David Berg
DO 2710 7/91
—A Warning to the Wayward to Obey Family Rules!
(After hearing a report that Faithy had been sunbathing:)
1. I want you to pass this rebuke on to Faithy, that I sharply rebuke her for deliberately disobeying the rules of the Family about sunbathing! Worst of all, it's a very bad example to the others—especially the Teens—that she's out there sunbathing in deliberate, direct defiance of Family rules that I have laid down about sunbathing! By sunbathing I don't just mean lying out on the "meat racks" for hours. I mean any exposure to the sun without proper clothing, which causes you to get sunburned or only tan.
2. It's very dangerous! Timothy Concerned just died of melanoma, cancer of the skin, due to too much sun! He & Rachel were great sun-worshippers too. (Maria: Some people think being tanned is sophisticated & "cool.") Well, it's very bad for your skin; it dries it out & causes wrinkles. And the harmful ultraviolet rays can cause melanoma, which Timothy, Techi's flesh father, has just died of! When people get a bad cancer of the skin, it often goes inward & passes around through the rest of the body until it kills them. Tim's went to his brain & killed him!
3. Listen to what it says in this article on melanoma that we published nearly a year ago. It's on the cover of WND 334. (Dad reads article:) "Melanoma: The Darker Side of Suntans!—Fatality Toll Spirals Up! As unregenerate sunbathers head for the World's beaches‚ scientists are struggling to undo the damage of tanning. They are racing to devise new therapies against malignant melanoma, the deadly skin cancer that is rising faster than any other. But Dr. Fred T. Valentine, an immunologist at New York University Medical Center, warned: `The best thing to do about melanoma is not to get it. That's the lesson folks still have to learn.'
4. "`There is no such thing as a safe suntan,’ said Dr. Darrell S. Rigel, a dermatologist & melanoma specialist at New York University Medical Center.
5. "Melanoma is a cancer of the melanocytes, the cells that produce skin pigment. It is less common than basal cell carcinoma, a relatively benign type of skin tumour that usually appears on the face or hands and rarely spreads beyond the skin.
6. "Researchers say that while a bad sunburn in childhood presents an unusually high risk of melanoma later in life, no tanning is harmless. Other risk factors include a family history of the disease, a fair complexion and blond or red hair, & a noticeably freckled back & shoulders‚ indicating excessive sun exposure.
7. "The highest rate of melanoma in the World is in Queensland, Australia, where many fair-skinned people of Irish and English extraction live beneath the sub–equatorial sun. But blacks and Asians also develop melanoma, although at a much lower rate than do whites.
8. "At several recent cancer meetings‚ epidemiologists and dermatologists presented stark new figures on melanoma. They reported that the incidence of the skin malignancy has doubled since 1980‚ & that it continues to soar by 4 percent to 5 percent a year worldwide. In that same period, they said, malignant melanoma climbed from being the third most common cancer among women between the ages of 25 and 29, to its current status as number one for the group, and the ninth most common cancer overall in the United States.
9. "Last year‚ 27,300 people were diagnosed with melanoma, and 6,000 died of the disease. `It's a near epidemic,’ said Dr. Rigel. `To have something double in 10 years is really amazing. No other cancer has this rate of increase.'
10. "Many researchers are working to design new therapies against the disease. When caught early enough, melanoma tumours, which resemble moles, can be surgically removed and the cancer completely cured. But once the malignancy has spread from the skin to other parts of the body, melanoma is among the most aggressive and lethal of cancers, resisting traditional methods of chemotherapy and radiation.
11. "Some scientists blame part of the melanoma epidemic on the use of industrial & commercial chemicals that are thought to be depleting the ozone layer, the stratum of the upper atmosphere that blocks out many dangerous ultraviolet rays. But the theory is hotly contested, and most researchers believe that a more important cause is the recent obsession with tanning." (End of article)
12. (Maria: In addition to the health considerations, sunbathing is such a vain & worldly thing to do because it implies that you don't have anything else to do but lie out there in the sun!—And if you should be trying to do some work while sunbathing, which is doubtful, the sun makes you so drowsy it's hard to concentrate & you feel like sleeping instead.) It makes you sick & it makes you a dandy bad example! It can hurt your health & even kill you!
13. I wonder what Michael Landon was eating or drinking that killed him? He began too late to try to eat the right things. He was such a stubborn‚ bull-headed guy! He no doubt had been warned but he just refused to listen. Well, you can see where it got him!
