29 JAN., 1979DO 763
DEAR RACHEL & EMANUELE,
—(Written 7 Dec. 1978, but never sent, although I worried & wept for weeks over it! Wish now I had sent it then, but it has now been sent, Feb. 1979.—Let's hope it does some good, for Rachel is now backslidden & has left the Family & her husband for a rich fish!—God help her to get back to the Lord as Nebuchadnezzar did!—In Jesus' name, amen.)
1. GREETINGS IN JESUS' PRECIOUS NAME! Thank you so much for all your precious notes, reports & so on‚ & we wish you a very Merry Christmas & a wonderfully happy New Year in the Lord's Service! Thank you particularly‚ Emanuele, for your very faithful service to your Southern European, Asian & African KQS during this past year of your appointment.
2. YOU HAVE TRULY DONE YOUR BEST WITH A TREMENDOUS JOB that was almost too big for anyone, but especially without much help from Rachel, due to her pregnancy, illnesses & FFing. It would have been an oversized job even for the two of you, but without her help, it has been almost more than you can possibly carry alone.
3. WE UNDERSTAND, RACHEL, THAT YOU ARE UNABLE TO ANY LONGER BE THE GREAT QUEEN that you once were, & prefer now no title nor official capacity in the Family whatsoever, nor even a KQS, nor to help your husband in his, but simply prefer to be occupied with your personal family affairs & your personal FFing, & to care for big fish rather than little sheep.
4. WHEN APPOINTING YOU AS KQSs OF THE LARGEST AREA IN THE WORLD nearly a ago in Madrid at the time of the RNR, I told you then, Rachel, that you would have to be a very good wife to your husband & help him all you could in order to help him handle such a tremendous task. However, due to your ill health, pregnancy‚ FFing‚ etc., it has seemed difficult for you to do so, if not impossible.
5. THEREFORE, SINCE A KQS IN ANY AREA REQUIRES THE FULL-TIME & ENTIRE ENERGIES & CONCENTRATION OF BOTH HUSBAND &WIFE OR MATE‚ it seems to us that it would be very difficult for you & Emanuele to carry on this overly large SEAAKQS responsibility under the present circumstances.
6. AS FOR YOU, EMANUELE‚ YOU HAVE DONE AMAZINGLY WELL, & certainly the very best that you could with so little help from Rachel, & we have no complaints regarding your services. However, we do feel that under the present circumstances this is not a good situation nor a very good example of teamwork to the rest of the Family & their officers, & we feel it would be most difficult for you to continue in this fashion.
7. I PERSONALLY HAVE GRIEVED & WEPT & PRAYED A GREAT DEAL OVER YOUR ATTITUDE, RACHEL, & I'm now actually sick in bed over it as I write you this difficult letter! It seems to us that since your RNR demotion because of your former Chain policies, that now‚ since you cannot be a "Great Queen," you don't want to be anything.
8. THIS, IT SEEMS TO US‚ IS A VERY POOR EXAMPLE OF HUMILITY TO THE FAMILY, A LACK OF THE ABILITY to be willing to take chastening & correction for past mistakes, & we are very sorry that you seem to be offended by all these new RNR changes.
9. HOWEVER, THE FAMILY IS GOING ON AS BEST IT CAN with its new "proletarian leadership," as you call it, & most of the formerly despised "grassroots" seem to be very happy about it now.
10. THEREFORE, SINCE WE LIKE TO HAVE FREEDOM IN THE FAMILY & let people do what they really want to do, & you have expressed your desire to do nothing but FFing & have no other responsibilities, we hardly see how you can be of sufficient help to Emanuele for him to be able to carry on his very strenuous responsibilities as head of the largest KQS in the world without you!
11. AS I TOLD YOU IN MADRID WHEN BEING APPOINTED (& DEMOTED!), the success of your co-leadership as KQSs would depend upon your cooperation with him. But, since you have not seen fit nor been able to give him this cooperation because of your numerous pregnancies, illnesses, other companions & FFing‚ it seems to us that it would now be nearly impossible for him to continue to carry this great load alone without your full-time help & very active assistance.
12. THEREFORE, SINCE THE SOUTHERN EUROPEAN, ASIAN & AFRICAN KQS HAS LONG BEEN TOO LARGE for almost anyone to properly care for‚ we're planning to create a new KQS of the Mideast, Africa & Asia under the leadership of Kenaz & Hodiah in India, who've proven extremely faithful & worked very diligently in a supervisory field capacity with no title & very little needed authority.
