—MOMarch 3, 1975NO.332C—DO
—Is This You?—Maiden Beware!
(A Picture—Reading of the father of a child of an unwed mother!)
P.O. Box 31, London WC2E 7LX, England or GPO Box 3141, San Juan‚ Puerto Rico 00936
1. IN SOME WAYS THIS BOY HAS A RATHER STRONG FACE along the he-man all–American-boy type. He'd probably go over as a heavy hero in an American movie, sort of the Robert Mitchum type. But he's more the easy going sort.—When I say strong face. I mean more on the physical side. These are better pictures than we have seen before.
2. THAT MUSTACHE CERTAINLY DIDN'T DO HIM ANY GOOD. He's a kind of an easygoing type that takes it pretty easy. He's kind of an easygoing type that takes it pretty easy. He doesn't really take things too seriously. He doesn't worry too much about things. That's probably why he didn't think having an affair with one of our secretaries was any big thing.
3. HE'S A SORT OF GENEROUS TYPE, generous mouth, but his eyes don't smile really, not even when he's smiling. There's a little hardness in his eyes like he's still really searching. There's a little skepticism there too, always making fun of things, laughing and joking and cutting up.
4. VERY INTELLIGENT TYPE and normally a very likeable agreeable type, good disposition, gets along well with people; friendly makes friends easily: kind of a happy–go-lucky fellow. He could have a real strong personality and I'd say a strong character if he were sufficiently motivated‚ serious and sobered by the Lord.
5. BUT IN A WAY RIGHT NOW HE TAKES THINGS TOO EASY, easy come easy go. He's the kind of a guy who would say, "Well sure, I'll sleep with you," but really doesn't worry or think too much about the consequences, and for that reason of course he's inclined to be almost a little irresponsible.
6. THERE COULD EVEN BE DEEP DOWN IN THERE SOMETHING THAT'S A LITTLE BIT DARK for some reason—almost a little bit sinister—like there's still some doubt there that he's not too sure about. When he does get real sober and thinks about it, he's a little skeptical about some things.
7. BUT NORMALLY HE'S AN AFFABLE FELLOW and just laughs it off, doesn't dwell on his doubts particularly like some people might. Like everything else, "Oh well, why worry about it." He's just the type that would have, when she flipped over him, said "Well little girl, it you're going to be that silly, it's okay with me!" But he certainly wouldn't take it seriously.
8. HE'S JUST THAT KIND OF A GUY that could live with her all that time, and yet all the time not be thinking anything of it‚ and still be planning to go live with someone else. But he's that typical type of he–man that just wows the women!—That hair-on-the-chest boy, very handsome in a way that women think—the all-man very-male kind of a guy that really turns women on sexually, big and strong.
9. HE JUST KNOWS HE'S GOOD–LOOKING and big and strong and handsome, of course he is! He just acknowledges the truth. He's rather self-confident most of the time, but he could be very loving and big-hearted and generous and lovable. I can certainly see why the women flip over him.
10. HIS EYES ARE A LITTLE PENETRATING. His eyes don't really trust anybody all the way. He's not too sure about you, he's a little wondering.—Could be the result of having been deeply hurt in the past, but he's the kind of person who would just try to toss it off and forget it, but it leaves its mark just the same. Down inside he's really never quite gotten over it.
11. I THINK HE'S LOOKING‚ REALLY PERHAPS LOOKING FOR REAL, REAL LOVE, DEEP LOVE—love he could really have confidence in—and these girls that just flip out over him, over his looks and sex, they sort of disgust him, because he's used to having women throw themselves at him. I think he'd like to find a woman who really did understand him and appreciate him and love him.
12. PERHAPS HE'S BEEN A LITTLE DISILLUSIONED ABOUT WOMEN because they can be a little silly and sickening sometimes, especially the kind that flip out over him, and our dear secretary was just the type to flip over him. "Oh my big strong he-man, my hero!" But she's more apt to idolise him rather than to idealise him, sort of worshipping him as a type and particularly physically, I think, rather than really understanding him deep down inside.
13. THIS SECRETARY'S INCLINED TO BE A LITTLE IMPULSIVE and make snap judgements on the surface, impatient and without really waiting and really, really looking deep into things. In a way she's sort of his same type, happy-go-lucky, doesn't take things too seriously or as seriously as she ought to. It's more of an infatuation thing with her.
14. I THINK IT'S BECAUSE SHE HASN'T REALLY LEARNED WHAT REAL LOVE IS YET. She flips in and out of love pretty often. But I think this boy is sincerely looking for really deep love, and he just doesn't see that kind of love in silly women who flip so easily over him‚ who are inclined to make fools of themselves over him.
15. BUT HE SORT OF TAKES IT OR LEAVES IT. He feels that if they want to make fools of themselves over him, that's up to them. He'll enjoy the delights and conveniences of it as long as it lasts. But after all‚ that's their affair, he figures.—And he doesn't really think there's much responsibility required on his part.—And in a way he's partly right.
16. THEY'RE KIND OF STUPID TO GET INVOLVED WITH HIM EMOTIONALLY WITHOUT BEING CAPABLE OF GETTING REALLY INVOLVED WITH HIM SPIRITUALLY. He's had a lot of emotional involvements and they don't mean much to him. It was mostly on the part of the women, they're the ones that flipped, and I think he probably thought it was even amusing. God bless him and help him Lord in Jesus' Name.
