David Berg
—MOAugust 1973DFO No.260
P.O. Box 31‚ London WC2E 7LX, England or GPO Box 3141, San Juan, Puerto Rico 00936
SCRIPTURAL, REVOLUTIONARY LOVEMAKING FOR THE MARRIED: Who would instruct me ... embrace me.—Song of Solomon 8:2–3.
YOUR RIGHT TO ENJOY MARRIED LOVE: Male and Female created He them ... they shall be one flesh ... Be fruitful and multiply—Gen.1 and 2.
1. Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled—Heb.13:4. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence (lovemaking): also the wife unto the husband. ... Defraud not one another (don't withhold yourselves from each other), expect it be with consent. ... Come together ... for it is better to marry than to burn. ... If thou marry, thou hast not sinned—1Cor.7. Let the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house (marry young)—1Tim.5:14. To the pure all things are pure—Tit.1:15. Cherish (warm and soften) it‚ as the Lord the Church—Eph.5:29. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies ... as the Lord the Church—Eph.5:28.
2. WHERE: In bed—Heb.13:4 On the grass under the trees—SoS.1:16-17. In the field, the village or the vineyard—SoS.7:11-12. In a chariot—SoS.3:9-10. Variety is the spice of life!
3. COMPLETE NUDITY IMPORTANT: Gen.2:25—both naked. Isa.32:11—strip, make bare; 47:2—uncover thy locks (no curlers!)‚ make bare the leg‚ uncover the thigh, pass over the rivers (pubic area or sexual organs). Lam.4:21—be drunken (a little wine helps relieve inhibitions), make thyself naked. Heb.4:13—All things are naked and open unto the eyes of Him (as unto God).
4. WHEN: Ezk.16:7—The time of love (when you feel like it—day or night—even daily!). Eph.5:22—Wives submit ... as unto the Lord (even when you don't feel like it). Neither was the man created for woman, but the woman for the man—1Cor.11:9. Nevertheless‚ neither is the man without the woman, in the Lord—1Cor.11:11. (Without her, he's only half a man!)
5. HOW: With words—with much fair speech she causes him to yield, with the flattering of her lips she forced him—Pr.7:21. The voice of my beloved! ... My beloved spake. ... Sweet is the voice. ... My soul failed (yielded) when he spake. ... Instruct me—SoS.2:8,10,14; 5:6; 8:2. Saying, Open to me, my love!—SoS.5:2. (Guiding words and signals are so helpful—tell what you like!)
6. EQUIPMENT:
Perfume: The savour of thy good ointments ... perfumed with myrrh and frankincense, with all powders (talc)—SoS.3:6; 5:5.
Vaseline: ointments‚ oils—SoS.1:3; Esther 2:12—bathed in oil (bath oil). Pr.27:9—Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart. (Perfume is mood-inspiring, and a simple lubricant like Vaseline to the sexual organs is sometimes essential to avoid irritation from frequent friction, aids easier entry of the male organ into the female when she is poorly prepared or not yet aroused, or in the early days of marriage when the opening into her vagina (tube) is still virginal or small and tight. Vaseline on the man will also help delay premature ejaculation, or too-early orgasm, crisis or peak of ecstasy, aiding the woman in attaining a simultaneous orgasm—("going together")
Tissues: For wiping the hands and parts after coitus (intercourse) and to help prevent soiling linens—Pr.30:20—She wipeth her mouth (of her sexual organs).
Wine: stimulates sex, relaxes tensions and inhibitions, makes a good mouthwash and disinfectant, perfumes the breath and makes merry the heart—Ps.104:15; Ecc.10:19; Pr.31:6; Gen.27:28; Joel 2:19; "makes the maids"—Ecc.9:17. Drink no longer water, but use a little wine for thy stomach's sake—1Tim.5:23.
Bread: helps the hungry, strengthens before and after—"A loaf of bread, a jug of wines‚ and thou"—Omar Khayyam. Old Swedish proverb says: "Kissing don't last—cookin' do!"—Or‚ vice versa‚ if you prefer.
7. POSITIONS: SoS.1:13—He shall lie all night betwixt my breasts (the man on top, between her legs‚ is the most usual, but not necessary). 1Kg 1:2—Let her lie in thy bosom (when the man is tired and the woman active) SoS.2:3—I sat down under his shadow with great delight‚ and his fruit was sweet to my taste (man on his back, woman seated on his organ facing him and leaning back against his raising knees, causing deep penetration, extreme feeling and possible even with a half–erect penis (male organ), the man lies still, the woman is active—but never a position for early marriage or pregnancy). Ecc.4:9-12—Two are better than one‚ because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone? (Side by side, face to face, she opens her thighs, inserts his penis, closes her legs, deep penetration is impossible—good for pregnant. "Of love's thousand ways, a simple way with least labour."—Ovid). Rear entry, animal-like is used by some for less penetration and variety.
8. HOW TO EMBRACE: His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace (hug) me.—SoS.2:6; 8:3 (To be firmly clasped in his arms is thrilling to most women). Kissing: Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth—SoS.1:2. Thy lips drop (mouth open), honey and milk are under thy tongue (tongues touch and pet each other and explore the other's mouth.—The deep kiss is very sexually exciting, necessary for proper penetration). His mouth is sweet ... and the roof of thy mouth like the best wine.—SoS.5:16; 7:9. Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well (saliva)—Pr.5:15. Suck and be satisfied with the breasts. ... Let her breasts satisfy thee at all times, and be thou ravished always with her love! O that thou wert as my brother that sucked the breasts. ... Until the day break I will get me to the mountain of myrrh. ... I will take hold of thy breasts. ... There were their breasts pressed—Pr.5:15–19; Isa.66:11; SoS.7:7-8; 8:1 (Excites even to orgasm!)
9. PETTING: SoS.7:1-8—How beautiful the joints of thy thighs ... thy navel ... thy belly ... thy two breasts ... the neck ... a garden (pubic or female organ area) ... a spring, a fountain ... the plants ... a fountain of gardens ... well of waters, streams ... spices flow out (caressing of all of these parts of her body excites her and causes lubricants to flow out, bathing her vagina (tube) and its mouth for easy entry of the male organ, reducing friction and irritation; and his fondling of her parts also excites him and causes his penis to erect (stand up stiff and hard and long), ready for entry into her vagina). My beloved put his hand by the hole. ... My bowels were moved for him. ... My beloved knocketh, saying, Open unto me, my sister (he pets inside the lips and mouth of her hole, causing them to warm, melt and open—"cherisheth" the clitoris, a lump or nerve centre of excitement hardening and swelling at his touch just inside these lips above the hole, causing her to say:) Let my beloved come into his garden ... to open to my beloved. I opened to my beloved ... my hands ... my fingers (she puts him in).—SoS.4:12-16; 5:1-6 (She can also pet him in the same ways, massaging his penis with her fingers to erect him, starting the loving if he or she desires it.)—1Kg.1:2; SoS.3:1,2,4; 8:2—I would lead thee.
10. ENTRY: SoS.4:16-5:6; 6:2; 11:12—Open to me. ... I am come in. ... Make haste ... like the chariots ... like the roe—8:14 (He enters, they pump and try to climax together, wait for each other‚ try to help each other finish, taper off‚ and, if needed, he finishes her with his fingers—which may also be needed to help open her hole for the first time if a virgin, gently with lubricant. He withdraws, eats, sleeps.) SoS.2:5,7—I am sick of love. ... Stir not my love till he pleases.
USE IT—No.27:12-14
12. ESTHER EVEN HAD TO MARRY XERXES, the heathen king of Medo–Persia, to get the job done and deliver God's people! So God can make exceptions to His own rules—if He wants to, in order to accomplish His purpose—in that case, even being unequally yoked with that horrible System—a terrible price for one of His girls to have to pay in order to free His people. She had to be willing to become a queen of the system in order to protect the Children of God! What an assignment! Would you be willing to go that far the Lord and His Children?—To marry someone you didn't love, or even like, in order to further the Work of God?—Even contrary to the usual rules?—Like Hosea marrying a prostitute and being a faithful husband to his errant wife in order to demonstrate the Love, Mercy, Forgiveness‚ and Faithfulness of God? How's that for using the worst of the System to do God's Work!
13. FIRST OF ALL, RUTH HAD TO LIVE WITH HER MOTHER–IN-LAW; then lie with a rich‚ old man before they were married in order to persuade him to accomplish the Will of God by making him the father of her children—Obed, Jesse, King David‚ and finally Jesus!
14. TAMAR EVEN HAD TO PRETEND TO BE A HARLOT to get Judah to marry her, so that she, too might become one of Jesus' ancestors!