13. THIS WILL GIVE THEM THE TITLE & AUTHORITY NEEDED to carry out their extremely heavy responsibilities of a very broad mission field embracing two continents, & relieving the KQS of Southern Europe of this huge responsibility.
14. AND SINCE YOU, RACHEL, DO NOT SEEM TO BE INCLINED NOR ABLE TO HELP EMANUELE with the Southern European KQS as a very active participant in its responsibilities, we feel that we should, in all mercy & consideration, relieve you both of this very heavy burden, & assign your capabilities to a more limited area which you could capably manage, & in which you're personally very interested & involved already & where you actually reside—that of Italy itself.
15. PERHAPS IF YOUR RESPONSIBILITIES, RACHEL, ARE CLOSER AT HOME YOU'D TAKE A GREATER INTEREST in helping Emanuele with the supervision of that area as you once did in good times past, "The Good O1' Days!", & we hope you will do as good a job of it together as you once did then.
16. WE DO NOT BLAME YOU AT ALL, EMANUELE, FOR ANY OF THIS, but we rather think it was Rachel's own physical disabilities, her lack of personal interest in the task, her distraction by other interests, as well as her simple spiritual failure to help you with so great a job as she was given.
17. SO WE ARE HOPING & PRAYING that with the more limited responsibility of Italy alone‚ closer to home, that she will take a greater interest in helping you & making your job easier to do. (Sad to say she did not‚ but forsook both him & the Family!)
18. THANKS AGAIN FOR ALL OF YOUR HELP & love & faithful service throughout the years past, & we hope this lightening of your load will now make it easier for you both to enjoy your continued responsibilities in the service of the Lord's Family in the future. (Sorry, but it didn't!—She left both her husband, home & Family!)
19. SO‚ HAIL ONCE AGAIN TO THE KING & QUEEN OF ITALY‚ as in days of yore!—Or would you prefer that it only be Duke & Duchess, so that you won't have such great titles to try to live up to? You once did a very good job of Italy, & we do hope that you will again. GBY & keep you & continue to make you a blessing!—Okay? Thanks!
20. MEANWHILE‚ EVERYBODY'S BEEN WONDERING WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THE GREAT QUEEN?! We've even begun to wonder about the "Great Queen Prophecy" itself‚ whether it has already been fulfilled, or whether it really applied to you or not, or perhaps to someone else, or even the Family—His New Bride, the "New Church"?!
21. BUT WHILE ASKING THIS QUESTION, THE LORD GAVE ME A WONDERFULLY ENCOURAGING ANSWER, PTL! Although you have presently abandoned your tasks‚ Rachel, He has not abandoned nor disinherited you, but still has great things in store for you—after He has taught you humility‚ true sacrifice & genuine "mercy for the poor"!
22. HE GAVE ME DANIEL 4, THE STORY OF KING NEBUCHADNEZZAR'S HUMILIATION & THE HUMBLING OF HIS PRIDE until he acknowledged God was supreme, & that only God made him what he was—not his own title, power nor wealth—& God could also take it all away if he failed to give God the glory!
23. HE COULD EVEN GIVE THE KINGDOM TO THE "BASEST OF MEN", the "proletarians" or the "grassroots", as you call them, which you yourself once were, but now in pride seem to despise!—And it was with them—the "grassroots"—that God put the proud King for seven years to learn the lesson of showing "mercy to the poor"!
24. IT WAS AFTER ALL, YOUR OWN LACK OF "MERCY ON THE POOR" LITNESSERS WHICH CAUSED THE RNR & YOUR OWN DEMOTION! I was thrilled to hear that the Lord had already given you something on Nebuchadnezzar's bitter experience yourself, which shows His Spirit is faithful, PTL!—But I got this before I even heard of it!
25. PLEASE READ DANIEL 4 & PARTICULARLY NOTE VERSES 15, 17, 26, 27, 29-31 & 34-37, & we pray that the Lord will give you the grace to bear it!—His loving chastening of a proud Aries daughter whom we all love very dearly & pray for earnestly.
