2 February 1979DO 778
Dear Kenaz & Hodiah:
1. THANK YOU FOR YOUR RECENT LETTERS WHICH ALWAYS ARE SO ENCOURAGING. We hope by now you have received a copy of our Letter to Samson, which will even better help you to understand his situation. We are planning, God willing, to publish this Letter for the entire Family‚ as it is a serious matter needing to be brought to their attention; not only because of this particular case‚ but others similar,
2. WE LOVE & APPRECIATE YOU VERY MUCH & are so thankful to the Lord for your faithful‚ loyal service in such difficult fields‚ We believe the Lord has given you real wisdom in the multitude of matters you have been compelled to deal with, & from what we can see‚ you've handled things very well considering the great responsibilities of your job.
3. WE WOULD LIKE THEREFORE TO SHARE A CERTAIN MATTER WITH YOU & ask for your counsel: As you know, Timothy has been living & working directly with us for the past year & has been a tremendous help & blessing, cheerfully, willingly & sacrificially forsaking Rachel & his wife & family to be with us & take from our shoulders a great load of business correspondence & administration.
4. WE HAVE GROWN VERY CLOSE TO HIM & LOVE HIM DEARLY. We could not have asked for a better helper in these business matters. After being under Rachel's training for so many years, we were amazed at the progress he made during this time & how the Lord had changed for the better so many things in his life.
5. HOWEVER, IT WAS VERY DIFFICULT FOR HIM BEING AWAY FROM HIS WIFE & childhood friend of 16 years & his four children‚ although he never openly complained or talked about this.
6. BUT RECENTLY, [Deb's] many other complaints & poor-me's really got Timothy down & worried.
7. AS A RESULT, HE BEGAN HEARKENING MORE TO THE VOICE OF HIS WIFE THAN TO US OR THE LORD & his heart was more with them than it was here with us. So now the Lord has given him his heart's desire & we have let him return to be with her & the children. (Working at WS.)
8. [W]e could not have her & the children living with Timothy while he was living with us, although we did try for several months unsuccessfully.
9. AFTER THIS EXPERIENCE‚ we have come to the conclusion that it is almost impossible for a married man with a family to forsake them & be single-minded, single-hearted & single-eyed to the Lord's Work & not looking back in his heart. (Not impossible, however, since I know of a few who have done it, including Dad.)
10. THE FACT REMAINS, HOWEVER, THAT WE DO NOW NEED SOMEONE TO WORK DIRECTLY WITH US who is all of the above, but we do not feel that we can expect this of a married man with the ties & distraction of a wife & children. I guess it is asking too much. Timothy really tried, but those old bonds, including his still-loyal ties to Rachel, were stronger than his new ones.
11. IN LOOKING FOR SOMEONE AS A REPLACEMENT, WE HAVE PRAYED DESPERATELY & racked our brains to try & think of someone who is single, first of all, as well as qualified in all other respects for the job. We have not yet come up with anyone suitable to work so closely with us.
12. WE NEED A MAN OR A WOMAN WHO IS TRUSTED & PROVEN FOR YEARS NOW, whom we know personally who likes living in a selah Home without much outside activity or excitement, just mostly willing to be on the mountain with the Lord, tucked quietly away somewhere with only the satisfaction & knowledge that he or she is helping the Prophet to feed the world what they so desperately need.
13. WE NEED A PERSON WHO IS A 100%'ER, FAITHFUL, LOYAL UTTERLY SOLD OUT, who trusts us & would be willing to die for us, willing to sign a blank sheet of paper, if need be, & let us & the Lord fill it in‚ someone who can stand a little loneliness in exchange for the inward satisfaction that he is filling very important responsibility in the Lord's Kingdom, & someone who can work not only with Dad & also with me, but with the rest of our staff as well. (Of course, they need to have good business sense & letter writing ability, common practicality as well as a good link with the Lord‚ the ability to follow directions, but also to take initiative in the absence of them)
14. WELL, THAT'S A PRETTY BIG ORDER, ISN'T IT? I don't know if there is anyone in the Family qualified for the task. At present, Timothy is with Peter & continuing to help us with some of the KQS correspondence at a distance, but we do not know how long this can last. Also, it is not sufficient‚ since we need to be in more direct contact where we can advise & counsel together with whomever is going to be working on top administration & decision-making with us.