14. I want you to tell Faithy that I'm absolutely shocked that she continues doing such a thing after I've forbidden her & the whole Family to sunbathe! Whatever they reap for doing it, they deserve.—Melanoma, cancer, even death! The Lord rebuke her, in Jesus' name, & may her overseers please rebuke her without hesitation! They should have really socked it to her & really scolded her for it & forbade her to do it!
Timothy—Lost His Crown!
15. Poor Timothy! Lord‚ I really loved him, but I was really disappointed in him. He had one of the highest callings in the World, one of the greatest opportunities, to be one of the leaders of the Revolution, & he fluked out because he loved this present World!—2Tim.4:10. Lord bless & help & be merciful to Timothy, Lord. He made the wrong decision, but he was under a lot of strain & a lot of pressure. To have lost his crown would almost be punishment enough‚ to know what he missed & how he disappointed You & me, Lord.
16. You'd think Deborah would get something like that considering all of the horrible things she did! At least Timothy never worked against us that I know of. (Maria: Well‚ for a woman to be left with her children & have the husband be the one who goes is probably a lot harder than if she herself were the one that was taken.) Well, yes, but I was talking about my Deborah, not Timothy's wife Deborah (Cornia). (Maria: Well, it's sort of the same thing. Probably what she has to endure in this life, the things that go on & the different suffering‚ is worse than just getting it over with quickly, getting cancer & dying. It's probably more difficult to endure life!)
17. Well, praise the Lord. Vindication comes slowly but surely. The Lord's going to put the pressure on all of our enemies. They're either going to repent or suffer the consequences. No telling what Michael Landon might have said against us. That type of hard‚ bitter, stubborn, wilful, Pharisaical, self-righteous person would have certainly condemned us. Well, he & Timothy both know better now.—And Faithy is going to know better pretty soon too if she doesn't stop disobeying & being a very bad testimony! Those poor Teens are looking for a sample of the Family Standard in their Shepherds, & we've heard reports that she has stumbled quite a few, through not only her sunbathing, but also her other disobediences.
Cancellation of Privileges!
18. Does she think she can get away with disobedience? I'm going to punish her! I'm going to cancel her little monthly allowance. I still love her, but I want to show her that I don't like her lack of love for me, & lack of respect! Defiance & disobedience shows lack of respect & lack of love! It's terrible! To be all dark & tan like that is a bad example to the others, especially the Teens who she's supposed to be an example to.
19. And Ho, you'd better let that be a warning to you, too! You'd better not try to get away with defiance of your father & just total contempt for Family rules & causing division between Family Members. You had better behave or I'll cut your stipend off too!
20. That's all I can do, the leaders there are going to have to do something more to Faithy. What are they going to do? I'd say they need to cancel her privileges. Cancel her authority & her position as a leader & teacher of the Teens for at least a week or two. Withdraw her privileges of teaching the Teens.—And let them know why & who did it! What do they call it in school?—Suspend her for violating the rules! She's got to know that there's got to be retribution, there's going to be punishment for her disobedience! She's to be completely cut off from her little allowance I was giving her & taken off her job as a teacher of Teens until she learns her lesson & is extremely repentant & confesses & shows a change of heart.
21. I'm just furious that she has done such a thing! It shows her contempt for me, her father, & for the Family, the rules, the Teens, her leadership, everything! She's got to suffer for it, I mean it! Do you hear me? (Maria: Yes‚ Sir!) Tell them to deliver some kind of punishment to her, & the first thing I'd say they should do is take away her job until she confesses & repents openly to all those who know about her disobedience & have seen how dark & sun–tanned she is in obvious violation to my rules on sunbathing! She needs to confess especially to the Lord & to me & her superiors, & the Teens to whom she's supposed to be an example. She cannot teach them any more until she does that!
22. I'm just furious that she would blatantly, openly defy Family rules & my orders! I've scolded her for getting too much sun before & I forbade her to do any more sunbathing! I rebuked both her & Abi for it & told them to stop it! (Maria: And it's on the record, in a published Letter!—ML #1827, "You Must Obey the Least of These Commandments.") Those kids must be totally confused by her sample! She preaches obedience & then practices disobedience! She preaches about following me closely & she practices doing her own thing! What kind of sample is that? How can they believe what she preaches & teaches when they're staring at her brown suntan face, knowing that she's defied my words?
