Keys to Victory series!

Jewels on Affection, Courtesy, Overcoming Personality Conflicts, and Loving Without Partiality

Maria #484 CM/FM 3237 8/98

My dear loving Family,

1. A prayer Dad frequently prayed was that we would always be known for our love. In this GN I want to share with you some of the Lord's little jewels that He's given us which address different aspects of love and concern for others: affection, courtesy, overcoming personality conflicts, and loving without partiality.

2. I pray that these GNs of jewels from the Lord are a blessing to you, and that you're able to absorb and assimilate them easily, even though some of them include a variety of subjects that don't necessarily directly relate to each other.

Some Reasons Why People

Are Not Affectionate

3. These first few messages are about a quality that the Lord considers very import­ant, but that we often overlook when we get too busy and hurried—simple, loving affection! There are lots of reasons why people are not affectionate‚ or are hesitant to be affectionate. Here are a few that I thought of:

1. They're afraid of what others will think.
2. They're afraid of what the person they're showing affection to will think.
3. They don't want to get into a relationship, and they consider affection a sign of deep emotional feelings, or they're concerned the other person might.
4. They're concerned that the other person might not appreciate the affection‚ or that because they don't know the other person well, it might bother them.
5. Because they're not in the habit of touching others, it's very awkward for them.
6. They're too proud and they think showing affection isn't cool.
7. Because they're very busy, they often brush aside the little checks of the Lord to stop to give others hugs or gentle touches.
8. They're concerned that if they're impartially affectionate they might be considered insincere.
9. They don't mind giving affection but are turned off by the overly sexualized response that they get from some quarters.
10. They've hurt someone or been hurt in the past through jealousy or being misled, and don't want to repeat the experience; again, because they consider affection a sign of a sexual or emotional relationship.
11. They're worried about bad breath or that they have B.O. [body odor]
12. Because of their ministry—for example‚ ­being out witnessing or in public in a con­ser­va­tive country—they've made a conscious effort not to be affectionate, and so find it hard to remember to do when at home.
13. Because they're not an affectionate person themselves, they just don't think about it.
14. Because affection can make such a big difference in encouraging others and showing them the Lord's love, the Enemy really fights it with anything he can.

—And I'm sure there are other reasons as well.

4. I'm not by nature a very affectionate person, but I've really prayed and asked the Lord to help me change in that area, and He has! I'm much more comfortable now just laying my hand on someone's shoulder, or holding their hand while talking with them‚ giving hugs and kisses as greetings when coming or going‚ or putting my arm around someone as we sit together.

5. Of course, I don't see our folks all that much, and if I was around them more I might need to work on it more. But because I hardly ever see everyone, I really make an effort to show them that I love them when I do see them, and it's become a very good habit for me‚ thank the Lord! I think it's something the Lord would like to see us all do better in—just reaching out, as His hands, to touch others. Following are the beautiful messages He gave about it.

Take Time for Affection!

6. (Jesus speaking:) Affection is something that takes time, just like praising and noticing little things—the colors of a flower, the songs of the birds, or how delicious a meal tastes. It takes going at a slower pace in both body and mind, where you have time for the little things. The little things are really the big things, because that's what makes life so enjoyable and special and gives meaning and depth to living.

7. Affection is one of the priceless treasures of life; it provides that special touch that lets someone else know that they are special.

8. It's these little things that are remembered and written down up Here—little smiles, a touch of affection‚ a kiss, an "I love you"—because they're acts of love, and no act of love is ever lost or forgotten.

9. Affection is one way that I can manifest My love for others through you—through ­every stroke on the head, embrace, or squeeze of the hand. Or even pulling out a chair for someone to sit on, fixing them something to drink or eat, perhaps doing something for them they don't even see—like placing some flowers on their desk when they're not there. You may not actually be touching them, but you're showing your affection, which is a tenderness in your heart that is reaching out to them in some way that shows your fondness towards them.

10. Affection is when your heart expresses your love for another in some physical way that is giving to that person—whether it's saying something sweet and kind, helping them with their work, hugging and holding them, giving them soft kisses on the cheek, or putting your arm around their waist or your head on their shoulder.

11. Affection is a wonderful gift of love that you should always take the time for and not let it be choked out by the busyness of the affairs of this world, the tares of many cares. Because where affection is, there is love; and where there is love, there am I also, giving and loving through each person to another. As you give affection, so will the love in your heart grow‚ and it'll grow in the hearts of others, helping them to be loving too.