PASTORS II—No.49:12-14,16-29
12. BUT HONESTLY, I BELIEVE ONE OF THE GREATEST ASSETS TO A GOOD MARRIAGE IS HONESTY, ALONG WITH A SENSE OF HUMOR. DON'T HIDE ANYTHING FROM EACH OTHER! Share all things, and bear all things, and take no account of evil‚ and be able to laugh at the funny parts! Some women even get tickled while making love! I remember the night we heard one of our couples nearly splitting their sides in a lovemaking session! I don't know how they did it, but it sounded like a ball! My brother once said, "You take yourself too seriously," and this is possible sometimes! You may be taking the whole thing too seriously, it may not be half as bad as you think, and it might be better just to see the funny side of it all!
13. SOME OF YOU ARE BORN COMEDIANS, anyhow, and you always give us a laugh, which is usually good for us, and you use your talents to help cheer us up! Of course, some of you are just naturally funny without knowing it, and sometimes that can be a little hard on your pride! Like a friend of mine they hired for the circus as a clown, and when he asked them what he was supposed to do, they said, "Just act natural." So to be honest with yourself, maybe you just oughta act natural! Quit trying to "put on" and kid yourself and others that you're something you aren't. Just be your own sweet self, or better yet, be like Himself; but, whatever you do, don't try to fool us, or your mate, or God! You'll only wind up deceiving yourself!
14. PRAISE THE LORD? AMEN? I THINK WOMEN ARE NOT ONLY BEAUTIFUL, wonderful, soft and warm‚ but they're really funny! This is part of their being a help! Do you agree? And all the men said, "Amen"! Of course‚ men are funny, too‚ aren't they girls? And all the girls shrieked, "Hallelujah!" So the feeling's mutual! Ho, ho, ho! Thank God for a funny husband or wife! You'll get a good laugh every day‚ and really enjoy life! Ask God to help you to know when to laugh, and when to be sober‚ and how to know the difference! Some of the funniest times are when you're trying to be the most sober! Ask God to help you to be temperate in all thing, and be well balanced between the two! "Let your moderation be known to all men"! Don't be too sober, or too silly‚ either one, at least, not all the time!
16. SO MUCH FOR ADVICE TO THE LOVELORN. I'm not "Dear Abbey" or "Ann Landers," but maybe this will help some of you have a little more practical down–to-earth relationship, and know that you're both human being, and nobody's perfect—he's not the hero you thought he was, you're no angel, either—with the exception of my wife, of course! Of course‚ she may be like the woman whose husband said he knew his wife was an angel because she was always up in the air about something, always harping on something, and never had an earthly thing to wear! Are you that someone, always harping on something, and never having an earthly thing to wear? Are you that kind of angel? I hope not! God forbid, and help you to love him, be honest with him, and have a sense of humour!
17. OF COURSE, SOME OF YOUR SITUATIONS YOU HAVE WRITTEN ME ABOUT ARE NOT SO FUNNY, AND MUST BE TAKEN VERY SERIOUSLY! Some of you have gone to one extreme, and some of you to the other! Some of you in times past have sacrificed the Work for your husband, are doing just the opposite! The characters in this epistle are purely factual, and any resemblance to personalities now living is positively intentional!
18. THE RULE OF THUMB IS VERY SIMPLE—The solution is plain, but not always easy! God's Word makes it very clear, and it's summed up in the little slogan on priorities, "Jesus and Others, then you!" If you'll follow this simple rule, it'll keep you out of a lot of trouble! Jesus comes first! The first commandment is to love God! "For I the Lord thy God am a jealous God, and I will have no other gods before Me."—Not even His Work, or your mate, much less yourself! Some of you thought that by seeking first the Kingdom of God you were putting the King first—the King of kings, that is‚ but this is not always necessarily so! Sometimes you can neglect your fellowship with the King of kings because you're so busy with the affairs of the Kingdom, and this can be disastrous to your spiritual life and communion with the Lord! You cannot do the Master's Work without the Master's Power and Guidance! You can't make bedroom slippers for God‚ above His fellowship! Some of you have been guilty of this—and it's had serious consequences, however sincere and faithful you were to His Work! You must put Him first—God‚ that is, not the Work‚ not your husband, nor your wife‚ nor even others‚ only Jesus! He doesn't fit second place, and He won't take it! He won't stand for it, and you'll have trouble!
19. OTHERS HAVE PUT THE WORK BEFORE YOUR HUSBAND, but if your husband's ministry is your work, then this won't work, either, and what you're really trying to do is seek a self-glorifying ministry of your own, instead of being a helpmeet, as God intended for you to be! You'd better get with it, Sister—with him‚ I mean! Get it? Need I mention any names? I hate to have to do that, because it fits several of you, and I don't like to embarrass you before all who are reading this Letter, but you know who you are‚ and so does God, and so does everyone else, probably—everybody but you? I hope not! I hope you know who you are, and ask God to straighten you out!
20. WORSE YET, STILL OTHERS OF YOU HAVE SOMETIMES PUT YOUR HUSBANDS BEFORE THE WORK, and this is intolerable in any man's army! You've forgotten what you joined the army for, and you've been putting homemaking for him, first. This is deplorable and intolerable, and we have even lost a husband or two who demanded such attention, insisting on putting himself above God and His Work! Your wife belongs first of all to God and His Work, and last of all to you—and in this business, you can be thankful if you get anything of her at all!
21. BUT INSTEAD, SOME OF YOU HAVE BEEN SO DEMANDED THAT YOU'VE BEEN INSISTING ON BEING TREATED LIKE A GOD YOURSELF, and if you continue to try to take the place of God in her life, God is just apt to take her away from you completely, until you learn your lesson—and you're no exception, I don't care who you are! And you know who are you, and she knows who she is, and she has written to me recently about this! She has not complained about you, and she loves you, but she's confused about your attitude and concerned about your spiritual state when you will not let her put God first, particularly when her training, calling, and ministry are apt to exceed and outshine yours! It's just plain, pure, masculine jealousy, damnable, hellish pride, and you're going to wreck her life as well as yours, and maybe even some of God's Work‚ if you persist. I have told you before, that when it comes to God's Work in the realm of the Spirit and the ministry of the Church, there is no male nor female in Christ Jesus, neither bond nor free! Here she is no longer yours, but God's‚ no longer yours, but her public's‚ no longer bond, but free, no longer even female! If she had training, spiritual education, talents and gifts which far exceed yours in the spiritual ministry of the Church‚ then you must try not to hold her down! You cannot keep her back, or you're in trouble! You're apt to break her spirit, crush her heart, smother her zeal, destroy her ministry‚ and displease God! Watch out!
22. NOW WATCH OUT THAT THE WRONG PEOPLE DON'T TAKE THE WRONG MESSAGE TO HEART! You may be the very one I'm talking to, but in your listener's generosity are passing the buck to somebody else‚ a very human custom, which began with the first couple in the Garden of Eden! God means you, not the other fellow! Are you guilty? If the shoe fits, wear it! It's the hit dog that usually howls! If this hurts‚ you're probably guilty! On the other hand, it might hurt because you think I think you're guilty, but frankly, I'm inclined to agree with you, and your letters that I have received, so don't take this the wrong way! Ask God to show you the truth‚ and He will!
23. BUT WHAT I SAY UNTO ONE, I SAY UNTO ALL, because the problem is not confined to you alone! It has cropped up before and may again, so we might as well deal with it generally, so that all may fear! Don't let it happen to you!
24. THE SUPERIORITY OF A WIFE OVER HER HUSBAND IN SPIRITUAL THINGS, IN THIS DAY AND AGE IS NOT RARE! My mother was one, but they made a perfect team, because my father humbly and rightfully acknowledge it, and supplemented her ministry with his own gifts, which she lacked! She was a brilliant prophetess of God, and inspired leader, with many mighty spiritual gifts, and a strongly appealing public personality. She had the background for it, and was the rightful heir to her famous father's public talents, with a lifetime of training in the field from childhood! This is a tremendous heritage, which is hard to beat, if yielded to God, and used by the Spirit! My father was a handsome singer with a beautiful voice, and a brilliant and analytical teacher, with a terrific knowledge of the Word, as well as being practical and conservative in material matters, so that together they made a wonderful team, just as God had designed—as long as he was willing to let her lead in the field of her own talents, and not stand in her way! As a result, God gave them a mighty ministry, tens of thousands were saved and healed and helped and hundred went into a fulltime ministry for the Lord, many to mission fields abroad, and their influence still carries on in me my children, and you my children!