26. I WAS ASKING THE LORD THE OTHER DAY how you could have become so interested in the needs of your big rich fish but so deaf, dumb & blind to the pitiful cries of your poor little sheep (like Angela!) & I got an immediate answer!—You are deluded by the "deceitfulness of riches"! (Mt. 13:22.) So our prayer for you is the prayer of the Prophet himself in verse 27:
27. MAY GOD BRING YOU TO REPENTANCE & MERCY FOR THE POOR!—And may He have mercy on poor little you, bless & keep you, come what may! We all love you very dearly & are praying fervently for you, that if possible you may return to His fold before He has to deal so drastically with you as He did with Nebuchadnezzar!
28. NO, I CANNOT CHANGE YOU—NEITHER CAN YOU!—BUT GOD CAN!—And He will, thank the Lord! Please let us hear from you as to how the Lord is dealing with you in these matters.—And please let us hear from you as soon as possible, Emanuele, as to whether you are willing to accept this old/new responsibility of Italy alone.—Thanks!
29. THANK YOU BOTH VERY MUCH WITH ALL OUR HEARTS for all of your love & help in times past, & we trust that this shall continue in the future until Jesus comes!—In Jesus' name‚ amen.
30. YOURS FOREVER IN HIS LOVING SERVICE,—DAVID, MARIA & THE FAMILY
(A sweet heartbreaking note from Emanuele, about Rachel's leaving him & us!)
16 Jan., 1979
GBY & GREETING IN JESUS' PRECIOUS NAME!—Thank you so much for sending Tim with your message of love & prayers in this vary hard moment of my life. I don't want to slip emotionally into a "poor me" spirit, as every time I seek the Lord He gives me a "greater victory" for which I am very thankful.
IT'S FORSAKING ALL & DYING DAILY, so I feel the Lord & His blessings pouring on me in a measure that certainly I don't deserve: nice small warm sunny home, two sweet beautiful daughters to train in the way they should go & a humble & hard working couple to help.
—AS FAR AS RACHEL IS CONCERNED, I got the verses "Cast your bread upon the waters & after many days you shall find it," & "Open thou mine eyes that I may behold wonderous things out of Thy Law." I hope the days won't be too "many", but I know I couldn't live with her lovingly now in the state she is in.
—IT'S LIKE I HAVE TO "OPEN MY EYES" TO SEE HOW FAR SHE HAS GONE ASTRAY & not be tempted by her accusations of being a "zombie." Yet at the same time I have my load of faults in all this, & I need to see how Rachel can come out of this purified & a more loving wife & mother, which she cannot be now—lessons which only God can teach her. What you just said about her having to eat grass now, but that she will come back, really encouraged me.
MY DEVOTION‚ LOVE & THANKS FOREVER,
(The below letter is from Rachel, sent before she received above letter—crossed in transit.)
Dearest David & Maria,Jan. 26, 19796 a.m.
GOD BLESS YOU BOTH & WARMEST GREETINGS IN JESUS' NAME. You have both been so much in my thoughts & prayers. I am sorry for my delay in writing. It got put off for one reason or another in these recent hectic weeks, & finally tonight. I was so burdened I got out of bed to write to you. There is so much I would like to share with you, I hardly know where to begin.
FIRST OF ALL, I GUESS I SHOULD EXPLAIN EMANUELE'S & MY DECISION FOR A SEPARATION. As you well know our relationship has deteriorated greatly over the past years. Much of this, if not most of this, I realise is very much my fault. (Yes—Emanuele did not want you to go.)
THROUGH A SERIES OF EVENTS (the main one being my drastic illness & nearly going to be with the Lord), I realized many of my faults, sins, & mistakes. I also realized that I wasn't prepared to go & face the Lord‚ & I am super thankful for another chance to serve Him. The Lord has really been working in my heart & very lovingly & mercifully showing me my mistakes & where & how I need to change. (By deserting us all?!)
THE LORD CALLED ME in such a beautiful & radical way in the first place, asking me to drop everything to follow Him, & I feel He is requiring this again, now 10 years later‚ in probably an even greater way, as in "Greater Victories". As, "Having begun in the spirit it's impossible to become perfect in the flesh", I finally started seeing so clearly some of my problems which you have been trying to point out to me for the past few years now. (I wish you could!)
YOUR ADVICE, TELLING ME TO RETURN to be like I used to be, rang through my head so many times. It was so clear & so simple, but for some reason I have just recently understood. In other words, "Let go & follow God", & have that daring faith which caused me to start serving God in the first place! (Yes—with the Family!—Not with a stranger who leads you astray!)