23. I'm sorry, Faithy, but you deserve it, you really deserve it! You deserve worse! We're being very lenient & merciful not to do more. We could absolutely exile you & cut you off, excommunicate you for deliberately, defiantly, publicly breaking Family rules! And the next time you do it we are going to excommunicate you, period! So don't ever do such a thing again. The next time you wilfully, deliberately, publicly, rebelliously, defiantly disobey Family rules & my laws & my orders to you personally, you're fired!—Excommunicated! Those Family rules are to be obeyed by all—regardless of who you are. You can go back & join Deborah & all the rest of the backsliders & be a horrible dandy bad example!
24. I will not put up with it! I will not tolerate her deliberate disobedience! We're going to cut off her allowance & immediately suspend her from her job until she fervently & publicly confesses & repents of her defiant disobedience. And next time she does it, she's out! It's a wilful, defiant disobedience of her father & Family rules! I want you to let the Family there know how serious I consider this.
25. (Maria: It shows that trying to get a tan is almost an addiction! They get out in the hot weather on a beach & they just almost can't resist the sun! It's vanity, of course, because people who sunbathe are concerned about how they look & if they are dark enough.) Well, I thought she looked terrible when she & Abi came to visit us that time. (Maria: In the System‚ being tanned is considered a "cool" way to look!) Well, I thought she looked awful!
26. To me, a dark suntan like that is ugly!—Of course, not if it's natural, not for people who are naturally dark-skinned. But to go out there & lie in the sun for hours just to get tanned & blackened & burnt is a crime in the Family! It is a crime according to Family law!
27. I've heard other things about Faithy—her drinking & everything else—but she's also gotten some real good victories, thank the Lord. But she hasn't gotten the victory over that God-damned addiction to the sun! That's almost worse!
28. So that's it! Suspend her from her teaching job & completely cut off that allowance we were giving her until she really repents with strong crying & tears & asks the Family to forgive her for disobeying the rules. If she does that, she can have her job back, but not her allowance. She's going to have to pay some penalty that will remind her constantly of what she did. She'll just have to get her personal needs from the Home just like everyone else. (Maria: She doesn't need the allowance anyway. All her needs should be taken care of just like everybody else!) Well, it was just sort of an honorarium‚ but she doesn't deserve that honour any more, no more!
29. (Maria: Faithy has been doing much better in many ways. She's made a lot of progress & she's been a good girl most of the time.) She'd better do better yet! She just can't be better, she's going to have to be good!
A Warning to Ho!
30. And I want to warn you, Ho, that if I hear of any gross disobediences of Family rules & laws & wanderings from the way, I'll cut off your allowance too! And if it's very serious, a very poor example & a real forsaking of me & the Family & the Lord, I'll cut you off completely. So be warned!
31. We won't tolerate any more speaking against Family leadership & causing division. That's one of the deadly sins that the Lord hates!—Pro.6:16-19. You'd better not do it again or you're going to get it from me too! Stop speaking against Family leaders‚ Ho, & complaining against your treatment or whatever! We've been extremely good to you & merciful to you, to let you have your farm back & your own job again—and your WS gift! But if I hear of any more complaints about you that are serious enough, I'm going to rebuke you for them & warn you that if you don't stop it, you're going to be fired & excommunicated!
Prayer for Children in Barcelona!
32. God damn Thy enemies, Lord, in Jesus' name! Punish them & judge them according to their works.—And judge those wicked officials in Barcelona that have held our children captive for so long & tried to pervert them. Deliver Thy children, Lord! If You love them & they love You, deliver them‚ in Jesus' name! You've punished their parents long enough for their sins & failures. I think it's time. It seems like it to us‚ at least, that it's time to deliver them, as You've delivered our other children, Lord! Rebuke our enemies, Lord, in Jesus' name! Deliver us from them! Rebuke them & give them what they deserve!
More on Faithy
33. And rebuke our own children who disobey, Lord, & give them what they deserve! (Maria: I think she'll be very repentant, God bless her.) I just don't understand how she could have ever done anything like that, to be so absolutely, deliberately disobedient to Family rules & my own personal orders! I just don't see how she could have done it when I personally forbade her to sunbathe any more!
34. I don't care if she's only been sunbathing for just five minutes uncovered‚ it's against the rules & it's too long! And all of this holds effective no matter what!—Even if she was out there five minutes, it's against the rules. I wouldn't even put it past her to try to get some suntanning in while doing things outdoors that need to be done, like lifeguarding at that pool. I'll bet when she's lifeguarding she doesn't wear proper clothing & a hat. How could she do such a thing & think she could get away with it?