25. BUT THERE WAS A TIME IN THEIR LIVES WHEN HIS RELATIVES AND WELL-MEANING FRIENDS persuaded him that their relationship was not right, that he should take over and take the lead, spiritually and every other way, and make her a back seat, squelch her gifts, and silence her witness—and this nearly ruined them both! She tried to do it, but like Jeremiah, couldn't! He tried to domineer, but only got in God's way, and God's Work rolled right on over him, and left him far behind, using me, to help carry on her ministry‚ and he wound up a broken, disheartened man; whereas, I went on in sense, to steal his crown, sad to say! I'm sure he'll be rewarded for the days he was faithful, and the wonderful Christian heritage he gave to me, which made it possible, but he lost part of his reward in the end, and instead of becoming a great teacher and flaming evangelist, as he had hoped, his friends had only lured him from the Great Wall that he was building with my mother, and he came down to almost nothing in the end! Don't let it happen to you! Don't stand in God's Way, even if it's God in your wife, or you'll be sorry‚ and so will she, for she may have to go on without you, as my mother did, rather than fail God, and God is more than able‚ in these exception cases, to supply her with a better co-worker, who will acknowledge her gifts‚ give way to her ministry, and do everything he can do help her perform it, as I did, for I took his place! Don't fail God, so that He has to let someone take yours! And don't feel sorry for yourself‚ and try to blame it on God, and quit! Self-pity is pride; hurt feelings are damnable, stinking self‚ and at the root of every doubt‚ there is sin, the heinous, diabolical sin, of rebellion against God's will! This is why people doubt! They're not willing to accept the truth, but prefer strong delusion, rather than obey the will of God! Don't let it happen to you—and you know who I'm talking to! Snap out of it, quit feeling sorry for yourself, confess your faults to yourself‚ your wife, and God; and if the whole congregation already knows it, to them, too! But if you persist in standing in God's way because of your pride and unyieldedness to His Will, your disobedience will bring on an overwhelming flood of doubts and delusions, which may land you on the scrap heap, while God's work goes on without you, and she goes on with God! Which will it be? May God give her the guts, with or without you!
26. WE HAVE A NUMBER OF SHINING EXAMPLES OF THIS IN OUR MIDST, of the husband and wife teams that have made this combination work, of a gifted husband and wife, both talented in public ministry and faithful in the Lord's service, in which the husband is willing to let his wife perform her spiritual public ministries, in both inspiration, teaching, leading, and witnessing, while at the same time exercising his own outstanding talents in the same fields‚ as well as others that she does not have.—And look at the tremendous‚ phenomenal results! What a glorious example of humility and yieldedness and cooperation on the part of both! Look at what God can do with such a combination, and beware that you don't fail His Plan by standing in His Way! The days of your ignorance God winked at, but now He calls you to repent before it is too late! You have stood in her way before‚ and not only failed God yourself, but caused her to fail God, too! God has been patient with you and given you great space to repent, having been warned by both me, and even others before me—but now it's later than you think! There's no more time for foolish pride, and your fleshly, masculine, domineering! Get out of yourself, and get in the Spirit! Let go and let God work through your wife—now, before it's too late, or both she, and God, will leave you behind! This is a final warning! You've come close before—don't fool around any longer. We need both of you, every one of you, but no one is indispensable! Selah!
27. TOGETHER YOU CAN MAKE A TREMENDOUS TEAM‚ like my mother and father and a number of others! Don't hinder the Work of God by holding her down! Give her a chance; that's all God asks! You need her‚ and His Work needs her, but she can have no other gods before the Lord! She must go on with God! I hope and pray you can have the humility to follow! I hope she can have the courage to dare!
28. GOD BLESS YOU BOTH! I love you dearly, and so does God! Let nothing discourage you! You're doing a great job, but there's still greater work to be done, and God needs every ounce of talent that both of you have! Don't either hinder the other! Obey God! Work together! Know your limitation! Use all your talents!
29. PRAISE GOD, I HOPE YOU GET THE POINT! What's sauce for the goose‚ is sauce for the gander! You've dished it out, now take it! God bless you! We love you and are praying for you! Please don't fail us or God—or each other! God's will be done—and it will, in spite of any of us; but don't miss the blessing by missing your part! God needs you! We need you! Millions of lost young people need you! Love,
LONDON—No.58:12-16
12. HOWEVER, FROM WHAT I CAN GATHER, there still seems to be a tendency to overload them with boys and keep the girls at home, for one thing! I think, in all fairness, unless they're about to be mothers within a month or two, there should be as high a proportion of girls on these teams, as there is at home! To send out a team of all boys and only one girl, and that one married to the leader, seems a little unfair to me, to both the boys and the girl involved! It's apt to overload her with too much motherly responsibility‚ as well as affection, as well as under-supply the boys with some of the comfort and companionship they need in the way of helpmeets, as well as to look rather peculiar to the general public. There seems to be a little reluctance on the part of you leaders toward marriages of late, and some couples who requested to be married even before I left, are still not married, and some of our leaders who need to be married, and have requested marriage are still not married, while some of our girls are nearly watering at the mouth for a husband! I'm inclined to believe that there's an unwillingness on the part of some of you bases to let go of your girls for marriage, or otherwise and there have been surprisingly few marriages since I left, although many of our old-timers are still lacking wives or husbands! I tell you brethren, these things ought not to be so! As I have often said, that except in the few rare cases of the extremely rare eunuch, most men and women need to get married‚ particularly in places of responsibility and leadership, and especially in this day and age. Except a man learn to rule his own household well, how can be rule the children of God? If he's not even willing to take the responsibility of a wife, how can he be responsible for a whole family. This also avoids many other problems, even if it adds a few, and I'm personally convinced, contrary to the personal opinions of the Apostle Paul, if you'll pardon me, My Dear Brother Paul—we can't expect to agree on everything, it is my personal opinion that most boys nowadays need to get married—and certainly most girls, which is what they were made for; and as few girls as we have in our outfit, they certainly need to get married, as we surely don't have that many eunuch boys—and I'm personally convinced that they're apt to have less problems married than unmarried—and that a man can devote himself better to the Lord's Service when he has settled this major problem, as even Paul had to confess, in his "To Each His Own" exhortation: Let every man have his own wife, and every woman her own husband, and that bishops, elders, pastors, and deacons ought to be married, as is manifest by his exhortations to them in both Timothy and Titus—certainly at least our officers should have this problem settled, so they can unite together in the Lord's Service!
13. THIS IS PARTICULARLY TRUE OF THE NEW TEAMS YOU'RE SENDING OUT, certainly of their leadership, and if possible, of their officers. This should keep the proportion of women on the teams at least as high as it is at home, although in some cases, I grant, this may not be possible; but if not, I'd like to know why not; although I realise our boys outnumber our girls usually about two to one, certainly at least a sprinkling of babe girls on a team of mostly babe boys would at least give them all some hope, some comfort, some female companionship and affection‚ and some coeducational experience of how to get along with the opposite sex before marriage!
14. I'LL TELL YOU RIGHT NOW THAT WE ARE AT THE MOMENT VISITING IN A COUNTRY WHICH PERMITS ALMOST NO CONTACT BETWEEN THE SEXES before marriage—and I mean, hardly even a conversation, hardly even a look, and where the marriages are all arranged by the parents, and the children given almost no choice whatsoever‚ and sometimes hardly see each other before they're married! But from what we can personally observe here, this has resulted in many miserable and unhappy marriages, because they did not learn to know each other, love each other, or work together‚ much less live together, before marriage! It would amaze you!—You rarely even see a girl on the streets here, not many work‚ and they virtually never date unless some relative is along—and how many boys wanna take a girl out with her grandmother? Result: the streets, cafes, and theatres are filled with an almost 100 percent totally male society, so that it's almost unbelievable. We hardly know what a Greek girl looks like‚ much less a Turkish girl, who are even more Oriental in this practice!
15. BUT AS WE HAVE SAID‚ WE HAVE NOT FOUND THAT THIS MAKES FOR A WHOLESOME RELATIONSHIP between the sexes, much less happy marriages, and even worse, it has resulted in some of these countries being notorious for their homosexuality amongst men! If you wanna prevent this kind of a disaster, give our boys their women, and NOW! I am convinced from my own experience, and the experience of my children, and you‚ that the more you live together as brother and sister, working, studying, eating, relaxing‚ and playing together, etc. before marriage, the better you will know each other, and know whether you are suited to each other, and really want to live together, or not. Because most of marriage is not sex, but the mere living together of daily life in all of its activities, If their association cannot stand this test, it certainly will not stand the even more severe test of marriage! How about it, leaders? Need I say more? It's time to take action along this line, especially before everybody's separated, and scattered out all over the place, with broken hearts and lonely separations from their loving prospects. It's better to get these matters settled, even before you send them out in teams, if you can; but if not, at least try to put a few hopefuls together on the outgoing teams. I'm all for marriage!—You oughtta know that by now! I think it's the greatest life in the world outside of serving Jesus—and thank God we can have both! Let's get with it, Folks—Boys and Girls, wake up your leaders, be persistent and importunate, and hound them 'til you get an answer; otherwise how are they gonna know you really mean business! Let's go, Kids! Let's get it together! Hallelujah!
