—Tasty Tidbits!—Compiled by the Staff
KINKY CHARACTERISTICS—(Dad's Jewels)
1. If you tell me I can't do it, then I'm going to prove to you I can! (9/82)
2. I hate to be so particular, but I guess kings are known for that.
3. I hate to be defeated, I hate to give up.
4. I always had trouble with self–guilt & condemnation‚ but now I know it was the Devil trying to get me to give up!
5. I like to show folks I'm concerned about them, 'cause I am. I'm very concerned about people.
6. I think I'd die fightin' if I was ever put to the test!
7. There's a Scripture about being slow to speak, slow to anger, but I don't know if I can fulfil either one of those! I'm not slow to speak. Well, I am slow to anger, it takes a long time to get me aggravated, but when I'm finally aggravated, get out of the way! But I'm sure slow to eat‚ & I think one reason is I talk so much! About the only ones who can stick with me at the table are Dora, because she's feeding Techi first, & David! He's almost as slow as his Daddy! (5/80)
8. Everybody always said it couldn't be done, it was impossible! That's all you have to tell me, that I can't do it, then I have to prove to you I can. Then I'm going to do it even if I have to take the whole project in my own hands & shove it through. (10/82)
9. Some of you people have been living with me for years & I don't think I've changed a bit, have I? I've always been a little bit crazy, haven't I?—Ha! (8/82)
10. I haven't learned Peter's art of how to cover your mouth when you're picking your teeth or your nose. He's so polite! I like to take him out in polite society to show that at least one of us has got some manners! Me, I'm afraid I'm like the Chinese—I pull it out & see what I've got! That's something dear Emanuele & I had a lot in common. Well, it's so hard for me to breathe anyhow, I couldn't stand anything to be in the way. I got one nostril almost shut from the time I was boxing & got my nose broken. It never did breathe very good anyhow & that just about finished it! (8/82)
11. The gift of helps!—I think I've got that gift. (8/82)
12. I was just fascinated by heights that would scare other people to death! I guess I've gotten old now & I'm not too keen on even looking straight down over a balcony! Ha! I guess the Lord knows how to make you. He knows at my age I'd better not be too fascinated with that kind of heights! We're reaching other kinds of heights! PTL! (8/81)
13. You're bound to make a few mistakes or go up a few blind alleys, but that happens to every explorer, every innovator, every pioneer—you don't necesarily win'm all! I'm amazed, though, it's just a miracle of God how we've just about won'm all in the Lord's work! (4/82)
14. Sometimes I feel like old King Midas, it seems like almost everything we put our hand to the Lord blesses & prospers! (4/82)
15. I'm a penny-pincher, I don't spend anything I don't have to. (8/82)
16. You're probably thinking, "Boy, Dad really is getting crazier all the time!" I'll tell you‚ you've got to be like dear King David & scrabble at the gates & act crazy if you want to escape this Achish God-damn achin' System that we live under nowadays! So maybe I'm doing a little scrabbling at the gate & slobbering in order to escape the wrath of the king—the System! (1Sam.21:13) You've got to be crazy to do what we've accomplished!—Have crazy faith & do crazy things ! If this is being crazy, God help me never to be sane! (4/82)
17. I'm very ambidextrous! I can pick up things with my toes & use my toes almost as good as my hands! We had to stop & laugh together when I stuck the microphone between my toes to get it closer to Maria! (5/79)
18. I'm prone to exaggerate sometimes, but I think the kids like it—as long as they know I'm exaggerating! (5/81)
19. I always wonder what people's first impressions are going to be when they meet me & find out that I'm so human & ridiculous! But I'm just me, I can't help it! That's the way I am! You already know I'm a little crazy, you can tell that from the Letters—your Kinky King! (3/78)
20. All work & no play makes me very dull. I'm very very sad when I don't have enough love. Aquarians have a real knack for being sad when they're sad. When they're sad, they're very very sad. But when they're glad, they're very very glad! (3/78)
21. Most of the time I'm very cold-blooded‚ but when the Lord presses the button I get so warm! Every time I get a shock in the Spirit I really get warmed–up, as though I get a shot of electricity! God's Power & Light Company!
22. I remember almost everything I read, but it's a little harder for me to remember what I only hear. (1/82)
23. (Techi: Daddy, you're a rooster!) Yes, I'm a big rooster & I like to protect my hens! Roosters are boys‚ they're very cocky. A hen is a girl. A rooster is a boy or a man & he takes care of his hens. (2/82)
24. I'm always determined to finish whatever I start! (1/82)
25. I like to let people do what they want to do & what they like to do. (1/82)
26. When I'm reluctant about something, watch out! I know I'm slow, I drag my feet, & sometimes it's a good thing I do. I don't let myself get pushed into something that I'm going to be sorry for afterward. It's better when I'm not sure‚ that I go slow. (7/82)
27. I lived my life in reverse—I was an old man when I was young, & now I'm a teenager. I'm not in my second childhood, I'm in my first childhood. (1/78)
28. The Lord showed me one time that He made me like a computer. For years I absorbed knowledge, facts, stories & illustrations. It began not with formal education, but when I went to sleep as a child on a church bench. As science now knows, you never really forget anything you hear or see, it's all up there in the brain cells somewhere, those little memory cells! (6/75)
29. When I'm in deep concentration, I think if there was an earthquake I wouldn't even feel it! In fact, one night when I was courting Eve, there was an earthquake! We'd been making out in the car up on Mulholland Drive in the Hollywood Hills & when we came home they said, "Where were you in the big earthquake?" We said, "What earthquake?"—Ha! We were having our own earthquake! (5/79)
30. I don't like people to show me how to do things, I like to do them on my own. If they try to tell me how to do it, I usually try to do it some other way. I'm an Aquarian pioneer & I don't like to follow beaten paths! (6/80)
31. I never was very good at a desk job‚ this is the first desk job I've really ever had! I get restless at a desk job! I always liked more active work. I quit several jobs that turned out to be desk jobs, good jobs too, where I had to work at a desk all day. It gets me so fed-up that I just want to quit entirely! I really was always kind of an outdoor boy, believe it or not, very active & agile & athletic! I loved to be outdoors & I liked to roam the hills & the woods & swim & go out & all those things when I was young. (4/81)
32. I'm so surprised when I look in the mirror & see that old man looking at me‚ because I don't feel old! And to me, Maria's still just a 17–year-old teenager! (Maria: I feel like that most of the time!) (4/78)
33. I was very skinny nearly all my life. From the time I was a teenager to my 30s, I weighed about 100-120 pounds! Fred Jordan used to get me up on TV & say, "Look at this guy, he's a bag of bones! He wouldn't weigh 80 pounds soakin' wet!" I used to worry about it & my Father said‚ "Don't worry, Son, just wait for the middle-aged spread"—& it arrived! I began to gain a little weight after I got in my 30s. When you get over your youth & you quit worrying so much, then you begin to relax & enjoy life a little more! You don't have to worry any more about what you're going to be or do or if you're ever going to find the girl you love & if she's going to find you!" (7/75)
HAPPY PROPHET!—(Dad's Jewels)
34. Sometimes I say funny things just to be funny, sometimes I say'm to be shocking, sometimes I say'm just because I'm naturally funny. Sometimes I say'm when I don't intend to be funny! (11/82)
35. Mama Eve always did tell me I wasn't spiritual enough. I'm just having so much fun living for the Lord it's hard for me to be too sad & long-faced. I even enjoy Communion. (4/82)
36. I may act like I'm drunk but I'm not, I'm just happy! Because I haven't had anything to drink yet! (8/81)
37. I don't think there's hardly any subject I can't tell a joke on! Ha! That's what comes from living with preachers all my life! (8/80)
38. I'm a happy Pentecostal! I've got holes in my pants & I roll, so I'm a holy roller! (2/81)
39. Hope you don't mind my being happy, but I can't help it! I'm a very happy fellow! (1/78)
40. I sleep better in the daytime than at night! I think the Devil & his demons try to plague me at night. (2/82)
41. What a blessing to be able to get tired! It's so wonderful how you're so tired & so sleepy. I'm so absolutely full of energy‚ it seems like it's impossible for me to get tired. (8/77)
42. Our whole family are night owls! We always stayed up all night & slept all morning. It's an old show business hangover‚ Gospel show business! (7/75)
PROPHET & KING!—(Dad's Jewels)
43. I don't envy you guys that condense things, I don't think I could ever do it! My first wife as good as told me I'd better give up preaching because I couldn't condense anything. I could never preach under two hours! Apollos did a marvellous job on the Quotebook & the Daily Might! He's a genius! (Maria: And the Condensation Book is almost ready to go!) (Peter: He wrote us & said it's like trying to pick out the difference between the 20-karat gold & the 14-karat gold!) Oh‚ bless his heart! I sure have some loyal fans! Well, the Lord has! TTL! I've got the easiest job of all‚ all I have to do is just receive it & deliver it! (10/82)
44. That "Why Anti-Semitism" Letter is a hot one! I told Maria, "Why do I have to stick my neck out?" Lord forgive me for complaining, every Prophet's job is to tell the Truth! (9/82)
45. I was so mad at the Lord after the "40 days" came to an end & it didn't happen & the comet completely disappeared! Ha! I was one mad Prophet! I was about like dear Jonah! I told Maria I was threatening to quit because the Lord didn't keep His Word, but you've read the rest of it afterward! (See "The Comet's Tale!" No.295.) Well, look what He did to poor Jonah—He was going to do it & then He didn't! The Lord repents & changes His mind once in awhile. Look at all the things He was going to do to Israel‚ but Moses prayed & got Him to change His mind. PTL! He says, "I am the Lord, I change not!" (Mal.3:6) Sometimes He changes His mind, but basically, fundamentally He doesn't change‚ He's still Love! (2/81)
46. I'm such a crazy funny prophet! I don't think there's ever been a Prophet in the whole World as crazy & funny as I am!
47. When I say maybe I should fast more, Maria's always quoting me that Scripture in Isaiah, "This is the fast which I have proclaimed, to preach the Gospel to the poor & liberate the captives." (Is.58:6-12) (4/82)
48. Well, I grant you the boss here does originate most of the ideas & suggestions, etc., but I'm always open to suggestions, am I not? (Family: Yes!) I mean, this is a democracy, you can suggest anything you want to, only I make the final decision! (8/82)
49. The boss has to know everything‚ do everything, be involved in every detail. I've been this way ever since I used to fix my own car. The Lord must've made me detailed.
