23/4/85 DO 2149
1. IF GOD HAD MADE SEX JUST REALLY HARD WORK, ALL WORK & NO PLAY‚ & just a job that you had to do whether you liked it or not, how much sex would there be? He made it fun! He made it enjoyable! He made the women beautiful, gorgeous‚ irresistible, so you couldn't stay away from them, it's impossible! He made sex such a thrill, the biggest physical thrill there is in this World, the sexual orgasm! He made it so terrific you'd do anything to get it, you'll work hard to get it, or at least play hard! You don't really usually think of sex as work, do you? It's play. Actually you're working hard. Girls oughtta know‚ they work a lot of hards!
2. SO HE TURNED THIS HARD WORK INTO PLEASURE! Sex is really hard work, you're panting for breath by the time you're done, gasping for breath! When I read what that doctor said about, "All you need is 15 minutes of vigorous exercise every day‚" I told Maria‚ "We've got it!"—Every morning in bed or every night, 15 minutes. Maybe it doesn't take you that long. Now that I'm such an old man it takes a lot longer than that sometimes. But that's close to average, 15 minutes to half–an-hour is about all it takes. You mean you never timed it? You never figured out how long it took? That's about all, 15 minutes to half-an-hour to really go through the whole process.
3. AND IT'S HARD WORK! AS THEY SAY, IT LEAVES YOU BREATHLESS!—Not entirely, thank the Lord, or you'd be dead. Well, I've heard of some people die having sex, it was such overexertion & they overdid & died right while they were having sex! I remember one of the Wheaton College students died on his wedding night in bed fucking his new wife. He must have had a weak heart or something & he just overdid‚ or he got too excited & died. But it resulted in a beautiful song, a sad song, but a beautiful song about the Lord: "Sweet abiding love..." I can't remember it all right now. She was sort of returning to her First Love, the Lord. It was sort of like she got distracted by this guy & the Lord took him. It must not have been the Lord. He must not have been of the Lord, he must have been the wrong one. The Lord took him on their wedding night & she got back to the Lord & her First Love, Jesus! PTL!
4. SO SEX IS REALLY HARD WORK & LEAVES YOU BREATHLESS! And if the Lord hadn't made these gals so gorgeous & irresistible, & sex such a driving force in you that you've just gotta have it, I doubt if anybody would have had sex! How many people have sex just because they want children? That's the Lord's ultimate purpose in sex! The first purpose is to make you one. Did you ever see how old people that have been married for about 50 years begin looking like each other? The first purpose is that the two shall become one flesh, make you one. (Gen.2:24) There's even a sort of interchange of something there that makes you one, not only physically but spiritually.
5. BUT HOW MANY PEOPLE WOULD BE HAVING SEX JUST BECAUSE THEY WANT TO BE ONE? Well, you say, "Mine is true love & that's why I have sex, because I love her so much I just want to have fellowship & be one & I just like to make her happy." Let's face it, how many of you really have sex unselfishly? Well, I think I have a lot of sex unselfish-ly, especially at my age when I can't do much any more! But I still like it when the women try & do something for me at least. If youforget me entirely, I feel a little bit offended. Not many of you women do that, thank the Lord. But don't get so interested in your own selfish satisfaction that you forget the man, because he likes it too! I don't think may of you do that‚ most of you just automatically grab onto my handle when I start grabbing onto your pot! So we get the pot & the handle together sometimes, praise the Lord! So don't forget the man needs it too.
6. AND FELLAS, DON'T FORGET, AT YOUR AGE THE WOMAN NEEDS IT TOO! I don't have to caution you young people so much about that, because it's more normal & often that at your age the man is ready first, & as the cowboys used to say, "Bam bam, thank you, Ma'am!" He was in such a hurry he would jump in the saddle & then jump off again once she had buckaroo'd! A man is inclined to go first when you're young because it seems that he sort of gets excited first & the woman's a little bit slower. So the first thing I had to do to teach my hippies about sex was to remember the woman & that she needs to be satisfied too.
7. AND EVEN IF IT TAKES YOU A LITTLE LONGER‚ FELLAS‚ DON'T JUST GO "BAM BAM‚ THANK YOU, MA'AM"‚ JUMP ON & JUMP OFF AGAIN! The first woman I ever did that to got real mad & bawled me out. She said, "So, you took your fuck‚ huh?!" I didn't quite understand what she was talking about then, I knew so little about women I thought she must have surely had as much fun as I did! But that was the time I think I shot my wad before I even managed to get in, just touching it with the tip did it, boom‚ I was so excited! So I didn't even get in & give her hardly any pleasure. I'd been loving her up beforehand, she was doing the dishes & I came up behind her like I do sometimes with you girls when you're busy. I say, "Don't stop, keep right on working, that's all right", & then I work you over, reaching around from the rear a little bit!
8. I ESPECIALLY DON'T WANT TO LOVE GIRLS WORKING IN THE KITCHEN WHO'VE GOT KNIVES IN THEIR HANDS OR THEY MIGHT GET TOO EXCITED! Some girls really get pretty violent when they explode & kick & flail their arms & holler like Sara & some of the rest of you. So you've got to be careful when you're making love to a girl when she does explode‚ it may take her longer, but boy, they explode! And you boys ought to remember that! My, it doesn't matter what I'm talking about, I'm always getting on sex! I'm always getting it on somehow, praise the Lord!
—Amen?—Don't you? Enjoy yourself!—It's later than you think!—Have fun!