16. WELL, BELIEVE IT OR NOT, THIS HAS A LOT TO DO WITH OUR TEAMS—and that's why I mention it now! Another suggestion for them, which I've made before, is that a team does not have to be all leaders, not even all elder brothers and sisters! It can even be all babes, as Jesus had, as long as it has at least one good experienced leader‚ a real man of God, in touch with the Holy Spirit, and preferably with a good wife leader, as well, a couple who know what they're doing and can lead and teach the babes as they go. This will prevent you from robbing home bases of too much leadership. Also, I would suggest, although it is not perfect security, but to save leadership, use and share it‚ top leaders going into seclusion of farms, etc., might teach babes there, also!
NEW COLONIES II—No.60:29,57
29. BEFORE YOU PROCEED WITH OUR ADVICE ON THE PERSONNEL of new teams and Colonies, I would like to reply to the very urgent needs of a number of you who have written regarding marriage. Thank you for your sweet letters! I have already stated‚ recently that I don't know why we haven't had more marriages lately‚ and so many of our leaders are still without mates‚ though there are many available, qualified girls. First, the two of you must agree on it‚ then apply to your elders for their approval, and if they and the Lord approve I certainly do! Go to it!
57. AND AS FOR COMPLETING THE COURSE BEFORE YOU TRUST THEM WITH WORK or any responsibility, much less leadership—how many of you leaders completed the course before you were put in positions of leadership? Some of our top leaders never had the full course, so who the hell are you to question the wisdom of God on the basis of pencil pushers and paper skill. Three of our most trusted leaders can't even spell; some of them never even finished Junior High, much less all of our requirements, but God put you in places of responsibility and leadership when you were needed‚ and judged you by His own standards. Selah! Put the babes to work and let them marry!
SUGGESTIONS—No.124:10
10. THIS IS ANOTHER REASON WHY LEADERS SHOULD NOT MARRY BABES unless they have unusually strong leadership potential, which is obvious and already in use. This has already caused problems for some of our best leaders! "Not a novice"! Experience is still the best teacher and no one should be placed in a position of top leadership or even near the top unless they are capable of handling the responsibility involved.
THE GYPSIES—No.61:2
2. SPEAKING OF VALENTINES, I HOPE YOU'RE GETTING YOUR MARRIAGE TAKEN CARE OF, as I've suggested; the more the marryer—so marry'er! Amen? And all the boys and girls said, ... "Amen!" And I hope we don't have anything else but boys and girls. In the beginning God created them male and female, and said Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the whole earth! So let's get busy and obey His commandment! Especially you sexy little gals who are watering at the mouth for a nice juicy boy.—Go ahead and marry him. And you elders, let them marry; they sin not, that every one may have his or her own, and to avoid fornication; it's God's Word and God's Plan! So get with it! Don't hand me any of that eunuch or St. Paul stuff‚ unless you are a eunuch or St. Paul. If you're like all the rest of us, you need a mate—and bad!—And you better wake up and break down, and marry one, and quit trying to get the victory over something God ordained you to do. It's like trying to get the victory over eating! Temperance is one thing, but if you quit altogether for too long, you'll die! It's like the farmer who said he'd gotten his cow used to going without feed, and he'd have gotten her used to going without water, too, if she hadn't up and died.—And some of you reluctant gentlemen who don't wanna oblige, to show how holy you are, how sanctified, how holier-than-thou and sanctimonious by refusing to marry that poor little girl who's just dying for you, had better take a tip from the story of the two farmers who owned one cow together! When they got it home, the one wise guy claimed he owned the rear end where the milk was, and that the other one owned the front end that had to be fed. One day, the farmer that was getting all the milk went out and found his dear Bonanza dead, and the other one that been feeding it said, "Sorry, but I got tired of feeding my half‚ and your half just died!" If you don't get the point, maybe somebody can explain it to you. In other words, you better stop being so damn selfish‚ expecting everything and giving nothing in return. The labourer is worthy of her hire and muzzle not the ox that treadeth out the corn. You expect the girls to do everything for you—your wash, your mending, cooking food, clean house‚ take care of the office and the school and the kids, and be a lovely decoration and a comfort to the whole Colony, but you're not willing to knuckle under‚ or maybe I should say knuckle over and give them their due; or maybe I should say‚ their duty of marriage! He that withholdeth‚ it tendeth to poverty, but there is that that scattereth abroad, and it increaseth! Be fruitful and multiply—that's one of the first principles of this outfit in more ways than one, We believe in multiplication—that's a part of the game—in more ways than one! Two and two don't make four—they oughtta make a dozen—so let's get busy, Boys! Give the girls their due—their duty of marriage! DO IT!—Unless you wanna be like the Antichrist, who won't regard the desire of women! Could it be that he that regardeth not the desire of women is anti-Christ, defying the plan of God‚ and living selfishly, only for his own interests, enjoying his privacy, and unwilling to share, and refusing to humble his pride? If you want to learn something about unselfishness, humility and sharing, just get married! Then somebody will find out just how good a Christian you really are! I think some of you guys are afraid to get showed up for the egotistical, conceited, selfish asses you really are. You don't want some little female to humble you‚ and to have to get down on your knees to her! Well, she's willing to get flat on her back for you, so why should you object to getting on your knees for her! Sock it to'em, Boys, they need it! Some of them need to be humbled, too, and if they can't make up their minds, you make it up for'em! Are you gonna let the girl make the very first and most important decision of all, as to whether you should get married or not? Is she gonna have to come to you and tell you that the Lord revealed to her you oughtta get married—or are you gonna be a man and face up to it, and settle it with God and her and admit you need a woman as much as she needs a man, and you owe it to her as much as she owes it to you, and agree together that you oughtta get married for the Lord's sake, His Work's sake, and your own sake? How about it, Boys‚—and girls? Are you ready? Then let's go, go‚ go! Some of you are way overdue! You're lagging way behind. And there have been times when we even lost some boys and girls because we were slow in getting them married. If it takes marriage to keep the babes happy, let them marry; they sin not. It is better to marry than to burn!—Or to let them burn! Marry that fire!
TO MY SONS OF ALL COLOURS—No.105:5,3,18
5. I JUST WANT TO LET YOU KNOW THAT AS FAR AS WE‚ YOUR LEADERSHIP, ARE CONCERNED, we do not think that it should influence your choice, except by your own personal preference. Her other qualifications are far more important than her colour‚ and we feel it's far more important that you make your choice on the basis of these qualities than any other consideration.
3. THEREFORE‚ AS YOUR FATHER IN THE LORD‚ I would certainly advise you, Son, to take a pretty long look at any girl's qualifications for such an extremely important job!—And these major qualifications and spiritual requirements should be the principal determining issues, as well as love, compatibility‚ and personal preferences. I certainly do not think that colour should have much, if anything, to do with it! We are all one in Christ Jesus, there is no difference, I'm sure, as far as the Lord is concerned‚ because God looketh on the heart and not on the outward appearance!—Although I realise that there are sometimes some problems in interracial marriages, these usually stem from the prejudices of others—outsiders—but we cannot permit ourselves to be influenced too greatly by the opinions of men, as men-pleasers, since these men are usually Systemites! I know that it is true, also, that sometimes the children of such marriages suffer from the same,—so these are some factors in counting the cost.
18. So who needs a girl who's turned down two of the finest leaders of the world's greatest Revolution just because they're Black! May God deliver us from colour consciousness!—For here we are all one, and there is no Jew nor Gentile, no Bond nor Free, no Black nor White—but we are all one in Christ Jesus, Hallelujah! So perhaps you've been looking in the wrong direction for a mate, My Son! "What is that in thine hand?"—As God said to Moses and Shammah and the Widow of Zarephath, and a few others!—Perhaps you need to look in another direction or even closer at hand, toward one of your other sisters who loves you, appreciates you, admires you, for what you are, and not how you look! Any girl who judges the Book by its cover, doesn't deserve to have what's inside! And the inside of your book, let me tell you, is going to determine the future of the world‚ Hallelujah!
