—For Those Who've Forsaken Children for the Lord & Others!
(David was weeping in the night:)
1. TECHI IS GROWING AWAY FROM ME. I've lost her! It's too late. I didn't pay enough attention to her. At least I had her when she was a baby. At least I got to enjoy her then. Maybe I did her some good. I'm such a poor father. The Lord has given & the Lord has taken away, blessed be the name of the Lord! (Job 1:21)
2. IT'S JUST LIKE WITH DAVIDITO. I HAD TO GIVE HIM UP TOO. I saved others, but my own I couldn't save. We put her in Thy hands, Lord, You have to take care of her. I'm too busy taking care of other people's children. At least I got to enjoy my first ones. At least I got to be with them. Now I'm too busy to spend time with my own children‚ spending it with other people's children. I have to give up my own. Oh Jesus!
3. I SAVED OTHERS, BUT MY OWN I COULDN'T SAVE! (Mt.27:42) So Lord, You'll have to save them. I think she feels like I deserted her.—That I invited her to come sleep with us & then I ran away. It looks like we were trying to get away from her. So she's trying to make the best of things. She's really cheerful & tries to make the best of things. It looks to her like we don't want her, so she just compensates by giving her love to the Baby & the kids.
4. I'M GLAD SHE'S GOT SOMEBODY, IT'S DORA THAT LOVES HER. Thank God she's got some father, somebody that loves her: Alf & Sara‚ they'll get the crown! I don't get any credit except for giving her up, that's all. I don't get any credit except for giving her up. I didn't do anything for her except desert her, so she's being real brave & really trying hard to adapt herself to it. I'm gone. I might as well be, because I'm not a good father for my own children.
5. I'VE FATHERED THOUSANDS! I SAVED OTHERS, BUT MY OWN I COULDN'T SAVE. That's what my Mother had to do, give me up to save thousands. But it hurts sometimes. (Weeping!) It hurts her too, & she's trying to overcome it by forgetting me. She's just trying to forget me. I think that's the supreme sacrifice—to give up your children. I saved others, but my own I couldn't save.
6. THANK THE LORD HE SAVED THEM! I guess I should be thankful I can even see them for a few minutes a day. But they're Alf's & Sara's now. They've got their hearts & bodies too. We could go away & I don't think they'd even miss us. I'm going to go away. It's better this way.—Then they won't miss me so much. It's better I'm gone already—then they won't miss me so much when I'm not here. Jesus! Jesus! Jesus, Lord Jesus, thank You Lord! Praise You Jesus!
7. I PUT THEM IN THY HANDS. HELP ME TO PUT THEM ON THE ALTAR. (Gen.22:1-19; Heb.11:17) Maybe it's better I don't see them at all. I don't even tell them Grandpa stories anymore. (Maria: Would you like to?) Of course! I don't have any more to tell them. (Maria: We have a whole list of stories that you've never told.) It's too late. My life is a tale that's already told—too much! Oh Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!
8. IT'S DONE! IT'S FINISHED! I've fought a good fight‚ I've kept the faith. I finished the course. Thank the Lord for the treasures laid up for me! Every one is a jewel, a beautiful jewel! Lord forgive me for my covetousness, my selfishness to want to keep my own. They're all my own. There's no difference!—Except she looked to me & I failed her. But thank You Lord, You gave her somebody else to take care of her. I saved others, my own I could not save.
9. BUT SHE'S GOTTEN THE VICTORY & MADE THE BEST OF IT.—Sort of given me up like I've given her up. She was here when I needed her. I guess I don't need her so much anymore. But when I go away, I think she'll remember me. (Weeping:) Do you think she'll remember me? We never have enough time for her. It's never the right time. Lord forgive me for crying! I'm sorry. I should be rejoicing.
10. I GUESS IT WOULDN'T BE WORTH IT IF IT DIDN'T COST SOMETHING TO GIVE UP MY OWN FOR OTHERS. (To Maria:) You're the only thing the Lord didn't ask me to give up. I wonder why? Maybe it's because I've got to have you for His Work. He has to have you to keep me going. You even have to give up your children. But I don't think it's as hard on you as me. I think you try to keep me from seeing them too much, which is probably what you're supposed to do, to save me for the Work. Oh Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!