50. David was a wonderful character, wasn't he? He was quite a character too, probably more like me than anybody else in the Bible! Ha! Kind of rough like me! He was pretty violent like me & he loved women like me‚ but he really loved the Lord too & he sang songs & he prophesied, he was a great Prophet! So dear ol' David & me—we've got a lot in common! GBH! (8/82)
51. I get to reading some stuff sometimes & I wonder, "Boy, that's pretty good! I wonder where he got that? This guy's really got a good thought there"—& then all of a sudden there's an ML reference down at the bottom! To me that's proof it's by inspiration, it's the Lord it comes from‚ it has just gone through my head or my mouth & I didn't even remember it‚ it didn't necessarily make a permanent imprint there. It's not always as good as your computers where you've always got a record there & you can retrieve it, although a lot of stuff comes in here & sticks!—Lots of facts & figures & history & dates & a lot of things I've given you, thank God! But I have an abominable memory for names! (8/82)
52. The Lord's been pouring the wine‚ I'm just the pitcher! Ha! It just passes through! TYL! But I'm a pretty good pitcher, gotta real big mouth! I've got a handle too!—And she really knows how to handle it! Ahem! That's my handle, & when the Lord gets ahold of my ear, then He fills it & it runs out my mouth! (8/82)
53. The king has to go along with the Prophet. It's this being a king that's the hard work. Being a Prophet, that's easy, God does it all! Ha! All I have to do is record it. Well‚ there's a little work attached, the poor typists have to type it & we have to edit it & read it & proof it & work it over. It's not that what the Lord said needs any improvement, but the way I said it sometimes does! (8/82)
54. In the beginning of the Family I wasn't prepared to take over the business end, & you might say the political end, & organise the whole thing in those days. I was just lost in another World hearing from the Lord & that's all I cared about. I didn't care about trying to get things organised, I was so fed-up & sick of organisation & churches & everything else I never wanted to see another one! But if we were going to have any fellowship & power & ability to evangelise the World, we had to do it, & I had to do it eventually. I didn't want to do it but I had to, because I saw the ones in charge were making one Hell of a mess out of it & we were losing more disciples than we were gaining through the Chain & their policies. So I saw I had to take it over, take it away from them. (4/82)
55. We're pretty non-profit, that's for sure! We've only got one main Prophet in the whole outfit, & that's me! Ha! Well, actually you're all prophets, anyone who's forth-telling the Word of God. You don't have to be a fore–teller, all you have to be is a forth-teller to be a Prophet of God. That's what the word really means, you're forth-telling the Word of God. Whether you're just preaching the Gospel or fore-telling the future, you're still a Prophet of God! (4/82)
56. I always dreamed of being a king & having dancing girls, & it's come true! The Lord gives me every desire of my heart, He's so good to me! TYL! (5/81)
57. I'm probably the first man in history that ever ran a revolution by mail—Mail-order Revolution! (4/75)
58. Maybe one reason I never wanted to be a bigshot was that I grew up around bigshots & I saw what it costs! It meant you had to be servant of all & it's hard work. (5/75)
59. I said, "Lord‚ I never wanted to be an administrator, I never wanted to run anything!" And He said‚ "That's why I could trust you to do it!" And then Abrahim said, "I have given you the kisses of their father!" (3/75)
60. I'm just a piece of pipe! The Lord turns on the faucet & the water goes through the pipe & waters the people! (4/82)
61. I don't like to give orders to people. I like to give them a gentle hint or a suggestion. And as my dear Queen says: "Thy wish is my command!" XXX! (12/81)
62. It's the guys who start at the bottom & work their way up through the company & know everything about it & had all these experiences who really make the best administrators, because they've been through it. That's why the Lord chose me to be your leader, because I've been through it. There's nothing I ask you to do that I haven't done. I've been through the whole thing from the bottom, even lower than some of you began, so that I understood the whole thing from bottom up. (7/82)
63. Prophets seem to have all the liberties the other guys don't have. They seem able to get away with a lot! Imagine Isaiah walking around naked for 3 years! I just did it for about 3 minutes in Laurentide & got caught by Josh! Did I tell you about that time when Maria & I were walking through the woods in Laurentide?—Beautiful, deep woods! But it was just the Lord we got caught by Josh, because a few minutes later, this French family came walking down the path, so thank God I had my clothes on by then! (4/75)
64. They used to say a man's usually given his best to a pastorate & preached about everything he knows in about two years. Come to think of it, I've lasted longer than that! Well, it's mostly because of what the Lord gives me, the Lord's ever–fresh & new & He's constantly surprising me! (11/77)
65. I hate business! I not only hate it, but I don't like to have to get involved in it!—Never have, never cared to, never cared about money, never expected to be any kind of businessman or administrator or organiser or any such thing at all! I never had any desires along that line whatsoever! It was almost forced on me by the Lord! I'll never forget the time in that little room in London when I didn't want to go back to the States to straighten out Jeth & the mess he & Deb had gotten things in as usual, the Lord told me very clearly, "Sorry, but you're not only a Prophet, but you're also a King!" (11/78)
66. Isn't Maria the most wonderful boss? She's so gentle & so sweet! It's so cute the way she keeps shoving work in front of me: "Honey, would you do this little thing? We need this little Letter." She's so sweet & tactful about it. (Maria: I know you'll do it anyway!) You just want to make sure I do, to keep me busy, it's good! (Maria: You keep very busy!) (8/81)
67. (To Maria:) I was willing to give up everything for you, & I thought even then I might have to if they turned against me. But you see, it was God's will‚ because through you I gained everything‚ through you came the kingdom! As I had in that one revelation about the Division, about Bathsheba. It said she was the kingdom because through her came Solomon. So you were the kingdom 'cause through you came the Family! If it hadn't been for you there never would have been the Family or a Kingdom. You were a fulfilment of the Kingdom. You helped me gain the Kingdom, Honey, & my title. Of course it was all the Lord, it had to be the Lord! (6/81)
68. I don't even like when Maria goes to the store without me! Ha! It used to be one of us wouldn't even go out of the room without the other one, we were so inseparable! I'll never forget one of the first times I ever let her go anywhere without me. I thing it was to the doctor's or dentist or something. And the first time we were ever separated any length of time‚ OH!—I didn't know it was going to be so hard! I almost gave up! If it hadn't been so important I wouldn't have done it, but I had to fly from Houston to Los Angeles to see Fred about getting the use of the Ranch for the poor kids because they were sleeping out there in the mud & the water & the rain & the cold in those camps around Houston & they were just miserable! (7/81)
69. Maria's Scripture tape is one of the sweetest tapes! Whenever I'm really low or sick or nigh unto death, that's what I call for‚ & I think it'll be such a blessing to the Family! Oh, that's my favourite tape of all tapes! When I'm dying I'll call for that tape. It's probably going to be playing when I die. Beautiful! TYL! That's the way she always read Scripture to me when I was sick or dying, which was pretty often in the old days. (8/82)
70. How could the Lord be so good to me to give me such a pretty little girl? Well, I ordered her! PTL! But look how long the Lord's been filling my order! He knew what the order was going to be a long time ago & had already produced her. I don't know why He had to wait so long to fill my order on you, Honey, from scratch on your Daddy's first scratch!—Just two years after I'd married Eve. But Eve fulfilled her mission & purpose, & I guess she still is. (8/82)
71. Maria's the little robot, so when she gets the right stimulation, she gives the right response. Well‚ I stimulated her this afternoon too & she sure gave the right response! She's like me—when she explodes she talks in tongues. But I don't understand how come when you explode you talk about me? (Maria: What better is there to talk about?) Well‚ the Lord! But anyway, the trouble is, when I explode Abrahim talks all about me too! Ha! So I get it going or coming! (8/82)
72. That's why the Lord gave Maria to me & gave her a lot of drive, so she could push me along! Otherwise I'd be a lazy loafer. (Maria: You already have so much drive yourself, but together we do even better!) (9/81)
73. (For Maria:) "The fear of her husband is the beginning of wisdom." (4/75)
74. Maria was an old maid, but I took care of that! Now she's a young maid! (7/75)
75. I'm thankful for my little lawyer of faith here that never doubts & always trusts. She's got such faith, I'll tell you! That's what first won my heart & that's what made me what I am, is her childlike faith in me & the Lord, & when I get mad at God she chides me for it. (7/82)
TECHI & DAVID!—(Dad's Jewels)
76. (To Techi:) That feels so good! ILY! I've got a little girl that kisses my feet like Mary Magdalene! Her hair's getting so long & pretty! Our little movie star! She never gives up, she gets what she's after! (Sara: She knows a good thing when she's got it—you!) She knows she's got it too! (9/82)
77. I hate to ever refuse to answer a child's questions, because that's their learning process‚ & you have to tell them, even if you have to stop sometimes in the middle of something. (10/81)
78. The Lord understands little girls, that they like to sit with their Daddies when they don't see them very much—& their Mommies too! PTL! (10/81)
79. (Techi finishes her meal:) Good girl! You have fought a good fight, kept the faith, finished the course, & now there is laid up for you a cup of good juice! (1/82)
80. (To Techi: ) Why do you love your Grandpa so? When I was so sick & dying I was about to go up & see you, but the Lord knew I had some more work to do here, so He sent you down to comfort me & take care of me so I can get my work done. (8/82)
81. Techi won't let me say "I love it." I have to say "I like it." Out of the mouths of babes & sucklings I'm corrected! (Maria: You just love people & animals & maybe dollies, but you like food.) (To Techi:) Why are you looking at me in such awe & wonder? Isn't that sweet? Such love, such love‚ such wondrous love! (8/81)
82. (To Techi:) You like eating with Grandpa, don't you? And drinking with Grandpa! You like everything with Grandpa, 'cause you know that Grandpa likes you too!—Just the way me & David used to do too when he was your age. (To David:) We used to have lots of fun together, didn't we? Well, she needs me now when she's little, more than you do. You're grown up & getting to be a big strong man! (9/82)
83. (To Techi: ) What did you want to say, Sweetheart? That's OK, I forget what I'm saying sometimes too. Everybody does that. Eat your soup & it'll come back to you. Was it about slippers, shoes, packing? ILY! I love you so much it almost makes me cry. XXXXXXX! ILY! Oh, she was so sweet when I came in & she cuddled me & said, "Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!" She was so good to Daddy. ILY! I'm so glad you didn't go away. I would've missed you so much! You made a sacrifice to let the other children go while you stayed home to take care of Daddy & to cheer up Daddy so Daddy wouldn't get too lonesome. If I didn't have any children I would get so lonesome! (12/81)
84. (To Techi:) Aren't you thankful for God's angels? And one time you were my little angel taking care of Daddy! Every time you came to Daddy you healed Daddy when you were a little angel. You were a little angel even before you came to Mommy's tummy. Even before you were born & came to this life you were a little angel taking care of Daddy. XXXXX! Isn't that wonderful? And you're still an angel, you're my angel! XXXXX! ILY! Daddy's little angel!—And Mama's little angel too! (12/81)
85. (To Techi: ) I love you‚ Little Angel! Come on up! There you are! You're up on the lap of the big giant Grandpa—Snowman! (Techi: I like my big giant!) That's good, I'm glad! I'm a jolly gold giant tonight, see?—All in gold! Do you like my nice gold shirt I've got on? I'm not a jolly green giant, but a jolly gold giant! (12/81)
86. (To Techi:) You know Daddy can't say no to you, he'll just give you anything you want, just like Jesus does with me. Because I make Him happy He gives me anything I want. (12/81)
87. (To Techi: ) You're a little girl now, but you're still my baby. You'll be my baby all your life. Mommy's still my baby too! I call her Honey Baby all the time. (Techi: Why?) It just means I love her—a sweet baby you love! (5/82)
88. (To Techi: ) You're Grandpa's little guardian angel, my little fairy princess! How come you love me so, huh? (Techi: I just love you!) I love you too! You even loved me before I was born‚ how about that? I mean before you were born. Maybe before I was born too! Every time I got real sick & nearly died, Techi almost always appeared. Isn't that amazing? That is such a miracle how she could already be in existence & not yet born! (8/82)
89. I've been used to having kids playing around my feet when I was teaching ever since I can remember! It really doesn't bother me at all. I hope it doesn't bother you too much. I really sort of enjoy it, because they can't be expected to sit still so long. (8/81)
90. (Dad helping Techi to eat:) She's a big girl, she knows very well how to feed herself‚ but she just likes a little extra attention. Grandpa used to do this a lot when she was little, so she still likes to have me do it now to know that I still love her. You're still my Techi & I'm still the Grandpa of you! (8/82)
91. Dora is teaching Techi real good manners & I like that! That's how I was raised, always saying "Yes, Sir" & "Yes Ma'm" to my elders! (1981)
92. (To Techi:) Who's the boss around here, anyhow? (Techi: I don't know.) You don't know who the boss is? Well, do you know what a boss is? A boss is the head man who tells the people what they should do. Now who's the boss? Who's the head man here that tells the people what to do? (Techi: Jesus!) That's right! I was hoping you'd say that! Very good! (1/82)
93. We had so much trouble in my family because my father & my brother both had the same first names & my mother used the same name for both of them, so I just about swore I was never going to name a son of mine after my name. But your Mama just insisted‚ she would have nothing else but for you to be named David after your Daddy. (2/82)
94. I'm slow about everything, ask Maria! (Maria: Very thorough‚ however!) There's only one thing I'm fast about, making love to women! But personally at my age I'm not very fast, although we always seem to succeed! Path always sucks–seeds too! (5 /80)
95. You didn't know I was a mechanic, did you? That must be why I'm so good with women, it's a mechanical job! You just have to know how to crank'm up! Women are also good mechanics, they have to know how to crank'm up too! (5/80)
96. I don't know why they think you can't love two people at the same time, I could love you all at the same time if I could reach you—but when it comes to sex I stay strictly with the women! Sorry boys! (5/80)
97. You know how I know I couldn't be the Antichrist? I may wear out the Saints, but I do regard the desire of women! (11/82)
98. It's gotta be Heaven with all these Heavenly visions around! TYL! Just what I always wanted—a harem of beautiful‚ scantily-clad maidens! Wow! (4/82)
99. What kind of tea are you giving me tonight?—Comfrey? Is that supposed to help me come free? Sounds kind of sexy! Really turns Communion into Come-union! (8/81)
100. When I'm too tired to kiss the girls, then I must be tired! (5/82)
101. I think the Miss Universe Contest is very interesting & they're usually beautiful. The only thing I don't like about beauty contests is that they don't all win! I think it's very unfair to say any of them are more beautiful than the others. As far as I'm concerned, we've had our own & you girls are all winners!—And that's how I feel about these beauty contests, they all look like winners to me! Of course, I must admit some of them I like better than others, especially the sweet ones that have a sweet smile & look friendly & have nice personalities. Better go now, better stop eyeing these pretty girls! But I've gotta have one more squeeze! (7/82)
102. I can hold two girls very well & love two girls at once very easily! That's why God gave me two arms, so I can love two girls. XXXX! (7/81)
103. Greasy cheeks I don't care much for, but wet lips I like! (8/82)
104. Thank God for freedom, amen? There's nothing to be ashamed of anymore‚ we're just the way God made us. Sometimes I'm a little bashful & shy about running around here naked, but I figure, well, you might as well know the awful truth & how ugly old men are! But Maria always says that she likes the old established firms & she says kings should be substantial! (8/82)
105. If I was sitting that close to a woman like that‚ there'd be sparks flying! It doesn't take mathematics to figure her figure, does it? (8/82)
106. I know I'm still going to be married to my queens & wives when I get to Heaven! You're my women, my wives! These men are not your husbands, I'm your husband. These men are your consorts, that's what the Lord called them. I'm glad you have these consorts because I certainly can't take care of all of you, I'd be worn out! I'm already worn out! I have a hard enough time trying to keep dear Maria here happy. Well, I try to keep you girls happy the best I can but not like I used to. The old grey stallion is not quite the stud he used to be! Well, that's one of the problems & weaknesses of the flesh, but I can still do it, as you know, on occasion. PTL! When I rise to the occasion! (7/82)
107. I recognised all three of those girls dancing on video right away, just from the body without even seeing their faces! Once I make love to a girl, I never forget them! (5/81)
108. I like left-handed girls, they're really great! When you're sitting next to them at the table you don't have any conflict. Be sure you sit on their right hand‚ though, don't sit on their left hand. In fact, you'd better not sit on their hand at all!—Because their hands really know how to... (Maria: How to what?) That's why I like typists so much, they have such strong fingers! (11/79)
109. I don't know why the Lord made me so sexy, except I guess He wanted me to enjoy life to the full, & sex is a part of enjoyment—one of the best parts! I like girls! I like women! I think they're the best thing the Lord ever made! I like everything there is about them! I like to look at them, feel them, squeeze them, kiss them, love them & everything I can do to them! And they seem to like it! And I like what they produce! I like them when they get pregnant & I like it when they have babies‚ I love their babies, they're so much fun! I think women are wonderful! (12/75)
110. I like things when they just happen naturally! (3/78)
111. My oh my, how could I possibly resist so many beautiful women? (Maria: You can't!) God made you women absolutely irresistible! Well, they resisted me for a good many years, so I'm making up for lost time now! (Maria: How could they have?) Well, you should have seen what a skinny little nobody I was then. They never gave me a second look! (Maria: That proves that you've improved with age!) (3/78)
112. Whatever woman sits on my right hand is my special lover for the night! Maybe not all night, but at least while you're there! (8/80)
113. How could a sexy generation like this not have a sexy leader & a sexy God?—The One who made sex. Thank the Lord for it! And I hope you enjoy it as much as I do. (2/82)
114. Paul said he liked to serve the Lord without distraction, but me, I prefer distractions! He said if there weren't any women around he could serve the Lord without distraction, but personally I like the women around & like to be distracted! (3/82)
115. I like girls' hands. That's why the Lord calls them handmaidens, their hands are very important! (1/82)
116. I guess I'll never lack for love‚ I have so many lovers! GB'M! (2/82)
117. The most important part of a woman's body is her tummy! It gives birth to the human race. I love to squeeze them & pet them, massage them—along with what's just below & what's just above too! Every part of a woman is beautiful! (3/81)
118. I've really slowed down in my lovemaking—I used to be able to take on three in one night, now I can only take on that many in about one week! (7/75)
119. My father used to say because of church on Sunday‚ that Sunday begins on Saturday night!—Which meant we had to get cleaned up & get our clothes ready & our shoes shined, everything ready for early morning Sunday School. (10/82)
120. I always sang bass or double bass. That's why I was always in demand as the villain‚ because the villains always have to have these basso profundo voices to scare all the little girls—but they seemed to enjoy it! I got to kiss'm too, something the hero couldn't honourably do until the end sometimes! They pretended that they were frightened but they yielded to my kisses! You can get away with quite a bit in high school on the stage, & being the villain I could get away with almost anything. It's kind of like what I'm doing now: In the eyes of the World I'm the villain! (8/82)
121. (To Techi:) When I was a little boy I fell from no greater height than you were standing on a minute ago (a chair) & broke my arm! (9/81)
122. It's almost midnight‚ what they used to call the "witching hour," when all little children were supposed to get in bed before all the little hobgoblins & witches came out! That little poem by that famous poet that my mother knew, James Whitcomb Riley, used to terrify me! I remember one of my babysitters read me that poem & I used to be practically terrified! It says you should do this & that & every verse ended with: "Or the boogey man will get you if you don't watch out!" It was supposed to be a warning to naughty children that you must do this & you must do that & you'd better get to bed early, or "The boogey man will get you if you don't watch out!" Well, we don't have to worry about the boogey man because we love Jesus & He takes care of us. But if you run outside of God's will & you do things you shouldn't, sometimes He lets the boogey man get you. So if you disobey the Lord, then the boogey man will get you if you don't watch out! (9/81)
123. Before the days of television, radio dramas were a terrific thing! Even in the days when there were cinemas & movies, radio brought drama into the home so you didn't have to go out. I can remember many an evening when we used to congregate in the home, family‚ friends & neighbours, & listen to the latest very important serial or drama that we liked. We'd all gather in & sit just absolutely motionless around the radio listening to those dramas, & you could visualise it in your mind so easily! (8/81)
124. When I was bad they used to make me stand in the corner with my nose against the wall & recite all the Scriptures that I knew! I had to begin with the first Psalm & recite every Psalm I knew all the way through the 91st, & that's a lot of Psalms! I knew a lot of them, because every time I was bad I had to learn a Psalm!—Ha! And then when I was bad again they made me stand in a corner & recite them all! (4/82)
125. When I was a child my job in the kitchen was to cut the bread & add the colour to the margarine or the oleo & to mix up the oil with the peanut butter.
