KEYWORDS: lord, things, well, time, something

Fight Discouragement

David Berg

—PRAY & Read the WORD!DFO 1376Portugal, 7/2/82

—"The Fruit of the Righteous Is a Tree of Life!"

—Fellowship Day Lunch!

1. YOU'RE ALL PREACHERS & EVANGELISTS & MISSIONARIES & someday you might be out on the mission field somewhere where you've got to lead your own sheep & your own flock & your own meetings & everything, so I'm trying to give you a little experience. This is a school, it's a pastor's training school.—Missionary training school, I like that better. That's why I prefer to use the name "shepherds" to remind you of what you're really supposed to do.

2. SO I'M JUST TRYING TO TEACH YOU HOW TO PRAY! Even the disciples said‚ "Lord‚ teach us to pray!" (Lk.11:1) Maybe we should give the person who leads our Communion & our evening meeting a little advance notice maybe & decide now who's supposed to be next. I'd just like to go over there & sit on the couch & listen to you guys, how you usually conduct a meeting. I want to know what goes on in these Homes, anyhow, what do they do? What do they do when they have a meeting? (Maria: They listen to your tapes! Ha!) Well, I've been watching their meetings on video & they do pretty good there! Some of them do a little preaching & testifying & singing.

3. WHAT IF YOU WERE CHOSEN BY THE PROGRAM COMMITTEE AT YOUR LAF TO LEAD THE EVENING COMMUNION? Somebody's got to do it! It can't always be the LAS necessarily. Or even in your Home. What would you do then? If they said, "We'd like to have you lead the evening meeting or at least be the MC or at least plan the program." What are you going to do? You don't want to just mess it up & louse it up & just kind of let it happen like I do! You'd want to have something a little better organised than that! With me, once I start talking, nobody else ever has a chance!

4. WHAT SHOULD YOU HAVE AT A FELLOWSHIP DAY MEETING? How do you start a meeting? (Sara: "Enter into His gates with thanksgiving & into His courts with praise!") (Ps.100:4) Excellent, Honey, GBY! That gal really knows her stuff! I can tell she's used to leading meetings. And there's another, something Paul said. (Sara: "Singing Psalms & spiritual songs"?) Yes, that's one thing. And he was talking about prayer & he said to begin with thanksgiving, giving thanks for all things & so on. Do you remember the exact Scripture?—Giving thanks, letting your requests be made known to God, etc. (Ph.4:6)

5. ANYHOW, YOU SHOULD START OFF WITH PRAISE & THANKSGIVING, PRAISING THE LORD, AMEN? If you don't thank Him for the blessings He's already given you, He's not going to feel much like answering your prayers to give you something else you want! If you haven't even been thankful, you haven't been grateful‚ you went away like the other nine lepers & forgot to come back & thank Him!

6. HOW MANY TIMES DO WE PRAY FOR THINGS & THEN THE LORD GIVES THEM TO US & WE JUST TAKE IT FOR GRANTED & we really aren't as specific in giving thanks for specific things that we have prayed for, just like we expect to get specific with God in the things we want. We teach our children to say thank you, don't we‚ every time that we give them something or somebody hands them something? We should be just that specific with the Lord in thanking Him for specific things.

7. WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING & you have your morning cuddle with your mate, or whoever, one of the children maybe or someone, what do you do first thing in the morning? (Family: Praise & thank Him.) Yes, that's what we do, don't we? And pray for the day too. What's the last thing we do at night? We thank Him for a good day & we pray for a good night etc. You should always pray together as you go to bed, praise & pray together.

8. SO I THINK THAT IS A GOOD PART OF YOUR PRAISE MEETING WHEN YOU'VE SUNG A FEW SONGS IN THE SPIRIT & PRAISED THE LORD, & what do you think should come next? (Family: After praise‚ songs?) Well‚ songs are part of your praises. You praise the Lord all the time, you praise the Lord & sing & praise the Lord & sing etc. It's all praise. (Family: Testimonies.) Very good, Dear. When you're in a thankful mood & feeling good in the Spirit & thinking about how good the Lord is to you, it's a good time to remember something special He has been particularly good to you about that will encourage others & make them thankful too with you & rejoice with you & thank the Lord with you for something He did for you.

9. I'VE GOT A SPECIAL TESTIMONY TODAY‚ HOW THE LORD WAS REAL GOOD TO ME THIS MORNING TO GIVE ME SOMETHING. I was saying awhile ago that the Lord gave something for me this morning, & He chided me afterwards: "Not only for you but for their encouragement too!" I think morning must be one of my low spots of the day‚ when I get up in the morning sometimes. I used to call it "life's darkest hour." No matter when it was, it seemed to be tough to have to get up. But it's not so hard anymore because I don't sleep as much & I really look forward to seeing the sunrise nowadays. I really feel like I've missed something when I don't get up to see the sunrise.

10. HOW MANY OF YOU SAW THE SUNRISE TODAY? You did? Well, I was trying to catch you because the sun didn't rise today! Well, you could see the dawn, you saw it get light, but you never actually saw the sun, did you? Because it was so cloudy you couldn't actually see the sun! But the dawn was beautiful nevertheless. I kind of look forward now to morning, especially after a long night. There used to be an old Negro song: "Lord, the days are wonderful, but You made the nights too long!" That's kind of a complaint I always thought, but I can sort of understand what he meant now.

11. BECAUSE AS YOU GET OLDER YOU DON'T SLEEP QUITE AS SOUNDLY. You don't need so much sleep, is why you don't sleep so much, because you don't work as hard. You're not as energetic as these children, you don't play as hard & work as hard. Most of my work is just mental or spiritual. My eyes work hard reading. I've already done 35 pages today, & I did 80 pages yesterday, so I have to do a lot of reading & editing etc.

12. I DON'T KNOW WHAT GOT ME OFF ON THAT GRUMBLING! Oh, I know what it was! I was thinking that maybe I drank a little too much last night & Maria as good as told me I was just plain drunk & I went to sleep on the couch with Dora or something! (Maria: Honey, I didn't say that!) You didn't say that, but you almost as good as told me that. (Maria: I said you went to sleep with Dora & you were talking in your sleep. I said you were real restless last night.) She didn't say I was drunk, but that was the gentle hint, I figured that's what she meant. (Maria: You hardly ever get drunk!)

13. WELL ANYWAY, I WAS THINKING, LORD, THAT'S A TERRIBLE TESTIMONY! I drank too much & I didn't even know I was talking or mumbling or muttering in my beard! The Bible says to beware of the wizards that peep & mutter! (Isa.8:19) But sometimes I've really gotten some things that way! That's the way some of those things came‚ like the "South African Revelation" about the Boers. (No.1030) That's why it's so hard to hear. Maria's one of the few people that can interpret it. God has really given her the gift of interpretation because of my mumbling & muttering & talking—not out loud in my sleep—I'm almost whispering in my sleep. So many of those things come that way & I don't even know about them till the next morning when she tells me.

14. WELL ANYHOW, I WAS THINKING ABOUT HOW MUCH SEX I ALWAYS HAVE TO HAVE & the girls work so hard to give it to me & I had about two or three last night, at least two, & I was on my way to the third when I went to sleep! You can be thankful for that‚ Sara! Boy, the Devil really started talking to me: "What a guy you are! You old drunk lying there drunk & having to have all that sex! You can't even go through a meeting or watch a video without having to have so much sex & loving the girls & having the girls love you!" He just was handing me a real line about how terrible I was, how awful I was & how terrible some of these new people must think I am. "Oh, you're just a real old rascal, nasty old man, an old rotter!"

15. AND I THOUGHT ABOUT MY MOTHER, "OH MY, WHAT WOULD MY MOTHER THINK? Tsk tsk!" And then I said, "Well, Lord, how come You let me be this way that I'm so sexy & have to have so much sex & sometimes I drink too much & sometimes I'm mean to Maria & speak bad to her or scold her or get impatient with her or disagree with her, falsely accuse her." I didn't really say that you said I was drunk...(Maria: I didn't even intimate that you were drunk at all!) Well‚ that's the impression I got anyhow. See how the Devil twists things & gives you impressions like that?

16. AND I THOUGHT, "OH BOY, WHAT A MESS I AM! How did I ever get this way? How did I ever manage to do anything for the Lord?" And the Devil was certainly agreeing with me: "You are a mess! You are terrible! You're just practically almost downright wicked!" I think he went a little too far on that one because that sort of woke me up!

17. I SAID, "NOW LORD, MY MOTHER WAS SUCH A GOOD WOMAN‚ A REALLY RIGHTEOUS WOMAN! How could she have had such a wicked son?" I mean, in church terminology & according to a lot of church people & a lot of our ex-friends & never-friends, I am pretty bad. Sometimes the Devil works on that track, & he says: "Well, maybe they're right! Maybe you are bad & maybe what they say is true!" He really can hand you a line sometimes! So I said, "Well, how come, Lord, You let me be so awful when my Mother was such a good woman & such a righteous woman?" And I was sort of looking up in prayer.

18. I WAS SITTING THERE MAKING MY COFFEE, STIRRING IT GLUMLY & LOOKING AT MYSELF IN THE MIRROR—that's enough to discourage almost anybody, to look at yourself in the mirror—& saying, "Lord, how could You have made me be such a mess & do so many wrong things & make so many mistakes & in the eyes of some people I'm downright wicked?" And then I sort of looked up when I thought about my Mother.

19. I SAID, "MOTHER, YOU WERE SUCH A GOOD WOMAN, a righteous woman‚ how could you have such a bad son?" I don't know, the Devil really must have been trying to defeat the nice victory I'd gotten from reading all those beautiful FNs & all the glowing testimonies of the Family around the World‚ so he was just trying to knock that all out of my head. Don't you ever get discouraged with yourself at all?

