—By Ruth DavidHong Kong‚ 3/12/80DO 952-9
Dearest Dad & Maria,
GOD BLESS YOU! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH & thank God for you every day! PTL! Thanks so very much for your love & concern & counsel to us now as through the years. Your recent Letter "Porno Movies" has been a great help in understanding & bringing to light some very basic problems which need to be resolved & healed. I know that what you've written & counselled has been in love for Esther & our family even as we correct our children in love. GBY for your love & faithfulness!
I FEEL THE MAIN CAUSE OF ESTHER'S VARIOUS PROBLEMS & BEING OFF THE TRACK HAS BEEN HER YEARS OF RESENTMENT TOWARDS HO, a root of bitterness that she has allowed to exist in her spiritual life‚ which she acknowledges is there. Because she has been dealt with many times about her murmuring about Ho that in their marriage he's never given her the time & attention & counsel she's wanted & felt she needed, she has kept this resentment all bottled up inside her.
EVEN THOUGH IT HAS BEEN ABOUT FIVE YEARS SINCE YOU FIRST ASKED ME TO STICK WITH HO & love him like I love you (& I do! PTL!) & since I've lived together with Ho & Esther, I've only known about this terrible resentment for the past one year, which showed me how pent-up & bottled up it was, & that it was eating her up inside. We all know that inner tensions, anxieties & bitterness can cause many physical illnesses & the breakdown of the body, & so her body weakened by six babies in five years‚ has been now devastated by infections‚ pain, & a complete hysterectomy, ulcer & a very difficult recovery all aggravated by the years of inner tensions or resentment. (2Tim.2:17.)
THE CHILDREN ALSO REFLECT QUITE A BIT OF TENSION & CONFLICT IN THEIR RELATIONSHIPS WITH ONE ANOTHER. Even though on the surface Ho & Esther's relationship seems OK‚ of course the children & people living with them pick up on it & it affects them even though they may not understand the background & cause.
ESTHER & I HAVE TALKED THIS ALL OUT SEVERAL TIMES, ESPECIALLY LATELY SINCE THE "PORNO MOVIES" LETTER, I believe that no matter what her circumstances were in her early marriage or in Italy or Hong Kong, she should have kept her eyes on the Lord & a thankfulness in her heart for all the Lord has blessed her with, instead of resenting what she felt she wanted but didn't have. Although we could list a lot of things that are wrong as a result of this basic mistake‚ I feel that patching up these exterior faults will be useless unless the most basic cause can be corrected first. And only Esther can do this by forsaking this root of bitterness towards Ho & other Family members who have dealt with her in the past—& from now on actively fight & resist all temptation to fall back into this resentment & feeling sorry for herself.
MANY WOMEN THROUGH ALL AGES HAVE TRIED TO REMAKE OR MAKE OVER THEIR MEN WITH DISASTROUS RESULTS, as any marriage counsellor or marriage book can sadly testify. Ho is not perfect nor is any man (or any woman!) or any marriage—but the success of any marriage or relationship has always depended on the attitude of the people involved. A woman needs to love a man by accepting him as he is, admiring his best & strongest qualities, the reasons she loved him in the first place, resisting the temptation in all us females to nag or harp on something we'd like to change that would make it all "perfect," or quietly resenting him when he doesn't change, bringing the vital relationship to a quick death through lack of communication within the first few years.
DURING THE FIRST YEARS OF THEIR MARRIAGE HO WAS SELDOM AROUND, very busy helping to pioneer our wonderful & now Worldwide Family, working in the pioneer publications, government & administration, new fields & countries. I'm sure he would have loved to have been with his family more, as he is very tender & loving inside‚ & he missed seeing his children as babies & growing up, in order to get the job done. He never let himself get bitter over this sacrifice of seldom seeing Esther & the children. There were so many people then & now who operate under much more difficult circumstances than Esther ever has, without getting bitter!—But better! The Bible even says that in the Endtime those that are married will have to be as if they were not married. (1Cor.7:29.)
THE MAIN VERSES I ALWAYS GET WHEN PRAYING FOR ESTHER IN HER VARIOUS ILLNESSES & PROBLEMS ARE IN HEBREWS 12, particularly verse 15 about a "root of bitterness" springing up & defiling many. Verse 14 points out that it's caused by not "following peace with all men," & verse 13 that that which is "lame" should not turn out of the way, but that the Lord would rather heal! PTL!
ALL THIS CHASTENING IN HER LIFE (HEB.12:1-12) COULD BE ENDED & HEALED BY VERSE 2: "LOOKING UNTO JESUS" & verse 4: "Resisting unto blood" the sin & temptation to harbour resentment (getting eyes on self instead of the Lord) & verse 5: not despising the correction of the Lord through His leaders.
I BELIEVE THE LORD WANTS TO BLESS HER & HEAL HER & POUR OUT ALL HIS SPIRITUAL BLESSINGS ON HER IF SHE WOULD ONLY FORSAKE THIS TERRIBLE ROOT OF BITTERNESS which has choked out her fruitfulness these past years & frustrated her at every turn. Esther is so talented & spiritually sensitive, greatly gifted to sing, write songs & in the fields of education & inspiration for children—yet our very own home has been parched in these areas for almost three years, as she rarely sings or writes a line. (My God! Lk.12:48!—D.)
SHE'S VERY PRONE TO PUT THE BLAME FOR EVERYTHING ON SOMEONE ELSE OR HER OWN CIRCUMSTANCES—but this is no way to correct the problem! It's got to come from wanting to change herself first, & forsaking & fighting this bitterness‚ never allowing it a foothold again, & filling up with the Lord, His Word, His Family & His Work.
I LOVE ESTHER VERY MUCH & HAVE DISCUSSED ALL THESE THINGS WITH HER. I've been so very encouraged recently to see her live fulltime with the children again & teach them everyday. She has also these last few months begun FFing again with new fish, & has even started singing while out witnessing to fish! PTL! I can see that already the Lord has strengthened her physically & spiritually with each new step back to Him, to encourage her to return all the way to her first love of the Lord & His will & His work for her.
BUT THE FINAL & COMPLETE HEALING & FREEDOM CAN ONLY COME WITH HER COMPLETE SURRENDER TO HIM AGAIN, forsaking her greatest weakness continually as in "Greater Victories," & forsaking herself & her old root of bitterness, getting all emptied out so the Lord can get her all filled up again with Him & His new Family & new Revolution‚ out with the old & in with the new!—Everything else will then fall into place as God intended. PTL!
BY THE WAY, I'D LIKE TO MENTION HERE THAT ESTHER HAD NEVER ACTUALLY VIEWED A PORNO MOVIE when she made the comment about you & Ho, but later when walking into a room where a young Family member was watching, she felt her stomach turn & was really revolted by it. But PTL!—The "Porno Movies" Letter was really of the Lord & brought out exactly what needed to be brought out! (TTL!)
ILY always. Yours in Jesus, Ruthie.
1. (DAD'S REPLY: Thanks Sweetheart! GBY!—You hit the nail on the head!—Hope we can pound it through her head!—I guess only God can! Keep praying & helping'm both!—Thanks!—ILY!—Your D.)