126. I had trouble with adenoids as a child & they sure added noise!
127. I used to come home from high school & give geography lessons on the front steps of my house to grade school students.
128. In college I was a philosophy major‚ but I sure didn't last long!
129. Poor little scrawny me was not very good in school at sports, but I did like pole vaulting & I really was good at the test–your-grip machine. Everyone marvelled when they saw how I could win over everyone else with a stronger grip. I guess that's the advantages of a handicap! Compensation!
130. To me, school was the nearest thing to Hell on Earth, full of devils & demons! The majority of the schools were full of rough tough violent criminals. They were always picking on me, especially because I was a preacher's kid.
131. I never liked to make mud pies when I was a kid. Other kids loved to sit & play in the mud & make mud pies, but I couldn't stand it! My mother said she could remember me coming in & saying, "Icky! Icky! Icky!"—my hands all covered with mud—when all the other kids were having so much fun! At first I thought it would be fun, but I didn't like it. (8/82)
132. I am very thankful to my Mother! She even believed in prenatal influence. She used to go to symphonies & art galleries & everything before I was born because she genuinely believed she was really influencing my personality. So that probably made me start being interested in good music. I don't know whether her seeing pretty pictures could've influenced me or not, but I do like pretty pictures, especially of pretty women! (6/81)
133. Doesn't Dora print pretty? I couldn't write like that when I was a little boy. My writing was terrible! It was all scribbly. In everything else I got A's, but I got B's & C's in writing. I was always using the finger motion & the teacher would come around & grab my arm & say, "No, no, no!" You're not supposed to move your fingers or your wrist. I was so glad when I finally got out of fourth grade & we didn't have writing anymore! Fifth grade, no more writing, & ah, that was such a relief! Well, you can tell I was a terrible writer, you see it everyday. (Family: We love it!) Well, that's because you love me! Maybe my teacher loved me too, but the kind of grades she gave, it didn't look like she loved me! I'm sure that's what I earned. (7/81)
134. That's the only time I like to go swimming‚ when it's nice & warm! I'll tell you, when I was a little kid they almost had to drag me out of the water! We'd just think of every excuse for going back in! We'd "accidentally on purpose" sit down in the sand or roll around & get all covered with sand after being wet, & of course we had to take one more dip to get washed off! Or we'd come running back & when we were supposed to put on our shoes & socks & we'd say, "Oh Mama, we can't put on our shoes & socks with all this sand all over our feet! We've got to run back in & wash off the sand!" There was absolutely no end of that & they finally had to put a stop to it! They just practically had to drag me by the hair of the head out of the water when I was little! I loved the water! Of course I'm an Aquarian, I guess I'm a real fish! I loved the water—warm. Now you couldn't drag me into a cold pool by the hair of my head! It's too cold‚ I don't like cold water! (2/82)
135. I don't think I've ever felt at home in this World. Since I was a little boy I always felt like a stranger. It always seemed like everything was strange & people were strange & they weren't like my Mother & Father. School was almost the worst part, because it was full of ungodly strangers‚ children of the Worldlings of this World, rough & tough & cursing & ungodly! About the closest thing I could find to Heaven was home or church. School was Hell! (3/82)
136. I'll have to show you how I built my catapult! (David: My catapult fell apart.) Well, maybe if I'd have used mine enough it would've fallen apart too. The science teacher just wanted it for an exhibit, but when I first built it‚ it would shoot! I just used an old wooden spoon for the catapult part, only I carved it to make it round so it wouldn't look like a spoon & it would look like the ones I'd seen in movies & pictures & books & stuff. Mostly I modelled it after a picture I found in an encyclopedia or history book somewhere.
I got some wheels off some old toy & I got some balsa wood‚ because that's the easiest stuff to carve, & I modelled it right after that picture. I had to guess at a few things because you couldn't see everything. But I got through with it & painted it & it really worked too! I put a hinge on the bottom of the handle of the spoon & then it was sort of built like a crossbow because that was the way this one was built. I took little pieces of springy bamboo & made the bow with two cords tied from the ends of the bow to the part right below the spoon bowl.
When I brought it to school the boys had all kinds of fun shooting marbles with it! It was built to scale so that the marble was about like a canon ball! We were shooting marbles all over the place until the teacher stopped us! I mean, it could really shoot'm! It was almost like that slingshot that we had to scare away the birds. But that was kind of a highly technical thing & it took me quite awhile too. I always liked to build things, & finally the Lord helped me build a Family! (8/82)
137. It used to scare me half to death to read Edgar Allen Poe stories! One night when I was only about nine or ten years old I got so scared I had to stop reading! It was dark & I was alone in the house that night & they were really weird stories! Whew! (8/82)
138. I was just a little nobody & they didn't even know if I could sing or not. But once upon a time I surprised them when I grew up & got to be a teenager! My Mother didn't have my Daddy or my brother & my sister to depend on for her music anymore, so she decided, "Well, let's see if David can sing. I'll take him to the vocal teacher & see if the vocal teacher can teach him to sing." Well, I could already sing, really‚ & I used to sing some funny little songs. When I was real little they'd get me up on the platform before 5000 people in Mama's Tabernacle & I'll never forget how I dreaded it! (8/81)
139. I was raised with that nice Coloured accent in our home. We almost always had a Coloured maid & I was even nursed once by a Coloured Mammy when I was a little baby! (8/81)
140. I'm sure glad I had years of experience of living by faith with my Mother & Father. You learn so many lessons as a child! What a wonderful‚ wonderful foundation they gave me in the life of faith! (9/81)
141. That was always the end of my wading in the water, if I got my clothes wet. Then my Mommy made me come out & change my clothes & I wasn't allowed back in again because I got my clothes wet. When we lived on the beach where it was real hot I was able to stay in my swimming trunks all Summer—even sleep in them! Never had to wash'm! I was in & out of the water all day—a real waterdog! (10/81)
142. If I didn't do it just right‚ everybody'd scream at me! Well, my brother & sister were usually the ones that screamed, "Look how David cut the bread! You didn't mix the peanut butter good! Look at the oleo, it's all speckled!" I had to colour the oleo in a big bowl until I was full-grown. (4/82)
143. I used to help my Mama mix things before they had electric mixers. You'd have a big bowl & a big spoon & you had to mix'm by hand. If you beat the cream fast enough you could even beat it up to butter—which I did by accident a few times, & my brother & sister got so mad at me! We were just ready for apple pie with whipped cream, & the cream had all turned to butter because I was standing there dreaming & beating it too much. All the funny things Daddy used to do when he was a boy!—All the interesting things you guys missed because everything's done for you! We had so much to do we didn't have too much time to even listen to music, we had to keep busy cutting the bread, mixing the oleo & the peanut butter & beating the milk! On the farm I even used to churn butter with the farmer's wife! (4/82)
144. My brother & sister were often mean to me because I was a good little Christian & they weren't very good Christians. See‚ they were born before my Mama was saved, while she was still a sinner & didn't even believe in God, so they were little heathens. They got saved later. (4/82)
145. Have you guys ever been to New York's Rockefeller Center ice-skating rink? I even took my cat there! I used to love to watch them skate around in those sexy little short skirts & wish I could skate. I'm a whiz on roller skates. I can fancy-dancy the roller skates‚ dance, skate backwards. But I tried to stand up on ice skates & I think I was a hopeless case. Maybe if I'd have stuck to it long enough I'd have succeeded, but there's only one thing I was worse at than that, & that was skiing! Ha! But I don't think you can beat me in the water or climbing or a lot of other things I can do. (7/82)
146. The Lord let me get quite an education in the World even when I was young. I'm sure the Lord was the one that allowed me to sneak off to all those movies & see what the rest of the World was like, otherwise I never would've known! I spent most of my life in church & at home & at school. School was bad enough, that was Hell on Earth! I buried myself in my studies & some of it I kind of enjoyed, but a lot of that junk was a waste of time! But the Lord let me get a pretty broad education so I would understand this World & what it's got & what it hasn't got. I don't think you have to experience everything in this World & know everything, but I think you need to know a little about it. (7/82)
147. When I was a teenager I was so skinny I was ashamed to get into a bathing suit! Not when I was just a young boy, but when I got to be a teenager & conscious of girls, then I was worried about my skin-&-bones. (2/82)
148. I can remember when I was a little boy we always used napkin rings with our names painted on them, what they called bone napkin rings. They didn't have plastic in those days. I had one of the cutest little ones, it looked silvery & it had a whole lot of different little pictures. It was like a carved relief of a little Dutch boy & a windmill & a dog & all kinds of things & I used to turn that 'round & 'round. It was a continuous picture all the way around & I kept turning it around & looking at it & looking at it & looking at it & I was fascinated by that little napkin ring! (2/82)
149. Saturday night was bath time‚ when everybody took their weekly bath. You'd fill your bathtub with no more than three inches of water & you'd put in one tea kettle of hot water & that just took the chill off enough to be able to get in without freezing! I never knew what hot water was until we moved into that big mansion on Bayshore Drive where the water heater blew up in my face, that hot water that blinded me. That was a new thing & that's why we were so careless in trying to strike the match. (2/82)
150. When I used to listen to radio WLW as a boy, their last program at night was called "Moon River" with poetry & music‚ & I loved that program! It came on about 11 o'clock for about an hour & then signed off at 12, & I'd often go to sleep with my earphones on & my cat lying on my chest. And sometimes if I went to sleep listening to one of the local stations, all of a sudden 6 o'clock in the morning it'd come on again & wake me up in time for school! (4/82)
151. Making radios was a lot of fun & I really enjoyed it. I also made a lot of money in those days when poor little boys didn't have much money & didn't get much. I was even loaning money to my brother & uncle & other people! Ha! So I wasn't really after the money so much‚ it was just fun, but of course I needed money to support it. It was kind of like the work we're in: I work for the Lord because I like it & enjoy it & want to do it & it's fun & beneficial, but we do need money to keep making the books! (2/82)
152. (To Techi:) You're always doing those acrobatics & I'm always afraid you're going to fall! I had so many bad falls when I was little, it's just a miracle of God that I survived them! (10/81)
153. I always loved tree houses when I was a kid, I used to build platforms up in the top of trees & I'd go up there & read books! I even spent the night there sometimes! I liked the feeling of being able to hide up there where nobody knew where I was. I had almost a feeling of superiority, like I was above the rest of the World & unseen, hiding out, & they never even knew I was there! It's kind of symbolic of what we're doing right now! I can see what they're doing, but they can't see what I'm doing! (7/80)
154. My Daddy used to look at poor ol' skinny scrawny me, not much over 100 pounds even when I was full grown‚ & say, "Son‚ you're going to have to earn your living by your brains & not your brawn!" He meant I was going to have to earn my living with my head & not with my muscles, because I wasn't very big & very strong. (4/82)
155. I was a little guy, but I could clap the loudest in the whole class! (2/82)
156. When I was about Techi's age & we'd give thanks for the food, my Mother said that I used to say, "In Jesus' name, amen, pass the potatoes!" I wanted to make sure I got the potatoes before some of those other chow hounds got ahold of them!(2/82)
157. My mother wanted to know why I always wanted to sit in this one lady's lap when I was about 3 or 4. She was Mrs. 5-by-5‚ & I said, "She's so comfy!" I could sit on nice cushions & lean back on nice cushions both! She didn't seem to object! (3/ 79)
158. I can remember some of the happiest times of my childhood were spent around the dinner table, just sitting there listening to the old folks talk, telling stories & cracking jokes! I guess that's where I got a lot of mine! (1/79)
159. I think I was as fascinated by engines as Davidito is! Oh, that was the thrill of my life when I could go down to the railroad track & watch the trains go by!—Or the railroad station, better yet! Oh my! I'd get up close to one of those big wheels & look at it & watch the oiler go along & open the boxes & oil the wheels! Those were great days, life was a lot simpler‚ really, not as complicated. Men hadn't learned how to totally destroy each other yet. (5/77)
160. I used to get in a lot of fights when I was a kid & I always got the worst of it. But I felt better afterwards, anyhow, because at least I fought! Better to fight & lose than not to fight at all! Better to have loved & lost than never to have loved at all! (5/79)
161. I never know what a day will bring forth, I almost always have to wait till almost the very hour before I know what I'm going to do! Maybe that's good security—never plan ahead! The only things I have to plan ahead are the publications, but even those keep switching & changing! (10/82)
162. I answer your reports right on yours! I found that's the quickest, easiest way! I used to make notes on letters or reports of what my answers would be, then I'd go to all the trouble of having my secretary type up a letter with all that stuff in it, which is just a whole bunch of repetition of what they said & I said & blah blah & took several times as much time! This way I just sketch quick little notes right on your report or letter & pass it back to you! And you can keep the original for a souvenir! Stuff like that with handwritten notes by George Washington or Abraham Lincoln would sell for a fortune now! But I doubt if they'll be worth very much after the War! (1/82)
163. When I move into a new house, the first thing I have to do is arrange the room & set up an office so I can work. I have to have almost a contoured couch to work on, just sitting up all day on my bottom, my bottom gets sore! (5/82)
164. I took an hour-&-a–half nap today & I made love yesterday, so I'm not working too hard! I can't help it if I wake up early in the morning, that's just a trait of us old folks! Tempus fugit‚ time is short, & you begin to realise that more & more, the older you get. Why waste time lying in bed when you've got so much to do? I wake up thinking about all the work I've got to do & figure I might as well be up doing it instead of just lying there worrying about it! Ha! (10/82)
165. My work is from sun to sun, but Maria's work is never done! (9/81)
166. I don't believe in alarm clocks, they really bother me. Any deadline, & I nearly fall apart! I can't work under pressure.
