Part 2

To parents whose

young people have

left the Family

By Maria 3/00

Maria #539

CM 3300

Continued
from GN 899

You're Not Alone!

168. I  know you parents having to live on your own will face major battles with loneliness, discouragement, and feel­ings of failure. It breaks my heart to think of what some of you are going through over your children leaving, especially those of you who want nothing more than to serve the Lord full-time on the mission field, but have to live on your own for a time with your children. Though you can still serve the Lord, witness and minister, it's going to be more difficult and draining. Without being able to teamwork with others, you'll likely have to spend much of your time just caring for your children and home and raising support for your family, and won't have as much time or opportunity for other ministries you'd also like to be involved in.

169. I do pray that not too many of you will find yourself in such a situation, or at least not for too long. Yet I know there will be those of you who will find yourselves somewhat on your own for a while, and for as long as you are, I want you to know that our hearts go out to you and our prayers will be with you. Most of all, your Heavenly Husband will be close by your side, and His Word will be ever-present, including His voice of prophecy, to lead you, guide you‚ comfort, encourage and love you.

170. (Jesus speaking: ) I am your refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Do not fear or cower or be shaken, even though it seems the ground beneath you has been removed and you've found yourself in the ocean's depths, in the midst of the turbulent sea. No matter how distant you are geographically from your Family or the field you love, rest assured that I haven't moved an inch further away from you.

171. I'm still within you, beside you, and all around you, and more than able and willing to give you the strength, wisdom, grace and endurance for this difficult task before you. I know it won't be easy, but I also know that for those of you who I lead into such a mission, victory is assured. Victory will have a slightly different meaning in each situation. I will bring victory out of what seems like defeat and beauty out of the ashes. As you follow Me, I will give you a plan and design for you and your child that will be for your benefit.

172. You will never be alone, for I walk with you along this seemingly desolate and deserted pathway. You will also find others on this pathway—other parents in similar situations who you can communicate with in person, or via mail or phone. I would encourage you to seek out the fellowship of those in the Family who understand‚ and especially others who struggle as you do—not for the purpose of adding to each other's burdens‚ but for the purpose of offering understanding, empathy, a helping hand, encouragement, support‚ as well as sharing tips or lessons between you that could be a blessing to others. You can strengthen and uphold one another in this way.

173. Not least of all, you can pray for one another and for one another's children. I know that sometimes you even feel weary in prayer, or feel that you're not worthy of having your prayers answered. This is not true; nevertheless, in order to give you a boost in the spirit, I would encourage you to avail yourself of the prayers of others, as well as offer your prayers for others whose children have departed or are in the process of doing so.

174. Because you're in an extra difficult situation, I will give you an extra measure of My grace. You'll have to fight for it, though, because it will come through the time you spend with Me, and through your desperation to hear from Me and to obey My voice. Yet if you will yield your all to Me, if you will humbly heed My Words and believe and follow My voice, I will guide you all along this path. Though it may be a dusty and dry one, yet will I cause flowers to spring up alongside the road, reminding you that where there is life there is hope‚ that faith should never be lost‚ and that I and My love are always, always there for you and for your young ones, even when they go astray. (End of mess­age from Jesus.)

175. (Mama:) Thank You‚ Jesus, for that re­assurance of Your unfailing love and abiding presence, and that we can count on You and Your support and care no matter what our circumstances or how difficult our situation.

Placing the Blame?

176. I realize that in many cases your YA sons and daughters, or even senior teens, have not been living with you, their parents, for a while—perhaps months, perhaps years. You might feel that it is the fault of others—those who have been shepherding your young people while they were away from you—that they are doing poorly spiritually or have made the decisions they have, since you've not had much of a hand recently in shepherding and training them. It would be a natural temptation in such a situation to be upset at the previous shepherds of your young people, feeling like they let you and your children down, that they didn't do their job right. You might resent the fact that you're the one who is left with the burden and responsibility of sorting out your child's situation. Here's something the Lord had to say recently about such situations:

177. (Jesus speaking:) I know, My loves, the temptation that it will be in cases like this to let resentment and anger take hold in your heart‚ feeling that you entrusted the care and shepherding of your young ones to others, and that they failed you—that they didn't give them all that they needed‚ and as a result, not only are your young ones leaving My service, but you are now having to take care of sorting out their problems and needs.

178. Please realize, though, that how well or how poorly a person does spiritually, the choices they make and the path they take, is for the most part dependent on their own decisions and commitment. Good training and good shepherding often help people make more balanced choices, but when it comes down to it, those who want with all their hearts to please Me and serve Me will do so with or without ideal shepherding. Likewise, those who seek ­after the world and desire other things above Me and My service will find a way to fulfill their own desires, no matter what the quality of their input or shepherding.

179. I'm sure you realize that you yourselves are also short of perfect, and that even if you had been the ones caring for and shepherd­ing your teen or YA and had not entrusted them to the care of others, in the long run they might have still made the choices they did. In most cases this choice would be primarily because that was what was in the hearts and minds of the young people. When someone's heart and mind is fully persuaded to do a certain thing, that is the way their body and deeds will follow at some point, at least for a while. (End of mess­age from Jesus.)

(Note: Please see "The Burden of Responsibility" and "But What if You Didn't Do Your Best," paragraphs 39-86 of "The Silver Lining," ML #3166, for more on this topic. Also see "The Dangers of Bitterness," ML #3167‚ which was originally part of "The Silver Lining.")

Where to Draw the Line

180. (Mama: ) You might be wondering whether there would be a situation when it would be necessary to curb communications or inter­actions somewhat with your young people who are out of the Family. As explained earlier in this Letter and in "More on the Shakeup," there are certainly times when you will have to put some guidelines or boundaries in place regarding what you will or won't put up with from your young people who go to the System—especially in the presence of other young people and children in the Family, but also even for your own sake and spiritual well-being. This is true not only in a situation where the young person is living within your Home and you have to set down house rules, but also in a case where they visit you or you visit them.

181. What if your young person who has left the Family is consistently speaking against the Word, the Family and your beliefs, Dad, Peter and me, criticizing you and your lifestyle‚ speaking doubts to you or your children, and does not respect your requests to peaceably "agree to disagree" on these matters? You know you have to continue to love them no matter what, but speaking the truth in love is part of that.

182. I'd like to share with you a message that was received for the father of a young person who left the Family‚ who was encountering a dilemma of this nature. The Lord had at the start showed him to just hear his son out, complaints and all‚ when visiting him. But when the bitterness and anti-Family comments came up repeatedly and became a drain, he asked the Lord for further counsel. The message that the Lord gave for him will be helpful for others of you to keep in mind as well—although you will have to seek the Lord personally about your situation and what amount and level of contact and communication you should have or not have with a young person who is actively vocal against the Family.

183. (Jesus speaking: ) Your son, unbe­knownst even to himself, is causing a gulf between you. His pride has blurred his vision as to what is happening in the spirit, and his carnal mind is at the steering wheel, driving a rift between you that is broadening and growing deeper over the passage of time. He is as one who is holding Me at arm's length and turning his head the other way, for he can't bear to look into My eyes, even though I wait with open arms to embrace him, weeping for this one who has chosen the strength of the flesh and the carnal mind over the strength of weakness and yielded­ness to Me. Yet I am married to this one, and I do love him as a son.

184. His conscience and the voice of My Spirit still continue to tug at his heart, and so in his pride he continues to vindicate his stand and decisions, adding fuel to his personal fire by throwing on the grievances and bitterness of others who have turned from Me. He's defensive with you, because you're not only his father, but you represent Me and the Family he has turned away from. He knows deep down inside that he has turned aside, and he feels he has to in pride continue to vehemently defend his path and his lifestyle by lashing out at Me and My children and the ways and path of weakness and faith I have ordained for My children who follow closely.

