humility I will do it and I am doing it. I am answering. I am healing your spirit! (End of message from Jesus)

(This is the end of GN 994; text which follows is from GN 995.)

Open-heart Prayers Of Your COs

Shine Your light on me

283. Shine Your light on me, Jesus! Shine Your light on each little corner of my heart. Flood me with Your light and power and make me a new creature within. Make me a vessel of love, a useful toilet, a servant to You firstly, and to the flock. Most of all, make me Your faithful bride, Your ardent lover‚ one who lives to love You, to praise You‚ and to please You.

284. Let Your new song be in my heart and let me bless You at all times, and have praise to You continually in my mouth. Let my heart be open to You, yielded to You, full of You, full of Your Spirit.

285. Make my heart Your home. I give You all the keys and take off all the locks so that You can dwell in the furthest corners of my heart. Fill it with the fruits of Your Spirit, so that my life will be a testimony of praise to You.

286. Please cleanse me, heal me‚ and deliver me from everything that stands in the way of me loving You and yielding to You fully, and that hinders Your hand in my life or keeps me from being what You want. I yield to You completely and lay myself at Your feet, sins and all, and ask You to help me let go and forsake these besetting sins of:

287. • My ugly pride which causes me to be self–righteous, critical, impatient, condemning, condescending‚ sensitive to correction or instruction, hard and unloving. Or any pride manifested through fear of making mistakes and fear of what others think. I pray against being too proud to receive Your love, feeling that I have to earn it or be deserving of it. I will never deserve Your love. Help me to be humble and accept it. "The humble shall hear thereof and be glad!"

288. • Worldliness, which is manifested in skepticism, reasoning things out with the carnal mind‚ analyzing, and adopting ungodly attitudes or any thought or form of thinking that is contrary to the Word or Your divine nature. And against foolishness, thinking that I could figure You out or know better than Your Word.

289. • Laziness that keeps me from staying continually stirred up in the spirit, ready and eager to listen to Your voice and to create a vacuum and pull down the power, the help, and the answers from Heaven. I want to work hand in hand with our helpers from the spirit world. Give me a passion for the things of the spirit, for exercising greater faith in receiving more from Heaven.

290. • I pray that "in my tongue would be the law of kindness"; that You'd put a watch over my mouth and that I would learn to present things lovingly, speak clearly, and not cause misunderstandings and hurt feelings with my words. Please use the words I speak to heal, to help, to comfort and encourage those I speak to.

291. • I pray for a healthy fear of You that will reflect in my being instantly obedient to Your still, small voice in the form of the checks of Your Spirit.

292. • I pray that I will give You the time that is Yours, the moments that belong to You, and that I'll change anything in my life that needs changing in order to reflect the simple truth that You are first! You are the most important thing to me, and I don't want to even try to do anything without Your power. I want to be happy when I'm weak and incapable, and be glad that I'm nothing, so that by depending on Your strength and Your power, You will get the glory and credit that is rightfully Yours for anything that You can do through me.

293. • Please open my heart to accept‚ embrace, and practice the new weapons in a greater way than ever before. I want to be a new creature‚ fitted with the new armor and new weapons so that I'll be ready to follow closely where You lead in this new era we're coming into. Please help me to say yes to You in regards to anything and everything You bring into or carry out of my life. Help me to trust You fully, to trust Your love, and to let You work and have full sway in my life. I'm Yours!

Giving the Lord a blank book to fill in

294. Hi and hello, my most passionate Husband! This is the greatest thrill of my life to be able to come before You in prayer. Knowing how much prayer can do, I could sit here for hours and hours sending my petitions to You and praising You for Your incredible love and mercy and passion You share with me. I love You, Jesus! But for now I would like to commit the most essential things of my heart into Your hands so I can be free to run the race that is ahead of me in new strength and in new freedom of Your Spirit, my Darling.

295. Please forgive me for the times I went astray, when I kept You on the back burner instead of making You and my appointments with You the most important part of each of my days. Please forgive me for getting bitter toward You at times when I felt that I fulfilled my part of the bargain in different situations, and yet things would turn out so difficult in my life. I want to yield my all to You, my sweetest Husband, and even if that means that You will have to take everything away from me to start my training and growing all over, I wish for You to do it.

296. Please forgive me for not always reflecting Your strength and love and patience toward others, but running ahead at my own speed. Please forgive me‚ my Love‚ for often being so negative about myself and what I am. You proved Your love for me in so many ways a thousand times over, and yet I still go astray by trusting the lies of the Enemy instead of trusting Your promises of love and strength for me. Take all my fears away and let faith combat all those lies of the Enemy when he floods me with worries and fears of his own.

297. We are now in a new era, and things are not as they used to be, and I don't want to be as I used to be either. I want to be that new bride of my darling Jesus, believing all Your Words, desiring You and Your seeds all the time. I want to be that new soul of Your Kingdom, empowered with new strength that is not my own but Yours.

298. My Dearest, this is my blank book that I give unto You; please start today and fill each page, each day from now on, with plans and missions You desire and wish for me to face. May each step of my life from now be a step that will bring me closer to You and closer to the goals You still have ahead for me to reach. I've lived my life and I don't want this to be my life anymore; I want to live Your life for whatever time there is left for me to live on this Earth.

299. I've found no pleasure and no joy in doing things my way, so please take my own ways and fill my heart with Your ways, Your thoughts, Your feelings each day, so I can live the life of servant of all, as You served us from the very beginning and You still serve me each day. You still are near to answer my questions, to forgive my sins‚ and to love me even when I'm so difficult to love and care for.

300. I love You! That's the most I can say with the words that I know. I want my life to end today‚ and I want Your life to flow through me till the time I will go to meet with You in the Heavenlies. I love You, my most passionate Husband of all.

Make me like Mary

301. Dear, precious Love, I love You with all my heart, with all my soul, and with all my mind. I want to serve You and obey You and do what You want me to do. Not my will, but Thine be done.

302. Jesus, there are things that are coming between me and You—things that I'm allowing in my life. I want to come before You now in humility and honesty to ask for united prayer. Please help me, Jesus. I need Your help to change.

303. Jesus‚ take away the pride in my life and help me to be more like You—more humble and obedient. Help me to do the humble thing. Take away the pride that is manifest in my life by my shyness; by my not coming to You and hearing Your voice enough in my personal life; by my not sharing my weaknesses, faults, lessons, battles and trials with my teamwork; by my not being helpful enough in my Home and sensitive enough to the needs of others; by my not admitting to others that I need You constantly, Jesus, and giving You the credit and glory for everything in my life; by my not using the gift of prophecy that You've given me always‚ and in public most of all; by my hiding behind others sometimes when it comes to leading meetings or speaking publicly, or even leading inspiration.

304. Remove these things from my life. I don't want any part of them. I want You to change me. I yield to You my heart and my life. Please help me.

305. Jesus, I also want to ask that You help me to seek You more and to ask You everything in my life. This is a weakness and something You've asked of me time and again, and I've been disobedient in not obeying You and Your Word, and I'm really sorry, Jesus. Please help me to have a change in my life so that I will be a humble man, willing and ready at all times to ask You; to not lean to my own understanding and my own ways, but to seek You in prayer and prophecy about the big things and the small things. Please help me to change in this.

306. Jesus, I want You to do whatever You have to in my life to make me be what You want me to be. Whatever it takes, please do it. I yield to Your will, Your ways, and Your slightest wishes. I pledge my love and loyalty and life to You, and by Your grace, I promise that I will yield, no matter how difficult it is, to whatever You ask of me in my life. I must decrease and You must increase.

307. Sweet Jesus, one more thing I'd like to ask of You—please help me to be like Mary. Give me all the qualities in my life that Mary had. I want to love being with You and treasure every moment with You. I want to hear every precious Word You have to say and not miss anything. I don't want to ever refuse to come when You call, to hear Your Words and Your voice. I don't want to disappoint You in this, Jesus. Please help me to change, to always come when You want to speak and You want to tell me Your Words. Make me like Mary, who chose the good part that shall not be taken away from her, in Jesus' name.

Help me to avail myself of Your power

308. Dearest Lover‚ thank You for choosing me, as nothing as I am, to be part of Your wonderful Family—and not only that, but making me Your bride, Your wife. Thank You for the opportunities You give me to progress and learn and gain victories. I'm so thankful for this time of united prayer‚ a time to humble myself in front of everyone and receive the help You want to give me.

309. Thank You for the power of united prayer. You promised that there is great power in united prayer, and I'm claiming that power to be released today as I pray for the following requests. You've been speaking to my heart about so many things, and there are so many areas I need to change and grow in. As I take this initial step to ask for prayer, I ask that You answer each prayer, and continue to show me ways to gain victories.

310. Jesus, I know I've failed You miserably by not spending as much time with You as I should on a daily basis. Somehow the work, the children, and the cares of life seem to distract me and pull me away from my time with You, to where I end up running on empty and I lose the joy and happiness that You wish for me to have in serving You. The days become monotonous, the problems seem overwhelming, and I lose Your joy—all because I don't avail myself of Your power.

