DO 1851 Compiled 7/84
1. THAT'S NOT THE WAY TO BARGAIN, TO LET'M KNOW YOU'RE SO THRILLED WITH THE PLACE & YOU LIKE IT SO MUCH! The Bible tells you how to bargain. Can you quote the Scripture? (Peter: It says‚ "The buyer says, it is naught, it is naught.") (Pro.20:14) "It is naught, it is naught!" In other words, he belittles the merchandise & says, it's not worth it! (Peter: But then he goes forth & boasts about the good deal he gets!) Yes, he goes away & he boasts that he really got a bargain! Well, that's the only way to get a bargain, you have got to walk through & pick out all the flaws & make a bunch of complaints: "Well, look at the mess this place is in, ratty & rundown" & all that‚ & act like you don't like it. Whereas, if you start raving about it, of course they're going to up the price! They didn't think it was very much until you came along & you convinced them it was really good!—Ha! That's not the way to bargain. You need to be a hard-bargaining, critical old Jew like me! Don't get over-enthused about it, but run it down from what the guy's trying to sell you! On the other hand, don't be so critical you can't see anything good in it. That wouldn't be honest either & if you really want the place you've got to see something good in it, since most landlords want people in their house who will appreciate it & like it enough that they'll want to take care of it.
2. LET ME TELL YOU, JEWS ARE EXPERTS AT NO SALE! I mean, any Jew who's easily sold is no Jew. They're tough customers, they'll tell you everything is wrong with it & why they don't like it etc.‚ & you've gotta do the same! There's just one thing they almost cannot stand, & that's not to make a sale at all, & I found this out as just a young kid. Now you guys have gotta learn how to do that because it's also a typical Oriental style of bargaining.
3. NEVER THINK ABOUT BUYING ANYTHING FOR THE FIRST ASKING PRICE! That's just their starting point & you haggle & you bargain & you argue. They can really get almost violent sometimes, but they can't stand to see you walk out the door without making a sale! You'll have a hard time getting out of any Jewish store without them making a sale no matter what it costs them! It's just against their Jewish blood not to sell, whatever!—But it's just as much against their Jewish blood to buy! They are born salesmen but they are tough customers!
4. AND BOY, IF YOU EVER GET TO HEAR TWO JEWS ARGUING OVER A PRICE, WHEW! GULP!—I MEAN THEY'LL ALMOST COME TO A FIST FIGHT & CALL EACH OTHER NAMES! "You're a liar! You're cheating me! It's no good!"—And so on & so on! But they finally can make a deal & the guy goes out & he says, "Hey, look what I got for only $4! Look at that, would you? What a bargain!" You'd think it was the worst ring in the shop before he finally got it, & then he gets it outside & says, "Oh boy! I really got a good deal here, a good bargain!" That's the way the Jews are & the Orientals too, & that's the way you've got to do!
5. DON'T EVER PAY THE ASKING PRICE, THEY DON'T EXPECT YOU TO! You're not being mean or selfish or tight or anything by not paying the asking price, you're just being a good Oriental, that's all! If you start off by just paying what they ask you to, they'll just figure you're a fool & they lost half the fun of selling—the bargaining & the argument & the haggling!
6. WHERE DO YOU THINK THEY GOT THAT EXPRESSION, ANYWAY, TO JEW HIM DOWN? Some of you guys need to learn that, 'cause you've gone in & the real estate man's given you a certain price & he didn't even expect you to take it, he expected you to come down. They always pad it a little bit & expect you to say, "Oh no, it's nothing, it's nothing, it's not worth it! No, no, no!"—But they can't stand to see you go out the door!—That is if they're Jewish, & apparently Orientals are the same, like the Arabs!
7. ANYBODY THAT ACCEPTS THE FIRST ASKING PRICE IS NOT A BARGAINER & NOT JEWISH ENOUGH! Now I'll confess that in the Western World there are some people such as the Swiss who would give you a price & that's it. That's what they expect to get for it & if you don't want to pay, that's that!
8. SOME OF THOSE ORIENTAL–TYPE CHARACTERS ARE VERY SNEAKY! If you have dealt with as many such shopkeepers as I have, you'll learn that with some of them lying is a virtue & they can lie with a straight face! Part of their business is lying about things & that's how they've gotten to where they are, by wheeling & dealing & misrepresenting & lying & not necessarily building up a steady clientele of steady customers.