167. Rome wasn't built in a day, but brick by brick. I just plug along & I do this little Letter in the morning, that little Letter in the afternoon‚ just doing what I can every day. Just regularity‚ constant work, like building a child & educating these children. (10/82)
168. I hate this business of holding work to the last minute & then turning everything in all together!
169. I can't rush! I go all to pieces if I get in a rush! I have to just kind of poke along & do whatever I can do, & that's all I can do each day. I must admit some things inspire me more than others & I really want to do'm! (9/81)
It doesn't matter when the deadline comes, it always seems to come too soon!
170. Furniture is important—I have to sit on it all day when I work! (9/77)
171. I've gotten so dependent on my calculator now I can hardly do math any more! I used to be a rapid-cal expert, I could do figures fast in my head. I took a course in that when I was in business school & it was really helpful, it helped me for years. Now I don't even need it, all I have to do is reach for my calculator & let it do all the work! Kids are probably going to grow up in this next generation & won't even know how to add or subtract or multiply! Why should they? After all, it's all done for them!—Except when those things break down‚ they're stuck! (2/80)
172. I take about an hour a day just keeping a log & stats on my own work.
173. I like to see stats & figures! If you want to make me happy‚ just give me stats!
174. I keep a progress chart in the back of my diary & I know exactly where I'm at on every item I'm working on & exactly what condition it's in & what state it's in & exactly what date it arrived & in what condition. I know what I'm doing! I keep a record of it every day! I spend at least an hour a day just keeping notes as I go along! Every item that passes through my hands I put down a date. (10/82)
175. If I go one day without keeping my diary, I forget most things that happened, & if it's two days it's a hopeless case! I don't write a lot, you know how brief I am, the soul of brevity!—Ha! I save all the longwindedness for my talks! (2/82)
176. I like graphs because I'm very simple-minded & very thickheaded & it's hard for me to understand a maze of stats on a whole big typing page. So I said, "Listen, make some graphs, something simple I can just look at at a glance & see which way we're going‚ up or down! (2/82)
LETTERS & PUBS—(Dad's Jewels)
177. That's a very sexy song! Maybe it's just my interpretation of it that's sexy: "Love is an emotion that causes you to move out into something good!" (Maria: Well, you're the one who wrote the original words in the first place, that's where they got it!) Really? Well, don't blame it only on me, blame it on the Lord or Abrahim or somebody!—We're all sexy! (3/82)
178. I usually like to read the Letter first & pray about it & the Lord usually gives me a title! I really believe the Lord has given most of the titles & the pictures by inspiration, because I really ask the Lord for something. Sometimes it comes out in the talk & sometimes it comes after. (9/82)
179. I've gotten a lot of things from dear Abrahim that are not in the books of man & man's knowledge, & that may not even be known! (8/82)
180. Look how good God's been to us! He's given me enough time to live all these many years to say all these words & get them all recorded & printed & in books so that you know more about what I've had to say than you know about what God & Jesus had to say to all the other Prophets put together! Why? Because He said in the Last Days "greater things than these shall ye do!" (Jn.14:12) John himself said, "If we'd have written down everything Jesus ever said, the whole World couldn't contain the books!" (Jn.21:25) So Jesus must've talked more than I do! (4/82)
181. (After reading "Heavenly Conversation" TK:) I wish sometimes I had a gift like Madame M, but I guess mediums have to deal with little things, while prophets deal with big things! She went into all those little details of everything & she got it all right!—What she said about seeing all those books! There's a prophecy in this Komic about all the many books—it would be nice to have just a Devotional Book of Prophecies‚ they're so beautiful & poetic! It could be called the Psalms of David! It would be nice to have the Prayers in a book too! (3/81)
182. Sometimes I almost groan when I get back a long Letter of 20-30 pages all final-typed & ready for approval! Then when I get into it, it gets so good that I just get fascinated & I go zip‚ zip, zip! I realise that it's really of the Lord & there's really a lot of good things there! (3/82)
183. (To Techi: ) Daddy has some work to do for Jesus. I do work for you everyday! I make those pretty Komix that you like to read & those pretty stories & those pretty pictures. You like'm? Daddy works on those almost every day. Aren't you glad? So even if I'm not here to tell you personally, I put them down on paper so they can read them to you & so they can be read to people all over the World, & not just you & David & Davida, but thousands of children, 4,000 children! I have 4,000 grandchildren & even some great grandchildren! (2/82)
184. What makes me & my writings different is that I say things other people are afraid to say or that they're only thinking. I say what other people wish they could say. But of course they live in one place all the time. I say it, & then I have to run!—Ha! (10/77)
185. Excuse me for talking shop, folks‚ but besides sex & the [ACs], the GN is my favourite subject! Well, in this paper I'm a little bit cautious about the sex, but maybe I haven't been cautious enough about the [ACs]! I'm still alive & kicking‚ folks! I guess my time has not yet come! (9/82)
186. I've been amazed in reading over the Bible in Pictures—I didn't realise they were so prophetic! I never realised I was even talking about us & our future! Just read'm! They're terrific!—And so applicable today, absolutely beautiful! (12/81)
187. The Magazine is your creation, you've all done it! You may not think you worked on it, but if you worked on the Family or you worked on me or feeding the army, you worked on the Magazine! Every army travels on its stomach—but I don't want anybody travelling on mine but me!—Ha! (5/80)
SPIRITUAL SENSITIVITY—(Dad's Jewels)
188. When we lived on that hill in London right across from that huge BBC antenna I used to hear music & voices even though the radio was off! It wasn't loud enough to tell what they were saying, but I could distinguish between speech & music. And if I was hearing music‚ I'd turn the radio on & it was music! And each time I was hearing talking‚ I'd turn it on & it was talking! (1/78)
189. Davidito must have a sense of time like I have! I can wake up in the night & guess what time it is, & I roll over & look at the clock & almost every time that's what time it is! In some places I always used to wake up at exactly the same time every day, like 20 minutes to the hour, etc.! That's when we were living by the NATO base & I wondered if maybe they turned on some kind of powerful equipment at that time. (1/78)
190. I can get a lot in the spirit off photographs! I start off on the picture & then I ask the Lord. It's like a contact. It's like Jeane Dixon‚ they give her some article from the person to hold in her hand & she gets a lot! The picture is almost like an antenna, like a conductor or something & it helps me get something in the spirit. I don't know why, it's just that way. That's the way Gypsies do with their crystal balls. They don't necessarily have to see anything in their ball, the ball is merely a vehicle & used as sort of a point of focus of concentration. But holding that picture in my hand & looking at that face, all these things begin to come to me. (4/75)
191. I get a lot of things in the bathroom, believe it or not, it's a good place to get them, because you're alone & you can go into your closet & shut the door. There's something about a bathroom—you're private & alone with the Lord. (4/75)
192. For some reason you guys always like it when I get mad! The kids always liked that, ever since we were in Huntington Beach! I always get inspired when I get angry & they always liked it when I'd spout off! You guys are still a bunch of hippies at heart! (4/80)
193. I can preach you a sermon on every single word! In theology classes they call that exegesis, you preach a whole sermon on one verse by bringing out the meaning of every single word. Well, I didn't plan it this way‚ it just happens—especially with my big mouth! Well, without my big mouth you never would have had a Revolution either! When the Lord spoke that verse to me: "Open your mouth & I will fill it," that was a pretty big order!
194. Most of what I have to say probably is not original: I probably heard it from my Mother or Daddy or my Grandpa or some preacher or the Bible or the Lord or even Techi! I picked up one of her little expressions, "One second minute!" It usually runs into the second, third, fourth & fifth minute with her‚ though! (4/82)
195. Well‚ no matter what I talk about, sooner or later I get around to either the [ACs] or sex! Of course I'm always talking about the Lord too! (8/82)
196. When I was speaking, I'd almost always pick out somebody in the audience that was receptive & responsive & smiling & encouraging, nodding their head & praising the Lord. That's like saying "sic'm" to a dog! And I always kept my eyes off the old critics & the long faces & the sourpusses, they're enough to discourage anybody. I'd always look at some dear happy responsive soul like Peter! (8/82)
197. Did you feel a little touch from Jesus today? I think He gave us a good lesson! It certainly wasn't mine, I hadn't planned it, I didn't have anything to do with it. All I did was sit here & open my mouth & He filled it. If you want to know why those lessons & Letters are so long, it's just because I open my mouth & He fills it‚ & as long as I keep my mouth open He keeps pouring it in & I keep pouring it out. The only problem is I don't know when to shut it because as long as I keep it open, He keeps filling it. He never runs dry‚ He's a fountain that flows forever, out & in. He pours in & I pour out! PTL! (3/82)
198. I think it must be an old church habit: It's difficult for me to leave before everybody else is gone! In church the preacher is always the last one out after everybody else is gone, so I feel kind of funny about walking out before you're all gone! I'm not trying to shoo you out, don't misunderstand me, so besides being so slow, that's why I'm always the last dog at the bone—years of habit! (8/82)
199. I like to ask questions! I taught school for years & I found out the way to make people think is to ask questions, then they want to know the answers & they start thinking. It's sort of like waving something to eat in front of them & not giving it to them & it makes them hungry! (7/82)
200. I'm so amazed at all the things I talk about I didn't intend to talk about! (12/81)
201. Grandpa's full of crazy stories, I picked'm up from all those preachers. (3/82)
202. I've lived a long time‚ I'm bound to have learned a few things in all these years!—Ha! One thing I haven't learned, though‚ is how to get you to bed early. As long as you sit there looking at me, I want to tell you something! Your sitting there looking at a teacher like that is like saying "sic'm" to a dog! You look like you've got a big mouth & I want to fill it—or I've got a big mouth & I want to empty it! (2/82)
203. I don't know why I'm so longwinded, but I don't seem to be able to cover anything unless I cover it thoroughly from A–Z! (3/82)
DINNER WITH DAD!—(Dad's Jewels)
204. I'm getting briefer all the time! I mean, I'm getting briefer when I'm dictating, but I get a little longwinded here at the table because you're such willing listeners & I can relax & let my hair down & just enjoy your fellowship! (8/82)
205. I hope you don't feel like you're wasting time sitting here at the table with me! I look forward to being with you at night, about the only time of day I just sit & relax & do nothing!—And every once in awhile you get a sermon out of me! (9/82)
206. Why do I like to go to dinner with the Family so much? Why is it such a pleasure & joy that's, in a way, the happiest time of day when our day's work is done & we can sit down & enjoy a good meal? We could eat food ourselves in our room, as I have sometimes‚ but I much more enjoy eating here with you & joining you for Family dinner, fellowship & the children. It's not just the food, we enjoy the fellowship! (7/82)
207. I'm a firm believer in protocol! The Lord talked about it in the Bible, about the head & the foot of the table, & don't sit too high up or you're apt to be asked to go down! We sort of seat the table in order of seniority, who's been with us the longest. It takes you quite a few years to work yourself up to this end! But he that is faithful unto the end, to him shall I give a seat at this end! (11/79)
208. You can go ahead & clear the table, somebody's always got to do the dishes! I never believe in leaving them till late at night to disturb the neighbours. These are just some of the little sacrifices you have to make when you have a family—somebody's got to take care of the kids & somebody's got to do the dishes & somebody's got to do the cooking! Some must sacrifice that others may enjoy the fellowship. (11/79)
209. This is sharing time! At dinnertime we always have report time! If you don't have anything to report, you'd better crawl under the table! (11/79)
210. If you want to please me, girls, get a salt shaker that's got big enough holes in it! That's like a lot of Christians, they've got the savour, they just don't let it out! (11/79)
211. I like candles & they probably don't cost much more than electricity, so the Lord allows me this little indulgence at dinnertime because I enjoy it! There's something about candlelight that's very quiet & peaceful, soft light, not as garish & glaring as the electric lights. (3/75)
212. Honey, you're not recording all my chewing,"chomp–chomp" & everything‚ are you? For goodness sake, she even records my dinners! Are you going to sell these tapes to Wild Wind, Honey? "This is Moses chewing!"—Ha! (4/78 )
213. You could have your devotions after dinner—of course while I'm here I'm always gabbing! (Maria: You're their devotions!) I'm devoted to you, & I know you're devoted to me! (7/75)
214. I was wondering why I was having such an appendicitis attack yesterday, I hadn't had that for ages! And Maria reminded me, "Well, you just got through talking last night about healing & being a fighter & having to attack the Devil." And I never saw it fail, when you preach healing & you start attacking the Devil on that subject, he really hates it & the Lord allows you to be tested too! So he really hits back. That's about the worst bout I've had in months! She could lay her hand on there & feel it literally writhing below the surface of the skin! It was in convulsions & you could hear it gurgling & every bit of it was pain! I was immediately better after Maria laid her hands on me! PTL! Thank You Lord for touching & healing, in Jesus' name, amen. Keep it healed! (9/82)
215. I think if I wasn't such a tough ol' cuss, the Devil probably would've killed me dozens of times already! But thanks to the Lord he didn't, & I don't give up very easy! TTL! (9/82)
216. Most people who've been in the agonies that I have been in a few times with an appendix like that would've rushed to the hospital & had it taken out. If I had, I wouldn't be surprised if that might've killed me. But I just refused to do it! If God doesn't want to heal it, who can? It's all a part of our training & our testing & our being really afflicted with many afflictions, "but the Lord delivereth him out of them all!" I think the Lord kind of enjoys delivering us out of the Devil's afflictions! After all, if He didn't allow the Devil to test us & afflict us, how would He ever have the pleasure of delivering us? It's all a part of our schooling & training & testing. The trial of your faith is more precious than gold! (9/82)
217. I can see fine at a distance but I can't see very good close-up. The older you get the more farsighted you become in more ways than one! (4/82)