11. MY LIFE IS A TALE THAT'S TOLD LIKE A DREAM! And I shall go & be gathered unto my fathers. At least they'll remember me. I have to have another bit of wine to drown my sorrows because I can't take it, I'm too weak, so I can lose it, lose this pain & the hurt in the sea of forgetfulness.
12. SHE'S TRYING TO BE BRAVE & CHEERFUL ABOUT IT. She feels like I don't love her anymore. That's what it looks like. She moved into our bedroom with us & then we ran away.—When actually we were just exchanging rooms with the children. Thank God for wine that dulls the pain!
13. SHE HAS A NEW LOVE. She has to have a new love to heal the hurt of the old love that forsook her. The Lord gave her a new love to heal the pain. The only cure for an old love is a new love. I was her old love. Now she's got the Baby & the kids, Alf & Sara, & that's best, because I have to go away anyway. I can't be a good father to her. I can't be a good father to her & father all the rest of these foundlings! I just can't do it all. It's done, anyway.
14. I HOPE YOU'LL GIVE HER SOME ATTENTION & SHOW HER YOU LOVE HER. She lost her Daddy, I hope she doesn't lose her Mother. It just hurts. Lord forgive me, but it hurts! It must have hurt God to give up Jesus, that He might receive Him into everlasting habitations. Then it will be worth it all! Then I'll have time to spend with her. Then she'll understand.
15. "THE LORD HATH GIVEN & THE LORD HATH TAKEN AWAY, BLESSED BE THE NAME OF THE LORD!" (Job 1:21) I just couldn't help it. There's nothing I can do, I guess. It's always too late, it's too late. It's gone. It's too late. It's always too late.
16. WE HAD SOMETHING VERY SPECIAL‚ SO SPECIAL! Now the Lord's taken it away, taken her away, probably so it won't be so hard for her when I go, to make it easier for her if I'm already gone. (Tongues & weeping!) "This is the sorrow of your father & this is the hurt that he grieves‚ that he may be like unto Me‚ that he may know the pain that I suffered, too. For I too gave up My Son that I might save others.—And He gave Himself.
17. "HE SAVED OTHERS‚ BUT HIMSELF HE COULD NOT SAVE! (Mt.27:42) Therefore shall they be received into everlasting habitations & everlasting joy & everlasting blessedness & there shall be no more sorrow neither crying nor pain, & I shall wipe away all these tears (Rev.21:4) & they shall forget the sorrows of the past for the glories of the future!" Hallelujah! Thank You Jesus!
18. "THE THINGS OF YESTERYEAR, THE THINGS OF YORE & THE PAIN SHALL BE GONE & FORGOTTEN IN THE THINGS WHICH SHALL BE! Neither shall there be any more crying nor any more sorrow nor any more pain! For all these hurts shall be forgotten in the joys that I will give them, the things to come. And I shall wipe away all their tears, neither shall they remember them any more, for all their pain shall be forgotten in the beauties & joys that are to come!" Hallelujah! Thank You Jesus! Amen!
19. "FOR YET A LITTLE MORE SORROW & A LITTLE MORE CRYING, A LITTLE MORE PAIN, & THESE THINGS OF TIME SHALL BE NO MORE & shall be forgotten‚ as a tale that is told & like a dream that is past, in the glories that shall come! It will be worth it all." Hallelujah! Thank You Jesus! It will be worth it all when we see Jesus! Thank You Jesus! Praise You Lord! Hallelujah! (Tongues:)
20. "FOR THESE ARE THE THINGS THAT I HAVE GIVEN UNTO DAVID THY FATHER, & THESE ARE THE PRICES HE MUST PAY for these infinite glories & rewards that I shall give him in the World to come! For it is a small thing‚ these sacrifices that he now makes, that he may glory in eternal rewards forever! These things shall no more be remembered & the pain shall be forgotten.
21. "THE TEARS SHALL BE WIPED AWAY & THE FORMER THINGS SHALL BE NO MORE IN THE GLORIES OF THE ECSTASIES OF THE KINGDOM TO COME! These shall be they that shall be no more & they that shall be forgotten like a dream or a tale in the real World to come forever! Then he shall know her as even she shall know him‚ & they shall love forever!" (Tongues) We kiss good bye for now—good night here, but good morning up there! Thank You Jesus! Oh thank God for wine! Thank You Jesus—to make the sad heart of man bearable & the pain endurable, almost glad. (Tongues)
22. IT IS DONE, IT IS FINISHED. There is no more that I can do. So many children, Lord! Forgive me for not rejoicing. So many beautiful wonderful glorious children! So many, Lord, so many, Lord! Lord forgive me for grieving over these little ones that I've lost for now that I may regain millions forever! Thank You Jesus!