20. MY MOTHER USED TO SAY THAT THE DEVIL'S FAVOURITE TOOL WITH CHRISTIANS IS DISCOURAGEMENT! That's his favourite tool to get you looking at yourself & worrying about yourself, introspection.—Looking at your own mistakes & sins & weaknesses & failures & to look at yourself & see what a mess you are. There was an old hymn or an old poem that used to go something about: "I looked at myself & abhorred the sight, but then I looked at Him," etc.

21. THE LORD DOESN'T SAY TO LOOK AT YOURSELF, HE SAYS "LOOKING UNTO JESUS THE AUTHOR & THE FINISHER OF OUR FAITH!" (He.12:2) He doesn't say to look at the waves either, & all the problems & the troubles, He told Peter to "look at Me!" But Peter got a little worried & started looking down at the water & wondering how in the World he was managing to walk on the water, took his eyes off the Lord & began to sink! The Lord had to grab him by the hand to save him. (Mt.14:29-31)

22. WELL, DO YOU EVER GET DISCOURAGED? The Devil's favourite instrument, his favourite tool or weapon is to try to discourage you, & the way he does it is, first of all he gets you looking at yourself & your mistakes & your shortcomings & your weaknesses & your failures & your sins, everything bad he can say about you & make you think about. And once you start looking at yourself, of course, there's no end to that‚ because we ARE a mess, every one of us! "There's none righteous, no not one. All have sinned & come short of the glory of God. The heart of Man is sinful & wicked, who can know it?" (Rom.3:10,23; Jer.17:9)

23. SOME PEOPLE USED TO CONDEMN SEX BY QUOTING THE SCRIPTURE: "I WAS BORN IN SIN & IN SIN DID MY MOTHER CONCEIVE ME!" (Ps.51:5) Well, if you know anything about David's mother & some of those people you might have known why he said that. The Lord was not saying that sex was a sin! He'd have to be saying that conception was a sin when He was the One that ordained it! He just meant that his mother was a sinner like everybody else, that's all! He was conceived in sin, he was in sin, in a sense‚ when he was conceived, because he was born into sinful mankind.

24. WE BELIEVE IN WHAT'S KNOWN AS ORIGINAL SIN. Of course, the original sin was Adam's. Did you ever hear of original sin? I think the Catholics are strong on that, aren't they, & they practise it too! Like the old Baptist & the old Methodist were having an argument about Eternal Security & the Methodist was getting real het-up about it. The Baptist said, "Well, I believe in Eternal Security. I believe once saved, always saved, & no matter what I do I'm still saved!" And the Methodist got so mad, he said, "Well, I want to tell you, we Methodists believe in backsliding & we practise it too!"—Ha! So, PTL!

25. I DISCOVERED SOMETHING ABOUT THIS GRASS OUT HERE‚ BY THE WAY. The Lord is wonderful to give you some of the simplest little answers sometimes. I've been getting a terrible itch & rash on my legs from my ankles up almost to my knees. The worst rash was around my ankles & it gradually tapered off & didn't go above my knees. And my skin would just itch & itch & itch—not exactly a rash but by the time I scratched enough it would get to be a rash! Ever since I've been here I've been having this problem. And sometimes it just nearly drove me crazy till I just really scratched my skin raw! I've still got the scars! You should have seen it when I had it, I was really scratching the skin off!

26. MARIA SAID, "IT'S PROBABLY SOMETHING IN YOUR DIET, maybe you're not eating the right things." She always goes back to the diet & the vitamins & the herbs & the natural remedies & it's gotta be something in your diet. And I thought to myself—I didn't want to tell her—"Well‚ maybe I'm just getting to be an old wino & I'm getting wine sores!" You know those winos down on Skid Row, they don't get the proper diet, they just live on wine & they develop what they call wine sores. I think it's actually a form of scurvy from lack of proper food, lack of fruits, vegetables & other things that they need, & they just develop these sores. I thought, "My Lord, I'm such an old wino anyhow, maybe I'm getting wine sores, maybe that's what this is!"

27. I WAS JUST NEARLY SCRATCHING MY LEGS RAW! I'd scratch them in the night even when I didn't know it, until they'd bleed, & it got so bad I was just really getting worried about it! I had Maria pray for'm & I prayed for'm & I'd bathe them in alcohol & even tried smearing Cuatroderm salve on it & everything, & it would help for just a little while & then next day be back again. I thought, "Maybe I don't take enough baths, maybe I should wash them a little more" etc. So I started washing my feet & my legs more frequently.

28. I HADN'T BEEN WASHING MY FEET OR MY LEGS IN THE COLD WEATHER AS OFTEN AS USUAL, so I started washing my feet & my lower legs almost every day. It would seem to help for a few hours but then later, especially after my walks‚ I would come home & by evening‚ or even as soon as I got in from the walk, my legs would just be on fire! Well, we prayed & we thought of everything. I don't know whether you noticed or not but I've cut down on my wine, so it's not wine sores. And it wasn't diet, I think I have a pretty good diet & all those things.

29. MARIA SAID, "WELL, IT MUST BE SOME VITAMIN THAT YOU'RE NOT GETTING OR SOMETHING, YOU NEED TO TAKE SOME VITAMINS!" Well, she never could persuade me to take vitamins. She takes'm by the handful!—I can't even swallow one! For one thing, they choke me, & besides, I just never cared for pills. I don't like'm. I always had a hard time swallowing them since I was a little kid. I think I nearly choked on some of those aspirin or pills my mother gave me & I think I was almost scared to ever take'm. So if that was it, I figured I never would get healed if I had to take vitamins, because I just don't like'm & I figure I don't need'm!

30. BUT MY LEGS ONE NIGHT WERE SO SCRATCHED UP & SUCH A MESS that they were even hurting me during the night just rubbin' on the sheets! You know, when you get a cut or sore or something‚ just rubbin' on the sheets sometimes bothers you. I'm saying this for your benefit in case you have noticed it, because maybe somebody else might have it, or maybe I'm just the tenderfoot or the tender skin that I'm the only one it bothered. But I was wondering when David had his little skin trouble if that had anything to do with it.

31. I REALLY FINALLY GOT DESPERATE! You know, it's come to that, we really had to trust the Lord! It has to get pretty bad sometimes when it comes to that where you have to really trust the Lord. Remember the "HMS Show," the old joke? The lady that was worried about the storm said‚ "What are we going to do?" And the Captain said, "I guess we'll just have to trust the Lord!"—And she exclaimed, "My God, has it come to that!" That's the way some people feel about trusting God, that's the last resort. They'll try everything else first! I hope I'm not breaking your necks by your having to crane around to look at me. First preacher that ever sat at the back of the congregation! Well‚ I wasn't planning on preaching! But it's Fellowship Day & I'm having fellowship sitting here in the back of your meeting.

32. I WAS JUST GOING TO START OFF & TELL YOU THE SCRIPTURE I GOT THIS MORNING WHEN I GOT SO DISCOURAGED. This is a good pointer for you to know, because this was a revelation. I got desperate that night praying about my legs & why they were getting so itchy. I thought, "My God, I've heard about old people that began to get sores on their lower legs from poor circulation." We saw some videos in France about these old people with sores all over their legs & how they were using this new method of applying some new ointment almost like a new skin etc. & what miracles it was doing. Also using pepsin—not from Pepsi Colas but from the papayas—& how doctors in Britain were getting miracle healings by laying raw papaya slabs on the sores‚ etc. Some doctor had been in the jungles during the war or something & the natives had laid that on the wounds & sores & they'd just heal up right away. Just like in the Bible the king was told by the prophet to put open raw figs on his boils & it drew the poison out & healed it right away. (2Kg.20:7)

33. WELL, IT CAME TO THAT, I FINALLY HAD TO TRUST THE LORD! I had to finally get really desperate in prayer & ask the Lord, "Lord, what is wrong with my legs?" And you talk about amazing things! Why should He talk to you in language or in words? Usually the times He talks to you in words are when He quotes Scriptures to you. He gives you the Word, that's when He really uses the words, like I got this morning. But this was a couple of weeks ago or more now. And as you can see, my legs are completely clean & healed up & I haven't had a bit of trouble since, because I got this answer from the Lord. Believe it or not, if it's something you want to know‚ He can just show you a picture like He showed me this morning when I got that other revelation.

34. I SUDDENLY SAW THE LAWN OUT HERE, THE GRASS, & THEN I SAW A PICTURE OF THAT SPRAY CAN HANGING DOWN IN THE GARAGE! There is some kind of chemical spray which apparently the gardener has used on the lawn. It's probably a bug spray, because this kind of grass, called St. Augustine grass, they use it a lot in Florida because it is one of the toughest kinds of grass there is & will grow under almost any conditions, wet or dry, terribly hot sun, anything. Except one thing, there's a certain kind of bug that gets into it & it will develop these brown patches that grow & grow & grow until the whole lawn is almost destroyed.

35. I DON'T KNOW THAT ANY OTHER KIND OF GRASS IS AFFECTED BY THAT BUG‚ but if you ever noticed, the St. Augustine grass does not grow like other grass from a lot of tiny little seeds or anything, they usually sod it. They even found it out in the swamps, the Everglades, growing wild in Florida in big stretches, & they've had special companies that go out there & do what they call "cut sod." They would cut a big hunk of the lawn about 18 inches long & about a foot wide & they'd cut it down about four inches deep, with enough soil on the bottom of it that they didn't disturb the roots of the grass, & they'd stack that on trucks. Did you ever see a sod truck loaded with sod?