35. I want her to write me personally a very repentant confession & plea for mercy before I'll forgive her! I love you, Honey, but if I catch you out sunbathing I'm going to sock it to you!—Or any member of our personal staff & Family. I mean it! I'm very much against suntans & sunbathing. It's very dangerous & harmful, & worst of all, it's against the rules of the Family & my rules & God's rules! TYJ! PYL!
36. Knowing how I hate that & that I have personally warned you not to, I'm absolutely furious that you would have gone ahead & deliberately done it! Getting too much sun is an absolute forbidden no-no in the Family! It's dangerous, it's against our rules & it's in defiance of me & God both! Anyone who defiantly, deliberately, rebelliously disobeys any Family rules is going to get a serious reprimand! You've been reprimanded many times, but you still insist & persist on disobeying!—And that's defiance & rebellion & we can't put up with that! And if anyone persists in disobedience of Family rules, they're to be suspended from their job, fired, & excommunicated! Now is that severe enough?
37. I don't want God's body, God's property, lying out there being destroyed by the ultraviolet rays of the sun & their own disobedience! The Lord promises "the sun shall not smite us by day" (Psa.121:6), but that's only if we do our part. Timothy, who deserted us & his own daughter & the Family & went back to the World, undoubtedly sunbathed too much & got melanoma, & is now dead because of disobedience, his forsaking the Lord's Work & his king & his queen & even his own daughter! Pitiful‚ pitiful! Oh, the fate of these backsliders is so pitiful! "The way of the transgressor is hard!"—Pro.13:15.
38. May this be a warning to the errant & those who are tempted to backslide! Here are two cases: One who went ahead & backslid & the Lord killed him, & one who is in the process of backsliding if she doesn't repent! Amen? She's already backslidden against me to a degree by breaking Family rules. She already left me & my rules & my orders & defiantly disobeyed me in front of others.
"Who Are My Mother & Brethren?"
39. I think this whole talk would be good for the Family, to show that I spare not my own children if they're disobedient. As Jesus said‚ "Who is My mother? Who are My brethren?—They that do the Will of My Father."—Mat. 12:46-50. Who are those that really love me?—Those who obey me & believe in me & do God's Will.—These love, honour & obey me, thank You Lord! Lord bless these who most of all do Thy Will & honour Thy little father, respect & obey him, in Jesus' name, amen.
40. Just think, they told Jesus, "Your mother & Your brethren want to see You!" And He said, "Who is My mother? Who are My brethren?—These who do the Will of My Father." In other words, He gave His mother & brethren no special place or no special preference. Just those who really loved Him & followed Him & had faith in Him, they were His brethren. TYJ!—In Jesus' name, amen.
41. This should encourage all those who love & obey me, that "flesh & blood cannot inherit the Kingdom of God, but only they that do the Will of My Father which is in Heaven."—1Cor. 6:9‚ 15:50; Mat.12:46–50. That is so true. Not those that are born of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of Man, but he that is born of the Spirit of God, these are they who inherit the Kingdom of God! TYJ!
42. (GBY Sweetheart, I'm sorry I had to scold you, but you deserve it.—But remember, I love you, "Whom the Lord loveth He chasteneth!" You've stuck with me through thick & thin! You've always pulled through, & I trust the Lord will help you to again. You can be just as much a daughter of the Spirit as anyone else, if you obey. ILYAPFY!—Love, Dad)
(Please understand‚ dear Family, that we're not saying that you can never enjoy a moderate amount of sunshine when swimming or gardening or taking a summer stroll‚ etc. The thing that Dad was so upset with Faithy about in this Letter is her purposely trying to get a tan, in direct defiance of Family policy & correction given personally to her years ago. So of course, you should try to avoid the harmful rays of the sun when possible, & certainly don't sunbathe or purposely expose yourself or your children to hot summer sunlight for extended periods of time. But please don't go to the opposite extreme either & forbid all swimming or outdoor activities just because the sun is shining! "Let your moderation be known unto all men!"—Phil.4:5.) (—Amen.—D.)
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Quiz Questions
Related Pubs
For further reading & study on subjects mentioned in this Letter, see "You Must Obey the Least of These Commandments!"‚ ML#1827; "We're an Army!", ML#2522 (GN 382); "Watch Out for the Sun!", ML#920, & the following WND articles on tanning & sunbathing: WND 55, pg.1: "Fry Now, Pay Later!"; WND 176, pg.1: "Cancer Catalyst: Sunburn in Childhood!"; WND 237, pg.6: "The Sun: Source of Skin Damage"; WND 282, pg.1: "No Such Thing as a Healthy Tan!" (—AMEN!—D.)