9. THEY GO TO PLACES WHERE THERE ARE LOTS OF TOURISTS THAT ARE ONE-TIME CUSTOMERS & they'll never be back anyhow & are back home before they find out what's wrong with it, like South Africa or the Canaries or someplace like that. Those places are just loaded with those little gyp shops where they've got this cheap stuff that's supposed to be so cheap & everything. Well‚ it turns out it's even cheaper than it looks! They're very sneaky, very subtle. They'll smile to your face & be lovely‚ sweet as sugar—& be ready to knife you in the back! I'm sorry to tell you that, but that's been my experience with that type of character.—When they have the Lord, of course, that's a completely different story.
10. WHEN WILL YOU GUYS EVER LEARN TO BARGAIN? "The children of this World are wiser in their generation than the children of light." That's a Scripture, Jesus said it! (Luk.16:8) When it's a fleece‚ that's a different story! We stick to it, we don't move, we don't budge‚ & usually the Lord honours it one way or the other!
11. THERE WAS AN OLD SONG THAT WAS VERY POPULAR YEARS AGO, DO YOU REMEMBER IT? (Sings: ) "There's a lion in the street tonight!" It reminds me of a Scripture about the lazy man who wouldn't go out to work because he said there was a lion in the street. (Pro.22:13) Well, you guys are almost as bad about your bargaining!—"There's a lion in the house!"
12. IN BARGAINING THE SELLER STARTS AT THE TOP & THE BUYER STARTS AT THE BOTTOM & YOU KEEP WORKING BACK & FORTH LIKE A SEESAW UNTIL FINALLY YOU MEET SOMEPLACE IN BETWEEN! Don't ever pay the asking price for a house or anything! If you're buying in a shop & they tell you the price, what they hope you're dumb enough to pay‚ some real bargainers are really disappointed if you don't fight for it! So you look at it & size it up & you decide on what you're willing to pay, see, & then you size up in your head what you think it's worth. You hear his price & you figure what it's really worth. You know it's worth a lot less than what he's asking, maybe half as much, & then you offer something below that, below what you're willing to pay. Don't start where you are willing to pay, start way below. I've heard this all my life from missionaries & from all parts of the Orient‚ that bargaining is their game, it's almost like the national sport! You'll notice hardly anything is ever marked in the stores with prices. They start at the top, you start at the bottom, & you finally get together & they really enjoy the sport!
13. THE JEWS ARE AN AMAZING PEOPLE & YOU CAN SEE THEIR BARGAINING HAS WORKED & THEY HAVE SOLD THE GENTILES, THE GOYS, & THEY HAVE TAKEN OVER THE WORLD BECAUSE THE GOYS WERE SUCH SUCKERS! The Jews would just laugh & scorn if you'd actually pay their price! They won't do it to your face, but they'll sneer at you & laugh at you & say afterwards, "What a sucker! He paid what I asked him to pay the first time!" Well, they were brought up hard & live hard & have to be hard, I guess, to survive!—And they've taken over the World!
14. YOU BUSINESS PEOPLE ARE GOING TO HAVE TO LEARN HOW TO OPERATE WITH THESE PEOPLE, LET ME TELL YOU! It's the Jews, Indians & the Orientals who run the business all over the World! They're the rich & wherever they are they're the rich, whether it was the Canary Islands or Trinidad or almost anywhere else in the World except the USA, & I wouldn't be surprised they're taking over there too since they moved in! But all over the Caribbean it's the Orientals who are the rich, & all over the East & the Southeast, it's the Orientals who are the rich businessmen & the smart operators!—And they didn't get that way by letting suckers push'm around, they pushed the suckers around!
15. I'VE GOTTA ADMIRE SALESMEN & PROMOTERS BECAUSE I'M ONE MYSELF OR WE WOULDN'T BE WHERE WE ARE! Thank God He did it, but He had to have somebody to do it, to be His hands & feet & His loud mouth!—You & me!—Amen? GBAKY a good bargainer & salesman for Jesus!—In Jesus' name, amen!
(ARE YOU A GOOD BARGAINER & SALESMAN FOR JESUS?—Missionaries must be good salesmen, & you've got the biggest bargain ever!—God's free Salvation!—"Sell" it!)