311. Jesus‚ I don't want to operate like that any longer. I realize my need for You‚ and I truly do desire to have that special time with You each day to be strengthened and inspired. I want to have the renewed joy of serving You, the happiness of living for You. I've tried to do better in this area, but I've often taken a "defeatist" attitude toward it, feeling it would never work, and just accepting my circumstances rather than actively trying to find solutions. Please forgive me and help me‚ Jesus.

312. Please also help me to be more faithful to look to You for ways to put the New Wine into effect in my personal life. There is such an abundance of counsel and instruction You are pouring out through Your Words. Please help me to take the necessary time to study them, to pray about them‚ and to see the areas I can change and make progress in. I know this is an important key to my spiritual growth, so I'd like to ask for Your supernatural help with this.

313. Help me to do the humble thing at every opportunity, to humble myself before others, no matter how embarrassing it might be for me, or how humiliating. Please speak to my heart throughout the day and give me checks in the spirit when the opportunities arise for me to do the humble thing. Help me to be yielded and open to Your whispers and to follow through when You show me these things.

314. I'd also like to ask for Your help in asking You everything. I so much want to avail myself of the guidance and instruction You can give me throughout the day regarding every aspect of my life and work. Please give me reminders throughout the day‚ and as I make a conscious effort to follow through on the checks of Your Spirit, please help this to become a strong point in my personal life.

315. You told us that it is possible to change deeply ingrained habits and mindsets. I claim that, Jesus. I don't want to accept my circumstances. I don't want to be satisfied with the way I am, the way I think, or the way I feel. I want to change with Your help. I want my weaknesses to be strengthened and for my faith to grow. I reach out and accept the gift of change that's offered to me.

316. Thank You for answering these prayer requests, sweet Lover, and most of all, thank You for always being there for me. I love, need, and desire You so much!

Deliver me from the pitfall of pride

317. Dearest Husband, thank You for clearly spelling out my need for deliverance from pride. I come before You and before all these, my loved ones and friends, and ask that You deliver me from the grip of pride in my life. Humble me under Your mighty hand and teach me Your ways of humility. Break me and do whatever it takes to keep me in the place of yieldedness and utter dependence on You, which You are requiring and desiring me to be in. Thank You also for giving me Your Words and for sharing the specific ways that my pride is manifested right now. You said:

318. At this time of change and the setting up of the board vision and restructuring of the Family, one way that pride is manifested in you is through your desire to want to play an important role, to be part of an important ministry, one that receives a lot of attention and counsel from the top. In your heart, you don't see this as pride‚ but rather a desire for training, a desire to be able to experience, learn, and benefit from the wisdom of your shepherds. Though in itself it isn't wrong to want to partake of these ministries and to be an integral part of the running of the Family, it is important that you realize that there is a fine line there with you, and there is the danger and the pitfall of letting all of this go to your head.

319. Beware when all men speak well of you. Beware when you have gifts and talents that others praise you for, because for you it is the beginning of the pride which can bring your downfall in spirit. (End of message from Jesus.)

320. Dear Husband, please don't let that happen to me. Please forgive me and change me. Thank You Jesus! Sweet Lover, You also said:

321. To you whom I have given the honor to represent Me, to fight for My cause, and to stand up for the truth, there is also the great danger and pitfall of pride, of looking to yourself, of desiring the praise of man, of desiring lofty positions and showy talents. This is a very subtle attack, which you must be very mindful and aware of in your life.

322. In your heart you have always said that you want to be the "best of the best" for Me. This is a noble, loyal, and wonderful desire and goal. But remember that to be the best that you can for Me requires being humble and nothing, weak and insufficient in yourself, and willing to take on the lowliest tasks of leadership and servitude there can possibly be. Being the best that you can for Me does not mean being the most wise‚ the most talented, the most efficient, intelligent‚ capable, respected, revered, praised‚ needed‚ desired, or acclaimed in the eyes of the flesh, but it means the opposite.

323. You must remember that when you are weak and insufficient in yourself, then I will be everything through you. And when you realize completely that it is nothing of you, but just Me, only then will you have achieved your goal of becoming the "best of the best" for Me.

324. There is still much ground for you to gain, and the Enemy fights in your life to gain strongholds of pride. So be not tempted with his temptations, and fall not for those little flashy lights‚ but go deeper and seek the treasures of the unknown, the things that lie deep in the caverns of humility, of utter yieldedness, which produce the truly anointed, devoted, loyal and remarkable generals and warriors in My kingdom. (End of message from Jesus)

325. Dearest Husband, help me do as You instructed me, to close my eyes and forget the world around me, to forget my fleshly objectives, desires, challenges, excitement. Help me to forget all of the challenges of the flesh and desires of learning, of growing mentally, of understanding, and instead help me to seek the humility of Your Spirit‚ earnestly giving You my heart and mind, saying, "Not my will but Thine be done." I know this will take me to the highest path of Your will in my life and I will become the vessel that You want me to be.

326. Jesus, I yield myself completely to You, my Forever Love‚ and in desperation come before You for Your healing touch in my life. The above examples are only a fraction of the many ways in which pride is manifested in my life, and I realize now that I'm actually quite deep into this pitfall. (And I'd like to add here that You would help me, dear Love, to get more insight on specifically what other ways pride is manifested in my life.) Please release me and deliver me from the Enemy's grip, that I may start anew and become a new creature in You.

Prayer for a fighting spirit

327. Jesus, my sweet Lover and Husband, thank You so much for this special time of asking You to help me with my weaknesses. I thank You for the promise that when I am weak, You are strong, and Your wonderful power manifests itself in this earthen vessel of mine.

328. First of all, I'd like to pray for a fighting spirit. When it comes to my NWOs, I tend to get lethargic. You show me what areas I need to progress in, and I try a little bit, but then fall back into my old rut. I don't want that to happen again. I want to make changes. Help me to fight for changes.

329. I want to pray against the spirit of busyness. Help me not to be too busy to take time with You or my brethren. Help me to lean more to You instead of my own wisdom and the arm of the flesh. Help me to realize from my heart that this work is of You and not mine.

330. Along that line, please help me to ask You everything. I tend to do things in my own wisdom, but You are the only One Who knows everything and how things should be done. Help me to humble myself before You.

331. I want to also embrace the new weapons fully. Help me to be a better sample of using them in my daily life. Help me to fight to change my mode of operation. Help me to love You more. Help me to praise You more. Help me to be more like You by living in Your wonderful Word. Help me to apply the New Wine in my life—not only the new weapons‚ but also all the other beautiful instructions and revelations in Your Word.

332. I want to also pray that I can show my weakness to others. It's not so natural for me to do that, but You can change my nature. Help me to be more open and honest to others and show my weakness to them so they know that it is only You working in me and that I can do nothing without You.

333. Another area that I often fall short in is my interactions with my mate. Help me to be more loving and understanding toward her, and not to think highly of myself, that I'm better than her and know better than her. She is such a precious jewel in Your eyes. Help me to respect her more, listen to her more‚ and get her help more in humility. Help me not to be too busy to show her my love.

334. Lastly, Jesus, I need faith that You will anoint those who will be involved in the board structure. I need to have faith that You will help them make prayerful decisions and that You will protect the work‚ and even make the work prosper tremendously. Thank You for the board vision. I know that it will be a real blessing and encouragement to the Family. Please help me to embrace this vision with perfect faith. In the sweetest Name I've ever known—Jesus, I pray. Amen.

I want to live and breathe You!

335. Dear Jesus, I love You and I thank You for this opportunity that we have to come together to open our hearts before You and each other so that we can receive prayer and help. Thank You‚ my precious Love and Husband, that You're so near to us and that You will hear and answer our prayers. Help me to have the faith that You will do it as You've promised!

336. Jesus, I know there are so many areas that I lack in, but You've shown me which ones I should come before You for today, so I trust that You'll take care of these and all the rest too.

337. First, Lord‚ I want to ask for deliverance from pride. I want and need to be more humble and be more like You. I know that's easy to say‚ but the "doing" part is what's not always so easy. So I ask that You would help me to yield and say "yes" in the little things every day. When You give me a choice of whether to do the proud thing or the humble thing, or when You ask me to do the humble thing, help me to choose the path of humility.

338. I pray that You would rebuke pride and all the horrible things that come along with it: discouragement‚ lack of conviction, sensitivity, self-consciousness, self-righteousness‚ and more. I want You to fill me with the fruits and the gifts that come along with doing the humble thing.

339. I know that I need this change very desperately for the days that are ahead. I know that I need to have this change to be able to trust in You and depend upon You blindly and by faith alone. I know I need to get rid of my pride in order to be able to have the crazy faith that is going to be needed in the days to come. So I pray that You would help me to forget myself and put this faith into practice day by day in each of the little things.

340. Jesus, I also want to ask You to make me into the Mary that You want me to be. Help me to sit at Your feet and come to You at any time during the day. I know that I can't do anything at all without You, so I ask that I would be faithful to take this time with You every day and every week, to make time for You and take time with You no matter what I deem important or necessary, because, really, nothing is more important than taking that time with You. So I pray that You'll help me to remember that and act like it!