36. THEY COULD HAVE YOU A LAWN IN JUST ONE DAY! They'd come out there & prepare the surface of the ground, clean off every weed & everything else, leaving just raw topsoil, & come in & just lay sod like tile over the whole lawn! That's the way they did it in Florida, maybe in Texas too. And they usually use this kind of grass called St. Augustine grass because it's very tough, & you don't disturb the root system because it has very shallow roots. In fact, it has runners, long stems that grow right along the top of the ground & put down adventitious roots at about every little section, sort of little knobs. And it grows like palm fronds. Have you noticed little fronds like a fern? Maybe you haven't inspected it that close, I don't know. Maybe you're not interested in gardening & all these things I'm telling you & you're probably getting bored & sleepy!

37. BUT ANYWAY‚ I SAW A PICTURE OF THIS LAWN & I SAW A PICTURE OF THAT CAN. I think it's even red or it's green, probably red. It was the other day, maybe it's not there now‚ but it had a little hose attached to it & I noticed it up there & I think I remember thinking at the time I'd seen a can there before & I know it was some kind of lawn or plant spray. They usually use it to kill the bugs & keep the bugs off the grass or plants, a residual spray of some kind.

38. AND IT JUST DAWNED ON ME THAT APPARENTLY MY LEGS ARE ALLERGIC TO THAT CHEMICAL, WHATEVER IT IS! And every day the first duty of my get-out was to patrol the grounds here & I would walk all the way around the edge of the lawn looking around, looking at the plants, looking at things to see how they were. I'd walk all the way around the wall clear down to the end of the yard & back again, on the grass all the way.

39. APPARENTLY THAT SPRAY HAD LEFT SOME KIND OF RESIDUE WHICH THE BUGS DIDN'T LIKE, BUT MY SKIN DIDN'T LIKE IT EITHER! And in just treading through the grass, evidently the dust of it was so fine or virtually so microscopic it was even invisible & had seeped through my socks—especially around my ankles. That's what mystified me, how come it was always worse right around my ankles & then it got lighter as it went up my leg & stopped before it got to my knees? Well, wading through that grass, my ankles were really getting a dose of that chemical, whatever it was, & then it gradually sifted up my leg. Evidently that, & then the moisture of perspiration apparently activated it. It was probably inactive as long as it was dry, but getting inside my sock with sweat did it.

40. AND WE REALLY WALKED! I came back today & had to change my shirt & sweater & everything! Both sweaters were soaked because we had really walked briskly, & in wet weather the perspiration doesn't evaporate, it doesn't dry, it just stays there. My head was soppin' wet & my body was soaked with perspiration, because we really walk when we walk. We walked all the way down & around & climbed back up the hill, 2-3/4 kilometres on our walk today, that's nearly two miles. And if you walk it briskly & you climb hard, you'll work up a sweat, & I was soaking wet & I had to take off all my clothes & put on dry clothes.

41. WELL, NEARLY EVERY DAY‚ FEET INSIDE OF SHOES GET SWEATY. Now why my feet didn't get it‚ I don't know. Maybe it's because they were so tightly enclosed in shoes so that my feet were sealed. I really lace my shoes tight because loose shoes can make you stumble or turn your ankle or something. I learned that in mountain climbing a long time ago. You've got to have them really laced tight, & there are a lot of rocky roads around here.

42. SO I GUESS MY FEET WERE SEALED AIR-TIGHT, dust-tight & the stuff couldn't sift down into my shoes. But it sifted through my socks onto my ankles & my legs & the perspiration apparently had activated it until I would come back almost every time & I could hardly wait to get my socks off, my legs & ankles itched so! And I kept saying to Maria, "I could understand if we'd walked through some poison oak or poison ivy or been through any weeds"—lots of weeds give off spores that will cause irritation of the skin—"but we haven't been walking through any weeds at all! We haven't been doing anything but walk across the lawn!"

43. I EVEN SAID THIS TO HER ONCE, "I WONDER IF THIS KIND OF GRASS COULD GIVE OFF ANY KIND OF SPORES OR IRRITANT LIKE POISON IVY OR POISON OAK?" Boy, am I allergic to those things! I used to have cases of that stuff when I was a kid, it was pitiful! Because in Tropical countries they've got a lot of poison ivy. And of course they have it in temperate climates too & in some of the dry countries like California & Arizona.

44. POISON IVY IS JUST A LITTLE PLANT ABOUT SO HIGH & you always know it because it's got three leaves on each stem. And the leaves are the prettiest colours you ever saw‚ nice little green leaves all mottled with red & yellow & little bumps—just like your skin gets when you brush against it! You can get one helluva rash from poison ivy! I used to get it all over my legs & ankles.

45. BUT POISON OAK IS ALMOST WORSE! You know what it looks like? Well, it's a bush & usually a vine. Maybe that's why they call it poison oak, because it climbs up the oak trees‚ or is it an oak? I don't see how it could be an oak. And if it hasn't got a tree to wind up, it will grow into sort of a droopy bush like vines will do if they don't have anything to climb on. But if it's got a tree it will wind up the tree.

46. AND OF COURSE I, BEING A LITTLE BOY, LOVED TO WIND UP TREES TOO along with the poison oak—till I learned my lesson!—That those nice beautifully coloured leaves of the poison oak, they do the same thing but not quite as vividly as the poison ivy—they turn nice pretty colours, sort of red & yellow as well as green. The fresh young tender leaves are green but as they grow older they get red & yellow.—And, oh, poison as they can be! I'll never forget one of the worst cases I ever got was in my crotch!

47. I WAS GOING THROUGH THE WOODS & CLIMBING THROUGH THESE BUSHES, pushing these bushes aside with my bare hands, & at that time in California I'd had no experience with poison oak before at all. I didn't know what it was or I would have recognised it. Poison oak, instead of three leaves on each little stem has five, right? Of course there are a lot of other weeds that have five leaves & three leaves too. But it has a special kind of a long leaf, almost as long as my fingers, & five on each little stem.

48. I THINK THE LORD MUST HAVE BEEN GIVING ME REVELATIONS THEN & I DIDN'T REALISE IT. I was a teenager then in high school & whew, sitting in those seats all day I could have nearly screamed sometimes! In fact, I finally got such a bad case of it‚ it spread. Either one of them will spread. You break those little tiny bumps like little blisters & the fluid is the same kind of poison that the poison ivy & the poison oak has, & everywhere that goes it spreads. I finally had to quit school for two weeks in my last year in high school I got such a bad case of it.

49. I'D BEEN WALKING THROUGH THE WOODS THERE IN NORTHERN CALIFORNIA AROUND MONTEREY. I loved to hike over the hills & walk through the woods all my life. And I really prayed about it: "Lord, how did I ever get it in my crotch? What an embarrassing place to have it!" And one of the best cures for either one is to leave it open & exposed to the air. To wash & use calamine lotion helps—a kind of a salve that spreads on & hardens like mud, sort of cakes, & this does something to it, sort of dries it up.

50. LIKE THE FELLA SAID, "WITHOUT MEDICATION IT WILL CLEAR UP IN ABOUT TWO WEEKS, BUT WITH CALAMINE LOTION IT ONLY LASTS 14 DAYS!" Which do you think is best, David? The two weeks or 14 days? You'll have to answer that when you get back with Sara. (David: Two weeks is 14 days.) That's the joke, get it? If you leave it alone it only lasts two weeks. If you put medicine on it it only lasts 14 days. In other words, whether you doctor it or not, it has to run its course.

51. SO I ASKED THE LORD‚ "WELL, HOW DID I GET IT DOWN IN MY CROTCH, OF ALL THINGS?" Of course, the spores will drift, that's true. The spores are a little kind of a fine mist, they're so small they're invisible, you can't even see'm. Little tiny pieces of the plant sort of like a little spray or dust, that would be a good way to put it. They're so small you can't see'm, but when you walk through the weeds you brush them off & they get on your skin & they cause this rash. It's really poisonous. It's not serious, it won't kill you, but you think it's going to kill you with the itch! It itches so bad!

52. I HAD CASES WHEN I WAS A KID HIS AGE SO BAD THAT I SCRATCHED MYSELF BLOODY IN THE NIGHT when I was asleep & I'd wake up & the sheet was soaked with blood! Every night they had to tie my hands to each side of the bed, I had to sleep like I was crucified, so I wouldn't scratch myself bloody while I was asleep! Oh boy, I don't ever want another case of poison oak or ivy either one, that's the awfulest stuff!

53. BUT IT'S A STRANGE THING, ONCE YOU'VE HAD A GOOD DOSE OF IT, IT SOMETIMES WILL COME BACK IN HOT WEATHER anywhere you perspire a lot, around your ankles or even your crotch sometimes, & it'll sort of recur for seven years. So the old saying about the "seven year itch" is not just an old saying! And I would crop out with it in hot Florida, you know, where you sweat a lot, anyplace where you had to wear tight clothing at all. Usually I had to wear shoes & socks to school, of all things, & it would often pop up again on my ankles where I used to have it. For seven years, & then I never had it again.

54. AND AFTER I HAD THAT POISON OAK‚ THAT THING USED TO CROP OUT EVERY NOW & THEN FOR SEVERAL YEARS, & then you seem to develop a resistance to it & it doesn't bother you as much anymore. I'm not going to touch any poison ivy & I'm not going to wade through it or climb trees with poison ivy vine on'm just to find out if I'm still inured to it or impervious to it, but after that I never had it anymore. I still took lots of walks in the woods but after that I found out what it was & I avoided it.