185. The Evil One has made him mad at the truth and angry with those who continue to follow Me in faith and yieldedness, and even ­angry at you, his father, who continues to love Me and cherish Me above all, choosing faith above carnal reasoning, refusing the things of this world in order to take up your cross and follow Me. I instructed you to show him your unconditional love, and you've done well in this, My son. But now, as your heart is also leading you, I am instructing you to be honest with him, and as he has openly shared his heart and all his grievances and doubts, I want you to also openly share with him the effect that this has on you and the consequent distance it creates between you. As you have shown him respect in not belittling or running down or badmouthing his choice and the path he has chosen, and have taken the steps to continue loving him unconditionally, I would have him show you the same respect.

186. If he is not willing to comply with this simple request to respect each other's de­cision and path in life without the baggage of bad­mouthing and belittling‚ then he has made the decision to distance himself from you. Make it clear that the decision is up to him; he chooses the degree of closeness.

187. Express that you still desire to have contact and keep in touch with him because he is your son and you love him unconditionally and dearly, but he must also respect you and your decision and the path you have chosen. As such, he must refrain from voicing his doubts and negative comments and insinuations, because it hurts you and builds a wall between you. If he can't grant you this simple request out of love for his father, then he has chosen his pride above even love, and you, My son, have then done all within your power and are no longer accountable to have close contact or interaction with him. As he has chosen himself above Me as master of his destiny and path, so he must make this choice and then live with the conse­quences. The choice is up to him. (End of message from Jesus.)

188. (Mama: ) The Lord will lead differently in each case, but it's important for you parents to understand that while the Lord expects you to love and reach out to your children no matter what they do, there are some things you don't have to put up with. (Please see "More on the Shakeup," ML #3262:174-220, for more on this topic.) However, even if you choose to lessen contact with your young people, or put some restrictions in place concerning them visiting your Home, for example, you should never completely let go of them. Keep in touch somehow‚ whether by personal visits, email, phone calls or letters‚ unless they make it impossible for you to do so.

The Moment

Of Decision!

189. In these next messages, the Lord gives some valuable advice to you parents on how to handle those difficult moments when your child is hanging in the balances, deciding whether to be in the Family, or when they break the news that they want to leave. Sometimes their decision to leave may be something you were expecting to happen sooner or later; other times it can come as a complete shock. In either case, as those of you who have experienced it know‚ it's going to be difficult emotionally, and a spiritual battle. There is the temptation to act rashly, get upset, and even lose your temper; or to give up in despair and hopeless­ness‚ acting like it doesn't matter what your child does, because it's too painful for you to consider it. Obviously none of the above is the right way to go about things, as these reactions only put distance between you and your teen and make future communication and reconciliation more difficult.

190. This first message from the Lord gives some tips on how to handle it when you find out that one of your young people is leaving the Family: How to take the news yourself, and how to be strengthened spiritually; how to prepare them, practically speaking, for this big change in their lives and their move away from home‚ parents, and Family; and how to help them under­stand the differences between life in the Family and in the System‚ so that they're not naïve or unaware of what this decision means and what they're going to have to do to take care of themselves and make it.

191. (Jesus speaking:) When your young person has made it known to you that they've decided to leave the Family, the first thing you should do is come and talk to Me about it. Try not to express your view or opinion to your young person before asking Me what your view or opinion should be. Otherwise you may be tempted to react in a way that would be opposite to the way that I would have you react. You might be overwhelmed with emotions and get upset or angry because you're disappointed and sad, but it's important that you seek Me before drawing conclusions.

192. Hear your young person out, and listen to what they have to say; but avoid making judgments or even stating your feelings or position until you have heard from Me. Tell your son or daughter that you're thankful they're being open with you, and that naturally it's a very major thing for you and somewhat emotional. Tell them that you'd appreciate having some time to pray before you speak your mind or heart to them or discuss the issue in full. In most cases they'll respect this. Then come to Me desperately, preferably right away, or at least within the next few hours, and ask Me to help you to see things as I see them—through the eyes of faith and trust. I will give you the right outlook, and I will encourage your heart with words of comfort and hope for the future. Then you can go back to your son or daughter and exhibit that faith and trust as you help them practically to prepare them for what lies ahead.

193. Something that could be beneficial in most cases is to give your young person a bit of space for a few days. Sometimes young people make snap decisions because of something that really "did it to them," because of one straw that was just "too much" and "broke their back," so to speak. In some cases, your young person might have made a snap decision when telling you that they've decided to leave. So you should give them some time to think their decision through, and encourage them to pray, go to the Word, and hear from Me, if they will, and see if they're still fully convinced that that's what they want to do.

194. During this time, your job is to pray‚ not worry. Cast your burdens on Me and trust that I hold the future in My hands. But pray that your child will make the right decision. Pray that they will yield to Me. Or if they choose to try out the System to see what it's like, pray that they will still stay close to Me and that they will one day come back to My perfect will for them.

195. But once your young person has decided for sure that they want to leave the Family‚ and you've given them a little bit of space and time to make sure that that's really what they want or feel they need to do, then it's important that you have some good heart-to-heart talks with them. This may sometimes be difficult if you haven't had very good communication in the past, but I can help you if you'll seek Me for counsel on how to go about it.

196. Here are some general guidelines or ideas of things that you can talk about or touch on in your conversations together:

197. Talk with them about what they want to do when they leave. Find out what their goals and aspirations are, if they have them, and help them make some definite plans. If they want to study, ask them what particular field of study they'd like to major in, and talk about that. Then talk about how they can support themselves meanwhile, and what kind of job they would take. Or if they want to get a job and don't intend to study further, find out what kind of job they would go for, and give some suggestions of how they could go about getting one. While of course the ideal profession is that of a missionary, there are other useful professions and fields of study that they could participate in. So hear them out diligently and attempt to guide them in the wisest course of action, field of study or career to pursue.

198. Talk about where they will live, who with, and discuss how you can help them get settled in with friends or relatives, or whatever the case may be.

199. Discuss the importance of doing things that are worthwhile and investing their time wisely. Explain that it's a hard, cold world out in the System, and that in order to survive you have to work hard or else you'll sink down to the dregs of society. Emphasize the positive rather than the negative. You can stress that, "You have so many talents, you're so smart, and you have a lot going for you. The Lord's blessed you with so much, so you can really do something and go somewhere. You don't have to be like everyone else."

200. Make it clear that you hope they won't waste their life away or get involved in anything that's going to hurt them or others, but be prayerful and careful in your words and attitudes. Don't insinuate that that's what you think they're going to do, or come across as doubting their motives or abilities. Show your faith in them‚ and your belief that they can do something productive and worthwhile.

201. Touch on the topic of making a difference, even in the System. Talk about how they can do good‚ charitable, kind, loving deeds, and thereby make Me happy and bring a little bit of light, love and happiness to others. Explain that you understand that they've made the decision to leave the Family and launch out on their own, but encourage them to use what they've learned in the Family to help encourage others.

202. Approach it from the angle of, "You'll make more friends and be loved and respected if you're doing things to help others. Not only that, but you'll be pleasing the Lord and He'll bless you for each little deed of love and kindness." I'll give you the words to speak. It's important that you show them that they don't have to throw out everything that they've ever learned because they're leaving the Family. They can still make a difference and give My love to others, in big or little ways.

203. Ask them if there's anything they would want or need your help with during their period of transition. Of course they'll have to understand that, being missionaries who live by faith, you can't necessarily provide a lot of financial help. But just the fact that you're trying and willing to do what you can, will help them know you care. If they have no particular requests at the time, let your young person know that you're concerned and you want to make the necessary time to be available for them; that if they ever need you, you'll do as much as is within your power to help.