341. Along with that I want to ask that You will help my link with You to grow stronger. Help me to walk much closer to You, by checking in with You more, hearing from You, loving You and praising You much, much more. Help me to read, absorb, and live the Words that You pour out not only to me personally, but the Words that You pour out to the Family. Help me to concentrate on it and live them‚ so that I can become more what You want me to be.

342. Jesus, in short I want to live and breathe You. I know I have a long way to go‚ but I pray that I will walk closer so that I will reflect You more through my actions and in my life.

343. Thank You for Your promises to me. Even though it may look hard, You said that nothing is impossible! So I pray that You will answer this prayer and help me to do my part so that You'll be able to do Yours!

344. I love You to bits‚ Lord! You're absolutely wonderful and I'm so thankful that even though I'm unworthy, You still see fit to give me this extra blessing and help. Please help me to make the most of it and to follow through on what You've told me and shown me during this time‚ in Jesus' name!

Help me to keep my priorities straight

345. My precious Love, I first of all want to tell You how much I love You, and how thankful I am for this opportunity to be able to have prayer before my friends, mates, and co-workers. It's a blessing to be able to avail myself of Your help by coming before You and everyone here, as I know that there is great power in united prayer. I also want to thank You for everyone here and for the humility that they've shown by sharing their personal lessons. Their humility has made it so much easier for me to be able to ask for prayer and to be open and honest as well. Every one of them is such a wonderful sample to me, and I'm so thankful for each one.

346. I know that You know everything about me, but You still require that I vocalize my lessons and the different things that I'm learning and to share them with others. This is very good for me as it keeps me humble and not thinking more highly of myself than I ought to think. It's just a wonderful privilege that I will forever be thankful for.

347. You've spoken so many times about the importance of spending quality time with You, but I've fallen very short in this area once again. I know that I can't go on business as usual or I'm just going to burn out and be of no use for anything. I confess that I have let the pressures of the job and the difficulties of my own personal situation distract me, resulting in circumstances dictating whether I spend time with You or not. I've neglected some of my conference days, which has resulted in not having enough of Your grace and strength for even the simplest of daily tasks.

348. The problem with this is that it doesn't just affect me personally, but this has affected my sample to others as well‚ including my wife and children. This lack of spending more time with You in the bed of love has caused me to be frustrated, confused‚ and sometimes even rebellious about certain things. This has led to unyieldedness to the point of almost leaving my post and quitting.

349. The ultimate manifestation of this sin of not keeping the spiritual on top of my priority list is that I eventually lost the joy of my salvation. So many things just seemed like drudgery, and sometimes I couldn't find the strength to do anything at all, and I know this was a bad sample to others. There were times that I was not a sample of trusting You.

350. I want to ask for Your forgiveness for not keeping Word time, prophecy time, and my conference days in first place. I promise that I'm going to keep these priorities straight from now on—with Your help, of course! I want others to see the fruit of putting the Word first in my life. I want this‚ because then I will know for sure that they will not be drawn to me but to You, and only to You.

351. I've also been afraid to make mistakes, which is pride, and this has caused me to not be as honest with You and others as I know I should be. I know that pride hinders me and that it keeps me from showing myself weak at times. I know that I am so weak, and that without You I am absolutely nothing; but still I have found it difficult to show myself weak at times because it hurts my pride so much.

352. I pray against pride, and I pray that I can do the humble thing, to be a yielded, moldable, malleable tool in Your hands. I want things to be different because I know that they need to be different. I want to take on Your nature, just like You took on Your Father's nature, which then gave You the strength to rise above any difficulty. It seems humanly impossible for me to rise above my weaknesses, but by taking on Your nature, I know that I'll be able to do it and things will be different.

353. You said that the more I reach the point of recognizing my own weakness, the more I will know I need You; and the more I know I need You, the more I will call out to You and depend on You. You said that as my need and dependence on You grows, so does Your power within me grow, until I reach the point where Your Spirit and power rests fully upon me. You then said, and I quote, "Then you truly become a new creature in Me, one who defies all the odds and can do the impossible!" This is what I'm standing on, in Jesus' name! Amen! (End of CO prayers.)

Why Ask Again?

354. (Mama:) When you're preparing to ask for prayer, the Enemy will probably try to keep you from it in any way he can. But just go to the Lord with your questions, and know that Jesus wants you to take the step of asking for prayer, because it enables Him to help you so much more than if you didn't ask. No matter what the problem is or what obstacle hinders your asking for united prayer, He has a solution and will give it to you.

355. One of our young staff members who recently asked for prayer had the following question, and received this very good counsel from the Lord, which I think will be encouraging for you as well. I sent it around the week before several folks from our Home asked for prayer, so that everyone could benefit from the counsel and be prepared to do their part to bring about the victory!

356. (Question:) Why should I believe that this time of united prayer should make any more difference than the last time?

357. (Prayer: ) Dearest Jesus, You have told us so many times about the power that there is in united prayer, in the laying on of hands and coming together as a body in order to gain the victory over long-standing battles. But, Jesus, I've had united prayer in the past, and though I want to believe that the united prayer helped me to make the progress I needed, when I find myself falling back into the same traps that I had prayer against, it makes it hard for me to believe that it does, in fact‚ work.

358. So my question is: Why should I believe that having united prayer again will be the solution I need? If it didn't work completely in the past, why should it work now? Was there something that I didn't do that made the prayer of less effect? Was I doing something wrong?

359. Please do show me‚ Jesus. I want to make progress, and if united prayer is the route You want me to take and what will bring the victory, then I want to do it. But I also want to make sure that I do it right‚ so that I can ensure the victory this time around. I don't want to lose faith in the power of prayer‚ so help me now as I hear what You have to say about it. Remove anything that might hinder me from getting this clearly. Make me the channel that You need me to be.

360. (Jesus speaking:) My ability to completely change you is determined by how much you are desirous of change. Everybody wants to make progress in their life, but the extent of progress is the underlying question. To effect a complete turnaround in someone's life, the individual must desire a complete transformation; I am only able to take them as far as they're willing to go.

361. It's like learning a new sport, in a way. If you've never played a particular sport, it's hard to imagine that you will ever become good at it. It's so much easier for you to hide behind the sports that you do know and comprehend. In learning a new sport you have to be prepared to fall on occasion, to seem uncoordinated at times, to be the worst at it, before you make progress. You have to be willing to humble yourself in front of the others you're playing with, to realize that you have many steps in front of you before you'll master the art of that sport. Every time you fall‚ you have to be willing to get up and give it another try.

362. You may commit to the idea of learning a new sport, but sometimes as you find yourself in the middle of the fray and you realize that there's so much in front of you to learn, you're bound to question whether or not you'll ever master the sport.

363. It's not sufficient that you determine from the beginning that you want to learn the sport. That's the first step‚ yes, but each time you get out on the field or court to practice and increase your skill in that sport, you have to recommit to your desire to learn.

364. There are others with you learning the sport as well. Some of them are more advanced, others are on a par with you, while others might struggle behind. Because it's a team game, everyone must contribute toward the other's learning. They must guide and show how it's done, or simply encourage each other when you get frustrated with your slow progress. That's the role of all who participate in the game—to not only improve their own skills, but to help the others improve as well.

365. This is what it's like with asking for prayer. You must first make that initial decision to ask for prayer‚ to realize that you will be required to humble yourself before all in order to make progress. That's usually the hardest step to take, because as with your first attempt at a new sport, you're usually the clumsiest and make the most mistakes.

366. However, from then on, it still must be a continual commitment on your part to progress, regardless of the falls or your lack of coordination. Those continuing steps become just as important as the initial step you took in asking for prayer. Often those are the most discouraging, though, and this is when your perseverance is stretched and tested to the limit. It's during those times when you feel you should be making progress, but it seems so slow in coming, that you must be even more determined.

367. Remember, in sports you have your good days and your bad days too. There are the days when you go out and it seems everything you've learned is forgotten, and it becomes very frustrating; you're uncoordinated and fall regularly, and it can be discouraging. However‚ you may go out the next day and everything's fine; in fact, you've progressed! You seem more skilled than you were before, and you wonder how that's possible, seeing as the day before it was the total opposite!

368. Just because you have those less-than-coordinated days doesn't mean that you should quit, because if you did, that would mean that all those previous times of practice were wasted. Who wants to think of laborious work as wasted? No one does. And that's usually the boost that keeps you pursuing your dreams and goals in life.

369. Spiritual progress is often not seen in the same light; but it should be, because it's exactly the same. You have to first commit to the challenge to become what you are not, and you must then see it through, regardless of the mishaps, in order to master what you set out to learn. It's that simple.

370. Another important thing to remember is that when you ask for united prayer, the responsibility of making progress also rests on the body's shoulders. Having humbled yourself in coming before the body, you're admitting that you can't do it on your own; you're asking for help. Just like you ask for guidance from someone who is more advanced in a sport you're trying to master, asking for prayer works the same way.

371. Prayer and your commitment to progress then work together to bring about the desired result. You, as the one asking for prayer, must be willing to persevere in spite of the stumbles, and those who have prayed for you must realize that their job doesn't end with the initial prayer—it must continue until you have true victory.