23. "FOR YET A LITTLE WHILE & THESE THINGS SHALL BE NO MORE & thou shalt be received into the Kingdom of everlasting habitations & the joys that shall cause thee to forget these sorrows. For God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes, & there shall be no more pain nor death nor dying nor sorrow, & they shall forget the former things & ye shall have only joy & forget the sorrows in the World to come forever & ever!" Jesus, Jesus! (Tongues) (Kisses)
24. "KISS THY FATHER IN HIS SORROW & IN HIS PAIN, for David shall yet suffer many things before he shall be received of Me for everlasting glories & rewards!" Thy will be done, Lord. Even so be it done unto me as Thou hast said. (Tongues) "For all these things shall pass away & shall seem like a dream in the night seasons, when I have received thee into the glories of the everlasting Kingdom & the joys that shall be forever!"
25. "YET A LITTLE WHILE, & TIME SHALL BE NO MORE! Just a little more time, a little while, & thou shalt be with Me forever! Sorrow shall endure for a season, but joy cometh in the morning. (Psa.30:5) Then all these things shall be swept away. (Tongues)
26. "WHEREFORE‚ COMFORT YE ONE ANOTHER WITH THESE WORDS! (1Thes.4:18) Comfort ye your Father in his sorrow, that David may know that I have loved him with an everlasting love that shall never fade away, & I shall recompense unto him all of this pain & all of these sorrows, & the things that he hath lost shall be preserved forever in the Heavenly Kingdom that I have laid up in store for him where he shall rejoice forever! And the former things shall be no more & forgotten. The pain, the sorrow, the death, the dying, the tears shall all be wiped away, & there shall be no more pain nor crying nor sorrow, for all these things shall be forgotten in the glories that are to come! (Tongues)
27. "FOR THIS IS THE PRICE THAT YOUR FATHER MUST PAY & this is the sacrifice I have required of David, that I may show his love to all generations, that he may be like unto Me & My Love that I gave, to lay down My life for others." Jesus, Jesus, Jesus! Thank You Jesus! In Jesus' name! Help me Lord!
28. "SO IT IS SAID & SO IT SHALL BE WRITTEN, that these things might be told, the price that I have asked of thy Father that he may show My love to all generations!" Hallelujah! Thank You Jesus! Praise the Lord! Amen. Praise You Lord! In Jesus' name. Amen. Thank You Lord!
29. "YET A LITTLE WHILE, & THESE THINGS SHALL BE NO LONGER, & I shall take away thy pain & thy grief forever with everlasting joy & eternal solace that shall never end!—And thou shalt have these thy children forever then, & the love that shall never end & a life that shall be forever! Yet a little while & a little sorrow & a little more wringing of the hands, & time shall be no more! Then thou shalt know the love wherewith I have loved thee, as thou dost love them!"
30. AT LEAST SHE STILL LOVES HER OLD GRANDPA WHEN SHE HAS TIME TO REMEMBER HIM. (To Maria:) I love you, Sweetheart! You never ever leave me, never forget you are always with me. Never ever leave!
31. "YET A LITTLE WHILE & THESE THINGS SHALL PASS AWAY LIKE THE NIGHT SEASON, & thou shalt glory in Me & My love forever! A little more pain & a little more sorrow & a little more wringing of the hands, & these things shall be no more. Therefore comfort ye one another with these words. Even as this perfume wipes away the evil, so shall My love wipe away the hurt!
32. "IT IS SAID, IT IS FINISHED. SO SHALL BE THE THINGS OF THY FATHER. Thou shalt grieve no more. Kiss with the seven kisses of thy Father him that is disturbed by longing, until all these things I have promised your Father & the glories I have given unto David shall come to pass! Therefore hold fast to the faith that I have given thee. Wherefore comfort ye one another with these words." Thank You Jesus! In Jesus name, amen.