SCHEDULES—No.106:56
56. ... VARIETY IS THE SPICE OF LIFE, and some of these poor guys could stand a little variety, and spend a little more time with their wives‚ and stop this mass exodus of wives from our Colonies! Well, actually, we've only lost two or three so far‚ but I'm trying to stop it before it becomes a landslide, because of the way some of you have been overworking their husbands! I can hardly blame some of these women for wanting to quit a husband who's never home, and wanting to move to some other Colony, with or without him, or backsliding altogether! So God help us to start equalising the work load and spreading it out so everybody will have their fair share of every kind of duty, pleasant or unpleasant, good or bad, easy or hard! ...
GET IT TOGETHER—No.123:3-6‚12‚18-38
3. HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN, BOYS‚ SINCE YOU COMMUNICATED WITH YOUR WIFE? WHAT KIND OF COMMUNICATION‚ GIRLS, DO YOU HAVE WITH YOUR HUSBAND? If your communication with God is good, you will have excellent communication with your husband, because God is the central exchange that makes the connection. Without good communication with your Lord there cannot be much good communication between you. Because without good communication with God, you will be a God-damned‚ self-righteous, stuck-on-yourself, critical pig!
4. HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN, FELLOWS, SINCE YOU TRIED TO DO SOMETHING NICE, CONSIDERATE, KIND, FOR YOUR WIFE?—Something unselfish,—something she wouldn't even notice—something you might not even get the credit for—because you love her! That means real love—the kind that only God can give.—Because you are concerned about her welfare, and her happiness, and her feelings. How long has it been for you, girls? How long has it been since you have been unselfish for your husbands? That you did something for him that you didn't expect to get anything out of yourself? Hmm? How long's it been?
5. I KNOW SOME PEOPLE HERE THAT SERVE UNSELFISHLY, sacrificially, utterly giving themselves to the utmost and yet never getting the credit for it, and are virtually unknown! But God has a great big Book, and it's known to Him, and He's writing it all down! And He'll reward everyone according to his works—whether they be good, or whether they be evil. What do you think you deserve? I know people you can walk all over, then just ball them out for mistakes—some they didn't even make—and they will still say: "I'm sorry‚ forgive me for having lived." (Luke 17:10)
6. YOU ARE TOO DAMNED STUCK ON YOURSELVES! That's what your problem is! You're thinking you are too much of a hero. For the benefit of you new revolutionaries‚ we don't have sessions like this every night. It's a pity we don't‚ because then we could really trim this group down to a Gideon's Band. When we had 50 people‚ I said: "We've got too many people and we've got to get rid of a few." Twenty-five left in the next week!
12. WHEN YOU'RE OUT DAMNING THE CHURCHES AND DAMNING MOLOCH‚ YOU FEEL VERY SATISFIED WITH YOURSELVES! You come home with the same attitude toward your wife!—And you feel real self-righteous because you've shown how much better you are than the rest of the world! Do you come home with the same attitude toward your husband or wife? When was the last time you did something loving for them? (Luke 6:38 and Gal 6:7!)
18. THAT'S WHAT I CAME DOWN TO TALK TO ALL OF YOU ABOUT; the rest is thrown in for extras! They did some things like that in the Old Testament, why not now? I'm telling you that if you are guilty, you deserve that much. How many of you wives submit yourselves as the True Church submits herself to Christ? Have you been submitting yourself to him like Jesus? He represents Jesus to you! He's an illustration of Jesus!
19. WATCH OUT FOR THE SITUATION WHERE THERE'S NO PARALLEL IN THE SPIRITUAL FOR YOUR ACTIONS IN THE REALM OF THE PHYSICAL! In the church of Jesus Christ there is no male or female! Your damn sex organs don't mean a thing to God! In the operation of the spiritual gifts there is true equality for women! He promised to pour out His Spirit upon His sons and daughters! But when it comes to the operation of sex and the home and the husband/wife relationship, God has made it very clear who's the boss!
20. DO YOU BELIEVE THE BIBLE? Then why don't you do it! You're breaking the commandment of God everytime you refuse! You don't have to feel like it—but it would be better if you did! He doesn't have to be romantic—but it would be better if he was! But you better submit! How are we going to have a Revolution for Jesus if you can't even love your husband or wife, your brothers or sister whom you have seen!
21. IF YOU DON'T GET THE POINT, I'LL FEEL JUSTIFIED TO USE THIS POINT (CANE) ON YOU! Do you hear that Betty, Gail, Connie, Nancy‚ Claudia‚ Kathy? I am the final troubleshooter! God will use us, as your parents in the Lord! We went over some of these passages when you got married and you were asked if you believed them: Not good for a man to be alone ... a virtuous woman is a crown to her husband ... the marriage bed is undefiled!
22. THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH YOUR HUSBAND FUCKING YOU, GIRLS! It won't hurt your saintliness! But it will shoot holes in your ego and in your pride! "Benevolence"—Bene volence: good moving!—Begins with you guys!—Means some lovemaking and some old-fashioned necking and kissing! Start if off with some good moving lovemaking! Some of you guys ride her like a horse!—Get on and get off! No wonder she does some bucking!
23. GOOD LOVEMAKING BEGINS WITH TRUE LOVE. THE BEST TEACHER IS GOD! Begin with that point (true love)‚ and maybe she will accept the other point! "Render unto the wife due benevolence." Sometimes you get more out of it than you put in. They're being born all over the place! Praise God! Nobody wants to make love to a corpse or ride a polished log! Give him some cooperation! Or are you thinking of your own selfish interests? I told one brother, "One way or the other you're going to have a better wife!" I'll say the same thing to you now, Girls: One way or the other, your husband is going to have a better wife!
24. YOU HAVE THE SWEETEST, HUMBLEST HUSBANDS AROUND, BECAUSE THEY ARE THE ONLY ONES WHO WILL PUT UP WITH YOU! 1Cor 7:15. If your wife won't listen to you, take some friends to talk to her, and if she won't listen to them, maybe we will have to show her what a good wife should be in front of the congregation!—Maybe help you learn something! But maybe that just doesn't excite you!
25. BUT MARRIAGE IS A LOT MORE THAN JUST FUCKING! THERE'S A HIGHER LOVE—AGAPE! Eros is a small part of it. But breakdown of eros means there is something wrong with philos or agape. We'll get you in front here and find out what's wrong with your eros! You are to honour your husband and give reverence unto him. That's a commandment of God! Are you afraid of him?—You should be! It doesn't say, provided he fits my idea of a hero, or provided he treats me the way I want to be treated! It says obey because he is the likeness of God to you! Your position is that of the Church of Christ! Is that clear? If you don't start doing better real fast, then God will start doing better for him! (Deut.24:1)
26. JESUS MAKES IT HARDER IN THE NEW TESTAMENT: MORE RIGID—ALSO MORE LOVE.—CAN ONLY DIVORCE FOR FORNICATION OR ADULTERY. She's getting some loving elsewhere—and loving herself. Fucking herself and polluting her soul by going after other gods. If you're not performing according to Scripture, we'll be rough on you in order to get some of the pride out of you and save your soul! Been cheating on your husband?—You do so by denying him his privileges. Respect that. When you want to pray, you have to agree together! If you decide to fast and become holy—both sides have to agree! Are you so holy and sanctimonious that you feel right in withholding your body from your husband?—That's enough to make any man enraged!—Denying God and breaking commandments of Christ, when you withhold your body from your husband!
27. CONFESS TO BEATING UP YOUR HUSBAND AND WITHHOLDING YOUR BODY FROM YOUR HUSBAND!—IT'S NOT THE WIFE'S PLACE TO DO SO! "Thy rod and thy staff they comfort me." What you girls need is some of that rod, some good old-fashioned New Testament discipline! How long did you think you could get away with it?—Going around crying on other people's shoulders about how mean your husband is when you're denying him his due? It's a whole lot better with love, but it's your due to obey whether there's love or not!—Whether he decides to treat you like a little goddess or not! I never took that kind of thing from my wife!—And if she resisted, I let her have it!—And if that won't work—submit her to God, who will take care of it! You may find it is better to let him have what he wants than to suffer some other way!
28. YOU WERE MADE TO BE A HELPMEET: TO HELP HIS MEAT! "Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands." That means that you do whatever he wants! Excluding sexual perversions—because it is unhealthy. It is better to marry than to burn! Better to let him marry you nightly than to make him burn! Watch out for sexual perversions; they are unhealthy and unscriptural, but as far as plain old-fashioned fucking—there's no law against it! There's nothing wrong with your body. God made it to feel that way!