55. BUT WHILE I WAS OUT IN THE WOODS THAT DAY I HAD TO GO TO THE TOILET & I apparently already had it all over my hands. And I went to the toilet‚ you know, as boys do. As Techi said, "Daddy, why do you sit down to go to the toilet?" I don't know, maybe because of that experience I had I'm afraid to touch it! That's a joke! Sometimes I sit down to go to the toilet just because I don't want to get myself all splashed, sometimes because I'm tired, sometimes because I'm reading, but most of the time it's because I'm having a BM! Don't you sit down to have a BM?

56. ABOUT THE ONLY TIME SHE'S EVER SEEN ME USING THE TOILET IS IN THE MORNING, she always used to come in when I was having my BM in France or down in South Africa. She was often running in when I was on the toilet, so I guess she figured that's the only way I ever went to the toilet! (Sara: Techi asked David why he was standing & his answer wasn't good enough‚ he said, "Boys always stand up to go potty!" And she said, "Grandpa doesn't stand up to go potty!")

57. WELL, I HAVEN'T SEEN ANYBODY HAVE A BM YET UNLESS THEY SAT DOWN! If you did, you must have had a sad case like the guy next to me on the bus in Mexico. I don't think I ever had such a horrible experience! Poor old Mexican, he had the runs & it was running down his leg right while he was standing there in the bus. I was sitting in the seat & he was standing there holding on. What a smell! I mean, that bus smelled bad enough already without this guy standing there just soakin' his pants & everything‚ I felt so sorry for him. He just couldn't control it. That's one time when you can have BMs when you're standing up, when you have the runs!

58. (SARA: YOU GOT A REVELATION WHEN YOU GOT THE POISON OAK?) Well, I asked the Lord how did I get it in my crotch & I just saw a picture of me standing out in the woods going to the toilet, holding it with my hand. When I took my penie out to go to the bathroom I had rubbed some of that stuff accidentally onto my penie & it got inside my crotch & it was all over. Talk about itch—like fire!

59. SO ANYWAY, I'M SORRY IT TAKES ME SO LONG TO TELL ANYTHING! I don't give you one sermon, I give you a dozen! All in one! And teach you a lot of things at the same time! So anyhow‚ a word to the wise is sufficient‚ watch out about playing out in this grass. It's a shame, when it's such a lovely lawn for children to play on! Can you imagine people spraying it with something so deadly that it would cause you to break out in eczema or allergy?

60. WELL, FROM THE MOMENT I SAW THAT PICTURE, I SAW THE LAWN & I SAW THE RED CAN HANGING IN THE GARAGE, THAT WAS MY ANSWER! And I have not walked on that lawn since, except once or twice I forgot. I don't know whether you noticed today, I started to walk on the grass & I thought, uh-oh, & I made a beeline back to the concrete! And I haven't walked on it since, & my legs have cleared up completely! So watch out for that lawn, it's dangerous!

61. WELL, THIS MORNING: DISCOURAGEMENT STRUCK, INTROSPECTION, I WAS LOOKING IN INSTEAD OF UP! But at least looking in, there's one thing about it, it will make you look up! I was asking the Lord, "Lord, why am I such a mess? How could I be such a mess when I had such a good mother?" I sort of looked up & was thinking about my mother, praying, & I was saying‚ "Mother‚ I'm sorry I'm such a mess when you were so good & you taught me right, yet I made so many mistakes" & I was just thinking about what a mess I am.

62. I WAS JUST ALMOST AS GOOD AS TALKING TO MY MOTHER, REALLY. I was thinking about her & figured she could hear me: "Mother, how come? When you're such a righteous woman? How could I be so bad?" I was thinking about how the Bible says a good tree can't bring forth bad fruit, but I was thinking, "Here I am & I'm such a naughty boy sometimes & so bad." And as my first wife used to say, "You're so carnal, you're so fleshly! All you think about is sex!" Well, I guess she was right, I am, I do! Thanks to you girls, you make it possible! God bless you!

63. BUT ANYWAY, VIDEO TIME, THAT'S MY RELAX TIME & my sex time as well, & recreation time, & thank you girls for making it possible. I'm always for redeeming the time for the days are evil, & why do just one thing at a time when you can do two things? Anyway, it sure takes me a long time to get to the climax, doesn't it?—Even sexually! Of course, that's mostly because I'm getting old. It didn't used to take so long.

64. BUT ANYWAY, ALL OF A SUDDEN IT WAS JUST LIKE I COULD SEE MY MOTHER & SHE WAS SMILING AT ME ALMOST AMUSED, & I could have sworn I saw her say this: "Son, the fruit of the righteous is a tree of life!" (Pr.11:30) Now that's all I got this morning. I couldn't even remember the rest of the verse, I had to ask Maria. There's more to that verse, what is it? The kids sang it awhile ago‚ it reminded me. You can blame it on those kids that were singing that song for reminding me of this story & preaching this long sermon! (Family: Hallelujah!)

65. AND THE MEANING WAS AS CLEAR AS IT COULD BE! I just said‚ "Mother, you're a righteous woman, how could I be so bad?" But she replied, "Son, the fruit of the righteous is a tree of life!" In other words, "You're not bad, you're a tree of life! You're doing a lot of good, you're bearing a lot of fruit!" Well, I should have known that, I read about it all the time. But it's amazing how the Devil can lie to you! It's amazing how he can work you over when you're feeling low!

66. AND YOU SEE HOW YOU CAN TWIST EVEN WHAT SOMEBODY SAYS TO YOU TO MEAN SOMETHING SHE DIDN'T EVEN INTEND TO SAY! But I thought Maria meant by her remark that I'd gotten drunk last night & I had really made you ashamed of me & I'd misbehaved myself or I'd gone to sleep with Dora or something‚ & I couldn't even remember it! Well, I remember you sitting beside me & I remember you working on me‚ another girl too, I wasn't that drunk! But I thought that's what she meant, & see how the Devil used it to get me down & make me get discouraged? Just a little thing like that!

67. BUT IT WAS JUST SO PLAIN‚ I CAN ALMOST SEE IT NOW: "SON, HOW COULD YOU THINK SUCH A THING? THE FRUIT OF THE RIGHTEOUS IS A TREE OF LIFE!" In other words she was saying to me, "Yes‚ I'm righteous, Son, & the fruit of the righteous, in other words, is not a bad tree—you're not what your enemies say about you—the fruit of the righteous is a tree of life!"

68. AND WHEN I CAME IN & TOLD MARIA ABOUT IT I ASKED HER, "WHAT'S THE REST OF THAT VERSE?" She said, "And he that winneth souls is wise!" So I guess I'm not as dumb as the Devil was telling me I was, & I'm not quite as bad as he was saying. And when I was saying awhile ago that I got a revelation that this time was just for me, the Lord right away afterwards rebuked me & said: "It's also for them!"—You!

69. BECAUSE CERTAINLY THE DEVIL HAS LIED TO OUR BACKSLIDERS ABOUT ME UNTIL THEY HAVE BELIEVED IT & they lost confidence in me as their Prophet & as God's man & they went back. Of course, there was always some little wedge of sin that the Devil got ahold of in their own lives, if nothing else, even the fact that they listened to the lies of the Devil when he told them these things‚ or when our enemies told them these things, & they believed them. They didn't have to believe them, they could have rebuked the Devil, resisted the Devil! But I would venture to say 99 times out of 100‚ 99% of the time they believed them because they wanted to believe them to excuse themselves for backsliding, to vindicate themselves for backsliding.

70. DID YOU EVER NOTICE HOW MANY WILD TALES THOSE BACKSLIDERS COOK UP? Even in that book review the fellow said that it looked to them like the deprogramming & the exaggerated tales & lies of the backsliders—he called them defectors—were doing more damage than the original brainwashing that the cults were supposed to be doing! How about that? That was a pretty fair assessment of the situation. Maybe I'm over-simplifying it but that's what he was implying.

71. SO THE DEVIL CAN LIE & HE'S LIED TO OTHERS. He's lied to me & I'm sure he's tried to lie to you sometime, so maybe you needed that as much as I did. PTL! I mean, my Mother was almost amused, like, "Son, how could you think such a thing? My fruit couldn't be bad! The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life! You're a tree of life! You've brought life to literally millions through you & others you've won who preached the Gospel to them, won them to the Lord & gotten them saved."

72. "AND HE THAT WINNETH SOULS IS WISE!" What a Scripture! I never got that before! I remember I had to memorise that in the Soul Clinic because it was about soul-winning. I hardly ever paid any attention to the first of that verse, it was just a part of the verse to work you up to the part that said "he that winneth souls is wise." I don't think I even ever thought about "the fruit of the righteous is a tree of life"! That part of the verse didn't even seem to impress me, ever. "And he that winneth souls is wise," that's the part I was interested in, soul-winning, & I preached that from one end of the World to the other!

73. YOU KNOW, YOU CAN READ A SCRIPTURE MAYBE ALL YOUR LIFE WITHOUT MEANING, UNTIL THE HOLY SPIRIT SPEAKS IT TO YOU & APPLIES IT TO A SITUATION & BRINGS IT TO LIFE! The voice of His Word‚ as it's called, when He gives it to you personally for something or He gives it to you in an answer, He brings it to life, applies it to a situation & it becomes alive suddenly! It's no longer just mere words any more, or words that just run through your head, but all of a sudden it hits you down here & you really get the point!