17. I THINK HE REALLY IS LOOKING FOR THE REAL THING, somebody deep spiritually, really deep down inside, not so frivolous and light and frothy. I'm afraid that when it comes to her emotional lovelife she's inclined to be a little bit shallow and he doesn't like this. He's looking for something deeper and better.
18. HIS EYES ARE VERY PIERCING AND PENETRATING. But that isn't necessarily something bad. He's just really, really looking. He really is trying to find what he's searching for‚ and he's been pretty disillusioned by a lot of people apparently. The right kind of woman‚ I believe, could really bring out the best in him, the strength in him that he really needs to have and to hold onto, someone he could really believe in.
19. BUT HE JUST DOESN'T REALLY CARE FOR THE KIND OF SILLY WOMAN who just wants emotional love affairs with hero idols. There's a little darkness there because he hasn't yet quite found the light he's looking for, the person he feels he could really trust in.
20. HE WANTS TO REALLY HAVE FAITH IN SOMEBODY, and it's a little hard for him to have faith in people. He must have been disappointed by some people. I think he's probably had plenty of women flip over him, dying to go to bed with him, but that's not what he's looking for.
21. IN FACT, THAT KIND OF WOMAN REALLY SORT OF DISGUSTS HIM, and he figures, they get just what they deserve. I think he sort of figures, "Well she got just what she wanted: She wanted the physical and she got the physical." I don't think there was much spiritual communication between them. See, women like that don't really love the person.
22. THEY DON'T REALLY KNOW WHAT LOVE IS, self-sacrificial undying love that wants to make somebody else happy.—They selfishly want to be made happy, and they figure this handsome hero, "He can really make me happy!" They really flip over men like this, selfishly really. They just want him.
23. IT'S ALMOST LIKE A LUST INSTEAD OF A LOVE, and he has a real contempt for that sort of thing. I think he has a feeling they're silly women who deserve to be taken captive. If that's all they want that's what they get. So he gives it to them. But he would have admired her a whole lot more if she'd refused to go to bed with him without real promises or commitment, because that's the kind of woman he's looking for.
24. HE CAN GET ANY NUMBER OF WOMEN TO GO TO BED WITH HIM, BUT HE'S GOING TO ADMIRE THE KIND OF WOMAN WHO WON'T GO TO BED WITH HIM unless he proves himself the kind of man he should be and wants to be and that's the kind of woman he's looking for. I really believe it.
25. THESE PICTURES REALLY HELP ME TO GET A LOT BETTER INSIGHT INTO HIS CHARACTER.—And he's showing up a whole lot better than I expected him to! He's got his side of the story too. What can you expect of him when these women throw themselves at him? He figures‚ "Well, damn it‚ I'll give them what they want and it's up to them to suffer the consequences!"
26. IN OTHER WORDS, "IF THEY DON'T WANT THE REAL ME DOWN INSIDE, IF THIS IS ALL THEY'RE CONCERNED ABOUT AND ONLY WANT MY BODY, WELL, LET'EM HAVE IT!" He enjoys their temporary physical companionship, I think, —it meets his physical needs. But that kind of woman just does not interest him deeply, really involve him deeply emotionally.
27. I WOULDN'T BE A BIT SURPRISED IF THAT OTHER GIRL HE WANTS TO GO BACK TO IS SOMEBODY HE REALLY ADMIRES SPIRITUALLY, in the spirit. He's had enough of the other kind. She may not even be much on looks, but he has the feeling she's the real thing. It could be somebody who even really loves the Lord more than she loves him, and that's what he'd really like to find—somebody he could believe in and trust in, and that's what he's looking for.
28. HE'S SICK OF WOMEN WHO LOVE HIM MORE THAN THEY LOVE GOD‚ because if they'd loved God enough they wouldn't have gotten involved with him without any commitment or promises and with no feeling of obligation or responsibility to their own baby to provide it with a father. All they wanted him for was their own self-satisfaction and made no real spiritual commitment to him or the results.
29. THAT KIND OF WOMEN ARE FLATTERED WHEN THIS KIND OF GUY GIVES THEM A TUMBLE, if he'll tumble into bed with them. They're the kind who want a big handsome hero to show off and say, "Behold, what a big boy have I!—Look at my hero! Didn't I do well for myself!" I hate to say this, but I believe that's the truth, and it's a shame because she is a real fine girl with some real strong qualities in other respects‚ but apparently she has a weakness for men.
30. SHE HAS A WEAKNESS FOR MEN AND SEX, I guess, and she just flips too easily over them. I think he'd really resent being tied to a woman like that. It would cause him to hate her, because he has a contempt for such women. He's disgusted with how easy they are, how easy they go to bed without any thought of the consequences. He's a little cynical. I think he'll never really be committed fully to anything or anybody until he finds what he's looking for.
31. HE WOULD ADMIRE THE KIND OF WOMAN WHO WOULD LOVE GOD MORE THAN SHE LOVES HIM. She should have shown some guts about her love of God and said, "No, I'm sorry.—You don't fit in my life or my picture and I don't see where you fit into my job, my service for God. I just don't see how you could particularly share my ministry or how we could work together in the field I am called to."