372. It's easy to get desperate for someone when they first confess their need for help. If someone is contemplating a new sport, it's a natural impulse to encourage them to do it, offering to help them out if they need it. However‚ as time goes on, it's easy to get so wrapped up in your own progress that you forget to help someone else.

373. This is something that everyone needs to keep in mind, to realize as their responsibility. It's not enough that you get desperate for a person once when they come before the body and ask for prayer; the prayers must continue‚ the fervency must remain. The battle is no longer left to the individual; it becomes a united endeavor. The victory is for all to achieve through each person's individual prayers.

374. This is the course to victory, the way in which united prayer is fully enacted. It must begin with the desire for you to ask for prayer, to realize your need to change and progress. And then as a body you must all commit to stand by the victory you asked Me for, to lift the hands of the one who is in need of help. And the individual must be willing to follow through to triumph, no matter how difficult it may be. Only then can true victory be claimed.

375. The battle that rages now is fiercer than it has ever been. Everyone must rally behind the one who has asked for prayer and support them each step of the way. But you‚ as the one who has asked for prayer, must remember that the course of victory rests on you as well. You are in the forefront; you must be willing to continue the charge, to lead the others on‚ because it's your battle to win. Others are there to support you in the fight, to be the backup you need, to wield their swords at the Enemy on your behalf; but you are the one who must pursue the victory at all costs. You cannot blame your failure on the others, for in the end it is your decision to win the battle or to lose it.

376. What will it be for you? Will you pursue victory at any cost? Do you desire to triumph so badly that you're willing to go to whatever lengths to gain it? If so, then the victory will be yours. Count the cost from the start. Be prepared for whatever lies in front of you, and then go forward and claim the victory, rallying your fellow soldiers to fight with you. If you're willing to take those measures, then victory will be yours.

377. It's a simple process. You must:

  1. desire victory regardless of the cost;
  2. be prepared to go to any length;
  3. make the commitment; and, finally,
  4. persevere at all costs.

The formula is there. Find out how you can make it a part of your life, and let it become the means you need to gain the victories you need. (End of message from Jesus)

Prayer Against Pride, Self-righteousness and Criticism

378. (Mama:) This last prayer request is from Matthew‚ one of our co-workers who is very dear to Peter and me. We really don't know what we'd do without him. He heads up the administration team, in counsel with Peter, and is a tremendous blessing. As I told you in "Call on the Keys," we recently had to give him some correction, which he received wonderfully and has gone on to great victories. (See ML #3368:61-65, GN 962.) This is the prayer request he shared with our Home after receiving that correction, which I'm publishing because I think it will be motivating and convicting for you, too. Please note that he shared this prayer request several months before the "Conviction vs. Compromise" series or the worldwide prayer and fast day. So when he mentions fighting lethargy in his personal life and battling negativity about the problems of the Family, realize that it was before our wonderful Lover had provided the solutions and counsel given in that series.

379. Whenever we publish lessons or mistakes of your leadership‚ I'm always concerned that it doesn't become something that hinders you from respecting them or trusting the Lord in them. In my opinion, it should make you love and trust and respect them even more, when you see how they humble themselves before the Lord and you and are desperate to be whatever He needs them to be in order to serve you in His Spirit.

380. Of course they're not perfect—but no one is perfect, including Peter and me! What matters is if they are willing to acknowledge their mistakes and apologize—and in so doing, they can help you to avoid those same pitfalls. The Lord works in the lives of your leadership just as much if not more than in your life, because He knows they need to stay humble and broken before Him, and that their lessons and breakings help them to be an even greater help to you, as they can comfort you with the comfort wherewith they have been comforted.

381. So whenever you see one of your leaders going through a time of lesson learning, rather than growing critical or losing respect for them‚ your respect and thankfulness should increase, knowing that it's helping them to do a better job for the Lord and for you.

Matthew shares his prayer request

382. (Matthew prays:) Thank You that I can have this time this morning to ask my loved ones to pray for me. I pray that no one will feel uncomfortable or embarrassed for me. I'm very thankful to be up here in front of everyone asking for prayer, and I am thankful for this humbling. If it can draw me closer to You and make me less proud, then I'm very thankful for it, Jesus. I'm thankful my mates are here to pray for me and help me through this.

383. Help me to be clear as I read this and present this prayer request. Please anoint this time. I call on the power of the keys, that You will give me the humility and the conviction to read these prayer requests and make things clear to everyone here. Thank You for them being here to help me. Amen. (End of prayer.)

384. Thanks for coming, everybody. I'll just read the request I have prepared here‚ as it's long. If you have questions or if something isn't clear, I'll be happy to explain it.

385. (Matthew reads his request:) Thank you, my dear mates‚ for taking your time to pray with and for me today. I know I can't make it without your united prayer and help.

386. I want to say I'm sorry and to ask for your forgiveness for my bad sample in advance of sharing the following prayer request. I recently received some very strong correction from the Lord and Mama and Peter, which I really needed and am thankful for. I've been guilty of the sins of pride, self-righteousness, criticalness and dereliction of duty.

387. I'm sure all of you will immediately recognize at least some of the following sins and weaknesses in me, if not all, and will be wondering what's taken me so long to get up here and get prayer. Sadly, because of my pride, I'm usually the last one to see my weaknesses and sins‚ and it usually takes a two-by-four to get through to me. I'm very sorry for that‚ and although I wish it weren't so, the Lord uses it to humble my pride, self-righteousness and self-confidence. So I am very thankful for whatever my Husband chooses to do, as I want to be humbled, and through it, to gain more humility and dependence on Jesus and all of you.

388. This time of correction was no different, and I needed help to see my problems. Mama and Peter have talked to me several times about some of my deep-seated NWOs of being too laid back, not prayerful and thorough enough, too strong with my opinions, etc. So they were very aware of my NWOs intensifying. Since I have had these ongoing problems, they were praying for me and waiting for the Lord's timing on giving me the shepherding I needed. But when they heard from Misty, God bless her, that I was becoming critical‚ it set off alarm bells that I needed correction and help right away. Because‚ although I've had these other ongoing weaknesses and NWOs, my becoming critical was very recent, which was indicative that I was really heading down the wrong road and that my sample was off and could be hurtful to others if not corrected.

389. I want to say that I am very thankful to my Husband, Who in His mercy has given me two wives during my time in the Family who have had the conviction to help me in my weak areas. I love them both dearly for that. I don't know if I'd still be here without that kind of safeguard in my life. I often have a hard time seeing when I am missing important checks concerning my pride or self-righteousness or getting too laid back or insensitive to people or my sample being off. I have lots of pride and carnal weaknesses and bad habits, and when I get out of the spirit, these weaknesses and NWOs become very strong and almost overpowering. I'm very thankful to my first mate, Mary, for all that she did to help me during the years we were together. And I can truly say that it makes me admire and love Misty more for her conviction to help shepherd and keep me on the straight and narrow.

390. Before I get into all the nitty-gritty stuff, I would just like to testify of a great miracle that happened to me this time in my correction. I have had over 50 years of correction in my life, and lots of it. And I have always hated and resisted it. Before the Family it was mainly because of my total resentment of any authority over me. Thankfully, being in the U.S. Army and the early years in the Family knocked some of that chip off my shoulder. But even in the Family I dreaded correction and "NWO talks"—I'm sure partly because of this resentment of authority. But I believe the main reason was because of the discouragement and despair it brought me, as I felt in my heart that I just wouldn't be able to change. Of course, prayer works and there was some change over the years, but I would still be overcome with hopelessness.

391. But this time when Mama came to give me a prophecy about my problems, I immediately called on the power of the keys to the Kingdom to give me a desire for the correction rather than a fear of it. I prayed desperately even before reading the prophecy that I would be able to fully receive it all, without any condemnation or discouragement. And the Lord miraculously did it! I haven't had one moment of condemnation or discouragement, thinking that I couldn't change and get the victory over these problems and weaknesses in my life and walk with the Lord. So I'm a huge believer in the power that the Lord has now given us through the keys of the Kingdom, and I'm positive that they have been activated in my life. Glory to God!

392. After I had a chance to read the prophecy—a message from Jesus to me—and pray about it, then Mama and Peter talked with me for two hours. Even during that time, I felt a total peace. Afterwards they gave me more counsel from the Lord—this time it was about me rather than to me—with more detail, again hard-hitting. I read that additional counsel from the Lord the next morning and was able to receive it without feeling at all discouraged, which was another huge miracle.

393. Now, I'd like to move on to my problems and sins, which I desperately need your prayers to overcome. Of course, all are rooted in sickening ugly pride and self-righteousness, as you will see.

394. First, the Lord and my shepherds clearly pointed out how lethargic and lazy in spirit I've become recently. This came as no revelation to me, as I have known for some time that I was giving up the fight in spirit and feeling tired and weary and defeated. I had been listening to the Enemy's voice concerning how hopeless some problems were in the Family that didn't seem to be changing. That feeling of "why try, nothing changes anyway" was a lie of the Enemy‚ which I believed because I had become spiritually weak and was giving up the fight.

