KEYWORDS: wallet, pocket, river, pockets, boat, dream

Watch Your Wallet

David Berg

DFO 1216 18/2/82

1. THIS IS A DREAM I HAD ON MY BIRTHDAY MORNING CALLED "WATCH YOUR WALLET". Watch your wallet, boys! GBY! This is February the 18th‚ 1982 & I am 63, that is 21 threes & 9 sevens! Must be a magic number, PTL! Hallelujah! TYL! And only seven short of the seventy-year goal! That is if I should live so long‚ PTL! God's Will be done. TYJ for the past 63! Hallelujah! They've been a wonderful 63 years! TYJ! PYL!

2. WELL, I'M MAKING THIS RECORDING THIS MORNING BECAUSE OF THE FUNNY DREAM I HAD LAST NIGHT & it seems almost nonsensical & crazy & all mixed up & doesn't make sense but it was so clear & vivid & still very clear in my memory & I thought I had better tell it 'cuz you never know, sometimes they do mean something. TTL!

3. WELL, FIRST OF ALL, I WAS ON THIS KIND OF ANIMAL FARM on a sort of a hilltop campground, it seemed, & it had all kinds of little funny animals running around, a little baby hippopotamus, I remember particularly, looked so funny & so cute, not much bigger than a dog or a pig‚ & several other miniature animals, young animals as though they were for kids, like one of those farm-animal zoos. Only these were all kinds of different animals, & I was thinking how much the kids would enjoy this place if they were here, which they apparently were not for some reason.

4. I SEEMED TO BE ALONE, I don't know why except there were other people there & there was a kind of farmery old duffer who seemed to run the place & he apparently had something to do with the construction business from what happened later, & this hilltop overlooked a beautiful valley, sort of a rugged valley, & right in front of the camp ran a small river; in fact the camp entrance was by a bridge over this river into the camp.

5. AND I WAS SORT OF CLIMBING AROUND THE CAMP, it was sort of rugged looking out over the beautiful valley, & I remember I was checking my wallet‚ I had an unusually large wallet for some reason. Very big, fat & thick like one I used to carry with all my papers in it & money & everything & I was thinking while I was climbing around it was sticking a little out of my pocket & I was afraid it was going to fall out, so I was checking my papers & I checked the wallet to see how much money I had in it & stuck it back in my pocket.

6. I THOUGHT, I MUST BE CAREFUL TO KINDA KEEP IT IN THERE because climbing around, your pants pockets can get in all kinds of positions. You gotta watch that especially, fellas, when you're in the toilet & goin' BM & you pull your pants down, if you don't pull them clear below your knees, even below your knees sometimes your wallet & stuff will fall out of your pocket on the restroom floor & we've lost a few things that way, at least some of our folks have sometimes. Dear Peter lost all his keys once but thank God they were turned in at a campground restroom.

7. I HAVE OFTEN LOOKED DOWN WHILE HAVING A BM IN A RESTAURANT OR A PUBLIC RESTROOM & noticed that,—having just pulled my pants down far enough to sit down & yet hanging them over my knees just turns your side pockets upside down & things will often fall out! I've often noticed my wallet lying on the floor so I've learned to always check the bathroom or restroom floor after I get up & pull up my pants to make sure my wallet or nothing out of my pockets has fallen on the floor, because in that position when you pull your pants down, your slash pockets or your side pockets turn upside down.

8. NOW JEAN-TYPE POCKETS, POCKETS IN THE FRONT ARE ACTUALLY SAFER & close up when you sit down, but the usual side pockets of most slacks are right on the side & when you sit down, even at your chair or anywhere, these pockets turn almost upside down & can lose their contents if you're not careful. So watch out for that‚ boys. That's something you girls don't have to worry about, you only have one pocket to worry about‚ you gotta watch out what you get in that pocket, not what falls out, & it's safely tucked between your legs where it's not apt to get in trouble unless you allow it. Well‚ PTL‚ TYJ, amen.

9. ANYHOW, I WAS SORT OF CLIMBING AROUND LIKE I USED TO WHEN I WAS A YOUNG FELLOW; in fact, it seemed like I was young again, about in my early twenties, & the fellow was explaining how that he was constructing this dam nearby & he was telling about how he had explored the surrounding jungles, it seemed to be a jungley place, & he had found some kind of minerals back in the jungle & something important & he would be happy to show us back there & show us his mining site, & he had this huge fleet of trucks that kept roaring by‚ these gigantic mining trucks loaded with some kind of ore & when they roared by it was just deafening. But he had his business so he had to have his trucks. They roared by once in awhile, not all the time, thank the Lord.