15. SO YOU CAN SEE THE PROBLEM. We want to ask you, Kenaz‚ if you have any ideas at all of any one who might fill this hole that has been left by Timothy. To be honest, we had thought of two people, & one of them was you, but both of you have wives & families whom you love dearly, & we could not ask to take you away from them.
16. WE DO NOT FEEL IT WOULD BE FAIR TO YOU OR THEM, & as in Timothy's case, probably would not be a permanently workable arrangement. But we would like you to let us know immediately if you can think of anyone who could possibly be trained for this job or who might work out.
17. WE WILL PRAY ABOUT ANYONE YOU SUGGEST. In the meantime, please pray with us that the Lord will supply the right person to help us in these very important responsibilities. We love you very much & are praying for you. Please let us know if there is anything else we can do for you. Love a Prayers, Maria.
Dear Timothy, (RE: HIS REFUSAL TO SIGN THE "NEBUCHADNEZZAR" LETTER)9 February 1979
18. SON, WE WERE QUITE SURPRISED to find that you had told Emanuele of your refusal to sign our ("Nebuchadnezzar") Letter to Rachel. We really feel this was just like betraying a confidence which we ourselves had not even planned to tell anybody because we didn't want to betray you. However, Son, if you are going to continue going around advertising to others why you are no longer with us, giving only your side of the story, then we also are going to have to talk about it.
19. WE WANT YOU TO READ MARIA'S LETTER TO KENAZ to show you that we weren't trying to expose you at all, but instead as a dear friend we were trying to excuse you & protect you & say that it was because of your family‚ which is largely true. But if you are going to go around telling everybody your side of the story, then we're going to have to tell our side‚ right?
20. ALL WE HAVE BEEN TELLING PEOPLE IS THAT YOU JUST COULDN'T STAND TO BE SEPARATED FROM YOUR FAMILY, & that we don't blame you for it. We did not think that it was good for you nor your relationship with us‚ nor your further effectiveness in working in any capacity within the Family to expose your disagreement with us.
21. BUT IF YOU ARE GOING TO GO AROUND EXPOSING YOURSELF in your own context of interpretation of the incident, we shall be compelled to tell people what really happened, including your loyalty to Rachel & your disagreement with us.
22. SON, IF YOU WANT TO CONTINUE WORKING IN THE FAMILY at all, you are going to have to stop spreading around your self-justification for doing what you did. I had hoped to spare you & keep you useful to the Lord & His Work, but if you are going to go against us behind our backs, like you apparently did with Emanuele, we certainly can't trust you with any thing if your loyalty to them is greater than your loyalty to us, as proved by your refusal to sign that Letter & your betrayal of confidence to Emanuele.
23. WE HAD HOPED THAT YOU COULD WORK TOGETHER THERE WITH PETER in virtually the same capacity‚ but if you are going to continue to advertise your disagreement with us, we don't see how we can possibly work together even at a distance.
24. AS FAR AS WE ARE CONCERNED, TO PREVENT ANY FURTHER MISUNDERSTANDINGS & disagreements & disunity, we will have to ask that you write a letter to us & to Emanuele & to Rachel apologising for not signing the "Nebuchadnezzar" Letter, & saying that you are sorry & that you have changed your mind about it & that you do heartily agree with it—that word of it is true!
25. —AND THAT YOU ARE GLAD THAT WE WROTE IT BECAUSE YOU FEEL RACHEL NEEDED IT & it needed to be written, & that if she has not repented it needs to be published to expose her & to warn the Family of her disloyalty. If you cannot find it within you to write such a letter of apology & recantation, then perhaps you would rather go back to work with Rachel.
26. WE'RE SORRY, & WE DIDN'T WANT TO MAKE AN ISSUE OF THIS, but by your continued added disagreement & publication of your views to others like Emanuele, you are forcing us to make you take a stand one way or the other, for or against us.
27. WE CONSIDER THAT YOUR CONTINUED DISAGREEMENT WITH THE "NEBUCHADNEZZAR" LETTER is a continued stand against us unless you write the suggested letter of apology & recantation. Otherwise you are bound to continue to defend yourself & justify your position against ours, & we do not consider this good for leadership unity nor Family harmony.