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LETTER FROM TECHI TO FAITHY
Dear Auntie Faithy,
This is Techi & I really love you & wanted to thank you so much for that sweet letter you wrote me several months ago. That was really sweet of you to take the time to do it, it was really a blessing to me, especially the part where you said that when you get up & do something positive when you're feeling low, it really helps you. I found that with myself too, if I just do something positive instead‚ it really helps me to keep my mind on Jesus. It was really interesting to see how many things we have in common, besides being sisters & everything. Grandpa still calls me "Faithy" a lot actually, & that's really sweet because he still remembers you as his little girl.
Well‚ I'm really praying for you. It's really neat how we can sort of help each other with the different lessons that we've learned. You wrote me that letter when I was having trials, so I just wanted to encourage you back that the Lord has really helped me too in lots of areas, like not being critical as much as I used to be & not arguing so much. I argued with one of my teachers the other day & she said to me, "Before your arguing used to be a real common occurrence, but now I was really surprised that you argued." So that was encouraging to see that I don't argue so much any more. Sometimes you don't even realise how well you're doing & how much the Lord is helping you.
Do you remember that story about the two brothers? I don't remember which World War it was, but the one brother got wounded & the other brother came & rescued him, & he said, "I expected you to come & I knew you would come." You're my sister & I'm really expecting you to make it through your problems & through the different things that you've been having trials about. So I'm really expecting you to make it! You're a real fighter & I believe in you & I believe that you're going to make it. I'd really hate for you to leave because a lot of people "expect it of you," expect you to make it, & the JETTs & Teens you've been helping, you're such a blessing to them. You can't let them down.
Well, I really love you & I got this verse for you, "Hold that fast that thou hast, let no man take thy crown!"—Rev.3:11. Also Grandpa says, "Discouragement is one of the Devil's favourite devices." After you do something wrong sometimes‚ you want to accept the correction‚ but it's like you're so discouraged & you think you're so bad, you feel you can't get up & start again. But it would really make Grandpa happy & me happy & Mama happy & all of us happy if you really would try.—And I know you want to. Your testimonies have really helped me a lot; it's just like reading about myself because there's so much that you were going through & lessons that you learned that I've had to learn, & I'm still learning. But the Lord's helped me not to be so discouraged & not to quit & give up.
This was really bad, but one time when I was really going through it I was thinking, "Oh, maybe I should just go live with Mommy's parents, they'll understand, they'll be happy to have me." I thought that would be a good thing to do. But then I realised how ridiculous it was & how much it was of the Devil, because of course the Lord wants me to stay here & of course this is where I'll be happiest, not in the System.
Uncle Peter gave me a talk awhile back & it was pretty hard for me to take. Before the talk, I was just miserable, & afterwards it didn't feel so good, but in the long run the Lord helped me to yield & it was much better. So TTL, we all need spankings once in awhile, but the real encouraging thing is that the Lord loves us so much & Grandpa loves us, & he really loves you. It hurts him to correct us, but he knows he has to, so God bless him for that. It's going to be a real battle, I know, but it'll make Grandpa proud & make the Lord proud if you keep fighting. I know you can do it. I guess both you & I have to be willing to have our mistakes used as examples for others so we can help others, like what happened to me with the Techi Letters.
I really love you, & again, thank you for your letter. That was so sweet of you & I really love you for fighting & for doing so well. One thing is, probably the Lord does things like that to keep us humble, like that quote, "The Lord does some things to make you humble, other things to keep you humble & other things to make sure you're still humble." It's not like you just so totally failed & this is the end, it's just something the Lord is using maybe to humble you or make you realise that you have to keep fighting. I learned that‚ not to be complacent. That's just my own personal experience, but all that to say I'm really praying for you & I know you're going to make it. I really love you! So keep going for God! GBY! Bye-bye. ILY!
Love‚ Techi
(Amen! [To Faithy:] GBY‚ Sweetheart!—We're sorry to have had to reprimand you, but you must be a shining example to others to be a leader in the Family‚ & direct defiant disobedience is not.—So please take it on the chin & face up to it according to Heb.12.
(—Amen?—It hurt me to have to spank you, but you needed it, as you must be subject to all Family rules to be a good Family leader. Amen? So please be in subjection like everyone else & not a dandy bad example.
(GBAKYACTMYAB!—Tx! ILY!—We're praying for you to make it!—ILY!—D.)