74. I HAD NEVER THOUGHT MUCH ABOUT THE REST OF THAT VERSE AT ALL! I suppose I thought I understood it, of course, "the fruit of the righteous is a tree of life," whatever that means, it has something to do with soul-winning. "And he that winneth souls is wise." The whole thing hung on soul-winning‚ as far as my memory of the verse was concerned before, & I never thought of it in that respect, that I am my Mother's fruit, she is the righteous & I'm her fruit, & from that fruit has grown a tree of life! Isn't that wonderful? When you think about the real full meaning of the verse it begins to dawn on you. I never would have gotten it if the Holy Spirit hadn't spoken it through my Mother.

75. YOU KNOW, A LOT OF TIMES YOU GET ANSWERS IN PICTURES. I've already given you one sample of that this afternoon about the grass out here & the spray can. Well, the Lord didn't give me a Scripture for that because there wasn't any Scripture for that! He couldn't have showed me it was because of the spray on the grass with a Scripture, but He showed me as plain as day, I saw the grass & then I saw the spray can in the garage—pictures!

76. I JUST GOT THROUGH DICTATING A WHOLE LESSON, BY THE WAY, ON "GOD'S PICTURES!" (No.1317) Maybe you'll get a chance to read it one of these days. I just started out telling about the dream I had the day before yesterday morning, & I just got to talking like you know I do, & I have to go into this & that & everything else trying to explain before I told'm this dream‚ why the Lord sometimes speaks in pictures & why He gives you a picture of something, 'cause that's the quickest possible way to show you the answer‚ you know? So nearly all my dreams have been pictures, either prophetic or warning or explanatory or revelatory & all kinds of things.

77. BUT ALMOST ALWAYS IF THERE'S A SCRIPTURE FOR IT THAT FITS THE SITUATION‚ HE WILL GIVE YOU THE SCRIPTURE, THE WORD! PREACH THE WORD! He will use His Own Word if the Word is the answer, & it usually is. It's only when you require a picture that you get some kind of a revelation like that in a picture, like a dream or a vision, God's Pictures! And often they come with a Scripture, the picture with a Scripture that applies to it‚ just like a caption to a picture, & the Scripture is the caption, & then you understand it & you know why.

78. I DIDN'T EVEN UNDERSTAND THIS DREAM I GOT THE DAY BEFORE YESTERDAY MORNING. It was during my morning nap, & I hardly ever take morning naps, only recently started taking them once in awhile, & I've never had dreams during my naps before that I know of. But I had one the other morning & I think it was a warning, & it's probably a warning that a lot of people need, & now they're going to get, PTL! Maybe that's one reason why the Lord gave it to me, because I had to go into all the details explaining why the Lord uses pictures, & then I had to get to showing how even the Devil uses pictures to do his dirtywork.

79. GOD HAS USED PICTURES ALL THE WAY DOWN THROUGH HISTORY, & IN THE BIBLE THERE ARE ALL KINDS OF PICTURES, Word pictures, descriptions of scenes etc. And the Prophets had dreams & visions & pictures‚ all those monsters & images & all those visions & dreams of prophecy were all pictures God showed to the Prophets. So I had to get into all that description of the history, building a case of the history of how God has used pictures throughout the Bible & throughout history, & how He has used even the pictures of the masterpieces of religious art to help to illustrate things to children.

80. REMEMBER HOW YOU LOVED THOSE SUNDAY SCHOOL PICTURES WHEN YOU WENT TO SUNDAY SCHOOL? Your impression or conception of Christ & what He looked like was probably inspired by the religious art of the famous artists, right?—Unless you've seen Him in a vision or a dream. I only saw Jesus once in a vision, not a dream, because I was wide awake. Well, that's another picture I should have maybe put in the talk. But when I saw Him I was shocked!

81. SOME OF YOU REMEMBER THE LETTER‚ MAYBE—HE & MARY WERE MAKING LOVE! That's how I know that Jesus had sex with some of His women—I saw it! I had the vision while I was exploding in an orgasm of sex, maybe it was with Maria, & it was in the Cruiser. I can remember the place yet, we pulled off in one of those picnic roadside stops in Texas when we were in the caravan, the convoy.

82. AND THE THING THAT SHOCKED ME—I HAD NEVER THOUGHT OF CHRIST AS HAVING A DARK OLIVE-COLOURED SKIN! Did you ever see Him depicted that way in any picture? Never! The Western World with their white skins, their Nordic & Germanic artists, & even the Italians never made Him look really dark-skinned or swarthy. But He had very dark hair & a very big strong muscular body!

83. SOME OF THESE RELIGIOUS ART PICTURES OF JESUS MAKE HIM LOOK SICK OR LIKE A WOMAN!—A little frail skinny delicate thing with long hair like a woman. Some of the times I think they were deliberately trying to make Him look like some kind of a homo or a queer! Especially in the Italian art where homosexuality is so rampant in the Catholic Church! Did you ever notice how some of those Catholic-Italian pictures of Christ make Him look like a queer? Take a look next time & see.

84. I MEAN, I WAS SURPRISED! I KNOW IT WAS A REVELATION BECAUSE I NEVER THOUGHT OF JESUS LOOKING LIKE THAT! I never thought of Him being so robust & strong. But of course! He was a carpenter! Have you ever done carpentry work? It's hard work, you develop muscles, let me tell you! And He was big & strong!—Not some little weak sickly womanly weakling of some kind! He was a big strong man!

85. MAYBE THE LORD USED THAT! MAYBE THAT'S WHY SOMETIMES HIS ENEMIES DIDN'T ATTACK HIM & why when He moved forward through the crowd they melted away in front of Him & got out of His way! Maybe Peter wasn't the only big one in the bunch! Jesus was a big, strong, husky, manly, He-man!—And even a slightly dark–skinned olive colour like you see some Jews‚ especially the Eastern Oriental Jews. Some of them are quite dark, like some of the Arabs, & He was dark olive-skinned when I saw Him.

86. AND THE SHOCKING PART ABOUT IT WAS MARY WHOM HE WAS WITH! I don't know whether her mother got mixed up with some of those Roman soldiers that came down from the North or what, but I never thought of her as being big either. Where did you ever see Mary as a big-bosomed buxom sexy-looking woman in any of those religious art pictures? She's always some little delicate frail thing too, often blonde as they often picture Christ as blond. He was not blond at all! He had very dark, almost black hair. And she was a great big bosomy buxom blonde with long wavy golden blonde hair lying there beside Him, making love to each other just like we do.

87. SO I KNOW THAT HAD TO BE A REVELATION BECAUSE I NEVER EVER CONCEIVED OF EITHER ONE OF THEM LOOKING LIKE THAT! I've always gone by those religious art pictures & figured that must be the way they look. But they were never pictured that way! Now sometimes they picture Martha as being pretty big & husky because she was the hard-working housewife, fixing the meals, with little Mary sitting there frail & delicate‚ looking like she couldn't hardly wash a dish or sweep a rug! "Maybe she didn't work because she didn't like work"—that's the kind of impression they give you! "She looks kind of weak & sickly." Well‚ I'll tell you, this Mary didn't look weak or sickly a bit! And how she got so blonde & fair–skinned amongst all those Jews, I don't know! That's one of the things I'm going to have to ask her when I get up there, or ask somebody.

88. I'VE GOT SO MANY QUESTIONS STACKED UP WHEN I GET THERE TO ASK SO MANY PEOPLE, it's going to take me the whole Millennium to find out all the things I want to know!—Ha! Well, praise God! I wouldn't be surprised that the Lord will let you ask a few & find out a few‚ & you'll be able to ask the people themselves in those days! Isn't that wonderful? Isn't that marvellous to think about how you'll be able to actually meet them & talk to them?

89. I WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED IF DEAR OLD NOAH MIGHT BE AS LONG-WINDED & TALKATIVE AS ME & be happy to sit down with you on that park bench & tell you all about it & how it happened & all those interesting experiences. Old men have a knack for wanting to tell long tales like I have this afternoon, Grandpa Stories! Abraham, Moses, even Paul was a bit long-winded sometimes too, especially when he got to telling his testimony, did you ever notice that? He goes on & on! Ha! GBH! But I don't think any of them were ever as long-winded as I am!

90. SO DON'T LET THE DEVIL GET YOU DOWN, DON'T LET HIM GET YOU DISCOURAGED! "Looking unto Jesus the Author & the Finisher of our faith!" What is discouragement? It means to be un-couraged, not encouraged, dis-couraged, without courage, or your courage at a low ebb. What is courage? Some people have said it's bravery. Well, that's one way of putting it. How could you have courage or be brave to do something? (Family: Faith in God.) Faith! What gives you courage, courage to do & obey & act in a brave or courageous way?—Your faith! Faith in the Lord, in His Word.

91. FAITH ENCOURAGES YOU, THE WORD ENCOURAGES YOU! "Faith comes by hearing the Word of God." (Rom.10:17) So I'll tell you, if you ever get discouraged, the quickest remedy is to start praying & quoting Scriptures & reading the Bible & telling the Devil he's a liar, because how does he get you discouraged? My Mother used to say that's his major tool—discouragement, particularly with Christians.

92. HE CAN'T MAKE YOU DENY THE LORD. He can't make you deny your salvation—although with some Holiness people he does. He can't make you disbelieve in God etc. because you're a saved Christian‚ you have Jesus in your heart‚ you have the Holy Spirit & of course you're not going to deny those things, those fundamental truths of faith. So what kind of lies does he whisper to you? He whispers the lies that are the most easily believed. So what kind of lies are those? Well, either about yourself, or sometimes other people. He wants to get you discouraged about yourself & serving & working for the Lord. If he can get you to give up on yourself, you just give up on everything, right? You just quit. If you think you can't do it then you won't do it, right? But if he can't do that, he'll lie to you about other people & get you discouraged about them.