218. I drink a lot of water, that's one reason why I stay healthy, TTL! (5/82)
219. I was always allergic to mould & dust. It always makes me sneeze!
220. I'm always tired, I was born tired. I was born with Spanish Influenza, you know.
221. That eye pattern I see occasionally looks like a neon light, a flowing neon light kind of shaped like a basket weave, & it sort of flows‚ sparkles, shimmers. Shimmers, that's the word for it. It looks a little like one of those moving TV test patterns. (7/81)
222. When I've got the strength to get mad‚ you know I'm feeling great! (5/82)
223. My grandfather said the reason he lived so long was he took a ten-minute nap everyday. Whenever he got tired he'd just lie down for a few minutes & take a little nap. Lots of times in the morning after I've been up about three or four hours already I'll be real tired & sleepy. I might even sit there & nod my head & go to sleep reading a Letter, so I just go over & take a little nap & I'm all refreshed & can start over! Then sometimes in the afternoon when I'm really tired, maybe I'll sleep an hour or two. That's the way old folks are! So anyway, take a nap when you're sleepy! (2/82)
224. I've got a busted eardrum, & I could even blow smoke out this ear! But it's not busted too bad, I can still hear with it, TTL! I busted it in a flight trainer flying upside-down, one of those outside loops where all the blood all rushes to your head. I wasn't used to standing on my head! (8/82)
225. One thing I don't need is a laxative! If I ever have any trouble it's the other way. I'm virtually never constipated, I'm very regular, & if I'm not regular I'm usually loose or have the runs. (1/82)
226. Oh, Techi's praying for Grandpa's toes! They really look like they need prayer the way they stick out & curl & are ingrown! Yes, pray for Grandpa's toes, I would really appreciate that because they do hurt me sometimes. Mommy's toes are OK, you don't have to pray for them. My toes were OK too until after we made that trip to Cyprus & I bought those shoes that were too small for me! I was so chintzy I didn't want to throw away a $5 pair of shoes, so I wore them for two years until I got ingrown toenails! And then it continued that way because I wore too-tight stretch socks constantly. That's what you call being penny-wise & pound-foolish—& I've suffered for those tight shoes ever since! My toenails got in a habit of growing that way to protect themselves, because a flat toenail cannot resist all that pressure & has a tendency to become more tubular, so they did. (9/80)
227. But the most amazing thing happened since I've been in warm climates, not wearing shoes or socks! My toenails are now completely normal! They've flattened out & aren't sore anymore! (9/82)
228. Honey‚ if you haven't caught everything I've got by this time, you never will! I've got the episeudics & the heebie-jeebies, & all those strange things! Most of all I've got the Lord, & if you have Him, you didn't catch Him from me, you already had Him! (11/79)
229. How could I be anything but healthy with all these prayers? That must be what keeps me going! (2/82)
230. When I was young I was embarrassed about always being so cold-blooded & I would just rather freeze than put on my sweater or my coat. I just had no end of colds & flu & pneumonia because I was ashamed of being such a puny‚ skinny, scrawny, weak little runt that had to put on coats & sweaters when all the other big huskies were running around in T-shirts! I was even cold in Miami, especially when I went into the air-conditioned restaurants & hotels or got on planes & stuff like that. Let me tell you‚ when I finally didn't give a damn what people thought & I put my sweater on anyhow, I stopped having all those colds! And when I stopped being so lazy & a little more willing to work at it & put it on & take it off according to the temperature, I stopped getting colds almost entirely! (5/82)
231. I believe in fasting, but I don't believe it earns you anything. What God gives, He gives. It's a gift. Fasting may do you good, it may do you good to keep your body under subjection, to sacrifice. To crucify the flesh does you good, but it doesn't earn you spiritual power, which is a gift of God. It doesn't earn you salvation, which is a gift of God. It doesn't even earn you healing, except it might be what's wrong with you, that maybe you eat too much! (RD 878:6)
GOD'S CREATION!—(Dad's Jewels)
232. If you want to keep me happy, always let me work by a window where I can pause now & then & look out at God's beautiful creations. (6/81)
233. What can I see more beautiful or more thrilling or more inspiring than to go to my window every morning & look out at God's gorgeous creation which is always changing‚ always different, always some thing new to see! (8/81)
234. I'd rather live out in God's natural jungle than live in that asphalt jungle of the city! (8/82)
235. I love to watch the sea & waves, & my Mother loved the sea too! We always lived near the sea almost all my life whenever we could. I actually enjoy the sound of the waves, they say it kind of helps you to sleep. (6/81)
236. Do we need beauty? I do, I really do! I need to be able to look out my window & see a beautiful view. I always needed a view to inspire me. (4/77)
237. I'd like to be a gardener, just to be with the beauties of the garden & the flowers. I always loved it outdoors. I certainly didn't want an inside job. I liked to be out in God's Creation, & the only way I could think of to be outdoors & be close to nature & get paid for it was to be a gardener! (6/79)
ANIMALS & BUGS!—(Dad's Jewels)
238. When they'd throw the live lobsters into boiling water at Fisherman's wharf, my sympathies were with the lobsters! Just like in a bullfight, my sympathies were always with the poor bulls! (3/80)
239. (Dad sees a cat:) Kitty, kitty‚ kitty‚ kitty! Meow! I must sound too much like a tomcat! (Techi: She was scared of you, Daddy!) Yes, I think she was! She recognised the howl of an old tomcat! She ran for cover! Sometimes the girls don't run too fast, in fact, sometimes they deliberately run slow! (1/82)
240. I used to be an ornithologist! I used to study birds, in fact, I still study birds! (Maria: And bees!) I used to trap'm & band'm! I wasn't actually in an ornithology class, but I did the pick & shovel work. I caught the birds for the college class, banded them, made the records & did all the work while the guys who took the classes got the credit! But I got paid for it & worked my way through college.
Most of what we caught at Wheaton College were great big grackles! It's a form of crow‚ a huge big bird half as big as a chicken—& mean! Oh brother‚ I had to wear gloves to reach in the trap & pull'm out because they would peck away! And then I had to hold'm with one hand while I tried to get the band around his leg with the other. Once I got the band around & that little piece clamped through the hole, & was I glad to let him go—& he was glad to go too! He'd race off "Squawk, squawk, squawk!" makin' a big noise complaining about it! (1/82)
241. I will leave bugs alone outside, but when they come in & invade the house, I claim the Scripture that the Lord said you are to dominate the World & subdue it! If God's good creatures are outside behaving themselves & leaving us alone, we leave them alone! Live & let live! But when they come inside‚ it's "live & let die" 'cause I don't want'm crawlin' on me or getting in my bed! (4/82)
242. Bugs are buggy because they bug us! You can call them bugs because they bug!—They sure do, they bug me! (5/82)
243. Yes, that's all right for you to call flies "damned," that's okay. Grandpa uses that word sometimes too for things that should be damned. (5/82)
244. I get worried when I don't see sparrows around. Birds are a sign of God's blessing. Did you ever notice how much sparrows are mentioned in the Bible?
245. Every morning I look out there & it's so encouraging to me! There's a whole flock of little sparrows chirping away! It's so encouraging to see those sparrows, because you know the Lord takes care of the sparrows. (8/82)
246. When I open up the bed at night I pick up the pillow & give it a little shake, & open up the sheet & give it a little shake. I don't want any unexpected bedfellows! (Bugs!) (2/82)
247. I do like a little light in the room at night so I can see where I'm going‚ I don't want to trip over anybody. (Bugs!) (2/82)
248. I used to stand & watch the lions by the hour—such majestic animals! God definitely made animals to symbolise people! (1975)
249. I like dogs, but I really like cats better! I guess one reason I like cats is they're so independent, real rebels. You very seldom ever hear of a trained cat that does tricks. All these Leos, all they need is a little petting to make them purr! Well that's fine with me, I love to pet! (3/78)
250. I must be growing spiritually, growing in grace, because when I used to hear the cocks crowing in the morning I used to curse'm & wanna shoot'm! Now I pray for'm & bless'm & thank God for'm & pray the Lord'll keep them & their little brood warm. That's quite a step, quite an improvement over my old self—turning cursing to blessing! (10/80)
251. If you see a murderous look in my eye you know I'm after a fly! (3/82)
252. That was one of the great regrets of my life: I think I will rue having left that big wire fly swatter behind! (2/82)
253. I almost hate flies worse than mosquitoes! They can give you more diseases than mosquitoes & they carry just about everything the mosquitoes don't! (2/82)
254. I cannot live in a house without a fly swatter, unless it's a house without flies. (9/77)
255. If there's anything I abhor in the World, it's rats! If there's anything I dislike worse than flies, it's rats! They must be the dirtiest species there are! (1/78)
256. I'll never forget when I put on my first turtleneck in Huntington Beach! I mean, you just couldn't be a part of the hippy culture & wear anything that even looked System! I had a hard time rakin' up clothes to wear! You couldn't even wear a normal sports shirt, that was even too system, because too many Systemites wore sports shirts! But the turtleneck was quite a new thing & a sort of a new rebel type of dress. I was looking for something else to wear besides suit-coat-&–tie, to be identified with the rebels & the Revolution. So Eve suggested the turtleneck because she said they're wash-&-wear, drip–dry, & you don't have to iron'm!
So at night when I went to the Club I put on my turtleneck & my black beret & my old black felt jacket, kind of dirty & torn, & dungarees & sloppy tennis shoes. I admit I looked more like a superannuated beatnik than a hippie, but at least I didn't look like the Systemites, & that helped identify me with the kids. Especially when we hit the road I was won over to turtlenecks! So it was due to dear Mother Eve's persuasion, & I learned to put my shirt-pocket stuff someplace else! (6/81)
257. I never bought a new overcoat in my whole life! I always had a second-hand one from the Salvation Army or Goodwill! You used to be able to get a really nice coat that way for only $5!
258. I always turn my shirts wrong-side-out when I take them off & hang them up to air. That's why you don't have to wash my shirts very often. In the first place, I don't get them dirty, & in the second place‚ I air them overnight so they're nice & fresh in the morning. (9/80)
259. I hate to wear ties! I used to carry clip-on bow ties in my pocket, & whenever I had to go in someplace that needed a tie, I had a tie! Then they developed the new clip-on type of long ties‚ & I started carrying that around in my pocket & it was a real help! (11/78)
260. I never wear new shirts until my other ones are too old & worn out.
261. I've lived on the road all my life & I can't remember the last time I ever put my clothes in a drawer! I don't allow women to get into my suitcases! I've gone quite a stretch by allowing Maria to get into my briefcase & my pockets, but my suitcase—no—that's where I draw the line! I could go to my suitcase in the pitch dark & find anything I wanted because I've kept it right there in a certain place either for months or years, sorted everything out just so. I know where everything is & I don't want these women getting in there & screwin' things up! There are other things I like them to screw & I told Maria, "I know why the Lord called you a handmaiden." She said‚ "Why?—Because I wait on you hand & foot?" I said‚ "I like you waiting on me mostly by hand!" (2/82)
262. I'm a genuine holy man—I'm so full of holes! (2/82)
263. I don't like short waist-length sweaters at all! They pull out of your pants & leave your back bare. A good length for sweaters is right down to your crotch. I like them to come right over my butty & keep it warm! (3/81)
264. I don't like to wear street clothes around the house. Whoever cooked up men's clothing, I don't know, it's so uncomfortable! So around the house I never wear anything but my robe or shorts & dress as comfortably as I can. (4/78)
265. The height of my ambition once upon a time was to be a gardener! I love to be outdoors & I love God's Creation, so I thought of all the things in life, that would be nice to do! Of all the jobs that usually were available in the want ad columns‚ gardener appealed to me the most!—Only I didn't know anything about it! I could mow the lawn & trim the hedges, but if they'd start asking me to plant flowers I wouldn't know the first thing about it‚ so I figured I'd better not try! I went 50 years wondering what I was going to be! I guess if the Lord had told me sooner, I wouldn't have believed Him anyway! (6/78)
266. I don't know where David got his passion for mechanics & automobiles, of all the horrible things, but he's been that way ever since I can remember! He goes into ecstasies over motorcycles‚ machinery, lawnmower, anything mechanical! Maybe he did get that from me! (5/77)
267. I warned you boys, be sure if there're any major repairs that you don't know how to do, ask me first! I've done almost everything! I'm beginning to know why the Lord had me be such a "Jack-of-All-Trades"! I've had about every kind of job there was so I could teach you kids. You're a whole new culture. You had to have somebody to tell you what to do! (5/77)
268. I love to work with my hands. I used to love building radios & cars or whatever. That must be how the Lord is with us—He loves to see us in action!—His handiwork!
269. Women aren't very scientific, Honey, it takes us men to teach'm how! That's why Grandpa has to tell so many people things, because I'm a scientist & an engineer & a little bit of everything!