I FEEL SO ASHAMED OF MYSELF for drifting so far from the Lord's true, simple, & pure principles of love & faith & instead putting myself under the unbearable heavy yoke of man pleasing, which was breeding in me fear of failure & spiritual impotency. (Pleasing what man?—Not me!)
I FEEL LIKE I'VE BEEN SITTING ON THE FENCE of indecision for about two years now. And my God, it's such a horrible place to be! Poor Emanuele, living with me for these past years must have been hell on earth! I know it has been for me. (You've made it Hell for us all!)
SEPARATING FROM HIM has made me feel more genuine love & concern for him than I have had in years. I realised that since I was being obliged to live with him I was blaming so many of my own problems on our "Relationship" & the fact that I had to live with him. (Who made you?—God?)
THIS OF COURSE IS RIDICULOUS, but at least during this separation we are both getting far enough out of the situation to see the "forest for the trees." I am personally seeking the Lord desperately at this time for His direction in my life, as my greatest desire is to stay in tune with Him & to love others. (Who?—Certainly not your husband & the Family whom you've left!)
I GUESS IN A WAY, YOU LOVED & SPOILED ME so much for so long, when the time came for me to grow up & cut a few of the apron strings‚ the transition was really a shock to me. Anyway, I beg you to forgive me for all of the problems & heartache that I'm sure I must have caused you.
BASICALLY‚ AFTER TRYING FOR SUCH A LONG TIME, I JUST DON'T FEEL CAPABLE of making the needed changes in my life while living together with Emanuele. So at this point I just pray that we can both go on for the Lord & learn the lessons that He has for us. (You sure will!)
I, & FOUR OF THE CHILDREN, WITH THREE HELPERS, ARE PRESENTLY LIVING WITH A VERY DEAR FRIEND who has offered his help & protection. We are in a drop-in situation & very much living your advice from the most recent Letters, including nationalisation & going underground. Praise the Lord! Emanuele has been watching over the Italian VSs from his home in __________, & I see them occasionally here in Italy. (I & the Lord warned you to leave Italy!—This is desertion!)
DEAR MARIA, I PRAY SO MUCH FOR YOUR SAFE & EASY DELIVERY. I can't tell you how burdened I've been for both of you & pray that you are in good health. Please don't worry about me—just keep me in your prayers as I have to step out by faith & follow the Lord, or I'll end up as a washed up old bottle. May God forbid! I love you David so very much & will never be able to thank you enough for all you've done for me. (It would help if you'd obey!)
MY HEART IS SO FULL of things to tell you, I could go on & on, but instead I'll keep this short & to the point so that I won't delay its arrival any longer. Please let me know if I can help you in any way. (Obey! Rejoin your husband, the Family‚ God, your job & care for your sheep!
MUCH MUCH LOVE & PRAYERS, Rachel
(Typed by Pat‚ 30 Jan.‚ 1979.)
31. (1 Feb.‚ '79)—DAD: THIS IS SADLY TYPICAL OF THE USUAL RATIONALISATION OF BACKSLIDING, & the pitiful twisting of the Scriptures & my Letters, for self-vindication & excuses for the errors of her ways!—Emanuele was the fish God gave her to love & guide in God's work—not an enemy!
32. IN NONE OF MY LETTERS HAVE I EVER ADVISED ANYONE TO DESERT THEIR GOD-APPOINTED HUSBAND & small children, break up their home & family, leave their God-appointed job & His Family, disobey me & the Lord‚ forsake the fellowship of His children & His will, nor a shepherdess to flee from her poor sheep just to go live with an extremely rich fish who rips her off!
33. THIS IS SURELY THE "DECEITFULNESS OF RICHES," as God Himself has already described her waywardness!—Apparently only the judgements of Nebuchadnezzar will humble & waken this proud fallen Queen to the Truth! May God deal with her until she learns "mercy for the poor"! (Da.4:27.)—In Jesus' name, amen.—Emanuele & the Family were her job!—Read "Bell, Book & Candle"!
34. SHE HAS FORSAKEN BOTH ME & THE LORD & the Family & her husband & her children & her sheep & her job & God's will & the poor for the "deceitfulness of riches" of a man who can hardly be of God since he's led her astray! How deluded can you get? What a testimony!—Our former "Great Queen" has left her throne, King‚ Lord, husband & Family for a very worldly man! God help us!