395. From reading reports over the years, most of which deal with problems, I allowed myself to get weakened because I began looking at things carnally and trying to figure them out, rather than taking all these problems to the Lord for His reading and viewpoint and solutions. That was the root of the weakening—my not being faithful to always ask the Lord and hear from Him in prophecy about the problems. Therefore I didn't get His perspective and answers, and was left only with the negativity and weight of the problems.

396. But, even though I felt myself weakening and losing the vision and desire to fight, in my pride, rather than admitting these problems and asking for help and prayer‚ I simply reverted to trying to fight the Devil off in my own strength. I've failed miserably and ended up just getting more and more laid back and being a bad sample and bad representation of my present post in the Family. Mama and Peter gave me one prophecy directed to me and another one about me. These both explained in detail about my problems, most of which are long-term or deeply ingrained bad habits—such as being too laid back, talking unprayerfully off the top of my head‚ forming opinions without being fully informed‚ and dealing with problems superficially. But these bad habits had worsened to the point of becoming serious spiritual problems of lethargy, familiarity, and spiritual laziness‚ which had affected my work.

397. Here's what the Lord had to say about that:

398. I have commissioned you as an officer who carries a spiritual burden, and in some ways you have gone AWOL [absent without leave, or permission]. You have grown weary in well doing. In some ways‚ you have abdicated your spiritual responsibilities, and that has caused you to become relaxed, laid back, familiar, and off guard. You have not been willing to accept the greater responsibility I have offered you. You've pawned it off in some ways on others, and therefore through the unlawful lightening of your load you have lost the sense of urgency, inability, desperation, and utter dependence on Me that are absolutely necessary if you are to have success and be the sample you should be.

399. You see‚ the sheer magnitude of a person's responsibility is often what keeps him close to Me. When someone knows that he can't possibly do it on his own, he's "forced" to be desperate‚ to seek Me, to stir himself up to seek a higher power. When you have your back against the wall, when the weight of your responsibility and all that is hinging on you is ever before your face, of course it motivates you to obey; it humbles you‚ it causes you to need others, and it helps you respect others who also carry a heavy load.

400. But when a person casts off that responsibility, either through unwillingness to carry it or in an effort to lighten the load and make things more comfortable for himself, with that abdication comes the loss of some of these crucial spiritual attitudes and qualities. With less desperation‚ one naturally feels more secure in himself, less in the fear of Me, more comfortable, better able to do things on his own, and easily critical of others. (End of excerpt of message from Jesus.)

401. (Matthew:) The Lord also said:

402. Some of Matthew's weaknesses were also exacerbated by the arrival of the young people and his desire to impress them. He wanted to be seen as "cool." But in an effort to not be seen as self-righteous, he overreacted and has allowed that very laid–back spirit to dictate more and more of his reactions. It has now grown to be quite a serious problem‚ as it not only results in work that is not thorough enough or prayed about enough, but it's also a stumbling block to those who see a very shallow, superficial approach to work and problems.

403. Matthew's laid-back attitude is also manifested in his verbal reactions. He's quick to say some rash‚ sweeping statement in what looks like frustration. Because Matthew doesn't analyze or have a tendency to question much, he is exasperated when others do. Though he doesn't realize it‚ he thinks, "Why can't they just flow? Why do we have to get into all this?" and that causes him to want to deal with some problems in a quick, but very unrealistic manner. It's laid back in that it's a surface fix-it plan, something simple and not comprehensive, and it is delivered in a very lazy sit-back-and-relax tone, like, "Hey, what's the hurry?" Or it's delivered in an upset, "Let's get on with this" tone. But while both appear very different, they're both laid back in that they're underestimating the problem and solution.

404. This is also tied into spiritual laziness, because it takes a lot of sacrifice, effort‚ strength, faith and perseverance to be thorough and to tackle big jobs or problems. (End of excerpt of message from Jesus.)

405. (Matthew:) When I asked the Lord for more input on my lethargic and spiritually lazy spirit, He said:

406. You are naturally easygoing‚ but your easygoing nature turns into a laid-back attitude when you get weary and stop caring about others as I do. I was willing to give My all for each one, and that is what is needed in your life too. To be a Christian leader, each person must be so important to you that it doesn't matter what it costs you to help and be there for him or her. When you stop caring for others with My love, you can't be much help, because your love is not enough, which of course you recognize; so then you feel incapable and get weary trying in the flesh, and adopt a laid-back "there's nothing I can do about it" attitude.

407. You know that My love and wisdom is the answer‚ so why do you hesitate to come to Me? I'll tell you why. It's because of laziness and pride. You've become lazy in spirit because you've kind of settled down and aren't fighting to move forward. You got weary and want to just do what you have to, to maintain. But that's a proud, old-bottle attitude and has no part in My revolution.

408. Let this be a wake-up call to you, My wife. Get back in the saddle and start moving toward the goal. Get ready to fight the Enemy at every turn. There is no discharge in this army! It's the Devil's new tack to convince you (and many others in the Family) that, "You've done enough; you're tired and weary and need to be able to slow down and take it easier." But I never promised My disciples that. I cannot, because My Spirit keeps moving forward, and it doesn't matter what age you are or how long you've served Me, you must fight on! There is no discharge in this war! I will carry you over the next mountain or change or revolution and through the next battle. (End of message from Jesus.)

409. (Matthew:) So in this area‚ I'd first like to ask your forgiveness for my bad sample and the trials or disappointment I've caused you. And I'd like to have prayer, calling on the power of the keys against:

410. • Lethargy, which the Lord has made very clear to me is one of the primary roots of the spiritual drifting that happened in my life.

411. • A laid-back, not concerned enough attitude.

412. • Lack of thoroughness and a disdain for getting into the nitty-gritty of complications and problems. Spiritual laziness.

413. • Deliverance from talking "off the cuff" without being fully prayed up and informed. That I'll learn to listen better, study and research more, and above all, ask the Lord before speaking. And that I won't try to tone down the severity of problems to make them appear simple with simple solutions, if the situation calls for desperation‚ fighting in spirit‚ and getting involved.

414. • Against a "big shot" attitude and reluctance to take upon myself the hard, complicated, long-term projects, and wanting to pawn them off on others. That I can learn from Peter's sample. The Lord brought out in the prophecy to me that I need to take a lesson from the story in the Good Thots where George Washington pitched in to help his men move the log while the corporal stood by watching and directing. When Washington asked the officer why he didn't help, he said, "Why, I'm the corporal. Can't you see?" Washington replied‚ "I see. Then next time your men need help, call on me. I'm only the Commander-in-chief." Peter is very much like Washington in that story, always there to pitch in, and I want to pray that I can be more like that. (See GT2, page 1449, #117.)

415. I'd like to say I'm sorry to my teamwork and any others that I've had this spirit around and caused them trials and extra burdens. Please pray I can change immediately in this area and overcome this lethargy and laid-back attitude.

416. Next, I need desperate prayer against pride, familiarity‚ resentment, a criticizing, self-righteous spirit, and lack of fear of the Lord. I allowed myself to become critical of various people and situations in the Home. That was bad enough, but then in pride I got even more off guard and started becoming critical of Mama and Peter, and voiced that criticism to Misty repeatedly regarding various situations that I didn't agree with‚ so it was obvious I was getting pretty out of it. I wasn't critical of the Word or the direction the Family is moving. I wasn't critical of the board vision or any important decisions regarding the leadership of the Family. I was then and still am convinced that Mama and Peter are led of the Lord and going in the right direction. But I allowed myself to get critical about smaller issues, things that I allowed to get "personal" between me and them.

417. Mama and Peter are very open to suggestions‚ and they don't mind if you have other ideas or even disagree. They welcome other opinions; they know they need counselors. They don't want to surround themselves with yes men. So there is no problem in bringing up the other side of issues, and they realize that sometimes you might disagree and have a little battle about it. That's natural. But when all is said and done, it is their responsibility to pray and hear from the Lord about the final decisions, when they've benefited from counsel. The final call in these particular matters that I was critical about was theirs. In my pride I wasn't willing to let go of my opinions on the matter and accept their final decisions, and I became critical of what they decided‚ and every once in a while those criticisms would surface. Thankfully, the Lord didn't let that go on very long.

418. About these problems the Lord said:

419. You have fallen prey to a critical spirit, which has caused you unhappiness. You know this displeases Me greatly.

420. The root of these problems is pride. Everyone has problems with pride to varying degrees and has to fight it. It's a continual fight. You have let pride in, and it has gained a stronghold in your heart. You think too highly of yourself, and this is the source of many wrong attitudes, reactions and comments‚ which have hurt others.

421. In pride, you have become self-confident, and it's greatly weakened your sample and walk with Me.

422. This should be the thing that is easiest for you to recognize as a serious problem. Your criticism of the king and queen, the Home shepherds‚ and almost everyone else in the Home from time to time should wake you up to the danger you're in. The fact that you can criticize and not heed My checks that you're treading on very dangerous ground shows that you have become very proud. You have been taught your whole time in the Family that it is wrong and dangerous and divisive to criticize leadership—how much more so to criticize the king and queen‚ My appointed Endtime shepherds.