270. I think dear Fred Jordan was so much like Saul! He was a character, but he was pretty smart & he taught me a lot of things. There's one thing I sure thank him for—although we had done this for years & my mother had done it—he really taught me the ins & outs of the large mail ministry, which is exactly what we're engaged in right now. This is our mail ministry! Then I learned a lot travelling for radio & television while still working for him, & look how much that's helped in knowing how radio stations operate & what they like & don't like, etc. And I worked in the Post Office & learned how the Post Office operates. There aren't too many things that I don't know something about! I used to develop my own pictures, had a darkroom & did all that sort of thing‚ & used to print. Nearly everything we have to do now, I did once upon a time.
I used to wonder, "Why in the World, Lord, did You give me such broad experience?" It seems like I'm Jack–of-all–Trades! I know a little bit about everything, but I'm not necessarily an expert at anything! I used to complain about that, "What am I going to be, Lord? I know this & I know that & I know a little bit of everything, but I don't seem to know enough of any one particular thing to make me very useful!"
Well, I eventually found out I had to know everything in order to teach a whole generation that didn't seem to know anything practical, not even how to fix a car! I had to be able to take cars apart & put'm back together—mechanic, carpenter, builder, concrete layer, woman layer! I love you! God bless you girls! PTL! Somehow or another I always get back to sex! Well, I used to be ashamed of it, but now I'm not ashamed to admit it, now that I realise that's what the Lord made it for‚ for us to enjoy! PTL! And He made it & not the Devil! The churches really screwed it up‚ you know. They are really screwed up! Ha! (8/82)
271. I always liked working with my hands because you could always see something accomplished, whether it's building or fixing a car or making a radio or whatever. You get to see the work of your hands. I guess that must be like the thrill the Lord gets out of watching the work of His hands! (8/82)
272. I learned how to fix cars the hard way, from A-Z! We were poor & I was the driver & the mechanic too, but I learned the good way. I learned from watching mechanics working on the car. I never left the car alone, I stood & watched everything they did, so I really learned just by watching! I figured if they could do it, why can't I? But I had to learn it because I was the driver of my mother's car. Later I wished I had taken auto mechanics. But because I did like to work with my hands, I took woodworking & mechanical drawing. (6/82)
273. I have now used nearly everything I ever learned to help build the Family or teach them. Even my experience in the Post Office is still valuable, to know how they sort mail. (1/82)
MOVING & CHANGE!—(Dad's Jewels)
274. Moving is like death—the end of one life & the beginning of another! It's like a mother in labour, it's just so good to get it over with! Well, that's the price of being a citizen of the Kingdom of God, always a pilgrim! (1981)
275. I enjoy change! All my life we were always moving & always travelling, I think I'm a real Gypsy at heart! After I stay in a place for a few weeks, I begin to get a little bored with it! I really do! (4/79)
276. I have itchy feet & they like to go places! (3/75)
277. I'm an awful stubborn cuss when it comes to tryin' to tell me what to do & where to go! I'm a born explorer & pioneer & love to go where nobody else has been before or where they tell me I can't go! (8/81)
278. I drove that Cruiser at least 300,000 miles, all over the United States in nearly every city big enough to have a television station, & carried my whole family with me sometimes, as many as 12 people, & we never had an accident, never even dented a fender! The only serious accident I was ever involved in, somebody else was driving, except one time‚ & that's when I was driving somebody else's car‚ & when I slammed on the brakes, there were no brakes! A lady at church had loaned us her car & failed to warn us that the brake fluid leaked, & it turned out by the time she told us to come & pick it up in the morning that apparently the brake fluid had leaked out in the night. That accident put me & Mother both in the hospital temporarily—Mother for a couple weeks, me for a couple hours. But thank the Lord it was not any more serious than that.
But as long as I was driving, & driving my own car, I never ever had a serious accident. Quite a few times people bumped into me when I was a poor college student & needed the money. I paid $300 for my old taxicab, & within about a year I'd made $300 off of it just from people bumping into me & me filing insurance claims against their company for their bumps—I got it all back! Ha! So PTL! Of course I needed the money more than repairs, so by the time I got to Miami it looked a bit battered & dented! I never bought new fenders & new hoods & new bumpers, I just had'm pound it out a bit, & sometimes I'd just paint'm myself. But I'll tell you, that old DeSoto taxicab weighed two tons & it was built like a battleship & it really pulled the trailer great. If you knew how to handle it, it was a good safe car to drive. I like a big heavy car‚ they're a lot safer than these little bugs that can get squashed so easily! (8/82)
279. Maria & I used to ride the buses & go shopping together in London with our little shopping cart. We'd go down & do our shopping & pull that heavy shopping cart onto the bus, then I'd stick it in between my knees between the seats coming home. (8/82)
280. When on the road I'd always use the best hotels to telephone from.
281. I'm not too crazy about flying, & I don't like to fly in bad weather. (2/82)
282. I don't like to ride in a car or taxi where some demon-possessed person is driving it. I don't like to be that much in their power & under their control. They can't control me spiritually, but if you let yourself get in a position where they have power over your body, even just mechanically, it just isn't wise. I'd really have to pray! (7/77)
283. Temperatures in the teens is cold as far as I'm concerned! When it drops down to 20 it's cold, real cold. I have to bundle up & cover up! For me, it's got to stay up to about 24-&-above, really, to be comfortable, & that's about 72 or 73 F.—Best 30 (85F)
284. It's amazing how bad the weather can get in one day & how stormy & rainy & fierce! Really, that kind of weather thrills me! I like to look out & see God's mighty power at work stirring up the sea! I sure pray for the poor sailors though, I'm glad I'm not one of them. (7/81)
THE WORLD!—(Dad's Jewels)
285. The Lord is so good to countries that we visit & where they accept us—I mean, almost instantly He brings rain if they've had drought, or peace if they've had turmoil, etc. (6/81)
286. You folks who have finished your dinner are always welcome to go over & watch the news & see what's wrong with the World! (1/82)
287. (While watching the news: ) Whenever there's news, propaganda & information, there are [ACs]! Take a look! (1/82)
288. I have a desire to return to Malta, but I want to go back there in the Millennium when I have got the whip & I am going to sock it to those guys that caused me so much trouble, I tell you! (8/81)
289. I prayed for Lebanon—that country always makes me cry! MWM getting on the stations there is a little bit more of God's mercy to them. (3/81)
290. There aren't very many people who feel sorry for the Arabs, besides you & me! (1/78)
291. My idea of Hell on Earth is New York! (6/78)
292. If I had time, I'd love to colour the GN posters! You feel like you painted a picture when you get done—& you did! It's a work of art! (10/82)
293. Maxwell Parish is one of my favourite artists outside of Family artists.
294. (To David:) When I was your age I really liked to draw a lot, & I don't think I've drawn any pictures since I was five. I used to draw a lot of pictures & pass'm out to people, & my favourite was a mountain scene with a cottage & trees & sunset & clouds & all that sort of thing. Then when I got to Florida I got to drawing Tropical scenes! I drew'm in colour on art paper & made'm all in different colours! My drawing hasn't improved much since then, & if you go puttin' pictures like mine in the Magazine, they're going to know I'm a Baby Child Prophet, that's for sure! I know you love me, & the Family will probably like it just because they're crazy enough to like their crazy old Prophet! (2/82)
295. Two of my favourite heroes are Castro & Godahfi—two of the craziest guys in the World, like me! (8/82)
296. I have a special feeling for girls whose teeth stick out. I like them almost every time I meet them!
297. Blue & gold are my favourite colours.
298. My favourite subject was history! It just really fascinates me to see how man has misbehaved all these years & never learned anything by it!—Ha! (11/80)
299. I like a fairytale once in awhile! (1981)
300. (To Techi:) They don't seem to have those fairytale books anymore! I used to just love to read them! The two most famous ones‚ of course‚ are Grimm's—wasn't he German?—And Hans Christian Anderson, & he was Danish. That's where "Thumbelina" came from! Only you've met "Toebelina," & that's one nobody heard of before! Daddy was the one that made King Toebelina on your toe! PTL! (8/81)
301. One reason I was always fascinated by ghost stories & horror stories & things like that is because they were spiritual & supernatural. Too bad the World's fascination with it is on the evil side, when there's a whole lot more on the good side! (1/79)
302. When I was small I liked to believe in fairy tales & fairies & witches & goblins. I still feel a little that way! And when I saw "Peter Pan" I liked to imagine it & believe it! Maybe I'm fond of fantasies, I don't know. Maybe that's why the Lord gives me so many, because He can trust me with them to believe them. I don't exactly try to pick them apart, although some of them I have. That "Otano" revelation I still don't understand! (5/79)
THE BIBLE!—(Dad's Jewels)
303. It's kind of like my Bible Study days are almost past. I had my chance to study the Bible & I know more Bible than you'll probably ever know & I'll have time to teach you! (8/82)
304. When I don't remember where a reference is I just put "Ref.," & then my dear typists‚ GBM, have to look it up! Well‚ when I'm under inspiration & writing I can't stop to look up all these Scriptures. I'd be busy looking up Scriptures all the time unless I happen to know where it is. In the old days I didn't have a concordance, but when I was hunting in my Bible for a Scripture, I usually knew what book it was in. Even if I couldn't remember what chapter, I almost always could remember what part of the page it was on, the position of that verse on the page. I couldn't always remember whether it was on the right-hand page or the left‚ but I'd just thumb through & watch that spot until I came to that verse. (8/82)
305. The Bible is difficult enough to understand as it is, without them screwing it all up & making it even worse!—Just like I told that professor at the University of Arizona. I gave a simple explanation to something but he wanted something very complicated‚ so I said, "I think your education is a mess!" I told him this right in front of the class! Of course he flunked me for it, but it was worth it! (7/82)
306. I was interested in history because it sort of teaches you how men have gotten in such a mess, & also its relationship to Bible History. It turned out to be very profitable in the long run, because if you don't know both Bible History & World History, you can't understand Bible Prophecy—all the countries & empires it's talking about, the prophecies it's predicting‚ etc. So the Lord knew what He was doing! (6/82)
TV & VIDEO!—(Dad's Jewels)
307. (While Dad was watching the Georgian Dance Company on video, Abrahim said:) "This is the way I would like to dance for your father!" (And then again he said:) "Oh how I would like to dance for your father!" (3/80)
308. Have you seen our room? There's a long bookcase at the foot of the bed with the video, television, radio & everything spread out. We call it the Entertainment Center! (6/81)
309. I never watch TV or video until I'm too tired to do anything else but go to bed‚ & I often go to sleep while I'm watching! Sometimes I just can't make it. (9/81)
310. Those American movies get me on edge, & the cops-&-robbers & detective movies are almost worse than anything! They leave a horrible depressing feeling. (5/77)
311. How many of you have had dreams about falling? How many of you ever hit the ground in your dream? Leave it to me to be the first one to hit the ground! I didn't hit it hard though, I was like Superman! I had a soft landing! (11/82)
312. Nobody could ever dream up the stuff I do, they're so unusual! They're like short stories, you know? Some of them are like long movies! It's amazing! I've got the easiest job in the Family, I just go to these movies & then have to describe them to you afterwards! The only difficult part is describing them to you, but it's not very difficult‚ it's easy because I enjoy it! (11/82)
313. Dear Maria always knows how to pull my trigger! She decided that was a good time to tell my dream & redeem the time! The Lord is really clever‚ as I start opening my mouth, He knows He's going to fill it! I doubt if that whole dream lasted maybe one minute, but I got two hours of talk out of it! That's what often happens with these short dreams, the Lord uses them to push me into giving a long lesson on some needed subject. (10/82)
314. Isn't it amazing what the Lord has given? Now I know why the Lord has given me so many pictures & dreams, they can be so easily pictorialised for the children, visualised! It's amazing! I just marvel at the Lord! (Tongues:) "Now I understand why Thou hast given these visions unto their father!" (1/82)
315. The Lord gives me the funniest, most childish‚ simple little dreams! Some of them are pretty wild, but I guess the Lord figures we're such little children, that's about all we can understand! Kind of like books or movies or fairy tales! But it sure is one wild way of making us remember! They are just an absolute goldmine of illustratable material for the artists & they make excellent little radio dramas too! (11/78)
316. I have these dreams so unexpectedly—when I'm not even thinking about it or praying or expecting it or anything, just—boom! So I know it's the Lord. (10/82)
317. I really enjoy reading those dreams! I enjoy gettin' them too, the only hard work about it is describing them, & the Lord helps me with that. Then afterward I read'm & I'm surprised how well I did!—The Lord did, I should say! The Lord helps me describe'm & write'm so you can see the picture! (10/82).