204. Tell them that you're going to be happy to see and visit with them, but also explain that you do have a certain standard in your Home‚ and when coming by they'll need to abide by your house rules for the sake of your Home and children. You'll have to explain this sweetly and gently‚ but it's important to make this point right from the beginning rather than having to correct a situation once it's gotten out of hand.

205. One of the most important things is to show them lots of love. Don't show resentment or disdain for their decision. Although you can tell them that you had hoped and prayed they would have stayed, make it known that you love them no matter where they are or what they decide—and that you always will. Though your heart may be breaking inside, I will give you supernatural grace to show unconditional love to your young person, which will give them the reassurance of knowing that you will always be there for them.

206. You are an embodiment of Me to your young person, and if they are secure in the knowledge that you will always be there for them‚ they'll have the faith that I will always be there for them. (End of message from Jesus)

207. (Mama:) The Lord explains that when young people say they want to leave the Family, they may not fully realize the repercussions of that decision. Sometimes they're just frustrated and need a change, and maybe that change can be provided some other way—such as a change of Home, ministries, activities, etc.—rather than going to the System. At other times, however, they really aren't ready or willing to make the commitment to remain in the Family, and if they're already persuaded in their minds that they want to leave the Family‚ it's best to avoid pressuring them to stay. If they stay because of your persuasion and pressure‚ they're probably not going to be very wholehearted about it, and would be better off doing as they desire and discovering their path for themselves.

208. It's possible that your young person may have miscon­ceptions about the System and what it's going to be like for them there. Your sitting down and discussing matter-of-factly how things will be for them once they leave, what they'll have to do or not do, may in some cases help them realize that they don't really want to leave the Family, and they may be willing to give it another shot, realizing it's pretty great here after all.—Not that you should expect that by talking with them about things they'll decide to stay. But if they're inclined to stay and are simply going through a rough time, there's certainly more of a possibility that they'll hang on if you handle things the way the Lord instructs rather than reacting emotionally or un­prayerfully. Of course, if they don't want to stay and aren't willing to put their heart into living the lifestyle of a dedicated disciple and holding to the CM standard‚ you don't want to persuade them to remain in the Family just to make things more comfortable for you or for them.

209. If they still decide to go, the time you spend discussing what they can expect and should be prepared for will help them get by‚ and will likely foster continued close communications once they do leave. They'll know that you care and want things to work out for them.

210. (Jesus speaking:) Until your child has made a definite decision to no longer be in the Family, there's certainly time and opportunity and need for you to try to get them to reconsider and think and pray further about it. Sometimes they may say they want to leave in a moment of great difficulty or intense emotion, or because they're frustrated about something; in that case, you don't want to make it so "easy" for them to slip out and later regret it. Yet once you've talked and prayed about it with them at length, and have determined together that this is really what they want to do, then it's time to switch gears. It's time to start on the practical preparations and training that they're going to need.

211. Depending on their age and particular experiences, they may have already had a fair amount of preparation for getting by on their own‚ or they may be completely lost and clueless; or, more often, they're somewhere in between. They're intelligent, bright kids‚ and they have the gifts and wherewithal to get by and even become successful‚ but sometimes they don't realize it, or they just aren't practical enough. Others are very practical and have highly honed survival skills, but need help in brushing up academically. So you have to find out what each one needs and pray about how to help them improve so that they can handle their life away from Home and Family.

212. Some may act as though they're very knowledgeable or independent‚ but really, they're still young and in need of counsel and guidance. Many purport to know and understand the world better than they really do; they presume to be stronger, smarter, and less naïve and gullible than they are.

213. You don't want to start on any big preachments about the System, but you do want to make sure that when they go out they are wary, watchful, even somewhat suspicious. They have lived in the haven of My will, surrounded by My angels and protection and Godly ways, and have been protected from much of what others contend with daily. Even in the most difficult or unstable or least ideal Family Homes, at least there has always been an element of trust. Rare was it that they had to worry that the person they were rooming with‚ or anyone in the house‚ was going to snap and do something crazy at any given moment, or was going to cheat them, lie to them, steal from them, threaten them, get violent, or bring over a friend, boyfriend, girlfriend or parent who would be abusive or ill–tempered. Whereas outside the Family, things like this are going to happen more often. There's generally less concern for others, because people look out for themselves and expect ­others to do the same. That's the way it works, and they're going to have to learn to be a little more suspicious and skeptical of others' words, prom­ises, and intentions. They can't take every friendly person for a true friend.

214. In getting a job‚ in going to school, in finding a place to stay, they're going to have to learn a little about contracts and legal agree­ments. Teach them to read the fine print before they sign the dotted line and to count the cost. Encourage them to really evaluate whether it's a want or a need they're buying, and to ask themselves whether they can afford it. Teach them to check things out, to do their homework and research before they make any commitments or get into any "deals" that they might regret later. They can ask friends for advice if necessary‚ or even get free legal advice in some countries.

215. Do not take simple matters for granted, for your young people have grown up in a different environment with different expectations. They need to know that if they don't pay their rent or are late, they'll be evicted, and they won't be able to say they're missionaries who live by faith. They need to know that if they don't pay their bills, what they've been buying will be repossessed, they'll lose all they've invested in it, and they could even go to jail if they're accused of trying to defraud the company. They need to know that if they run up a big credit card bill‚ they're responsible for it, and they can't expect the company to forget it or forgive them. They need to know that if they have a contract with their employer‚ they're legally bound to fulfill it. If it says they need to work nine to five for six days a week‚ they must be there on time in a presentable manner or they'll be fired, and they'll have a very hard time getting another job if their former employer spreads the word that they're lazy, uncouth or undependable.

216. Some of this might seem obvious to you who grew up in that environment, and for some of your young people, such things will be obvious and they will be aware of the repercussions. But it certainly couldn't hurt to at least touch on discussing them; and with some who are more naïve, you're going to have to get into it specifically and in detail, outlining the poss­ible pitfalls and giving them advice on how to stay out of trouble.

217. It might help to tell some of your own stories and personal experiences from when you were young. You wouldn't want to get into the "preachment" side of "I was so miserable because I didn't have the Lord or the Family.…" That's the angle they've probably already heard from your stories. Now it's time for details on a practical level—specifics, anecdotes of what things you tried and didn't work, or things that did help, as the case may be. Keep your goal in mind: You're not attempting to talk them out of leaving the Family any longer; you're trying to help them make the best of things when they do.

218. Communication is essential at a time like this. Maybe you aren't very familiar with your young person's heart and mind, or even what or how much they know or don't know, have done or not done, seen or not seen. But it's not too late to find out, and it's not the time to back away and say, "Hey, he hasn't opened up to me before‚ I'm sure he won't now." They're likely more desperate and needy than they'll let on, so it's up to you to draw them out a bit. Ask them if there's anything they're particularly concerned about or would like to learn more about, and whether there's anything that they feel would help them be better prepared, less ­worried or nervous, more confident and comfortable. You might be surprised at what they have to say!

219. If you feel clueless as to what to even ask or talk about, then pray and ask Me to show you what specific questions or issues to bring up when com­muni­cating with your son or daughter. That's the surest way to know that you're hitting the mark in truly finding out what's in their heart—their goals‚ desires, questions and fears. If communication doesn't flow well, please don't give up. Keep seeking Me and finding out how you can make it happen.

220. Communicate, probe, and ask questions. Don't just shoot off your mouth and dispense volumes of advice, only to find out later that you've insulted their intelligence by preaching about things they already know, but they have all these other questions going unanswered. It's like your David used to say about witnessing; how can you give the answers unless you know the questions? How can you give the solutions unless you know the problems?