12. You can even be affectionate with your eyes, so that when someone looks into your face and into your eyes they will be touched inside by the love reaching out from your eyes and loving them for who they are. You can be so filled with love that being affectionate just comes natural by the way you talk and reach out to others—touching them, holding them‚ kissing them, and looking at them in love, because your heart is filled with My overflowing love.

13. Your gentleness will make you great. In other words, your kindness‚ your tenderness, your affection towards others will make you great. As you are filled with My love, so will it be greatly manifested in your affectionate ­actions and love towards others. (End of message from Jesus.)

Affection Releases

Spiritual Power!

14. (Jesus speaking:) I have so much love to give to My children! I have so much love to show you! I have so much love which I wait to give to you in many ways! My love is very great and it will never run out; it will never run dry. My love for My children is always fresh and new and alive. It is always there for you no matter what happens, for My love is true and divine.

15. I know My children have great need of My love; they thirst and desire and want Me. They have great need of My affection‚ My tender­ness and kindness. They need My love in all forms. They need My spiritual love to be manifest. They need the love of My Spirit. As you show one another simple‚ natural affection‚ you unleash the power of My love in a greater way.

16. Each touch of the hand, each pat on the back, each time you put your arm around an­other's shoulder, each time you give an affection­ate hug, you are releasing spiritual power. You are releasing love power. You are giving the love of My Spirit.

17. Each kiss on the cheek‚ each hand on the knee, each display of true, genuine affection makes it possible for the spirit of encouragement to flow.

18. The Enemy fights this, for the Enemy hates love, and it is his goal to destroy and tear down any form of true, genuine, spiritual, Godly love. He is the enemy of love. He promotes aggression, hate, false love, shallowness, worldliness—all that is opposite of the true spirit of love.

19. So the Enemy blocks and hinders and tries to persuade you to withhold displays of affection. He tries to make pride stand in the way. He tries to raise up walls and make jealousy stand in the way, because he knows that there is great, great power that will be released through your giving and receiving of affection.

20. As you give sweet, simple, natural affection to each other‚ you strengthen your bond of unity with each other. You create strong bonds of unity that grow and grow stronger with each continued deed of affection. The Enemy is aware of this and he is aware of the tremendous spiritual power of unity that will be created, so he fights it and tries to discourage it and stop it from happening.

21. He knows that your lives will be richer in love, and that your unity will be tighter and stronger. He knows that your Home will be more fruitful because of this, and that the spiritual channels to My love will be unblocked so that My love can flow through each heart with greater freedom and power.

22. Oh, the power of affection is very great‚ for the power of love is very great! I am Love, and through Me and My love I can give you great spiritual power of unity, love‚ and encouragement. The Enemy knows the good fruits of affection, and that those fruits are a strong weapon against his inroads into your lives.

23. As you show one another true affection, you bring down the spirit of encouragement and a spirit of acceptance, a spirit of tolerance and caring, which uplifts each of you and gives each of you faith and a desire to return love.

24. By doing this, My spirit of love is born again and again and is recreated every day in your lives. It generates in you a greater desire to love each other, to help each other‚ to encour­age and uplift each other, and it binds you tightly together in sweet unity and fellowship.

25. Everyone needs affection. Everyone needs to receive affection and to see affection being shown, because it's a great encouragement and it shows others that you care about them personally—you care about their lives and you care that they are there. It makes them feel loved, important and worthy.

26. Through feeling loved and cared about and important to others, you feel a new zest for life‚ a new desire to do your best, a new thrill in waking up in the morning, a new spirit of courage, a new inspiration to give love to others—all because you are releasing the power of My Spirit and the power of My love! These things come not of yourselves, but it's My Spirit working within your lives and within your Homes.

27. As you step out by faith to show affection, to let humility be shown, and to act in humility, you will bear the good fruits of humility and love. Your lives and your Homes will be so much richer and fuller and more thrilling—for you will feel the thrills of My spirit of love moving. You will feel the blessings of a sweet united spirit of love, and that spirit of love will give you great encouragement, joy, and satisfaction. Because of that, you in turn will have My strength to give others encouragement‚ joy, and satisfaction. The more you give, the more you personally will receive, and the more you personally will feel motivated to give again to others.