28. WE'RE SORRY, TIMOTHY, BUT WE ARE GOING TO HAVE TO INSIST THAT YOU TAKE A STAND one way or the other, for or against that "Nebuchadnezzar" Letter, & show your true colours & exactly where you are at, either for or against us, & to whom you feel the greatest loyalty, to us or to Rachel.
29. WE CAN NO LONGER HAVE YOU WAVERING BETWEEN THE TWO: "For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind & tossed. For let not that man think that he shall receive anything of the Lord. A double-minded man is unstable in all his ways." (Ja.1:6-8.)
30. "CHOOSE YE THIS DAY WHOM YE WILL SERVE!" (Jos.24:15.) If I am right & the Letter was right, then serve us. If not, then serve Rachel. "How long will ye go halting between two opinions?" (1Ki.18:21.) "No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, & love the other; or else he will hold to the one, & despise the other." (Ma.6:24.)
31. RACHEL HAS DESERTED US & YOU CANNOT BE LOYAL TO US BOTH! This time you are going to have to take a clear–cut stand one way or the other. Your days of divided loyalty are over! Either you are for us or against us.—You cannot be both.—Sorry.
32. PLEASE WRITE THE SUGGESTED LETTER OF APOLOGY & send it to us immediately‚ declaring your stand clearly without any qualifications, & send us a copy first for our approval before sending it to Rachel & Emanuele, or we shall have to consider other plans for you & your services.—"How can two walk together except they be agreed?" (Am.3:33.)
33. IF YOU ARE WILLING TO WRITE SUCH A LETTER OF APOLOGY & agreement, we will be happy to drop the matter there, & go on working together in greater unity than ever before for the Glory of the Lord & His Kingdom, & we sincerely hope that this will be the case, because we love you & you are a good man & a faithful worker, if you can just get your priorities straightened out!
34. WE PASS THIS MESSAGE ON TO YOU WITH OUR LOVE, concern & prayers for your future ministry & service for the Lord.—In Jesus' name.—Love, Dad & Maria.
Dearest Dad & Maria: TIM'S APOLOGY!11–2-79
GBY! I LOVE YOU & MISS YOU BOTH so very much. Thank you so very much for sending Peter with the latest Letters from the Lord, especially I would like to thank you for your letter to me—it hurt real good. Maybe I can quote a Family song:
"Don't be sad,
I love you Dad,
You're spankings make us glad."
Thank you for your spanking. I needed it & I hope you will accept my apologies in this letter.
I AM TRULY THANKFUL THAT YOU ARE GIVING ME THIS OPPORTUNITY TO WRITE the letter you suggested, as I wanted more than anything to restore unity & harmony so we can go on working together‚ & to repair the damage that I have done & completely clear up this matter. I hope I am interpreting your suggestion correctly as I begin writing the letter unitedly to yourself, Rachel & Emanuele, rather than separate letters.
I LOVE YOU ALL VERY MUCH & AM SO THANKFUL for all the precious time I got to spend with you. I can never repay you for all your love & help. I only hope I can be useful to you & the Lord to help His Kingdom to spread upon the whole Earth. Love always, Your sorry son, Timothy
Dear Dad & Maria, Emanuele & Rachel12-2-79
GBY! ILY! I WANTED TO TAKE THE OPPORTUNITY IN THIS LETTER TO APOLOGISE to all of you for not signing the recent Letter, the "Nebuchadnezzar Revelation," when I had the opportunity to sign it. I am very sorry I made the very foolish mistake in hesitating to sign it, as I see now how serious it was.
I CERTAINLY AGREE WHOLEHEARTEDLY WITH THE LETTER & I am so sorry I caused so much disunity. I am very glad that you, Dad, made the very difficult decision to publish it for Rachel's sake‚ as well as for the whole Family. I pray it will help you, Rachel, to make you the vessel the Lord wants you to be.
I KNOW THE FAMILY WORLDWIDE WILL GREATLY APPRECIATE THE LETTER, as I know they needed this warning & it will truly sober everyone else‚ as it did me. I know there is no way to undo the damage already done by my not signing the Letter.