32. THEN HE WOULD HAVE HAD A LOT MORE ADMIRATION FOR HER IF SHE'D PUT THE LORD AND GOD'S WORK ABOVE HIM, but she really didn't. She really let him interfere with her work, knowing he was going to leave her.—And if you put anybody above God's Work, then you're really putting them above the Lord. You can't serve two masters.
33. SHE PUT THE SERVICE OF THE FLESH ABOVE THE SERVICE OF THE SPIRIT, and she's going to have the fruit of it to take care of from now on, which is really going to be a handicap to her work. Now if she'd married somebody where they're working together and both serving the Lord in the same field‚ then the baby is a blessing and a gift of God and something they can mutually enjoy.
34. BUT A SINGLE WOMAN WHO IS A FULL TIME SECRETARY IS GOING TO HAVE A HARD TIME TAKING CARE OF A BABY WITH NO HUSBAND TO HELP—no husband, period—much less a husband working in the same field. She's apt to find her baby is more of a handicap than a help!
35. I WISH THIS GUY HAD GOTTEN INTERESTED IN OUR KIND OF WORK OR DEPARTMENT. He's a very likeable sort of fellow. But I don't think he's the kind of guy that likes to be tied down at a desk or table. I think he's a wanderer, likes freedom. I don't think he'd want to be bored with the monotony of a steady hardworking job or any kind like ours. He likes the easy going life too much‚ like the life of a musician, here today, gone tomorrow, new horizons!
36. I WONDER WHAT THE OTHER GIRL WILL THINK ABOUT HIM HAVING A GIRL LEFT BEHIND THAT HE'S MADE PREGNANT? If she's the kind of girl he admires and really wants her to love him, he probably wouldn't want her to know about it. With that kind of girl he'd be ashamed of an affair, because the type of girl he's looking for wouldn't take that kind of thing lightly and wouldn't want him to take it lightly.
37. SO WHEN ALL THE CHIPS ARE DOWN AND THE TRUTH IS OUT, HE MAY FIND HIMSELF LEFT OUT IN THE COLD AFTER ALL because he was a little too free and easy!—And that's rather sad‚ because that would embitter him even more, because he really wants somebody to love him and have a deep concern for him and faith in him.
38. BUT WHEN HE FINDS OUT THAT BECAUSE OF HIS FICKLENESS NOBODY CAN HAVE TOO MUCH FAITH IN HIM OR TRUST HIM‚ that's going to be apt to discourage him, cause him to lose faith in himself, and he's had a lot of self-confidence. This may be what he needs, what it takes to break him, because he's not broken yet.
39. MAYBE THIS OTHER LITTLE GIRL WILL REALLY BREAK HIS HEART LIKE HE'S BROKEN A LOT OF HEARTS, and maybe he'll be driven to the Lord and learn to love the Lord more than himself. He's never loved these women very much, so I can't say "more than women." But he's loved himself quite a bit and has sometimes felt like God's gift to women, especially the way the women treated him. They made him feel like that.
40. BUT HE NEEDS TO HAVE THAT COCKY SELF-CONFIDENCE DESTROYED AND THAT CONCEIT. A child might be the very thing he needs‚ maybe the first thing in his life he ever loved unselfishly sacrificially. A child might do for him what he really needs done—humble him to realise that he really needs God to be a good father.
41. ALTHOUGH I DON'T THINK OUR SECRETARY REALLY DESERVES HIM BECAUSE OF HER FOOLISHNESS. She did the sort of thing he doesn't admire.—But it might help to break her and humble her and cause her to love the Lord more than anything else if she had to live with a guy that hates her guts and hates being tied down with her and doesn't even particularly like to be tied down with a child.
42. BUT STILL I THINK MAYBE A CHILD WOULD BRING OUT THE BEST IN HIM and I think he'd really want to be a good father. I think maybe he'd be good with kids‚ the kind that would like to play with them and teach them. So it might just serve to bring them all closer to the Lord and make them all love God more than themselves if they were made to feel their responsibility to that child.
43. THEY NO LONGER HAVE ANY CHOICE IN THE MATTER, GOD'S MADE THE DECISION: HE'S MADE THEM A MOTHER AND FATHER and now they're going to have to live up to it whether they like it or not and whether they like each other or not. They're going to have to live up to it for the child's sake, and that may be exactly what they both need to bring them down off their Cloud Nine and face the facts of life and both learn to live for somebody else besides themselves.
44. SO IT COULD BE THIS IS WHAT THE LORD MEANT BY THAT SCRIPTURE He gave our secretary: The Lord is going to have to break his heart and break him and humble him and bring him back a different man, a changed man, a man of faith who loves God more than himself and loves God's work and somebody else, and puts that consideration above his own selfish desires.
45. SO WHO KNOWS MAYBE THIS WILL BE THE THING THAT WILL CHANGE HIM and turn him into a man of faith, real faith, trust and hope. I think maybe that's exactly what he needs a feeling of responsibility. Right now he doesn't feel responsible. He doesn't feel he owes her or the baby anything. That was her affair, not his, and he told her so to begin with, therefore he thinks he can escape the responsibility.