423. You have repeatedly voiced unwarranted criticism to Misty, and I am angry with you about this. This is the result of pride and familiarity. When you think about it, you will see how very wrong you have been‚ how you have accepted attitudes or "complaints" that were not founded in the truth, how you have judged matters without being informed.

424. You have taken on carnal attitudes and have judged surface judgments, implying through your criticisms that the king and queen are wrong‚ and consequently must not be praying or hearing from Me.

425. There have been others who have gone before you who also fell into the same critical spirit. Some have been salvaged; others have gone back, some even into the camp of your enemies. Criticism of your co-workers and mates is no small thing, and spreading it to others is worse still. When you get to the point that you can even criticize the king and queen, you're in bad shape. This is the tip of the iceberg of pride and familiarity, and without an immediate repentance and cleansing, you will only continue down this path of delusion and pride until you find sudden destruction.

426. Pride is what makes you feel self-confident, what makes you able to blow off My checks, what makes you resistant to My checks to pray and ask Me‚ what makes you touchy and defensive when others try to check you. Pride gives way to carnality‚ which gradually replaces the dominance of My Spirit in your life. Pride is depending on yourself rather than using the new weapon of prophecy or intercessory prayer. It's depending more on your own arm than on Me.

427. Most criticism and familiarity is born of pride—but especially to be critical of the king and queen or to disagree not to their face, but privately, talking behind their backs and sowing division. If someone disagrees but does so in the right way‚ that is not criticism. To bring up other ideas, even contradictory opinions, is not wrong; it's part of counseling and finding My leading so the king and queen can see all sides of a situation. But if someone continues to disagree with a final decision after they have brought up the other side and it has been explored and prayed about by those who bear the final weight of responsibility, or if the disagreement is voiced behind the backs of their leadership, it's usually pride, lack of fear of Me, resentment, and sensitivity. (End of message from Jesus.)

428. (Matthew:) When I asked the Lord the reasons I became critical of Mama and Peter, He said:

429. Being critical‚ especially of your leadership, can only be the result of pride and self-righteousness. Thinking you know best, thinking your way is the right way, your ideas are the best ones. Thinking, "they shouldn't have done this, or they should have done it this way." And on and on it goes, until you are steeped in self-righteousness‚ pride and criticalness, and are no longer seeing things in the spirit, but seeing them from your own carnal reasoning.

430. Being critical of your shepherds can be the road to destruction‚ and once you start on that road, it often takes a rebuke to help you see where you are heading. I'm very thankful that you called on the power of the keys to help you let Me humble you so you could see clearly where your mistakes have been, and the sins that they led to. The Devil tries to make you feel that you should be able to have your own views and opinions and voice them. He's right, if they are voiced to the proper people and in the proper way. But when it gets to where you are saying things behind your leaders' backs and disagreeing with them to others rather than presenting your views to your leaders themselves, then you've crossed the line and are being critical, self–righteous and proud.

431. It's the little foxes that spoil the vines, and if you give the Devil an inch on the spiritual principles you've been taught, you will soon be giving him a mile and doing things you never thought possible.

432. Familiarity is a dangerous game—in a marriage‚ a teamwork, or with your leaders; it can destroy all the good that I would have you do together. Familiarity is an occupational hazard in any of the above relationships and must be guarded against doggedly, for it is a killer. Peter has very humbly expressed to you several times that he allowed himself to get familiar with Dad a couple of times, but that I shook him up to see that it was the road to destruction, as it was for Rachel, Jethro, Deborah, Timothy, and others. Familiarity enters subtly into My soldiers' hearts.

433. The Devil knows that if he can get you to doubt and criticize your leaders, you will soon be criticizing your entire movement and your God. Through your pride, you got self-confident and felt you didn't need the daily and continual humbling necessary to keep you in the Family and in your position, that you are humble enough! That's almost funny, if it weren't so deadly serious.

434. Through your pride, you allowed the Devil to deceive you into thinking you knew best; but in your heart you knew it was a lie, which led you to unhappiness and beginning to give up in spirit. That is the ultimate purpose of the Devil‚ to convince you to be proud and self-righteous, leading to your disdain of the spiritual weapons at your disposal‚ and reliance on your own strength and wisdom. This eventually leads to condemnation, as you realize that you can't make it and you begin to see how dirty your self-righteous critical spirit is. The next step‚ if you don't humble yourself and ask for forgiveness and prayer, is that you go back to wallowing in the mire of self, because you know that in yourself you can never attain perfection, and yet you do not humble yourself to cry out to Me for My mercy and forgiveness.

435. I'm sorry this happened, My love. Had you stayed close to My Word and intimate with Me in our bed of love, had you let Me keep you weak and broken and dependent, this need not have happened. But don't get condemned. "There is no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit." Because you are humbling yourself and calling on the power of the keys, I will take you to new heights of the spirit as you draw close to Me again.

436. You must not go on one more day with business as usual. You must have a complete metanoia, have prayer from your mates‚ and get back to being positive and praiseful of Me, your king and queen, your mates and your wonderful Family.

437. I realize that it's a temptation to question and even criticize your Family when you often read reports about problem situations. But your big mistake has been not taking those battles and questions and even doubts that you read in letters from the Family on the field to Me, instead of leaning to your own carnal reasoning, which was so wrong and off. For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways. For as the heavens are higher than the Earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts. Who hath known the mind of the Lord? Or who hath been His counselor? For of Him, and through Him‚ and to Him‚ are all things.

438. The Word is a light in the darkness and will repel the darkness from your spirit, your mind‚ and your life. Nothing else will work. You cannot fight the Devil in your own strength and wisdom; he'll clobber you every time. (End of message from Jesus)

439. (Matthew:) The problem was me, not Mama and Peter. They were taking my suggestions and observations seriously and praying about them and confirming with the Lord what was best, but I wasn't. If I voiced a different view from what Mama and Peter were recommending, they would pray about it, and then they would tell me that they prayed about it and the Lord showed them to do such-and-such. The problem I developed with criticalness was because I didn't forsake my view or opinion at that point, but held on to it, which led me to criticize Mama and Peter—and the Lord, Lord forgive me!

440. Mama and Peter are very open to suggestions and ideas—more than anyone I've ever known—and they're willing to go with other plans and methods if the Lord confirms to them that it's okay. I had just become proud and self-righteous in thinking my way was best. I wasn't praying about my suggestions‚ and so they weren't Spirit-led or what was needed. My criticisms were totally unfounded and I was seeing things so self-righteously in the flesh. I feel so ashamed now of my attitude. But I believe the Lord allowed it to humble me and help me to see where I was headed, and I'm thankful for that.

441. Mama and Peter have been so gracious and forgiving‚ despite my waywardness. I feel much like the fellow that Edison allowed to be responsible for the second light bulb. (See Good Thots 2, page 1286, #287.) We have amazingly just and understanding shepherds watching over us all in this great Family. Praise the Lord!

442. In another prophecy, Jesus told me:

443. Self-righteousness is the most deadly sin and the hardest to recognize. One reason it's so hard for My children to see is because pride takes such a strong hold in their lives that they can no longer see, nor do they even want to see‚ how critical and self-righteous they are being. Through pride they feel that the way they see things is the best way, and that they are right. They feel they are strong and everyone else is weak. But that is because they are seeing everything in the flesh and are working in their own strength.

444. This is what happened to you, Matthew. Because you got discouraged and tired of fighting the spiritual warfare, and stopped looking to Me at every turn and letting Me continually soften your heart through My Word and voice, you began to look to your own wisdom. This resulted in pride, and as always, self-righteousness followed. You were becoming blinded by this self-righteousness and My voice and checks were not being received, and it was getting harder and harder to get through to you. (End of message from Jesus.)

445. (Matthew: ) Closely related to pride and self-righteousness is sensitivity, which I manifested in not receiving checks from others and not being communicative, open and honest. On this the Lord said:

446. Matthew is sensitive. He's afraid of correction, and he lashes out when you cross him or he feels you're insinuating that he's wrong. This isn't the case all the time, but it happens sometimes. It happens often enough to indicate a problem, and to point to a strong case of sensitivity.

447. The pride and sensitivity are also the cause of his lack of openness. He tries to mask it‚ but the truth of the matter is that he's closed. He doesn't want to expose his battles, weaknesses, fears, criticisms, etc. This is naturally more difficult for men than women‚ but Matthew doesn't even see that he's closed or doesn't communicate because he doesn't see what he'd have to say. He thinks, "Everything is fine, so what's the problem?" He doesn't want to show his innermost weaknesses. He's afraid it will come back to him somehow, that he'll lose something—others' respect or trust.

448. This fear is pride. It's bondage. It's a shame that he feels this way‚ because after being so close to the king and queen‚ he should know better. He is a man of few words; he doesn't like to put forth the effort to communicate. He prefers to just let things pass. He is prone to do that with his problems as well, not realizing the seriousness of some of them. And then when he does catch a glimpse of his problems, he falls into the depths of despair and discouragement, as well as pride and sensitivity. I expect more of him, and others expect more of him; they expect more openness and honesty. It's an important sample. (End of message from Jesus.)