318. Sometimes I think the Lord just gives me these little dreams as a starter‚ just to make me start talking, because I know I've got to tell them & try to interpret them. It's just like He primes the pump with it, & once He gets me going He knows I can't stop. I'll faithfully give the message! (9/81)
319. Sometimes I'm lazy & I tell Maria, "Remind me to tell you in the morning a dream I had last night." And she'll say, "Well, what about? Tell me now!" I'll say, "Well, just write down this key word & that'll help me remember it" & I'll lazily go back to sleep. And there are some dreams the Lord's given me, I'm ashamed to confess, that by the time morning came, although the key word reminded me of the dream, a lot of it had faded away & it wasn't as vivid & as clear. I couldn't remember it all like I had before because I was lazy & I insisted on going to sleep instead of telling Maria right there. She's willing to pop out of her sleep & take it down night or day, bless her heart! She's so faithful! But I'm lazy‚ especially when I'm sleepy like I am right now! (9/82)
320. Don't I have the funniest dreams? I mean, the Lord gives them! I don't cook'm up‚ I could never have dreamed such things, but they turn out to have some meaning, & if they don't do anything else, they make me do something! They spark me! When I have to tell the dream‚ then I get sparked, under inspiration, & I may go all the way around Robinhood's barn before I get back to the subject! But I cover a lot of territory & it makes me write a Letter if nothing else! I know I've got to record the dream or I'm really failing the Lord & disobeying. I figure it must have some meaning, & when I get to recording it, the Lord starts throwing the fuel on the fire!—If I just strike a match! (8/82)
MORE HISTORY!—(Dad's Jewels)
321. Just think, there was a day when I longed to go to Bible College! In fact, I went to quite a few but I never lasted in any of them. Either I got fed up with them or they got fed up with me!—Ha! I just didn't wear well for some reason in denominations, churches & Bible Schools. I just didn't fit, I couldn't. I spent years searching for the right church or denomination to join, I tried'm all‚ but I couldn't find any I liked! So I finally made my own! Ha! TYL! Well, the Lord did. (7/81)
322. If you'd been a teacher in high school as long as I was, you could expect anything to happen—airplanes, spit wads, rubber bands, chewing gum, tacks on your chair! You're the target if they can get away with it!—Ha! But I took it with a sense of humour & had a lot of fun. They finally learned to love me! PTL! I really enjoyed it. It was pretty rough & tough at first, but once I really earned their respect & their love‚ it was pretty good goin'! Of course, that took me nearly the whole first year! Ha! (2/82)
323. I've been carried out of churches‚ nice quiet churches! Well, I usually went out pretty peacefully, still talking, but I didn't resist. I figured I shouldn't resist the duly constituted authorities. I'd say, "Well after all, it's their church, their property, I'm just a guest." Really I was quite mild. Usually when I'd first get up I'd say to the preacher, "Excuse me, Sir, but maybe you don't know about such–&–such a verse that says so-&-so which is contrary to what you just said." I never saw one preacher yet that wasn't absolutely dumbfounded that anybody in the audience dared to speak, in the first place, & dared to contradict him, in the second! (8/82)
324. Grandmother won thousands of souls to the Lord & performed healings & all that, but in a way, she left nothing really lasting behind—except me, that is! I guess the Lord knew it was for me. I often thought about that: "Lord, it's a shame we didn't get her sermons in print. It's a shame she didn't have time to write books & reach much further than her little meetings." Maybe that generation really didn't deserve it, maybe they wouldn't have done anything about it anyhow, a bunch of churchy old bottles. So apparently the Lord reserved that for us! (8/81)
325. I got stung on the end of the finger once by a wasp when I was leading the singing in church, & I never missed a beat, they never knew what happened! I brushed him off like that & went right on, but boy, that thing hurt! Whew! I think that hurt worse than a bee sting! That damn church was full of them, like a habitation of devils! (2/82)
326. I just never was too ceremonial, but I try to have a few little ceremonies in the Family! We've dispensed with water baptism, infant baptism, confirmation, Bar Mitzvah & confession!—And we're really not very ceremonious about marriages either! We've gotten rid of about all of them except Communion, & usually I can't even remember that one! But that's about the only one the Lord seemed to signify we ought to remember, so I've tried to retain that one! But somehow or another, sometimes I can't seem to retain in my memory which day we're supposed to have it! (8/82)
327. Whoever does Communion has to quote the verses. And instead of wasting time stopping to do it for everybody, why not let each one break off a piece of bread themselves? I like to hold mine until I have some wine to wash it down with. I think it's wonderful our children can enjoy Communion. When I was a kid in church it was sure a bore, the same old ritual over & over! There's always variety in our little church, so interesting! They'd probably be horrified at children praying for & serving Communion! (9/81)
328. I don't like to work after dark as a rule, I like to work by good daylight. So when the sun starts fading or just before that, I like to get out. I love to walk at sunset & look at the sunsets. So we take our walk then & eat early before I'm too tired to enjoy it. PTL! (7/81)
329. I love swimming under water! It'd deprive me of half the fun if I couldn't swim underwater. (8/82)
330. Why do you wait to pray, Beloved? Instead of having to wait for someone to pray, you ought to be stumbling all over each other! You ought to all feel like praying at once! I hang back because we as leaders have to try to teach you to take the lead & try to help you to learn to pray out & help to lead. We can always do it for you, but that'll never teach you anything. That's just like parents, it's always easier to do it for the child than it is to teach the child to do it for themselves. I don't know why you so hesitate to pray when I ask somebody to pray! Well, the time to pray is gone, hurry back to your goldmines! (1/82)
331. I've gotten to where I wrap both hands around my food & drinks when I pray over them! I believe that there's something about the actual spiritual aura that God has given you, even your natural aura—especially if you're a sanctified soul & you have the power of God & you generate it—that it's just like radiating your food or something, like laying hands on the spot. I'm for laying hands on the spot that is causing the trouble. So therefore, you actually radiate the power of God! I believe it! (3/82)
332. You should always pray the Lord's Prayer. It says, "Give us this day our daily bread," so I don't particularly feel like praying that at night when the day's over. So don't forget to pray the Lord's Prayer in the morning or at least by noon‚ at least by your devotions, whenever it is. (3/82) (But pray it, night or day!)
333. I'm not in the habit of praying on my knees. That's why Mother Eve was ready to divorce me, because I didn't always kneel down & pray on my knees. How could I ever be a saint or anything? Well, when it came to sainthood I didn't make it. I guess that's why the Lord called me to be a Prophet! (2/82)
334. You know what meal lasts me the longest? It's the one after I've had the longest fast!—It's my break-fast! That's where breakfast got it's name, & it's still spelled breakfast! (11/82)
335. The girls are always worried that I'm not getting enough to eat, so they stuff me! Thank you for not giving me a big huge bowl of pudding last night that I could not have resisted! That little bowl was just right because it left me wanting more, & that's where I should quit! (8/82)
336. Lentils might have been all right for Daniel when he was young, but not for me! (9/82)
337. I like to drink soup out of a cup! I don't know why we have to eat it out of a bowl with a spoon. It's just an old custom I guess, as much as it's a custom for the Chinese to eat with chopsticks! There's only one problem with drinking soup out of a mug‚ & that's how to get the crackers in it without missing it! (8/82)
338. I never could get the idea of having hot food in a warm climate! In a cold climate you have to serve things pretty hot so they'll stay warm, but in a warm climate you don't have to serve it hot because it will stay warm anyhow! I don't like it very hot when it's hot! It makes you hot! At least it makes me hot! (8/82)
339. When I get through making my hamburger with all the additions, it's a work of art! (1/82)
340. I want to give Techi one little piece of honey bread! Daddy's on your side! I'm sneaking you some honey! Mmmmmmm! (Sings:) "And you eat all the words of his honey bread, & you laugh & dance & sing!" You like the food of your King David, don't you? (1/82)
341. Lord forgive me, I have to eat again! Eating is one chore I'll be glad I'll be over with some day! (1/82)
342. I can eat mayonnaise on almost any kind of vegetable! That's the way my Mother persuaded me to eat vegetables! (1/82)
343. I'm still an old Southerner, I call lunch dinner & dinner supper! We never had dinner, there was no such thing as dinner! That was something rich people ate at 8 o'clock—dinner at eight! (2/82)
344. Half the pleasure of drinking wine is drinking it out of a pretty glass!
345. I'm especially fond of water chestnuts. (3/82)
346. Don't ever feed me anything green‚ like green bananas, little green apples or green peppers, they're pure poison to me! I never could eat any of those things. Green peppers don't like me & I don't like them! (9/82)—Or green cucumbers!
347. You always have to announce to me when you bring my food, otherwise I don't even notice it! Sometimes they bring in my soup or something & I'll let it sit there for half-an-hour & don't even know it's there because I get concentratin' on things! Maria can talk to me sometimes & I don't even know what's she's said! (9/82)
348. It bothers me when people watch me when I'm eating. (9/82)
349. Show'm how Grandpa taught you to lick a spoon upside-down. That way you get all the goody out of it. See, you get your tongue in the bowl of the spoon & your mouth around the top & it gets it all off! We even got the peanut butter off the spoon the other day, didn't we? (9/82)
350. (Dad brought ice cream home for everyone:) Well, I couldn't see us sitting there & enjoying that ice cream without sharing with the rest of you! I don't think I've enjoyed ice cream since I left Florida. I don't think you can really enjoy ice cream in a cold country—not as much as you enjoy it in a hot country. Of course, Maria can enjoy it in any country! Ha! I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream! But we just scream quietly here so the noise doesn't bother the neighbours! (4/82)
351. I ate that rice with shrimp the first night we were here because we didn't have anything else, but I just couldn't stand the smell of it! My father used to say‚ "Eat what's set before you, giving thanks, asking no questions for conscience sake. For every creature of God is good & nothing to be refused if it be received with the word of thanksgiving & prayer." (1Cor.10:27; 1Tim.4:4) (Maria: We even ate octopus in Cyprus.) Oh! We had to! The host would've been absolutely insulted if we had refused his octopus! Oh boy, that was about the worst thing I ever did have to eat! But the funny part about it was when he first started giving it to us in these nice little tidbits all sauced up & everything, we didn't even know what it was & it was good!—Then when he told us, my stomach almost flipped! (4/82)
352. (To the children:) Grandpa eats a little bacon in the morning but it's really really really really brined & cured & cooked & there's no germ in the World that could live through all that! (4/82)
353. Let me warn you, even in that nice restaurant last night I picked up my plate & smelled the meat before I ate it. I just picked up the whole plate & went like this: (Sniffs real big with the plate right under his nose!) They may be insulted but I don't care! I'd rather they be insulted than me poisoned! (5/82)
354. I never put lime, lemon or anything sour in my food.—I'm sour enough!
355. I've always loved Chinese food for its crunchy texture.
356. I like creamy juicy meat—not dry & stringy!
357. (Prays:) Thank You for all the love! This is a loving too, Lord. Every time the cook cooks my breakfast she's loving me‚ making love to me. (6/81)
358. I used to trim the mildew off our bread when I was a little boy. My job was not only slicing the bread but trimming off the mildew, because we couldn't afford to waste bread no matter if it was mildewed, we ate it anyhow! Of course we didn't know then that it was good for us & that it contained penicillin & antibiotics which helps you resist some diseases. So we were eating it anyway & now I know it was good. But I didn't always like the taste of it, it tasted a little bit odd. (3/82)
359. (To Techi: ) When I was a little boy just your age, just your size, I didn't like eggs. So my aunt, my father's sister, said to me one morning, "I'll show you how to fix'm so you'll like'm!" And she fixed me an egg, soft fried straight up on hot buttered toast. That was the secret, the toast, just like Grandpa fixed for you!—And I loved it & I've been eatin'm like this ever since! (5/82)
360. I'm really doing my duty eating these peas, Honey‚ but personally I've never found a pea in Europe that I liked! Little young tender peas are almost my favourite vegetable‚ but those great big old tough ones I can't eat! I could eat carrots every day if you cook them enough! I could eat those real nice tender little string beans all the time. Anything that's tough gets caught in my throat. I also like cauliflower, Brussels sprouts, broccoli & string beans. (2/82)
361. When I see cornbread buttered like that, you know what I think about? You want to know what I was dreaming of with this cornbread & butter? Do you know what goes good on cornbread & butter? Well, honey for one thing, but I prefer my favourite spread. You know what it is, don't you, Maria? (Maria: Strawberry!) Right! Have we got any strawberry jam or is that some kind of sinful wickedness that we don't indulge in? (Maria: No, we keep it just for you!) Now how many times do I ever eat it? Once a month maybe. That cornbread sitting there all by itself looks lonesome with nothing on it! (8/82)
362. (To Techi: ) I bet she wants something that Grandpa has! Nothing's so good as what Grandpa eats, it even tastes better off of Grandpa's plate! (Techi: That looks gooder than anything else!) Yes, that is gooder. I'll promise you it is gooder than anything else or they wouldn't have given it to Grandpa! Actually I like to eat the same thing everybody else eats if I can! (8/82)
363. I'm pretty slow anyhow‚ & now I have to eat extra slow, especially because I talk so much! It's not that I eat so much, as I think everybody here knows, this is the only solid meal I have all day. I only drink a cup of coffee in the morning—of course it's a rather large cup & it has a few extras in it like eggs & peanut butter, milk & things like that! (8/82)
364. Coffee really helps to wake you up because it stimulates your heart. One rounded teaspoon of freeze–dried coffee in the morning is just about right for me. But if I drink a couple like that, then I can feel my heart begin to pound & I can feel there's a strain. (8/82)
365. I never could stand carbonated drinks, they always made me absolutely physically sick! I could hardly take one swallow & it turned my stomach ever since I was a little kid! Other kids just guzzled'm down & my brother & my sister could just drink'm like mad, but I couldn't stand one swallow! I think maybe the Lord was protecting me. Even champagne makes me sick! (8/82)
366. I hardly ever drank coffee when I was young either, not till I was about 40 years of age! The Lord protected me from all those things when I was young—colas, carbonated water, coffee, liquor & everything! I never hardly touched an alcoholic beverage until I was about the same age. Well, we'd had wine a few times but I never liked it. I just couldn't stand it, to me it tasted like some rot! Ha! It'd just turn me sick just to sip it or smell it. I had the feeling that it was rotten or spoiled. the Lord must've done that to keep me from drinking it then! Too bad He didn't do that later! Ha! Well, I guess He figured I was old enough & tough enough to take it by this time! (8/82)
367. Creamed chicken I like on potatoes, & creamed tuna I like on toast. (7/82)
368. String beans or creamed corn were my favourite vegetables out of cans, & Maria got pretty good at making hamburger steaks with mashed potatoes! We just put a little butter on them or a little juice & dumped out a can of string beans or corn. One can was just about enough for the two of us, & two hamburgers & two servings of mashed potatoes, & that was our dinner just about every night. (8/82)
369. When it comes to eating out I'm a downright chintzer!—I believe in eating decent clean food‚ but not in paying too much to get it!
370. If we don't have hamburger buns available, it just doesn't quite inspire me to make a hamburger! (10/81)
371. I've never been able to eat between meals, it always gives me a stomach ache. I've had a weak stomach all my life. (1981)—But not in the Tropix!
372. I like food too hot to eat when it's served to me, so by the time I eat it, it's just right! (1981) (In the cold North only!)
373. I like spaghetti sauce & juicy juicy juicy foods! I like my cauliflower still quite hard, & fish sticks should be soft, not like chalk sticks! (1981)
374. I never could see what people saw in turkey, except it was so big! But this chicken is delicious, it just melts in your mouth!—I mean‚ it melts in my mouth! It's consecrated, dedicated‚ sanctified & has entered into the ministry!—Ha! (11/79)
375. I don't think I ever saw a skinny good cook!—Because you've got to like to eat to be a good cook!
376. I can go 7 or 8 hours between meals, & then I can go 18 hours overnight without eating a bite! (3/78)
377. I don't like to serve other people their portions when it comes to food, because you've got to ask them what they want & I figure they can always serve themselves better!—But I don't mind serving them spiritual food, because then you know what the Lord wants them to have, you don't have to ask them. (3/78)
378. That's the way Daddy does, he takes one bite of this & one bite of that & one bite of that & then one sip of drink. I've always done that all my life since I was a little boy like David. Everything had to be organised & be done in decency & in order! They had to put it in just the right place on my plate or I didn't like it. They had to put it in the right order: Meat‚ potatoes, vegetables. So I took a bite of meat first‚ then a bite of potato & a bite of vegetable. I was a very organised little boy! (1/82)
379. I like the dark meat of chicken, it's sweeter & juicier!
380. Excuse me if I lick my fingers, folks, but that's the best way to get them clean! I'm glad my Mommy's not here, she'd be spanking my hand!