46. BUT GOD MUST SHOW HIM AND WE MUST HELP HIM TO SEE THAT GOD DOESN'T LET HIM GET OFF THAT EASY OR GET AWAY WITH IT WHEN A CHILD HAS RESULTED. God therefore has made the decision and chosen the mother and father, and they're going to have to reckon with the Lord and realise they have an obligation to God and that child.
47. THEY BOTH HAVE A VERY SERIOUS OBLIGATION TO GOD IN THAT CHILD, in bringing that child into the world. I think that is what is the trouble with a lot of our folks: They look upon sex as a purely mechanical thing and that babies are just automatically the result, of course, which is what the world teaches. But that's not so.
48. WHEN A CHILD RESULTS, GOD HAS CHOSEN A MOTHER AND A FATHER, because it's God who gives the children. "Children are an heritage of the Lord." God is the one who picks the mother and the father, and when a child results they'd better believe it and they'd better stick to it!
49. GOD HAS ORDAINED IT AND GOD HAS PICKED THEM to be the mother and the father‚ and therefore God has joined them together, not mere sex! By the creation of a new immortal human soul God has permanently and forever made them one whether they like it or not! Maybe this is going to turn out to be the Letter that has been needed to be written on this subject for so long.
50. THESE COUPLES THAT GET TOGETHER FOR A LITTLE FLING THAT RESULTS IN A BABY AND THEN DECIDE TO HEAD OFF IN TWO DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS HAVE GOT TO GET BACK TOGETHER somewhere for the baby's sake! She can say all she wants to about, "Oh well, it was nice while it lasted. It was romantic, it was wonderful, and I'm just glad to have the baby to remember him by!"
51. BUT WE THAT HAVE HAD CHILDREN KNOW THE PROBLEMS AND COMPLICATIONS OF HAVING CHILDREN and know that when the baby arrives you might not feel quite so romantic about it. She may say, "It was nice knowing you and it's nice to have a little souvenir left behind," but it might not be so nice‚ especially when that souvenir needs a father and she needs some help! She may not be so happy with that souvenir all alone.
52. SO I'M AGAINST THIS BUSINESS OF "LOVE'EM AND LEAVE'EM", ESPECIALLY WHEN IT RESULTS IN CHILDREN. That child needs a father and he's responsible for it whether he wants to be or not!
53. HE HAS NOW GOT A CHILD AND HE'S GOTTA TAKE CARE OF IT—period! That's the way I feel about it! That's what they got themselves into.
54. IT'S LIKE THE STORY OF OLD FARMER BROWN, MRS. BROWN AND THE BEAR. One of the farm hands came up to Farmer Brown all excited and screaming to him, "Help! Help! Come quick! Mrs. Brown is out there in the pasture with a bear! Come quick!" But Farmer Brown calmly replied,
55. "THAT OL'BEAR GOT HIMSELF INTO IT and he can get himself out of it the best way he knows how!" So whether she likes it or not or he likes it not, it's done as far as I'm concerned.
56. THERE MIGHT BE RARE EXCEPTIONS where the mother just hates the guy's guts and doesn't want to live with him and would prefer to live alone with the baby and does well as both a mother and father to it.
57. YOU'VE GOT TO JUDGE EVERY CASE ON ITS OWN MERITS. Where you're mighty sure that the father's actually worse for the child than just having the mother there and if he's some kind of a rotter that just would make one helluva father and is worse for the baby than just the mother‚ then that's another story. But you'll have to prove that first. Most kids I've seen need a mother and a father, and that as far as I'm concerned needs to be a rule!
58. THESE GUYS CAN'T THINK THEY CAN JUST PLAY AROUND AND THEN NOT BE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE CONSEQUENCES. It's there in the "Law of Love" believe it or not. But some of these guys see what they want to see and are blind to what they don't want to see. So this Letter should make it very clear! I'm spelling it out and there are going to be quite a few little changes made and not quite so many maids made! If there aren't so many maids made‚ we won't have to make so many changes!
59. THESE GUYS WHO THINK THEY CAN JUST LIE AROUND WITH ANY OF THE GIRLS AND LEAVE BABIES all over the place they may have another think coming when they discover they're going to be stuck with a bunch of women and a whole slew of kids!—It'll serve them right!
60. IT'S HARD ENOUGH TO KEEP ONE WOMAN HAPPY! It's a hell-of–a-lot harder to keep a bunch of them happy—I ought to know! I don't think any man on earth could keep them all happy all the time‚ because there's just not enough of him!
61. SO ANY GUY WHO IS ACCUMULATING WOMEN IS GOING TO HAVE PROBLEMS AND SO ARE THEY, 'cause it takes a heaven-of-a-lot of grace to live together and share the same man! Each might be willing to be a part–time lover, but God may not be willing for him to be a part–time father, and a child needs to be around where his father is most of the time.
62. BECAUSE MOST OF THE KIDS I EVER SAW REARED BY WOMEN ALONE WERE PRETTY SPOILED, because women are inclined to pour out all their love and affection on that child and spoil it in the absence of a man and father and other children. So they haven't got just themselves to think about.