93. AND WHAT DO THESE LIES DO TO YOU? THEY CAUSE YOU TO DO WHAT? WHAT IS THE OPPOSITE OF FAITH?—DOUBT! Many of our backsliders, defectors, the Devil lied to them about us or our doctrines or the Letters or the life or the Word or whatever, & got them to doubting them. I never heard such a doubter as Jethro! From the time I first met him he sat at the other side of the dinner table in our big house in Miami & started asking me all these questions: "But Dad, what about this? Yeah‚ but what about that?" Doubt after doubt after doubt till I was almost amused!

94. I'D JUST SIT THERE & TRY TO ANSWER ALL HIS DOUBTS WITH SCRIPTURE. He was supposed to be a young Christian, he'd just gotten saved on campus a few months before. He'd been a very popular guy on campus. Cancers are extremely lovely, attractive, popular personalities usually, they can be charming & they can be usually very popular. He won dance contests & was a popular man on campus! But I have to say this for him, when he got saved, he went right back on campus & began telling everybody what happened to him!

95. HE GOT SAVED AT THE GOSPEL RANCH IN MIAMI. What's the name of that guy who had the young people's church in Miami?—Ray Stanford. He eventually started a Bible school there. He'd been kind of a cowboy, motorcyclist, a pilot in WW2, & he came back with a burden to reach young people. So he did a very smart thing, instead of just a church, out behind the church he had this big sort of a California ranch house, sort of Texas-style. He liked horses & he liked the Western motif for his house & he had all these saddles & wagon wheels & plows & stuff hanging on the walls, all Western pictures of cowboys & horses & all that stuff.

96. SO HE TURNED HIS HOME INTO WHAT HE CALLED THE GOSPEL RANCH! He couldn't get people from the colleges & the schools around there to come to church, but he finally thought of this very good idea of trying to reach young people by having informal Bible studies just sitting on the floor or wherever they could in his house, & he called it the Gospel Ranch. The kids from his church were the beginning. He took the few little young people he had, high school & college students‚ & he got them to go into their schools & start inviting others:

97. "COME ON OUT TO THE GOSPEL RANCH! We have a lot of fun, a lot of music, a lot of singing!" He played the guitar, & by & by they had a whole orchestra, a whole bunch of guitars & music, & they just sang & sang & sang & they had a good time, a lot sort of like we do. But it was all Country-Western & he wore this cowboy hat & dressed like a cowboy, & they started all dressing like cowboys & Westerners. This cowboy idea was real popular in those days before the Vietnamese war, & he got'm to come.

98. HE'D START OFF WITH HIS BIG MUSICAL SHOW & SING & HAVE A LOT OF FUN & CRACK JOKES, then he'd have different ones of the kids begin to tell their life story, their testimony, & began to get serious, & he'd finally wind up with a Bible Study‚ usually about Bible Prophecy. He wasn't quite straight on it, but nevertheless he was talking about the Lord's coming, & young people are always interested in the future. Everybody's interested in the future! Except right now they figure there's not going to be any future‚ & they're almost right as far as this World's present System is concerned!

99. IT WAS A GOOD IDEA & THAT'S WHERE JETH GOT SAVED. He got invited out to that by one of his college friends. He was a sceptic about church, his parents had to drag him to the Methodist Church by the hair of the head, & he hardly ever went. By the time he got to college he never went. And of course they seldom preached the Gospel, they just preached that social Gospel‚ you know? They didn't know Jesus & neither did he. Jeth never found Him there in church‚ like a lot of you.

100. BUT AT THE END OF RAY'S MEETING, GOD BLESS HIM, THEY WOULD HAVE VERY SERIOUS PRAYER & ask for "a show of hands of anybody that's not saved, not ready for the future, the terrible things that are going to happen, the coming of the Lord too & all this, would you like to know Jesus? Would you like to be sure of your future & so on?" He was really good at it, he was a good evangelist, & a lot of those kids got saved in that crew, including Jeth!

101. I BELIEVE JETH'S SAVED! I BELIEVE JUDAS WAS SAVED! Does that shock you? If you don't know that you haven't read all the Letters! Of course, how could you read them all, there're so many! Especially the old ones. I don't suppose anybody ever reads them anymore. But they're going to read them now in the Komix! (And Condos!) They're getting the message right there, it's beautiful!

102. SO JETH REALLY DID GET SAVED THERE, BUT HE LOVED TO DOUBT! They say Cancers have a real bent along that line, an enquiring sceptical mind. Only they say that Scorpios are even worse, they're almost born sceptics, doubters, agnostics. But Cancers are inclined to doubt. I don't see that our Cancer here has shown any bent along that line at all, but boy‚ Jethro was a doubter of doubters. Do you ever remember him sitting around & saying, "But so–&-so! Now what about this & so-&-so? Now Dad said so-&-so, but how can that be?" And he'd sit there & talk to people like that. "Well, you know how Dad is, he says things like that but he doesn't really mean that! What he really means is so-&-so!"

103. HE'D GET UP BEFORE THE WHOLE 250-300 PEOPLE AT TSC, AFTER I'D WRITTEN A LETTER explaining exactly what I meant & saying it too—he'd read the Letter, but then stop & explain what I really meant! Right along with the Letter he would give his interpretation. "Now Dad doesn't really mean that! You know, Dad is extreme, he exaggerates. He says those things but he doesn't really mean them. He doesn't expect us to do things like that, you know, this FFing & that sort of thing. He wouldn't expect the married women to do that, of course! Maybe you single women could."

104. MY LORD, THEY DISCOURAGED SEX EVEN IN THE FAMILY, MUCH LESS OUTSIDE THE FAMILY! I mean‚ we were shocked when we finally began to get some of the tales & stories about how the Chain was running the Family & making sex virtually prohibitive & almost impossible & totally forbidden & restricted! They were like a bunch of monks & nuns! They just absolutely didn't allow anything like that. Well‚ you know me, I was never like that, that's for sure! And while he was up there forbidding sex & everything else, I was having plenty of it!—With plenty of my dear girls, GB'm!—And encouraging it! But he never would receive it.

105. I'M QUITE SURE ORIGINALLY IT WAS BECAUSE HE WAS SO MADLY IN LOVE WITH DEBORAH that he was going to make sure that she never got out & got around like that or did anything like that, not even with any of the brethren, much less outsiders! About the only sex they ever encouraged was if they thought they'd make a good team for the office or the work or the housekeeping or something, they would order certain people to get betrothed & married. Then he'd insist they go down & get a legal license which tied'm up so that it has made no end of trouble since then of people wanting to break up! He & Mother were great ones on that, & Deborah!

106. I MEAN, WHEN I HEARD SOME OF THE HORRORS THAT WERE GOING ON IN THE FAMILY UNDER THEIR LEADERSHIP, that's why I finally practically ran Mother out! And I used to trounce on Deborah for some of the matches that those matchmakers had made which were just horrible! They were horrible matches, some of them, terrible! Well, they hit a few right‚ but very few. I don't know whether she had anything to do with you & Alf. (Sara: Mother put us together.) Well‚ after all, by the law of averages you've gotta guess a few! You can't be always wrong! But they were sure wrong a lot of the time!

107. BUT ALL THAT TO SAY THIS, JETHRO WAS SUCH A DOUBTER! That was his problem. I mean, the Devil could talk to him. In fact, before he ever got saved he used to hear voices telling him to do bad things. So he was really in tune with the spirits‚ evil spirits. He had spiritual experiences before he ever got saved. The Devil was really working him over!

108. AND THE DEVIL DIDN'T QUIT AFTER HE GOT SAVED, HE DIDN'T GIVE UP, HE KEPT WORKING ON HIM & KEPT TALKING TO HIM! Some of the things he'd come up with were absolutely diabolical! Nobody could have thought up the kind of doubts & criticisms & fears that he would voice but the Devil himself! And the whole time that we were working together I had to fight with that & deal with that, & it was a battle‚ I'll tell you, it was a battle! (—Like Jesus with Judas!—See "Judas", No.71.)

109. BUT I JUST USED HIM AS AN ILLUSTRATION TO SHOW YOU HOW DOUBTS CAN GET IN. He doubted me from the beginning. He questioned the things I'd do & he'd question the orders I'd give him, he'd question the suggestions I'd make. "Well, Dad, I don't think that'll work. Dad, I don't really want to do it that way, I'd rather do it this way. No, Dad, I don't believe that person is what you think at all, I think they're just fine! I think they'll just do the job. He's a real good businessman & he really knows how to get things movin' & organised. I don't see that spiritual lack in him that you seem to see. Well, maybe he doesn't have time to read his Bible, memorise or study‚ & he doesn't like the classes & the meetings—well, I don't either, really. You know me‚ I really don't like to sit there so long etc."—Jeth would say.

110. HE HATED THE MEETINGS, HE HATED MY CLASSES, ALWAYS A DOUBTER, ALWAYS A CRITIC! And from what I've heard of their bull sessions in their little clique amongst themselves, it was mostly discussing people derrogatively, tearing them down, picking them to pieces, picking them apart behind their backs in private.—Along with poor Rachel, that's where she got most of her training, under them, so it's no wonder she went astray like they did! Here's this bunch of leaders sitting up there in his cabin, in his livingroom just tearing people apart & to pieces—& I presume, I wouldn't be surprised of course—including me! You know, pointing out the faults & the mistakes & where I was wrong & it won't work etc. etc.

111. WELL, "BY THEIR FRUITS YE SHALL KNOW THEM!" (MT.7:20) HERE WE ARE! Here's the whole World full of our children winning millions of souls, God blessing‚ prospering, giving fruit! "The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life" & it's gotten to be a pretty big tree with a lot of branches & a lot of fruit!