449. (Matthew: ) Another message the Lord gave me on this subject said:

450. As I said earlier, everyone has pride; everyone has problems. Some can keep on top of these natural tendencies because they're willing to be shepherded by Me‚ and they're more communicative. They pour out their hearts and therefore get the help they need. Because you hate correction so much, you subconsciously try to do whatever is necessary to avoid it. You don't want to be corrected so you don't communicate‚ especially not your mistakes and sins. You don't want to communicate your problems via personal messages of correction received from Me either, so this creates a blockage in your channel. You don't necessarily want your shepherds to know the nitty-gritty, so you are not open to receive the correction that I would otherwise have given you.

451. Had you been more willing to allow Me to shepherd you, more willing to open your channel to Me, to ask Me questions about how you're doing, about your sample, and had you really wanted to hear the correction‚ I could have told you. I could have saved you a lot of this pain and heartache, as I would have helped you to see the truth. But I can't give correction if you don't want it, if you resist it and refuse to receive it. Therefore, I have to resort to using your earthly shepherds and those close to you in the flesh.

452. Of course‚ the most important thing is that you finally do get the correction. But it's much easier and more efficient, too, and keeps you from getting so far off track if you receive the shepherding I wish to give you through times of opening your own channel to My voice of prophecy and My specific instruction regarding your weak areas. That's the key to staying on the straight and narrow—receiving those little checks, those little taps, which make it unnecessary to receive a big correction from Me that is much more embarrassing‚ time-consuming, shocking, and potentially discouraging and disruptive to your life.

453. So make this a lesson for the future, dear love, and take the time to receive from Me. Let Me shepherd you and correct you. Check in with Me. Ask Me how you're doing. Be open to receiving My little chidings, be communicative along the way‚ and you'll avoid these big spankings and all the trouble and problems that come with them. (End of message from Jesus.)

454. (Matthew:) My prayer requests in this area that I'd like to ask you to pray for me with the power of the keys, are:

455. • Against pride and self-righteousness and the self-confidence that comes with it, which results in my thinking I know better or that my ideas and ways are best—when actually many times they aren't‚ and especially weren't when I was blinded by my own pride and self-righteousness and was not seeing things in the spirit.

456. • Against the stronghold pride has in my heart.

457. • Against any inferiority complexes I have that make me feel I have to prove myself.

458. • Against sensitivity to correction and fear of exposing my weaknesses and sins to my shepherds.

459. • Against a critical spirit, which has caused me much unhappiness and which is dangerous to my spiritual life. That I can immediately be delivered from it and that I won't fall prey to it again.

460. • Against carnality and analyzing things in the flesh, and against surface judgments that are not founded on prayer and counsel and research of all the pertinent information.

461. • That I'll immediately be delivered of familiarity toward Mama and Peter and others in the Home, and that the Lord will continue to humble me.

462. • And that everyone will have the love and grace to forgive me and help me do better. I need your checks and safeguards. Please tell me when you see me falling into these bad habits. I want you to tell me.

463. This is my prayer, which I prayed earlier, shortly after receiving the correction:

464. Jesus‚ I want this to be my "whatever it takes" prayer. I guess until now I didn't have the faith or even the burden to pray it. I found ways to justify my not having done it before, but the reasons were so lame. I was just too deceived and weak and therefore unwilling to pray it. But now I ask You in all sincerity to do whatever it takes to help me get back on the wall and moving forward in spirit again. I've failed You‚ my king and queen, the COs, my teamwork and my mates in WS‚ and I repent of my horrible sins and attitudes this moment and ask for forgiveness from You, my king and queen and my mates.

465. I'm thankful, beyond belief, for this correction and exposure of my sins‚ wrong attitudes and weaknesses. I'm ashamed of the horrible critical and self-righteous spirit I fell into through my pride. I'm sorry I gave up in spirit and just wanted to drift along. As Dad said about the churches, they thought they had arrived at the top‚ but were on a slope and began drifting backwards. Thank You for my shepherds and loved ones' help and prayers that stopped me in time so I didn't completely crash.

466. I truly don't want to ever have another day where my pride causes me to be critical and self-righteous of others or to think I can do anything on my own without You. I want the victory over being so strong and forceful with my opinions and causing people to have to get confrontational about things with me.

467. (Matthew interjects: It's one thing to bring a point to the discussion and to present what might be a possible solution, but when you come on so strong with your point and what you feel is the best solution, it causes others to have to confront you personally rather than just discussing the point, which is very uncomfortable for people. The point is not who's got the right point or solution, but that the point is put on the table for discussion and looked at from all angles to discover the best possible solution, and then that it's taken to the Lord to see if He agrees and what He has to say or add.)

468. This is the harder of my weaknesses to overcome, because it's such a long-term habit and part of my personality, but I believe with the power You've given me through the keys to the Kingdom and Your grace I can finally overcome this weakness that makes me less effective as a counselor than I could be.

469. Please do whatever it takes to sober me and make me more aware of the spiritual battle raging around me. Do whatever it takes to help me take things seriously and not be laid back or so dull and lazy in spirit that I don't want to attack. I pray that You won't let me get so far off the track again, Jesus, no matter what it takes. I'm willing to do whatever it takes. I put everything on the altar—my wife, my job, my closeness to Mama and Peter‚ my comfort, my friendships, and anything else that would hinder me from getting as close to You as I can and want to. I love You so much. I truly can't completely understand yet how I allowed myself to neglect You and Your power to such an extent, but it is becoming more and more clear to me each day as I pray, read, and hear from You and others.

470. Please help me to communicate more openly and honestly. Help me not to be so proud and afraid of being exposed for my sins and weaknesses.

471. Help me to do whatever it takes to fight the spiritual lethargy that is holding me back. I know it's going to take a lot of work on my part, but You give me the strength and will to fight on. I can't work it up. Thank You that Your Word has come so alive to me again. It seems unless it's a lifeline to me, I drift. I'm sorry that I've drifted, but please have mercy and renew my hunger and increase my vision again through Your wonderful Word and Your personal Words to me. I need You so very desperately right now.

472. I have full assurance that You are there for me and that nothing is impossible for You. You can even help me change these long–standing bad habits and overcome my weaknesses through Your Word and the power You've given me through the keys. I don't think I could have made it without the power of the keys.

473. Whatever it takes, my dear Husband‚ I am determined to forsake my sins and start fighting in spirit and make the changes necessary to regain the ground I gave to the Enemy. Please help me, as I can't do it without You pushing, pulling, and directing me each step of the way. I'm not going into this with blind exuberance either. I know it's going to be a battle each step of the way and I'm going to fall at times, but like Jacob, I refuse to let go until I receive the blessing that I so desperately want.

474. Thank You, my Love, for rekindling my fire and desire for You. I want to be with You every waking moment and sleep in Your arms each night. I feel so weak and helpless, and I've never felt the need for You as much as I do at this moment.

(After several people pray for Matthew, the Lord speaks in prophecy with His encouragement and confirmation that the victory is won:)

475. (Jesus speaking, excerpts:) It's one thing just to stick! You have stuck by Me, My son, and now you have come before your mates and humbled yourself in My sight. And because you have humbled yourself‚ I will be faithful to cleanse you from all your sins.

476. It's an uphill fight from this day forward‚ but you are fighting! You're not sitting back. You're going up the mountain and you're allowing Me to take you up, step by step, looking to Me, depending on Me, confessing your need for Me, so you have nothing to worry about. Be encouraged, because when you are going forward you're getting somewhere. It is when you stop‚ get weary, and give up that you start to go back. So even though it might be painful at times, even though you might get corrected at times—and you will—don't get discouraged, because you're fighting, and fighters win! It's when you quit fighting that you know you've got problems.

477. The future is as bright as My promises‚ and I have given you a lot and I keep My Word. You can count on it. You can stand on it. You can claim it. It will do the miracles. I have also blessed you with greater faith and the power of the keys to the Kingdom. I have given you all power over Heaven and Earth, over all power of the Enemy, and you have nothing to fear or worry about. You just need to fight. I'm going to help you to fight as you look to Me. All your mates are here beside you. You are one in Me. All for One and One for all. Go forward. Know that I am with you and that I will do what I said. (End of message from Jesus.)

478. (Jesus speaking:) It takes great faith to leave the shelter of self and walk out into the sunshine of openness and humility, exposing all your fears before all. But the man who walks out of himself at the call of My voice, coming to Me, will in no wise lose his reward. For he that seeks to save himself shall lose it, but he that humbles himself in My sight shall be lifted up, and he shall never lose his reward.

479. He shall be an example to many of the humility that I call for and want in all My servants and those who follow Me. To follow Me and be My disciple is a death to self‚ a death to pride, a death to wanting to protect and keep yourself private, closed, insulated and isolated from the world. I have bought each one of you with a price and I am calling you out. I am calling you out of the valleys and places of sin‚ darkness, weakness and confusion. I'm calling you out to the light. But to come to the light it sometimes hurts, for you feel exposed, humbled, vulnerable and weak. Nevertheless, in that weakness you shall find strength—for you will be less confident in yourself and you will learn to lean on Me. You will not be so defensive of foolish pride and the mindsets and things of the world which cannot last and will be destroyed with this world, but you will place your confidence in things above‚ looking unto Me, the Author and Finisher of your faith.