63. I'VE NEVER SEEN A CHILD YET THAT DIDN'T NEED A FATHER or a father image, somebody to play the part of a father. But I'll tell you, I've sure seen some kids without fathers who sure needed them! They needed a father's heavy hand to straighten them out when the mother didn't have what it took.
64. THERE AREN'T TOO MANY WOMEN CAPABLE OF BEING BOTH A MOTHER AND FATHER TO A CHILD. They don't have the guts, firmness and hardness that it takes to lay down the law. Fathers are usually the disciplinarians of the family who won't let the kids get away with it and who really sock it to them.
65. MOTHERS ARE INCLINED TO BE A LOT MORE EASYGOING, lenient, tolerant, indulgent and really spoil the kids, especially if they have to handle the job alone. They just don't have the strength to have to both take care of them and discipline them too, especially as they get older‚ so they're inclined to let the kids get away with more.
66. EVERY CHILD NEEDS A FATHER.—Especially as he grows older he needs a father more than a mother! A father comes into the picture loud and strong in the later years when the child really needs discipline and strength.
67. IT'S A LOT LIKE THE RELATIONSHIP OF GOD TO US: In some ways the Holy Spirit is like a mother, sweet, loving, gentle, the Spirit that conceives a spiritual babe, brings it to the birth and bears it and gives birth to a new born babe in the kingdom of God, a Child of God. But as we grow older and become aware of what's going on, we're more apt to need a father image of God Himself and be more afraid of Him than we are of the Holy Spirit, a gentle wooing dove—afraid of His rod of correction and His judgements and His very heavy hand that enforces His strict rules. So that's the way I see it.
68. I JUST BELIEVE IN HUSBANDS AND WIVES UNLESS THERE'S SOME TERRIBLE REASON WHY THEY CANNOT POSSIBLY STAY TOGETHER and it becomes a hindrance to God's work. I believe in teams. I think most of these husbands and wives ought to be good teams for the Lord, and that good teams for the Lord ought to be good husbands and wives.
69. ANY OF THESE GUYS AND GALS WHO BREAK UP TEAMS JUST BECAUSE THEY DON'T LIKE EACH OTHER'S PERSONALITIES or living together or don't want to be supplementing each other or something have got to learn something about making sacrifices for the Lord!
70. I KNEW THAT MOM AND I WERE NOT EXACTLY MATCHED FOR EACH OTHER‚ BUT WE STUCK IT OUT FOR 25 YEARS and had four good children and waited till they were grown and married and had kids of their own before God sent along another woman!—But it accomplished its purpose. But some of these guys, good night, they don't even give it 25 days much less 25 years to give it a chance to work!
71. SOME OF YOU GUYS HAVE MADE IT TOO EASY ON COUPLES TO SEPARATE. Some of you guys just went overboard and to the extremes on some of this stuff and it just makes me sick!
72. SOME OF THE THINGS I'VE HEARD OF JUST MAKE ME FURIOUS! So I'm writing a rip snorter of a rarin' tarin' Letter on the subject that'll make your hair stand on end! And I mean it! I am just fed up! Some of these guys are taking advantage of things. Some of them seem to think it's an absolute miracle of God to live together! I want to tell you right now that they're going to prove to me that it's going to take a miracle of God that they should live apart!
73. IT'S A DIFFERENT THING TO BE ABSENT FROM THEM FOR A WHILE FOR THE SAKE OF THE WORK and the service of the Lord, but you've got to get back together as soon as you can. I do think that husbands and wives belong together.
74. WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT IN "ONE WIFE" AND "LAW OF LOVE" IS BREAKING UP MARRIAGES FOR THE GLORY OF GOD, for God's sake. It better be for God's glory and you better be able to prove it and that nothing else is going to work, or it's anything but God's glory, it does not glorify God! It becomes a reflection on the cause of Christ and a bad example!
75. I EVEN INSISTED THAT MOM LIVE WITH US as long as she wanted to and needed to and it wasn't until she had a ministry elsewhere which was more important and God sent her a helper to accomplish it that I was even willing to let her go! But it better be a revelation as definite as we got and for a reason as good before I'll agree to some of these breakups! I'm going to bang some of these people's heads together so hard they're going to be of one mind!
76. I THINK WHEN YOU'VE GOT CHILDREN TO CONSIDER YOU CAN NO LONGER SELFISHLY CONSIDER YOURSELF! You've got a family and you need to consider the children who need a mother and a father unless they're grown and married and gone! So if you have got to stick it out for no other reason, stick it out for the kids' sake and keep it going!
77. FOR GOD'S SAKE KEEP THE MARRIAGE TOGETHER AND THE FAMILY TOGETHER! I'm still convinced of it. I never changed my opinion on that. I'm for husbands and wives, mothers and fathers and families, because that's the way God intended for it to be. So even if you've got ten women and a hundred kids, for God's sake stick together!—Just make each one and her kids a separate colony!—Ha!
78. WHEN A SEXUAL UNION RESULTS IN A CHILD THEN THE PARENTS DON'T HAVE MUCH CHOICE: GOD HAS MADE THE CHOICE and this should draw them together. Because God has joined them together whether they like it or not. They have no longer just themselves to consider, they have that child to consider and its care and its training and its preparation to take its place in God's Kingdom is their responsibility together, just as it was partly their responsibility for bringing it into the world.