I ONLY HOPE & PRAY THAT THIS LETTER OF APOLOGY WILL IN SOME WAY EXPRESS MY SORROW for my mistakes & help restore unity & harmony so we can truly work together in greater unity than ever before for the glory of God & His Kingdom.
Much love & prayers always for all of you, Timothy
Dearest Dad & Maria: TIM RESIGNS!4-3-79
God bless you!—I love you so very much & have been praying for both your health & safety. (Dad: —Thanks!) We just got the good news that you're feeling better Dad & were even planning on taking a walk! PTL! Answer to our prayers!!
I hardly know where to begin this letter as it is a very difficult one to write. (Dad: Why?—Pro.13:15.) But‚ after praying earnestly about the situation here, I feel the necessity to convey to you my honest sentiments. I did learn, during my year of working so close to you, that you always wanted to hear my honest feelings & thoughts on any matter, & appreciated hearing it, for which I was so thankful. (Dad: —Amen.) So knowing this, I feel the freedom to share with you about the situation I now find myself in.
I am extremely thankful to you & the Lord for accepting my apologies for my recent mistakes. I was so glad to talk to you Dad & hear your personal word on this.—Thank you very much. (Dad: —Amen.)
I also want to express my gratitude for your kindness with me & my family in spite of the way I failed you. (Dad: —You're always a big help, Son.) I certainly didn't deserve it nor do I deserve your present deep personal concern about me & my welfare.—Thank you.—It's much more than I deserve. (Dad: —It's not charity‚ Son—we need you.—It's a big job!)
As a matter of fact, it has been bothering me quite a bit & has been the subject of a great deal of labour in prayer. And so, it is my situation here which I wanted to write you about. I do understand‚ probably better than most, the heavy financial strain which WS is undergoing, & know it is a heavy burden on the work for me to accept your hospitality & the generous budget which you have given me for the support of my quite large family. (Dad: —It's never a strain when you pull your share of the load, which you do.) At the same time, I realise that there are many people in the Family—even single brothers & sisters—who could do my present job (Dad: —We hope so.), at a much reduced expense to WS.
Therefore, I'd like to ask, & hope for your agreement, to be relieved of my responsibilities here (Dad: —That's up to you. Hope you're not failing God & His Work.) to go out by faith & continue to spread His Love to the world as a small indigenous Home somewhere within this wonderful Family. (Dad: —PTL!) As a matter of fact, after so many years in the administrational side of the Family, I feel it would be quite a challenge, especially during this exciting NRS period of our growth. Due to my previous responsibilities, which I am so grateful for, I have been unable to make a move such as this. But now, the moment seems ripe & the opportunity present—& I'm getting excited about the unscaled mountains ahead. (Dad: PTL! As you wish.—Everybody needs a change now & then.)
As far as our definite plans—we don't really have any. We did feel that perhaps a short Homegoing is in order now. We recently received a letter from Deborah's mother offering us roundtrip tickets to come & see her father, who the doctors say doesn't have long to live. He's been asking to see Deb before he dies, as he hasn't seen her in six years, not any of the grandchildren. He is scheduled to get out of the hospital at the end of this month, so they asked if we could perhaps make it soon. We have never considered visiting them, due to our responsibilities since we came to Europe six years ago, & had to forego it during the recent Homegoing—so maybe we could make this trip now. (Dad: —Amen! Have a good time!—Hope to see you back!)
I wanted to ask whether it might be possible for us to keep the equivalent of month's budget from the reserves I'm holding to help us get started. It sure would be a tremendous blessing & we would appreciate it enormously. (Dad: —Of course!—Help yourself!—You deserve it for faithful years of service!)
If there is anything else that I might be forgetting or any details left undone, please let me know & I'll try to take care of them as soon as possible. (Dad: —Wish you could encourage poor Emanuele!—And scold Rachel!—You should've socked it to her!)
I love you so very much & am so thankful for everything you've done & are continuing to do for me personally & the whole world. I will continue to keep in touch via the address here & let you know the exciting things the Lord is doing for us. Love always, Your son, Timothy.