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FAITHY'S LETTER OF APOLOGY TO DAD!
Dear Dad, 8/91
GBY! ILY & I'm so thankful for you & how the Lord has used you once again to save my life & service for Him through this very needed rebuke, "Rulebreakers Beware!" Though I've been faithless, you've abided faithful, & those that we love, we chasten. You do it as unto the Lord & by the Spirit of God because you care for my life & service for the Lord, & also for His Work & His Family, which I know I've hurt & offended through my disobedience & my rebelliousness & defiance of the rules throughout the years—always finding a way to make myself an exception to the rules that I didn't like or agree with or want to abide by, & didn't want to be in subjection to.
When I first received your Letter, sad to say, as soon as I began reading it I was in a very rebellious & defiant spirit. In fact, when the Letter was first delivered to me & I was asked to read it‚ & I knew the subject matter was sunbathing‚ I didn't even want to read it. Instead, because I didn't receive the love of the Truth, I got strong delusion that I should believe a lie, which was that you didn't love me, & the Lord didn't love me. Because I was being delivered this ultimatum of the Truth about my sun-worshipping, my first reaction was to resist this Letter.
After reading only half way through it‚ I was ready to pack my bags & leave, which just confirms what you said, that my spirit was in that state. I was so defiant, just as that Letter says‚ that it all really came out by my announcing that I just could not take it, I could not receive it, & therefore I was going to have to leave. Just as you had said, because of the state I was in‚ I did belong with the backsliders‚ with Deborah & those who didn't yield to the Truth. That just killed my pride to hear that, because I pictured myself as one so faithful & so loyal.
Right now I know that it's only by the grace of God that I'm not numbered with the backsliders & with Deborah & the rest of them. It's only by the desperate prayers of you & the Family & the grace of God & your love & your mercy that I'm here to testify of what the Lord has done in my heart & life & how He has helped me to receive the love of this Truth. Contrary to all that the Devil told me‚ it is because of your love & because of the Lord's Love that I am being chastened at all.
I was like that verse when Israel said, "Wherein have we sinned? Wherein have we done all these things? They were not ashamed‚ they could not even blush." (Mal.3:7,8,13; Jer.6:15) I was not ashamed when I first read your Letter, but I'm happy to say that now I am ashamed, & I'm thankful that I can be ashamed of my sins & my rebellion & ashamed at failing the Lord & failing to keep His Word & failing to follow closely & failing to love you & respect you as I should have.
I am truly sorry & I feel that this apology really can't do the subject justice. I was reading about King David & Nathan. (See 2Sam.12.) When Nathan came into the judgment hall & questioned David, David couldn't see the truth. He just couldn't see it. Finally he had to be told off by God's man. I felt that that was exactly what the Lord was doing in having you tell me off. I thought that I had covered my sins so well through my good works, & like David, I even thought that I was doing pretty good, even helping others, like he was in helping to judge his people.
But he blew it in that he thought he was above the law & could break the rules by thinking he was in such a privileged position that they didn't apply to him, & he really became a very bad example to his people. But someone had to expose him because he was so blind to it. Just like me, I was completely blind & I had to be really pointed out & fingered by the Lord & exposed for my hypocrisy & covering up‚ & especially covering up in my sunbathing.
I was covering for myself, justifying myself by saying I didn't lay out in the sun for hours & hours. But then the Lord really caught me in my justification by going further & pointing out that I was lurking out in the sun & life-guarding & just soaking up the sun any way I could & justifying myself by doing it, by looking like I was doing good works, which is exactly what I'd done.
I want to confess & admit that I have been an unrepentant sunbather & sun-worshipper. As you said, my own brown face testifies against me & shows me to be the liar, not God & His Word. "Let every man be found a liar‚ but God be found true" (Rom.3:4), & I certainly was found a liar. I never was fully converted about this rule, although there were times when I was more in the fear of the Lord than others, especially after the first blast from the Lord I got about it in "You Must Obey the Least of These Commandments!" (ML#1827) But then I used all kinds of things to excuse myself as to why I could go back into it.
I didn't realise how seriously the Lord took it. I didn't realise that it was a real symptom of the horror of hypocrisy that was in my life, which was not really being in subjection to the Family rules, but rather having my own little independent adaptation of my life to the Family & its rules. Therefore I became a very bad sample of that sort of conditional obedience, obeying what I chose to obey & disobeying what I chose to disobey, thinking I was above the law. It hindered my acceptance of this Truth & this Letter. I was on the verge of really flipping out & going insane & ending up exactly where you said I would end up if I didn't repent.