28. Lovest thou Me? Feed My sheep. You can feed My sheep not only by feeding them My written Word, but you can feed My sheep by feeding them My affection. Your display of affection to others—to your brothers and sisters, your co-workers and to those you live with‚ to the older generation or the younger generation—is My love for them. They need it; they need to feel My love in a physical form, for it's the physical touches of affection and love which are real to My children. It's the proof of My great love for them.

29. So show them that I care about them by putting your arm around their shoulder. Feed My sheep. Show them that you're concerned about them by stroking their hair. Feed My sheep. Show them that you believe in Me and are willing to obey My Words and My will.

30. Love them and feed them, that My sheep and My children may be happy and fulfilled and fruitful. The more you give your physical touch of affection and love, the more My spirit of love can flow through you and satisfy and encourage and inspire My children.

31. It doesn't have to be big deeds. It doesn't have to be time-consuming. It doesn't have to be a big spiritual workout. You don't have to feel like you can't do it, you can't make it, you don't have what it takes. Because all it takes is a couple of seconds when you walk by someone to pat them on the back, or touch them on the arm and say, "I love you."

32. The Enemy fights it because he hates it. He hates your physical contact and displays of affection, because each time you do it‚ you're strengthening your spiritual bond and unity. You're strengthening the power of My Spirit in your lives and in your Homes.

33. Each time you obey, I will bless and reward and give the fruits of My Spirit. So don't be afraid to give of My beautiful spirit of affection. I'm affectionate, I'm loving, I'm kind‚ I'm sincere, and each time you do these things you bring more of Me and My Spirit into your life and into your Homes. You create a vacuum for My Spirit to enter and bless and love the one who you are touching. And I not only bless them, but I bless you! I not only love them through your touch, but I love you, because you had the faith to step out and love them.

34. You open the channels to Heaven through which My Spirit and My blessing can flow and touch your lives. It's real! It's true! It's a reality! It's not just a fantasy‚ a dream, or a good thought, but these things of the Spirit are true. I do bless you and touch you with My Spirit. I do give you the spirit of encouragement. I bless you with the spirit of unity. I do touch you and give you satisfaction and fulfillment. I bless your life with a greater desire to love. I really and truly pour great spiritual blessings through the channel that you have opened up. (End of message from Jesus)

35. (Mama:) Wow! Thank You Jesus for those beautiful, beautiful promises! Help us to be more like You, Jesus—more loving, more giving! Help us to open up the channel for Your blessings and Your encouragement through giving to others. Thank You for the gift of affection—another precious manifestation of Your unconditional love for us! We love You‚ Jesus!

Showing Love by Being

Kind and Courteous!

36. Next is a very beautiful and convicting message from Dad about the importance of courtesy and loving, considerate manners. Lord help us all to do better in this area!

37. (Dad speaking:) Little things are very important to the Lord, because when you're obedient and faithful in the little things, this is a sign of your love for Him.

38. When you show people love in little ways‚ when you show people little courtesies and are well-mannered around people, it's really showing the Lord a lot of love, because people are His property. People belong to the Lord and He loves them dearly. So when you take good care of people, show them love, do loving things for them‚ treat them with courtesy and good manners‚ it's really honoring and respecting the Lord.

39. You're being loving and kind to the Lord. You're telling the Lord that you love His creation, His people, and you want to be loving to them not only for their sakes, which is a good enough reason, but also out of love for Him.

40. You can show others and the Lord a lot of love by just being kind and courteous every day. It's amazing how much the little courtesies and good manners affect people. It means a lot to people and they really, really appreciate it when others treat them with love and courtesy. Just ask anyone if they don't feel better when someone says, "Excuse me" if they happen to bump into them, or pass something in front of them, or walk in front of them when they're having a conversation.

41. People love and respect others even more when they're kind and courteous to them, even if nobody makes a big deal out of it, but you just do it naturally. It's love, it's being loving, and it's part of our duty as Jesus' disciples to be loving to one another. Showing courtesy and manners to one another in the little things is a wonderful way to show the world His love. You don't have to do big things to be loving, and as a matter of fact, it's often the little things that are so important.

42. It's so easy to unintentionally hurt people a little or make them feel unloved or unappreciated‚ when just a little courtesy can do the opposite and make them feel appreciated and loved. Stop and wait for someone if you're walking too fast and give them a chance to catch up, and slow down your pace.

