DFO 1540Capetown, 2/11/81
1. I WAS JUST THINKING HOW THE LORD USES ME & how He just speaks through me & it flows & it's really effortless, except for a little bit of physical strength, & He even supplies that too. I was just sitting here marvelling at the miracle that just took place, like it always does, the way I open my mouth & He fills it & He pours it through. I was thinking what a miracle it is‚ what a marvel that is, & I just felt like the Lord was saying,
2. "WHY MARVEL YE AT THIS?—ISN'T THIS WHAT YOU WANTED? Isn't this what you wanted to be?" And then I was thinking, when I was a boy & young & even in later years I did want to be a man of God, & of course I dreamed sometimes of how wonderful it would be to be a great man of God like some of the great men of God of past days etc., but I never had the slightest idea it was possible for me. In fact, my first wife had me pretty well convinced that it was impossible & I never would be, & she gave up on me.
3. BUT THE LORD DIDN'T & YOU DIDN'T, & I GUESS I DIDN'T GIVE UP EITHER, REALLY! I almost did, but when I found somebody had a little faith in me—you—I figured the Lord must have a little faith, that maybe it was possible for me to actually do something for the Lord & be used of Him and become something for the Lord.
4. AND I CERTAINLY ADMIRED THE GREAT PROPHETS OF GOD, ESPECIALLY KING DAVID! He was my special hero that I loved & admired most of all! I think of anybody outside of Jesus Himself, I think I loved David & admired him most of all & I felt I had more in common with him. I was such an awful sinner but I really loved the Lord in spite of it all & wanted to serve the Lord.
5. SO THERE WAS THAT DESIRE, IN A WAY‚ TO BE LIKE DAVID. I loved & admired him as a character & as a great man of God, but please don't think I ever felt there was any possibility of my ever becoming anything like any of them. But there was that desire, there was that admiration. I mean, if you love & admire someone that much, if they're your ideal, then surely you must want to be like'm!
6. I MUST HAVE WANTED TO BE LIKE DAVID, so what did the Lord do? (Maria: He made you like David!) He gave me the desires of my heart, because I delighted myself in Him. "Delight thyself in the Lord & He shall give thee the desires of thy heart!" (Ps.37:4)
7. I GUESS I REALLY DID WANT TO BE LIKE DAVID, SO THE LORD LET ME BE LIKE DAVID IN EVERY WAY, BOTH GOOD & BAD!—Ha!—Both violent & peaceful, sinful & forgiven, but useful to the Lord. Maybe He let me become a great sinner so I could have mercy & compassion for great sinners, like those travelling salesmen.
8. SO I WAS JUST SITTING HERE IN WONDER, THINKING OF WHAT THE LORD JUST DID IN THAT TALK! I said things I never thought of before! It's just like when I'm teaching, definitely it's the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, He shows me things, says things through me that I never thought of before which confirm & illustrate & bring out the details & open the revelation a little more‚ He opens a few more pages of the book each time.
9. I WAS JUST THINKING, "OH MY, HOW DID THAT EVER HAPPEN?" And it was just like the voice of the Holy Spirit said, "Well, isn't that what you wanted? Isn't that the way you wanted to be? Isn't that what you desired to be?—Like a great man of God, like David?" So here I am, with all due apologies, dear David! You're so far beyond me that I couldn't even come close!
10. BUT ANYWAY, I'M WHAT GOD ORDERED, WHAT THE DOCTOR ORDERED FOR TODAY! I probably never would have made it in David's day or according to those standards, but at least I'm making it for my day according to God's will for this generation & what you need, PTL! Because it's doing the trick, amen? It's doing the job. He's giving me what you need & it's doing the work, the Words that work wonders!
11. THE WONDER WORKING WORDS ARE DOING THE WORK, they're doing the trick‚ TTL, & they keep comin', & they keep workin'! I read those FNs, those wonderful testimonies—there's the proof! "By their fruits ye shall know them!" (Mt.7:20) Look at all that good fruit—souls saved, lives reclaimed‚ missionaries made, miraculous healings & a most marvellous witness throughout all the World in every way, shape & form!—In word & in song & in music & in all kinds of languages!
12. I MEAN, WHAT COULD ANY MAN ASK MORE THAN THAT? It seems like I have in some ways done more to reach the World than any other man, & reached further. "Greater things than these shall ye do," Jesus said, "for I go to My Father." (Jn.14:12) So we've done greater things even than Jesus did in some ways.