I know that it's not just the sunbathing that the Lord was angry about‚ but it was the underlying rebelliousness & real disobedience & defiance of authority‚ God's authority, your authority, the Family's authority, & that the Lord was really angry with my pride & my self-righteousness.
I guess it took almost having to leave—& in my heart & spirit I was already gone, except for the Lord holding on to me & the Family's prayers & your prayers & Jesus just not letting go of me! I feel like I get no credit at all for even being able to have taken this rebuke, because I didn't take it & even sent you a message saying I couldn't receive it & I was going to have to be excommunicated & I was going to accept that as my punishment, that leaving was the only way for me because I couldn't accept this Letter.
The Daily Light had some verses on the day the Letter arrived that clearly speak about the state I was in. "The whole head is sick & the whole heart faint. From the sole of the foot even unto the head‚ there is no soundness in it, but wounds & bruises & putrifying sores. They have not been closed, neither bound up, neither mollified with ointment." (Isa.1:5‚6) "We are all as an unclean thing & all our righteousness are as filthy rags. In me, that is in my flesh, dwelleth no good thing." (Isa.64:6; Rom.7:18)—And certainly in my sun–worshipping & suntanning, there dwelt no good thing, only disobedience & defiance of the Lord. I thought I was so clean & doing such good works by being a Teen Shepherdess etc.‚ when actually all my righteousness was as filthy rags to the Lord. My good works were all my sacrifices that I was using to replace obedience, utter obedience to God & His Will, & it was just putrid to the Lord.
It was just pure vanity that made me a sun-worshipper. I not only enjoyed the sun & had an addiction to it, but I was so vain that I thought I really needed that horrible suntanned look in the summer to be beautiful & attractive. It all goes back to my inferiority complexes that I have about myself & my looks & it's just being much too concerned about my outward appearance, when God is concerned with the state of my heart & my inward beauty. I was so conscious of my clothing & how I looked & appeared to others. I just needed my robes washed in His blood. "A glorious church not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but holy in the begotten image. Ye are complete in Him." (Eph.5:27; Col.2:10)
I realised what a Systemite I had become in my heart & how much all of these things meant to me. Actually, that's what the Lord's been fighting all these years to do, is get all that System out of me that I let get into me—worldliness, System ideas of beauty & attractiveness & appearance. It almost took me right out of the Family this time, I had made such a god out of it, without even realising it! That was the biggest danger of all.
I was stricken with a sun sore on my lip the very night that the Letter came in & I was given the Letter, as a sign from God that I could be stricken with much worse from the sun & my sun-worshipping & my disobedience if I didn't repent! I honestly believe it was a sign from the Lord of what could happen & where I was headed! It's just the mercy of God that I haven't had melanoma, because by all rights I should have. As much as the Lord has warned me about this sun-worshipping, you'd think I would have taken heed‚ but I didn't, which shows the pride of my heart & life.
Please pray for me, dear Dad, that I can draw closer to Jesus & be more like Him & truly be a daughter of the Spirit & not of the flesh, & that I can be born again in the Spirit & be the new creation that the Lord wants to make of me, & that I will let go of these things of the flesh, & let go of this holding on in the flesh, & that I will just be willing to be like everyone else in this Family, an obedient member. I want to thank you once again for not compromising with sin, even in your own daughter.
—Love‚ Faithy
(Amen. GBY! ILY!—"Bone of my bone & flesh of my flesh," ILY!—Tx!—D.)
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At the end of her two-week suspension, Faithy wrote the following letter to Dad:
Dear Dad,
GBY! ILY & am so thankful for your love, mercy & forgiveness, & for your messages of encouragement & help, & especially for the Words & prayers which have really helped to bring me through. This battle was a very tough one for me, mostly because of my pride & self-righteousness & not wanting to face how bad I really was—& am—& that it's only by the grace of God I can be here serving Jesus at this moment. I want to thank you once again for saving my life & service for Jesus.
I'm now realising more clearly how much the Lord wanted to change me through all of this—& is changing me—& I am very very happy to report that I feel like a new creature! I was able to give my public confession to the Home, which was something I thought I could never do when I was in such a state of rebelliousness. But what was impossible with me certainly was possible with God! He was not only able to help me with the public confession & to repent in front of everyone, but the best part is that He put it in my heart to really want to fight against that evil & rebellion in my life‚ & to really warn others.
