—On Husband/Wife Relationships DO 213529/11/83
1. BEFORE YOU SNAP BACK & TRY TO PRE-EMPT OR PRECLUDE ANOTHER PERSON'S DECISION, WHY DON'T YOU JUST TRUST THE LORD & WAIT? When you worry about things that may never happen or haven't happened or you're afraid are going to happen, you're not even giving God a chance to work it out. Just leave things in the Lord's hands!
2. A HUSBAND & WIFE CAN HAVE A GOOD RELATIONSHIP AS LONG AS SHE HAS FAITH & HONOURS & RESPECTS HIM. But when she starts trying to tell him what to do & thinks she knows better, it can absolutely wreck a relationship! A domineering attitude & lack of faith in your husband will make him want to seek the fellowship of other women who do respect & have faith in him & are ready to accept him as he is & agree with his decisions & obey him. A domineering attitude & wanting to control him shows that you lack faith in your husband's ability to do it, so you think that you can do it better. Even if you don't have faith in him, you should have enough faith in God to see He could keep your husband under control.
3. YOU NEED TO HAVE FAITH TO TRUST THE LORD THAT HE IS IN CONTROL OF BOTH YOUR HUSBAND & THE SITUATION. It must be pride that keeps so many women from surrendering, they hate to give up. It's almost like they hate to trust the Lord, much less their husband. But I guess it's just the nature of women that after a certain length of time their faith in their man & their confidence in God wears off & they try to get control & make the decisions & do what they think is best. They lose respect for their husband & no longer honour him, they only want to control him & make sure he does what they want him to do. He becomes a tool in their own hand. Instead of leaving him in the Lord's hand, they try to use him to get their way.
4. IT'S PART OF THE DEVIL'S CORRUPTION‚ TRYING TO THROW A MONKEY WRENCH IN GOD'S MACHINERY! God's law was that a woman's desire shall be unto her husband (Gen.3:16), & the Devil's been trying to overthrow that ever since‚ of which Women's Lib is a classic example. They don't desire to please their husbands, they desire to rule over them. They don't want equality‚ they want to enslave their husbands & to be the boss! It's rebellion against the plan & order of God. The Devil inspires women to rise up against it & rebel against it & hate it & fight it.
5. "A WISE WOMAN BUILDETH HER HOUSE BUT A FOOLISH ONE PLUCKETH IT DOWN WITH HER HANDS." (Pro.14:1) That's such a wise saying & so deep. It's too bad women don't learn what it means. She tears it down with her own hands & her own fears & her own wilfulness through a lack of trust & faith in the Lord. The marriage relationship usually starts off as love but then ends with dishonour & disobedience. I think the secret is lack of faith & lack of trust in not just the man but in the Lord. It's not resting in the Lord & trusting that God is going to have His way no matter what your husband does. The Lord's not going to let him go too far on the wrong track without stopping him.
6. EVERY MAN DESIRES HIS WIFE TO HAVE FAITH IN HIM. It must be part of the desire the Lord wanted us to have of faith in Him, & without faith it is impossible to please Him. (Heb.11:6) The most damaging thing that can happen in a marriage is to lose faith in each other, & worst of all‚ faith in God.
7. IF YOU CAN'T TRUST YOUR HUSBAND, AT LEAST YOU CAN TRUST THE LORD! I think if most Christian wives would make up their minds to do that, it would save a lot of disagreements & arguments. I'm sure that's why so many men take up fishing or some other sport in which their wife can't participate, just to get away from her constant bickering, just for the peace & quiet of the golf course or a lonely boat on the lake where a man can get alone with the Lord & his thoughts.
8. I THINK MOST MEN PROBABLY HAVE A LOT MORE PRIDE THAN WOMEN‚ THEREFORE THEY'RE MORE SENSITIVE & the criticism or cutting remarks hurt more. They may not show it or even acknowledge it, but the wound is there & they may never get over it—the hurt of some cutting remark, doubt or fear or distrust or disrespect. How many marriages have those things wrecked? If he or she persists in distrust, disrespect or disobedience, this can just wreck a marriage.
9. THERE HAS TO BE SOME KIND OF TRUST SOMEWHERE! The Lord didn't say that a man had to trust, honour & obey his wife, but that wives had to trust, honour & obey their husbands. (Eph.5:22-24; 1Pet.3:1) It's the wife's place to yield & trust & love, honour & obey, but the women probably feel it's unfair‚ especially if they are women libbers & wilful & stubborn, not the yielding, clinging-vine types. I guess they feel it's unfair of God to expect them to trust a man & love, honour & obey & respect him.
10. —IN WHICH CASE I THINK IT'S BETTER FOR SUCH A WOMAN NOT TO BE MARRIED IF THEY FIND IT'S REALLY NOT IN THEM TO TRULY LOVE, HONOUR & OBEY A HUSBAND JUST BECAUSE GOD SAID SO. I believe the happier wives are the ones who do, & if they can't trust their husbands, at least they can trust the Lord & not continually nag. Why not just trust away instead of nag away & believe the Lord will work it out somehow? I don't see any other solution but to trust & obey to be happy in a marriage‚ at least trust & obey the Lord, & since He says obey your husbands, that is obeying the Lord whether you like it or not!
11. YOU JUST HAVE TO TRUST THE LORD THAT IF YOU OBEY THE LORD, THINGS WILL WORK OUT SOMEHOW. You have to trust the Lord if you're going to have peace‚ unity & harmony & love in the house. Just trust the Lord, it brings a lot more peace & rest & it avoids a lot of vain wrangling & doubtful disputations. Amen? GBY!