221. The answers and solutions may be pretty basic and general in many cases, but if you haven't heard out the problem or question, then the one who's asking for or needing help is not going to be very receptive to your answers. So if you want them to listen to you and benefit from your advice, then listen to them! Hear them out, draw them out, and tell them what they need and want to know. Talk about what they're interested in; touch on the issues and questions that concern them most; help them with what they feel insecure or lacking in.

222. Help increase their awareness and understanding of things they haven't had to contend with before; help them see how they can put their Family training‚ knowledge and experience to good use; help them take further steps along the path of maturity and autonomy. They'll thank you for it later, even if they balk a bit or act resentful or aloof at the time. (End of message from Jesus.)

The Sheep at the

Edge of the Forest

223. (Mama: ) Following is a beautiful word picture that the Lord gave, expressing how much your young people who choose to leave the fold still need your loving shepherding and guidance. This is a vision of a sheep at the edge of a great forest, symbolizing a departing young person. The shepherd standing nearby is symbolic of you parents and earthly shepherds, although he also has some Heavenly counsel and inspired advice for that sheep.

224. (Jesus speaking:) Many of them stand at the threshold of the big old world, wondering which way to walk, which path to embark upon, and they feel quite lost. Some feel very hopeless, some are in despair. Some are very foolish and naïve, and some are full of fear and apprehension. They see ahead of them a great, great forest, and they know that each step that they will take is an unsure step and they know not which path to embark upon.

225. But there, on the horizon, is the shepherd standing next to the sheep. Though the shepherd's heart is aching and breaking for that one to enter back into the fold, to come back in where it is safe and warm, and where he can care for it and continue to lead and guide, yet he stands there beside this sheep, honoring and respecting his majesty of choice.

226. He sits down with him at the edge of this large forest. The shepherd pulls out a map and lays it in front of My dear wayward sheep. On this map are many instructions. The shepherd has been through the forest before, and has carefully marked each path that the sheep might walk on.

227. He has marked where each pit is, where each trap is, and he has carefully marked with bright colors where the enemy lurks. These dangers are the first thing he points out. "These are the things to watch out for. These are the things that I want to guard you from falling into and falling prey to. Do not go down these paths‚ for if you do‚ you will be consumed. But here, look carefully at the map. For here are several paths for you to choose from.

228. "I am your shepherd and I know you. I know your strengths and your weaknesses. I know enough about you that I am able to help you in choosing which path to walk. Though the final choices will be yours, I will counsel you and let you know which ones I think might be best suited for you.

229. "As we sit here at the edge of this vast forest, let us discuss for a while just what might work out the best for you. Through the gifts and talents that the Lord has given you, you can learn how to minister in your own special way. There is a purpose and meaning for your life. You've been given a precious heritage of faith, and you'll be expected by the Lord to make use of all that you've been given by striving to do good toward others, whatever your lifestyle or profession.

230. "Please‚ as you embark upon this trip into the forest, remember this: You were called and chosen. I ask you to not forget this. I will give you precious gifts from within the fold—gifts that you can take with you and use as the need arises‚ if you're willing to do so.

231. "I give you a bag that contains certain items that you will need to make your way. Firstly, there's a book, which as you open it, will give you instruction, even along the path that you have chosen. This book, which you have been taught from since your youth, contains answers, solutions, wisdom‚ and sound advice. Within this bag I have also placed a notebook of special memoirs. When you're lonely and when you feel in despair, open this and remember that you are dearly loved and cared for. Also within this bag is a compass. When you wonder which way to turn, it will guide you as to what is right or wrong. It always points 'north,' upward, to the path of truth and love.

232. "Upon your head has been placed a helmet, which will keep you connected to your Heavenly Shepherd. You can never lose this helmet‚ for it symbolizes your salvation and your eternal attachment to the One Who loves you above all others, and Who will never let go of you. And we, like Him, will love you always and never let go of you.

233. "Upon your feet I place special shoes. These shoes have been especially designed for the path that you will now walk upon. They're built for this rough and rugged terrain. Armed with this preparation, you'll be able to find sure footing, and will be able to sense if you're begin­ning to turn down a path that will lead to harm.

234. "Lastly, I place a special treasure within your hand. This is a priceless jewel, an elaborate transparent crystalline gem, which you can tuck deep within your heart. When you're in desperate need, when there's nowhere to turn, when there's no one with an answer, when you have not the wherewithal to fight, take this crystal from your bosom and it will provide the ­answer that you need. It's magical, and when you use it, it will help lift you from the low place or the place of confusion where you find yourself.

235. "Take these gifts with you now as you embark upon your journey. I love you‚ and we of the fold love you very‚ very dearly, and we want the best for you, as you go out and learn through experience.

236. "One thing that we and the Lord would ask of you is that you respect us, that you respect that we love you, and that you respect the gifts and training that we have given you. Hold on to them, for they are your heritage. Despise them not, for they will help you and they will see you through.

237. "You are not on your own. Though you embark on your own‚ you are not your own and you are not on your own. You still belong to Him. He's still the One Who is fashioning you. He's the One Who will bring you through your many experiences. He's the One Who will continue to teach you‚ lead you, and train you. He's the One Who has a perfect plan for you, no matter which path you embark upon.

238. "We will help you, but please help us and help yourself by saying, 'Yes, I will keep these things. These are my birthright and my heritage. I will respect them‚ and I will use them to the best of my ability.’" (End of message from Jesus.)

239. (Jesus speaking:) The Book is My Word, their foundation of faith; the memoirs are the memories and thoughts and promises of love from their Family and friends. The compass is their conscience and the voice of My Holy Spirit in their heart. The helmet is their salvation, their eternal attachment to Me. The shoes upon their feet are the "preparation of the Gospel of peace"—including the practical preparation that you have given them to prepare to walk outside the fold, on their own. The last special treasure, the crystal, signifies spiritual communication. The gift of prophecy and of hearing My voice is still available to them, if they will open themselves up to receive it, and if they are desperate and hungry. (End of mess­age from Jesus.)

How You Can Help

240. (Mama: ) Here's another message with a few more practical tips on getting your children set up—or, as the Lord puts it, "transplanted" into a new lifestyle. Much of this is directed more toward parents who are helping their senior teens get re-situated, and the older ones—YAs and SGAs—might not need as much help or parental involvement in such details as enrolling in school or at a job‚ for example. Each young person is different and has different needs. The main point is to make yourself available and be willing to offer guidance and help as they get oriented in a new situation.

241. (Jesus speaking:) My young ones have been able to grow up in the fields where I originally planted them as tender young plants, and where they have been greatly protected from the weeds that seek to choke them out and the storms which threaten to destroy them. Some of them, however, now that they have grown, look out upon other fields and they wish to be transplanted. They wish to experience what it's like to grow in other soil, and they wish to be able to move quickly, without having to wait very long.

242. There is much that you can do to help the transplanting of these young plants to go well. Explain to them what the soil is like in those other plots of land. What does it require for them to grow in that soil? Teach them the laws of the country where they wish to reside—schooling laws, working laws, insurance laws, driving laws, banking laws, local laws‚ national laws, job requirement laws, tax laws, minor and major criminal laws and offences.

243. Maybe you don't have much experience with the System yourself, or have forgotten a few things, having dropped out of it at a young age. In such a case you can avail yourself of helpful outside resources in order to provide general information about whatever your young person needs to know—from education to jobs to housing, etc. Try the Internet, the local library, the department of educa­tion, business bureau, etc., depending on what's available where you are. Ask Me where you should look and who you should ask to find out what you need.

244. Give them a "seven–course" guide through the country that they desire to live in. Teach them, whether they seem to be listening or not. Teach them how they should act, what they should dress like, where would be the best place to look for a house, what would be the best types of restaurants to frequent, what would be the places to avoid‚ and tell them why.