35. (Dad: —Amen. PTL! GBY! Hope you'll find a place of service where you'll be happier.—Sorry you're not content in this one with the Worldwide Mail Ministry‚ which I expect to become one of our greatest ministries & which you could've helped make possible.—However, thanks for helping get it started. I know it doesn't seem very glamourous or glorious at the moment, but that's how I began—writing, mimeoing, folding, stuffing, sealing, stamping & keeping files & records of our mailing list which supported us for many years.—It was our beginning, & I expect our present push of WWMM is just the start of our greatest ministry yet!—Sorry it doesn't appeal added to you.
36. (—It's already added nearly 150 new Homes with about 200 new Members!—And reclaiming lots of old friends & Family Members—the lost sheep! PTL!—But sorry you're not interested in this type of work.—You could've been a great help & blessing.
37. (—But we know Deb is not content, & we just hope she's not leading you astray—from His highest & best.—But He'll always use you somewhere, if you're willing.
38. (—We just hope you're not trading your birthright for a mess of pottage "because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife"!—Gen.3:17.—Hope she's not bringing about your downfall, as so many good men!—Sorry.—But I have to deliver my soul & warn you, as you know.—God has certainly given you your chance—one of the biggest in the world!—Hope you haven't let another steal your crown!—Like Rachel is doing!—What a sad loss to His Kingdom!—But I fear it will be a place of repentance, unlike Esau!—Heb.12:15-17.—Read it, Son.
39. (May God bless & keep you and your little ones in His Service. Praying for you.
—Love,—Dad, 15 March 1979.)
PHONE CALL: TIM DEPARTS!21-3–79
Dearest Dad & Maria‚
GBY! I LOVE YOU & I am so happy that all went so well with the birth of baby Techi. We were really in desperate prayer for you. We were so flipped out at the news & delighted to hear both mother & baby are doing so well. I sure would love to see a photo if it would be possible.
I WANTED TO THANK YOU‚ DAD, for your comments back on my letter. I appreciate it very much. After much prayer about the situation we have made some decisions & plans. As this is a phone message, I'll be as brief as possible.
WE HAVE DECIDED TO TRY & MAKE THE VISIT TO THE STATES—which I mentioned in my previous letter—trying to arrive before Easter in order to catch our families when they are united for the Easter season.
IN THE MEANTIME, WE HAVE BEEN OFFERED THE USE OF A HOUSE which Daniele is trying to sell near La Spezia (Italy, near Rachel) as a landing base. He had told Angela that we were welcome to use it if we wanted, but we told her we were waiting before making any plans. Your news about Rachel & Emanuele was very sad. I hope that I might be able to talk with Emanuele & encourage him as you suggested.
REGARDING TIMING, we found out that Daniele is leaving on a trip this weekend, after which he won't be able to open the house for us. Therefore, we are hoping to be able to leave on Saturday to meet him, & then, Lord willing, leave to the States from Milano soon after, returning within a month. I realise it is a bit of a short notice, but conditions seem to set certain limitations.
I WANTED TO TELL YOU HOW GRATEFUL I AM for all you have done‚ but words cannot express it. I sincerely was very happy with the work with the WWMM. It is exciting & I'm sure it will prove ever more so in the future. But, as you said in your letter: "Everybody needs a change once in awhile" & I guess this is my "once in awhile."
THANKS SO VERY MUCH FOR YOUR GENEROSITY in allowing us to keep this month's budget to help us get started. It will be a real help. Thank you. I will keep in close touch via the address here & let you know what the latest news is. We really want to be a real blessing to His wonderful Love to many others. My deepest love, prayers & thanks always, Your son, Timothy.
40. (DAD: SO ENDS AN ERA!—Timothy was a great help to us for a whole year, but he never seemed to be able to break his ties with Rachel & Deb.—Maybe it was asking too much—but that's what God expects!—Mt.10:34-39.
41. (SO‚ ONE LAYS DOWN THE CROSS, another takes it up! One for sakes the crown, another cherishes it! One deserts his birthright, another inherits it! Ye cannot serve two masters! For all the Queen's (Rachel's) houses (money) & all the Queen's men can't put Timothy together again! So sad to say he is no longer with us, nor WS Servant.—But Techi is! Hallelujah!—Will you stay true?)