112. AND WHERE ARE DEBORAH & JETHRO?—And Rachel? They could have been mightily used, they had all kinds of talent. Look at Deb's talent for having children, for example‚ & teaching childbirth & all those things. She first got us interested in childcare, she was the first one to do it. I appointed her to it because she had so many kids, she was having them one after the other nearly every year or so, GBH! Poor little frail thing! And Jethro treated her like mud! Half the time he'd worship her & the other time he'd treat her like dirt on the floor, even get violent with her!

113. IT SEEMED THAT SHE HAD A PENCHANT, SOME KIND OF AN ATTRACTION FOR VIOLENT MEN! How many of you knew Isaiah? He was violent, violent with the children! He did terrible things to the children, picked them up by the head & stuff like that, hit'm, & was horrible! He was demonic! I was shocked when I finally heard some of the stories & people finally told us some of the things that happened! I don't know why people waited so long to tell us! They surely didn't think that I advocated that sort of behaviour or that I would approve of that kind of violence with children!

114. I FIRED THE BEST ARTIST WE EVER HAD, WHEN I HEARD OF ONE INCIDENT OF VIOLENCE, that he struck one of our children in one of the Homes he lived in & knocked poor little tongue-tied stammering Ben down the stairs, hit him so hard! Just got annoyed & impatient. We're going to have to pray for him, he has a hard time everywhere he goes. He's come back now & we've been so good to him & the women have been so good to him to be willing to live with him, but sooner or later he almost goes berserk & he gets violent. I don't know whether it's his artistic temperament or what. You've heard about people who are temperamental?—90% temper & 10% mental! What it is, I don't know‚ but you'd better pray for him.

115. HE'S BACK AGAIN, PRODUCING AGAIN & GETTING OUT SOME GOOD KOMIX, he's illustrating for MCV, but the girl they gave him, she's having trouble with him already. He gets annoyed with'm, they bother him. Well‚ I can understand how maybe it starts, but he just goes insane with his fits of temper! But he's an outstanding artist‚ & when you're concentrating, I mean, even when I'm reading Letters or editing or proofreading sometimes‚ if Maria comes in with a question or annoys me I'll almost get impatient with her! But I don't think I've ever gotten violent. I don't think I've ever struck her that I know of. I had to swat Eve once or twice, on her big mouth, but anyway, she needed it. But please pray for him, he does have streaks of violence, that the Lord will cure him. I think maybe they really need to lay hands on him & cast the thing out. (GBH, he's doing fine now, TTL!)

116. BUT JETHRO'S PROBLEM WAS DOUBT. He wouldn't read the Word, he didn't like the Letters, he didn't like classes, so where was he going to get his faith? He had very little faith—always sceptical, always doubting‚ always fearful, & I guess that's what happened to Judas‚ huh? He saw it comin' & he got scared, & probably the enemies that he was hobnobbing along with undercover—unbeknownst to the disciples, but probably known to Jesus I'm sure—had probably planted lots of doubts in his mind till he was virtually persuaded: "Well, maybe this isn't the Guy" or whatever.

117. I GUESS THAT'S THE WAY THE ENEMY WORKED ON JETH & A LOT OF OTHERS OF OUR BACKSLIDERS UNTIL THEY FINALLY LISTENED. They kept listening to the Devil & they finally believed those lies & those doubts, & then comes the lack of courage through the lack of faith. Because you cannot have the courage to obey unless you have faith.—Right? (Family: Amen!) So that's where the Word is such a blessing.

118. WHEN I GOT DISCOURAGED, LOOK WHAT THE LORD DID! He showed me a picture of my Mother, that's true, but it was the Word which had the impact, the tremendous effect! He just hit me right between the eyes—or she did, it seemed like she was quoting it to me—just like, "That couldn't be! The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life! I'm righteous, you're my tree of life!" And I didn't even remember the rest of the verse!

119. SHE COULD HAVE GONE ON & SAID, "AND HE THAT WINNETH SOULS IS WISE! Look at all the souls you've won! How could you doubt for a minute that you're of the Lord & that you're the right kind of a tree & you're doing the right things?" It doesn't mean I'm always right, I make a few mistakes sometimes, I probably over–do things & under-do things. I undo quite a few things with girls!—And I do a few things I can't undo! So PTL anyhow! (Family: Amen!) At least the Lord uses me.

120. LIKE THAT LITTLE SONG THEY WERE SINGING: "THE LORD CAN EVEN USE ME!" Well, they sang it: "He can even use you!" I thought they ought to sing it first of all: "He can even use me!" Preach to themselves first & then preach to the other people—"He can also use you!"—& Maria's going to recommend they change that. Don't always just preach your sermons to the other guy‚ preach them to yourself first & live'm, & then you can offer'm to the other fellow because they worked in you. And your own personal testimony is the most effective message you have!

121. SO THERE YOU ARE, I'VE GIVEN YOU MY PERSONAL TESTIMONY TODAY OF WHAT HAPPENED TO ME. I didn't expect to have this meeting, I was trying to get you to have it & I was going to tell you how to have it, so tonight you're going to have it, God willing. I would like for you to arrange your own. We were going by ages to pick the leader, but I don't know, that's not by inspiration. The Holy Spirit can do things better.

122. AND SARA, SINCE YOU'RE THE HEAD OF THIS HOUSE & HOUSEHOLD & PERSONNEL & our spiritual leader under us‚ I'd like to ask you to decide on who should lead‚ or maybe do it yourself this time to show them how it should be done & lead the meeting. There's nothing like example & to be shown: "I'd rather see a sermon than hear one any day." Well, you sure heard a long one today! I don't know if you saw much, but at least it works‚ TTL!

123. ANYHOW, I'D LIKE YOU TO TAKE CHARGE TONIGHT & DO IT ANY WAY YOU THINK BEST. You can appoint different people to do different things.—Maybe somebody to do the Communion & somebody to lead the prayer & somebody to get out those guitars & lead the music. I thought that was great when you guys got out your guitars, I don't know why you never bring'm to our Fellowship meetings anymore. I don't know why you don't bring'm to the table at night & play your guitars for the music. Why don't you?—You lead the music & your songs. You're so used to me doing it, I lead all these old hymns which is all I know, but if you'd take over & lead the music & play it & sing it‚ I could sit back & relax & enjoy it.—Even if I don't know'm & I can't sing'm.

124. YOU CAN'T TEACH AN OLD DOG NEW TRICKS! I'm not about to begin to learn all these new songs, I've got my head too full of all those old ones, it's a little too late for me to start now. That's what I used to tell the guys down in the Canaries about Spanish. They'd try to correct me & recommend that I learn a little bit better Spanish! And I said, "I'm sorry, Buddy, it's too late! I'm too busy, I haven't got time to sit down & stick my nose in a Spanish book & start learning something that I should have learned a long time ago. I'm too busy now to stop & learn a language!" I like to pick up a little & I learned what I could, but they understood me, didn't they? (Family: Yes, & on radio too!) Yes, can you imagine me speaking Spanish on the radio? And on television too!

125. I USED TO CARRY ON LONG CONVERSATIONS, HOURS IN SPANISH WITH THOSE GUYS DOWN THERE! I mean‚ important men too, guys with whom I felt like a simpleton or a fool almost, or a little child—lawyers‚ doctors, one judge & quite a few others. That whole hearing that we had with that damn judge—& he is damned—was all in Spanish! Can you imagine? He wouldn't speak a word of English, he flatly refused! I'm sure he was trying to make it difficult for me, but I got by. They did have an interpreter there, a German who could hardly speak English—he was more fluent in Spanish than he was in English—but he helped me out a little bit when I got stuck. But I learned enough to get by & I spoke a simple childish Spanish, everything in present tense & first person & whatnot! Ha! But they understood me, just like we understand Techi. In fact, she speaks better English than I spoke Spanish! (Three years old.)

126. I'M AMAZED, ASTONISHED AT HER VOCABULARY & HER GRASP OF MEANINGS! What was that big word she said today? (Family: Compared.) (Sara: Your finger compared to her little finger.) I mean, she grasps the meaning of abstract words & terms! I just shake my head in wonder! And when Dora writes me some of these notes about what she said, I'm just amazed! Like some of the wise things that David used to say when he was little. He never talked near as much as she does, maybe he didn't get a chance! I always think of what the Lord said about her: "Wise Techi!" She really has a lot of wisdom—God-given of course—& I'm sure she must have a lot of helpers. It's amazing to me some of the things she comes up with!

127. WELL, I'VE GOT TO LET YOU GO, MY GOODNESS, LORD HELP US! These poor people! Amen‚ Lord, rest their tired bodies now. Give them a little nap or a good rest before dinner time. Don't be ashamed if you're weary! The Lord Himself said, "The spirit indeed is willing but the flesh is weak!" (Mt.26:41) Don't be ashamed to admit that you're tired. I don't see why you sit on that big hard chair when you could go to sleep on one of these nice couches. Fred used to say, "I don't mind if you go to sleep in my meetings as long as you keep your eyes open!"

128. WELL, PTL! TYL! I THINK SOMEBODY ELSE BETTER CLOSE IN PRAYER BECAUSE I'M APT TO PREACH YOU A GOOD PRAYER! We used to say if you're witnessing to somebody & they don't want to listen & they try to brush you off & get rid of you‚ one of the old tricks is to just grab'm by the hand & say: "Well, just let me pray for you!" & start praying like a house-afire & put the whole Gospel message into your prayer. And it's the funniest thing, the worst of sinners, the worst old rascals, even Jews, have not dared to interrupt the prayer!