29. WIVES, SUBMIT YOURSELVES UNTO YOUR HUSBANDS AS UNTO THE LORD. Have you been doing that? For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the Head of the Church. Are you treating him like Christ? "Let them do what they will‚ they sin not"! Even as Christ has loved the Church‚ husbands love your wives. Therefore, as the Church is subject unto Christ, let the wives be subject unto their own husbands. Because he is the type of Christ as you are the type of the Church!
30. BOYS, DO YOU LOVE HER AS CHRIST LOVES YOU? ARE YOU SHOWING HER THE KIND OF LOVE THAT JESUS SHOWS THE CHURCH?—Kindly, protective, considerate, loving‚ willing to come down from your lofty state and make simple love! Are you treating her like Jesus treats the Church? Then maybe that's why she's not behaving as the Church should! Do you give yourself for her, even as Christ gave Himself for the Church?
31. THAT'S THE FIRST BAD SIGN: WHEN HUSBAND AND WIFE DON'T SIT TOGETHER!—If you don't talk together and share together and tell each other everything—I mean everything! Between husband and wife‚ there should be no secrets; there should be communication! Love her as much as you love your own body! Are you as good to your wife as to yourself? I don't mean just fucking! "Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that (she) should do to you, do ye even so to (her)." That is not always easy! You would like them to do it for you‚ so you will do it for them! Are you doing it boys? Well then, maybe‚ it isn't only the wife's fault!
32. IT USUALLY TAKES TWO TO MAKE A FIGHT! USUALLY BOTH SIDES ARE TO BLAME! Do you try to make her happy? She is to encourage and inspire you! Do you do that for her? I never fucked my wife without thanking her and praising the Lord at the same time! You don't even have the class to say thank you to her!
33. —AND COMPLIMENT HER! Tell her she's beautiful and she'll be beautiful! Tell her she's wonderful and she'll be wonderful! He that loveth his wife, loveth himself! "No man ever hated his own flesh"! You may not like her‚ but you still have to love her! She may be a hell of a fool, but you have still got to love her! She may be as ugly as a mud fence, but you're still going to love her!
34. GOD BLESS YOU! I LOVE YOU! THAT'S WHY I'M SPANKING YOU, because I love you! Do you cherish her, Boys, even as the Church! If you're not getting much out of it, it may be because you're not putting much into it! It may not be 50/50, but it should be at least 60/40! Do you love her even as yourself? Maybe, if you gave her a little more love like you give yourself, she would love you more!
35. AND THE "WIVES SHOULD REVERENCE THEIR HUSBANDS." Sara called her husband "Lord"! If you don't like this, get the hell out of here, because this is from the Bible!—Our Revolutionary Handbook! The only reason it hasn't caused a Revolution until now is because no one has followed it closely all the way!
36. MARRIAGE IS A SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP, OR ELSE YOU COULD SIMPLY HAVE STAYED GOOD FRIENDS! Marriage is a sharing of all things! It is the most satisfying, most strengthening, and most lasting relationship on this earth! You share the parts of your body as well as your thoughts! There must be something wrong with your communication with Jesus, or else you would love each other, even though you are married! You better go home and really show her that you love her‚ or we will hear about it! This is no namby-pamby church game! This is an Army! You say you love your husband—you may have to show it to me! So let's not hear anymore reports like this! Amen? God bless you!—Now, get it together—now!—Or else!
37. P.S. DON'T TELL US YOUR ASTROLOGICAL SIGNS AREN'T COMPATIBLE, EITHER! JESUS IS GREATER THAN YOUR SIGNS AND CAN OVERRULE ALL OF THAT---so don't get hung up on the Zodiac! The influence of the stars is a part of His physical Creation and can be completely overruled and overcome by the spiritual power of His Spirit, as the spirit in Daniel was found ten times better than that of the astrologers! We give you guys an inch and you take a mile! The Lord can't trust some of you with the least bit of freedom! Too much freedom can become bondage, like daily horoscopes! You'll do better reading your Bible than the star guide—that was only suggested as a supplement to help you understand God's natural Creation! "Look at the way He made us!" Hallelujah!
38. THE STARS OBVIOUSLY AFFECT OUR NATURAL PERSONALITIES AND EVEN SEEM TO INFLUENCE SOME EVENTS, but this is a purely natural part of God's physical Creation, like the sun and the moon and the planets influence our lives with heat, photosynthesis, plant life, light‚ the earth's orbit, tides, menstrual periods‚ etc. The astral bodies affect and influence the natural man and mind. They are God's system of controls of normal life and the balance of nature. They can even guide history unless the Lord overrules, but when people get to paying more attention to the Creation rather than the Creator, God condemns it. You‚ by your own natural efforts‚ can strengthen or weaken your natural traits, God–ordained by the stars, but only God can completely transform your personality in defiance of these natural influences. "Be not conformed to this world, but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind!" "Ye must be born again!" "Ye are new creatures in Christ Jesus!" A new birthday! PTL!
SPECIFICS—No.127:10-11
10. I HOPE NONE OF YOU LEADERS ARE CHOOSING MATES FOR YOUR PEOPLE yourselves, or you're apt to get blamed for it later! You matchmakers would like to get credit now, but just remember, you'll also get the blame later! A young person should have no one but themselves to blame for their marriage!
11. PERSONALLY‚ UNLESS THEY'RE MADLY IN LOVE‚ DESPERATELY IN NEED, OR NEED TO GET MARRIED FOR THE LORD'S WORK'S SAKE, OR FOR THE OTHER'S SAKE, I WOULD DISCOURAGE IT! And certainly, if they haven't got the guts to make their own decision! Some people like to have you make decisions for them so they won't have to put forth the effort in prayer and sober analysing of the situation, and do the hard work of making the decision, especially when later they might be blamed for it! But that's the price of making a decision!
PUBLIC RELATIONS—No.142:36
36. "WELL, UH ... ARE YOU MARRIED?"—Yes, I have a very sweet little wife whose name is Eve Shuhite! "What's her real name?"—Here we go again! Please, let's not start that all over again! I told you her name's Eve Shuhite and she's my wife, and what else do you need to know? "Do you have marriage license?"—What's a marriage license? "You know, a piece of paper from the authorities showing you're legally married!"—What's illegal about marriage?—Did Adam and Eve have one? God created them male and female and they had children! Did they have a marriage license?—And if so, who gave it to them, and who performed the ceremony? "Oh, you know what I mean! Things are different now! You gotta have a license nowadays to prove you're married!"—Oh, you do? That's funny! One of our ministers himself betrothed us and we've been living and sleeping together for a long time now, and we love each other a lot and we have children and everybody else thinks we're married! What makes you question it or ask me if I've got some little piece of paper to prove it? Don't you believe me? "I mean do you people believe in legal marriages—getting marriage licenses when you get married?"—Of course‚ we do! We're legally married by the Lord and our minister! I think my wife even has one of those little pieces of paper! You don't think we'd do anything illegal, do you! But how could that little piece of paper prove I'm married! Maybe after they gave us the paper I might have decided I didn't like her, after all, and maybe I never would have gone to bed with her because I couldn't sleep too good with somebody else! So how would the paper prove we were married! That little piece of paper doesn't prove a damned thing! It might even be a lie—if we never slept together, even if the minister performed the ceremony! You tell me something! What is marriage?—A piece of paper?—A wedding ceremony?—Or living together with someone you love and having children, a family, like Adam and Eve in the Garden! Isn't that what marriage really is? Damn right it is!
PERSONAL WORDS—No.147:18
18. WE USED TO POKE FUN AT WEDDINGS, BUT OUR BETROTHALS WERE USUALLY VERY SOBER occasions and a chance to impress on the couples the seriousness of marriage! I don't think much of these 30-second quickies! And how come you didn't at least give them the next morning off, you Slave Driver! I think our new couples ought to get at least a little three-day to one-week honeymoon to help them get adjusted to their new life. Haven't we got any honeymoon cottages where they can get away from it all for a few days?
READING, PINUPS, MISTAKES AND WORLD CONQUEST!—THRU LOVE!—No.151:53
53. MAYBE THIS IS WHAT'S WRONG WITH SOME OF YOUR MARRIAGES!—YOU DON'T REALLY LOVE EACH OTHER!—And if you don't, you don't have the love of God because His love can love anybody, even your enemies! Love begets love, and we love Him because He first loved us! Ask God to help you love them with His love which passeth all understanding! Love is not blind!—It has an extra spiritual eye which sees the good and possibilities that others cannot see! Ask God for His love for each other, or you'll never make it—as a marriage or a missionary! Only the love of Christ can constrain you!