10. ANYHOW, THIS LITTLE RIVER THAT RAN BY THE FRONT OF THE CAMP was a bit rugged & rocky & really rather small & shallow so I was quite surprised when I saw this boat come floating down the river under the bridge from my right on downhill to my left, this old rusty boat. It was an old, very very rusty old boat which apparently had a steel hull, but it had completely rusted‚ the whole thing, in fact it looked like the motor, outboard motor on the rear had just rusted into one big mass of rust so that it had just become like part of the boat. And I was amazed that it would even float down this shallow little river but it came floating slowly down the river & under the bridge & around the bend in front of me, then down the river, down the river to my left.

11. I THOUGHT‚ "THAT CERTAINLY IS STRANGE, WHERE'D THAT OLD RUSTY BOAT COME FROM?" It was just a small motorboat, not more than about 15 feet long or so & it was certainly just a piece of junk, that's for sure, & I was surprised it would even float. But it went on down the valley to the left & I thought, "That's interesting, I wonder what's down there?"

12. SO I BEGAN TO WALK DOWN THE RIVER TO WATCH THE BOAT & SEE WHERE IT WAS GOING, like I used to throw leaves on a stream when I was a little boy & watch them float down & imagine they were sailboats or I'd throw a little piece of wood on the water & watch it & I'd follow it downstream. So I was following this old rusty boat down the stream & it came to this house that was beside the river, across the river on the other side, & it had like a double garage below & a sort of a house or apartment above‚ & in the garage, of all things, on a platform about a meter off the floor was sleeping this Gypsy family & the boat was floating right towards'm!

13. THE LITTLE RIVER FLOWED RIGHT PAST THE GARAGE IN WHICH THEY WERE SLEEPING & the boat & my coming seemed to rouse them, in fact I was yelling at them, I was afraid the boat was going to bump into their house because the little river went right past their door & their platform they were sleeping on, the whole family, a whole bunch of Gypsies all covered up together, & sure enough the boat did stick. It got stuck right in front of their house crossways to the river & as a result‚ it acted just like a dam & the river began to rise a bit & flow around it until it was threatening their platform they were on & I was yelling at them that they better watch out, it was gonna flood their house if it stayed that way.

14. BUT THEY KINDA ROUSED UP & LOOKED AT ME A LITTLE SLEEPY & SAID, "NAH, NAH, IT'S NOT GONNA BOTHER US," like you know, they'd had lots of boats get stuck out front & they weren't afraid of the water or the flood because their platform was about a meter off the ground & sure enough‚ from the rise of the water & its weight it finally dislodged the boat & it then shot on down the stream in quite a flood of water that had backed up behind it.

15. SO I GOT INTERESTED IN WALKIN' ON DOWN EXPLORING THE VALLEY because apparently I had come to the dam site where the dam was under construction & it was very rough, big excavations & high mounds & the big dam towering above, & I was determined to climb over all this & get to the top of the dam & see what was on the other side‚ see the view. Apparently the valley I was in was the one they were planning to flood anyway‚ & it was very rugged & rough & it had all these holes & excavations where they'd been digging to build the dam, & I got clear up to the top of the dam & I was looking around.

16. BY THIS TIME IT WAS BEGINNING TO GET DARK & I WAS A LITTLE CONCERNED about getting caught out in an unfamiliar place like this after dark, a little hard to find your way around out in rugged places like that, so I decided I'd head for what looked like some civilisation on the other side‚ sort of a little village, & lo & behold‚ I came across another one of these Gypsy houses with a platform full of Gypsies all sleeping under the same big quilt or blanket. I thought, "That's odd, but that's nice, they all sleep together & all sleep on one platform‚" sort of like those platforms that the Seminole Indians sleep on in their huts down in the Florida Everglades, two or three feet off the ground where the snakes & rats & whatnot can't bother them so much:

17. JUST A THATCHED PALM ROOF OVER THEIR HEADS SUPPORTED BY FOUR POSTS & this is their house, that's all they need down there in that warm climate, just shelter from the rain & the sun. They don't need any protection usually from the wind, there's always a nice breeze but they like that, it keeps them cool. Until there's a hurricane of course, then that usually blows these little thatched huts away, at least their roofs. But of course, they're very easy to construct again & they just make it out of the materials that are handy. Perhaps many of you have seen little thatched huts in the warm tropical climates of other parts of the world.