79. WITH GOD'S HELP IT IS THEIR RESPONSIBILITY to try to see it through this world and out of this world into the next world. And if they fail to do so and fail that child‚ they are failing God and not just the child alone which is bad‚ enough but they're failing both the child and God!—
80. AND IF THERE'S ALREADY A WIFE involved who is not the mother of that child and the guy already has somebody and other children, well, that's just tough!
81. HE'S GOT TO TAKE ON THE RESPONSIBILITY OF BOTH WOMEN AND ALL THE CHILDREN, and the women will have to try to live together whether they like it or not, because they both lay with the same man and they're both bound to him by not only sexual union but the results—children—and they' re stuck with him!
82. THEY DON'T REALLY HAVE A CHOICE IN THE MATTER BECAUSE THEY'RE STUCK WITH HIM FOR THE CHILDREN'S SAKE if nothing else. They laid with him, so they're going to have to put up with him and with each other like they did in the old Bible times, whether they like each other or not!
83. ALTHOUGH THE FIRST WIFE MAY NOT BE THE GUILTY PARTY and have had nothing to do with it and be perfectly innocent—no fault of hers—nevertheless that's the kind of guy she married: and she should have known what kind of guy she was marrying before she married him, if he was going to be a philanderer, and she's stuck with him, and she's also stuck with his shenanigans and their results, including any additional women and children, whether she likes it or not, for the sake of her children and as her obligation to God!
84. BECAUSE MARRIAGE IS A TYPE OF THE SPIRITUAL UNION OF THE BELIEVING BRIDE WITH CHRIST‚ and it is none of her business to try to break it up especially when children have resulted no matter how many other brides he may have! She's just going to have to take it and make the best of it.
85. THEY'RE GOING TO HAVE TO LIVE TOGETHER AS SISTERS in the same house joined to the same man sharing him and his love and his children which are their obligation to God and they can't just say, "Well what have we do with thee?"—Neither one of them! If they now each have a child by him, it's pretty darn good proof they've had a lot to do with him!
86. YOU'RE NOW YOUR BROTHER'S KEEPER WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!—At least one of his keepers! And if this man has taken on a mistress that has resulted in a child then he owes that child a father and that woman a husband and you're going to have to accept her into the house and the family as the "other woman".
87. THIS WAS THE WAY IT WAS IN THE MOSAIC LAW! If a man took another wife he was to treat the first one with just as much love and consideration as before. It says "not to diminish his duty of marriage."—And especially his duty to all the children.
88. HE'S NOW ASSUMED AN ADDITIONAL OBLIGATION, he's going to have to fulfill it whether he likes it or not and he's going to have to try to keep them both happy which is a pretty tough job when they both want all of his time and attention.
89. BUT SOME SUCH UNIONS HAVE GOTTEN ALONG REASONABLY WELL AND MANAGED TO SURVIVE with everybody being fairly happy‚ children well cared for and with the husband certainly being more than well cared for, if he can take it and with his women being slightly less well cared for perhaps than otherwise.
90. THE FIRST WIFE HAD BETTER BE THANKFUL SHE DOESN'T LOSE HIM ALTOGETHER and doesn't lose the father of her children.
91. THE SECOND WOMAN HAD BETTER BE THANKFUL SHE GETS ANY OF HIS ATTENTION AT ALL because she should have known she was going to have to share him in the first place! Because she knew good and well all the time she was already using somebody else's husband and that she certainly couldn't expect to steal him from his first wife and her children because God certainly wouldn't bless that! That would be extremely selfish.
92. I DON'T BELIEVE GOD APPROVES OF HUSBAND-STEALING—stealing another woman's husband and worse than that, stealing the father of some children! So the second woman can't expect to have him all to herself. She never had him all to herself to begin with and she never will! it wouldn't be fair if she did.
93. IF MORE OF THESE HUSBAND-STEALERS WOULD GO INTO THE THING WITH THEIR EYES OPEN AND REALISE THEY WERE GOING TO HAVE TO LIVE WITH THE WIFE, I DOUBT IF THERE WOULD BE SO MUCH HUSBAND STEALING! Also, if the wives knew they were going to wind up living in the same house with the "other woman" and together with the same man, a lot of wives would just rather dump their husbands than accept another woman in the same house!—They'd rather dump them both, both husband and mistress, which is what the laws allows them to do in some countries.
94. BUT NO WIFE IN THE EYES OF GOD CAN RIGHTLY DUMP HER HUSBAND IF THEY HAVE CHILDREN. She hasn't got the right to dump their father‚ and they'll never forgive their mother for it no matter what, as so many of you fatherless orphans so well know! No matter how bad he was or how bad a profligate he was, the children would still have rather had a father—a bad father rather than none at all.
95. THE CHILDREN WILL ALWAYS HOLD IT AGAINST THEIR MOTHER FOR DUMPING THEIR FATHER, and the children themselves are not going to care that much if he merely brings another woman into the house.—In fact they might even find it rather pleasant or amusing to have a few more brothers and sisters around.
96. AND IT'S NOT OFTEN THAT THE OTHER WOMAN—THE MISTRESS—IS GOING TO FIND IT TO HER TASTE TO WANT TO LIVE WITH THE WIFE. A lot of mistresses would prefer to dump the man himself than to live with the first wife even if they have a baby by him.