THANKS AND COMMENTS—No.157:20
20. AND FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE WRITTEN ME ABOUT MARRIAGE, my answer is as usual, of course!—If:
SURVIVAL—No.172:157
157. THE CHILDREN OF GOD MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIP IS CONSIDERED VALID AND SACROSANCT and solemnised with the Holy vows of Biblical betrothal. Each couple is considered a team of co-workers for God's service, and the children are reared within the Colony and our own schools by their own mothers and fathers, nurses and teachers, in the true nurture and admonition of the Lord and His Word, as well as a knowledge of the history and sciences of the outside world.
LETTERS II—No. 52:8b-17
8. ... BEHIND EVERY GREAT MAN‚ THERE'S A GREAT LITTLE WOMAN WHO HELPS MAKE HIM THAT WAY‚ his helpmeet. And I've run into many secretaries in many years in the business world who knew more about the boss' business than he did. That's their job—details! He should only have to direct, advise, counsel, dictate, decide‚ supervise, inspire and create. She should take care of all the little details, help him read the mail, organise it for him, point out the important things, suggest what he might say, call his attention to needful items, and confer with him about it, make suggestions‚ but not actually tell him what to do, or act like she's the boss. This might be good advice for some of you wives, in how to handle your husbands, as well‚ because the situation is very similar. Every woman you have working for you is one of your helpmeets, and her glory is in her boss. She lives for his benefit, because it's the Lord's, and she loves Jesus, and her job is his job, because his job is Jesus'—not as unto man, but as unto the Lord! Hallelujah!
9. THEREFORE, A TIP TO YOU BOSSES' WIVES: DON'T BE JEALOUS OF HIS SECRETARY, because, if you really love him‚ you'll be thankful for her, and that she's such a help to him‚ and helps to make him what he is, to do what he's doing for the Lord!
10. THANK GOD FOR UNDERSTAND WIVES. They can be a tremendous asset to you bosses. God bless 'em,—because they know the boss needs more help than they can give him‚ to help carry his heavy load; so they shouldn't object to a few additional helpmeets—and the smart wives don't. That's how they keep their husbands! They understand the role of a secretary, and her absolute necessity in his business, especially, the Lord's Business; so if you love him, get him all the help he needs! Amen?
11. OF COURSE, IF YOU'D RATHER KILL YOURSELF TRYING TO DO EVERYTHING, including being an assistant director, wife, mother, cook, lover, secretary, file clerk, officer manager, stenographer, typist, playmate, companion, public relations officer, showpiece, decoration, and everything else, just to keep your husband from having a secretary, because you're so damn suspicious and jealous of him‚ and don't trust him, maybe you oughtta get yourself some other kind of a husband; either that, or you're going to work yourself to a frazzle trying to do every job in the Colony, just to keep the women away from him. If you can't trust him any more than that, you don't love him very much; and if you don't trust his women helpers anymore than that, you don't love them very much either—and if you all don't love the Lord more than that, so you can work together in peace‚ and love‚ and harmony, and understanding and cooperation, without the green-eyed monster of jealousy, envy‚ pride‚ sensitiveness, and petty bickering‚ slurring, insinuating‚ and dirty-digging coming between you and wrecking your service for the Lord, you don't deserve to be in it. If you haven't got enough love and sacrificial service and unselfishness for the Lord's Work Sake to call nothing your own, but everything the Lord's, even your husband, and having all things in common enough to share him with his secretary a few hours a day in their essential office together, you're not very Revolutionary‚ or very Early Christian, and you're certainly not going to help him get very much accomplished.
12. SO EVEN THE ATTITUDE OF YOU WIVES IS IMPORTANT TO THIS TASK OF THE MALE, I mean, m-a-i-l! Get me? Good for you. I love everyone of you, and I wouldn't have let you have him in the first place, if I hadn't. So let's keep sharing for Jesus! Amen?
13. SO ANOTHER THING THE MALE NEEDS, I mean m-a-i-l, is not only a good boss and a good secretary, but a good and understanding boss' wife—utterly devoted to her husband's work, and the Lord's Service, including his secretary. They should be the best of friends, good sisters in the Lord. This is very important, or it could wreck all of your relationships, including your relationship with the Lord! Amen.
14. MORE ABOUT SECRETARIES: Mine just said she should enjoy her work; it should be fun together! Of course, that's exactly what most wives are afraid of—that if might be too much fun. Maybe you better memorise the Thirteenth Chapter of 1Corinthians ... believe all things, hope all things, and take no account of evil. Love suffereth long, and is kind, vaunteth not itself, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil‚ beareth all things, endureth all things—or maybe you'd like to make a few exceptions. Think it over. If you want him to be a successful administrator for the Lord, you may have to take a lot. Thank God I've got that kind of a wife, and that's one of the reasons for my success for the Lord. She is the most sacrificial woman I know of‚ and is willing to pay any price for the Lord's service, and to see me succeed in it. She is a veritable saint! I wish you knew her like I do! It would inspire your heart, and make you ashamed of yourself, like it does me. God bless her. This work would never have been possible without her, and it would do some of you wives well to take note of her shining and glorious example—one of the most beautiful saints I know! Hallelujah!
15. MORE ON THE SUBJECT OF THE MAIL—the male, too—the boss, the director, the writer, the dictator. Without him there can be no mail. He must pray and ask God for wisdom in answering‚ for he must become all things to all those who write in, and ask God for wisdom for exactly what to say.
16. AND TO ADD SOME MORE TO THE SUBJECT OF SECRETARIES, which we'll never get through with, because they are the heart and soul of this ministry of the mail, as well as its eye‚ ears‚ tongue, and touch‚ not to speak of the sense they must have, to be able to smell‚ or discern by their God-given sense of intuition or instinct the various needs of their baby, the mail, and their other baby, the boss, and whatever may be necessary to fulfill the needs of both; a good secretary knows her boss' mind and heart and language and ways so well, she can even write a letter for him‚ just the way he would write it, like mine wrote that one you thought I wrote for the new babes. She has to be like part of him, and know exactly what he would think or say, or how he would do it, if he's not there; because she must many times represent him to others, be his public relations officer, defend him, protect him, explain him, and answer for him, and take all the blame in order to save him; to help bear his burdens, share his loads, encourage his faith, inspire his confidence, and even help him to believe in himself, to trust and know that God is using him, and to prove this to him when he's down, even when he feels like he's failed, and feels like quitting. She is his right hand, his girl Friday, and every other day in the week, at any hour of the day or night, whenever he needs her to get a job done. Her love for him and the Lord's Service knows no hours. She is willing to lay down her life for him, and the sheep, because he represents the Lord to her, and his work and life are hers; and he could not do without her. She is an absolute necessity, and one of the major secrets of his success as a leader, and without whom he could hardly amount to anything without her help. No leader in his right mind can say to this most important right-hand of all his members, sometimes both hands and both feet, "I have no need of thee"! Therefore, he must remember, since he can't get along without her, that he must give honour to this weaker vessel, be considerate and thoughtful of her, and not overwork her, if he can help it. He must realise her limitations, as well as her capacities‚ that nobody is perfect, and not scream when she makes a mistake, but remember that he, too, is but clay, a bit of dust in the hands of the Lord; and he, also, would be nothing without Jesus, even as she. All have sinned and come short of the glory of God‚ and there is none righteous‚ no, not one. All we like sheep, have gone astray; and you're no exception, Brother‚ so take it easy on your secretary‚ who is just like you,—your reflection—and see yourself in her. She'll probably do no better than you; although in some of your cases‚ I hope she does; but since you're her leader, and she's supposed to follow, whatever goes wrong is probably your fault. Since her sun‚ moon, and stars set in you, she probably won't exceed your light—so don't try to expect more of her than you do of yourself. Although to uphold you, and inspire confidence in your leadership, she may take the blame for your mistakes in public, privately, she of all people knows how human and weak you are, and loves you anyway, and tries to excuse you for your faults, even to yourself‚ and make you forgive yourself, so you can pick up and go on.
17. SHE'S THE EPITOME OF AN ANGEL, AS A LOVE-SLAVE TO THE LORD'S SERVICE. She does all the work, and gives you all the glory, and takes the blame for all your mistakes. That's one of the things good secretaries are for, to be a buffer for you—a shock absorber, to cushion you from the blows of others, to stand the gaff for you whenever she can, to cover for you: Love covereth a multitude of sins; her love, your sins. That's what good secretaries are made of. Sugar and spice and everything nice—even if her boss is frogs and snails, and puppy-dog tails, like every other little boy, she loves you anyway! She admires her hero, and laughs at her little boy—and loves them both the same! How about you wives?