43. If someone suddenly walks up to you while you're having a conversation with another person, try to include them in the conversation and fill them in on what you've just been talking about. That's just good manners; it's rude and hurtful to people to ignore them or exclude them from your activity or conversation.

44. I won't go into a big long list of all the daily courtesies and manners that people should strive to show each other, because that would get pretty long. There are hundreds of things you can do throughout the day, little things that make someone's life more beautiful because of your kindness. It would probably be a good idea to have a little pow-wow amongst yourselves and try to come up with all the practical ideas you can of how you can show courtesy to each other and display good manners.

45. If you follow Jesus' golden rule to "do unto others as you would have them do unto you," then you'll be kind and courteous and won't have any trouble knowing what you're supposed to do. But it takes time to build the habit of doing the loving thing, and in the meantime it's good to have a specific list that will help you get started.

46. When you pray and ask the Lord to help you be more loving, at the same time ask Him how you can be more loving, and then start working on those practical areas. That's like putting feet to your prayers. As you do your part‚ He'll put the love in your heart, and soon it will become a loving habit to do those things.

47. See, you can't have one without the other. You can't just ask the Lord for more love but then not work on it or do the practical things the Lord shows you to do. Neither can you just try to work it up in the flesh, or it won't come across right. It'll just be dead works, a super­ficial tradition without the spirit. You've got to both ask the Lord for the love you need and do your best to put it into practice!

48. It's a wonderful opportunity to preach the Gospel to each other and to lift up Jesus, just by having good manners and being thoughtful of each other. The people who are thoughtful and courteous are also probably the same people who have the least problems with disunity‚ contention, and misunder­standings, because love begets love.

49. If you're in the habit of being sweet to others just in your everyday manners, it really helps the unity of the entire Home and sets a good example to others of the love of Christ. It helps to smooth over those times when you will do something wrong. It helps people to be forgiving and kind to you in return, because you've been in the habit of being loving and kind.

50. Courtesy and manners are very import­ant because they're showing love—and love is the most important thing. It really pays to do the loving thing, to show courtesy to others, because it builds friendship, it builds loving inter­action, it strengthens unity‚ it brings harmony, it shows others appreciation and helps to lift their load, it makes life so much more beauti­ful, and it shows your love for Jesus.

51. I hope all of our folks are making a habit of being courteous with each other, be­cause it's a very important part of your sample as Christians, and the Lord will bless it. (End of mess­age from Dad.)

The Power of Positive Prophecy in

Overcoming Personality Conflicts!

52. (Mama: ) The following is some very good personal counsel that Dad gave to one of our staff members along the lines of how to more graciously handle and overcome the natural personality conflicts that can sometimes come about from our lifestyle of living together so closely. I think if you try what Dad suggests, you'll really like it, and it will do wonders for your interaction and unity as a Home!

53. (Dad speaking:) It's natural to have some personality conflicts with people, especially when you live communally and you're sharing rooms, bathrooms and work space. It's a miracle of the Lord and a tremendous testimony of His love that we can live together like this. It's something that most people in the System have never been able to do‚ and yet the Family lives together in our Heavenly Homes with love and harmony. That's quite an accom­plish­­ment‚ wouldn't you say? It's really something to praise the Lord for and give Him all the glory!

54. But it is natural to sometimes feel a little miffed at people, or bugged by the things that they do or don't do. If you ever find yourself really having a problem with someone, something that's really getting under your skin; or if you're already on the wrong side of someone so that your interactions are not flowing harmoniously and there's a type of division in the spirit, I have a suggestion that might help you.

55. One time Mama suggested that you turn all your thoughts into prayers and that you could pray for the person instead of just having negative thoughts or battles about them. Well, you could take that a step further and ask the Lord to speak to you and feed you with His thoughts about that person. Hear from the Lord about them in little prophecies for your own spiritual strengthening, edification‚ and healing of the problem. It doesn't have to be a big, long, elaborate, time-consuming affair. On a daily ­basis when you're trying to resolve personality conflicts or act positively toward others, you can just sit down, get quiet, switch on your channel to Heaven, and take a moment to receive such words.

56. Just ask the Lord to tell you how He sees them. Ask Him for as much positive input as you can get about that person. Ask Him to talk about their good qualities, the side that you don't see very often, and to give you Heaven's perspective on things. The power of positive praise is terrific, and so is the power of positive prophecy! You can say those things in your own words, but it's more powerful to hear them from Jesus.