245. You could also go with them and help them find the right school, or help them find the right job suited to their gifts and their talents. You could go with them to the school and find out what tests they need to take, and be with them while they take the tests. You can meet the teachers and the students. Find out all you can about what their life is going to be like so that you can talk to them about it. If they're going to get a job, you can help them. Show them how to look through the paper and how to find job opportunities. Show them how they can write a résumé and undergo a successful job interview. Go with them to the agency and help them get placed well and settled in to the job.

246. You can stay in touch with them and find out how it's going after a week on the job‚ and after a month on the job. You've got to show them that you're not only interested, but that you're expecting something out of them as well.

247. I am there with them even if you can't be. And as for the ones who don't want you to be near them, I will still be with them through their breakings, tests‚ and trials. Though their way may be a hard road‚ yet I will be with them and I will teach them and I will bring them through. No situation or circumstance that they find themselves in will be more than they can bear, for I will be there with them. But where you can help, where you can pray for them and encourage them and show an interest in their life and in their world, you, by doing so, will help lead them to the best place for them.

248. You're going to have to take some time and study the situation yourself, so that you can give good counsel to your teen. It's going to be a refresher course for you, and you're going to learn a lot while you're at it. As you review and brush up on these things, you can be a good counselor to them while they're living on their own.

249. Once they actually make the move out, do what you can to get them set up in their house or their apartment—whether they're living with others or on their own. If possible, help them find deals in the city so that they've got all the supplies‚ furniture, etc., that they need. Or‚ if you're nearby, you may even be able to share some of your provisioning with them. Encourage and help them as much as you can to start out with a good standard and to be proud of their situation. I want them to know that I am there, and that I still require them to live the things that I've taught them to the best of their ability.

250. You're going to be able to make the Word come alive in their lives if you have the faith to tell them how they can be a blessing in their new situation. You don't want to put the doorknob too high for them; nevertheless, you can put them under some conviction.

251. Keep in touch with them and check on their progress from time to time. Find out how it's going and what they're doing. Keep in touch with them via visits, or even from a distance via phone calls and letters, and expect them to keep in touch with you. Ask them to keep you updated on what's happening and any new de­velop­ments. Maybe they'll call when they pass a test, or when they land a job they wanted. Maybe they'll find a boyfriend or a girlfriend who looks pretty good in their eyes, and they want to know if they're pretty good in your eyes. These things are small steps of progress, but they are progress. Any way in which they involve you in their lives and let you help counsel and guide them is major progress, and this can only happen if you handle things lovingly, prayer­fully, and wisely from the beginning. (End of message from Jesus.)

An Unexpected Open Door?

252. (Mama:) When he read over an advance copy of this GN, one of our CROs shared the following testimony and observations:

253. (From a CRO:) There is a couple in our area who have had a couple of their kids leave the Family. The oldest daughter is married with kids, and she and her husband teamwork with her parents. The next daughter left, but overall she remained fairly stable. The next son down hit the streets and got strung out on drugs, and he had a pretty rough ride. Then there are three younger ones below him, and they're doing okay. At first, these parents said they tended to reject the strange friends that their son who had left would bring over to the house, but then at one point they re­alized that these were the same kids that they were trying to reach in their street ministry! So instead of rejecting them, they reached out to them and embraced them. Rather than approaching the situation defensively, they went on a positive offensive.

254. They are good parents, good Family standard—they're witnessing, serving the Lord, a pretty solid Home. But with a teen who went that direction, they had to deal with it as it came. At one point, because his family was witnessing to the street kids that he was hanging out with, the boy started witnessing to them too, giving them posters and discussing with his mom things that they could do to help the kids on the streets, bringing them food‚ etc.

255. It would be good if more parents could look for opportunities to be more involved in the new lives of their departing young people, whether it's a situation like this one or otherwise, meeting their friends, visiting their workplace, where they go out at night, etc. I realize that in many situations this can be a really tall order, and if it means that the parents are neglecting their missionary work to do this‚ then that's not good. But if they are using it as another witnessing opportunity, then at least some effort in this direction wouldn't be time wasted. And if it's a case where they are devoting some months, or a year or so, to get that kid established in the System, then making some kind of witnessing ministry out of it seems very worthwhile.

256. (Jesus speaking:) There's never a space too small to grow in, and I never put you in a situation where I can't use you to be a blessing, a witness, an encouragement to others. Parents who have children out of the Family should certainly look for ways that they can use this change as an open door to witness. It will be dif­ferent in every case, as hopefully in many cases young people who leave the Family will not get involved in the world of street gangs and drugs. But if they do‚ why not reach out to those kids‚ and in so doing‚ be reaching out to and supportive of your own child as well? Or if your teen is doing well‚ in a good school, with a good job, then be a parent and a friend just the same. Look around for ways in which you can be involved with your child's life and even the lives of those they interact with and hang out with.

257. If parents have to be away from their mission field for a time in order to help their child get set up, then by all means they should look around for opportunities to reach out to their child and others around them—for that may be their only mission field for a while! Or, in the case of those who have established ministries but whose children are in the area, they can expand their means and methods of reaching out.

258. I am unconventional, and will use any means I can and any willing bodies and mouths I can to reach the lost—and to reach My Own lost sheep. Don't put Me in a box or think that there are limits to the ways in which I will work in your young people's lives, the lives of those around them, or even your own lives, when they decide to leave the Family. In some cases it can even be an open door to help you find a new way to witness or a new crowd of people to witness to. (End of message from Jesus.)

Productive or Riotous Living?

259. (Mama:) The Lord has mentioned many times that we should try to help our young people who leave to find something productive and useful to do. We should encourage them to make something of their lives and do something to help others, and even be a witness.

260. There have been quite a few notable cases where young people have left the Family and used their scholastic and practical training, their talents and initiative, and been successful in what they did. Some have been honor roll students‚ have landed respectable and high-paying jobs‚ etc. However, as you are probably aware, it seems that often when young people have left the Family in the past, they have ended up going down the paths of drugs, alcohol, stripping, and have ended up in the lower strata of society, or even gotten involved in crime. I asked the Lord recently why many of them backslide to such depths, and here is His fascinating and sobering explanation.

261. (Jesus speaking: ) It's not easy for anyone to make it in the System, and it's especially difficult for these young ones who leave, because they're not supposed to be in the System in the first place. They were chosen for a high calling, given an opportunity to be in My Endtime Family‚ but because of the decisions that they made, they've taken a different road, and often the way of the transgressor is hard.

262. It's much like the story of the prodigal son. The Father didn't send his son away from the farm penniless or destitute. He sent his son away with his inheritance, something that he could have invested, something that he could have used to make a living with. But instead he took those riches, that wealth, and he wasted it in riotous living, living for the present, and soon enough he was living off the husks of the world, eating the feed of the swine‚ and living with the lowest of the low.

263. Each of My children has an inheritance‚ and when they leave the Family I don't leave them empty-handed. Their inheritance is the wealth of knowledge, training‚ truth and wisdom that they've gained in the Family. They're fully equipped to make a life for themselves and even be ahead of their peers in the System, though that is not My preferred life for them. But many of them throw their Godly training to the wind‚ just like the prodigal son wasted his inheritance.

264. Most of My children who leave the Family leave because they're interested in making a new life for themselves. They think they've had too many restrictions, too many do's and don'ts, and that life was just too hard. So when they get out into the wide, wide world, most aren't about to go disciplining themselves to either pursue further education or to find themselves a decent job. Or some begin this way, but soon find in pursuing these objectives that they're so much more restricted in the System than they ever were in the Family. Then they lose any motivation or desire to conform, and often end up in lives of vice and addiction, as a form of rebellion against both Me and the System.

265. It's a trick of the Enemy. He tricks them into believing that they can have the world and all of its pleasures. He tricks them into thinking they'll be free. He covers his deceit with a little bit of the sugar of truth, and those who are foolish enough to take his pill soon find that it's not so sweet after all. The so–called freedom of the world is complete and total bondage! You're always a slave to someone—either God or Mammon, and if you're out in the System it won't be long before you feel your taskmaster's whip and realize that you're a slave to society.