129. I DON'T KNOW WHETHER IT'S THE POWER OF PRAYER or their respect for prayer or just plain courtesy or politeness or maybe a combination of all those things! I used to grasp their hand & lay my other hand on their shoulder besides & start praying, & they wouldn't stop me until I was finished, & usually I got a good prayer in there!—And once in awhile during the prayer the tears came. I'd look up after the prayer & they'd been crying because the Lord touched their heart by the love & the power of prayer!

130. ONCE I HAD A BUNCH OF DAMNED JEWISH RABBLE-ROUSERS IN BAYFRONT PARK on Biscayne Bay in Miami & I was trying to read'm Isaiah 53. This crowd gathered & I was trying to preach away to this bunch of Jews. And this one rascal, oh, he was horrible, like the Devil! Probably it was the Devil, Satan himself inspiring the guy! After all, if Satan followed the Lord around‚ who else would he follow around today but us?—Trying to cause us trouble!

131. SO THIS GUY KEPT TAUNTING & HECKLING & INTERRUPTING when I was trying to read the Scripture, so I just stopped & prayed. And while I was praying he never let out a peep! And when I got done praying & started reading the Scripture again he started his heckling again. And two or three of these Jews around him said, "Shut up! Be quiet! We want to hear what he's got to say! We want to hear what he's reading!" And they shut him up! And he finally quit & walked off!

132. SO PRAYER HAS A LOT OF POWER‚ PTL‚ even in witnessing or preaching on the street corner or the park or wherever. If all else fails, stop & pray & the Lord will work! If you can't do it, let God do it! So try that on your job too! When the computer just doesn't seem to want to do the right thing‚ stop, lay your hands on it & pray! It could be the Devil or one of his little imps getting into the works! Or when the cooking just doesn't seem to go right, stop & pray! Or if somehow or other you just can't make those books balance, stop & pray! Maybe the Devil's throwing some kind of a gimmick or a monkey wrench into the figures somewhere!

133. I WENT OVER THE MAGAZINE ONE DAY & IT WAS LIKE TRYING TO BALANCE THE SCALES! In those days we had three classifications of Letters, we had MO Letters, DO Letters & then we had the DFO or GP & all that, & we'd try to put them into the Magazine so they could pull out their MO & leave the rest. But then we had to make it so the printers could also pull out the very high security Selah DO Letters so that IRFers wouldn't get'm. They had to be next to the MO section so they could pull them out & they wouldn't send them to the mere IRFers.

134. SO IT WAS A COMPLICATED CHINESE PUZZLE TO TRY TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO CONSTRUCT THE MAGAZINE‚ & it still is, because we still have to put the MO Letters right in the middle & we have to balance'm on both sides of the middle so they can just pull out those. And then we've got to put the rest in on both sides. You just try it some time & see! Well, I had a time & I just couldn't make it balance & I couldn't figure it out. I miscounted somewhere or something & it just wouldn't work out & I just got desperate & prayed & right away the Lord showed me what it was, I was miscounting something & it just wouldn't work out right. So just pray! (—And now we have the simple little GNs!—All MO Letters!)

135. IF THAT OLD RASCAL, THAT CANTANKEROUS PERSNICKETY OLD BUM (ME) WHO GIVES YOU SO MUCH TROUBLE & complains about the food & complains about what you did & this or that or the other, if he just can't seem to understand you or see it right or understand what you're trying to explain to him, just stop & pray! Maybe you can lay your hands on my head & ask God to show me. And then if I still don't understand‚ just pick up something & konk me over the head with it! Maybe you can knock a little sense into my head! Pray! PTL!

136. THAT'S WHAT I FINALLY DID THIS MORNING! I got so discouraged & I just finally gave up & I just came to that, I had to trust the Lord! I had to stop & pray! So I just stopped & prayed, "Now Lord, how could such a righteous woman as my Mother have such a terrible son?" And almost as clear as anything I could just see her & I got that Scripture! I never got that before! PTL! Is it the seed of the righteous? The fruit of the righteous? Fruit or seed? (Family: Fruit of the righteous.) Oh, I was right, how about that? I'm not always that good on quoting Scripture, I'm not very good on references, but "the fruit of the righteous is a tree of life!" I was so excited & thrilled about that answer I got & I was so encouraged & inspired that I wasn't so bad after all, even if I was an old sex-crazy drunk‚ nevertheless I was a tree of life! PTL! "And he that winneth souls is wise." TYL!

137. SO WHEN YOU GET DISCOURAGED OR YOU GET FRUSTRATED WITH WHATEVER YOU'RE DOING, STOP & PRAY & ask the Lord for an answer & He will surely give it to you, & it will probably be the Word! Or stop & read your Bible, or even a MO Letter might help you. Stop & pray! Or read a Komic. Boy, I love to read those Komix! I just get so fascinated! I started on that Komic book the other day just about the time I was going to quit work, & I couldn't stop! Maria invited me to come take a nap with her, she went to sleep, but I couldn't lay that book down till I'd been through the whole book! Well, I didn't read every word but I looked at all the pictures & I read some of it. I saw some Komix in there I didn't even remember, but I guess I'd approved them years ago. PTL!

138. WELL, I GOTTA QUIT! I STARTED TO QUIT SEVERAL TIMES & SAY "SOMEBODY PRAY," WHY DON'T YOU PRAY QUICK BEFORE I START TALKING AGAIN! Sara, will you organise the evening program then? Since we had quite a lengthy meeting & a long sermon, maybe you could do something with a bit more audience participation with a little more of your songs & singing & instrumentalists & some testimonies, that's what we're supposed to be doing. Then at Communion time if you have any confessions to make you're supposed to make'm then, anything to make right with anybody‚ ask'm to forgive you etc. I hear you have some really good meetings & I'd like to sit in on one & just listen tonight. That would really be a record for me, wouldn't it? At least I could try! See if I can't keep my mouth shut & listen to you guys. Maybe if I put some tape on it or something.

139. DAVID, YOU ARE AMAZING! You sat through this long sermon nearly three hours & you haven't batted an eye! Even when he laid down here to rest he didn't go to sleep. He just lay there & listened to Daddy. Honey, aren't you awful tired & sleepy? I think you'd better go to bed now & take your nap! I think everybody better go to bed & take your nap. Sara or somebody, why don't you hurry up & pray! I've had it almost over. I had it in three times, why didn't you shut the door?! I don't have to tell you that joke again, do I? Have you all heard the story about Mike trying to get the army truck in the garage? Anybody that hasn't heard it, raise your hand! You'd better not raise your hand! Oh! Dear little Davida raised her hand. Promise you'll tell her afterward? OK! (Sara closes in prayer, then Dad:)

140. BLESS & KEEP'M, LORD‚ & GIVE THEM REST NOW ON THIS REST DAY‚ AS WELL AS INSPIRATION, IN Jesus' name. Thank You for how marvellously You have kept us, Lord‚ such a miracle that You've protected us & our children have almost nothing bad happen. TYJ! Bless Alf as they're trying to find a house for us, Lord. We know You've got one & You know the right one & You're probably just letting them search to see what it ain't so they'll know when it am, Lord, & so they'll recognise when they've really got a good one & a bargain, or at least what we need, in Jesus' name. TYL! Keep them & guide them & protect them, Lord. TYJ!

141. HELP ALL OF OUR FOLKS, LORD‚ AROUND THE WORLD! PTL! We haven't time now to pray for them all, but it would be a good thing also to have a good round of prayer at the close of your meeting, maybe after the Communion etc., close with a number of prayers from different ones. That's the trouble, see, when I'm around, I do all the leading & all the talking & you guys never have a chance to open your mouths hardly! I'd like to hear you for a change! I'd like to hear you testify & sing & praise the Lord & pray & lead the meeting! You need the experience! I won't be here forever.

142. SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE THE LORD: "THY WORD, O LORD, IS SETTLED FOREVER IN HEAVEN!"—Now you can see why you're never going to run out of MO Letters, because I've already recorded enough to last you till the Lord comes, & it will take our MO Letter staff that long to get'm all transcribed, edited, printed & in your hands. So there's no chance, no way you're ever going to run out of MO Letters! These lessons are going to go on & on! Maria's got stacks & stacks of'm! Stacks & stacks of finished edited final-typed Letters! Some of them are even illustrated, that we still haven't had room to put in the Magazine. Some of them are getting so old I don't know if there's even any point in printing them anymore, except they do have some good lessons in'm!

143. YOU DON'T SUPPOSE WE GOT ANYTHING OUT OF THIS TODAY, DO YOU? Have these mikes been here all the time? I even forgot they were there! I didn't know you'd hooked me up again. I was thinking awhile ago, "She should have maybe put the mike back again, some of this might be worth keeping!" (Family: Maria did it before she left.) See, when I'm talking I'm so unconscious of anything else that I didn't even realise she'd stuck the mikes back on there! I was just looking down thinking, it's too bad we didn't get some of this on tape, & there it was! Ha!

144. YOU'RE DISMISSED! I'LL TELL YOU, IF YOU DON'T GET OUT OF HERE, I MIGHT START TALKING AGAIN! In fact, I will as long as you're there to listen!—I'll keep talking! I mean, that's just the teacher in me. As long as I've got open hearts & ears I'll keep talking! GBY! ILY! TYL! Everybody happy? Healthy? Wise? OK! PTL! GBY! Then you must have gotten to bed early last night! Ha, ha, ha! He made it for us to enjoy & I like to enjoy it to the fullest!—In Jesus' name, amen!—GBAKY all!—ILY!—C'mon girls, let's go to bed! HAL! TYJ! I'll love you forever!—Amen?