He gave me the strength to take all the blame for my sins, & as you said‚ to take it on the chin, knowing that I even deserve far worse. When I was praying this morning, I was thinking I wanted to reread the Letter "Rulebreakers Beware" so as to keep it close to my heart & to keep a real fear of the Lord. I was thinking how I did deserve much worse, but the Lord has not rewarded me according to my sins but has been so merciful to me these past years in really trying to draw me into closer fellowship with Him & with you. He has taken me step by step to bring me to this point of being completely smashed & broken in order to be remade as a brand new vessel.
I'm just so thankful for this change in my heart because I now actually feel the desire to really be that good sample that everyone expected of me through the years & to really strive for it.—Not for my own perfection‚ but for the sake of the Family, to let Jesus shine through me & to be a real sample of a God-fearing woman who is clothed with humility & grace & not subject to all these worldly lusts & influences, but who is totally yielded & abandoned to Him & wanting nothing else but to really please Him in everything that I do or say.
I've been reading through a lot of the old Letters like "Revolutionary Women!", "Revolutionary Sex!", "Jealousy!"‚ "Dumps!", "Squeeze Don't Jerk!"—Letters which talk about how we should be revolutionary in all these areas. It's amazing how alive those Letters become when you really need them! I'm seeing that the Lord really wants to make me a completely new‚ Godly creature‚ & it's taken you, Dad, to blast those System influences & hang-ups out of me, as well as free me from the hold that they've had on me.
I'm just so thankful that the Lord in His mercy saw fit to have you take your precious time & a lot of other people's time to try to help me, because I know that I don't deserve it. I feel that I deserve much worse punishment than I received. So please don't feel bad in any way. I'm sorry that it hurt you to have to so seriously correct this very dangerous spiritual condition that I was in. But I know that I wouldn't be here right now if it hadn't been for all your continual love, patience, mercy & chastisements throughout the years. So I just want to really thank you & once again say I'm so sorry for hurting you & for my lack of love, because you really have taken such good care of me & you really have loved me. I could never really pay you back for all that you've done for me.
So I just hope & pray that an obedient spirit that comes from obeying the Lord is going to take root in my life & that I'm going to be able to root out all the rest of these bad habits & disobediences one by one. I'm trying to pull them out by the roots with the help of others who are pointing out my NWOs & how they're manifested. The fact that I'm able to receive all this is just a miracle of God. I know it's just the result of your prayers‚ & I am really thankful! Thanks also for Techi's letter, that was very very encouraging.
Your latest comment, which came as a reaction to my confession, & the verse, "Bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh," was also really encouraging. To find a place of repentance would have been enough, but to continue to have that place & closeness to you & to continue to be a part of you is something I couldn't have even asked for‚ because I certainly no longer feel worthy to be called your daughter, as the Prodigal Son put it so well. But actually I know that the Lord has really changed my heart & my whole way of thinking & has put a new spirit within me. I feel so thankful that I could be used as an example—a "dandy bad example," sad to say—but nevertheless to still be of some help to others who are going down the same road of disobedience that I was. My only hope & prayer is that others who've been disobedient will be rescued by this lesson & correction & that I won't cause you any more pain or sorrow or hurt.
I want to commit myself to that goal of being a shining example from now on, like you mentioned. It may mean forsaking my whole wardrobe. It may mean forsaking my whole past, who I was & who I want to be, but I just want to forsake all to follow Jesus & you in a new, very clear path of obedience & subjection to the Lord & to you & this Family & its leadership.
I'm really thankful that your rebuke to me is being published so as to help anyone else who may need it. Please don't think I feel bad about it, because I don't. I'm actually looking forward to it. When I look back on it now, I see what a lifesaver the Lord threw out to me, & I hope it can be the same for others! Maybe your Letter will be that same lifesaver to someone else. I know it's only Jesus that keeps me & continues to give me the will to fight. I want to thank you once again for your mercy & your love & your compassion & your prayers. I hope & pray that I will no longer be one who makes you ashamed‚ but one that you can be really proud of by my yielding to the Lord & becoming a better & more obedient handmaiden. TYJ!
I just wanted to get this little victory letter off to you to let you know how I'm doing. My two weeks of repentance & penance & suspension has now finished. Your note on my letter of apology arrived exactly at the end of my suspension & that was like a real Heaven-sent message of mercy from you. Thank you for reading my confession & please, please forgive me for hurting you. I want you to know that I love you & I hope to serve you much more closely & more obediently‚ & more humbly in the days to come, in Jesus' name!—Faithy.