266. There are many reasons why our young people turn to the ways of the underworld, and the main one is pride. After jumping into the cesspool of the System‚ they realize that it's not all it's cracked up to be, and they'd like to find a way out. They want to rebel against the System, but they don't have the humility to admit that they were wrong, to change their ways and come back to Me; thus they have to do some­thing to make their life as bearable as they possibly can.

267. This is when the Enemy comes to them and tempts them with things that will give them physical joy or pleasure, things that will make their troubles seem smaller, things that will give them some relief and comfort from the problems they quickly find surrounding them. Some turn to drugs—drugs that keep them away from reality, that give them a false sense of happiness, that help them keep up with their high-strung life, that make them feel a fraction of ease and peace.

268. Some turn to alcohol, because when they're intoxicated and away from thinking, they feel like they're happy. Others turn to stripping for a living, because they need the money to survive, and they find quick money that way. Some even think that it will make them happy, because they like the feeling of being wanted and adored by others, even if it's only the lust of the flesh and not true love. Others turn to gangs, because they want the security, or sense of security‚ that it gives them; or simply because they fear for their life, or have nothing better to do with their energies.

269. All of these things are counterfeits of the Enemy, illusions of peace, security or happiness. Those who were in the Family have been surrounded by love and happiness their entire lives, so when they leave‚ they feel a longing and void in their heart. This longing and void can only truly be filled and relieved by My Spirit. But because the Enemy doesn't want them to find their strength in Me, he gives them these other things to cheaply fill their emptiness. At first they think that they're happy and have made a new life for themselves, but it's the horrors these things lead to that the Enemy doesn't tell them about.

270. Their lives are passing them by, with the time slipping between their fingers, and they don't even know it. Most live a dead-end existence, working at routine, dead-end jobs from 9 to 5, 5 or 6 days a week, simply to support their habits. Some call a cubbyhole their home, or live in a run–down apartment or house, frittering away what little money they have on drink or drugs weekend after weekend. On top of it, the Enemy has actually sent them strong delusion to where they believe a lie—they believe they're free. Their whole life is one big lie.

271. Because they've resisted My truth for so long, they've believed the Enemy's lies. Because in their pride they didn't want to admit that they were wrong, instead of finding happiness and joy again‚ they've found the Enemy's counterfeit. He's sent them strong delusion, and some of them delude themselves that they're happy. At least that's what they're trying hard to believe and to act like, and would like you to believe as well. Deep down inside they know where they're really at, but because of the bondage of pride, they rarely admit it.

272. My children are used to the highs of My Spirit, they're used to being free‚ they're used to being nonconformists. So when they're away from Me and away from My Spirit, they must have something to replace Me and the joy that I give. That's why many turn to alcohol and drugs. They don't want to conform to the System's way of doing things either, and that's why they're not afraid to be outcasts of society. They know they'll never really fit into the System. They justified their departure from the Family with the thought that there was "freedom" and "independence" in the System, but they found it to be an illusion—or worse, a trap of the Enemy.

273. But it's never too late for the power of My Spirit to turn someone around and bring them back to My arms. No one is ever so far gone or so far astray that My love cannot reach out and save them. I am not willing that any should perish, and I'm not willing that any should be without the comfort of My loving arms around them—but everyone has to make their own choices. I can't force My love upon them; they must come to Me and want Me. I'm begging for them to come back to Me, their ­Father‚ but they're the ones who must leave the swine pit behind.

274. I weep for these, My lost children. I weep because I see the loneliness in their hearts and I hear the longings of their spirit. I wish to fill the void in their lives, but they must make room for Me; they must invite Me. Though I wish to give them all that I know they need and desire, they must humble themselves and admit their need for Me. At such a time, I will rush to their side and restore them to joy and happiness once again. But until then I continue to weep for them, while at the same time I watch over them and care for them.

275. Your job is to pray for them. You can reach out to them in other ways and do other things to help them, but prayer is really the most important and effective thing you can do. Your prayers can do mighty things. Through your prayers, you unleash My ministering spirits to whisper guidance in their ears, to convict their hearts, to show them My love and care. Your prayers may be just what are needed to turn the lives of your children, friends, and loved ones toward Me; your prayers could be their life­savers. So pray, pray, and pray again! Never stop praying for them, even if you never see the results. Not one prayer is wasted; each prayer will have an effect on the life of the one to whom it is directed. (End of message from Jesus.)

Be Positive—

The Lord's Counsel to Parents

276. (Mama: ) We also asked the Lord how we can turn this trend around—at least somewhat—in the future. What can we do as ­parents and shepherds to help give our young people the foresight before they leave, and even the shepherding once they've left, that will keep them from falling for the temptations of the baser things of the world? How can we exert a positive influence on our young people who leave or have left, encouraging them to lead decent and useful lives—if possible even continuing to do something for the Lord, though they've chosen not to serve Him full–time? What direction should we point them in? How can we help our young people who leave to under­stand and appreciate the value of their Family training and education, and use it to make themselves successful in the world?

277. (Jesus speaking:) I know it's a difficult thing to see your children, who you have poured so much into, leave My service. You feel you've given your all and that much of your effort has been thrown away. But please know that My hand is very much at work in the lives of these young ones. I will not suffer them to be tempted above that which they are able, or fall completely into the hands of the Enemy.

278. Nevertheless, it does sadden Me to see these young people give up their glorious birth­right and trade it for husks. I still love them and will walk close to them during the course of their lives, but the walk will not be without sorrow on My part, and it will not be without lessons learnt on their part.

279. In some cases it will be necessary for these young ones to learn the hard way, in ­order for them to eventually come back to Me. Those who have a rosy picture of the world sometimes need to have their noses rubbed in the world before they're able to realize what heaven on earth they have in My Family. But though there will be many trials and battles‚ and in many cases life will not be easy for them, I am still very much the loving Father I have always been and will watch over them with abundant love and meticu­lous care.

280. The choice is up to the individual as to whether to do something with their lives, but in many cases you must help them and guide them so that they don't end up becoming bums and doing nothing significant with their lives, or worse yet, doing something significantly wrong or harmful‚ like some young people have done when they left the Family.

281. I don't look harshly upon these young ones, for they are young and in need of experience. I sometimes deem it necessary to bring them through the fire, but even then it is with much love for them. Although they must go through the fire, in most cases they can still live productive lives outside the Family. Although some will go wild and throw all caution, training and wisdom to the wind, as in the case of the prodigal son, this can usually be avoided.

282. The story of the prodigal son is a little bit of an exception, in the sense that the father waited for the son to return, without reaching out to him and keeping a line of communication and counsel open. The father knew that this young one needed to be on his own and make decisions for himself, without his counsel and oversight. He knew that a time of wallowing in the mire would eventually bring him back. In some cases it's necessary for your children to leave and be completely on their own, without much help from you. You shouldn't be the one to make this choice, but this is the way it will be if they choose to close themselves off to your counsel and care.

283. However, in most cases it is not My will that these young people suffer so much and end up down and out. Each of them has developed very useful talents and qualities that will help them get somewhere and rise above the poverty and nothingness that so many in the world suffer. Unfortunately, there have been some young people who have left the Family not re­aliz­ing this, who ended up doing nothing with their lives or suffering unnecessary hardship. And, un­fortunately, some of the parents in the Family have adopted the attitude of doing nothing to help and reach out toward their young people. While some young people may have to wallow fully in the System's mire due to their own choices and wrong decisions, for most it could be avoided with a little bit of help and counsel.