97. BUT ONCE SHE'S HAD A CHILD BY HIM IT IS NO LONGER HER CHOICE: SHE'S GOING TO HAVE TO LIVE WITH THAT RASCAL whether she likes the situation or not, and he's going to have to be a father to all the children and a husband to both of them whether he likes it or not!—And he may find it's not going to be quite as much fun as he thought it was going to be!
98. OF COURSE THE WAY SOME OF YOU GALS LIKE TO SLEEP AROUND, IT MAY BE A LITTLE HARD TO TELL WHO THE FATHER WAS OR IS! But babies have a way of showing up with certain characteristics and looks that quite often make it pretty clear who the father was!
99. SO FRANKLY MY OPINION IS PRETTY MUCH IN AGREEMENT WITH THE OLD MOSAIC LAW, which is God's stiff standard and that is that once these sexual unions have resulted in children, then the man is under obligation to take care of that woman and her children‚ even if he's already got another woman and some other children.—He should have thought of that before he got involved.
100. AND I WOULD SAY THAT IF HE'S NOT WILLING TO UNDERTAKE THESE GOD-GIVEN OBLIGATIONS, ACCORDING TO SCRIPTURAL LAW, THEN HE'S NOT FIT TO BE A MEMBER OF OUR ORGANISATION, and he's certainly not fit to be any officer in it if he doesn't know how to take care of his own family he's certainly not fit to take care of the Family of God! If he doesn't know how to take care of his own children, he's certainly no fit father for the Children of God!
101. SO FAR AS I'M CONCERNED CHILDREN MAKE IT A UNION ordained of God whether the parents like it or not! "What God hath joined together let not man put asunder", and the little family so created had better just make the best of it.
102. IF SOME OF THESE LOOSE LIVING GUYS WHO GO RUNNING AROUND WITH ALL THE WOMEN they can get their hands on realise that if these escapades result in children they're going to have to take care of them and the women, they might have another think coming before they becomes so easily involved without a thought for the consequences!
103. MARRIAGE WAS ORIGINALLY INTENDED TO BE A UNION OF TWO PEOPLE, with the resultant children. But if you insist on adding an extra one and her children, then that's your problem brother!—And hers!—And you'd better get with it and take care of them both because it's now your obligation not only to her and the children but also to God as well as God's larger Family!
104. BOTH WOMEN ARE NOW YOUR RESPONSIBILITY AND ALL THEIR CHILDREN, and you have really got a job on your hands! But if you're that hard a worker maybe you can handle it. But you'd just better hope and pray that your women aren't too demanding or you might wind up a physical wreck yourself and a mighty poor father to your children!
105. ABOUT THE ONLY WAY OUT I CAN SEE FOR YOU IS THAT IF THE NEW WOMAN DOESN'T WANT TO LIVE WITH YOU AND YOUR WIFE YOU'D BETTER HELP HER FIND A NICE NEW HUSBAND that she would like to live with and who is willing to be the father of your child! And if your first wife doesn't like the new woman in the house she may decide she wants to take off and leave both of you with it and maybe the kids too!
106. THE NEW LITTLE WOMAN MAY FIND SHE'S GOT QUITE A BIG FAMILY TO TAKE CARE OF, and so she may not be any better wife to you than the old one with that much responsibility! So you'll go on being "misunderstood" and "underloved" and try to hand the same kind of sad pitiful line you gave her to somebody else!
107. SHE IN TURN MIGHT NOT APPRECIATE THAT, and you'll get caught in sort of a vicious cycle that you've created for yourself by your own oversexed desire for additional love and affection! So if either woman decides she'd prefer to dump you and the other woman and the children too, I wouldn't too much blame her!
108. OR IF SHE WANTS TO KEEP THE CHILDREN AND THROW YOU AND THE OTHER WOMAN OUT OF THE HOUSE, I WOULDN'T MUCH BLAME HER, as long as she can find a good husband who is willing to be their father, which isn't always easy to do; as "Divorcees Anonymous" will tell you!
109. SO BOYS, WHEN YOU CONSIDER ALL THESE DANGEROUS ALTERNATIVES, MAYBE YOU'LL WIND UP DECIDING THAT THE LITTLE OLD WOMAN IS NOT SO BAD AFTER ALL and a lot less trouble to take care of and easier to make happy than two or more!
110. YOU MAY FEEL LIKE PAT, who when getting a little fed up with his wife Maggie, saw a sign over a store, "Woman's Exchange" and thought it sounded like a good idea!—So he walked in to have a look. But when he saw the great big bruiser of an Irish biddy behind the counter who was three times the size of Maggie he walked out and said, "Well, I guess I'd rather keep Maggie after all!"
111. IF YOU THINK YOUR WIFE IS A PROBLEM, YOU'RE GOING TO FIND TWO OR MORE WOMEN ARE A LOT MORE PROBLEMS! But if you've gotten yourself so involved with both of them that you have children by both of them, I'm sorry pal, you're stuck with a lot of problems, and you're going to have to see it through whether you or they like it or not!—Unless either one of them prefers to dump you and trade you for another man and a new father for her children providing she can find one, which is another problem!