57. Make a commitment to fight to overcome the obstacles of the Enemy and the roadblocks to unity that he's trying to place in your way‚ and the Lord will bless and honor it and answer you. He'll speak beautifully, and the Words that He speaks will touch your heart, melt and soften your heart, and give you more understanding and compassion.

58. It's like the theory of deliberately acting positive and pretty soon you'll be feeling positive—acting better than you feel, which can bring on the feeling. Well, you can ask the Lord to help you to see things better than you feel, to help you to see beyond your own personal feelings or ideas about someone and to feed you with His loving Words about them and all their good qualities.

59. The more you do this, the more you'll start developing a love for the person. Pretty soon you'll have a sweet relationship built up without even having to do it in your own strength. If you're busy hearing all the good things that Jesus says about someone, soon your attitude will start to change, and instead of having a negative attitude toward someone‚ it'll become more and more positive.

60. You'll start blessing them in your thoughts instead of dreading them. You'll start feeling love toward them, because that's what Jesus feels for them, and it'll rub off on you. You'll find yourself much more able to communicate and to manifest a spirit of harmony and love‚ because the Lord will be pumping His positive thoughts into you, and you'll be receiving it and drinking it in. Praise the Lord! Why don't you try it! (End of message from Dad.)

What Does It Mean to

Love Without Partiality?

61. (Mama: ) The following is a very interesting message the Lord gave when we asked Him the question: What does "loving without partiality" mean in practical terms?

62. (Jesus speaking:) Loving without partiality is as varied as each snowflake in uniqueness; it's as different as there are personalities and people. Each person needs love in different ways, manifested in different ways, at different times, according to their personality, needs, and even wants. For this reason it's impossible to judge by outward appearance whether someone is loving without partiality, because needs are a thing of the heart and spirit, as well as the flesh.

63. You can't treat everyone the same outwardly and think you're loving without partiality; for instance, thinking that having one date with every single person makes love equal for all, or thinking that spending equal time with everyone in the Home is what you must do to be impartial. By outward appearance it looks like you're loving without partiality, but according to the way I see things, and according to the needs of each individual, it's unbalanced, because each person is different.

64. Loving without partiality is loving with My love. It is natural to have more feelings of love for one person than for another—and that in itself is not being partial, as long as you don't let those feelings hold you back from giving as I ask you to give. I might ask you to show love to someone who you do not naturally feel love for‚ and if you pray and ask Me for My love for that person and then go ahead, you are loving without partiality, and this is very pleasing to Me!

65. Being impartial means that when you are receiving My instructions on how to love someone, you don't let your own thoughts ­enter in on what you like or don't like to do, or what you like or don't like about the person to whom I want to show love, so that it taints My instructions. Giving without partiality is loving as I lead you, overriding your own feelings, if necessary. Although this sounds difficult, in practice it becomes simpler, for where I lead, I guide.

66. The key to loving without partiality is learning to look to Me and ask Me what each person needs, and let Me lead you in your ­actions towards them. It's not always easy to give what I ask of you‚ because you do often have natural feelings. But when you can desperately pray and ask Me for My love and then step out to show My love as I have led you‚ that is ­loving without partiality.

67. Impartiality is not gauged by whether something feels easy or hard, but by whether you obey or not—no matter what you feel like or what your opinions are. You're being partial when your own feelings enter in and cause you to give more or less than what I know is good for someone. You may not feel like loving someone I ask you to love‚ and you may not even be attracted to that person, but if you ask Me to help you love them even though you don't feel like it‚ then this is loving without partiality!

68. My love is whole and complete, and when you make yourself a channel of My love, a receiver of that love to pass it on, this is much the same as being a channel to receive My Words. You're just making yourself an open vessel‚ a channel that's putting your own thoughts and opinions aside to receive and give everything I would want to give, just as if you were receiving My Words. (End of message from Jesus.)

69. (Mama:) Thank You Jesus! Help us, Lord, to be willing to be channels of Your love. You've said over and over how much love You have to pour out, but You need those You can pour it through! Help us to be willing to put aside our own thoughts and ideas and preferences, and become Your loving channels, in Jesus' name!

70. I love you, dear Family, and am proud of you for being willing to be what the Lord wants you to be! God bless and keep us all—loving!

Yours, Mama