284. If they're old enough to work, then you must encourage them to find a job that will be challenging for them. You must encourage them and help build their confidence. Many times you parents are so heartbroken and worried and so caught up in trying to convince your child to stay, that you neglect to encourage him or her to make something out of their lives. While it's true that the world is nothing but husks, if they have made the decision to leave, then you, as their parents, must help build their self–­esteem and dwell on the positive as much as poss­ible.

285. They've heard over and over again how horrible the world is and how meaningless existence can be without service to Me. Chances are, continuing to drill this into their heads when they've already decided to leave will only cause them to be more rebellious and even shun your help and counsel in the future. So once they've made the decision to leave, then it is your duty as parents to encourage them as much as poss­ible and help them to try to make something of their lives outside the Family.

286. Sometimes I allow young people to go through the valley of despair, where they're poor and destitute and without friends. If this is what they need, then I will allow it to happen. However, there are many others who need to experience success and perhaps make money, have a fancy car, have lots of sex‚ have lots of friends, indulge in an excess of partying, etc. Then once they've seen that even this is worthless and dry and doesn't satisfy, they'll be convinced that My service will help them to feel the most fulfilled.

287. Or in some cases I know that these children of Mine will not return to the Family anytime soon; therefore it is wise to help and encourage them to enjoy as productive a life as possible while they're part of the world. I do not harshly judge these who leave My service for the act of leaving. As with all My children, both in and out of the Family, I consider the position of each heart and what each one does with the gifts‚ talents and knowledge they have been given. Each case is weighed individually. I know what's good for each person and I deal with them accordingly.

288. There's nothing wrong with helping them to be a success by encouraging them to study or look for a productive job, and showing an interest in what they're doing with their life. If possible‚ encourage them to continue to help others by being part of a charity or service organization of some type. Your love, encouragement, and open-mindedness will stick with many of these young people and may be the very thing that brings them back to My service.

289. My counsel to you parents is to be positive. Smile through your tears and do all you can to encourage your child who is departing. You don't necess­arily have to agree with their decision, and they can be aware of that, but your love‚ understanding‚ and desire to help will be a great encouragement to them during this time of launching out into dangerous waters.

290. Sometimes people tend to be a little close-minded when it comes to life outside the Family. Although it's true that the Family is an exciting and fulfilling place and that it is a privilege to be in My elite Endtime army, if someone does not want to live up to the requirements of this lifestyle, then it would be better for them to be elsewhere. Some people are simply not yet ready in heart or mind to live such a sacrificial life. They can still live and work for Me outside the Family‚ although they will find it more difficult. They can still live a good life and be a help to others. They may not be living up to their full potential or fulfilling My original plan for their lives, but I will use each of My children as much as they allow themselves to be used.

291. Furthermore, if you come down too hard on the young people or try to give them the impression that everyone in the System is suffering greatly on a continual basis‚ it might have the opposite effect of what you intend, and cause them to reject your counsel altogether, especially if they end up in a comfortable situation. They will be tempted to feel that you weren't completely honest with them or that you misled them, and they may doubt your guidance or advice in all matters.

292. People who appear close-minded are the first ones young people ignore. Some people appear close-minded even without realizing it. This is how you come across if you're constantly bringing up every negative aspect of the System and over-accentuating some of the horrible experiences some people have had. Even though you as a parent may not take this to an extreme, young people tend to do just that and might label you as a "paranoid cult member." If you seem too overzealous, they will stop taking you seriously. Whereas if you are straightforward and honest, but also show your willingness to be open–minded and tolerant of their choices‚ and are sparing in your exhortation, they will be more prone to heed the advice you give.

293. Of course, there is no need to praise the System, because most people—either in or out of the Family—can tell that there is something fundamentally wrong with it. It's only fair to warn young people of the many dangers and pitfalls. But try not to accentuate the negative so much, particularly when a young person has made the decision to leave. While someone is still making their decision‚ there may be a little more room for filling them in on the negative aspects of the System. Once they've decided to leave, however‚ and their choice is firm, it will do no good to try to dissuade them by preaching against the evils of the System. That's the time to try to agree on whatever you still can, and try to guide them and help them avoid trouble, without railing against the wrongs of the world.

294. When a young person is making a de­cision whether or not to be in the Family, it's more important that they decide on the basis of whether or not they want to serve Me than that they're scared to death of the evils of the world. The evils of the world should be a consideration, but they should not be the primary consideration.

295. If you show encouragement and a positive attitude, your children are much more likely to live a positive life outside the Family. I will work in their lives no matter what they're experi­encing and what may cross their paths. Don't forget for a moment that these are most certainly My children and I will care for them without fail. (End of message from Jesus.)

Making a Difference

In the World!

296. (Dad speaking:) It's heartbreaking to see one of your children leave the Family, when you believe they will be happiest serving the Lord in the Family. The Enemy comes in with condemnation for you as a parent. You feel you've failed to give them the vision and faith they needed in order to stay in the Family. You worry about their happiness, their safety, and their well–being.

297. But you just have to trust the Lord that all things work together for good in some way, and even though you don't see that good at the moment, He's faithful and cannot deny His Word. It might look like the worst thing in the world that could happen, but the Lord knows what He's doing when He allows one of your children to leave the Family. He knows that in some way it's going to bear good fruit in their lives, even if it's not the kind of fruit that you want them to bear.

298. You still want them to bear some kind of good fruit, even if it's not the fruits of serving the Lord full-time, the fruits of a missionary on the field. You can still pray for them and expect the Lord to help them to bear good fruit in terms of being a good citizen‚ a respectable, honest, decent person, leading a good life—these are good Godly goals for any person.

299. You don't need to feel that because your young person has left the Family and chosen to join the System, that they will be a complete failure as a Christian. In fact, you should encourage them as to how they can uphold a good Christian lifestyle and be a good Christian sample in their everyday lives. It takes faith and conviction to speak up for Jesus in the workplace—to pray, to witness, to love Jesus—and anyone with a love for the Lord can carry on being a testimony of a Christian. So encourage those who leave the Family to do their best to be a sample wherever they are.

300. You can help your young people leaving for the System to realize that there are many things that they can still do to be a testimony of the Lord's love. Being honest with people is a very valuable testimony, as is being on time; taking initiative to help in the community; giving to charities financially or working as a volunteer part-time; holding a regular job and ­being a diligent worker; paying bills on time; being a quiet and considerate neighbor, such as by putting the trash out in an organized way, not letting your dog mess up the neighborhood, etc.

301. You can encourage them to continue reaching out to others in need, to show love and understanding wherever they go, to always be cheerful, to see the positive side of every situation and help others to do the same‚ to love the unlovely. They can demonstrate their people-handling skills, show sympathy and empathy for others, be friendly and congenial, lend a listening ear or a helping hand to someone in need.

302. They can give out tracts. They can talk about the Lord and the Word. They can encourage people and compliment them. They can be kind‚ gentlemanly or ladylike. If they have children, they can teach them to be well-behaved and good examples, and teach them the Word.

303. Those are just a few examples, but if you stop to think about it, if you really desire to be a good Christian‚ there are a lot of things you can do to reflect a decent and Godly lifestyle that others will recognize and appreciate. There's no limit to how useful your life can be‚ whether in the System or in the Family. The Family has specific goals of preaching the Gospel and helping others, so our lives are lives of constant giving. We're constantly being used to help others, and as a result we win the respect of many people around the world who can see that we're useful citizens that benefit their city or country. But anyone can lead a useful life, no matter where they are, if they really want to. They might not be full-time missionaries, but our young people who leave can still be full–time honest people‚ considerate neighbors, and diligent workers.