18. WELL, HERE WERE THESE GYPSIES SLEEPING ON ANOTHER PLATFORM & I couldn't quite figure out why but I thought it was interesting that they slept that way all together‚ sort of sharing. And this bunch didn't seem to be disturbed by my passing at all so I went on by into this kind of a factory-looking place where there were a lot of guys working.

19. I WAS JUST PASSING THROUGH & I WAS LOOKING FOR SOMEBODY TO TELL ME HOW TO GET INTO THE TOWN as there seemed to be a big city nearby & I wanted to catch a bus to go downtown for some reason, apparently to go home. The big city didn't impress me, being similar to Los Angeles, & so I was passing through the factory & I came to the door leading out & I asked this young fellow, looked like a young Mexican boy, I said "Which way to town" & he pointed, "Over there, that way." I said "Well, what bus, where can I catch a bus downtown?" He said, "Well, you see that restaurant right over there‚ that cafe," & it seemed to be almost next door to the factory & right on the street.

20. HE SAID, "YOU GO IN THERE & ASK FOR MILLY & MILLY WILL TELL YA', SHE'S ONE OF THE WAITRESSES." So I said, "OK!" & I went on out the door & started down the street towards the cafe' which was on the right & I saw in the distance a lot of fireworks, it looked like a big fairground‚ almost like a World's Fair several blocks away. But you could see the fireworks & you could see the lights & by this time it was dark so you could see all the lights & the ferris wheel & the merry-go-round & all the various rides & the sights & sounds of the usual fairground carnival etc., & I thought, "That's interesting, a great big sort of a World's Fairground amusement park right here!" I was thinking to myself, "Well‚ I might even drop over there & take a look as soon as I find out how & where to catch the bus."

21. SO I WALKED INTO THE CAFE & I ASKED THIS PRETTY BLONDE LADY WHO LOOKED LIKE THE BOSS. I said, "Where's Milly?" & she said, "Well, what do you want to see Milly for?" I said, "She's supposed to know where I can catch a bus downtown." She said, "Well, you don't have to ask Milly that, I can tell ya' that." And about that time Milly comes across the floor & she's walking around working on tables & she was kind of a brunette girl & I could tell that she was a little embarrassed because I'd asked for her & the blonde boss lady didn't seem to like my asking for Milly because she was busy.

22. BUT MILLY STOPPED & SHE LOOKED AT ME & SHE SMILED & THE BOSS KEPT ON TALKING, she said, "Well, right out there on that main street down at the end of this street you come to that big boulevard & that's where you can catch the bus downtown." So I said, "OK, thanks!" & then I looked at Milly & smiled & she smiled like, you know, she understood, this typical boss lady wanted to be officious & be information centre & not necessarily disturb the help while they're working. So I walked on out & walked on down the street thinking about catching the bus & I decided I'd better pat my pocket like I often do & make sure my wallet's still there‚ & Oh!, my heart sank!

23. TO MY DISMAY MY WALLET WAS GONE! And I quickly patted another pocket & thank God my change purse was still there. I thought, "Well, at least I've got enough change & enough bus fare to get home," but my heart really sank when I discovered the loss, I thought, "Oh my goodness! All my papers! Driver's license, most of my money & my wallet! It fell out of my pocket somewhere when I was climbing around, I wasn't careful enough! And my wallet is gone!" And that hit me so hard that I woke up right then!

24. SO PTL, I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT CRAZY DREAM WAS ALL ABOUT BUT ANYHOW IT CERTAINLY COULD BE A WARNING TO SOME OF YOU GUYS TO WATCH YOUR WALLETS, especially in some of these countries where they have expert pickpockets in crowds. Watch out when you sit down on the toilet too that your pockets don't turn upside down & dump your wallet on the toilet floor or anywhere that you sit down for that matter, but especially watch cinema seats where you're apt to slouch down & kind of prop your knees up on the seat in front of you. This again turns your pockets upside down, your side pockets, & you can easily lose things out of those side pockets.

25. SO I CAN'T SEE ANY SENSE TO THIS CRAZY DREAM EXCEPT THAT IT SURE WAS A WARNING ABOUT CLIMBING AROUND & BEING CARELESS ABOUT MY WALLET in my side pocket‚ it's not a very good place to carry it because things in your side pockets can too easily fall out. And it was a pretty big thick wallet, long too. And I should have been carrying it in some other pocket but it was so big that that seemed to be the only pocket that it fit. Anyhow, in my ramblings around & climbing around over the hill & around the river & the construction site & up the dam & all around following that boat down the river I had lost my wallet, & I was sure thankful I had kept a little change in another pocket‚ I had enough bus fare to get home. But I don't know if I ever caught that bus or not because I was so stunned & shocked by the loss of my wallet that it woke me up & I was sure glad to find out I was safely in bed & had not lost my wallet!