480. So come out, My children! Come out into the sunlight, into the open air. It is hard at first. It is humbling‚ but it is so liberating. Once you shed the shackles of self, you'll be free to dance again in the sunshine of My glorious spirit and liberty, the liberty which I give unto all the children of God. Let no man take away your freedom. (End of message from Jesus.)

481. (One of the Home shepherds:) Personally‚ I really admire Matthew for coming and asking for prayer. I'm sure we all do. You know how it is when someone asks for prayer: You understand them more, you have more sympathy‚ more love and understanding for them, and you pray for them more. But the Enemy does try to come in and get you critical of that person at times. But I got that verse, "Let him that is without sin cast the first stone." And "Judge not, that you be not judged" (John 8:7; Mat.7:1).

482. (Another Home shepherd:) Recently, the Lord has been highlighting a lot of things for all of us. But there have been a few people who have been up here asking for prayer and reading us these really powerful prophecies that the Lord has given them, and often the tendency is to feel sorry for them, or to feel like, "Wow, the Lord is really working in their lives‚ poor things!"

483. I was getting the verse, "The judgments of the Lord are true and righteous altogether; more to be desired are they than gold, yea‚ than much fine gold" (Psa.19:9-10).

484. Recently the Lord said to one of our mates, whose life He's working in strongly, that they are a billionaire in the spirit. So we shouldn't feel sorry for anyone or think, "Lord, I hope that doesn't happen to me, that I would get that kind of correction and have to get up and ask for prayer!"

485. We can follow Matthew's example and say, "Wow, thank the Lord! This is my chance to become liberated!"

486. (Matthew:) I'm very thankful Misty told Mama and Peter about my misbehavior. People often get really worked up when they suspect or find out that someone they're close to has "told on them." But you know, it's ludicrous to think that someone who loves you so much is going to hurt you when all they're doing is trying to help you, and they're sacrificing to do it, because they know you are probably not going to be too happy about it, so it's a big sacrifice for them.

487. I also wanted to say that Mama and Peter have been so loving to me all the years I've been here and through this, too. They've been so understanding‚ merciful, kind and forgiving—all the things that God is. They've really been that to me through all this, and so has Misty.

488. (Gabe, who was visiting at the time:) I would like to talk a little bit more about the aspect of reporting, like Matthew brought out, because it is very, very important.

489. My very first talk from Dad was about the importance of reporting. When I first came to the staff, I was a helper. I just came to do dishes and take care of him. He gave me quite a serious talk after I'd been around for a while about our spiritual responsibilities and maintaining a high spiritual standard and the importance of reporting. It was a good lesson for me and a bit of an awakening to realize the responsibility that we all have to maintain a high spiritual standard.

490. When we are with our friends and mates, that's when we usually drop our guards and expose our innermost self. That's one of the prime opportunities for us to get help, really—when we're with those that we're close to and who see the side of us that we don't often show in public. But if we're not helping each other at those times and we're not faithful to uphold the standard "behind closed doors," then we won't get the help that we need.

491. To report on your friends or mate is a controversial topic, because people are afraid they're going to be misrepresented by some self-righteous‚ inaccurate report. That's why if you're going to report about some problem you feel someone has, you need to pray desperately, asking the Lord to help you be humble and have the right motives. Pray specifically in the power of the keys that you'll be as accurate as possible, and that you won't allow any personal grudges‚ jealousies‚ criticalness, or hurt feelings to influence what you might say.

492. But of course, you still have to realize that even if you are trying to be prayerful, accurate and loving, what you say will still just be your point of view, one side of the story. But that's all you can do. You can only share things as you see them‚ and that's enough. Then you can trust your shepherds to be prayerful and seek out the other sides to the story, and especially the Lord's point of view on it. But it's very, very important to seek the Lord in your personal life and be willing to learn to handle these touchy situations correctly and wisely and with prayer.

493. (Misty: ) As you know, I had united prayer not too long ago for some of the same things—pride, etc. If you have been through the same thing, it is easier to relate and not be so critical of the person‚ because you feel like, "Well, I've been there, done that." Also, you realize the seriousness of it spiritually and what it can do to your usefulness and life for the Lord.

494. But one thing about reporting that really puts your shepherds in a tough position is when you report about someone and you say, "But don't tell them I said that. I don't want them to know that I said those things or that I've been talking to you about them."

495. Then your shepherds are in a very difficult position. They can't bring up any of those specifics or examples, because often they're things that only you would know. I suppose reporting with the stipulation that anything you say has to be kept confidential is better than not reporting at all, but it's much more helpful if you give examples and are willing to let those examples be used, because that helps the person to see how the problem is manifested and to understand the need for change. You know how it is with pride‚ self-righteousness, criticalness—you often just don't see the problem unless there are examples of your behavior and how it has affected others.

496. It's not easy at all to be willing to have the other person find out that you reported about them. When I talked to Mama about these things happening with Matthew, she said, "It's really going to be hard for us to say these specifics without him knowing that you told us." I told her, "I don't mind that he knows I said it‚ if necessary, because even if it's difficult initially, I know the Lord will help him get over it!"

497. But because it really is difficult‚ you have to make a choice, and to do so, it helps if you look at the big picture, the long-term effects, the future. Look at what the person you're reporting about stands to lose if they don't get the help they need. It will probably embarrass them to hear what you said, and the fact that you reported on them to your shepherds might change your relationship somewhat.

498. You have to count the cost. It's not like everything will necessarily go perfectly smooth. You might lose something through it, at least temporarily, or you'll at least possibly go through a period of awkwardness and you'll need to sort things out through honest communication, prayer, forgiveness, etc.

499. But if those possible difficulties make you not want to report, then look at what you stand to lose if you don't. If the person that you love keeps going in the direction they're going, they might lose their walk with the Lord, their place of service‚ their job. You might lose your whole relationship‚ your marriage, your friendship, because that person might not make it in the Lord's service. It could be that serious. So when you put it in perspective, it becomes clear that you just have to take a risk.

500. And that's where the question of loyalty comes in. Who are you loyal to? Are you loyal to the Lord and the Family, and are you putting the person's well-being and service for the Lord first? Or do you put your friendship first, or your marriage, or whatever? What are you willing to lose to help that person, to salvage their spiritual walk with the Lord? It's really a question of love—how much do you truly love that person? Do you love them enough to take that personal risk that it might cost you something to help them?—They might get upset with you, they might not confide in you in the future, they might feel that you betrayed them. But even if that were to happen, it's still not as bad as their continuing in the wrong direction and not receiving help and possibly getting so weakened that they end up leaving the Family!

501. It isn't easy‚ but it is something that the Lord expects us to do. It's real love, even though it's a real killer.

502. If you know that people report on themselves and they are very communicative, honest, and open, and they get prophecies and include detailed prayers that they share with their shepherds, then you don't have to worry so much about reporting on them, because you have the assurance that they pass things on themselves. They are sharing what's on their heart, and they can therefore get the help they need‚ so it's not really up to you to do so. You can leave that in their court and let them express their own needs, battles, problems, etc.‚ in their own way and time.

503. But when you know the person doesn't communicate—like Matthew hadn't been for a long time—you know that unless you say something, it's not going to get said. Then it is your responsibility to report; that's what the Lord expects of you.

504. There are a lot of different factors that you have to weigh up and pray about when reporting about someone else. You have to determine, with the Lord's help and counsel, when it's your responsibility to say something, and what to say. You also have to decide how much you're willing to make it known that you reported. You have to count the cost and make a decision. It's never easy. But in the long run, it's worth it.

505. (Matthew:) I think it's really the Devil's tactic to make you feel your friends aren't going to like you anymore if you report on them. If they're true friends, they're going to love you more. If you are doing it in a self-righteous way or critical way, it's not in love, and then it's not going to bear good fruit‚ of course. But if you really love the person and you've prayed about it, and you're doing it out of real love for them, and it's a sacrifice for you to do it and it hurts you, then the Lord is going to bless it and the person is going to be very thankful.

506. In my case, I only love Misty more. I'm so thankful she told Mama what I was thinking and feeling so that I could get the help and correction I needed. It was rough, and she was really praying hard for me when Mama was talking to me, but it only made me love her more. I am so thankful! (End of meeting and Matthew's prayer request.)

507. (Mama:) God bless Matthew for sharing his lessons so openly. Dear Family, I'd like to ask that you ask the Lord to speak to you about which of Matthew's lessons apply to your own life. Please take full advantage of his love and sacrifice in sharing them with you, and benefit from them all you can by taking them to heart, and making steps to make things right in your own heart and life. Read through them again and this time ask the Lord to bring to light the areas in your heart and walk with Him which need attention. May God bless and keep us all humble and open before Him‚ so that He can continue to use us according to His perfect will.

Love and prayers in our wonderful Lover and faithful Shepherd‚


(End of file.)