LABOUR LEADERS—No.161:27
27. STILL OTHERS ARE HAVING SUCH SERIOUS MARRIAGE PROBLEMS that they are unable to give the work of God the attention it needs and first place in their lives and have proven unable to rule the Church, having been unable to rule their own houses well! This is absolutely unscriptural, to place a man in a position of Colony leadership who is unable to lead his own wife and family, and is just as dangerous as being a novice in a position of authority, which is also unscriptural and forbidden by the Word and disastrous to a Colony!
CHOICE—NO.238
1. IT MAY SURPRISE YOU TO KNOW THAT GOD LIKES YOU HIS CHILDREN TO MAKE YOUR OWN CHOICES within His will! I know you delight yourself in the Lord most of all and want to do His will. But when we do, it is His delight to also give us the desires of our own hearts because He's the one who puts them there when we're pleasing Him! If we love the Lord with all our hearts, these personal desires are usually the right ones, because we only want to please Him. So your personal desire in the matter has a great deal to do with God's will. He gives us what we want and have faith for!
2. BUT AS MY MOTHER USED TO SAY, "WHEN IN DOUBT, DON'T!" FOR AS HIS WORD SAYS, "WHATSOEVER IS NOT OF FAITH IS SIN." However, if you're truly convinced in your own heart that a thing is God's will, you should do it no matter what anybody says! But if you're convinced in your own heart that it is not God's will, you should not do it, no matter what anybody says! But if you're not sure and do not know for sure and have not yet made certain that a thing is God's will, then the best thing to do, of course‚ in the case of uncertainty, is to wait on the Lord until He reveals it to you one way or the other.
3. IN THE MEANTIME, DON'T LET ANYBODY ELSE TELL YOU THAT IT IS OF THE LORD AND OKAY TO GO AHEAD‚ or that it is His will that you do so, if He has not said so. Just say you're waiting on the Lord to know His will. Anything is possible‚ for with God nothing is impossible, for all things are possible to him that believeth. However, you must be personally sure and not be merely swayed by others. It must be your own personal desire from the Lord, in which case it would be of God. However, even if such should be the case, there could be many obstacles yet to hurdle, as you well know.
4. TIME IS THE GREAT TESTER, so I'd certainly advise you to wait until you're sure of your own mind and heart and God's will. As Paul says in that same 14th chapter of Romans: "Let every man be fully persuaded in his own mind." And I know He will show you. I do not believe in doing such things merely out of duty alone, particularly in the affairs of the heart, where there must be a great deal of genuine love‚ personal love, as well as love for God's work, and not just a sense of duty. If it's God's will, He gives us this kind of love, real love. But without such love it could only bring heartache, and many people could get hurt, including yourself. But if it is real love‚ God's love‚ it will survive anything. Meanwhile, I would wait on the Lord until you're sure!
5. IN CHOOSING A MATE‚ God knows they may need help, a helper, companion, comforter, encourager, inspirer, and example—the kind of genuine helpmeet that every leader needs and God designs for His own. It could be possible that you have both found the will of God in the first place, considering how things have turned out. But if not, it is possible that you both may miss it due to the ill advice and mistakes of others or one of you. Or if you do not really love each other you may be only making another and greater mistake to marry!
6. TWO WRONGS DON'T MAKE A RIGHT, BUT NEITHER DO TWO RIGHTS MAKE A WRONG, SO IT MUST BE UP TO YOU PERSONALLY TO MAKE YOUR OWN CHOICE. Just be sure you do not let it be made for you by someone else. For both I and the Lord love you very dearly as one of my own children in the Lord, and I would not want you to be hurt. The one in question may be a hard taskmaster and might not be easy to live with unless you love him greatly. But if you do, nothing short of this will ever satisfy you, if this is God's will. But you personally must make the choice, and the decision is up to you and you alone. No one else can make it for you, not even God!
7. THIS IS ONE OF THE MYSTERIES OF HIS WILL AND HIS PLAN: That He hath bestowed upon each of us the immortal majesty of personal choice to do either good or evil!—And strange as it may seem to some‚ it even pleases the Lord to give us our personal choice between several alternative goods, all within His will, if it is our personal desire, even as we would our own children in letting them pick out their own personal choice of a toy, or an outing, or a pleasure as long as it is safe and good for them. This is one thing people don't seem to understand about God: He really likes to give us our choice, even as we do our own children, as long as it is not something bad for us, or bad for others.
8. IF YOUR CHOICE HAS CERTAINLY NOT SEEMED TO WORK OUT WELL, it could be that you made a mistake at that time and let others choose for you. Don't let that happen again. This time make your own choice. God will give you whatever you want that's good for you, because He loves you, and "No good thing will He withhold from them that walk uprightly." If it is good for you and those involved, He will be more than glad to give it to you.—Although sometimes He gives us the desires of our hearts but sends leanness to our souls just to teach us a lesson and to show us that we made a foolish choice.
9. SO, CONTRARY TO POPULAR OPINION, GOD DOES NOT USUALLY CHOOSE FOR US!—We have to choose for ourselves, find His will for ourselves, seek Him diligently to know His will, and to know what is best for us and others through our knowledge of His Word and personal experience. This is why He put us here, this is what we're here to learn, and the major part of our training: How to make the right decisions through our personal contact with Him, our knowledge of His word and His will, and our love for Him and others. We must do what we know is right, and be willing to live and die for what we know is the truth!
10. BUT AS HE SAYS, "LET EVERY MAN BE FULLY PERSUADED IN HIS OWN MIND." BE SURE YOU'RE RIGHT, AND YOU KNOW YOU'RE RIGHT.—THEN GO AHEAD and do what you know is right, no matter what anybody says, and not because anyone has said it, but because you yourself are personally convinced it's God's will, have established it in the mouth of many witnesses, and confirmed it through many leadings, signs and other fruits and evidence, as indicated in the lesson "How to Find the Will of God." Study it, follow it. It is His guiding Word to you to help you know what's best. He likes you to seek it out and find it, so you yourself will know it's right when you do it without a doubt!
11. UNTIL THEN, DON'T! AS LONG AS YOU'RE STILL IN DOUBT, DON'T LET ANYONE ELSE PERSUADE YOU one way or the other. When you have made your own choice‚ I and the Lord will stand with you in it no matter what‚ because we love you and know you love us and are trying to do what is right and good for us all. (Prophecy: These words are the kisses of the love of David!)
12. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR FAITHFUL CARE FOR HIS CHILDREN. Surely God must think you worthy to give you such a priceless privilege to be a member of His Family, and we are trusting you to do your best. Think of your own children or family. Think how you love them, and how you like to make them happy, as well as keep them safe and healthy, as long as they love you and delight themselves in obedience to your word‚ even giving them the choice of many things that are good for them.—And remember that God is like that with you! That's what He wants you to do and to have, to give you the desires of your heart, as long as you delight yourself in Him! But they must be the desires of your heart and not merely someone else's—your choice and not only another's.
13. MAY GOD BLESS AND KEEP YOU AND CONTINUE TO MAKE YOU A GREAT BLESSING AND GIVE YOU EVERY DESIRE OF YOUR HEART AS YOU DELIGHT YOURSELF IN HIM and His love and serving His children! We love you dearly and are praying earnestly for you‚ that you will know your choice is in His will. Please keep in touch and let us know how you're getting along and if there's anything else you need with which we could help. Just say a word to one of my little birdies and it will fly speedily to the ear of the king!—Or write me a note—or, best of all, pray and ask the Lord! You have my ear and my heart and I love you, and am concerned about you, so please let me know how you feel.
14. THANKS FOR YOUR FAITHFULNESS AND LOYALTY despite many heavy trials and battles for your young years! Surely He's growing you up fast and to great responsibility in the tremendous job we have yet to do! May you invest your talents well and reap great reward!—Hallelujah!—Whatever you choose to do! Please forgive me if we cannot always answer you personally. But you can be sure we make all your requests known unto Him, and we know He will reply! Hallelujah! We've written the above counsel of God so you would better understand what He's trying to do with everyone concerned.
15. THE DOOR IS NOW OPEN!—WALK IN where you will, by your own free and loving choice!—It is His delight to give it to you! Fear not, little one, it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the Kingdom! You are more than welcome in the King's household in whatever capacity you choose! I too will be delighted in your choice. The messenger who bears you this missive is enjoined to give you a royal kiss and hug from the King! You are his favorite children and he's been following your progress closely for a long time, and is so happy that you feel free to communicate with him personally in time of need! In Jesus' name, amen! Your will be done in Him: That's what He and I want to know!—That you're making your own personal choice in the matter! God bless you! With all my love, amen!—Your father in the Lord‚—Your MO.