13. I DON'T THINK I'VE EVER DONE ANYTHING LIKE THE MIRACLES HE DID, raised the dead & things like that, but we have given His Message to more people than He had a chance to give it to, & we've gone further with it, reached more people, witnessed to more, won more & reached further than Jesus had a chance to in His short life with the limited means at His disposal. So, PTL!
14. (MARIA: THAT'S WHAT I WANTED TOO!) Yes, Honey‚ I'm sure! I think you're an idealist too. I believe that that's what you really wanted too. You really wanted to serve the Lord‚ you really wanted to do something good for the Lord, something great. You really were dedicating your life to the Lord & really wanted to serve Him to the full, so He gave you the biggest job in the World‚ to minister to the most people.—There's no greater!
15. I REALLY BELIEVE THERE'S NO GREATER WOMAN OF GOD IN THIS WORLD TODAY THAN YOU! (Maria: Well...) Of course! Honey, more people are hearing about you & from you & through you & by you & because of you than any other living woman! I don't think there's another woman in this Earth even as famous as you, except maybe Mrs. Ghandi! (Maria: Mrs. Thatcher! Ha!) Ha!
16. AND CERTAINLY NONE OF THEM ARE DOING AS GREAT A GOOD AS YOU'RE DOING. So I think you're the greatest woman in this World, Honey! (Maria: It's just Jesus, it's certainly not me!) Well, it's what the Lord gave you, so that must be what you wanted. I think you're doing just what you wanted to do‚ only maybe much more than you expected.
17. I DIDN'T REALLY UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH I COULD DO or what the Lord was going to do through me, but I wanted to do something big, something great for the Lord, be somebody for the Lord‚ so that's what He did.
18. BECAUSE WE DELIGHTED OURSELVES IN HIM HE GAVE US THE DESIRES OF OUR HEARTS! And what was that? Because our delight was in Him, the desire of our heart was to serve Him in the greatest possible way & capacity that we could, so that's exactly what He gave us.
19. MY IDEAL WAS KING DAVID—WHO WAS YOURS? (Maria: My favourite name was David!) Was there some great woman of God of the Bible who was your favourite heroine? Can you remember anybody in particular that you really admired? (Maria: Everything's sort of been blanked out. I really don't remember!) Ha! The Lord just wiped out your memory & your past input so He could put a lot more in, so the past wouldn't be in the way, I guess.
20. WELL, I'M SURE YOU MUST HAVE BEEN INSPIRED BY THE GREAT EXAMPLES & the stories of great heroines of the Bible & church, missionaries. Who do you think was the greatest woman you ever heard of or knew?—Got it!
21. THE LORD NAMED YOU MARIA BECAUSE YOU WERE LIKE MARIA! LIKE MARY!—Whether you were consciously wanting to be like her or not. Now what woman is greater in the Catholic Church than Mother Mary, & a greater leader of the Church & heroine of the Church? They even worship her! (Maria: I guess she was a leader, even though she had no intentions of being one!)
22. WELL, SHE SURE BECAME A LEADER IN THE AFTER LIFE‚ THAT'S FOR SURE! She certainly has obviously become a leader of the Catholics if nothing else, & that's a pretty big job, I don't envy her! But when you think of Mary as the Church looks at her today, look what a great Queen she is & what a great leader she is & how necessary she is, in a way. (Maria: By being yielded.) Because she was so humble.
23. THE LORD COMPARED YOU TO MARY, SO THERE YOU ARE! I was just thinking & praying about it, "Well now, who?"—& she never entered my mind! I was trying to search through the Bible heroes & heroines & great missionaries of the faith in church history & Mary never entered my mind. I thought, "I wonder who she's going to say that she admired or considered her ideal?" I was trying to think, "Well, now who did she want to be like?"
24. MAYBE YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW YOU WANTED TO BE LIKE HER! Maybe you never dreamed that you even would be like her. But it just came as clear as anything, "I named her Mary‚ Maria, after My Own mother!" What could be greater than that?
25. WHAT GREATER WOMAN HAS THERE BEEN IN ALL HISTORY THAN MARY? The Lord said John the Baptist was a great man‚ but it seems like David was certainly a greater man than John, though maybe I'm wrong. Maybe He had to give John that encouragement since he was about to lose his head! But, Mother Mary, the Lord's compared you to her lots of times, even like that song was written about you! (Beatles' "Let it Be!")—What do YOU think?