304. Talk about these things with your young people who are leaving for the System. Inform them of ways they can be a useful citizen in the community and encourage them to do so. Teach them where to go, where to look, how to offer and use their services for the good of the community where they live. They don't have to settle for just a life of to-work-and-back, or to-college-and-back. They can really make a difference and motivate and lead others to do the same. They've got so much valuable Family training that they can really put to work for themselves. They've got people-handling skills, whe­ther they realize it or not, just as a result of all the witnessing and performing they've done‚ their years of learning to live communally, learning to communicate.

305. Talk about the valuable Family training they've picked up and encourage them that they've got a good start. Show them how if they put that training into practice in the System, it'll benefit them. They have all kinds of skills—not only people-handling skills, communication and conversation skills, but the skills to analyze problems and come up with solutions. They have skills to chair meetings and to relate to others with tact and courtesy; they have listening skills; they often have practical suggestions of how to implement good ideas, and they know how to work in teamwork. They know how to take care of children‚ how to organize and run big projects, prepare schedules, how to inspire people and challenge them to perform the job at hand, how to motivate people to do their best, how to comfort and encourage people. They've learned to follow instructions and follow through with a task.

306. It's amazing how much training the Family gives people, but we don't realize it or appreciate it because it's taken for granted in the Family, and everybody receives it to some extent. But once your young people get into the System, they'll begin to see how much valuable training they have under their belts. People will sit up and take note of how capable and on the ball a young person from the Family can be. They'll be impressed with how they can help to organize others, take initiative and do a job well, as well as speak up and give good suggestions. And of course‚ they still have the Lord to help them, and if they pray and ask Him for His counsel‚ they'll really be on the right track and know how to make the best of their situation.

307. They can even start their own Christian prayer group or fellowship group in their work­place and have a wonderful ministry of encouraging others to know Jesus on a personal basis. Goodness, if they did that, they'd probably make headlines in the local newspaper! So few young people have the initiative or the guts to do anything like that. They'd be considered model citizens. Some could go around to schools and volunteer to give free special classes to the kids on any number of subjects, and the kids and parents and teachers would love them for it.

308. Schools are hungry for any positive input for the kids, anything or anyone interesting that helps them to learn and to be inspired about learning. When I was a kid and we had a guest speaker, it was the highlight of the year. All the kids and teachers looked forward to it and could hardly wait for the day. Usually it was someone who would come along and talk about the fire station, or about sex education, or first aid, or do a demo about something, some experiment with electricity or something like that. Our young people have a wealth of knowledge from all they've learned in the Family that they could pass on. They have all sorts of interesting skills and talents that they could teach children or teenagers‚ from cooking and carpentry to public speaking and conversing in foreign languages, living abroad‚ relating to different cultures and religions, conducting humanitarian aid work‚ and much more.

309. Our parents can certainly encourage their young people about the wealth of input and training they've received in the Family that they can put to good use in the System. Probably one of the most useful things they'll discover is the training they've had to keep fighting‚ to not give up, but to keep going. A lot of people in the System get very discouraged with the way things are, and they get pretty depressed about their lives. Whereas if you can maintain a positive attitude and keep fighting and not let things get you down, if you can move forward in spite of obstacles, that's a real plus to success.

310. So, folks, we have a lot to be thankful for! Our parents can be thankful that their kids have received such good experience and training in the Family and know that it's going to help them, and our young people can be thankful for that training, because it's a real advantage to have that under their belts. (End of mess­age from Dad.)

Family Training in Action

311. (Mama: ) Here's an inspiring comment from one of our Family mothers about her daughter who left the Family and how her good training and the skills she's learned are serving her well.

312. (From M.:) C. is quite happy with her new job. She was hired by a new company that sells perfume essences to retailers, and she did so well that within a month she will have her own unit‚ hire her own salespeople, etc. She received rave reviews by all those over her and was given an award for the most perfume sold, the most contracts made and all that. She has also received requests from other com­panies to manage their sales ­departments.

313. It has floored her to see how in demand she is and how quickly she can go to the top without what she considered a good "education." When she applied for this job she said she entered a room where about 15 other people were taking tests, having interviews, presenting their documents of experience, etc. She didn't fill out any papers, just told the guy that she didn't graduate from school and had never had a job except for tending a bar. He brought her up to the front and talked with her and hired her on the spot. He said he would rather have someone like her selling his product than all the others in the room with all their training and experience. He said he could tell she liked people and could communicate well with them, and that was the most important quality.

Keep Holding on to Them

314. (Mama:) In closing, here are some precious words from the Lord with encourage­ment to keep holding on to your children with your love and prayers, trusting Him that He will accomplish His purpose in their lives, and that your efforts are not in vain.

315. Please be sure to also seek the Lord for His personal guidance for you about your young ones—not only counsel about how you can help them, but also insight into what He is doing in their lives, how He is working, and what His plan and purpose is. He promises that "all things work together for good" to them that love the Lord, so as you do your part to lovingly care for your young people who leave and follow the instruction the Lord has given‚ you can trust that they're in His hands and He will do the rest.

316. (Jesus speaking:) Fear not‚ for not one that has been given to Me by My Heavenly ­Father will be lost. Neither will these ones who I have given you to love, care for, shepherd and parent be lost, either to Me or to you. They are Mine forever, and they are yours forever. Though they may stray from the fold, though they may wander through barren deserts, and even though they may find themselves trapped within the deepest pits of the System, they will in time be brought to feel My love and care‚ and see My hand work in their lives once again.

317. They will be Mine for eternity. Their souls are Mine, for I have bought and paid for them. Their spirits are Mine‚ and have been washed and sancti­fied with My blood. Their hearts are Mine, and within them are planted seeds of faith and truth that will never die. If they will take even the smallest step in My direction, if they will let the voice of My Spirit within their hearts—even if they only admit to it being their conscience—guide them and direct their actions‚ and cause them to do loving‚ honest, helpful deeds, they will be rewarded and blessed accordingly.

318. Many of your youth will try out a variety of things for a time, and some of those things may be far from your liking or preference, and fall far short of My highest will. Yet rest assured that your love for them and your faithfulness to manifest that love by reaching out to communicate, to understand, and to do what is in your power to assist them will bring forth fruit.

319. Your love for them is a manifestation of My love for them, and as they feel and know that you love them, and yet see that your convictions and dedication remain steadfast and sure, they will love and respect you more, and Me as well. They may still travel their own path, but at least they will have an active link to Me and My Spirit, rather than attempting to fully disconnect the antenna and go totally on their own. If they will let Me into their lives, and if they let you into their lives—and they will if you will be patient‚ wise, and show them unconditional love—then their lives will be far better than if they had to go it alone.

320. I will work in their hearts to do what you cannot do if you will do what you can. You can show them you care in many ways, and manifest your love in word‚ in deed, and in prayer. My love works miracles; it changes hearts, it guides lives, and it makes life worth living. Whatever path they've chosen, help them see that their life is worth living, and they in turn will be motivated to make it so, and make the most of it. As they travel down the path of right and good, it's a path much closer to My highest path than the other options that would take them farther afield and downhill. The higher and closer path can easily lead back to the path of full-time service, if at any time they will open their hearts and accept their high calling once again. (End of message from Jesus.)

321. (Mama prays: ) Thank You‚ our precious Husband, for Your beautiful promises. Thank You that we can trust You that no matter what they choose, You will still love and care for our dear young people who leave the Family. They're Your beloved children, and You have a special place in Your heart for each of Your Own.

322. We pray for them, that You will work in the heart of each one and help them to learn what You know they need to, and in time to come around and do what You know is best for them and what will make them truly happy.

323. We pray for their dear parents, that You will help them and encourage them through these difficult times‚ and that You will give them a special anointing of wisdom, understanding, love, and patience. Most of all, help them to keep in close touch with You and hear from You at every step of the way‚ so that You can lead them, comfort them‚ and give them all that they need!

(See also "When Teens Leave the Family‚" ML #2942, Lifelines 21.)