26. LET ME TELL YOU, I'M SURE GONNA BE MORE CAREFUL NEXT TIME & MAKE MIGHTY SURE MY WALLET IS SAFE & SOUND & STILL IN MY POCKET, keeping my hand on it in a crowd, even climbing around keeping it some way that it's not gonna fall out! So watch your wallets! They can easily fall out of those pants pockets. It's safer to keep your main bills or travelers cheques in that back pocket that has the button on it, really button it in tight so it can't fall out & that pocket seldom ever turns upside down, although I have known it to do so in a toilet where you let your pants down & almost everything turns upside down.

27. SO WATCH YOUR WALLETS! I guess that's the name of this dream. I don't know what else to call it. It seemed like a stupid ridiculous dream to have on my birthday! Of all times you'd think then I would have a significant important dream of some kind‚ but maybe that'll be important to somebody to prevent you from losing your wallet carelessly by your pockets turning upside down, either while sittin' on the toilet or climbing around, so that you lose your wallet.

28. IT COULD BE QUITE A LOSS IN SOME FAR CORNER OF THE WORLD where it's hard to get money or your papers or your driver's license or your passport or whatever. In fact, normally you shouldn't even carry your passport around with you when you're in a foreign country. You ought to leave that at home. Passports have high priority on pickpockets' lists because they can be sold for quite a price.

29. SO DON'T CARRY YOUR PASSPORT WHEN YOU'RE OUT, unless you have to carry it with you when you're moving from one place to the other & on the plane etc. & going from one country to the other. Be sure you carry it then in a secure place. I always carry it in a pocket that it just can't fall out of. Usually I'm wearing my jacket & I carry it in an inside pocket that has a button on it & where it's very secure. But when I get to where I'm going & we get settled I take my passport out & I put it, along with other important papers, in my briefcase & I leave it at home. That's what the police advise you to do.

30. DON'T CARRY YOUR PASSPORT WITH YOU. If you say, "I've got to have some sort of identification along," well‚ do what we have done. It's a very simple thing to do. If you don't have a xerox nearby just go to one of these copy places & copy your passport, the important pages, particularly the one with your picture & your name & address & the number of the passport & place & date of issue & time of expiration.

31. YOU CAN COPY IT TWO PAGES AT A TIME & usually all that information is on a couple of those first pages & you xerox or copy those two pages, then the next most important two pages are, in case you should lose it, a couple of pages in the back which have your home address or permanent address & who to notify in case of emergency so that if you do lose it & it is found by an honest person or the police, it can be returned to you. Then the next important page is the one that contains your visa stamp showing that you're legally in the country & that your passport has been stamped & there it is.

32. SO‚ PTL! I DON'T KNOW‚ MAYBE THAT DREAM WAS JUST TO GET ME GOING SO I COULD WARN YOU ABOUT HOW TO CARRY YOUR VALUABLES, but do try to carry your money in a number of different pockets in smaller amounts scattered all over your person so that if a pickpocket does get your wallet or some purse or some part of it, he won't get it all & especially your passport. Carry that in an inside secure pocket that has a button on it, preferably inside your coat, & I usually carry it with my plane ticket in the little folder or container they give you for your plane ticket because you usually have to pull them both out at the same time & show them when you're going through airports. So PTL!

33. WATCH YOUR WALLETS! GBY! And Happy Landings! And take offs, too! In Jesus' name! Amen.—And if anybody sees Milly, give'r my love!—She looked like she wanted it!—I shouldn't been in such a hurry‚ or the dream mighta had a nicer ending!—Ha!—And if you know what the rest of it means, please tell me!—Ha! GBY! ILY!

34. "SAY NITEY NITE & KISS ME, just hold me tight & tell me you'll miss me!—And in your dreams whatever they be, dream a little dream of me!"—"Goodnight, Sweetheart, till we meet tomorrow, goodnight‚ Sweetheart, sleep will banish sorrow, tears & parting may make us forlorn, but with the morn a new day is born!"—HAL! Amen! PTL! GBY! So long until Tomorrow!—& my next dream!—& I hope it'll be a dream of you! GBYAKYAMYAB forever! ILY!