112. SO I THINK THAT MOST OF YOU WILL FIND IN MOST CASES THAT THE NICE LITTLE TWOSOME ARRANGEMENT WILL BE A LOT SIMPLER and less complicated and with fewer problems and probably even a lot more fun and satisfying in the long run, even if sometimes you feel a little misunderstood and underloved.—It may turn out to be not nearly as big a problem as being too well understood and overloved!
113. AND YOU GIRLS WHO CAN'T KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF OTHER PEOPLE'S HUSBANDS MAY SOON FIND YOURSELF STUCK WITH THE RASCAL AND HIS CHILD while he's off giving the biz to somebody new and treating you like he did his wife in the first place!
114. AND ON THE OTHER HAND‚ YOU WIVES MIGHT FIND IT A WHOLE LOT EASIER TO BE A LITTLE MORE UNDERSTANDING, SYMPATHETIC, LOVING AND KIND TO YOUR HUSBANDS than to have to share his love and sympathy with somebody else! But then on the other hand you might find it very interesting to take her in so you can have somebody on your side for a change—two against one!—Then you've got him out-voted!
115. AND IF THEY GANG UP ON YOU BROTHER‚ YOU'RE LICKED!—You haven't got a chance! You may decide you want to take off for greener pastures where there aren't so many women and leave them both behind!—But we're not going to let you get away with it if you've got children—At least you're not going to get away with it and remain a part of this outfit!
116. IF YOU DON'T LOVE BOTH AND YOUR CHILDREN ENOUGH TO STICK BY THEM BOTH THEN YOU DON'T BELONG IN THIS OUTFIT ANYHOW, and your two gals better find themselves a new husband and a better father to their children or maybe a couple new husbands and fathers; just one each! This would well save everybody a lot of problems, including us!
117. SO I SUGGEST SOME OF YOU PHILANDERERS BETTER SIT DOWN AND COUNT THE COST BEFORE YOU LIE DOWN AND ALL IS LOST!—And some of you baby dolls who like to lie around with other women's husbands had better sit down and count the cost before your all is lost and nobody else wants you!
118. I THINK MOST OF YOU WILL FIND THE CUSTOMARY TWOSOME LITTLE HUSBAND-AND-WIFE ARRANGEMENT IS QUITE SUFFICIENT, quite satisfactory to all concerned and a lot less complicated with much fewer problems despite a few inadequacies and the abundance of your magnanimous love which you wish you could share with so many more! You may find it a lot less difficult to get all the love you can out of the one little woman and you wives to give all the love you can to the old man!
119. YOU MAY FIND IT'S A LOT EASIER TO GET ALONG WITH EACH OTHER THAN FOR BOTH OF YOU TO HAVE TO GET ALONG WITH SOMEBODY NEW!
120. SO I SUGGEST, BELOVED, THAT WE MAKE THESE HUSBANDS AND WIVES REALISE THEIR RESPONSIBILITIES TO EACH OTHER AND THEIR CHILDREN and let them know here and now that if they have any children we expect them to take care of them as well as their mothers and that's going to be their responsibility from now on and they're going to have to take care of them all no matter how many there are! Maybe that'll discourage some of them from trying to add too many members to their already increasing families!
121. OF COURSE, IF YOU'RE THE RARE EXCEPTION‚ GOD'S GIFT TO WOMEN, WHO THINKS YOU CAN KEEP THEM ALL HAPPY and can make them all very happy with each other all living together as one big happy family with all the children then I certainly admire your fortitude and your noble ideals!
122. BUT I'LL STILL HAVE TO SEE YOU MAKE IT WORK TO BELIEVE IT as very few men have ever been able to succeed at it, as evidenced also by quite a few Bible stories of disgusted and intolerant wives and disgruntled and jealous handmaidens!—And when it came to the showdown‚ if they just couldn't get along, it was usually the handmaiden who got kicked out—not the wife!—
So maiden beware
In your underwear
When you don't know where
He'll make his lair
Or if he'll be fair
And want you there!
So you take care
Before you pair
And your heart tear
Till you can't bear
To think he'd dare
To part your hair
And mount his mare
And start to rare
And leave you there
With newborn heir
When he's not there—
'Twixt walls so bare
At which you stare!—
So maiden fair,
That leaves you where?
Alone with God
A child to bear!
So think! Prepare!
Do not just lie there!
Do something rare
And make him swear
He'll keep fore'er
You and your heir
Should you so pair
Within your lair
As to forebear
A wee child fair
For both to care
And he'll be there—
It's only fair!
Or else forbear
This selfish snare
That leaves you there
You know not where
To fend your fare
With your own ware
While others glare!
123. MAY GOD HELP YOU TO HAVE A LITTLE COMMON SENSE along with all your romantic antics! Think of the consequences!—And remember: We're going to insist that you take care of them whether you like it or not!—Or you'll have no part nor place in us! Think that over!
124. SO YOU MAIDS AND MAID-LAYERS HAD BETTER BEWARE or you're gonna be you know where!—Nowhere but stuck with that guy or gal and your resultant progeny—one family! If you must get it together then don't blow it apart!—For God's sake and the child's sake!—Amen?—Amen! God bless and keep you in His will! You can make it if you try!—Or God will make you!—And so will we!