—By Father David
—Is your religion strong, virile‚ exciting and fruitful!
—Or weak, frigid, dull and barren!
1. WELL, PRAISE THE LORD! This is Wednesday morning, the 13th‚ & we're still where we were yesterday, & I'm putting on my jewelry getting ready to go out to brunch.
2. WHEN I WAS IN THE BATHROOM THIS MORNING I REMEMBERED THAT I HAD A DREAM LAST NIGHT‚ a very strange dream & I don't know yet what it means, but maybe I'll get it as usual when I'm telling it.
3. THE FIRST THING I CAN REMEMBER IS I WAS LOOKING IN THE MIRROR & I WAS THINKING HOW MUCH YOUNGER I LOOKED CLEAN-SHAVEN, & you were arguing with me about it that you didn't think I looked all that younger just because I had shaved. And I said, "Well, I sure think I look a lot younger this away!"
4. I WENT OUT TO EAT BRUNCH & THERE WAS EDNA TURNBULL, AN OLD FRIEND OF OURS, or someone who looked like her, fairly old but still pretty like she was, & she invited me to have lunch with her. I helped her up, she seemed to be kind of stiff in the joints or something & we walked over to a table where someone else was already sitting, some man friend she knew, & we sat down with him. It turned out he was some kind of a doctor or something.
5. WE ORDERED SANDWICHES & WHEN WE GOT THE SANDWICHES THEY WERE LIKE THOSE LITTLE TEA HOUSE SANDWICHES, only there wasn't anything to them. I thought, "My Lord, how can people have the nerve to call these sandwiches? They're more like a little hor d'oeuvre!" But I didn't want to complain so I just ate my sandwich & that was it.
6. THEN THIS DOCTOR FELLOW OR WHOEVER HE WAS INVITED US OVER TO HIS CLINIC to see some kind of film & to conduct some kind of an experiment or something, & there were two or three of us young fellows sitting there & we all had big hard-ons, & mine was about the biggest & longest & stiffest of all!
7. IT SEEMED LIKE WE WERE WAITING FOR THEM TO CONDUCT THIS EXPERIMENT ON US for some reason, & we kept waiting & waiting, & mine was getting pretty anxious to go! So I finally turned around & looked at the doctor & Edna & several other women who were sitting there, & I said, "Well, come on, let's go, what are we going to do with it?" I said, "Who wants it? I'm ready!" And I woke up hard!
8. BUT IT WAS TOO EARLY IN THE MORNING TO GET UP, it was too early in the morning‚ & I was too sleepy to make love & Maria was asleep so I didn't want to wake her up. So it all went to waste. I don't know what in the world that dream was about or why I dream such crazy things! Sometimes I just dream something silly because of the business of the day‚ or the business of the night, one or the other. But it sure was clear, it was funny how clear the dream was.
9. MAYBE BEING CLEAN-SHAVEN HAS SOME SIGNIFICANCE, maybe I should shave. Edna is an old, old friend, she's long gone now, she died long ago. She was my Mother's age. And what the significance of the sandwich was I don't know.
10. THEY WERE KIND OF LIKE CHURCH PEOPLE & IT REMINDS ME OF HOW THE CHURCH PEOPLE FEED YOU SPIRITUALLY, NEVER GIVE YOU ENOUGH TO SATISFY. Then they took us over to that clinic to find out how we could feed them sexually or something, kind of like it's the contrast between them feeding us & us feeding them.
11. OUR DOCTRINES ARE PRETTY SEXY! But everybody seemed to be hesitating about accepting our penises, & I was getting very anxious to go, we were sitting there with them sticking straight out, but that's the last I remember.
12. THAT MIGHT BE SIGNIFICANT ABOUT HOW HESITANT THE CHURCH PEOPLE ARE ABOUT ACCEPTING OUR RADICAL DOCTRINES. My penis sticking straight out could certainly represent our radical shocking doctrines, & the fact that they were a little hesitant about accepting them. The three of us boys there, the boys & I all seemed to be on the same side. And most of these women, there were some of you women, the girls there‚ but there were other friends of Edna's, older women, & they were looking kind of shocked & embarrassed.
13. BUT IT'S A FUNNY THING, THEY LOOKED A LITTLE EAGER LIKE THEY WOULD LIKE TO TRY IT, but they were ashamed to‚ pride is sin, & they were ashamed to confess they wanted to try it. They were hesitant, they didn't want to confess they needed it! Well, that's about all I can see to it.
14. IT SEEMED LIKE I WAS A LOT YOUNGER, not only shaved but I looked younger, & boy, my penis felt stronger! Maybe that's the way I am in the Spirit. I guess that's what it means. Well, that's certainly symbolic again of the comparison between us & the other Christians & church people.
15. IT ALL SEEMED LIKE THEY WERE TRYING TO TEST US sort of‚ they were testing us. And they were very curious & seemed to be genuinely interested, but just the same‚ they were trying to really test us & see if we really had it!
16. WE HAD IT, BUT THEY WOULDN'T ACCEPT IT! At least they were too slow because I woke up before anybody did it, sad to say, but there it was! Don't touch me so close, honey‚ I'll get going again!
17. GOD BLESS YOU‚ DEAR LITTLE TYPIST! I love you, wherever you are!—And would like to give you one if I had a chance! Thank You Lord! God bless you! I love you! Bye bye! I guess you can call this one, "The Ready Penis" or "The Penis Test."
18. IS YOUR LIFE BULGING WITH EXCITEMENT, VIRILITY & FRUITFULNESS?!—Or dead, dull, sterile, frigid & barren like most churches! C'mon let's go! Go forth bearing precious seed & plant it in fertile fruitful receptive ground, young & eager for it & bursting with offspring for Jesus!—Amen?—GBYAKY&MYA sower of seed!