381. I don't really care for fish that's got a lot of bones in it. I got a fish bone stuck in my throat when I was a kid & it absolutely scared me to death & I never wanted another bite of fish after that. It took years for my Mother to get me to eat any fish & I'm still leery about eating fish with bones. (6/78)
382. I never liked raisins or dates or figs or prunes. My Mother crammed them down my throat! The main thing was I didn't like anything sweet—except pretty girls, of course! (6/78)
383. I'm a very slow eater, it's a big joke in the Family!—But I'm thorough, anyhow! (1/78)
384. (Listening to Dad's "Songs of Heaven" tape during dinner:) Why did you have it turned down so low? Maybe you didn't want to hear it! You know, we musicians are sensitive enough about whether we're being appreciated or not! This guy gabs too much! Can the chatter & sing! He's gotta always be preachin'! That's one of the complaints preachers used to have about my song leading, that I talked too much between the songs! Well, I figured if I couldn't try to impress on them the meaning of the song, what was the use of singing it? (1/82)
385. Those guys at MWM are geniuses the way they fitted music to what I was singing! You'd think they were right there! It's amazing how they can add a soundtrack to that‚ they even follow me when I wander around! A few places they got a little bit off-key, but I missed it a little bit too! It just wouldn't have showed up if they weren't playing behind me! I'm not the one out of step, they're the ones out of step! Like the old lady watching her boy march off to WW1 in the parade: "Look, everybody's out of step but my Johnny!" Actually Johnny was out of step with the rest of them! Ha! (1/82)
386. That song "Cry of Revolution" is inspired! It just gives me the chills‚ thrilling! Hallelujah! That was one of my favourites, one of the old-timers! (1/82)
387. (Listening to Mantovani's "Sunrise, Sunset" Dad says:) I like to be engulfed in music like that! (4/81)
388. For background music I like something that doesn't draw my attention. (1/78)
389. Musicians are the most temperamental people in the World—90% temper & 10% mental! I know, because I was a musician! That was my business! Maybe that's what's wrong with me, I'm a musician! I earned my living with music for 12 years—I played saxophone, mandolin & the piano for a few years before that!
AROUND THE HOUSE!—(Dad's Jewels)
390. I'd lots rather have a short glass with a broad base, I don't like these tall glasses, they're too easy to knock over! (4/82)
391. I'll bet Grandpa washes his face 40/11 times a day! Do you know how many times that is? Well‚ at least 11, without the 40. Every time I go to the toilet & even every time I go into the bathroom I wash my face again! (4/82)
392. I like wood, God's beautiful natural creation, better than metal. I don't like steel or iron. Steel & iron have done more damage in the World than almost anything else outside of sin itself!—Killed more people in wars & accidents, cars & all the rest. God wouldn't allow nails & metal instruments, etc., to be used on the Temple, it was forbidden. Maybe He was thinking about how the Lord was going to be nailed to the cross, & the Temple was a type of Christ. (6/79)
393. I just sit there & let my cigar burn & fragrance the atmosphere. I had tried everything in the bathroom! I had tried room freshener sprays—they didn't do it. I used to sit there in Emanuele's old bathroom & burn incense & I tried every flavour & they were all sickening & I just couldn't find anything that could beat a cigar! (6/81)
394. I'm like my Mother, she always preferred linen tablecloths. I don't like these plastic tablecloths that hang way down & are so hot on your legs. I'm sorry to complain about it but it really makes my legs & knees hot, & besides, I don't like the sticky feeling of it! I can't even stand to put my elbows on it. I always liked clothe tablecloths & clothe napkins. I'm too particular‚ but I guess kings have a reputation for that! (4/82)
395. I must admit I like cloth napkins, but we don't have to wash them everyday. When I was a little boy we kept them at the table for a week. (2/82)—In named napkin rings!
396. That's one reason I enjoy living in old houses, because usually they're better-built than the new modern ones. (2/82)
397. In Tenerife I didn't know quite how to tell Dave to prune & clean out the garden, so I said, "Well, just pull up anything that's ugly & leave everything that looks pretty!" It's sort of like photography! (1981)
398. I like to use "Aqua Velva" aftershave! It's cheap, it has an oil base & is nice on your face. You should shave downwards, never up, except right under your chin. Use only bar soap & wet it with wet fingers. You can make one razor blade last one to two months this way! (1981)
399. Try not to make any major changes to the house without me knowing! That's a standard rule: Anything to do with cars & equipment, ask me! I'm the mechanic here! (1981)
400. I sleep lots better on cotton sheets—I really don't think the synthetics are good for you! (1/78)
401. I think bidets are great! It must be a real shock to the Europeans when they go to the States & find no bidets! (1/78)
402. I have a phobia about looking at a dirty table. I'm always brushing off the crumbs. (3/82)
DEATH & HEAVEN!—(Dad's Jewels)
403. Just thinking or singing about Heaven always makes me cry!
404. I want to have a Bible on my breast in my coffin. I directed my own Mother's & Father's funerals—the biggest Hallelujah Session anyone had ever seen!
405. I'll have to teach you a few of those old hymns, because what in the World are you going to do when you get to Heaven with all those church people & you don't even know some of those old hymns? They're going to say, "Oh, that's one of those Hippie heathen that guy Dave dragged in here!" (2/82)
406. I've got so many questions I want to ask when I get to Heaven! No use writing them out on paper though, because the paper's going to burn up with the rest of the World! But anyway, I'm storing them up in my head or somewhere, questions that the Lord didn't answer here & we don't need to know here, but I think He's going to satisfy our curiosity! (4/82)
407. I always had a fascination for tombstones because they're a real witness to generations even for hundreds of years afterward! We're not going to have that long now‚ but I'd like the inscription on my tombstone to be a testimony to all, something like "Home at last!" Heaven's my real home, you know, I've always had to leave my Earthly homes. I never really had a place of my own to call home. On my mother's tombstone I put: "She's not here, she's risen!" (4/78)
408. I was raised on the breast & I hope I'll be buried on one! Ha! I don't mean that I want you to be buried with me. PTL! Don't be surprised if I ask for a swig just before I die—I have to have something to keep me going through the tunnel! (2/82)
409. Well, PTL! They're building a mansion for us over There that will never devaluate, so why should we worry? (Sings: ) "Won't that be glory when we get There, & we'll see it by & by!"—And I'll get to take my little Angel with me! TYL! You may have to follow shortly after, but then we'll have lots of time to make love & have fun! (6/79)
410. I want to be buried naked, the way I came into this World. That's how I want to go out. Why should you waste all those nice clothes? I want to go out the way I came in! It would be a good illustration that you can't take anything with you! (8/77)
411. Yes, my own tapes make me cry. They'll make a lot of other people cry too. Thinking of death makes people weep. I don't know what it is about it, but those songs about Heaven make me cry when I think about having to be parted from you, even if it's only going to be for a little while.
MORE LITTLE JEWELS!—(Dad's Jewels)
412. Is everybody happy? Healthy? Wealthy? Wise? Well, you should be! It says, "If any man lack wisdom, let him ask of the Lord, who giveth to all men liberally & upbraideth not!" (Jam.1:5) So you've got no excuse for not having wisdom, just ask the Lord for it! That's how I got it! (1/82)
413. A beard turns some women on‚ some women it turns them off! I've found out the Women's Libbers hate'm because it's the one thing women can't do! My Dad used to say, "Men lost their authority over the women when they shaved off their beards!" I think it was really sort of a trick of the Devil for it to get popular to shave. You know who made it popular?—The Egyptians! I'm not blaming those who for the sake of our security are clean-shaven‚ & we'd better stay that way because we can't all look like a bunch of revolutionaries! (1/82)
414. My family was very loudmouthed! You all are so quiet I don't know how to get used to it! That's why all my children developed such strong voices, in order to be heard, all trying to talk at once! That's where we got the custom of saying, "Now wait a minute, one at a time, now you tell your story"—& we'd go around the table. (4/78)
415. The Lord made all the most necessary things in life very pleasant, didn't He?—The things you really have to do to exist, like eating, sleeping & loving! (4/78)
416. I like moist soft chocolate cake & creamy butter frosting—not that sweet icky candy frosting.
417. I believe in celebrating birthdays, although we don't have to make a big fuss about it. It's one time I get to have cake & ice cream & Maria really does love cake & ice cream!—Although she doesn't like to have her birthday celebrated! (1/82).
418. Seven is the golden age! David & I are in the same category, he's seven years old & I am nine sevens years old! My age this birthday is full of God's numbers—nine seven's & 21 three's! How about that? The magic numbers! It must be something important. And I'm only 7 years from the golden goal of 70! 70 years is most people's limit, & I haven't lived the limit yet. It even seems like the Lord said that‚ once upon a time‚ & I'm looking forward to lasting a little longer for your sakes. Otherwise I might as well go Home whenever you don't need me any longer. (2/82)
419. Well, I had a very happy birthday! I spent my whole birthday giving presents to other people‚ & nothing could have delighted me more. I don't need any presents, Honey, because Daddy's got everything he needs! (2/82)
420. Sorry girls, I would like to accept all of your birthday presents but I can't go to bed with all of you! (2/82)
421. Would you like to know what I was doing when I was seven years old? That's a birthday I can remember because I'd just started school in Miami, Florida & they gave us smallpox vaccinations. I came home from school sick as a dog‚ & I went out like a dog on the porch & curled up in an old wooden box & went to sleep! (2/82)
422. I like to celebrate birthdays, I think it's nice! It helps you to remember when you were born & how old you are. (9/78)
LASHES OF LOVE!—(Dad's Jewels)
423. Poor Peter, he has to sit in there while I scream & holler at him. (Peter: Oh, I love it!) I can't get ahold of the other guys that are really guilty, so I scream & holler at him to pass the scolding onto them, see? (8/81)
424. I love a confrontation! I love to bring things out in the open & hit things right on. You know me, Honey, I'm a fighter! I guess I must be, huh? I really love to fight because I know I'm on the right side, I know God's on my side & I've got nothing to lose! (2/78)
425. I don't think anybody here has ever really heard me scream yet, all you've heard me do is a little bit of loud talking. I haven't even yelled yet. Did you see that movie called the "The Shout That Was Heard Around the World," where the hills began to tumble & the buildings shook like an earthquake & the house blew over? Well, that's probably what'll happen if I ever really scream! You've just heard me raise my voice. (Maria: I remember in Laurentide when you got up on the table.) I thought that was in the Club at Huntington Beach. Ha! I'll tell you‚ I used to get up there & yell at'm & they loved it! I was a real revolutionary! (Maria: You still are!) I still am, PTL! I still shout sometimes! (8/82)
426. You've gotta blow your top sometimes—then you can see how much sweetness comes out of others!—Ha!
427. I can't help but hit people between the eyes! I don't beat around the bush when I tell them off‚ as you probably already found out! (11/75)
428. The upper-class English speak their language beautifully! Well, I don't! I'm just one of those poor corrupt Americans. But at least the Americans understand me, I speak their language‚ & here I've corrupted a whole Family of which 75% are non-Americans‚ but they all talk like Americans! Even the foreigners are all talking like us! You poor foreigners! Well, you're not foreign to us! You can be thankful I'm the guy, because I taught English & I usually do use good English. I speak slowly, enunciate clearly, speak good English & I don't use too many Americanisms. I use some poor English & Americanisms with the Family just for the sake of emphasis, because it's an emphatic way of American-speaking, including cussing & contractions & all the rest. But I do know good English & good grammar. (6/81)
429. Next to Chinese I think Swedish is the most sing–songey language! (3/78)
430. French is a beautiful language! I love to hear it, it's so musical! But it's a little difficult to learn that you only have to pronounce half of the word & forget the other half! (3/78)
431. I have a whole system of abbreviations which I learned mostly from reading the ads! Those American ads, sometimes you can't even figure out what they mean. Then I learned the standard system of abbreviations that they teach you when I took stenotyping. I took a whole course in stenotyping‚ learned it under the guy who invented it, a brilliant old guy about 65 or 70. I was only about 16 & I took a summer course between school years. It was one of the most valuable courses I ever took—spelling, punctuation, grammar & rapid calculation in your head. This was before the days of calculators other than adding machines.
432. I can't stand ungrateful people or ingratitude!
433. Extravagance offends me!
434. I hate sequined showgirl costumes! They look like they're wearing armour!
435. I never could stand a saucer under my teacup. I don't like hard things‚ only nice soft things.
436. One of the worst things I can possibly imagine is being trapped underground down in a mine in the dark! (8/82)
437. I've always told my Family, "Don't ever leave me without kissing me goodbye or goodnight! 'Kiss the Son lest he be angry with thee & thou perish from the way!'" (2/82)
438. It used to make me mad at TSC when they'd bring me something special to eat! I'd ask, "Is that what the camp is eating?" "Well, no." I said, "You bring me what they're eating!" I didn't like it! (8/80)
439. I don't believe in just letting appointments slide by. (7/82)
440. I don't like metal & glass furniture! It's dangerous, for one thing, & it does break & can cut people! And of course metal is slaughtering more people in the World right now than anything else—automobiles, etc.—as well as all the instruments of war made of metal. (6/79)
441. (Prophecy while watching video of Family in India:) "These are the fruits of their Father David. This is the glory of the reward of your father, that he may enjoy the sight of his children. This is the reward of thy father, this is the joy of their father, this is the fruit of the Words of thy father. These are they which I have called unto the Family of your father that they may shine in My glory for Me!" (1/82)
442. "The shepherds are searchers & many are those who have been found by your Father!" Hallelujah! TYJ! (7/81)
443. (Prophecy during song by Jerry Crusader "The Elixir of Love" in Spanish:) "These are the proofs of the Spirit of Love I have given to the children of their father!"
—Amen! PTL! GBY! ILY!